Master Apprentice Archive Riding the Wheel of If: Episode Thirty
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Riding the Wheel of If: Episode Thirty

by MrsHamill (thamill@cox.rr.com)



Archive: By Master & Apprentice, my site (http://darkpine.net/HiddenRealm/mm/mh.html), and SithChicks
Pairing: O/Q
Category: Alternate Universe
Rating: NC-17 for the series; this episode rated NC-17
Disclaimer: I am not now, nor have I ever been, George Lucas. To the best of my knowledge. But there was that period in Margaritaville after I lost the salt...
Warning: Massive spoilers for TPM (like we all don't know what happened THERE).
Summary: Another universe for Obi-Wan (sounds like a soap opera, neh?).
Notes: ...and what a long, strange trip it's been.

I'd like to thank the members of the academy for nominating me for this award, as well as my most loved listsibs (you know who you are!) for nagging and praising me unmercifully during the production of it. Massive thanks and love go to Emrin Alexander for always being there for me, even when I insulted her cat; Hiperbunny for telling me no when I asked her to write this dang saga and for telling me to shut up and keep writing when I wanted to stop; RavenD for being an exquisite artist and nag; and all the wonderful authors and artists who contributed -- in one way or another -- to this thing. Let us also not forget George Lucas and the estate of L. Sprague DeCamp for not suing me; Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Ray Park, and Xanatos (whoever he really is) for being incredibly sexy guys that I would dearly love to encounter in a dark, warm alley in China, preferably all together; and the bottlers of ICB Root Beer for product placement.

Last, but by no means whatsoever least, I have to say something about the Alpha Beta of Wheeldom, Fox. But I don't know what to say, really. If it hadn't been for her, this would probably not have been written, and definitely not written as well. "Thank you" is totally, insipidly inadequate. This has been your child as much as mine, Babe, and it's about time everyone knew it. I love you, you know.

I don't suppose you'd take my first born as payment, maybe?



Earlier that evening:

Qui-Gon reached out, took Obi-Wan's face in his palms, bent to kiss him. It was a sweet kiss, full of love and longing and regret, and Obi-Wan found himself drowning in it.

Qui-Gon pulled back. He stroked a thumb over Obi-Wan's brow. "You will find him, Obi-Wan. And when you do, he will not love you despite your scars. He will love you because of them, as I do."

He let go and took a step back, letting his gaze travel once more over Obi-Wan's face as if to memorize it. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you," Obi-Wan choked. He closed his eyes, fighting his grief and a fearful reluctance to let go and jump once more into the unknown. After a moment he found his center again, shaky as it was. He pressed the switch.



Now:

Night on Coruscant wasn't exactly night... not dark anyway. The glow from millions of buildings housing billions of beings; the air traffic constantly moving across the atmosphere at carefully-regulated heights; all of it meant that the mere lack of sun did little to dim the planet.

Obi-Wan Kenobi stood at a window of the Jedi Temple and stared sightlessly out at the never-still vista. Behind him, he heard Yoda and Mace Windu murmur quietly to each other as they cleared the table of the remains of dinner and poured tea. Master Yoda's gravelly voice finally drew him out of his reverie, and he turned away from the cold back to the warmth of the room, taking the tea offered to him.

The three of them settled themselves as comfortably as possible in Yoda's sitting room. The carefully neutral expressions on the two Councilors' faces met the utterly empty expression on the young Knight's. The only indication of Yoda's reaction was a slight drooping of his ears as he studied the soul-hurt young human who sat across from him.

After exchanging a brief glance with Yoda, Mace Windu cleared his throat. "You've told us much of your travels, Obi-Wan; how long have you been -- on the road I guess would be a good way to put it?" he asked softly.

"Just about two years now," Obi-Wan answered, equally softly, sipping his tea. "I rarely stayed more than a few days in any one reality, so you can imagine how many I've been to."

Nodding gravely, never taking his eyes from the young man's, Yoda said, "Long time, this is. Much, you have seen. Much, you have endured."

"Yes, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan replied, his voice rigidly controlled. "Can you tell me a bit about this reality? Do I -- exist -- here?"

Another glance between the two Councilors, and again it was Windu who spoke. "Yes, you, well, you did exist here. Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi died many, many years ago."

"Ah." Taking another sip of tea, Obi-Wan studied the minute trembling in his fingers curiously. "And Qui-Gon Jinn?"

"My Padawan, Master Qui-Gon was," Yoda said blandly. Or as blandly as the little Master could speak. "Tell us, please, what set you upon this road."

Debating with himself on whether to call the diminutive Master on his blatant change of topic, Obi-Wan finally decided he just didn't care. "It was the death of my Master, Qui-Gon," he said after a few moments. He put his tea on the table before him and launched into the tale. He didn't miss the look that flashed between the two Masters at the words 'Naboo' and 'Trade Federation.'

Mace Windu interrupted his tale before he got to Tatooine. "There's someone else who needs to hear this," he said to Obi-Wan apologetically. "Please, let me call Knight Fellis before you continue."

Puzzled, Obi-Wan consented readily, then settled back in his chair as Windu rose to make the call. Yoda continued to regard him, wise glowing eyes never leaving his face. Still mostly numb from the last reality, Obi-Wan sat calmly in place, lost in memory.

Knight Fellis turned out to be a young female humanoid. She was tall; her golden-brown hair was still growing out from a Padawan's cut, and dark circles ringed her lovely brown eyes like bruises. Her aura was one of exhaustion and sorrow, and she clearly didn't appreciate being summoned away from wherever she had been, something she made plain as soon as she walked into the apartment.

"Sit, you will. Have tea," Yoda told her, turning his sympathy away from Obi-Wan to the young woman.

"Master Yoda, thank you, but I really need to get back..." she began, her voice raw and strained by the same exhaustion that showed on her face.

"Sasha," Windu said, taking her arm and gently forcing her to sit, "please, rest here. Loral is stable. The healers know where you are, and you do him no service by destroying yourself waiting for him to recover."

Scrubbing her face with her hands, the young Jedi Knight allowed herself to be nailed into place with cup and saucer, sipping gratefully. "I--I know, but I need..."

"Rest, you need," Yoda interjected gently. "And food. Obi-Wan Kenobi this is, a tale to tell you he has." Turning to Obi-Wan, Yoda completed the introductions. "Knight SaSalasho Fellis. Recently returned from a dangerous mission, she has."

Nodding shortly to the other Knight, Fellis sipped more of her tea, her tired eyes meeting Obi-Wan's incuriously. "Very well," she sighed at last, indicating her willingness to stay and listen.

Uncertain of what was happening around him, Obi-Wan looked to Mace Windu for guidance. "Please, Obi-Wan," the dark man said, taking a seat by the woman, "begin again. Tell us everything about your mission, from the moment you left Coruscant."

Beginning to understand, Obi-Wan began with their trip to Naboo aboard the Chancellor's shuttle. By the time he had gotten to the point where the shuttle was destroyed and the conference room filled with gas in an aborted attempt to kill the Jedi by the Trade Federation, Knight Fellis was sitting up straight, her tea forgotten, her eyes wide.

"H-how did you... wait a minute," she gasped. "That wasn't... I haven't even given my report yet! How did you know that?"

Taking her teacup from nerveless fingers, Windu said gently, "He knows because he went. In his universe."

Nodding, understanding now, Obi-Wan said, "Yes. That's true. My Master and I went to Naboo in my universe... I'm not from this dimension."

Her mouth still gaping in shock, Fellis stared at the sad young man who sat across from her. "This is... this is incredible. I don't... I can't..."

"Calm, Sasha, calm," Windu said softly, rubbing the young woman's back soothingly. "So everything Knight Kenobi has said happened to you?"

"Everything," she murmured, still in shock.

Obi-Wan shook his head, rather shocked himself. "Amazing. That events could parallel so... Did you rescue the Queen?"

"Y-yes," she stammered. "Loral and I -- and that idiot Gungan -- we managed to get her out of Theed and blasted away from Naboo..."

"But your hyperdrive was damaged, and you had to put in somewhere to fix it," Obi-Wan interrupted, nodding, glad he was able to discuss the events dispassionately. "Did you go to Tatooine?"

Frantically, Fellis grabbed her cup and took a big gulp of tea, trying to get her breath and body under control. "Tatooine. Yes. We went... oh Force..." she moaned. As Windu rescued her cup again, she rubbed her temples.

"Then you must have come back with Anakin," Obi-Wan continued. "The Chosen One." Yoda looked up sharply at his bitter tone, but Obi-Wan didn't elaborate.

"Ani? Yes... Loral felt a disturbance in the Force as soon as we landed in Mos Eisley. It took us a while after we purchased the drive parts to find him..."

"Wait," Obi-Wan interrupted again. Windu and Yoda were beginning to feel as if they were in a handball game. "You didn't land in Mos Espa?"

"No," she said, "we landed in Mos Eisley. We found a dealer who would sell us the parts we needed, but Loral didn't want to leave until he had tracked down the feeling he had." She shook her head wearily. "I argued with him, but he was adamant. Oh gods...!" she cried, and Windu pulled her in for an embrace, to Obi-Wan's surprise. "If only I had argued harder with him..."

"Sasha. Padawan," Windu said, firmly taking her face in one large hand. "It wasn't your fault. Let it go. Loral will be fine."

A puzzled look to Yoda had the wizened green Master explaining to Obi-Wan. "Master Windu's Padawan Knight Fellis was. Bondmate, she is, to Master AmKaRa. Went together on this mission they did."

Comprehension dawning, Obi-Wan nodded and turned back to the distraught Knight. "Ah. Let me guess... you were attacked before you left. By a dark-robed creature who had red and black tattoos on his face, and who wielded a red lightsaber."

Not looking up from her embrace with her former Master, Fellis sighed. "You know that too, then."

"Yes," Obi-Wan smiled without mirth. Looking at the two Councilors, he continued. "His name is Darth Maul. He's a Sith." Three gasps met his pronouncement. "Oh, there's more. He's apprenticed to the Sith Master, Darth Sidious. And there's more than one Maul floating around too, probably, since Sidious had him cloned, at least once."

Reeling from these revelations, the other three Jedi looked between themselves, dumbfounded. "I-- I can't believe the Sith... they've been extinct for a millennium!" Windu's voice was choked and he hugged his former Padawan tightly to his chest. She was trembling violently.

"They said that the first time too," Obi-Wan said, his voice low. "But I assure you, he is a Sith. I've met him, several times. And his Master, Darth Sidious? He's also known as Senator Palpatine of Naboo."

Yoda's gimer stick fell to the floor with a thump. Mace Windu's mouth sagged open in shock, and Fellis appeared to be in a daze. Had the situation been less dire, or had Obi-Wan felt less detached, he might have laughed at the careering emotions he felt from the three Jedi he faced. But the events of the last month had left him feeling numb and uncaring. All he wanted to do was give his warning and leave this reality, move on. Keep moving.

"H-hard to see, the dark side is," Yoda stammered, and Obi-Wan smiled at the flustered state the diminutive Master appeared to be in.

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan agreed. "I never had a clue, and I had met the man several times before I started on these journeys."

Tears pouring down her face now, Fellis sobbed, "But we -- I left the Queen with him! Her and Anakin! And Loral almost died!"

"He's going to make his move tomorrow, or the day after at the latest," Obi-Wan said. "He'll get the Queen to move for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum. Once she does that, he'll get voted into the seat, and he'll be virtually untouchable. You'll have to get to Amidala now, tell her the story. She's a bright girl -- she'll understand."

"But... how?" Windu said, still shakily holding his former Padawan. "We can't let Palpatine know..."

"Send a message to Panaka, her Captain," Obi-Wan suggested. "Ask him to bring the handmaiden Padme to the Temple, in secret, and send a car."

Utterly confused and completely exhausted, Fellis asked in a deadened voice, "Why Padme?"

"Because Padme is really the Queen," Obi-Wan explained. Fellis closed her eyes in surrender at this latest revelation as Obi-Wan continued. "One of the other handmaidens takes her place as a bodyguard, and under all that makeup, who can tell? But Padme is the name she uses when she's in disguise. Panaka is a smart man -- he'll understand the reference."

At a sharp look from Yoda, Windu disengaged himself and hurried to the dataset. "You'll need to keep Ani here too, to keep an eye on him," Obi-Wan continued to Yoda. "Palpatine would love to get his hooks into that boy, and believe me, you cannot allow that." Yoda nodded in understanding. "But the important thing is to keep Dala -- I mean, the Queen -- from initiating that vote of no confidence. Palpatine cannot be allowed to get the Chancellor's seat."

Nodding, taking a deep breath to find his center, Yoda told the young Knight, "Stay here you will. Talk to the Queen you will. And to one other." Shaking his head, his ears drooping but his eyes unable to contain a flash of excitement, Yoda continued. "No coincidences, there are. Brought you here to do this, the Force has."

Smiling somewhat sourly, Obi-Wan said, "As you say, Master."



Yoda stood with his companion in a small room, staring at a monitor. The screen showed Mace Windu, Knight Fellis and another Knight talking with Queen Amidala, dressed in her handmaiden's orange gown, and Captain Panaka, in a small conference room.

The Queen and her Captain had been surprised but not too displeased that their deception had been seen through by the Jedi. Amidala had greeted Fellis warmly, inquiring after her bondmate's condition before taking a seat and being introduced to the strange Jedi Knight. It didn't take long for her and her Captain to be utterly flummoxed by what the young Knight had to say. The monitor was on when they entered the room, in the middle of the conversation, and Yoda had hushed his companion's questions until the other man had become absorbed -- almost against his will -- in the unfolding drama.

They watched as Amidala leapt to her feet and began to pace. "I can't believe it. I can't believe it!" she cried, her voice thick.

"Believe it, your Highness," the young Knight said firmly. "Palpatine is a traitor, not only to your people, but to the rest of the Republic... the rest of the galaxy. He must be stopped. You cannot give in to his request for a vote of no confidence."

"But I had no intentions of doing it," Amidala nearly yelled, resting her hands on the table before the Jedi. "Yes, we had talked about it. But Valorum has been our staunchest supporter within the Senate. I could not..."

"It will appear to be the most logical step to take," Windu murmured. "But you must hold fast."

Amidala shook her head and, with a vicious movement, ripped off the cowl to her costume. Her freed hair cascaded down her back as she paced in confusion and distraction. Panaka spoke up. "Are you sure of this, Jedi? I mean, we don't even know you ..."

Fellis interrupted him gently. "His story is true, Panaka. He knew things about... about what Master AmKaRa and I did that no one -- no one -- could have known. And the Jedi have ways to determine lies, you know."

"Then how is it you didn't know about Senator Palpatine until this person told you?" Amidala demanded, coming to a stop before Fellis.

'This person' she was referring to snorted in wry amusement. "I've asked myself that question more times than you can imagine, Dal -- I mean, Highness," he said. "Believe me in that. Master Yoda says the Dark Side is hard to see... well, I have first-hand knowledge that this is so."

"You can trust him, Padme," Fellis said softly, taking the girl's hand in her own. "Like you trusted me. And Loral."

"Just don't -- whatever you do -- don't call for that vote," Windu said earnestly, looking between the young Queen and her Captain. "We'll take care of it from this end."

"But my people," Amidala said softly, fighting back emotion. "They -- they could be dying."

Patting the hand still held in Fellis', the sandy-haired Knight said, "It will work out, Highness. It will. Don't worry."

Seeing that the meeting was about to break up, Yoda reached out and snapped off the monitor. "Seen enough, have you?" he asked the man standing next to him, craning his neck to see into his face.

Blue eyes soberly regarded him. "Amazing," was finally whispered. "Simply astounding." Then, in a harsher tone of voice he continued. "But I am not going, Yoda."

Yoda turned and made his way out of the small room. "As you say," he replied, in a voice that sounded suspiciously like a cackle.



It was very late, after midnight, when Amidala and Panaka returned to the Senator's quarters. Obi-Wan scrubbed his face with his hands wearily, then smiled to see Mace Windu so solicitous of his former Padawan.

"Come on, Sasha," he said, helping her to her feet and embracing her. "Let's get you back to the infirmary. I asked Healer Du to set up a cot for you. You need to sleep."

"Thank you, Master," she whispered, returning the hug. When they broke apart, Windu kept one arm about her shoulders, as much for comfort as physical support. Fellis gave Obi-Wan one last, weak smile. "Please come down and meet Loral, when... when..."

"When he's better," Windu filled in for her. "He'll be fine, Sasha. You'll see. Come now. Thank you again, Knight Kenobi," he added, nodding and smiling tiredly at the young man.

"You're welcome, Master," Obi-Wan replied, bowing to them. "And I will come meet him, Sasha," he added.

He collapsed into a chair as the pair left the room, bracing his face in one hand. He was tired, bone-weary exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to sleep. Better yet, to move on. This was not his fight. None of it was, any more. He had destroyed the main threat here, and in the other realities, now all that was left...

