Obi-Wan felt only a deepening of his master's peace in their
connection, the shields blocking the touch of ecstasy Qui-Gon
had felt within the trance state. He smiled to himself as he
read, feeling a harmony between them even though he was on the
outside. Indeed, he felt so peaceful that his eyes closed and
his head drooped down onto the datapad... and in minutes he was
asleep.
Qui-Gon rose from his meditation feeling restored yet solemn.
He now had the knowledge of what was to be done and the
conviction that his sacrifice would be just. [I can adapt - and
the Force will lead me where my sight will no longer take me.]
He sighed as he stood and turned to the sleeping room, feeling
acceptance and peace about his decision. [The Force wills
this... I did love Jez once... I can do this for him... and
then he will breathe the Force again, our life-blood...] He
smiled, then looked up, seeing his former apprentice sprawled
stomach-down on the bed, head pillowed on the still-glowing
datapad.
It was a sight that touched him deeply also - his beautiful,
young protege, so vibrant and strong, so sweet though
sensual... and utterly his. [Perhaps the Guardian is right,]
Qui-Gon thought, coming to the door to watch him, [I need to
allow Obi-Wan to please me... allow myself to be pleased...]
But for now his eyes would drink in all they could... while
they still could.
Qui-Gon silently stripped off his tabard, tunic, undertunic,
boots, pants and breeches, until he stood nude. Then, arms
raised, his hands placed on the door frame to either side, he
leaned in to watch over his sleeping love.
Obi-Wan woke a minute later, stretching and yawning like a
large, lean feline. He shut off the datapad and dropped it to
the floor beside the bed, then rolled over onto his back and
began to sit up. Then he saw... and froze as the sight hit him
with a rush. His Master, completely nude, framed in the
doorway, displayed for his viewing, watching him with a strange
expression.
The Knight stared at the Master for a long moment, his mouth
gone dry. Qui-Gon Jinn, though age-wise was a bit past his
prime, was nevertheless a magnificent physical specimen of a
man, his very tall body lean and hard muscled from decades of
training, fighting, and strict personal discipline. The younger
man could not help but also admire his endowments, the long,
thick penis laying as yet flaccid against the full sac...
Hastily Obi-Wan returned his gaze to his lover's face... was
that longing he saw? But something else was there... sorrow?
That should not be...
Gingerly Obi-Wan touched his Master's mind only to find the
shields still in place. "Qui-Gon?" he whispered, wondering, his
heart beating fast. [Beloved Master, why do you shield from
me?]
[I'm sorry, Obi-Wan,] Qui-Gon murmured, caressing his mind
lightly. [I will let my shields down for I have something I
must tell you. And then you are going to let me make love to
you.]
Again the rush of hot desire shot through him at his lover's
words and mental touch. Obi-wan indeed felt suddenly hot, his
clothes confining. But he took a moment to steady himself,
letting the Force calm him, center him in the moment. He wanted
to savor this... he wanted to savor every moment with Qui-Gon.
"Yes," he whispered, one hand slowly untying his tunic. "Tell
me, beloved."
Qui-Gon moved to help with the tunic, drawing Obi-Wan to his
feet. In moments, the young Knight was as nude as he, and,
wonderfully distracted, Qui-Gon took the time to look him over
appreciatively. He entwined his fingers with the other's and
held his arms out, smiling. "Force, but you're beautiful,"
Qui-Gon murmured. Indeed, Obi-Wan was magnificent himself, his
young body fully mature, also hard muscled and developed, his
skin glowing golden and cream in the bloom of youth. The Master
memorized the sight, wanting to hold this image of his beloved
forever.
Obi-Wan murmured, "Let me get the light..."
"No," Qui-Gon responded quickly. "I need to see you."
"Your shields..." Gently and lovingly Obi-Wan knocked on the
barriers still between their minds. [Tell me, beloved...]
[I will.] Qui-Gon drew his lover over to the bed. They lay down
together, facing one another but still apart though Obi-Wan
twined his legs with Qui-Gon's, his hands shyly touching his
chest. Qui-Gon looked into his eyes, loving the gaze that was
there for him alone. Then holding that gaze with his, he
lowered his shields to his beloved.
The Jedi Master bared the memory of his encounter with the
Guardian...
"NO!" Obi-Wan shouted a moment later, backing up off the bed
away from him, though keeping a knee on the edge as he stared,
appalled, at his former master. "I won't let you do this,
Qui-Gon, you mustn't!!"
Qui-Gon reached for him, and Obi-Wan, shaking with powerful
emotions, allowed himself to be drawn back to the bed. "I can
and will do this, beloved," Qui-Gon murmured, stroking his
agitated lover's face. "The Force will compensate. It is not
such a deprivation..."
"Sith-hell, it is, too," Obi-Wan returned vehemently, glaring
at him. "You do not owe Jezrael Rima THAT, Qui-Gon. The
Guardian asks too much!"
"Shhhhh..." Qui-Gon hushed him, pulling him against his body.
[Obi-Wan, calm down, love. Listen to the Force within... let me
show you...]
Obi-Wan fought back the tide of anger, letting his Master's
serenity wash over him, soothe him. [Master, you should not do
this,] he protested still. [Please, I beg you...]
[None of that, Padawan,] Qui-Gon returned, sending him love
mixed with firmness. [Is it really so bad? My other senses will
only become sharper as I acclimate. It is not a handicap for a
Jedi. As long as I always remember how you look at me... that
is all I need.]
The Knight found his own vision obscured by tears, and he
swiped them away hastily. [What is the Guardian going to ask of
you next, if you allow this? Your love for me or mine
for you? Your life??]
[The moment, beloved, we exist only in the moment...] And
before the angry Knight could reject that thought, Qui-Gon
clasped his lover hard with mind and mouth, capturing his to
silence his anger. [There is no tomorrow. There is no Guardian.
There is today and there are you and me. That is all. Trust me,
Obi-Wan...]
[Foolish old man,] Obi-Wan tried still to protest despite the
hungry kiss of his beloved and the unavoidable presence in his
mind.
[Oh, NOW I'm old?]
[Yes, now you are,] returned the answer, petulantly.
[It is the will of the Force, beloved.]
[No, it is the hopeless attachments you make to pathetic life
forms...]
[Jezrael is Jedi...]
[He's mad...]
[It is the Force-blindness. And he is our brother.]
Obi-Wan groaned into Qui-Gon's insistent mouth. His master's
single-mindedness was something he was proud of... when it
didn't make him want to scream with frustration like right now.
Dedication was one thing, closeness to the Force was one thing,
but... this! Clearly nothing he could say or do would sway his
Master from this senseless act. Worse, Qui-Gon fully expected
him to accept this fate as he had.
He pulled his mouth away, the dread swelling within him. "I
can't..."
But he could not avoid Qui-Gon in his mind. [If it was Ris-Del
or Master Koth who had become Force-blind and you were the only
one who could Heal him... and if you had loved him once... can
you not see that I must do this?]
[I can love only you,] Obi-Wan returned fervently, unable to
meet his gaze. [I have loved only you, ever, and will never
love another.]
[I love you no less, Obi-Wan,] Qui-Gon countered, his thoughts
frighteningly calm. [I would die for you.]
The serene statement hit Obi-Wan at his core. He put his face
in his hands and hid against his lover's chest, abashed.
[Master, do not say that...]
[There is no death, Padawan. Have you forgotten all your
lessons?] The smooth, caressing voice took on a note of
hardness. [Are you Jedi?]
Obi-Wan felt the pulse of the Force thrum through him, unbidden
and unwanted, but there it was, his very life. Jedi - all that
he knew and all that he was, connected forever to the living
energies of the universe. [I am Jedi,] he said with as much
fervor as when he proclaimed his love. [Oh, Master, I am
ashamed... I cannot bear to think of this... to let you do
this... Help me to understand.]
[Listen to the Force, beloved.]
[It...it's hard.]
