Disclaimer: um Boots doesn't exist, I'm not Boots, Boots is
insane and really deserve to die!!!! Just don't sue me,
Please!!!!!!!!!
Warning: Like myself, my stories are
psychologically/grammatically challenged. It'll probably offend
everyone. Tiny bit implicit underage.
Summary: Obi-wan suffers selective amnesia and falls prey to a
very wicked Master an ICU story.
Boots' stories - striving to 'intellectually squick you'[TMI
questionnair]
Qui Gon listened to the clamor in the common room. Of Obi-wan
dressing Anikin, feeding him and chasing him out to go to his
classes. Anikin, persisting in having the crusts cut off his
sandwiches. Anikin, slapping big kisses onto Obi-Wan. Anikin
tottering into Qui-Gon's bedroom. The boy gazed down at the
Master composed neatly in the center of the bed, arms folded on
his chest...dead to the world. Like a little thief, Anikin
stole a kiss on Qui-Gon's check. Who snapped awake and caught
the boy into his arms, surprising delighted squeals out of him
and smooched him back. Handing the boy back to Obi-wan, he saw
glimmers of joy in his former- apprentice's eyes.
Ahhh... Qui Gon relished in his happy façade as he sank
down before his com Panel. He had memorized the directory and
typed it with a flourish into Electronia, linking himself
instantly with millions of like-minded masters around the
galaxies. The directory was ggg.apprenticeperve.sockii.com
There were new 'true story confessions' heaping up in his mail,
some more manipulated images of Padawans taken in the dining
hall with food items digitally removed and certain masters'
body parts pasted on in their stead. And Boom! Clash! a new ICU
identity was online, the nick read Sexy_Sidious.
Sexy_Sidious: Hey there Jinnie! Wanna see under-aged teen
apprentices and pathetic life forms, real life, real hot?
Jinnie_on_the_Bottom: Would I!!!
And together, they electronically held hands and skipped into
Yoda's hacked Padaporn accounts.
"Qui Gon...would you help me with these lecture notes?" a weird
cultured/*fake* accent crept up from behind him.
With Jedi reflexes, Qui Gon clicked out of the first draft of
his new slash story "Yousa Goin Down!"
"Why of course, Obi-Wan," he turned around calmly. "What is the
topic?"
"The Code and its interpretation of the Master-Padawan
relationship," Obi-Wan said. "I thought you'd be perfect to
help me on the parts concerning Self-Restraint and Platonic
Love." //You Heartless Old Bastard!!!//
"Why, I would be honored," Qui Gon smiled, letting his lustful
blood rise to his cheeks, just so, and turning the azure
particles in his eyes to Hyper-stun. "...Padawan."
Obi-wan turned away so abruptly, his rising erection was only a
blur as he ran out the door.
//Still got it!// Qui Gon ran a pleased hand through his well
conditioned hair and returned to his AU epic, where a certain
master rescued a certain sissy lizard creature and was repaid
in kind...very kind...through a life debt.
Obi-wan and Anikin were sweating profusely in the training
room. Anikin from learning Elementary Katas - For Short
Initiates and Obi- wan from chasing the boy and re-tying his
Padawan braid every time it lost its regulation shape. Qui Gon
watched with pleasure as they moved about the room, thin
work-pants transparent with perspiration and movement, hands
gripping lightsabers, mouths opening and shutting with
breathing and commands... WHOA! Qui Gon gathered his robes
around him and ducked behind some gymnastic equipment.
The 'force' in this room was especially delicious, full of
physical exertion and pheromones. Qui Gon tried to break a
little record of his own behind the Jumping Bantha Box and was
so caught up in himself that he did not hear Obi-wan say
"That'll be all for today, Ani. Why don't you go wash up and
I'll pack up the gear."
"Master!!!" Obi-wan's shocked cry seared into Qui Gon's mind
even as he climaxed.
Qui Gon raised his free hand over his face, trying to shield
his shamed face from Obi Wan, his eyes squinting at the glaring
gaze.
Obi Wan took in a deep breath as he looked over his flinching
master, whose eyes were unfocused, his hand waving about madly,
his dick slowly flagging.
"It *does* make you blind?!" Obi Wan gasped.
"No...no..." Qui Gon managed to say. "Please...please help me
up."
Instinctively, Obi-wan extended a hand to his former master.
Only to squelch EEWWWKKK! When a lot of semen went SQISHHH
between the palms as he pulled Qui Gon to his feet.
"I'd like to explain this," Qui Gon finally managed to say.
"Over dinner, at the Jedi Bar."
The mid-night blue sign said "A Galaxy Far Far Away" in
twinkling Milky-Way designs. Obi-wan hesitated at the door and
tried to pull the force around him to foresee the future. After
all these years of being ignored, he had thought his master was
way too old now for even a decent erection. Yet, what he saw
this afternoon was quite impressive... So why had Qui Gon never
come onto him?!