//All that's left is nothing,// he thought bitterly to himself. //Nothing, nothing, nothing. I should have stayed with Maul. At least there, I was loved unconditionally.//

Even as he thought that, the door opened behind him and the unmistakable sound of Master Yoda entering the room came to him. "Someone to meet you, I have," Yoda said, as Obi-Wan sighed, turned and hauled himself to his weary feet.

Only to stagger back and nearly fall over. "Qui-Gon?" he whispered.

Standing next to Yoda was Qui-Gon Jinn -- looking exactly as he had before he had died at the hands of Darth Maul on Naboo. He had a puzzled, somewhat suspicious expression on his face. "Do I... are we acquainted?" he asked finally, obviously wracking his memory as he studied the face before him.

Yoda's eyes narrowed as he stared between the two men. "Master Qui-Gon Jinn," he said finally, "Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Qui-Gon froze in the act of extending his hand, then pulled it back as if burned. "WHAT?" he nearly shouted, his face suffused with anger as he rounded on Yoda. "Oh, that's enough," he growled, backing towards the door. "Dammit, my Padawan is dead, Yoda. Dead and burned. And I have had quite enough of your attempts to..."

"QUIET YOU WILL BE."

Stunned by Qui-Gon's words, Obi-Wan was even more surprised that such volume could come from Yoda's small body. Qui-Gon obviously was, too, as he fell silent, still seething.

"Sit, you will." It was not a request, and it was aimed at both of them. On opposite sides of the small conference table, they took seats. Yoda climbed into a third, then regarded the two men; Qui-Gon angrily, and Obi-Wan apologetically.

Finally, he turned back to his former Padawan. "Heard story you did," he said. "Obi-Wan Kenobi this is -- from different reality he is. Knows about Sith he does -- knows many things about this mission he does. Of dire importance this mission is; told me so the Force did. Cannot return; injured is Master AmKaRa. Go you should, you and Knight Kenobi. Return proof of the Sith you can."

"No." Qui-Gon's voice was harsh. He sat still, frowning thunderously into the air, refusing to look at either being in the room.

"Reject mission you cannot," Yoda insisted.

"No! I will not go!" Finally Qui-Gon met Yoda's eyes. "You've prevented me from leaving the Jedi; you've kept me a virtual prisoner in the Temple; you've hounded me for the last twelve years. I won't take another mission, I won't take another Padawan, and I wish by all the little gods in the galaxy you would STOP TRYING. Leave me ALONE, Yoda!" Qui-Gon stood so rapidly his chair fell over backwards. Ignoring it and the two still seated, he swept from the room, leaving Obi-Wan breathless.

"Hrrumph." Yoda's ears were down and his eyes were slitted, but Obi-Wan recognized that expression and shivered.

"Master Yoda," he said at last, reluctant to have that icy regard turned to him. "I don't really understand what just happened, but to say truth, I don't want to go to Naboo either. I've given you my warning, helped all I can; all I want to do now is move on."

Yoda's gaze was just as cold as the Knight thought it would be. For a long moment, they sat in silence, then finally Yoda spoke. "Stay with me you will, tonight. Feed you I will in morning -- meditation we will share. Then, if move on you must--" he sighed theatrically, and Obi-Wan had to suppress a small grin-- "move on you shall."

"Thank you, Master Yoda."

"Hrrrumph."



Early the next morning, the sun just a glow beyond the high walls surrounding the topiary garden, Qui-Gon Jinn sat on his knees in one of his favorite gardens. His cloak was covered with the dew that had risen overnight while he meditated. Even though he had been there all night, his mind was still in turmoil.

Obi-Wan Kenobi. It simply couldn't be. Obi-Wan Kenobi was dead. Xanatos duTelos was dead. He was a failed Jedi, a failed Master, a useless, worthless excuse for anything who couldn't even keep a Padawan alive, much less un-Turned. It was impossible.

Struggling with his demons, Qui-Gon not only didn't notice he had been kneeling in the topiary garden all night, but it took him some small while to register the soft voices he heard, coming slowly closer to him. He finally determined one voice to be his Master's, and the other...

Suddenly angry, he tried to stand to get away from the little green troll. All he managed to do was fall over to his side, his knees refusing to unlock from their torture of the night before. Stretching his long legs out painfully before him, he massaged them and tried not to listen when he heard his name being discussed by the two people he least wanted to see or hear this morning.

"...to Qui-Gon? You told me the other me was dead here -- how did it happen?" That would be the gorgeous, golden young man who claimed to be his dead Padawan, Qui-Gon thought viciously.

"Twelve years ago, accident it was," Yoda answered. //Hardly an accident,// Qui-Gon snarled silently. //I killed him.// But Yoda was still talking. "Contracted durian meningitis, he did. Untreated, it went, until too late it was."

"But... but I had that!" //By the gods, his voice is lovely.// "I was, Force, fourteen or fifteen, I guess." Fingers slowing in their massage, Qui-Gon closed his eyes in pain -- but not from the cramp in his muscles. "But I don't remember it making me that sick. I felt bad for about a week, and spent two or three days in the infirmary."

"Not dangerous, if treated quickly it is," Yoda patiently explained. //Or if not an idiot the Master is,// Qui-Gon muttered in his head. "Without transport they were, and not until too late was the treatment started. Very sad for all of Temple, it was." //Little gods,// Qui-Gon thought with some surprise, //the damn toad actually sounds like he means it.//

"Poor Qui-Gon," the other said softly. Qui-Gon ruthlessly suppressed his emotions. "But what did he mean, about being a prisoner?"

"Tried to leave the Jedi, did my Padawan," Yoda growled. Qui-Gon smiled without mirth to hear it. "Refused, we did. Great Jedi, Master Qui-Gon is. Blamed himself for Padawan's death, he did. Idiot, he is."

A muffled sound from the other Jedi that Qui-Gon deciphered as a stifled chuckle surprised him, and his eyes flew back open. "Yes, he can be a bit hard-headed at times," the young Knight said, and Qui-Gon was further surprised to hear the profound sadness in his voice. "But I understand his reasons. He's an adult. If he wants to leave, you should not stand in his way, Master." Blinking, Qui-Gon went numb from shock at these words, so mildly spoken to his aged Master.

There was silence from the other glade, and Qui-Gon could see all too well the look his Master must be giving the other man. The other man... Obi-Wan Kenobi. Knight Kenobi. //The same beautiful eyes,// Qui-Gon mused. //The same strength of will. Oh, my Padawan...Could you really be the boy I let die?//

"...your concern, it is not," Yoda was saying, his voice as mild as Kenobi's had been, to Qui-Gon's surprise. "My concern, and yours, this mission should be."

"Master, I've told you. It's not my fight. I've given you all the information, I'm sure you'll be able to do it without me. I -- I need to move on."

"Why?" Yoda asked bluntly. //Never let it be said my Master is tactful,// thought Qui-Gon with a wry smile.

"I just do. And I fail to see where that's your concern." //That's my Padawan,// Qui-Gon chortled in his mind, //don't let the little troll get to you.//

"My concern, all Jedi are. Jedi who have been hurt especially." Qui-Gon froze, and heard the sharp intake of breath from beyond the bushes. "Hurt you have been, yes?"

"I just can't fool you in any reality, can I?" Kenobi finally said, softly. His voice was so full of pain that Qui-Gon winced. After a few moments' silence, he spoke again, his voice low and toneless. "There... there were some bad places. I--I was taken. By the Sith. For several months, I was tortured, brutalized, raped --" Qui-Gon winced again-- "you know the drill. I managed to escape -- finally. I've made discoveries, about myself, about others: found out some things... had some painful revelations forced upon me. And I've met some people. Met... him. And lost him. Over and over and over again."

"Ah." //Met who?// Qui-Gon thought frantically. //Lost who?//

"Yes." There was silence for so long Qui-Gon wondered if they had left without his knowing it. But finally, Kenobi -- Obi-Wan -- spoke again. "Master Yoda, I've lost faith. There's a hole in me now where I ought to be, used to be. It's empty. All I want to do is move on."

Hearing a rustle, Qui-Gon interpreted it as Yoda moving closer to the young, clearly pain-wracked Knight. "Trust in the Force, you should," his Master said softly.

"I can't!" It was nearly a wail, and nearly broke the heart Qui-Gon thought he had lost, all those years ago when his last Padawan had died. "The Force... it promised me a home. But it's been so long, Master. So... so very long. I don't think I'll ever see it. I don't think it exists any more."

There was muted sniffling as Obi-Wan brought himself under control again. Cramping legs forgotten, Qui-Gon listened desperately, almost forgetting to breathe in his need to hear. "I've felt love, Master. With him... With Xanatos and with Maul, even. He's actually a good man -- they both are." Eyes widening, Qui-Gon really did forget to breathe. "And every time... every time I've been happy, been content, the Force has ripped it away. Every time! I -- I just can't do it any more. I'm sorry."

Another long silence, and Qui-Gon forced himself to breathe again. "Meditate, we should, together," Yoda finally said softly. There was a rustle of cloth, and then the deep, even breathing of two beings descending into trance. Once he was certain they were under, Qui-Gon silently rose and left the garden, his thoughts full.

He did not notice the sharp, speculative eyes following his back.



Obi-Wan swam up out of meditation feeling more centered, if not more serene. Opening his eyes, he met Yoda's and smiled gently. "Thank you, Master," he said. "I think I needed that."

"Hrrumph. Needed it we both did," was Yoda's reply. "Still determined to leave are you?"

Looking down, Obi-Wan sighed. "Yes."

Yoda shook his head, his expression telling Obi-Wan how vexed he was with him. "Very well. Favor I have to ask of you. Testing is today, of young Skywalker. Meet with Master Windu and tell us of him, please?"

Sighing again, Obi-Wan forced a weak smile. "Certainly, Master. He's an important link in the chain of events."

"Good. Back to my quarters, then. Fetch Master Windu I will. And Knight Fellis."

Yoda rose and stumped off, leaving Obi-Wan by himself to make his own way back to the Master's apartment. //Just as well, since I've got to get my backpack too,// he thought to himself, unfolding out of lotus and heading back into the Temple. //Damn, I wish I had some root beer left.//

The door to Yoda's apartment had already been keyed for Obi-Wan, so it opened to his touch. He was met with a blast of sound from an agitated Qui-Gon.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you, you little..." Stopping in mid-tirade, Qui-Gon suddenly realized who he was yelling at. His mouth snapped shut. "I'm sorry," he finally said, his face flaming, "I thought you were Yoda."

Also nonplused, Obi-Wan looked away from the tall man. "He's... he's on his way. Went to get Master Windu. Wanted to discuss Naboo a bit more."

"Oh." Separated by the length of the apartment, both men still felt it was too close. "I -- I thought you were leaving." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Qui-Gon was kicking himself. //Please don't ask how I knew that,// he thought, desperately trying to keep his expression neutral.

He needn't have bothered. Obi-Wan wouldn't look at him. "Soon. I promised Master Yoda I'd go over the facts one more time."

"Oh."

For himself, Obi-Wan was painfully aware of Qui-Gon's presence. Just months before, he would have been hoping and praying that this reality would be 'the one', the last one, his home with Qui-Gon. //Burned one too many times,// he thought to himself sadly.

The uncomfortable silence lasted until the door opened again behind Obi-Wan, admitting Yoda and Windu. Both stopped in astonishment at the sight of Qui-Gon in Yoda's apartments. "Padawan," Yoda said levelly.

"My Master," Qui-Gon acknowledged stiffly. "Hullo, Mace."

"Qui. You're looking well," Windu said blandly.

Obi-Wan fought a severe case of the giggles over the strained situation, not even knowing where it came from. Struggling to get himself back under control, he watched as Yoda and Windu took seats. Coming to a decision, Qui-Gon pulled himself back up straight. "Well. I'd best be..."

"Actually," Windu said, "I was planning on calling you about this anyway. Since you're here... You're more familiar with some of the stranger prophecies than anyone I know. Can you give me your opinion on something?"

Warily, Qui-Gon studied the big Councilor. "All right," he said slowly. "What?"

"It's this boy, the Skywalker child that Sasha and Loral brought back," Windu said. "I know you haven't met him. But the reports have been... odd."

Qui-Gon swallowed hard, his suspicious look never fading, but finally rose to the bait. "Odd... how?"

"Well," Windu said, pouring tea from the cozied pot on the table, "his mother claims he had no father. And his midichlorian count is one of the highest ever recorded." Sitting back, sipping his tea and carefully not looking at Qui-Gon, Windu continued. "Loral and Sasha both detected him, as soon as they landed on the planet; he created almost a heat-sink of Force energy."

Intrigued despite himself, Qui-Gon walked closer to the two seated men. Obi-Wan still stood, frozen, by the front door, watching the exchange with his emotions and thoughts detached.

Looking askance at Windu, Qui-Gon merely growled, "Go on."

Glancing at Qui-Gon out of the corner of one eye, Windu spread his free hand. "What's more to say? Doesn't any of this sound familiar to you?"

Clenching his jaw tightly, Qui-Gon said, "The Chosen One."

Nodding, Windu sipped his tea. "It does sound fam..."

"Anakin is NOT the Chosen One." The three other Jedi in the room looked up in surprise at Obi-Wan's interruption. "I know, I know, you--" he pointed at Qui-Gon accusingly -- "thought so before, but I know better now. He's not. He is, however, unbelievably talented and very useful to the Sith."

Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed. "The Chosen One... the one who would bring balance to the Force. Whatever that means."

"The only way he'd bring balance is to increase the strength of the Dark Side," Obi-Wan argued. Then he stopped, blinking and surprised at his own words. "Maybe... maybe that's what it meant?" he muttered, beginning to pace before the door.

"Encountered him, have you, in other realities?" Yoda asked.

"Yes, Master, I have. He's often been a pawn. A powerful pawn, but a pawn nonetheless. To the Jedi; to the Sith. Maybe I'm wrong and he is the Chosen One."

"That would depend on your interpretation of the text," Qui-Gon said levelly. "What does it mean 'to bring balance to the Force'? How would anyone go about doing it?" He turned to Windu. "Where was this boy found?"

"On Tatooine. Sasha and Loral found him while escaping from Naboo," Windu answered.

"And he'll be instrumental in winning Naboo back from the Trade Federation," Obi-Wan said distractedly, his mind elsewhere.

"What?" Windu demanded. "How?"

Jerking himself back to the conversation, Obi-Wan moved to perch on the arm of the sofa on which Master Windu sat. "He managed to get himself into one of the Naboo fighters, which was slaved to the others that had gone to destroy the droid control ship. My Master told him to stay put and by the gods that's what he did. His was the only one to break through the shielding. He single-handedly destroyed the control ship."

"You're joking." Windu's face was shocked.

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan said, "No, I couldn't joke about that. Scared me half to death when I found out about it."

They sat in silent shock for a moment until the door chime rang, signaling Knight Fellis' arrival. Obi-Wan was once again lost in thought and didn't see the narrow stare Qui-Gon directed at him.

"Hello Padawan," Mace said to the young woman, embracing her and kissing her cheek. "How's Loral?"

Knight Fellis looked much better after a night's sleep, though she was still pale. "He's improving steadily. The healers say he could come out of bacta shortly."

"Excellent. Come sit down, let me get you some tea. You remember Knight Kenobi? And do you know Master Jinn?"

Fellis smiled briefly at Obi-Wan, then blinked and turned wide eyes to Qui-Gon. "M-my goodness. It's wonderful to meet you, Master Jinn," she stammered.

Qui-Gon smiled tightly in return but didn't say anything. "We were just discussing Anakin Skywalker," Windu told her. "He still needs to be tested, my dear."

"Yes, Master, I know," she replied. "And I know he's terribly old to be taken as a new Padawan. But Loral felt..."

"Determined the fate of young Skywalker will be after his testing," Yoda broke in. "Fetch him to Temple you should."

"I've sent for him already, Master," Fellis acknowledged. "He'll be here for noon meal."

"Good, good," Yoda subsided back down to his small chair.

"Obi-Wan here was just telling us he doesn't believe Anakin is the Chosen One," Windu continued.

"The Chosen One?" Fellis asked, puzzled. "I heard him say that before. What in the stars is that?"

"It's a prophecy," Qui-Gon unexpectedly spoke up, "from the Second Diaspora. It refers to the 'one who will bring balance to the Force'. He or she will be selected, chosen, by the midichlorians themselves."

Frowning, Fellis looked at her former Master. "I thought the midichlorians were just another way of referring to the Force?"

"Well, that's true, Padawan," Windu answered slowly. "In a way. This Skywalker boy appears to fit the bill, but Obi-Wan disagrees." Windu smiled at the young Knight before continuing. "At least, I think he disagrees."