[Yes, it is. You knew your life was going to be hard, Obi-Wan
Kenobi,] the Master persisted. [I see something was left undone
at Naboo. Something that you will need to do very soon since
you have not already.] Despite his harsh words, Qui-Gon stroked
the young Knight's hair soothingly.
[What... what is that?]
[Let me go.] The hand stilled.
Obi-Wan sat up and stared at him in horror. "Wh...what did you
say?"
The beautiful blue eyes that would soon be sightless looked on
him with perfect serenity. "I said, Obi-Wan, that you must let
me go. At Naboo, I heeded your vision because you asked me
to... and many say a great evil was prevented because the Sith
did not get to strike me down. That was the will of the Force.
Nevertheless, you needed to let me go. I might have died
anyway, for from the moment I hung back to wait for you, the
future was changed and anything might have happened. We both
might have succumbed. At any moment, we must let one another
go, for absorption into the Force, what death is for us. Life
is a gift, not a possession..."
With a gasp, the Knight stared at his former Master... Truth
slamming into him. His truth, their truth. There was no death
for the Jedi. There was the Force. The Force, indeed, was
Master, Lover, Father, Child, Brother, Friend... everything to
the Jedi. Calm, the serene assurance of Jedi faith, flooded
over him.
For the first time, Obi-Wan wondered what it was like for
Jezrael Rima, to be bereft of the living sensation of the Force
flowing around and within him... like Obi-Wan felt so acutely
right this moment, the Force fluttering and pulsating vibrantly
between his beloved Qui-Gon and himself. To lose awareness of
the Force... to return to the insensate state of a young child
before one's Force-senses were touched into wakefulness by
intensive Jedi training. To revert... was a Jedi's nightmare.
Jezrael's suffering must be acute, he wondered.
And he knew his Master was, of course, right about the rest. "I
understand," Obi-Wan murmured at last, his composure returned.
He bowed his head low, eyes downcast. "Forgive me, my master,
for falling prey to childish fears." The Force flowed through
him, fluid and free. "I support and accept your decision. I
will not challenge your judgment again."
"I'm afraid I will be needing you all the more now," Qui-Gon
murmured, his heart aching to see the struggle break and flow
through his young lover. "When we resume our normal missions,
that is."
Obi-Wan found he could smile again. He glanced back up, then
with a deep sigh, settled back down against Qui-Gon's side,
pulling him close. "Master, our missions are never normal...
and with the change of Supreme Chancellors, there's every
indication that they could get even worse. It's a funny time
for the Republic."
"That it is, Padawan," Qui-Gon replied, kissing his cheek
tenderly. "You will help me to adjust, then I will only need a
few visual assists from you..."
"Like the facial expressions of planetary representatives,"
Obi-Wan put in, "I can even send you images mentally. You've
trained me well, beloved. Knowing you, I somehow feel this will
make you an even more effective negotiator."
"Perhaps..." Qui-Gon caressed his lover's arms and chest, then
mentally called him in closer. [I haven't shared all of the
encounter with you...] Then he let flow forth the memory of the
moment of ecstasy of union with the Force...
Obi-Wan had no idea how sharing the memory of such a spiritual
bonding could be so erotic, but a moment later, he was moaning
into his master's insistent mouth, his body writhing against
the other's, every fiber of his being aching to join with
Qui-Gon/the Force, in this moment seeming to be one in the
same. [Yours, dearest Master, I am yours! Force, I need you to
enter me, possess me!] Then, before his lover could caution
him, Obi-Wan himself reined in his spiking lust, claiming the
peace of the Force, allowing it to flood him even as it flooded
his beloved.
The kiss proceeded with less intensity, loving and tender.
[Love you well, beloved Master,] the Knight sighed into the
other's mind. [Love you well, beloved Padawan,] came back the
quiet reply.
They made love with the Force flowing strong and full between
them. Qui-Gon put Obi-Wan on his back so he could watch and
memorize his face as he entered him. Then he thrust slowly in
and out of Obi-Wan, riding the crest of the Force as it pulsed
in their mingled minds until they cascaded together over into
orgasmic bliss, only joy between them...
Anakin felt like skipping, he was so happy. He could not have
said why, but there it was - and he was even up early,
intending to stop by to say good morning to his masters before
the t'che, maybe walk there with them. Coming to a sliding stop
outside their shared quarters, the boy immediately knelt down
to wait.
He'd tried to sense something of his masters through their new
bond, but he hadn't learned as yet to reach out and reassure
himself of their mental presence nearby. This close, he thought
he sensed... well, he wasn't sure he could put a name on it,
but it made him feel good, safe and loved.
Within the rooms, Master and Knight were still lingering,
enjoying the treasure of their intimacy; though cleaned up and
dressed for the day, they sat together on their bed sharing a
final kiss before leaving to go to the Healers. Obi-Wan,
fingering the dark brown of his Master's robe with one hand and
the beard along the edge of his chin with the other, played
leisurely with Qui-Gon's lips.
[You are at peace this morning, beloved,] Qui-Gon whispered
into his mind gently.
[As are you,] Obi-Wan returned. [We are blessed with the
serenity of the Force. All is well. And our padawan... can you
sense him?]
Qui-Gon, smiling, only deepened the kiss, getting a muffled
whimper from his young lover. [Of course I sense him. He feels
our joy, though he does not know he is sensing us. Soon he will
learn to read the bond better. Oh, beloved, I was so bewildered
when the bond between you and I began - I thought it a terrible
nuisance since I was sure I did not want to train you... if
only I had listened to the Force sooner. It shocked me when I
first felt you - and I should have given into destiny in that
first moment.]
[The past is past, beloved,] Obi-Wan reminded him, caressing
the bearded cheek. [It shocked you, but it thrilled me to my
toes... I was aching to be your padawan...]
[I know. And it is past. Now we share a padawan, a bright young
promise named Anakin. He is a good boy, and he is going to do
well. I feel it all through me...]
[So do I...] Obi-Wan ended their kiss reluctantly and drawing
back, he gazed deep into the calm blue eyes of his lover. [How
will you tell him? He is going to understand this far less than
I did at first...]
Qui-Gon studied his protege's eyes, nodding. "I know. I trust
in the Force and in the Guardian that we may successfully win
his acceptance as well. Your support is critical... I thank you
for that."
Impulsively, Obi-Wan eased off the edge of the bed and onto his
knees before his former master. "Qui-Gon Jinn, I am yours...
and I have no will except to serve you, support you, respect
you, honor you, and love you as long as I may."
The Jedi Master was taken aback, but then remembered the
Guardian's words to him - "allow yourself to be pleased..."
"Your service, support, respect, honor and love pleases me
deeply, beloved," he replied, and smiled as the joy shone from
his companion's eyes.
"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan replied. Impulsively he reached up
and brushed his lips with his again before rising to his feet.
"I love you, Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon rose to his full height. "I love you, Obi-Wan." He
smiled and touched his shoulder, then moved past him to open
the door for their padawan.
Anakin bounded to his feet and nearly danced inside, bursting
with a child's energy. But he pulled himself up short to
perform the necessary low bow. "Good morning, Master Qui-Gon.
Good morning, Master Obi-Wan. May I walk with you to the t'che,
sirs?"
The tall Jedi Master returned the bow, smiling faintly. "Good
morning, Padawan Anakin," he replied, settling back into
solemnity before their student.
Obi-Wan glanced at the elder, then bowed as well. "Good
morning, Anakin," he added.
"We will not be attending the t'che this morning, Ani," Qui-Gon
continued calmly. "Obi-Wan and I will be visiting the Healers.
I understand that you met a strange Knight yesterday..."
The boy's face clouded. "Oh, him... ah, I mean, yes,
sir."
"The Knight is very ill, Ani," Obi-Wan said quickly. "Master
Qui-Gon is going to try to help him."
"Oh..." Anakin looked up the very long length of the tall Jedi
Master. "What's wrong with him? He was acting strangely..."
