When I told him I loved him

by Angel of death

Title: When I told him I loved him

Author: Angel of death (aka_baka_13631@sbcglobal.net)

Archive: Yes

Category: Qui/ Obi, Romance, First-Time, Point of View

Rating: PG

Warnings: None that I can think of…

Summary: Qui-gon and Obi-wan come to grips with with their feelings for each other.

Feedback: Yes!!

Qui-gon’s Point of View:

I looked at him and saw my world. My life was sitting next to me. My beautiful Obi-wan. On our way to meet with Queen Amidala and escort her back to her home planet of Naboo, I knew my time left was short. I had to tell this beautiful man that I had spent my entire life searching for that I loved him, before it was too late. I knew that I had hurt him. When I had stood before the council and told them that I would take Anakin as my Padawan learner I saw that look of pain on his face, the utter shock at my words. However, it was far too late to take back my words. I had just slapped the only man I have ever loved across the face and there was no changing that. The council denied me and for that I was extremely grateful. We had not said a word to the other since leaving the council chambers. I could feel his pain and sadness resonating through our bond. I had never seen Obi-wan so sad and hurt by something I had done, except for maybe the events on Bandomeer many years ago. We arrive at the platform to meet the Queen, as we exited our transport he turned to me and said,

“It was not my place to disagree with you about the boy. But he’s dangerous, the council can see it why can’t you?” he looked at me with indifference, something I thought I would never see in those beautiful blue-green eyes. All I could say to him was,

“He is the chosen one, Obi-wan. I see that and that is what I believe. Now, however, is not the time, we must worry about the Queen’s protection and unmasking this evil Sith.”

“Yes, Master,” I saw the sadness in his eyes for a brief moment as he entered the ship with Anakin. I greeted the Queen and escorted her onto the ship. After boarding the ship I headed to Obi-wan’s quarters. Before I dared to knock I made sure that he was alone in the room. If I was going to confess undying love for my Padawan I wasn’t about to do it with an audience. He was in fact alone; I could sense that he was drowning his frustration in a book. I knocked lightly to announce my presence though I’m sure he already knew that I was there. He opened the door and allowed me to enter, the book in his hand as he buried his face behind it. After I entered he returned to where he was sitting and continued reading. I sat on the edge of his bed.

“Please stop reading that book Obi-wan and look at me,” I said after a few moments of silence. He did as I asked and turned to look at me. I knew deep down that I was the last person in the entire galaxy that he wanted to be near right now. But in that moment I didn’t care. I needed to tell him how I felt. I needed to tell him how much I needed him in my life.

“I need to talk to you about something important,” I said lightly.

“About what Master?” he asked looking at me questioningly with those bright eyes.

“I don’t quite know how to tell you this. Obi-wan, I love and have loved you for the longest time. I love you more than I have ever cared to admit and I am now willing to tell you this, because I feel that I have been unfair to you by not telling you,” I said it with every ounce of my being. I had said it and there was no taking it back, not that I wanted to or ever would.

“Master, I… I never thought that I would hear those words. I dreamed of this happening…” he smiled at me. Those words hit me and I was in complete shock. He cared for me too. It explained why he was hurt so deeply by my words in the council chambers, he thought that I had cast him aside and no longer cared for him. How wrong he was.

I stood and walked the few step between us and he stood to meet me. I then took the chance to place my hands on his cheeks and I pulled his mouth to mine. It was the best thing in the world. At that moment time stopped and I felt my soul mix with his. And as that soul bond was created we continued to kiss each other as if our very existence depended on it. Our hands explored each other and I could feel the amount of love radiating through our bond. It was hotter than liquid fire. Clothes were coming off like mad and within minute we were down to only our leggings and the little bit of sanity we had left. I slowly maneuvered him over to the bed and pushed him down onto it. I took that short break to remove my hair tie and chuck it onto the pile of clothes that had accumulated on the floor. It didn’t take long before both of us were crying each other’s names out in pleasure. In that moment we swore to each other that no matter what happened we would take care of the other.

Now ten years later I am glad I told him I loved him. If I hadn’t I think that I would have died there on Naboo. But who knows…

Obi-wan’s Point of View:

When will I tell him? I know that the Council does not approve of Master/Padawan relationships, but I do not think that I bear to wait until my knighting day to tell Qui-gon how much I love him. I get these thoughts so often, yet a solution to my dilemma has not presented itself. When the Naboo mission came our way I was going to tell him when we were done. However, when we stood before the council and he told them that he wanted to take Anakin as his Padawan learner; I felt beyond betrayed. I felt my heart rip and the pain was so deep; I did not let the pain show on my face, at least I tried not to. On our way to the Queen’s ship I wanted to say something, anything to end the uncomfortable silence that had come between us. But I just couldn’t bring myself to speak to the man who had just broken my heart. No, not broken, shattered it. When we finally exited the shuttle I just had to open my god damn mouth. I spoke before I could stop myself from doing so.

“It was not my place to disagree with you about the boy. But he’s dangerous, the council can see it why can’t you?” as soon as the words had left my mouth and I had realized what I had said I felt so stupid, I just wanted to crawl into the closest corner and die. However, Qui-gon just looked right back at me his stubborn, stupid, brash, and expendable apprentice and said,

“He is the chosen one, Obi-wan. I see that and that is what I believe. Now, however, is not the time, we must worry about the Queen’s protection and unmasking this evil Sith.” To this I merely looked at him and answered with a casual ‘Yes, Master’ and boarded the ship with Anakin leaving Qui-gon to greet the Queen and her group alone. I went to my room and Anakin went to go and wait for Padme in the dining area.

In my room I found my favorite book on ancient myths and sat down to read instead of think about the huge pain in my chest. As I was getting to the good part my favorite story about the birth of the Greek gods there was a knock at my door. I got up, book still in hand, to let the person in. I wasn’t expecting that person to be my master and let him enter as I continued to read the book. He came into my room and took a seat on my bed, intently looking at me.

“Please stop reading that book Obi-wan and look at me,” he implored after he had settled down on the bed. I obliged and placed the book on the table next to me. As I turned to look at him the pain in my chest started a new. At this moment he was the last person I wanted to see, let alone talk to. Yet, at this point in time, I don’t really think that he cared.

“I need to talk to you about something important,” he said lightly almost a whisper, so quiet I had to strain to hear him.

“About what Master?” I asked trying not to show the immense pain on my face. What was he going to tell me? Did it have to do with what he said in the council? So many questions raced through my head I didn’t have time to even acknowledge most of them.

“I don’t quite know how to tell you this. Obi-wan, I love and have loved you for the longest time. I love you more than I have ever cared to admit and I am now willing to tell you this, because I feel that I have been unfair to you by not telling you,” at those words coming from his mouth I almost cried. Instead I smiled as I attempted to put together a coherent sentence and failed miserably. He stood and walked over to me rather quickly, I stood from my chair waiting to see what would happen. The kiss that followed was pure bliss. With that kiss our souls became one and we were soul mates to the end of time. If one died the other would perish and I was beyond okay with that. Everything that happened after that moment felt like a dream. I didn’t know if it was real until we landed on Naboo and I realized that what happened on the ship hadn’t been a dream at all, but the sweetest reality.

Now even ten years later I am still in love with this man and would never trade him for the entire galaxy. He is perfect in every way. I will be happy to live and die in his arms and know that I am at home and safe, forever.

El fin