Obi-Wan grinned wryly back before speaking. "The whole thing is just too ambiguous for words, actually," he said. "I thought I understood... maybe I don't. Having been on the short end of the stick with the Force a little too often of late, perhaps I'm a bit biased." Yoda's eyes narrowed at the bitter tone in the Knight's voice, and Qui-Gon gave him another penetrating look.

Fellis looked thoughtfully between the men in the room. "Does this mean that Ani will be taken as a Padawan or not?" she finally asked. "Loral has said he'd gladly apprentice the boy."

Yoda and Windu exchanged looks before Yoda spoke. "Determined, young Skywalker's fate will be, after testing," he insisted. "But keep him from the Sith we will. However necessary."

"I suppose that's all I can ask for," Fellis acknowledged gratefully. "He should be arriving shortly. Should I bring him here or to the Council, Master?"

"Take him to the healers' wing first," Windu replied, rising with his former Padawan. "Make sure you feed him first... human boys at that age? My guess is he'll be starving. We've arranged for a Council meeting for the second hour after midday. After that, I'll bring him to you. I know where you'll be," he finished, smiling.

Nodding and sketching a bow to the others in the room, Fellis left. As she did so, Obi-Wan rose and moved thoughtfully over to the windows, gazing sightlessly at the cityscape beyond the glass. Behind him, he could hear Windu and Yoda talking quietly, discussing the possibilities of Anakin's status.

There was soft movement behind him; a scent and aura as familiar as his own enveloped him, causing his stomach to clench painfully. Refusing to turn or acknowledge the other's presence, he remained where he was.

"Their intent is dragooning you into this mission, you realize." Qui-Gon's soft voice floated into his ear. When Obi-Wan didn't respond, he continued. "After what I've heard... well... I can't say as I blame them. You ought to go."

"You're a fine one to say that," Obi-Wan responded, equally softly, incapable of turning. "Yoda tells me you've rejected more missions than you've accepted over the years, and taken none at all lately. What makes you think you have the right to encourage me to do anything?"

Silence was his answer. Behind them, he still heard Yoda and Windu discussing Anakin; faintly, through the glass, he heard the scream of the wind. Eventually, he also heard Qui-Gon's rueful voice. "I guess I deserved that."

Not deigning to answer, Obi-Wan continued his blind perusal of Coruscant. Yoda called out softly, "Master Qui-Gon."

Hearing the older man turn and move away, Obi-Wan finally managed to break his paralysis. One hand came up to rest against the glass as he listened to the conversation behind him.

Yoda spoke, his voice no more harsh than usual. "Seen much in this matter you have. Understand, you do, the importance of this mission. Ask you again I will. Return to Naboo Master AmKaRa and Knight Fellis cannot. Take over this mission, the Jedi request of Master Qui-Gon Jinn."

There was dead silence in the apartment for a long time, while Obi-Wan fought to contain the emotions bubbling up inside him. //Not my fight,// he reminded himself. //Nothing is, any more. I've done what you've asked of me, Force, now dammit just leave me alone!// He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the Force compulsion he felt building around him.

Qui-Gon's voice, when it finally came, sounded strangled, forced and odd to everyone in the room. But his words were clear. "Very well. I'll take this mission... on the condition that Knight Kenobi also accept. If he doesn't go, I will not either."

Obi-Wan buried his face in his hands.



"Yoda has a way of bending everyone to his will eventually," Qui-Gon said, reaching his hands out, then slowly assuming a different pose.

"It doesn't seem to have worked with you," Obi-Wan pointed out levelly, mirroring his actions.

Shrugging, Qui-Gon said, "Eventually can be a long time coming." Despite his light words, his tone had a bitter echo that Obi-Wan couldn't miss.

They were doing poses and katas in one of the smaller gymnasiums, and for the life of him Obi-Wan could not remember getting there. He did remember, all too well, the overwhelming pressure of the Force to get him to accept the mission to Naboo, and his near migraine when he had tried to resist that compulsion. The two Councilors had suggested meditation or exercise, and he had eagerly latched onto the latter -- not even realizing, as Qui-Gon led him to an unused gym, that he would be alone with the big man.

Attempting to throw himself into the serenity of exercise, Obi-Wan tried to ignore the incongruity of the situation. He did not want to think about being alone with Qui-Gon, or even what he had been asked to do here. He spared himself a brief flare of regret that he had destroyed Palpatine's device, thinking that perhaps he could have gone back to a different, friendlier reality.

"Why are you wearing two lightsabers?" Qui-Gon's voice broke through his self-defeating thoughts, wrenching him back to the present and the situation.

With a start he realized he had left the 'switch' 'saber attached to the back of his belt. Dropping out of the kata, he stood straight and pulled it off his belt. "This one... it's not really a 'saber. Well, it is, but it's not. It's... it's how I move. From reality to reality."

Shaking his head in confusion, Qui-Gon continued his kata. "I'm afraid I don't really understand all that," he said slowly. "I heard your explanation, the one you gave to the Queen, but it really doesn't make a lot of sense."

"Ask Yoda to explain it," Obi-Wan said tonelessly. "He understands it better than I do anyway." He still held the 'saber in his hands, contemplating it closely. //All I'd need to do is press the switch, ignite it,// he thought, watching dispassionately as his thumb moved closer to the button. //I could leave. Now, before I get hurt again.//

Time froze, except for the minute movement of his thumb ever closer to the switch. Suddenly, a large, familiar hand interposed itself into his sight, laying itself atop his own hand. "We've...I think we've warmed up enough. Would you like to spar a bit? A little more vigorous exercise?" Qui-Gon's voice was soft and reluctant and he withdrew his hand as rapidly as he had extended it.

Not looking up, Obi-Wan continued to study the lightsaber in his hands, but ceased thinking about igniting it. Finally, he turned and walked to the side of the gym. Placing the 'saber on one of the small benches, he drew his other one. "All right," he said softly, returning to the center of the room.

Qui-Gon nodded shortly and ignited his own 'saber, dialing it down to sparring strength. He assumed a ready position, and by unspoken agreement, they began to dance.

Sparring for Obi-Wan had always been a form of meditation, something he could lose himself in and merely rejoice in the comfort of the Force. It was harder to do so this time, but he did finally find himself sadly enjoying the encounter. The parry, thrust and leap of battle with the man whose style was as familiar to him as breathing proved to be its own balm to his wounded soul.

Until he recognized the cadence of their fight. Somehow, he had managed to channel the last battle in the Naboo powerplant. Once he realized that, he allowed his body to take over while he analyzed the situation, as remote from it as he could be. //The last time I sparred with Qui-Gon,// he realized after a moment, //this is what we were learning. How to parry that last stroke.// With that sudden insight, he once again took conscious control of his body and followed the fight through to its natural conclusion, luring the older man into an over-extension on an overhead parry, striking his chin hard and then slamming home with his suddenly deactivated 'saber.

They held the tableau for a long moment, Qui-Gon stunned and shocked, Obi-Wan staring at the lightsaber pressed against the bigger man's chest and panting from exertion. Finally, Obi-Wan said softly, forcing the words past a reluctant tongue, "You're going to have to learn that parry if you want to stay alive on Naboo."

Obi-Wan watched as Qui-Gon swallowed convulsively and slowly relaxed, deactivating his 'saber and rubbing his bruised chin thoughtfully. As the young Knight brought his own arm down and turned away, head and shoulders drooping, he heard the softly spoken words, "Teach me. Please."

Obi-Wan froze in place. What to say, what to answer: his mind tore itself apart with possible rejoinders. He wanted to shout yes... to embrace the man behind him wholeheartedly and promise to be there for him forever. He wanted to run away and hide in the deepest, darkest hole he could find in the universe.

Finally, he settled for saying, "As if I have a choice?"

But that wasn't what he'd wanted to say at all.



During noon meal, they were summoned to another conference room. Captain Panaka was there, his darkly handsome face an interesting study. "She's done it," were his first words to Obi-Wan as the young Knight entered the room, followed closely by Knight Fellis, still chewing her lunch. Panaka waved a datacrystal around, then handed it to Mace Windu to be played on the room's dataset. "He pushed her, but she held fast. I came here as soon as I could get away."

The crystal held a copy of the Senate proceedings, where Queen Amidala was introduced. The Jedi, including Knight Fellis, watched as Palpatine introduced the young Queen, as she began to speak, and as the Trade Federation tried to steal the floor.

"I object!" The Neimoidian bellowed over Amidala's speech. "There is no proof! This is incredible. We demand..."

"Demand all you want, you damn fish, you're finished," Fellis muttered darkly under her breath. Windu shot her a look of combined sympathy and censure, and she subsided.

The recording was obviously made from within the Nubian pod, as Palpatine's asides to Her Highness were clearly picked up. When Chancellor Valorum was drawn aside by his aides over the point of order, all in the room clearly heard Palpatine's murmur to Amidala, and it was apparent that he was attempting to goad her into a rash action. Fellis clenched her fists in rage.

"The point is conceded," Valorum finally said, sounding defeated. "Will you defer your motion to allow a commission to explore the validity of your accusations?"

"I will NOT defer," Amidala said firmly. "I've come before you to resolve this attack on our sovereignty now. I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee."

The camera picked up the slight frown on Palpatine's face as Amidala stopped there, lobbing the ball into the Chancellor's court but not taking it any further. He obviously expected her to say more, but her face, under the layers of makeup, was closed.

Valorum's aides were whispering to him again, and angrily he cut them off. "The Representative from the Sovereign System of Naboo maintains the floor," he said loudly. "Although the point is conceded, Queen Amidala's point is also valid and worthy of discussion. If you will not defer to a commission, then will you defer to the courts? Do you have proof of this invasion to give to the Senatorial Judge Advocate General's office?"

Palpatine was murmuring urgently in Amidala's ear again. "You said it yourself, Your Highness," the recording picked up. "The courts take longer to decide things than the Senate. Are you sure of this course of action?"

The look Amidala gave Palpatine, out of the corner of one heavily-made-up eye, could have frozen the Jundland wastes of Tatooine. Chastened, the Senator withdrew.

"I would be happy to provide first-hand witness reports of this unauthorized and ill-advised invasion; including those from the Jedi who also suffered at the hands of the Trade Federation during this illegal operation. I'm certain that even the Trade Federation can hardly question the honesty of the Jedi, even as they so apparently doubt mine."

The Neimoidian representative of the Trade Federation did a remarkable imitation of his pescine ancestors at that point, as he gaped and fumbled for words. Valorum's eyes met Amidala's and some sort of understanding passed between them. He struck the gavel sharply before him. "Very well. The motion is deferred to the courts for action; it is NOT tabled, and remains active before this august body. I declare this session in abeyance and request that all in attendance stay nearby and on-call." Once more, he struck the table before him, then quickly made his way off the platform, followed by frantic aides.

The recording ended there. Panaka collected his datacrystal with a wide and purely goofy grin on his face. "I've just come from being deposed," he said, tossing the crystal in the air and catching it. "Her Highness is still there. Our pilot, Ric Olie, and the handmaidens are waiting in line. She requests that Knight Fellis also come over."

Fellis' grin was positively feral. "With pleasure," she said. "Now? Or do we wait?"

Before anyone could answer, a Council aide appeared at the door. Spotting Mace Windu, he hurried over and whispered in the dark man's ear. Whatever he said clearly amused the Councilor, as he began chuckling. He turned to Qui-Gon. "Well, my friend," he said expansively, "looks like you're definitely involved now. There's a man to see you in the lower garden... an old friend of yours. Finis Valorum."



Things continued to go very quickly after that. Knight Fellis left to check on Anakin, whom she had left eating lunch with a fresh-from-bacta Master AmKaRa. The boy already considered the wounded Jedi his Master, and was relieved to know he was doing better. Chancellor Valorum entered the conference room and met not only with Qui-Gon, but also Yoda, Windu, Captain Panaka and Obi-Wan, to his surprise. His surprise turned to icy anger and disgust when he found out about Palpatine, and he promised to provide all the help he could muster.

"Not too much help," Obi-Wan cautioned. "Things have to proceed normally. We can't afford to let him get suspicious, or we'll lose our chance to get him, legally and permanently."

"Oh, we'll get him all right," Valorum promised, his jaw clenching. "I can't believe that back-stabbing son-of-a..." Qui-Gon's snort of amusement brought him out of his tirade, and he smiled somewhat sheepishly at the tall Jedi. "It is rather nice to be able to say what I really think sometimes," he admitted wryly.

"What concerns me most is the droid army," Panaka mused, fingering his datacrystal distractedly. "Her Highness has told me she wants to go back to Naboo, right away, to fight... but we can't hope to defeat that army."

"You won't have to," Obi-Wan said reluctantly. All eyes turned to him again, and he sighed. "Amidala is probably already thinking about it. The Gungans can set up a diversionary attack while a small force takes the Palace and the Viceroy. The droid control ship..." Obi-Wan trailed off, frowning. He did not want to take Anakin back to Naboo. It was simply too dangerous. But without the boy, how would the droid control ship be disabled?

"How can we convince the Gungans to fight on our behalf?" Panaka asked, puzzled. "There's not a whole lot of love lost between them and the Naboo."

"Jar-Jar can do it," Obi-Wan said, his mind still on the puzzle of the control ship.

Panaka snorted, and Obi-Wan came out of his reverie. "That's a lovely thought, except the idiot got himself pasted on Tatooine."

"What? Jar-Jar's dead?" Obi-Wan blinked in surprise. Although it made a certain amount of sense...

Knight Fellis entered the room in time to hear that question, and sighed in tired amusement. "That poor, silly frog... He went with Loral while Padme came with me to search for the parts we needed. Loral said he only turned his back on the creature for a few minutes, but apparently that was all the time needed. He's a puddle of orange goo now, in Mos Eisley." She shook her head, sadly. "Didn't really surprise me. I've never met anyone so incapable... and so really unlikable, sorry to say. Master," she then said, turning to Windu, "I've come to let you know IÕm leaving for the courts now. I'll arrange to have someone come here to take Loral's deposition."

"Very good, Sasha," Windu said, smiling. "Where's the Skywalker child?"

"With Loral and the healers," she replied. "I've fed him, and told him what to expect. The healers will bring him to the Council Chamber once they've completed their testing -- it shouldn't take long. And they know to expect someone from the JAG office for Loral."

"Excellent."

Sketching a bow to those assembled, Knight Fellis withdrew again. Obi-Wan rubbed his head in frustration. He had hoped that he would be able to sneak out of this mission somehow, that once he had given them all his information, Yoda or someone would realize he was not needed. But now... Jar-Jar was dead, and he was the only one who knew where the 'sacred place' of the Gungans was. He sighed. And he still didn't know what to do about the droid control ship.

"Knight Kenobi," Panaka said, leaning forward earnestly, "are you sure the Gungans will help us in this?"

"Yes, they should," Obi-Wan replied. "It's their planet too. But I'm concerned about that control ship. They can set up the diversion with the Gungan army, but they can't hold out forever. That control ship needs to be disabled. Anakin did it in my reality... but I do not want to take him now. There's no reason to put him in that much jeopardy -- we can't be positive that events will mirror so closely."

"Agree with you I do," Yoda concurred, and there were nods from the others in the room.

Valorum cleared his throat. "Perhaps I could help there?" he said, as the attention in the room turned to him. "I may be perceived as being under the control of the bureaucracy, but I do still have my contacts." He smiled at Qui-Gon, who returned the smile knowingly. "Let me return to my office now, and see what I can do."

"It doesn't sound like we'll have a lot of time here, Finny," Qui-Gon warned him.

"I understand, Qui," he replied, rising to his feet and collecting his mantle. "If necessary, I'll send you a coded transmission with what I've found out once you're all out of hyperspace. Captain, if you'd like to accompany me, we can set that up on the way back to the my chambers."

"Thank you, Supreme Chancellor, I'd be honored," Panaka replied, bowing.

They were shown out of the Temple by Qui-Gon. Before he climbed into his car, Valorum grasped Qui-Gon's arm firmly. "It's good to see you again, Qui," he said, sincerity evident in his voice. "I've been worried about you, old friend."

One side of Qui-Gon's mouth quirked wryly. "Thank you, old friend. Something tells me," he added, looking thoughtfully back at the Temple, "that you don't have to worry any longer."



Events continued to fly that afternoon. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon observed Anakin's testing before the Council, and Obi-Wan fought down the pang of regret at seeing the boy again. He managed to get to the infirmary as he had promised Knight Fellis, to meet her bondmate, Master AmKaRa, a golden-furred humanoid of great dignity. He had been seriously wounded by Maul's 'saber, but quick thinking on the part of his bondmate had saved his life -- that, and the bacta. Knight Fellis delivered a message there from the Council, requiring his presence. Privately, she told Obi-Wan that Amidala had announced she was ready to go back to Naboo, against the wishes of Palpatine.