"He is Force-blind, Ani," Qui-Gon explained gravely. "He
sustained a brain injury a while ago out on the Rim that has
rendered him insensate to the Force. He is completely unable to
sense the Force."
Anakin, in his child's innocence, only frowned. "Oh? Is that a
bad thing?"
Obi-Wan almost cringed from the sudden severity in the Master's
demeanor. "Do you remember how you felt during the pod-race,
Anakin?" Qui-Gon asked, an edge to his deep voice. "The feeling
of pure power and joy and rightness?"
The boy's face transformed. "Oh, YEAH! It was incredible! I
felt so charged up, so strong, like nothing could get in my
way..." He felt silent and frowned again. "I don't get it,
sir."
Qui-Gon, still unsmiling, replied tersely, "A Jedi feels that
constantly, Padawan. It - the Force, that feeling - is what we
sense around us continually. When you sense the Force long it
becomes like breathing, and to take it away is like breath
stolen. Jedi Knight Jezrael Rima cannot feel that anymore. The
loss is hurting him. He could possibly die, though he will go
insane first. At the very least, he will have to leave the
Jedi."
The boy's eyes were wide with horror. "You feel that... all the
time? And it make you mad to stop feeling that?"
[Ease up on him, Master,] Obi-Wan was telling Qui-Gon, seeing
the sternness in his expression. [The boy does not know yet.]
The Master laid a reassuring hand on the Knight's shoulder even
as he continued to explain to their student. "Yes, Anakin, we
feel the Force continually." He indicated his long, dark robe
and the lightsaber on his belt. "These do not make us Jedi.
Communion with the Force does."
"Wow," Anakin breathed, awed. "I had no idea, Master. When we
formed my padawan bond yesterday... I think I felt the Force
then. That was amazing."
"Yes, you felt the Force within us," Qui-Gon replied, his tone
softening again. "You will come to know this in yourself soon,
Padawan. We will help you to awaken that sense in you. Not many
are born Force-sensitive, and not all Force-sensitives ever
come to an awareness of the Force."
"Master Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan offered, "is known to be
exceptionally close to the living Force. His training has
brought me close as well, I like to think."
"Indeed you are," Qui-Gon murmured with a small smile to his
lover, then turned back to the child. "I cared deeply for
Jezrael Rima once, Anakin, and he believes I can help him. I
must try."
Anakin, impressed, nodded. He felt an ache within himself, a
longing - was this the Force, was it trying to bring him
closer, too? [I want to be Jedi even more now,] he thought,
feeling his determination increase. [I will study, train, and
meditate hard and I will make them proud of me...] "I think I
understand, Master," he replied. "May I come, too, please?"
Qui-Gon shook his head. "No, Padawan. You need to attend t'che
and your classes. In lieu of our philosophy discussion today,
you may read. This is likely... to take a lot out of me." He
smiled briefly at the boy. "Would you like to take nightmeal in
our rooms with us tonight, Anakin?"
"Yes, sir," Anakin replied, pleased, though chastened at having
to keep to his schedule... and a little worried. "Will you be
all right, Master Qui-Gon?"
"Yes, of course, Ani..." Qui-Gon knelt down on one knee at the
boy's level, placing his large hands gently on the small
shoulders. "Do not be concerned for me. What happens today is
the will of the Force. A Knight's sanity and maybe his life
will be saved. That is what is important."
"Yes, sir," the boy responded, sighing. [I've got so much to
learn...]
Qui-Gon gazed at the boy a little longer... for the last time.
The sun-lightened hair, now cut to a padawan's length, would
likely darken in time, just as the tan from a double-sun planet
would fade. "Be good today, Ani," the Master said rather more
lovingly than he might have otherwise. "We'll both see you
tonight." He stood again with a last kind touch to the boy's
head.
Anakin smiled. "I will, sir, thank you!"
When the boy had gone, dancing off to hastily join the t'che,
Qui-Gon gathered his lover against him for a quick hug.
[Strange, beloved... I feel almost as if he is our child rather
than student...]
[You felt that for me, I know,] Obi-Wan reminded him,
tightening his arms around the tall form. [In the beginning.
You were father to me first... then friend. When I became a
man, you began to think of me... differently.] He smiled
against his lover's shoulder.
[I did look forward to that,] Qui-Gon teased lightly, then
pulled away to look into his eyes. "It is time. We need to go
to Jezrael now."
Obi-Wan nodded solemnly, in perfect acceptance now, as he
gestured for his former Master to precede him.
Master A'hu'el'ki was waiting for them. "Master Jinn," the
little red-furred Master gravely informed him, "There has been
a marked turn for the worse in Knight Rima's condition, I'm
afraid."
They went straight in to see him. Qui-Gon was shocked at the
change, for Jezrael was now incoherent, reduced to nonsensical
babblings, staring at nothing, somewhat responsive to light and
sound... but it was clear his mind was nearly gone. "He is
dying," Qui-Gon murmured, knowing.
"Eventually, yes. The deterioration, however, is not physical.
His condition has failed because he has no hope, I believe."
"I am prepared to do what I can to help heal him," Qui-Gon told
the little Healer firmly.
A'hu'el'ki looked up the long length of the tall human. "The
Force wills it, Qui-Gon Jinn." He bowed to him respectfully.
"May the Force be with you. Do you need our assistance?"
Qui-Gon bowed back. "Thank you. No, I believe this is something
I must do alone," he replied. The little Master bowed again,
then left the room.
Obi-Wan closed the door behind them. "Master, is there anything
I can do?" he whispered as the elder sat on the edge of the
bed, taking Jezrael's hand in his.
"Just... be here. And above all, do not interfere with the
Guardian." Qui-Gon turned to meet his eyes. "No matter what."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan murmured. He moved to stand before the
door, his arms crossed over his chest as if standing guard.
Qui-Gon leaned over the bed. "Jez, I am here," he spoke low and
intently to the man still softly muttering to himself. "It's
Qui-Gon. I will try to heal you."
The muttering stopped. The eyes of the man tracked, not quite
able to focus. "Qui?" he croaked finally.
"Yes, Jez, I'm here."
Then suddenly there seemed to be a wind rushing through the
room. Jezrael's eyes closed and he let out a sigh, relaxing.
Qui-Gon sagged forward, his head against the other man's
forehead, his arm laid across Jezrael's chest. Obi-Wan stared,
wondering, then froze as the Guardian appeared. The shadow
image of his master turned first to face him.
The Knight found himself on his knees. [Guardian, the will of
the Force be done,] he sent fervently, then gasped when he felt
a soft touch on his chest from the Force-entity.
[Shhh, our Knight, all is well,] the Guardian sent back, and
seemed to smile. [Be at peace.]
Obi-Wan smiled as well, his mind eased, then sat back on his
heels to watch as the Guardian turned to the bed. Through his
mind-link with his master, he would again hear the Guardian.
It seemed as if the Guardian took Qui-Gon in his arms, or
blended himself with the Master's body, not reintegrating but
covering him as a glowing aura, becoming one with him in a new
way. He - now Qui-Gon/Guardian, straightened, then reached his
large hands out to clasp both sides of Jezrael's head. [Now to
show you our way of Healing, our Qui-Gon,] the entity murmured
from within the Master's own mind.
Obi-Wan could not at first discern what it was that the entity
was showing Qui-Gon, but he felt the movement of Force surging
through his beloved, a fast, pulsing river. [The will of the
Force be done,] Obi-Wan reminded himself again even as he
watched the living Force and knelt to its power. Then he felt
the last of his master's shields opening to him and he was
inside, caught up in the web of Healing power. But the Knight
could neither touch the power, he immediately realized, nor be
affected by it. He understood he was being allowed to witness,
no more. This was Qui-Gon's sacrifice, not his, though Obi-Wan
would have readily shared it.
[I yield to the Force,] Qui-Gon breathed. [Show me the way...]
[Like... so, our host.]