For a milli-second panic sparked in Obi-wan, more frightening
than the Dark Side ten-fold... ...Was he *not*
The-Sexiest-Padawan-In-The- Known-Universe?! Opening his
wallet, he pushed a button and a mini holo of the said trophy
won in his thirteenth year projected reassuringly in the dark
street. At the same time Yoda's voice beamed in as desirous a
timber as when he originally presented Obi-Wan with the award
before the council "Turn us ALL on, you do, sexy boy!"
But just to make sure, Obi-wan passed a few dark alleys as he
approached the Jedi Bar. As expected, by the time he was at the
door, a string of tall men with gray and brown bespangled hair
had been lured out of the dark corners and lined up to try
their one liners.
"Would you like to handle my lightsaber?"
"Would you like your lightsaber handled?"
"Would you like...ber...han...my...ggghhhhaaaaa?"
Leaving them at the door with contempt and new confidence,
Obi-wan went inside to look for the real Qui Gon. Wearing
un-ironed robes, slumped over a Pink Spider with Kokas
sprinkles, candy trillions and millions and a yellow umbrella;
Qui Gon played with the x-wing on his novelty straw. //what a
sight// Obi-wan sighed //That slouch, the sullen eyes, the soft
mouth behind the untidy beard...awwww...I just wanna wrap him
up and jump his bones!//
"Master," he put his hand over the older man's elbow and
tenderly drew him away from the drink. "That sugar is no good
for your dentures."
"Oh let them rot!" Qui Gon shook his head, his undone hair
temporarily blinding Obi-wan then settling into a messed heap
around his shoulders.
"Don't do this to yourself," Obi-wan's throat hurt as he tried
not to whimper at the pain Qui Gon emitted. "It's not worth
it!"
"Oh, but it is..." Qui Gon gingerly lifted an index finger and
touched the supple golden cheek of the caring boy.
//How did he know that was my most hidden, most
responsive estrogen zone???!!! For the Garrah people, the
cheeks were the male clitorises. Oh, right, he taught Alien
Anatomy...mmmmmmm...//
"Obi-wan..." Qui Gon licked his parched lips. "I am...in
love...with what is forbidden. I am a gross and perverted
man..."
"You're in love with Bant?!" Obi-wan turned ice cold.
"Eeewwww!" Qui Gon said. "I'm not sick like Mace Windu is!!"
"Forbidden?" Obi-wan strained his brain trying to take a second
guess.
"Use the force, Obi-wan." Qui Gon helpfully suggested.
"Okies," Obi-wan closed his eyes and concentrated, as he
usually did when he had to do the laces of his own boots.
(author chuckle...my name, my name!...sorry)
// I am in love my Padawan!//
"OH master!" he finally sighed and melted into Qui Gon's arms.
"I would love to..."
"Yes, but the code..." Qui Gon let more helplessness flood
across their link.
Deep down inside he was so grateful to his ICU friend Sexy
Sidious...the plan was working great! And even though it wasn't
exactly what he had in mind, Obi-wan would make a perfect
trophy amongst his conquests.
"...but the Code has loop holes..." Obi-wan muttered into his
ear. "...like article no.E54 line 3...and we are conveniently
close..."
"but..." Qui Gon protested weakly.
"shhhhh..." Obi-wan put a finger to the full, luscious, curving
lips.
And asked for all the alcohol that would make them legally
intoxicated and therefore no longer answerable to the
no-padawan- master-spanking part of the Code, under loop hole
Getting-nookie-from- Obi-okie-when-drunkie. Something, Yoda had
forced the senate to pass after an unfortunate breach on the
eve of a certain beauty contest.
They stumbled into Obi-wan's quarters, dipping tongues down
each other's throats after smugly disclaiming to all they
passed in the corridors "You taste totally drunk Obi-Wan!" "You
taste like you can no longer be held responsible to your
actions Master!!" Finally they rolled on Obi wan's bed and had
wild, force-enhanced, hyperspace- sublime sex.
//so young...//
//so innocent...//
//oh, I am such a BAD Master//
Obi-wan wallowed in Qui Gon's mental broadcasts as they pumped
rumps like there was no tomorrow. Like Amidala and Anikin one
day would. Like Windu and Bant did down the hall. Like Panaka
and Jar Jar. Like Han and the exhaust of the Millennium Falcon.
Like Luke and Leia. Like Sidious and his clone Senator
Palpatine. (Insert your own sick inventions) But so much more
faster, harder, Jedi passionate...You get the idea.
The orgasm swelled and exploded, sending them into an oblivion
of eruptions... Obi-wan felt Qui Gon's dirty mind talk withdraw
from his mind and then...UTTER SILENCE as he slammed back into
his own body. In his breast, Qui Gon `came' and went, huffing
and his eyes squashed shut and groaned loudly "Oh, ANIKIN!!!"
With the greatest horror, Obi-wan realized he'd forgotten he
was no longer Qui Gon's Padawan.
THE END
-Obi slaps author, Author slaps Qui Gon, you sick, sick man!-
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