Feeling almost dizzy from being run from pillar to post, not to mention developing a massive headache, Obi-Wan found himself entering the Council Chamber behind Qui-Gon. The sense of deja vu was so strong he had to actually force himself not to stop at the customary spot, two paces behind Qui-Gon and one to the left, and instead take his place as an equal.

The sun was beginning its rapid descent as he stood in the chamber, clutching at his serenity with both fists. Mace Windu spoke.

"Queen Amidala has declared her intention to return to Naboo, and has requested the Jedi accompany her. This action will undoubtedly put pressure on the Trade Federation, and could widen the confrontation."

"It should also draw out Master AmKaRa's attacker," Ki-Adi-Mundi added.

"The Council requests that Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi take over for Master AmKaRa and Knight Fellis in this mission," Windu said quietly. "The Council further asks that you go to Naboo, seek out this mysterious warrior and, if possible, bring him back to the Temple. This is the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith."

The dark Councilor looked between the two men standing before him and sighed. "We cannot demand this of you, since certain foreknowledge has come to us--" he smiled grimly at Obi-Wan-- "indicating this mission will be extremely dangerous. Do you accept?"

Not trusting his voice, Obi-Wan merely jerked his head down in a rough nod. Qui-Gon's response was much more graceful, though he pointedly did not look at his companion. "May I have the Council's permission to withdraw? I need to pack," he said, his voice devoid of emotion.

Nodding, Windu waved him out. "Of course, Master Jinn. There will be a shuttle on pad four in twenty minutes, to take you to the Queen's transport. May the Force be with you."

Qui-Gon bowed and turned to leave. After a moment, Obi-Wan turned to follow, only to be interrupted. "Knight Kenobi," Yoda called to him. "A word we would have with you."

Behind him, Obi-Wan heard the door to the chamber snick shut. He bit his lip and studied the floor between his feet as he waited to be addressed. To his surprise, it was the soft voice of Depa Billaba who broke the silence. "Thank you for accepting this mission, Knight Kenobi," she said. "We do understand your reluctance, and appreciate your willingness to accommodate us. Especially considering you are not actually... adjunct... to this Temple."

There was nothing he could say to that that wouldn't sound rude, so he kept quiet. Mace Windu spoke next. "Do you need anything... clothes, other supplies?"

Swallowing, Obi-Wan was surprised to find his voice sounding nearly normal. "I-- I could use a new robe. This one's getting a bit threadbare. And perhaps another pair of boots..."

Nodding, Windu replied, "Of course. Anything you need. Please feel free to go to the quartermaster and charge everything to the Council. The authorization will be there."

"Thank you." Still staring resolutely at the floor, Obi-Wan could not see, but could feel, the glances the Councilors exchanged.

"Speak to you again, we will," Yoda finally said, his rusty voice oddly gentle. "When completed, the mission is."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan murmured in reply.

"May the Force be with you," Yoda sighed, dismissing him.

Bowing in reply, Obi-Wan turned and left the Council Chamber.



It was clear to Qui-Gon that the young Knight he traveled with was near a panic attack the closer they got to the Queen's transport. The sleek Nubian rested on one of the Senate's pads, and the Supreme Chancellor's shuttle was already docked; Qui-Gon could see several people milling about, as well as boxes of supplies. He turned to look at Obi-Wan and frowned; the young man's eyes were closed, his fists were clenched and Qui-Gon could feel his attempt to release his careening emotions into the Force.

The small shuttle landed with a soft thump. "We're there," Qui-Gon said, unnecessarily.

A non-committal noise from his cabin-mate was his only reply. After a few moments, Obi-Wan was able to stand and collect his battered backpack. They disembarked, and Qui-Gon actually walked a few paces forward towards the Queen's ship before realizing he was alone. He turned to give a quizzical look at his companion, who was standing on the pad at the foot of the shuttle ramp, looking rather stunned.

Taking a step back, he frowned at the young man. "Are you all right?" he asked.

Wide gray-green eyes swept over the scene. "It's not the same," Qui-Gon heard him mutter dazedly, almost like a mantra. "No Anakin. No Jar-Jar. It's not the same..."

Concerned, Qui-Gon reached out his hand but let it fall before touching the other Jedi. "Look," he said as softly as he could over the bustle of the pad. "I know this is hard for you, and I understand you've been through..."

Obi-Wan whirled to him, glaring and suddenly furious. "You haven't got a clue," he snarled, slowly and deliberately. "Not a fucking clue. Just get on board the damn ship, Master." Throwing his backpack over his shoulder, Obi-Wan stalked off, leaving a dazed, angry and appalled Qui-Gon to hurry after him.

Ignoring Captain Panaka's hail, the younger Knight simply strode aboard the ship, leaving the dark man to turn, puzzled, to Qui-Gon. "Master Jinn?" he asked. "Is everything all right?"

Nodding reassurance that he did not feel, Qui-Gon said, "I think so, Captain. I apologize for Knight Kenobi... it's been a rather stressful day for him, I think." //To say the least,// he added silently. //That boy's got some explaining to do.// Not letting the other man talk, he hurriedly changed the subject. "Is the Queen aboard? Are we ready for lift-off?"

"Yes to both, sir," Panaka answered, gesturing for the older man to precede him. "We've got just a bit of supplies left to load and we'll be ready."

Qui-Gon paused as he reached the ramp, the Force nudging him slightly. To Panaka's inquiring glance, he said, somewhat reluctantly, "I -- uh, I think perhaps you should have someone you trust do a complete inspection of the ship, outside especially." The two men's eyes met, and understanding flared.

"Oh, no," Panaka breathed. "You don't think..."

"It never hurts to be cautious, Captain," Qui-Gon said grimly.

Panaka closed his eyes and swallowed, then pulled his comm-link from his belt. "Ric? I need you and Sabe down here at the ramp right now. We need to do a security sweep."

Leaving the Captain to do his job, Qui-Gon boarded the ship. Although it was larger inside than it looked from the outside, most of that space was taken up by the Queen's apartment. One of her handmaidens, introducing herself as Sache, met Qui-Gon in the main companionway and walked him to a small cabin.

"This was Master AmKaRa's and Knight Fellis' cabin," she said, apologetically. "We're a little short on cabin space; I hope you don't mind sharing with the other Knight, Master Jinn."

Though privately wincing, Qui-Gon smiled serenely at the young woman. "It's not a problem at all, my dear. Don't worry about us." Dropping his pack near Obi-Wan's, he asked, "Do you know where Knight Kenobi might be now?"

"I believe he's forward, in the cockpit," she answered, dropping him a small curtsey. "If you'll excuse me..."

Obi-Wan was there, brooding in the vacant pilot's seat. He didn't turn as Qui-Gon entered the cramped room and took the navigator's chair. The angry demand for an explanation died on Qui-Gon's lips as he took in the anguished face of the young man before him. So instead, they sat in silence, both hearing the voices of the pilot, the Captain and one of the handmaidens through the radio as they swept the ship and reported to each other.

"I heard Captain Panaka's request," Obi-Wan finally said softly, not turning in his seat. "Was that at your instigation?"

"Yes," Qui-Gon answered blandly. "I received a slight... nudge."

Snorting, Obi-Wan said, "I hear that. The damn Force doesn't bother to whisper to me any more, it just bellows in both ears." His voice was bitter, and Qui-Gon turned enough to study the other man's profile.

Leaning back in the pilot's chair, Obi-Wan's head was tipped up as he stared sightlessly out the window of the cockpit. The corners of his mouth turned down, and his eyes were glittering in the dim light from the instrument panel and the light pollution from Coruscant. His arms rested on the chair, and his right fist kept opening and closing reflexively. Although his breathing was slow and steady, Qui-Gon could still sense the coiled anxiety within the younger man.

//He's beautiful,// Qui-Gon thought sadly, //just like my Obi-Wan. All the potential I saw so many years ago, turned into such a beautiful, capable, intelligent...// For a moment, he looked past the surface and saw beneath. //...And damaged young man,// he finally finished the thought. //But he's still so young... he has his whole life before him. He needs to move past whatever has happened to him.//

Excited chattering from the communications array broke his train of thought. The searchers had found something.



"It was a small device, easy to overlook," Panaka explained to those gathered in the Queen's sitting room. The hyperdrive thrummed under their feet. "It would have disabled the hyperdrive at specific point in time and space, rendering us incapable of significant movement."

"I don't understand," Amidala said. "Why not... why just disable us? Wouldn't it be better to kill us?"

"Obviously not, Your Highness," Obi-Wan said, his voice dripping with anger and frustration. He began to pace, his boot heels clicking on the polished floor. "Palpatine needs to be Supreme Chancellor. Think about it... he gets you out of the picture but not dead; held somewhere secure on the off chance you could be useful to him again at a future date. With you missing, he takes his righteous wrath before the Senate, calls for a vote of no confidence against Valorum -- who he can blame for 'making' you leave in the first place -- and gets elected Chancellor. If all goes according to his plan, he becomes the de facto ruler of Naboo as well as the Supreme Chancellor, and you're dead. If it doesn't go according to plan, he still has you in his back pocket." Snorting with something resembling amusement, Obi-Wan concluded, "You have to hand it to the man. He's devious beyond all definitions of the word."

It was difficult to see under the make-up, but Amidala did pale at his words. "He's a monster..." she whispered.

"Well, yes, that's a good word for it," Obi-Wan agreed sarcastically.

Qui-Gon had stayed out of the conversation, watching from his seat in the room. Now he frowned slightly as he watched his colleague's jerky pacing.

Taking a deep breath to regain control, Amidala tentatively broached a subject she had obviously been thinking about. "Knight Kenobi," she said, "I've heard most of the explanation of how you know this, but I don't really understand it. Could you try... I mean, how much do you actually..."

Sighing, Obi-Wan visibly forced himself to stop pacing and look at the young Queen. "I'm sorry, Your Highness," he finally said, scrubbing his face with one hand. The other remained fisted at his hip. "I know this is difficult for you. It's difficult for me too." He took a deep breath. "This has all happened to me before. About two years ago, in my reality. My... my Master and I were sent to your planet, whereas here it was AmKaRa and Fellis. Pretty much the same thing happened to them as happened to us... up to this point. When we... oh, Sith take it," Obi-Wan muttered, his shoulders slumping.

"It's all changed now," he admitted. "Jar-Jar is dead. Anakin is not with us, it would be too dangerous for him -- well, it was too dangerous for him then but there were extenuating circumstances." Obi-Wan shot Qui-Gon an enigmatic look that caused the older man to frown again. "I know what would have happened. I can only proceed from there. We'll have to make our plans from that point."

Nodding, Amidala confessed, "I was planning on asking the Gungans for help," she admitted. "I had thought that Jar-Jar could be a liaison between us and their bosses. But now..."

"I can take you to them," Obi-Wan allowed with a sigh. "I know where they are. But you are on your own in talking to them. If you say the right thing, they'll come to your aid. But I can't tell you what to say; it has to come from you." He looked at Amidala significantly. The young woman frowned in thought, then nodded.

"I -- I think I understand," she said slowly. "If you can get me to them, let me talk to them, I'll do what I can. I'll do what I have to."

Qui-Gon stood, moving to a point just behind Obi-Wan. "It will be dangerous, Your Highness," he said seriously. "And we can only protect you... we cannot fight a war for you."

"I understand, Master Jedi," Amidala said, more firmly this time. "Knight Kenobi, can you tell us everything that happened in your reality? Anything that you remember might help us in the long run."

Looking a bit shell-shocked for some reason, Obi-Wan blinked rapidly. "Oh. Uh, yes. Of course. We have time, we can pick it apart. And I'm still concerned about that droid control ship."

"The Supreme Chancellor may have word for us on that when we leave hyperspace," Panaka said. "But you're right, we need to plan for every contingency."

"We have less than three weeks to do so," Amidala said firmly. "Perhaps we should get started, then."



For Qui-Gon Jinn, time had never passed so quickly or so slowly. Day-long strategy sessions with the Queen, Panaka, even the pilot and handmaidens, left him exhausted, drained and achy. Twice-daily sparring sessions with an increasingly erratic Obi-Wan Kenobi, as the younger man worked to drill the parry into him, left him sore and even more exhausted -- and heartsick as well.

It was clear to the Master that the young Jedi was warring with himself over something, and Qui-Gon was almost afraid to find out what it was. It hadn't taken long for the bare bones of his story to be told, though Qui-Gon could tell by the hesitations and the odd looks now and then that Obi-Wan was leaving out certain things. Since he trusted the young Knight to include everything important, the omissions must be of a personal nature.

And then there were the times when Obi-Wan unthinkingly called him 'Master'.

It took Qui-Gon less than a day to put it all together and finally face his conclusion. Obi-Wan had said that he and his Master had gone to Naboo in his reality. Obi-Wan was showing him how to defend himself from a move made on Naboo, probably by the Sith. Obi-Wan told him he'd have to learn the parry if he wanted to stay alive on Naboo. Something happened on Naboo that made the young Knight uncomfortable, to say the least. And Obi-Wan had recognized him the first time they had met. It didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out what had happened. He really had been Obi-Wan's Master in Obi-Wan's home reality, as well as his own -- and in the other reality, Qui-Gon Jinn had died on Naboo. Unwillingly, Qui-Gon admitted to himself that he probably had known it all along. Intellectually, he knew that the beautiful young Knight was the adult Padawan he had let die of a useless, pointless disease -- but he was loath to admit that the Knight could have been raised by another version of himself.

Events came to a head about a week into their trip. Qui-Gon was admittedly tired and irritable, weary of tip-toeing around Obi-Wan and his hair-trigger temper. When Qui-Gon mildly suggested shared meditation rather than sparring one evening, Obi-Wan went off.

Slamming the datapad he carried down on the small desk in their shared quarters, he snarled, "Oh, I see. You don't care whether you live or die on Naboo. Far be it for me to make that decision for you, Master."

"Knight Kenobi," Qui-Gon replied softly, "we have almost two weeks to refine that parry. You've helped me tremendously." From the start, Qui-Gon had refused to call him Obi-Wan, hoping that the more formal honorific would help him keep his balance.

But Obi-Wan wasn't interested in balance any longer. "I have a name, Qui-Gon," he ground out, pointedly looking away from the larger man. "You don't have to keep calling me that."

Closing his eyes briefly, Qui-Gon took a deep breath and counted backwards in Malastarean. "I know that," he replied, proud of the fact that his voice was still calm. "And I know we still need to work on the parry. But right now, you're wound tighter than a spring; you won't be able to fight at all by the time we reach Naboo if you keep this up."

"What makes you think I WANT to fight?" Obi-Wan growled.

Shocked, Qui-Gon opened then closed his mouth. "That just proves my point. I definitely think meditation would be more beneficial to us at..."

"FINE!" roared Obi-Wan. "Whatever you want! You'll do whatever you want to do anyway, you always have!"

Apparently intending on stalking out, Obi-Wan turned but was brought up short by an iron hand on his arm. "That is quite enough," Qui-Gon growled. "You are not the only one in the universe -- ANY of the universes -- who has lost someone, Knight Kenobi. I think it's high time you stopped this self-pity fest you have going here and began to act like the Jedi Knight you are."

Incredulous, Obi-Wan looked from the big hand squeezing his biceps to the man the hand belonged to. "How dare you," he whispered, his anger nearly crackling in the air between them. "How DARE you. You're a fine one to talk about self-pity, old man. I know all about your own wallowing, and let me tell you, it didn't surprise me much. Not coming from the man that would disown his own damn Padawan before the entire Council so he could have the honor of training his precious Chosen One."

Qui-Gon dropped his arm as if he had been burned, backing up a step. Obi-Wan stalked him, his eyes glued to his shocked face, pushing him back, step by step. "You think you've lost, do you? Do you know what it's like to have the man you love more than your own life die in your arms -- not once, but twice? Do you? Do you know what it's like to live with that man for years, loving him, honoring him, trusting him, only to have him throw it in your face? Do you have any idea what it's like to watch a demon with that man's face ram a stun rod up your ass and ignite it just to listen to you scream? DO YOU?"

His face red and contorted, eyes streaming with unacknowledged tears, Obi-Wan backed Qui-Gon into a corner of the room. His own face a mask of sympathy and horror, Qui-Gon let him, tried to channel off the excess Force energy, tried to overcome the iron band tightening around his chest which cut off his air and kept him from speaking.

"Two years, Master," Obi-Wan sobbed, his voice ragged. "Two years. You... you keep leaving me. Or I keep leaving you, whatever; I can never stay." Blinking at Qui-Gon through his tears, he whispered, "You weren't supposed to die, Master. You weren't supposed to leave me."

Gently, Qui-Gon raised his hands and let his thumbs wipe away the tears. "Oh, my poor Padawan," he choked. "Obi-Wan... I know how hard... but you have to get past it..."