To the Force-sensitive, it appeared that tendrils of Force
began to stream from Jedi Master to the wounded Jedi Knight,
from Qui-Gon's widened eyes to Jezrael's forehead. Unlike a
normal Jedi healing, there wasn't anything in Jezrael's brain
to be healed, only replaced, the portion of the brain managing
that sense having been destroyed. The Force-tendrils were in
effect recreating that missing cellular tissue, in fact, the
Jedi understood that a transference of midi-chlorians was also
taking place, something that otherwise would have required a
brain tissue transplant or infusion of blood.
When it was done, Jezrael was released, though the aura of the
Guardian did not as yet reintegrate with the Jedi Master. It
left Qui-Gon slumped weakly on the bed, bent over the still
unconscious Knight, and coalesced to its shadow form. Obi-Wan,
blinking as he became separate again as well, looked up to see
the Guardian looming over him, then kneeling to come down to
his level.
[Qui-Gon...?] Obi-Wan asked the apparition in awe. [Is he all
right?]
The Guardian appeared weary, yet he smiled. [Our beautiful
Knight... yes, your beloved is well. The other Knight is
Healed, though his new sense will need to be developed. He is
as a child all over again in that respect. It will come. He
will live now and serve the Force again.]
[Thank you,] Obi-Wan replied, shivering with emotion: wonder,
love, fear, awe... [Will there be more... sacrifices?] He
reached out to touch the shadowy form. To his wonder, he felt
something... his fingers tingled, though there was nothing
solid to touch. Just... the Force.
[That cannot be determined,] the Guardian replied. [Remember
that the offering of the gift is greater than the gift itself.
Remember that... Now, I will watch with you and stand guard...]
He rose to his feet in the usual smooth, elegant style that
Qui-Gon employed, not one movement wasted.
Qui-Gon began to stir, taking a deep breath as he straightened.
Immediately Obi-Wan was at his side, an arm around his
shoulders. [Padawan...] the Master breathed, touching his
lover's mind and inviting him back in. [It is done.] Qui-Gon
blinked, but he was indeed plunged into darkness, his eyes
registering no entrance of light. [You are my eyes now,
beloved.]
[I am honored to so serve,] Obi-Wan returned quickly, though
his heart wrenched at the words. [Always I will be at your
side. The Force is with you, Qui-Gon, my beloved...] Moving to
stand behind him, he pulled him gently back to lean on him.
The Jedi Master pulled the arms encircling him down to his
chest, even as he reached out to check on Jezrael. [He will
awaken soon,] he murmured, then sagged back heavily against
Obi-Wan as a wave of vertigo hit him.
[Never mind him, Qui-Gon,] Obi-Wan replied worriedly, sparing a
glance at the silent Guardian who observed them impassively,
arms folded in his deep sleeves. [You're in a bad way, drained
of energy.] Hastily the Knight managed to call the Healers on
his comlink even as he propped up his exhausted Master.
In minutes, Qui-Gon was settled in a separate room where he
quickly fell into a deep sleep. Obi-Wan was prepared to sit
vigil over him, but Master A'hu'el'ki called him out. To the
Knight's wonder, the little, furred Master did not see the
Guardian. "Knight Kenobi, please attend as Knight Rima awakens.
Master Jinn must sleep to recover. I will stay with him."
A gesture from the Guardian, and Obi-Wan nodded, bowing. "Yes,
of course," he said. As he left, the Guardian, who plainly was
going to stay at Qui-Gon's side, nodded to him in approval.
"Qui?" came a weak voice from the bed as Obi-Wan entered.
Jezrael reached out a hand.
Obi-Wan took the hand in his and sat down on the edge of the
bed. "Qui-Gon is resting elsewhere, Jezrael," he replied
quietly. "This is Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Eyelids fluttered, then the man peered at him. "Obi-Wan...
did... did he tell you?"
The younger Knight nodded calmly. "I know you and Qui-Gon loved
one another once. And that you left when he chose to become a
teacher. I can tell you from personal experience that Qui-Gon
Jinn is an exceptional Master, and that I am exceedingly
grateful to have had the opportunity to be his padawan. I would
not be a Jedi Knight today if he had not been a teacher."
"Yes?" Jezrael sighed and managed a smile. "It was the will of
the Force, then. I am fortunate to have had his love once. I
know much time has passed... and that he has found another
love." He smiled more easily. "You're a lucky man, Obi-Wan
Kenobi."
Obi-Wan relaxed, noting the man seemed entirely sane once
again. He felt as if he was seeing the true Jezrael Rima
finally, and wondered if he would see why Qui-Gon loved this
man once. "I know I am," he smiled back. "Jezrael, how are you
feeling? I know the Healers are going to ask that."
Jezrael released the hand he held and sat back, though it had
not felt strange at all to touch the man whom Qui-Gon now
loved. "I feel myself again... the strange emotions and
thoughts are gone. You must have thought I was mad..."
"You were, a little," Obi-Wan explained, folding his arms
together inside his robe sleeves, though he remained seated.
"The loss of your Force-sense indeed threatened your sanity.
And your life was in danger."
The other man released a deep exhale. "I don't know what
Qui-Gon did, but I know somehow I am healed. I can't explain
how I knew he could help me either, Obi-Wan. I just knew I had
to come here and find him. Nothing else."
"This, too, was the will of the Force," Obi-Wan murmured
gently. He believed now that Jezrael Rima came here at this
time for a purpose, though what that was he did not know. So
that the Guardian could show himself to Qui-Gon? For only
because of Jezrael did Anakin succumb to the Dark in the
Conservatory, only to be brought back to the Light by
Qui-Gon... and Qui-Gon, through the Guardian, was able to heal
something the Healers could not... It was enough. "Are you
sensing anything yet?"
Jezrael closed his eyes for a moment to concentrate, then
opened them again and shook his head. "No, but I know the sense
is back. I can't explain it. I suppose I'll have to learn to
walk again, so to speak."
"Indeed," Obi-Wan replied, smiling. "I hope we can help with
that."
The elder Knight looked up at him in wonder. "Really? I... I
would like that. Obi-Wan, I know that I cannot be lovers with
Qui-Gon Jinn anymore... that was the madness speaking in me.
But I would still be his friend... and yours."
"I'd like that, Jez," Obi-Wan said, smiling. Then he
remembered. [How in Sith-hell do I tell this man what his
former lover gave up to save his mind?] But he did not let his
concern show on his face. "I'm glad to meet the real Jezrael at
last, and I'm glad you are recovering."
"Thanks," Jezrael sighed, closing his eyes again. "I feel a bit
like I've been hit in the head with something, though. Excuse
me..."
"Of course," Obi-Wan murmured, standing. He gave the man a last
look, then leaned over the bed and touched his arm briefly.
"Rest well, Jezrael."
After reporting to the Healers, Obi-Wan slipped into Qui-Gon's
room again. He looked first for the Guardian, and indeed the
shadow-form was still standing guard in a corner of the room,
watching the figure in the bed impassively. Master A'hu'el'ki
had departed as he came in, so they were alone.
The Knight frowned as his gaze fell upon his former master.
Qui-Gon looked older than he had this morning, it seemed.
Sitting beside him, Obi-Wan traced some of the lines on his
face - around his mouth, eyes, forehead. Thinner, too? [Oh,
love, this has taken more than your sight from you,] he thought
with a pang. [You are not old, you are forever hale, my
Master... I need you for many, many years...]
Again he glanced at the Guardian, and this time the Guardian
returned his gaze. [Why do I think you are testing me now?] he
sent to the shadowy entity, but there was no answer, just the
intent, soul-touching gaze. Sighing, Obi-Wan did the one thing
his training told him to do - close his eyes and meditate,
centering himself in the well of the Force.
Centered, listening to the peace in his heart, the quiet in his
mind, Obi-Wan was able to attend to the little whisperings of
the midi-chlorians that inhabited his cells. And suddenly he
knew. [You are testing me,] he thought of the Guardian,
but now that he had a task to do, he must get on with it.
