Archive: Master/Apprentice. Anywhere else is fine too ... just
let me know ;->.
Category: POV (Obi-Wan)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan
Spoilers: Phantom Menace -- the big one
Summary: Obi-Wan's thoughts during the Council Meeting on Naboo
Feedback: Yes, please!
Author's Note: I don't use betas, so all mistakes are mine. I
saw the movie again today and got bit by an angst bunny!
Disclaimers: I don't own the boys (if I did a certain Jedi
Master wouldn't be... well... SPOILER), and this is all for
love, not money.
If two male Jedi being all mushy and passionate about each
other -- and a friend -- offends you, or if you shouldn't be
reading stuff like this at your age, please skip on to the next
post!
They don't say it, but I can see the question in their eyes.
Do I regret it? Now that I am alone... now that the other half
of my soul has proceeded me into the Force -- as we always
suspected you would... the only aspect of our relationship
where the difference in our ages did matter -- do I
regret defying them... becoming not only your lover but your
lifebond?
Do you?
If I concentrate, I can feel you... a small piece of the
infinite Force that is somehow still linked to me and yet part
of the whole... something that goes against all the rules
taught to me by the venerated masters seated before me. But
then, when did we two ever live by their rules?
Not that we didn't try -- at least in this case.
You knew what the Council would say... that the validity of my
training would constantly be called into question -- as if
loving me would make you more rather than less lax in teaching
me the skills I would need to survive. As I knew that our
bonding would revive the vile rumours about you and Xanatos and
the reasons why he turned.
I wanted to spare you that pain, as I know you wanted to spare
me this one. But as hard as I tried, I could not rid myself of
my feelings for you. Bury them... control them... but not
remove them. And once I realized that you felt the same... I
was lost -- willingly, joyfully, forever lost... in your arms,
your eyes, your love.
Oh, my master... I will miss the feel of your arms around me,
and the look in your eyes even more, but I still have your love
to comfort me. Even as your body went limp in my arms, I felt
it surround me... letting me know as words never could that we
were right to defy them... that our bond is true... and we are
eternal.
So I meet those questioning eyes calmly, the answer clear in my
mind for those who dare to look. No -- I do not regret. And I
know beyond a shadow of a doubt that neither do you.
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