Sagging, Obi-Wan closed his eyes. "It's no good," he murmured, scraping his face on the back of his sleeve. "Too little, too late." Lifting his head, he closed his eyes and spoke to someone not there. "You were wrong, Xani," he said softly. "I'm too scarred, too damaged." Slumping, he turned to go again, and again, was stopped by a hand on his arm -- a gentle hand, this time. He didn't turn, but that didn't prevent him from hearing a low voice.

"When you were little, you used to wake up with night terrors," Qui-Gon said. "It was just after you became my Padawan, and you were so reluctant to tell me, afraid I'd give you up as imperfect. That night on the transport that you woke us both up, screaming, you finally came clean and admitted you needed help. Do you remember what I did?" Swallowing hard, Obi-Wan nodded imperceptibly. "I slept with you, that night, and for several following nights," Qui-Gon continued. "In the same bed, holding you tightly. I monitored your dreams. And at the end of a week or so, the night terrors receded. Eventually, they went away for good. And then... and then you died."

Slowly Obi-Wan turned, needing to see the face of the man he loved. It was contorted in painful memory as he continued speaking softly. "It was my fault, despite what that little troll says. I didn't monitor you closely enough. I let you tell me it was just a cold, nothing important, until the last transport was gone and we had no way to return to Coruscant for treatment. It was my fault. You died, and it was my fault."

"No," Obi-Wan said dully. "It wasn't. You're letting your guilt blind you."

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Qui-Gon asked gently, swallowing against the lump in his throat.

"No," the younger man responded. "I'm letting my guilt cripple me. There's a difference."

Choking in sudden, painful humor, Qui-Gon said, "Oh. I see." He swallowed again, swiping at his face with the back of his hand. "A pretty pair we make, then, don't we?"

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan looked down at his boots. "I -- I don't want to be a pair with you, Qui-Gon," he said finally, hesitantly. "It just -- it just hurts too much to love you. You'll die... on Naboo, or somewhere else; or you'll have a bondmate in the closet somewhere; or you'll run off with Mace Windu or something..."

"With Mace Windu?" Qui-Gon choked back a chuckle. "Not likely. Nor do I have a bondmate anywhere. As for dying, well, I don't intend it anytime soon. You're seeing to that, remember?"

As if he hadn't heard, Obi-Wan continued. "...And I'm damaged. You've seen that. My emotions are all over the place, and I can barely even sleep any more."

"Then let me... let me help you," Qui-Gon said. "Like I did when you were a child. I know you've been avoiding this room, sleeping in the galley... let me watch over your dreams tonight, Obi-Wan, let me help you sleep." Left unsaid was "Let me make it up to you for allowing you to die." But both still heard it.

Qui-Gon watched as bitter hope flared and died in Obi-Wan's eyes. Almost as if he were incapable of refusing, Obi-Wan nodded, slumping further. Qui-Gon carefully wrapped him in his arms and held him tightly, cradling a damp cheek against his breastbone. "It'll be all right," he whispered, rubbing gentle circles over Obi-Wan's back. "I promise."

After a few minutes of just standing there, together, feeding warmth into each other, Qui-Gon gently urged Obi-Wan up and away, and into the cabin's small 'fresher to prepare for bed. While the younger man did so, Qui-Gon sent a message to Queen Amidala, advising that it might be a good idea to have a simple day of rest tomorrow. She concurred readily; she was not stupid, and had seen the signs of stress not only in Knight Kenobi but also her own people.

By the time Obi-Wan emerged from the 'fresher, wearing only a light pair of pants, Qui-Gon was also ready for bed. He quickly took Obi-Wan's place and performed his nightly ablutions, then emerged to find the younger Knight sitting on the side of the built-in bed, looking forlorn.

"I've been a real asshole over the last week, haven't I?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice low.

"Yes," Qui-Gon said easily, sitting down next to the younger man but carefully not touching him, "you have. But we have all been on edge. This is not your average mission."

Instead of answering, Obi-Wan just shook his head. After a moment, Qui-Gon lifted himself onto the bed, moving over to the inside and sliding under the thin blanket, propping his head and neck up a bit. Holding the blanket up, he invited the other man with his eyes, and after a moment, Obi-Wan joined him, stretching out rigidly next to the big man.

Shaking his head in exasperation, after a moment Qui-Gon simply reached out and gathered the smaller man to him, resting the sandy-haired head to his chest, and firmly enveloping Obi-Wan into a comprehensive embrace. It took a while, but finally Obi-Wan relaxed against him; a bit longer and the trembling subsided as well as the Knight fell into an uneasy slumber. Qui-Gon put himself into a light, watchful doze, alert for bad dreams or night terrors.

Well before the ship's morning came, he realized he had gotten himself into a far greater problem, and that it wasn't just the Knight's dreams he should have been guarding.



Obi-Wan woke feeling more refreshed than he had been in quite a while. Beneath his ear he heard the soft lub-dub of a heart beating; against his cheek he felt warm skin; his senses were filled with an achingly familiar scent and aura. Still not more than half awake, he sighed slightly and shifted forward, tightening his arms around the body he nestled against.

The arms wrapped around him also tightened, reflexively, he thought, since the heart rate did not increase. His morning erection -- thankfully, a fairly common occurrence now -- throbbed gently, in counterpoint to the comfort level he felt, and he allowed himself a few minutes to float in sensuous bliss.

But reality has a way of intruding on situations like that, and before long, tiny annoyances began vying for his attention. His bladder needed emptying; his right arm was trapped under the weight of his bedmate and was sore; and the steady heartbeat under his ear began increasing as that bedmate began to wake. Reluctantly, he found himself going over the events of the night before -- the events of the previous week. He knew he had been irrational, erratic and volatile -- not to mention whiny and pathetic -- but he felt helpless to stop the hurtful words from leaving his mouth, unable to suppress the anger and frustration from taking over. //It's because of the situation,// he realized, sighing to himself. //I'm back aboard that Sith-damned ship heading for that Sith-damned planet. It's come full circle. And I'm powerless to stop it.// Harshly shoving anguish down, he screamed in his mind. //Dammit, Master, I don't think I can stand to lose you again!//

Sniffing a bit, Obi-Wan finally pulled back a ways and yawned. Shifting to pull his arm out from under Qui-Gon, he felt the bigger man arch a bit to make it easier. He heard the softly rumbled, "Good morning," as he stretched out, then sat up.

"Morning."

"You seemed to sleep well."

"Yes. Thank you."

"Any time."

Not looking at the older man, Obi-Wan stood and went into the 'fresher to relieve himself. He could feel eyes on him, and sure enough, when he emerged, Qui-Gon hadn't moved and was watching for him. Pulling clean tunics from his pack, Obi-Wan began to dress, still not looking at Qui-Gon.

"I spoke to the Queen last night," Qui-Gon said quietly, "and I recommended we take a break for most of today. You're not the only one on edge."

Obi-Wan made a non-committal noise as he pulled his undertunic on. "Probably not a bad idea," he allowed.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon started, and when he didn't speak again, the young Knight turned to him quizzically. He still refused to meet the older man's eyes, though. "Obi-Wan, we both said some things last night... well, I know I regret some of what I said. I was being unfair. I apologize."

Cocking his head to one side, Obi-Wan studied Qui-Gon's chin. "Accepted, of course," he said blandly. "But I disagree about them being unfair. You were simply saying the truth. I'm a self-centered prick and there's no two ways about it."

"No," Qui-Gon said firmly, leaning forward in the bed. "Stop that. Don't trivialize what you've been through... that's just as wrong as blowing it out of proportion. You need to get past what has happened to you these last two years. You have to move on, Obi-Wan, or you'll eat yourself alive."

Tying his sash, Obi-Wan presented a faade of thinking about that. "I think that just might be asking for the impossible," he said, bending to tug his boots on. He dispassionately noted Qui-Gon's shiver at the lack of emotion in his voice.

"You are a Jedi," Qui-Gon said, his voice still hovering at the reasonableness level. "You have been trained most of your life to move on, to release your emotions into the Force." Obi-Wan winced at that, pleased that his head was bent as he did up the buckles on his boots. "There is a reason why we do that, why the Code tells us to choose serenity over passion, you know. And right now, you are the living embodiment of that reason."

Straightening, adjusting his utility belt, Obi-Wan fought for passionless control. //If I can't master the emotions, I'll pretend they aren't there,// he thought. "As you say," he said aloud. "But just saying so doesn't really help, you know. Because you're right, you don't really know what I've gone through."

"No, I don't, and I'm sorry you do," Qui-Gon said testily, his patience thinning. Overwrought emotions he could deal with, but this ice prince... "If I could undo it I would! But I can't. And you know what else? I've suffered too... no, not the same ways you have, but consider that for a moment -- you haven't suffered the same ways I have, Knight Kenobi, and now that I think about it, how dare you suggest that your brand of suffering is more painful than mine or anybody else's? And besides, blaming me for what some 'other' Qui-Gons did is irresponsible and unfair."

Obi-Wan stood still and blinked at him, swallowing hard. There was absolutely no expression on his face, and Qui-Gon could read nothing in his eyes. "You're right, of course," he finally said softly. Turning, he left the room, closing the door carefully behind him.

The last thing Obi-Wan saw was Qui-Gon's jaw dropping in shock. From beyond the door, he could hear the slam of a fist into a wall and muted cursing. Straightening his stola, he walked to the galley to get something to drink. Eating could wait until his stomach settled -- if it ever did.



Qui-Gon slammed his fist into the bulkhead, then indulged in a few minutes of self-satisfying swearing in virulent Huttese. Rubbing his abused knuckles, he then sighed and released his frustration to the Force. //That boy is going to be the death of me,// he thought, chuckling silently for a moment. Suddenly, he realized what he had said, gasped and sat up straight.

"He blames himself," he said aloud to the empty room. "How did I miss that?"

Rising, Qui-Gon shucked his sleeping attire and climbed into the small 'fresher for a shower, thinking all the while. The answer was, of course, that he hadn't missed it... it had been right before his rather generous broken nose the whole while. He just hadn't wanted to see it -- same as knowing and yet denying that Obi-Wan was the Padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn in his reality. To know that someone else carried blame for something he was not responsible for meant he would have to examine his own carefully cherished guilt, and that was something he hadn't wanted to do.

As he soaped and rinsed his hair and body under the fine spray of recirculated, tepid water, he forced himself to turn to a particular iron-bound box in his mind, carefully opening it. Inside was pain. Inside were memories, feelings, sadness and tears, all carefully preserved, wrapped in fine linen and waiting for him, patiently lurking.

To his vast surprise, the knife-edged agony he more than half-expected wasn't there. Instead, it was a dull throbbing, rather like the memory of a toothache or a dream of stubbing your toe. While he toweled his hair dry and mechanically went about his morning routine, he gently removed all the items in the box and examined them, one by one, frowning in thought as each turned out to be less than he remembered. Finally sitting back down on the bed, he allowed himself to drop into light meditation to discern the foundation of his sudden puzzlement.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to him. He found, as he went back through the memories, that each one was superseded by pain-filled gray-green eyes under coppery hair. Suddenly opening his eyes, he winced. //Little gods,// he thought, //I am falling in love with him.// Shoving his fingers through his still-damp hair, he sighed. //That's the last thing I need,// he finished ruefully.



It was actually quite a small ship -- more of a personal pleasure boat than a real transport -- and cramming more than a dozen people into it was really asking too much. Everyone was in everyone else's way, and this, added to the fact that they were all aware that they were headed back into certain trouble and possible death, meant tempers were bound to fray.

That there hadn't been a mutiny was really due more to good manners and luck than anything else.

So it was with some surprise that Qui-Gon discovered he couldn't find Obi-Wan. He didn't want to be obtrusive in his search, and the Knight was shielding tightly so that left a Force search out. After quietly moving through just about every nook and cranny, Qui-Gon realized the only place he hadn't been was the control room. And sure enough, that's where he found Obi-Wan, sitting watch for the pilot, eyes closed as the starscape streaked by.

Once again, Qui-Gon found himself sitting at the navigator's console and studying the profile of the man named Obi-Wan Kenobi. He first thought the younger man was meditating, but through the shields leaked enough careering emotion that Qui-Gon became convinced otherwise. //Well, now that I've found him,// he though dryly, //what do I do with him?//

Pondering that left him sitting there quietly for a while, until finally Obi-Wan broke the silence. "Was there a reason you came up here?" the younger man asked blandly.

//Well, was there?// Qui-Gon asked himself. "I was wondering if perhaps you'd like to spar," he finally replied serenely.

"I thought you declared this a day of rest," Obi-Wan said, not moving.

"We don't have to work on anything too strenuous," Qui-Gon answered. "I was thinking something in the Twelfth Form."

Obi-Wan's eyes opened and he turned to the other man in some mild surprise. The Twelfth Form was often called the Lovers' Form; the katas were all designed for pairs, were mostly slow and very dance-like, and required rather intense concentration. They were also ideal for the situation, as a pair engaged in any of the katas would be somewhat linked by necessity and would have to maintain calm.

Chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip, Obi-Wan finally said, "All right. Where? The Queen's audience chamber as usual?"

"I'll check to see if it's clear," Qui-Gon said, rising. He didn't think it would be a problem, and indeed, it was not. The handmaidens loved to watch them spar, but Qui-Gon asked that they be given privacy this time. Amidala agreed, after giving him a significant glance.

They wasted little time warming up, moving directly into the first kata, which was slow enough to be treated as a warm-up anyway. Qui-Gon quickly fell into the dance-like structure of movement -- parry and thrust, surge and retreat. It took Obi-Wan a bit longer, but by the time they finished the first kata and moved into the second, he was more relaxed, more centered.

Moving at speed or a little slower, they worked their way through the first four katas and began the fifth... where they hit a snag. The fifth required actual physical contact, asked that the participants work with each other in a series of turns and ricochet movements, balancing, spinning and leaping off each other. Everything was fine until the sequence where their left forearms locked together and they moved into a slow spinning routine. It was a push-and-tug movement, aimed to getting them turning at an increasing speed around a shared center of gravity, their 'sabers, held in their right hands, extended out and back in carefully timed choreography. As they turned, they moved in towards each other, increasing the speed of their spin, until they were nearly nose to nose.

Deep into the meditative trance required by the kata, it took Qui-Gon a few moments to realize that Obi-Wan's concentration was stuttering badly. Suddenly, a blue 'saber that was supposed to be in a particular spot wasn't, and the Master's green 'saber was arching down towards giving Obi-Wan a nasty burn with the reduced-power weapon. At the last second, Qui-Gon broke the arm-lock and spun away, throwing his 'saber from him with a hard movement. He landed sprawled on his backside, staring in shock as the younger man staggered and fell himself.

Pulling himself more or less upright, Qui-Gon stared across the room at his fellow Jedi. "What the hells was that?" he asked, rubbing at a bruised buttock.

Slumping, hanging his head between his bent knees, Obi-Wan swallowed. "I'm sorry," he finally murmured. "My fault. I'm sorry."

They sat together in silence for a moment, the room echoingly silent now. "We need to talk, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon finally said firmly.

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan made a chopping gesture with one hand. "If you're going to tell me again that I need to get past this..."

"You do. Before it kills you."

"I CAN'T. Don't you understand that?" Voice raw with emotion, Obi-Wan suddenly gained his feet and began to stride from the room.

Leaping to his own feet with Force-enhanced speed, Qui-Gon cut him off before he reached the door, one hand on his arm, the other on his chest. "No, I don't understand," he said, his voice low and rough. "You keep saying I don't know, I can't know... well then, TELL me. Explain it to me, Knight Kenobi." Giving the arm he held a gentle little shake, Qui-Gon repeated, "Tell me."

They stood frozen for a moment before Obi-Wan finally lifted pain-filled eyes to Qui-Gon's face. He searched for something... pity, anger, frustration... but found only sympathy and a willingness to listen. He looked back down at the floor and slowly turned away, rubbing his hip absently.

He walked aimlessly and quietly about the large open room for several minutes, and Qui-Gon stood silent sentinel at the door, waiting patiently, until finally the younger man began to speak, hesitantly.

"The -- the first time, I didn't know what had happened. I turned on the power to my new 'saber to test it and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a ruin. I found out later it was the transfer itself that had done it... it made me nauseous and disoriented, but I finally found a way out of that. The Temple was in ruins..."



Obi-Wan talked. He talked the remainder of the morning, and kept talking through the ship's afternoon. One of the handmaidens -- Qui-Gon had difficulty telling them apart but he figured that was on purpose -- brought them some sandwiches and juice for lunch, respecting their privacy. And still Obi-Wan talked.

Starting with the very first transfer, Obi-Wan told Qui-Gon of his journey. Leaving absolutely nothing out, he described every reality, every transfer, every heartache. It was not a big surprise to Qui-Gon to discover the young man had been searching for a home, nor did it come as a surprise that he wanted that home with the man he had lost on Naboo. It was, however, humbling that such a talented, good-hearted and exceptional young man would want to spend the rest of his life with Qui-Gon Jinn.