Jedi used the Force to heal themselves, or rather dramatically
speed up their own healing. On occasion, they could assist in
another's healing... such as a Master aiding his padawan's
healing from training injuries, through his bond with his
padawan. Qui-Gon had done this many times with his apprentice,
at least until Obi-Wan was fluent enough with the Force to
effect his own Healing.
Levering the Master's torso up, Obi-Wan climbed up onto the bed
to sit behind him, settling Qui-Gon's head against his shoulder
as he sat propped up with him, his arms around the front of
him. It took a few minutes to get comfortable, and the Knight
had had to Force-call over a couple pillows to add to what they
already had. Only twice before had Qui-Gon allowed Obi-Wan to
assist in healing his Master of something, usually sprains or
pulled muscles. This did not concern the Knight, who closed his
eyes and with little effort, eased his mind into a Healing
trance.
Anakin that morning had sailed through t'che, gulped down his
morning meal, devotedly ploughed through a philosophy reading
Master Janaka had assigned the class the day before,
frantically tried to meditate for the assigned half hour, then
managed to sit through two classes before it was time for
noonmeal, which he uncharacteristically skipped in order to go
by the Healers. All morning he thought he was sensing something
from his padawan bond with his masters. Although he couldn't
put a name on it, it was enough to encourage him to seek them
out, find out what was going on.
The attendant droid asked him politely if he had an appointment
and would he please state his name? "Padawan Anakin Skywalker,"
the boy returned in same, then hastily added, "No, I do not
have an appointment, but I would like to see Master Jinn and
Knight Kenobi."
"Hmmm, they are not patients here..."
"They're here to help someone, a Knight," Anakin offered
hopefully. Droids could be so single-minded; hopefully this one
would pass him off to a real person if he didn't understand.
"Ah, well, let me ask around," the droid replied, bowing.
Fortunately the droid returned almost immediately. "Come with
me..."
To Anakin's surprise, he was ushered into a little sitting room
where Master Yoda and a Knight were sitting and conversing. It
was the very same Knight that his masters were supposed to be
healing! The boy bowed to them as was expected. "Master Yoda...
Knight..." He eyed the Knight warily. "I'm sorry, sir, I don't
know your name."
"Jezrael Rima," the man explained, smiling as he returned the
bow, then sat back down. Master Yoda only nodded to the child
gravely.
"Knight Rima," Anakin greeted him, then looked worriedly at the
little Master. "Where are my masters, Master Yoda? Are they all
right?"
Yoda peered at the young apprentice, studying him. "Feel them
you do not?"
"Er... I guess so," Anakin replied, shrugging. "I'm not very
good at it yet."
"There is no guess," Yoda countered, pointing at him. "Sense
your masters, you do."
"Yes, sir."
"Hmmmm..." Yoda assessed the boy critically, feeling the
ripples in the Force around him.
Anakin frowned and sighed. "You don't like me much, do you,
Master Yoda?"
But the diminutive elder only made the noise again. "Hmmmm..."
Then he added with a minute rumble of humor, "Growing on me,
you are, Padawan Anakin. Concerned about you, I most certainly
am."
"You are?" Anakin was surprised. He'd known without being told
that Master Yoda had not approved of training a boy already
nine years of age to be a Jedi.
"My padawan, Qui-Gon Jinn was," Yoda replied solemnly. "Care
about him, I do. Lose another apprentice, he must not."
"I don't know what you mean, sir," Anakin said, shocked. Master
Jinn, lose an apprentice? [Lose how? Did he die?]
"Tell you, he will. One day when ready he is." Yoda paused and
nodded toward the Knight. "Met Knight Rima you have?"
Before Anakin could respond, Jezrael spoke up quickly. "Look,
Anakin, I apologize for our first meeting. I was not in my
right mind then, and I'm sorry if I caused you any distress."
"That's okay," the boy replied, relaxing finally. "Master
Qui-Gon said you were ill. Did he help you?"
Jezrael nodded, smiling. "I'm healed, though I have to learn to
use my Force-sense again. Master Qui-Gon is resting, I
understand. Obi-Wan is with him. I'm waiting to see them, too."
"Can I see them, Master Yoda?" Anakin suddenly felt a surge of
need within him to make sure his teachers were well. It didn't
make sense that their patient was so obviously healthy if they
weren't all right...
Yoda noted the spike in the Force. "See them, you may, Padawan.
With Knight Rima, you may go. Follow, I will." He gestured
toward the door.
The child came into the room feeling stranger than he'd ever
felt before, all tingly and excited though he didn't understand
it. Was this the Force he was feeling or his bond? Or was it
all one and the same? Already forgetting about the Knight and
the Master watching from the doorway, Anakin went right up to
the bed and slipped his hand into Master Qui-Gon's slack hand
laying on the bed linens. He felt... safe... seeing the elder
Master cushioned so lovingly in the arms of his younger master,
both of whom appeared asleep.
Jezrael stared at the sight, feeling a quick pang of loss, then
excused himself to Master Yoda and left the room again. Though
he accepted Qui-Gon's present reality, his emotions would have
to adjust fully. He would come back soon, thank Qui-Gon for the
gift of his restored Force-sense, and then be on his way, back
to the Rim probably. Maybe this time, if he let go of his
feelings for Master Jinn at last, he could find a love of his
own even as he found the Force again. Maybe it was time he took
a padawan of his own...
Yoda only nodded thoughtfully, letting the Knight go. Then he
looked over to the corner of the room, looking straight at the
shadow form that he knew was only visible to himself and the
two on the bed, no other. [Vigilant, you are,] he sent
silently.
The Guardian turned to observe the child who stood silent and
calm by the side of the bed, clinging to Qui-Gon's hand,
staring earnestly at his slack face. [With that one in their
care, we should be,] the entity replied to the little master.
[The Dark wants that one very badly... we've sensed this since
our host first met the child on Tatooine. It may claim him
still... but not while we keep watch. The child is pivotal in
this time.]
The Council member nodded seriously. [The Chosen One he is...
but the balance promised will bring great evil. This we cannot
allow.]
[Evil and good are both part of the Force,] the Guardian
reminded Master Yoda. [The Jedi have long been champions for
good in the galaxy. Without a serious challenge you have become
weak, complacent. You have a great deal to lose.]
Yoda twitched an ear, disturbed by the revelation. [So we are
weak, you say? Complacent, are we?]
The shadow met Yoda's glare evenly. [Jedi must be prepared to
lose everything. This child... must learn to become nothing,
need nothing... then the Dark cannot get at him. Our host...]
he gestured toward the sleeping Jedi Master in the bed, [has
learned this. His beloved will know this soon, too. So also
already you, some others. The Order as a whole... you do not
trust the Force as you should. There will be loss. We will
gather many to ourselves, and here in this plane rebuilding
will take place.] He glanced at Anakin, who still watched his
masters avidly, caught up in a remarkable stillness. [The child
has the potential for tremendous good, leading the Jedi to a
new, fresh wholeness and union with the Force... or for
tremendous evil, causing great suffering among Jedi and many
other peoples.]
Yoda did not respond. The Guardian had described his greatest
fears... and hopes. There was a Sith Master out there, brewing
up great trouble for the Jedi. He had no doubt the Guardian, as
also the silent entity within himself, knew not only the
identity of the Sith, but could tell the Jedi exactly how to
defeat him. No matter - they could not ask the Force to defeat
the enemy for them.
The Jedi must be prepared to lose everything. Everything.
Obi-Wan Kenobi slowly rose from his healing trance an hour
later, feeling deeply peaceful. He kissed Qui-Gon's temple,
then gently touched his mind. [Master, wake up, beloved...]
The Jedi Master awoke to his lover's mental touch, sighing.
[Beloved, I am here... I feel restored. Did you...?]
[Yes, Master.] Obi-Wan reassured his beloved, stroking his hair
and bearded chin. [I knew your energy would return quicker if I
assisted your healing.] He noted the Guardian still at his
post, standing tall and silent, still watching. They were
otherwise alone in the room.
Qui-Gon opened his eyes and sat up, pulling away slightly from
his lover. Immediately he extended his arms to the sides, and
as Obi-Wan watched in amazement, the Guardian dissolved into
tendrils of mist that rushed to reintegrate with his host. Then
with a quick, hard exhale of breath, Qui-Gon rose abruptly from
the bed, spun around to face Obi-Wan... and looked straight at
him, the shock plain on his handsome face.
"Master?" Obi-Wan inquired of the elder's abrupt actions. Then
he saw his eyes.
"I can see," Qui-Gon breathed.
"I did not heal your eyes," Obi-Wan immediately replied,
equally shocked. "You did lose your eyesight?"
The Jedi Master nodded. "I felt it leave me as Jezrael was
healed, like water flowing down a drain until all was dark. No,
not dark, just absent... my eyes truly registered nothing, not
dark or light."
A flash of memory flickered through Obi-Wan's mind. "Master...
the Guardian told me - 'the offering of the gift is often
greater than the gift'. You made the offer, Qui-Gon. The
Guardian never intended you to permanently lose your eyesight,
but asked you to be willing to lose it. And so you were." He
stood up, looking into the deep blue eyes with wonder.
The Jedi Master inhaled sharply, nodding in understanding,
feeling the touch of power again deep within him, the touch of
the Guardian reassuring his host. Then he understood that the
balance the Guardian had spoken of only meant that as Qui-Gon
gave of himself, another would benefit... and to exchange one
terrible loss for another was not necessarily the will of the
Force. Qui-Gon felt suddenly happy.
He took Obi-Wan's face in his hands, gazing with awe at his
lover. "To never see this look on your face again... would have
been the only true loss. To never see your soul in your eyes
again... or the Light that steals away all that would threaten
my serenity..."
Obi-Wan could not bear to hear any more. "Poet," he accused
with a croak, his voice tightened from emotion. "Stop writing
poetry..."
[You are poetry,] Qui-Gon sent, pulling the Knight hard
against his body. [Somehow you have gotten to be half of my
soul, Obi-Wan.]
[I said, stop...] Obi-Wan tried to counter, but his mind was
ablaze with the sudden fire of his master's fervent love. [Oh!]
The Jedi Master reined himself in, though he hid his grin as he
released the other. [You did know you were loved like this?]
Obi-Wan shook his head, mute.
[How can I stop writing poetry with such inspiration, Padawan?]
Qui-Gon gently teased.
[Master...!]
[Later, my heart, later,] Qui-Gon sent. Then he reacted to
other things he sensed. "Anakin has been here... and Master
Yoda. Jezrael..." Suddenly energized, he snatched his robe from
a hook on the wall and was gone from the room before Obi-Wan
could more or speak any more.
[I forgot how fast he can move for a big man,] Obi-Wan found
himself remembering with a sudden smirk. With his own burst of
energy, he snagged his robe as well and departed after his
master.
Qui-Gon Jinn was already embracing the healed Knight out in the
waiting area; Jezrael evidently had still been waiting outside
for them. "Jez, we did it..."
The Knight hugged the tall Master back, but then, laughing, was
putting him off again. "You did it, Qui, and I'm very grateful
to you!" He waved Obi-Wan over as soon as he spotted him. "Both
of you... thank you very much," Jezrael added, then sobered. "I
apologize for my behavior... Force! To think I came at you with
a lightsaber..."
"Jez, do not think of that," Qui-Gon was hastily reassuring
him, an arm still around the man's shoulders. "That was not
you..."
"Nothing to apologize for," Obi-Wan replied, smiling, a hand on
his shoulder. "We're just glad you're going to be all right."
Jezrael shook his head, then gently backed off. "No, I mean
it... I'm horrified that I had been that crazy. Qui-Gon... I
wish to atone for that."
"That's not..."
"It is necessary," Jezrael countered solemnly. "When Jedi
attacks Jedi, things are grave indeed. I should be leaving the
Order..."
"Never," Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan said together firmly. "You were
not in your right mind," Obi-Wan added. "No one faults you for
behavior caused by an injury you sustained months ago."
"Qui-Gon," Jezrael addressed the elder, bowing formally,
"please allow me this. What can I do to repay you?"
More words of denial came to the Master's lips, but he held
still for a moment, thinking and feeling the pulse of the Force
within him.
[Beloved?] Obi-Wan inquired, sensing his master's hesitation.
[It would make him feel better, ease his mind. And make him a
stronger Jedi,] Qui-Gon replied, then bowed to the Knight, his
arms folded in his robe sleeves. "Very well, Jezrael, I accept
your offer of atonement." As Jezrael smiled his relief, Qui-Gon
suddenly knew what to ask him to do, feeling the Force
strongly, guiding his decision. "Return to the Outer Rim, go to
the planet Tatooine, Jezrael Rima. I cannot ask you to free all
the human slaves there, but I would be greatly relieved if you
could manage to free one of them. Her name is Shmi Skywalker,
and she belongs to Watto the Toydarian."
"Skywalker..." Jezrael breathed. "The boy..."
"His mother," Obi-Wan murmured. He, too, felt the power of the
Force in the request.
"I could not bring her out with him," Qui-Gon continued.
"Although as a Jedi apprentice he must sever family ties, he
would be greatly reassured if she were at least free."
"Indeed," Jezrael agreed, nodding. "I will do it, Qui-Gon. And
if I can do more, I will. I am happy to owe you that. Of
course, I have to relearn sensing the Force first. I can't say
I mind."
"The Force will be with you, Jezrael," the Master murmured,
smiling warmly at his former lover.
After they visited with Jezrael for another hour or so, they
left the Healers. Abruptly Obi-Wan found himself hard put to
keep up with his lover's strides as Qui-Gon's long legs gulped
up the distance between them and the Jehadranst or J'ranst for
short, the hall where physical training took place. He could
sense the coiled energy in his former master, and a need for
its release after the stresses of the healing.
Indeed Qui-Gon Jinn felt incredibly alive and focused, elated
with the return of his eyesight as well as the success of the
Guardian in healing Jezrael Rima. A part of him wished to
expend that energy in a certain manner in the privacy of their
quarters with his former padawan, but another manner was a
better release, he knew. Although he would seek an opportunity
to indulge in the other when expedient and when duty permitted.
There were seven levels or forms which constituted Jedi
physical training, the last three of which were specifically
combat forms, and the first two of which were strictly for
opening the mind and body for sensing the Force. The entire set
was called the Jehadra. The seven forms were the j'hi (open),
j'ho (sense), j'her (free), j'hun (fall), j'hohri (water),
j'hiddna (flight), and j'hevhral (thought).) A Knight must
master all seven. A Master may also master another two forms
that were exceptionally difficult - j'hammir (ecstasy) and
j'hrathar (essence) which employ a higher mental state and
telepathy.)
Normally the Jehadra was at least a daily habit for all in the
order. Twice daily was usual at the Temple, for students as
well as Knights and many of the Masters, but Qui-Gon had missed
all practice for two days now and he felt the need for it, as
the workout aided mental discipline as well. Obi-Wan, as a
Knight, had mastered the first seven forms as had been required
of him; the last two forms would take years, even decades to
develop, if at all, as they were exceptionally difficult,
particularly for Jedi of humanoid species, requiring telepathic
development beyond the reach of most humans. Qui-Gon had
mastered all nine before he was thirty, and had even developed
two more forms for his own use.
They sensed their padawan involved in his own training class
elsewhere in the J'ranst, learning the j'hi, the first form,
which concentrated on opening oneself to the Force. They sensed
no distress in Anakin, but they did sense the boy's peace and
clarity of focus, which they suspected reflected something of
their own mental state. All for the good, for it was critical
that Anakin learn to actively sense the Force as soon as
possible. He'd long reacted to the movements of the Force
within him without knowing what it was, without the awareness
so vital to the Jedi.