Qui-Gon listened, and did not judge, but did weep with Obi-Wan in places. And in listening and absorbing the tale, he came to understand the complex person who sat before him... came to understand him better, anyway, for he truly thought there was no way he could ever thoroughly understand him.

At one point in the tale, Qui-Gon frowned and nodded. "You... you called out in your sleep, you know, last night. You called for Xani. I wondered..."

Wincing slightly, Obi-Wan said, "Maul said I had been talking in my sleep. I'm sorry."

"No. It's all right." Intently studying the pattern on the floor between his feet and trying to suppress a surge of jealousy at the thought of someone else hearing Obi-Wan's nocturnal voicings, Qui-Gon swallowed. "That name used to hurt. I'm learning it doesn't so much any more. And to find... well. It sounds like all along I was right and it was my fault." Snorting in a kind of wry, painful amusement, he looked up at the young Knight. "Is it paranoia when they really are after you?"

"Don't..." Obi-Wan began, then stopped and grimaced. "Trouble is, you're not far from wrong. It's like some weird fate, drawing you and him together... but not as Master and Padawan. Any other way, and you're happy. Just not as Master and Padawan."

"Not like us," Qui-Gon said quietly. Obi-Wan swallowed and looked down. "Never mind," Qui-Gon continued. "I've interrupted your train of thought, and I think you've got more to tell me."

By the time Obi-Wan finished, it was well after ship's dinner, and his voice was raw from talking and holding back tears. He sat, exhausted, on the floor near Qui-Gon, and hung his head between bent knees. After a few minutes of silence, Qui-Gon rose stiffly, stretching to relieve kinked muscles, and gathered the remains of their lunch and his 'saber, which still lay where it had fallen earlier.

"Why don't you go on back to the cabin," he said quietly. "Get cleaned up. I'll get us some sandwiches and meet you back there."

Without a word Obi-Wan copied his movements -- including the stretch for sore muscles -- and followed him out of the room. By the time Qui-Gon got back to their cabin, he was freshly showered and lying on the bed, arms crossed behind his head, an enigmatic expression on his face.

"Here's a sandwich, and some ale. I thought it might be a nice change from juice."

"Thanks." Obi-Wan sat up and took the food and drink, chewing and drinking mechanically. Qui-Gon sat at the small desk to eat his own food, while examining his 'saber. At his muffled curse, Obi-Wan looked up. "What?"

"The casing is cracked," Qui-Gon said, disgusted. "I thought I should have replaced it earlier, but didn't have time before we left. I'd better check it out carefully; I don't have the proper tools here to repair anything serious."

"You don't have to," Obi-Wan said, reluctantly. When Qui-Gon turned a puzzled frown on him, he rose and rummaged in his battered backpack, coming up with a third 'saber. He handed it to Qui-Gon, who gasped as he took it.

"It's... it's mine! What the..." He quickly looked up at the young Knight, realization dawning. "It was his, wasn't it. Your Qui-Gon's. I can't take this."

"You can, and you will," Obi-Wan said firmly, going back to his dinner. "I'll not have you unarmed when we face Maul's clone."

Soberly, Qui-Gon hefted the battered 'saber in his hand. When he powered it up, the deadly green blade extended perfectly, humming dangerously. He thumbed it off. "All right," he finally said, hesitantly. "But only until I can get mine repaired."

Obi-Wan shrugged and didn't look at him. Once finished with his meal, he stood again and stretched. Qui-Gon tried not to look at the play of muscles down the golden-skinned back; clad only in his leggings, Obi-Wan looked like a young god. Lost in his thoughts, it took him a moment to realize Obi-Wan was reaching for a tunic to slide on and was heading for the door. "Where are you going?"

Guiltily, the younger man turned. "I -- I don't know. Out. I need to think."

"Obi-Wan." Unwillingly, Obi-Wan turned and met his eyes. "Stay. Please. We'll share meditation and then sleep. It worked last night, it will work tonight."

"I..."

"Please. I know how you feel... I feel much the same way. But right now, we need sleep." Qui-Gon smiled sadly at the Knight. "And if the best way to get that sleep is to be together, then so be it."

Still hesitating, Obi-Wan frowned at the door. Qui-Gon rose and went to him, resting one warm hand on his still-bare shoulder. "Just sleep."

Freezing at the gentle touch, Obi-Wan didn't reply for several moments. Finally, softly, he agreed. "All right. Sleep." Smiling slightly at the tall man behind him, he admitted, "It's not like I don't need it, after all."



That became their pattern for the next week. They would wake in each other's arms, careful not to look at each other or acknowledge the growing attraction between them, then would meet with the others to discuss strategy. They would spar, eat, and retire to sleep again.

For the second week of their journey, Obi-Wan found that the routine was helpful. He was sleeping well, he woke refreshed, and began to feel more at peace with the mission -- even if he still worried about that droid control ship. Qui-Gon felt nearly the same, though the familiar ache in his heart was gradually being taken over by another ache, wholly unrelated but nonetheless just as difficult to resolve.

Then Obi-Wan began having nightmares again. The first time it happened, he managed to wake himself before he woke Qui-Gon. Drenched in cold sweat, rigid in fear until he realized where he was, it took him several moments to calm down. Sensing his discomfort, Qui-Gon rolled over in his sleep and gathered him into his arms, holding him tightly. Slowly his breathing went back to normal and he burrowed deeper into the big man's embrace, gradually relaxing enough to fall back asleep.

But two nights later, he woke screaming and flailing. When Qui-Gon tried to calm him down, he panicked and struck out. Finally, a judicious use of Force bonds basically tied Obi-Wan to the bed while Qui-Gon held him in a warm, tight embrace, talking softly and continually. Eventually, the fugue state ended, Obi-Wan woke completely, and Qui-Gon loosened the bonds, pulling the smaller man nearly on top of him while rubbing his back soothingly. Obi-Wan held on for dear life and fought to control his breathing and heart rate.

It took several minutes, but finally, he felt more in control, and Qui-Gon allowed his arms to relax. "Are you all right?" he murmured.

Swallowing, Obi-Wan nodded. Qui-Gon shifted him to the bed, got him comfortable, then stood, moving into the 'fresher. A moment later he returned with a warm, damp cloth that he used to gently wipe the sweat off Obi-Wan's face and neck. "There. Better?"

"Yes." The reply was so soft Qui-Gon might have missed it. Tossing the cloth to the floor by the bed, he climbed back under the covers and started to pull Obi-Wan close again, but the young man was stiff and resisted.

"Obi-Wan?" Worried, he pulled back and looked down into the drawn face.

"It's all right," Obi-Wan whispered, relaxing slightly. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, of course not," Qui-Gon said, slowly and gently taking Obi-Wan into his arms. As soon as the other man's body was against his, Qui-Gon thought he understood Obi-Wan's reticence... the young man was hard against his hip. Smiling gently, Qui-Gon kissed his forehead softly. "It's all right," he whispered. "Just a simple biological reaction to stress, Obi-Wan."

Shaking his head slightly, Obi-Wan slowly relaxed into Qui-Gon's embrace. "It's more than that," he said. "You have no idea..."

"I'm beginning to."

Their eyes locked. Though every rational instinct screamed at him to stop, Qui-Gon found the pull of those soft, lush lips irresistible. He wanted to taste so badly... needed to sip deeply at that well. They moved closer together, both beginning to pant with the strain of trying to resist... trying and failing. Then Obi-Wan's tongue darted out to nervously lick dry lips and Qui-Gon was lost.

It was better than he imagined... better than he could have imagined. Obi-Wan's mouth was sweeter than the finest honey and he was a starving man. Their lips locked and tongues invaded each other's mouths, staking out new territory and claiming with a vengeance. Hands gripped at shoulders and backs; Qui-Gon cradled the younger man's face with one large hand while his other caressed deliciously soft skin.

They became frantic, rocking their bodies together and moaning into each other's mouths. With hard, desperate movements, they shoved each other's pants down to free their rigid erections, which met and rubbed together deliciously, sparking lust even higher. The kiss broke to gasps for air, then Obi-Wan latched onto Qui-Gon's collarbone, biting and sucking, clutching at the bigger man's ass to bring it closer, to grind their erections together. Qui-Gon bent his head and took an earlobe into his mouth, biting down hard then lapping at the mark he created with his tongue.

"Yes... oh yes, Master... more..." Obi-Wan groaned as he shoved his body against Qui-Gon's.

"Mine," growled Qui-Gon, rolling the smaller man to his back and pinning him to the bed. "Oh, gods, yes, my Obi...my Obi... mine..."

"Yours, yes, please..."

"...want you... need you... love you..."

Their mouths crashed together again in a demanding kiss as their bodies rocked together, driving them higher on an orgasmic cliff, teetering at the edge, grunting and clawing at each other as they strove for a mutual goal. As they began to fall over, Obi-Wan tipped his head back and howled in a combination of ecstasy and despair. Qui-Gon buried his head in Obi-Wan's neck and gasped his own completion, a wrenching, drenching moment that went on and on and on...

A harsh sob brought Qui-Gon back from whatever blissed-out state he had been in. Grabbing at his sanity with both hands, he forced himself to back away from the younger man, sick realization dawning, as real as the sticky mess on their bellies. "Oh, little gods, what have I done," he whispered, appalled.

Obi-Wan's face was white and his eyes were closed. His hands had fallen from clutching Qui-Gon to him and were clenched in fists at his side. Struggling to get his breathing back under control, Qui-Gon rolled to the side of the bed but continued to touch the younger man, hoping to make amends or keep him calm... or something, he wasn't sure what, but he knew he couldn't let go now. Suddenly remembering, he made a long arm and snatched the cloth he had used to wipe Obi-Wan's sweat off, and this time used it to clean their bodies of the evidence of their shared passion. Obi-Wan didn't move during the entire procedure.

Pulling the blanket back up around them, Qui-Gon lay back down next to Obi-Wan carefully, terrified of what might happen now. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Oh, Obi-Wan, I'm so sorry..."

There was no answer, but eventually, they both managed to fall asleep. And when Qui-Gon woke, Obi-Wan was not in the cabin.



After a hasty wash and dress, Qui-Gon hurried out to search for Obi-Wan again. Nearing the galley, he was stopped by Captain Panaka.

"Master Qui-Gon," the dark man said, taking his arm. "We're about to drop out of hyperspace. I know you haven't broken your fast yet, but Knight Kenobi asked me to bring you to the command room. We're expecting to hear from the Supreme Chancellor as soon as we're back in normal space."

"Ah, that's where he is," Qui-Gon said, just barely managing to conceal his relief. "Yes, of course, I'll come with you now. Breakfast can wait."

The cockpit was already crowded, with the pilot, Amidala and Obi-Wan, so there was no chance for Qui-Gon to speak privately with the young Knight. With a shudder, the ship fell smoothly back into normal space, and the pilot did a quick scan. "We're right on target, Highness," he said with satisfaction. "We'll be at Naboo tomorrow morning."

"Excellent, Ric," Amidala said, smiling. "At least something is going right. Any message from the Supreme Chancellor?"

"Nothing yet, but we're a few minutes early," the pilot replied, monitoring the communications array.

They waited in nervous silence until a sudden beeping indicated an incoming message. Once acknowledged, a second coded message was squirted to them from Coruscant, and Panaka scrambled for the key to decode it, which didn't take long.

"It's from Chancellor Valorum," he confirmed. "Would you like to take it in the audience room?"

"No, Captain," Amidala said, "just play it here."

Nodding, Panaka booted the holo-emitter and shortly a ten-inch-high Valorum was addressing them from the tabletop unit.

"Your Highness," began the recorded message. "I am delighted to inform you I have good news. Encoded with this message is a line of code that will allow you access to security systems of the vehicle we have been concerned about. In order to use this algorithm however, one must be within 3000 feet of the vehicle. I trust that you will be able to accomplish this feat.

"Our mutual friend is doing well and is constantly surrounded by well-wishers. I wish you good fortune and hope that all is well with you. If there is anything else I can do for you, please advise. I remain your humble servant."

After a bow, the image of the Chancellor winked out. Panaka was looking at a nearby monitor with a big grin on his face, and as the message ended, he turned to Amidala. "He's done it, Your Highness! I've got the code right here."

"Excellent," Amidala said, smiling grimly. "We've got them now. We need to have a meeting. Ric, take us back into hyperspace. How long to Naboo?"

"Twenty-two hours, Highness," the pilot responded, working the controls. With a slight shudder and a nearly inaudible whine, the hyperdrive came back on-line and the stars through the port streaked.

"Less than one day," Amidala said, meeting everyone's eyes. "We have much to discuss. I'll send Rabe up to spell you, Ric; meet us in the audience room when she gets here."

Panaka and Amidala left the room, followed by Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. As the door hissed closed behind him, Qui-Gon reached out to touch Obi-Wan, and called his name softly. Cloudy gray-green eyes met his.

"Obi-Wan," he said softly. "About last night... I'm sorry. Please..."

"It's all right," Obi-Wan said, his voice slightly bitter. Turning his eyes away, the young Knight looked down at the floor. "Don't agonize over it. I'm sure I'm capable of enough agonizing for the both of us."

Swallowing hard, Qui-Gon left his hand where it was, on the smaller man's shoulder. "We should talk about it," he said, wincing at how inane that sounded, even to his own ears.

"We can talk things to death, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head. "And it won't matter. What's done is done. Right now, the mission takes precedence."

"Jedi first," Qui-Gon said, his voice rough.

"Jedi first," Obi-Wan agreed, his eyes still focused on the floor.

Not letting him move away, Qui-Gon said, his voice still harsh, "I'm sorry it happened, Obi-Wan, but I don't regret it. I just regret that I may have hurt you."

"You didn't," Obi-Wan assured him, equally softly. He seemed surprised at the older man's words, and appeared to want to say something else. However, footsteps told them Rabe was coming. Quirking a smile at the older man, Obi-Wan turned and Qui-Gon followed him to the audience room.



It was a long and tiring day. Plans were made, changed, dropped, re-made, discussed to death and argued over. Obi-Wan could assure the Queen that she would be able to find pilots when they landed, but not how many. Calling for the astro-mech droid R2-D2, Panaka loaded it with a map of Theed and the palace for the group to study. By the end of the day, a tentative plan was agreed on by the group, tempers were flaring, and everyone had a headache.

Dinner was a somber affair, with everyone seeking what privacy they could find immediately after. When Obi-Wan emerged from the 'fresher in the cabin he shared with Qui-Gon, he found the older man still fully dressed and sitting at the desk. "It's all yours," Obi-Wan said, indicating the 'fresher.

Qui-Gon looked as though he wanted to say something, but kept quiet and merely smiled slightly as he stood and went into the smaller room. When he emerged, Obi-Wan was only mildly surprised to find him still mostly dressed, in undertunic and leggings. At his stare, Qui-Gon said, "I thought... I should sleep somewhere else tonight. I'll go into the galley and meditate before sleeping."

"Please," Obi-Wan said softly as the older man turned to go. Qui-Gon turned back to him, sad puzzlement on his face.

Since the evening before, Obi-Wan had been kicking himself. He thought he was strong enough to resist the lure of loving Qui-Gon, of being with the man he adored, and that had turned out to be not the case. He felt as though he had tricked the Master into making love to him, even though he knew that was nonsense. But the guilt and pain in those deep blue eyes...

...Which were now waiting, patiently, for him to say something. Feeling like a fool, a child and poor excuse for a Jedi all in one, Obi-Wan whispered, "Please. Stay. I -- I don't want to be alone tonight."

Qui-Gon frowned, the want and guilt pouring off him in waves. "Obi, I don't think..."

"The last time, my last night on this ship, we couldn't even talk," the young Knight said quickly, softly. "We avoided each other the whole trip; you were angry and upset and I was furious and guilty. I don't want a repeat of that. This... this might be..." his breath was coming harsher as he fought to get the words out. "This might be the last night we have together. Please, I don't..."

Unbelievably fast, Qui-Gon was there, kneeling at his feet, looking into his face earnestly, reassuringly. "No. Stop that now. I'm not going to die day after tomorrow, Obi-Wan. I'm not. This is not then. You've said it yourself, it's a wholly different situation." Taking the younger man's callused, elegant hands in his own, Qui-Gon kissed them. "What we did last night wasn't wrong, it was just... just poorly timed."

Obi-Wan smiled slightly at the phrase. Freeing one hand, he used it to push Qui-Gon's hair behind one ear, then caressed the jaw and neck under that ear. "I don't want to fall in love with you," he murmured. "I'll not be able to stay, you know. The Force will have me moving on as soon as Palpatine is captured."

Swallowing, Qui-Gon said, "We'll deal with that when we have to. Don't go borrowing trouble."

"Live in the moment, Padawan," Obi-Wan quoted, chuckling slightly. Qui-Gon smiled in return to hear his philosophy repeated back to him. Their eyes met and held, asking questions and seeking answers. "I --" Obi-Wan started, but Qui-Gon interrupted him.