Arriving at an empty practice room, the two Jedi hung up their
robes again and took positions facing one another. "J'hun,"
Qui-Gon murmured, catching his student's glance, naming the
fourth form. It meant "fall", and involved managing the demands
of gravity upon the body.
Obi-Wan, as always, shook his head at his master's continual
insistence on innovation. "Master, that's not a good place to
start..." But he was nodding and shrugging, already knowing
what the other would say. "Which makes it the best place to
start, I know." He rolled his eyes at him. "Damn, you'd think
by now I'd be able to predict..."
"Padawan, barring foresight provided through the Force, there
is no prediction," the Master replied, amused. "The forms are
based on many things, including real life needs, one of which
is the ability to fall down in a manner that can be used, not
wasted. Levitation to ease a fall creates both a delay and a
waste of energy. And when you must fall, you are rarely warmed
up, which makes beginning with this form very sensible."
"Yes, yes, I know," Obi-Wan grinned at his lover's automatic
teacher response. "So was there something I did wrong at Naboo
to prompt this, eh?"
Qui-Gon's eyes glittered as he smoothly moved into the opening
stance for the form. "No. You did everything perfectly at
Naboo," he responded, his voice softening. It was a reminder
that it had been Obi-Wan's blow that struck down the Sith
apprentice. "Begin."
Abruptly Master and Knight began the form, which consisted of a
rapid series of leaps into rolling falls at the start, and
proceeded to get more intricate as their speed increased. As
Qui-Gon Jinn had done with many of the forms, they moved into a
variation that required two Jedi to complete. They used every
available surface of the room as well as each other to create
positions and heights from which to fall from, continually
varying and changing direction. It was quite complex, but as
they reached the end of the form, neither were breathing hard.
The j'hun was neither a preparation nor a combat form, but the
fifth form, j'hohri (water), was the first of the fighting
forms. Lightsabers were simultaneously ignited as they began
the beautiful fluid movements of the j'hohri. The intent was to
flow as water, so there was no point ever in which they
stopped, all body movements continual and flowing. The
difficulty was maintaining that perfect flow while continuing
to speed up, and of course to maintain the same while
manipulating a lightsaber. For this form, neither Jedi would
make contact - it was hoped - with the other's weapon.
Obi-Wan had always excelled at the Jehadra forms, but admitted
to finding this one harder than even the final two, which
involved more mental discipline. His Master, however, showed a
fluidity that he not only had to admire but that sorely tempted
him to deactivate his saber and simply indulge in watching him.
Qui-Gon Jinn made the j'hohri look effortless and indeed flowed
like water, even when they neared the end where their speed had
increased to surpass most human limits. To makes matters worse,
it would be dangerous for Obi-Wan to stop now, for the
variation in this form meant that they moved within each
other's space, bodies and lightsabers never in contact but
incredibly close. It took all of Obi-Wan's discipline and
strength to keep up with his Master.
When they stopped, facing each other once again, sabers crossed
but not touching, Master and Knight looked into one another's
eyes. A light sheen of sweat covered their faces and necks, but
still neither were breathing particularly hard. "You kept up
with me," Qui-Gon offered, breaking into a smile.
"You slowed down for me," Obi-Wan countered, giving him a mock
frown. "I hate when you do that."
"I don't want to hurt you," Qui-Gon smirked, knowing the
reaction his words would have.
"Sith!" the Knight exclaimed, laughing. "We're going to do this
again, and then you're going to let me watch you perform the
j'hammir." That was the eighth form. The j'hammir (ecstasy)
involved telekinesis as well as saberplay in which several
objects were maneuvered in their own trajectories about the
room, none of which could come in contact with each other or
the lightsaber.
The Master nodded in agreement. "You'll match my pace?"
"I'd better," Obi-Wan replied, then added silently, [I hate it
when you push me, even though I know it's good for me.]
[Then you're really going to hate this...] Qui-Gon retorted,
getting a glint in his eye that told Obi-Wan he was really in
for it. If he came out of this without a mark... no, he WAS
going to get marked, he knew. For all his youthful strength and
young muscles, he could not match Qui-Gon Jinn at his top
speed. The Master's age was more than adequately compensated
for by his communion with the Force, and Obi-Wan guessed that
now that the Guardian was actively in his life, this was only
going to increase. [Ready?] the Master added after a moment.
[For you? Never,] Obi-Wan replied, then dared to send a mental
caress.
Qui-Gon sent the same back in the instant he began the
exercise. Obi-Wan had been expecting to catch his master off
guard with that, but he faltered instead, feeling the heat of
his master's lightsaber on his face as he just missed making
contact with it. Abruptly he recovered, the shock of the near
miss shaking him back into his focus.
[Clear your mind, beloved,] came Qui-Gon's serene mental voice.
[Don't call me that, not now,] Obi-Wan managed to send back. It
had taken him a good five years after becoming Qui-Gon's
padawan to manage speech, verbal or mental, during one of these
exercises. He also hated to be talked to during a workout, but
his master insisted it was necessarily on occasion as an enemy
would have no compunction against trying to distract him that
way. Distractions were to be expected in the Jehadra.
[I will call you what I want to, my luscious little love,]
replied the Jedi Master.
Shocked, Obi-Wan did what he should have done the first time,
recognizing only too well that Qui-Gon was in a dangerous mood
- the Knight cleared his mind, ignoring the words, even the
word "little" which stung because of course Obi-Wan Kenobi was
only "little" in comparison to the over-sized Qui-Gon Jinn. He
knew Qui-Gon was purposely trying to distract him. Obi-Wan, his
discipline called back into play, settled into the exercise
with ease.
[Very good,] his Master returned a moment later, [you respect
my tricks. You have finally learned, Obi-Wan.]
[You said that to me three years ago. Of course we weren't
lovers then and you couldn't taunt me the same way as now,]
Obi-Wan threw back, keeping pace easily as they continued the
j'hohri. [Is this how it's going to be now?]
[Oh, I forgot to tell you, I'm teaching you a lesson,] Qui-Gon
replied. Despite the conversation, he wore no expression on his
face other than his usual calm.
Obi-Wan's face did reveal his concentration, his brow slightly
furrowed as he fought to maintain the brutal pace his partner
had already worked them up to. [This is not my idea of
foreplay, Qui-Gon,] he snapped, referring to when he'd asked
him to let him know before lovemaking if a "lesson" was going
to suddenly appear in the middle of it.
[No? I rather thought this had potential,] the Master teased,
then abruptly shifted to a significantly slower pace.
[The first time you pulled that on me, remember,] Obi-Wan said
as he automatically adjusted, his Force-sense alerting him in
time. [I ended up with a good burn on my forehead - I thought I
was scarred for the rest of my life.] He took a deep breath,
relaxing with the easing of the pace. Was the old man tiring?
[The old man is not tiring and I rather enjoyed healing that,]
Qui-Gon returned smoothly.
In seconds, the Knight saw only too clearly what his master
meant. The pace continued to change, getting incrementally
slower. It was another variation that Qui-Gon Jinn enjoyed
employing and one that often was as difficult as performing the
j'hohri at top speeds. Obi-Wan did not respond, resigning
himself to matching the smooth, slow pace of the other, knowing
that his master always slowed them down to near stillness,
which was hardest of all. Today was no exception.
They'd nearly stopped when the pace shifted again, and they
were off and moving with rapid, smooth movements, still fluid.
Now the Master did test the Knight, pushing him even faster,
reaching for his limits. The Force indeed moved like rushing,
swift water between them, enhancing already honed reflexes. The
blue and green lightsaber blades wove together in a
kaleidoscopic flurry, seeming to be many blades at once. Indeed
so fast were they moving that one could have wondered how many
bodies there were...
This time when it ended, they were breathing hard, again
staring into one another's eyes, though both were aware that
they'd closed their eyes sometime ago. The lightsabers were
shut off and lowered.