"Don't." Again, Qui-Gon kissed the hand he held. "Let's not talk about it any more. You were right, what's done is done, and talking right now won't help."

It was as if a tight band around his heart eased, making it easier to breathe and think. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, bent, and brushed his lips gently across Qui-Gon's, not thinking about tomorrow, or the day after, but rather thinking solely about tonight. "Come to bed," he said, "we need sleep."

Bowing his head in acquiescence, Qui-Gon stood and stripped off his undertunic, boots and socks. Obi-Wan slid under the covers and moved to the inside of the bed, giving Qui-Gon enough room to follow him, which he did. As Qui-Gon waved the lights off, he reached out and pulled Obi-Wan to him, tucking his head beneath his chin and winding his long legs around the shorter ones of his companion.

Obi-Wan breathed deeply, held it, then slowly released the tension from his body. He would let tomorrow take care of itself. For tonight, he had what he wanted. //Funny,// he pondered as he let himself begin to drift, //where did I lose sight of that?//

They slept.



The next morning, they fell out of hyperspace at the edge of Naboo's gravity well. The pilot ran a fast scan as they dropped towards the planet, detecting the remaining droid control ship in orbit. "They've probably spotted us," he confirmed.

"We haven't much time," Obi-Wan found himself saying to a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Wrenching his mind back to the present, he added, "You have the coordinates where to put us down?"

"Yes," Olie replied tersely, his fingers playing over the controls.

They set down in the forest, near the swampland where Obi-Wan knew the Gungans would be. Amidala was back in her Padme persona, and one of the handmaidens was made up to look like her. Two other young women accompanied them, along with her personal guard, and Qui-Gon shot Obi-Wan a puzzled look.

"Surely she's not going to let her handmaiden speak for her before the Gungans?" he asked quietly as they moved off into the forest.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "It's entirely up to her," he replied, equally softly. "She has to handle it herself, and she's not a stupid girl. She knows what needs to be done."

They walked in silence for a time, and Obi-Wan could tell Qui-Gon was pondering that statement. "You've encountered her... in other, uh, in other..."

"In other realities?" Obi-Wan asked. "Yes. She's very strong-willed, very intelligent. I have no doubt she'll know what to do when the time comes."

It wasn't hard to locate the 'sacred place' of the Gungans, and once again, Obi-Wan found himself wondering about the gigantic carved heads -- heads that did not resemble the heads of the amphibious Gungan race -- littering the ground. But his reverie was broken with a vengeance when Amidala pushed herself forward, interrupting her decoy, and began to speak to the Gungan Nass. Word for word, what he had heard her say two years before was repeated in the dappled glade. As he knelt next to Qui-Gon again, Obi-Wan's head began swimming and his stomach felt sour.

When Nass began laughing, accepting the alliance the small female Naboo proposed, everyone stood and began talking at once... everyone but Obi-Wan. He remained on one knee, his head bent, fighting an internal battle. Qui-Gon immediately noticed and knelt next to him.

"Obi-Wan, are you all right? What's wrong?" The soft voice was urgent and a strong hand reached out to grasp his shoulder.

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan fought to get his trembling under control, to keep the light breakfast he had eaten down. Panaka noticed the two of them and also came over. "Obi-Wan," he asked, concern evident on his expressive face, "what is it? Is everything all right?"

Scrubbing his face with one shaky hand, Obi-Wan managed to mutter to Qui-Gon. "...Away. Have to get away..."

Qui-Gon heard and must have understood. He looked up to Panaka. "Help me, please, I need to get him someplace quiet."

"Of course," Panaka responded. Between the two of them, they helped Obi-Wan to his feet and Qui-Gon led him off to the side, out of the way of the Gungans and the Naboo and deeper into the swampy forest, while Panaka made excuses and kept others from following them. After a moment, they found a convenient fallen log, and Obi-Wan gratefully sank to a seat, Qui-Gon beside him.

"Sorry," he muttered, lowering his head and trying to breathe calmly. He felt appalled at his behavior, ashamed at the trembling in his limbs and the depth of his reaction. Qui-Gon kept one hand on his back as he waited for the younger man to calm down. Slowly the peace of the glade sunk into him; the sound of animals, the Gungan and Naboo voices nothing but a murmur behind them. "Sorry," he said again. "It's all happening again. Exactly the same."

"It's not the same," Qui-Gon said firmly.

"Yes, it IS," Obi-Wan replied, turning his head and fixing the Master with a steely stare. "EVERYTHING is the same. She said the exact same thing, Qui-Gon. Exactly. Now we'll go to the edge of the Theed Plain and meet with the refugees from the city. And tomorrow, we'll invade the palace, and Maul's clone will attack us and you'll be killed. It's exactly the same."

"NO, it's NOT," Qui-Gon said firmly and a bit impatiently. He moved so that he knelt between Obi-Wan's legs, looking up into the younger man's face. "I have no intention of dying tomorrow, Obi-Wan. Things are going to happen differently here. Quit being so fatalistic."

"Fatalistic?" Obi-Wan said, surprise and sarcasm evident in his tone. "Me? Fatalistic? That's funny, Qui-Gon, it really is, coming from you especially."

"Stop it."

"No, I won't, Master Rabid-Free-Will-of-the-Galaxy," Obi-Wan continued, relentlessly, ignoring the ache in his heart that his words produced. "You don't seem to understand. You. Will. Die. Tomorrow. You'll allow Maul's clone to separate us, assured that your 'saber skills more than match his, hells, I'm sure they do, after all, you ARE a Jedi Master, and then he will smack you in your chin and then run you through your..."

Abruptly, Qui-Gon slapped Obi-Wan's face. It wasn't a hard stroke, but it shocked both of them into immobility, and Obi-Wan into silence. After a stunned moment, Qui-Gon swallowed and rose, walking away a few steps to stand, rigidly staring out at the forest. Obi-Wan remained where he was, grinding his teeth and fingering his stinging cheek. All he felt was some kind of vicious, anguished satisfaction, and he didn't even know why.

"There's nothing I can say that will convince you otherwise, is there?" Qui-Gon finally asked, softly, not turning.

It was a question that did not beg an answer, so Obi-Wan did not answer it. "I'm sorry I hit you," Qui-Gon finally continued. "But I think it was necessary at that moment." He turned then, and his stormy blue eyes met Obi-Wan's... and the younger man shuddered at what he saw there. "If I can't tell you, then I'll have to convince you with deeds. I'm not going to die tomorrow, Obi-Wan."

Sudden fury arose in Obi-Wan -- and as quickly died. He closed his eyes in defeat, wondering if he had ever had a chance of winning this particular battle. He drew in a deep breath, held it, and tried to release his tension with his exhale. He was partially successful, but could not rid himself of his sense of doom. "Fine." He rose, dusted off his pants and turned back toward the gathering. "Then you had better not let him separate us. Let me lead. I know his style."

"And let you get killed instead? I don't think so." Qui-Gon moved smoothly until they were side by side, moving back to the celebration. "We go together. We stay together. We fight... and, if necessary, die... together."

The hope that sprang up in Obi-Wan's chest was nearly overpowering, and very hard to squash, but he did his best.



"Oh, good. They've made it." Amidala looked up from the maps she had spread across her speeder as a small convoy of battered speeders hove into sight. Hiding the extra vehicles under the trees was a quick matter, and shortly, Panaka joined the young Queen, the Jedi and the Gungan Bosses at Amidala's speeder.

The droid R2-D2 displayed the holo-map of the Theed palace, showing the secret passages on the waterfall side as Amidala talked. "The battle is a diversion. The Gungans must draw the droid army out of Theed so we can get to the Viceroy," she explained to Nass. "You'll have to hold them off long enough for us to get into the palace and capture him."

"The difficulty will be getting into the throne room," Panaka offered. "Once we get inside, there shouldn't be a problem."

"There is a possibility with this diversion that many Gungans will be killed," Qui-Gon warned, trying to ignore Obi-Wan, who had been silent and withdrawn since their argument earlier.

"Weesa ready to do-a our-sa part," Nass exclaimed, thumping his chest.

"We have a plan, your Honor, which should immobilize the droid army and help your efforts," Amidala continued, directly addressing the Gungan. "Once we're inside, we will send what pilots we have to knock out the droid control ship in orbit. We have been given certain information to help us do that."

"We have twenty-two pilots available, Highness," Panaka said. "Twenty-two against an entire droid phalanx."

"Yes, Captain, but six of those will have the pass code to the control ship's security console," she pointed out with a grin. "Three will leave with the main force, three will leave five minutes later. As long as one gets through, we'll win." Amidala turned, smiling at Qui-Gon. "What do you think, Master Jedi?"

"A well-conceived plan," Qui-Gon conceded. "There is great risk to it. However, it's unexpected, and with the Gungan diversion, it just might work."

"It has to work," Amidala said seriously. "Everything depends on our capturing the Viceroy. It's the only chance we've got." She turned to Obi-Wan, who was standing a bit off to the side. "You've been quiet, Knight Kenobi. What can you tell me about what may happen?"

Regarding her seriously, he answered her, his voice soft. "You're right on target. Will we be leaving at first light then?"

Frowning, she nodded. "Yes, that would be best. We need to strike now. Your Honor, will your troops be ready in the morning?"

"Wesa being ready whenever yousa say!" the broad Gungan replied, laughing.

With that, the party broke up to set up the encampment. Nass left with his lieutenants to get everything ready for their desperate stand in the morning. The Queen's guard had pitched small tents deep in the woods for everyone in the party; the Jedi were sharing again, but at least this time there were two bedrolls rather than one bed.

Dinner was quiet and cold, as no one wanted to risk a fire. When the sun set, darkness fell quickly; Panaka set the watch and then had everyone turn in. A hand to Qui-Gon's arm as he turned towards his tent had him turning to the dark Captain.

"Master Qui-Gon," Panaka said quietly. "A word with you?"

"Certainly, Captain," Qui-Gon responded, following him to the edge of camp.

Panaka wasted no time. "The Queen is worried about Knight Kenobi," he said, "and frankly, so am I. Is he all right? He hasn't been acting... well, normal... lately."

"It's been very hard on him, Captain," Qui-Gon said, sighing. "I think he feels as though he's been yanked around by fate."

Looking upset and worried, Panaka nodded. "When I first heard his story, I thought he was mad. But now... he knows everything. He truly has lived through this before, hasn't he?"

"Yes." Qui-Gon looked through the trees at the little tent where the object of their discussion lay. "It isn't a happy memory for him, either. But he will be all right," Qui-Gon reassured the man. "Tomorrow, everything will be resolved." //For all of us,// he added silently.

"Well, then," Panaka sighed. "If there's anything I can do, please let me know."

"I will. Thank you for your concern." Qui-Gon turned away and made his way to his tent, mulling the Captain's words over in his mind. Ducking down, he entered the tent to find Obi-Wan in lotus, apparently meditating.

"He's here." Qui-Gon turned and looked at his companion, who was not meditating after all.

"Who's here?" Qui-Gon asked carefully.

"Maul. He's here. I can sense him, distantly."

"Ah." Qui-Gon sat on his bedroll, removed his boots and utility belt and pulled his pack to him. After a moment's rummaging, he came up with a wide-toothed comb, which he used on his hair after removing the tie. "Do you think he felt you?" he finally asked, as nonchalantly as he could.

Chewing on his lower lip, Obi-Wan regarded him for a moment before answering. "I rather doubt it. He doesn't know me personally in this reality."

"Then there's nothing we can do right now, is there." It wasn't a question really, but Qui-Gon was careful to avoid looking at the other man as he asked it. He continued to comb his hair until he was satisfied that all the knots were out, then replaced the comb into his pack. "It'll be an early morning; I suggest we try to sleep."

Nodding, Obi-Wan removed his own boots and pulled off his outer tunic before lying down. Turning the small battery light out, Qui-Gon also lay down and pulled the blanket over him. Rolling to one side, he could just barely make out the darker lump next to him that signified Obi-Wan. Although he wanted to say something to the young Knight, to reassure him that everything would be all right, he knew that platitudes would not be welcome this night. Plus, he was afraid -- terrified, actually -- that Obi-Wan might be right and things might go horribly wrong the next morning.

Releasing his fear into the Force as best he was able, Qui-Gon forced his body to rest.



By the third hour after dawn, they had gotten into the palace grounds. The Jedi, along with the Queen, some of her personal guard and the droid, signaled to a waiting Panaka. Using an old skimmer, the Captain crashed the gates with the rest of the pilots, the guardsmen and the other handmaidens. Obi-Wan moved mechanically, blocking bolts, protecting the Queen and Qui-Gon, looking for a small, tow-headed boy who wasn't there. Shortly, they were in the hangar, followed quickly by the pilots, who ran for their ships as the guard and the Jedi took out the remaining droid guards.

All but three of the ships left the hangar in a loud rush of sound and fury as the defenders fought the Trade Federation droids. R2-D2 was lifted into one of the remaining three Naboo fighters by the automated flight crew, as he had the code and would broadcast it to the other ships. As the last droid was cut down, the icy feeling in the pit of Obi-Wan's stomach grew fingers that reached to every part of his body. Bringing up the rear, following Amidala and her men, Obi-Wan watched the doors to the palace open to reveal a familiar dark-robed figure.

"We'll handle this," he heard Qui-Gon say -- and Obi-Wan had to bite back a scream.

Shedding his robe, Qui-Gon walked through the crowd of people before the door. Reluctantly following, Obi-Wan heard Amidala say, "We'll take the long way around," as she led her people back into the hangar. In slow motion, Obi-Wan watched Maul cast off his robe and bring his 'saber to bear. As the young Knight tossed his own brown robe to the floor, he saw the red blades -- first the left, then the right -- blossom from the long-handled 'saber, and he swallowed against the bile in the back of his throat.

Hearing the familiar snap-hiss-hum of a 'saber near him, Obi-Wan turned his head to see Qui-Gon, taking a ready stance before the Sith, his green 'saber glowing. Qui-Gon, keeping one eye on Maul, looked at him for a long moment, then whispered, "Together, Obi-Wan. Together." Then he smiled.

Slow-moving time suddenly froze. Obi-Wan could hear the thundering beat of his heart in his chest; could hear blaster bolts and yells coming from behind them in the hangar; could hear the creak of leather as Maul shifted his balance; could hear the deadly hum of lightsabers struggling to kill. Then he blinked and drew in a deep breath as time began to move again. He drew his 'saber, ignited it, and turned to face Maul's clone.

He wasn't sure exactly when he realized it was a clone, but it most definitely was. There was a different feel about it, an incompleteness he could sense. But clone or not, it was Maul, and he knew Maul's fighting style. And after nearly three weeks of drilling, so did Qui-Gon.

Though he tried hard to change the direction of the fight, some things could not be altered. Shortly he found himself moving through the doors of the power plant and onto the catwalks that surrounded the power core, still fighting, still parrying and still trying desperately to forget the other battle.

For this battle was not like the previous one. He realized now, now that he was fighting with a Qui-Gon who was not his Master, how the other battle had been influenced by their lingering anger at each other. They had not fought together at Naboo; they had fought apart -- not exactly at odds, but not as a good partnership either.

This time, they fought seamlessly, as a unit. As one person with two bodies. Obi-Wan anticipated the blows, deflected them, and Qui-Gon was there, engaging the opponent before he could turn. Once again, hope blossomed in the young Jedi's heart, and that hope gave him the impetus to fight harder. He grinned fiercely over Maul's shoulder at Qui-Gon, and saw his grin returned.

Obviously sensing he was outmatched, Maul's clone began to fight more aggressively, taking more chances and executing dangerous moves. Time and again he tried to pit the two Jedi against each other; tried to separate them; tried to get one out of commission so he could work on the other. Each time he was foiled; each time, a Jedi anticipated his moves and came back to the attack.

It was probably the clone's desperation, or perhaps it was the fact that both Jedi knew they needed the creature alive if possible, that tipped the balance. On a narrow catwalk, the clone managed to push Obi-Wan back by leaving himself open to attack from Qui-Gon. Narrowly avoiding the deadly green blade, Maul's clone then leapt over Qui-Gon's head in a Force jump and came down on the other side of the surprised man. He teetered on the edge of the suspended walkway for a moment, and Qui-Gon reflexively dropped his guard to reach out.

Obi-Wan screamed as he saw the clone regain his balance and strike out at Qui-Gon, striking the man in the side with the red blade. The smell of burning cloth and skin filled his nostrils and the red of the blade filled his vision. Qui-Gon went down, and Obi-Wan leaped up. Using the Force to help him, he launched himself feet first over Qui-Gon's head and directly into the clone's chest. Somehow, he managed to avoid the red 'saber, although he felt it sizzle off a few centimeters of his hair.