"What just happened?" Obi-Wan panted, wiping his face with his
sleeve.
Qui-Gon took a little longer to speak, catching his breath. "We
had help. Beyond the usual attenuation to the Force. That is
the only explanation to how I just surpassed my highest speed
and you matched it."
"You mean..."
The Master nodded. "The Guardian."
"But that only explains how you..."
Qui-Gon shook his head vehemently and laid a hand on his
shoulder. "I know you felt him, too - think about it, beloved.
Our minds were one, our reflexes one, and he joined with us.
This has happened before."
Obi-Wan was stunned to realize he did know. "The t'che, moving
as one... yes, and when we bonded with Anakin. You're right..."
He sighed, closing his eyes again. "I feel him still. But he is
within you, beloved."
"Check your shields." Qui-Gon told him.
There was one shield, held to adamantine firmness as when they
performed the Ritual together. Their personal shields had even
flowed, blended together. [And something else,] Obi-Wan
continued in the quiet of their linked mind. [Even though we
are so blended, there is the bond with our padawan learner...]
[Anakin sensed some of this, I know it, shields or no,] Qui-Gon
returned. [His Force sense is beginning to awaken. He has
mastered the first form and is well into the second. We must
warn him not to seem to advance too quickly...]
[Soon we must train him alone ourselves. He is going to pass up
all the other students. We will help him guard against letting
this go to his head, becoming too confident.]
[The Dark is strong and easily sways young minds. He must
become a lover of the Light...]
[Is that what we are, Master?] Obi-Wan opened his eyes to meet
his beloved's gaze. [Is that what is happening? Lovers to...
the Light?]
Qui-Gon had no answer. They had never heard of such a thing...
and Yoda, who possessed the only other Force-entity they knew
of, had not mentioned anything like this happening. Finally
Qui-Gon said, [A fate I would readily succumb to, especially
with you, beloved.]
Obi-Wan felt his throat tighten. He came into Qui-Gon's arms
when they opened to him. [I agree... I could die that kind of
death, beloved.]
The Jedi Master held his Knight tightly, then kissed his
forehead tenderly and released him, wiping his face as they
were both fairly soaked through. [The j'hammir...]
[Tomorrow.] Obi-Wan caressed his lover mentally and then by
mutual consent they separated from their merge. Both men were
eager to set aside the esoteric in favor of more mundane. Like
food. Neither had eaten all day.
[Tomorrow,] Qui-Gon agreed as they walked together to get
cleaned up... and dried off.
A certain padawan learner was also getting cleaned up after
physical training class. Anakin was hard pressed to keep a grin
off his face. He'd done well this afternoon, exceptionally
well, completing mastery of j'hi, the first form, and getting
fairly well along on the second one. The Knight trainer had
praised his concentration... and he'd managed not to get any
other students mad at him. Of course, they were all much
younger, but soon, hopefully, he would be catching up to his
own age group. Nevertheless, Anakin Skywalker felt good,
exceptionally clear... and he couldn't wait to see his masters,
tell them of his success.
Emerging at a dead run from the J'ranst training facility,
Anakin plummeted straight into Master Eeth Koth, who had been
waiting to see him. "Ow!" he exclaimed, then seeing who it was,
recovered quickly, abashed. Hastily he bowed. "Master Koth,
pardon me..."
"Attend to the moment, Padawan Anakin," Koth said mildly,
returning the bow. "You seem to be attending the future,
instead, in your haste to get there."
"Yes, Master," Anakin replied, shaking his head. "I know
students aren't supposed to run in the Temple. I was just so
excited, I guess..."
"Shh, Padawan, I said to attend to the moment... calm
yourself." Koth touched fingertips to the boy's shoulder,
steadying him.
Anakin closed his eyes, obeying. He tried to settle his
excitement, but it didn't seem to be working. Frustrated, he
shrugged with impatience.
"Do you sense your masters? Concentrate on their presence in
your mind..." Koth instructed him, watching intently.
The boy focused instead on what he thought was the seat of his
bond with his teachers. Then with a sigh he smiled, nodding. "I
can sense them, I think. They're here."
"You see, Padawan?" Koth explained kindly, "you were rushing
off to find them and you had but to check your bond with them
to find them already close to you."
Anakin opened his eyes and grinned. "You're right, Master Koth.
I'm not used to this bond thing, I guess. It's pretty amazing,
though."
Koth folded his arms again in the sleeves of his long, dark
robe. "You are on the verge of sensing the Force actively,
Padawan," the Master said quietly. "You feel the sensations but
are as yet unable to read it, let it guide you. Tell me - how
do your masters seem to you right now? What do you think you
are sensing from them?"
The boy considered for a moment, then something else came to
him suddenly. "During the class, when I was starting the j'hi,
I felt a surge of power that I think came from them..." He
closed his eyes, settling into his sensing though he was barely
aware of doing so. "They were surprised and... happy because of
it. Harmony... I feel a great deal of peace and harmony from my
masters. They know I passed my j'hi. They feel a great deal of
awe from something they're sharing that I can't see yet, it's
too soon. They..."
Anakin took a deep breath as he paused. Koth stared at him in
wonder, then knelt before him and laid his hands gently on the
boy's arms. "Tell me, Anakin, what about them?" [The boy is
deep into his first true sensing,] the Master thought. [The
bond is sure. But what was that surge of power from his
masters?]
"They love the Light, Master Koth, and hope I will come to love
it as they do so that the Dark cannot get at me," Anakin
murmured. The Master now recognized that the boy was not aware
of what he was saying, that this was the Force was speaking in
him. "The Dark wants to find me, wants to use me, and we cannot
let that happen. Great harm may come... but great good may also
come from me. I must study and meditate and train hard and
dedicate myself completely to the Light so that I cannot be
turned. The Dark is close, so close, and it already knows of my
potential..." He trailed off, frowning, his eyes still squeezed
shut.
Koth glanced beyond the boy, seeing that Qui-Gon Jinn and
Obi-Wan Kenobi stood a few meters away, listening with as much
amazement as he. He gestured for them to come closer even as he
reassured the boy. "The Dark cannot get you here, Anakin," Koth
murmured and gave the boy's arms a gentle squeeze. "Your
masters will guard you and guide you closer to the Light."
"But it sees me," Anakin sighed. "And it's so close. I don't
know if I can stop it, Master. It already has so much power. I
have so much to learn and I need time..."
"Shhh, Ani," Qui-Gon murmured as he knelt and took the boy from
the Council member, wrapping his long arms around him. "Come
back to us, Ani, let the vision go... there is no Dark here.
Only those who love you. Come back, Ani..."
Anakin awoke from the Force-induced trance to find himself
dizzy and steadied within the firm embrace of his tall master.
"Master, sir... I'm sensing you... I can sense the Force now, I
think," he murmured, unaware that anything unusual had
happened.
"I know, Ani," Qui-Gon whispered, holding the child close. "Now
you are one of us... now you are Jedi."
"Jedi..." Anakin echoed, a happiness bubbling up within him.
"YES!" He hugged the tall Jedi Master back hard, then reached
for Obi-Wan, who came down to his level also and, grinning,
exchanged a hug with his padawan as well.
Qui-Gon straightened to his full height, meeting Koth's glance.
[What does he mean 'the Dark is so close', I wonder?]
[I can't help but think,] Koth returned silently, [the Sith on
Coruscant?]
[Considering the present chaos in the Senate, that isn't an
unreasonable assumption...]
[Force help us...]
[Fortunately...]
"Master Koth, would you like to join us for nightmeal?" Obi-Wan
asked as he stood up, a hand on Anakin's shoulder. He glanced
quickly at his master. [I heard.]
"No, thank you, Knight," Koth said, bowing with a small smile.
"I shall be on my way. Padawan, congratulations on mastering
the j'hi."
"Thank you, Master Koth," Anakin replied, beaming as he bowed.
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