Then he was actively trying to avoid it as he landed on the clone's chest, driving out air and feeling bones crack under his boots. Shoving himself off the creature's chest -- not worrying about hurting it, after all, orders were 'alive' and that was all -- he tucked and rolled into a somersault, regaining his feet immediately, kicking the foul red 'saber out of the way and dropping his own relit blade to the clone's throat. He was completely unaware of the choking sobs and tears pouring out of him as he began to drive his 'saber forward to decapitate the thing that had killed the man he loved -- again.

"Obi... no..." Qui-Gon was struggling to his knees, his left hand pressed against his right side, where his tunic was in burnt tatters and his skin was blackened.

Blinking, Obi-Wan felt his jaw drop. "Qui-Gon?" he whispered.

A sudden snarl beneath him was all the warning he had before the clone reached up to pull him off his feet. Barely able to dance away, Obi-Wan deactivated his 'saber and brought it crashing down on the horned and tattooed head, as hard as he could. The clone dropped like a stone, blood pouring from its scalp and mingling with the vivid red of its tattoos.

Uncaring, Obi-Wan leapt over the body and ran to Qui-Gon, skidding to a stop on his knees and tenderly searching the big man's body for damage. "You're alive," he whispered, over and over, until Qui-Gon laughed painfully.

"I told you I wasn't going to die," he rasped, wincing as Obi-Wan tried to look at his side. "Shit! That hurts... but I almost did die when I saw you go over me. You damn fool, you could have gotten yourself skewered... stop that, I'm all right... and if you ever do anything like that..."

Laughing, crying, Obi-Wan just grabbed the beloved, bearded face and kissed Qui-Gon hard. When he broke the kiss he discovered that he was not alone in his tears, and he pressed his forehead against Qui-Gon's, panting. "As if I'm the only one that did something stupid..." he finally gasped out. "That... that's going to need bacta," he continued, referring to the other man's injury.

"The sooner the better," hissed Qui-Gon in agreement. "The collar, Obi-Wan, get the collar and the binders on him now. We can't take the chance of him waking up."

"I think I gave him a concussion," Obi-Wan said, torn between panic and hysterical laughter.

Fixing the Force-dampening collar and binders on the clone, Obi-Wan suddenly remembered the real Maul. As soon as he did, the sense of oppressiveness he had felt without realizing it increased, and he rocked back on his heels, calling his 'saber to his hand. "Maul!" he shouted. Qui-Gon looked at him in surprise, then painfully tried to assume a defensive position. "I know you're there, I know this was a clone. Listen to me! You have to listen! Palpatine is finished, Maul, he's through. We know all about him, and this damn clone is going to be his death-knell. You're free. Do you hear me? You. Are. Free."

Once the echoes of his shouting subsided, there was dead silence in the massive chamber. He could feel Maul, knew he was there somewhere, but also could feel his indecision. "You're free, Maul," he said again, quieter, aware that the man could still hear him. "He won't bother you any more. I swear it. Go in peace, my friend. Know that you will always have a home with the Jedi."

There was a spike of shock -- and something else -- over the Force that both men could feel. Then, slowly, the feeling of danger, of misery, drained away, leaving them truly alone. Obi-Wan put his 'saber back on his belt and hung his head. "It's over," he whispered.

"All but the shouting," Qui-Gon agreed, wincing as he replaced his own weapon. Obi-Wan was there instantly, helping the bigger man to his feet and supporting him.

"Can you make it back to the hangar?" he asked.

"Yes, I'll be all right," Qui-Gon insisted, walking carefully. "Let me help you pick up this baggage," he added.

Smiling wryly, Obi-Wan grabbed both black boots. "Why?" he asked, dragging the body behind him. "It only has to get there in one piece."

Chuckling painfully, Qui-Gon followed Obi-Wan as he dragged the clone out of the power plant.



"Now, Viceroy," Amidala said, a little smile playing about her face, "you're going to have to go back to the Senate and explain all this."

A nasty grin of his own on his face, Panaka added, "I think you can kiss your trade franchise goodbye."

Obi-Wan fought to keep a smile down. He looked at Amidala and winked, then had to look away when she rolled her eyes at him. "I've had at least as long as you to practice hiding my true feelings, Obi-Wan," she stage-whispered to him, causing her handmaidens to giggle softly.

"Yes, Your Highness," he replied drolly. From beyond the Senate Guard who were escorting the Viceroy and his Second into the waiting craft, he could see the Jedi Council debarking, led by Mace Windu and Yoda. Just behind them, he could see the Supreme Chancellor and Senator Palpatine.

Nodding to Amidala, he walked over to meet the Council half-way, bowing deeply and schooling his features into serenity under his hood. "Knight Kenobi," Windu boomed. "The Jedi Council commends you for a job well done."

"Grieve with you, we do, over your loss," Yoda added.

"Thank you, Master." Obi-Wan bowed again, as the two Senators approached. "Chancellor Valorum, Senator Palpatine," he murmured.

"Knight Kenobi," Valorum said softly. "I'm so sorry. Your loss is all our loss."

"Jinn was a good man," Palpatine added, his voice remarkably hearty for one so upset. "We'll miss him."

"Will you, Senator?" The familiar voice came from behind Palpatine, who whirled, aghast.

Qui-Gon Jinn stood just outside the group of Councilors, who were spreading out carefully, ringing the Senator from Naboo. Quietly and efficiently, Panaka cleared the landing area of all people.

Palpatine noticed none of this. All his attention was focused on a remarkably healthy Qui-Gon striding towards him -- and the hooded figure in chains he was leading. Eyes narrowing, the Senator glared at the tall Jedi Master. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked mildly. "I was told you had been killed by some mysterious warrior."

"Sorry, Senator," Obi-Wan said, and Palpatine turned again to confront the grim young Knight. "Didn't happen. This time, anyway. Though Maul did try, didn't you, Maul?"

Holding himself quite rigid, the Senator stared at Obi-Wan, who looked over the tall man's shoulder. After a moment, Palpatine turned to see Qui-Gon removing the hood from a dazed and bloody Maul, then handing the man off to Valorum and the Senate Guard. "What is the meaning of this?" Palpatine repeated, in a whisper.

"Senator Palpatine of Naboo." Eeth Koth's voice was soft, yet rang throughout the now nearly empty square. "You stand accused of treason and treachery against the Republic; of using your position as Senator of the Republic to further your own cause as a Sith; of coercion, brutalization and the attempted murder of myriad peoples; of attempted murder of Jedi. How do you plead?"

Turning around in a frantic circle, Palpatine found himself ringed by the Jedi Council, flanked by two of the Temple's finest fighters. His face worked, twisting into a mask of hatred and fury. "How dare you," he hissed.

"How do you plead, Senator?" Koth asked again.

"This is YOUR fault!" Palpatine suddenly screamed, whirling on Obi-Wan and stretching out his fingers. Blue lightning leapt from his fingertips to crash into Obi-Wan, hurling him up and out of the circle.

"OBI!" Qui-Gon's scream was anguished. Apparently heedless of the danger, he dashed by Palpatine and out of the ring of Councilors, desperately using the Force to cushion Obi-Wan's fall, and partially succeeding.

Obi-Wan had tucked himself into a ball as soon as he realized what was happening, and as he felt the Force capture him, he tried to turn to land on his hip or buttock. He hit the ground hard, but with less force than he might have, and within seconds was engulfed in a tight embrace.

"Force, are you all right? Talk to me...! Gods, Obi-Wan..." Qui-Gon pleaded in a broken voice.

"Fine..." gasped the younger man. "I'll be fine...Sith... he packs a punch..."

A shrill scream from behind them made them turn. Qui-Gon still cradled Obi-Wan in his arms, and his hands tightened as he looked back at the ring of Jedi.

A black Force dome, shot with multi-colored lightning, arched over the Council and the Senator. Through the light show, they could just barely see a dim outline that was Palpatine, screaming and releasing Dark Force energy at a fearsome rate. As Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon watched, one of the Councilors dropped, and the circle narrowed to make up for the loss.

"We need to..." Obi-Wan began, looking at Qui-Gon and rubbing his chest absently. He had a large burned hole in his tunic and could feel a blister forming on the skin underneath.

"Yes," Qui-Gon replied. "Are you up to it?"

"Yes."

Qui-Gon helped him stand and together they moved over to the Councilors, lending their not inconsiderable strength to the battle. It might have lasted a day... it might have lasted seconds. It was impossible to tell; the very sun was darkened and all of Naboo held its breath. But finally, with one shattering, wailing scream, the being known variously as Darth Sidious or Senator Palpatine of Naboo released the last of his energy and collapsed in on himself.

The Force dome slowly dissipated. Two more Councilors fell and all of them looked ready to go down. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan leaned on each other, gasping for breath. Little Yaddle slowly walked to the center of the circle, where a heap of smoldering cloth lay. She prodded it with one foot, grimacing in disgust as black dust rose.

"Over, it is," she said, sighing.

Slowly, the sun came back, and healers came at a run to tend those that had fallen. Obi-Wan collapsed into Qui-Gon's arms, a smile on his face despite the pain of his burns.



It was a long trip back to Coruscant. They went aboard the Senate's flagship, which had room for every Councilor and every other Jedi as well -- an individual room. And Qui-Gon stayed out of Obi-Wan's way.

The giddy happiness that had first washed over him when he realized that Qui-Gon had not died at Maul's hands had finally subsided, leaving in its place a fairly numb throbbing. Qui-Gon did not appear to be actively avoiding him, but was not seeking him out either. Obi-Wan knew he was spending a lot of time with Chancellor Valorum, who had been more than a bit upset over the deception that had made him think a good friend was dead. But looking at his heart, Obi-Wan couldn't decide if he actually wanted to be with Qui-Gon or not.

For nearly the first time since his journey began, the Force was silent, quiescent in his head. He felt no proddings to get moving, no sense that there was something else to accomplish. Instead of reassuring him, paradoxically this only made him angrier, certain that the Force was waiting to spring another trap on him. He knew that once back on Coruscant, he'd be seeking his quiet little spot in the garden.

Meditation did little to ease his upset either. He began spending time in the large observation lounge, staring mindlessly at the stars streaking by, doing nothing but counting the hours until planetfall. That was where Yoda found him, two days before Coruscant.

Obi-Wan knew the little green Master was in the room, and smiled as he stumped his way across the thick, plush carpeting. Yoda hoisted himself onto the bench across from the young Knight and calmly stared at him. Finally, Obi-Wan turned his head and returned the stare.

"How are Masters Koth and Gallia faring?" he finally asked, since it was apparent Yoda would not break the silence.

"Better, they are," Yoda said. "Join the Force now they will not. Not like Plo Koon."

"IÕm sorry," Obi-Wan said softly.

Yoda's ears drooped marginally. "Death there is not," he sighed.

Smiling faintly, Obi-Wan turned back to the windows. Another long silence was finally broken by Yoda, this time. "Problem, you have?" he asked.

Shrugging, the young Knight looked down at his hands. "Not really. I'm just -- tired, Master. Very, very tired."

The large, glowing eyes were unusually inscrutable, even for Yoda. "Rest, then, you should. Move on you should not."

"Move on I probably will," Obi-Wan contradicted softly, still not looking at the Master. "As soon as I return, most likely."

"Why?"

Chuckling painfully, Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Why do you always ask the hard questions, Master?" he asked.

To his surprise, Yoda also chuckled. "Simple question, it is. Answer... answer is difficult. Proper terms always you should use." After a moment, he added, "When answering simple question, especially."

Sighing, Obi-Wan swallowed hard and spoke haltingly. "I'm going to move on... I guess... because this isn't home. Not my home, anyway."

"Know this, do you?"

"Well, yes, I guess," Obi-Wan replied. "Qui-Gon doesn't love me... he's fond of me, I suppose. But this isn't my home with him. We... we're not that compatible. We, uh, fight a lot."

"Stubborn, he is," Yoda said thoughtfully, nodding in understanding. "Idiot, also. But healed too, I sense. Better, he is now; due to you, this is."

"Possibly." Obi-Wan took a deep breath, held it, then slowly released it, trying to drain the tension in his body. "I thought... well. I hope I've helped him. I'm sure that was what the Force wanted me to do here, as well as see to Palpatine."

Cocking his head to one side, Yoda said, "Asked the Force have you, if move on you should?"

"Meaning no disrespect, Master," Obi-Wan replied, "but I usually don't have to do that any more. The Force generally just bellows in my ear. I'm expecting that as soon as we land."

"Hmmmm," was his companion's only remark. They sat together in silence for a long while, Obi-Wan struggling with his demons and Yoda watching him.

Finally, the little green Master stood and stretched. "Dinner time it is. Good cook has Valorum, miss dinner I will not. When 850 years old you are, look forward to good meals you will also." Before he turned to go, he laid one hoary claw gently on Obi-Wan's knee. "Loves you he does," Yoda said softly. "Home this could be for you. Think well you should, before decision you make."

Troubled gray-green eyes followed the small Master as he stumped out of the lounge.



Qui-Gon had spent most of the transit to Coruscant in the quarters that had been provided to him, meditating. Their first night out he had gotten Finis Valorum quite drunk while apologizing for the necessity of tricking him. The Supreme Chancellor had been intensely offended at the depth of Palpatine's treachery and duplicity, and was still in shock over seeing the man reduced to a puddle of burnt cloth and ash.

But since then, he had remained in his quarters... all right, hidden in his quarters, he admitted to himself. Though 'The Pride of Coruscant' was a large ship, he didn't want to take the chance that he might run into a certain young Jedi Knight. Not until he knew his own heart better.

Knowing his heart had proven difficult. The young man in question was aggravating, irritating, and captivating. Qui-Gon's heart leapt into his throat at the mere thought of the Knight's dangerous leap into the clone; he nearly died a thousand deaths when the lithe body flew over his. Whenever he tried to calmly and rationally examine his feelings, his body wanted to remember the feel of that same body under his, writhing in pleasure and crying out in completion. Something was going to have to give, and Qui-Gon was afraid it was going to be his sanity... particularly if Obi-Wan left him for another reality.

A rap at his door signaled a visitor with a very familiar Force signature. "Come in, Master," he called out.

Yoda stamped into the luxurious room and stood glaring at his former Padawan. Regarding the small being mildly, Qui-Gon smiled but said nothing. He was well aware that he could find out just how upset Yoda really was by seeing how long it took him to speak. The shorter the time, the greater the level of aggravation. In this case, it didn't take long for Yoda to start speaking.

"Explain to me, you will, what is wrong with Knight Kenobi," Yoda snapped out. He continued walking across the carpet to join Qui-Gon on the floor in lotus.

"I don't know if I understand the question," Qui-Gon hedged. "He should be physically healed. But," he added hurriedly, as a gimer stick was raised threateningly, "I'm sure that's not what you mean."

"Hrrrrumph." Yellow eyes narrowed, and green ears drooped ever so slightly. "Brooding he is," Yoda finally allowed. "Upset, he is, over something. His home he thinks this is not."

Qui-Gon's head sagged to his chest at those words, and he sighed. "I was afraid of that," he muttered. "He's planning on leaving, isn't he." Yoda didn't answer, but continued to regard the man before him. Finally Qui-Gon's head came slowly back up, and he met his Master's eyes. "I don't want him to leave," he whispered.

"Love him, do you?" Yoda asked, his voice brooking no arguments.

Choking, Qui-Gon bit his lip then finally said, "Yes."

"Tell him then, you should. Idiot you have been; idiot you should not be now. Tell him."

Smiling weakly, Qui-Gon said softly, "But he doesn't love me, Master."

"Know that you do not," Yoda snapped out, then rose. "Humans. Bah. Driven by hormones you are. Pitiful, it is." As he reached the door, he turned and shot Qui-Gon one more glare. "Stay, Knight Kenobi should. Need him we do. Need him YOU do. Talk to him you will, Padawan."

"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon replied.



It was late, ship's time. Obi-Wan was in the beautifully-appointed room he had been given for the journey, wearing only a pair of thin leggings and lying on the huge, soft bed, staring at the dimly-lit ceiling. He had not slept well on the trip, and did not expect to sleep well this night, the last night before reaching Coruscant. The answer to his insomnia was elsewhere on the ship, but he had no desire to seek it out.

A soft, hesitant knock at his door made him sit up, puzzled. "Enter," he called, pushing himself all the way up to sit on the edge of the bed. The door slid open to reveal Qui-Gon.

"I... I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked. He held a bottle and two glasses in one hand.

Snorting in a kind of amusement at the thought Obi-Wan stood. "No. I... no. Come in."

Swallowing nervously, Qui-Gon did so, stopping just inside the door. "I've brought something to drink, some wine, I thought... well... I thought we might... talk."

Smiling slightly, Obi-Wan indicated a chair, inviting the bigger man to sit. "Talk. What a novel idea."

"Well," Qui-Gon's chuckle was strained as he took the seat and began working the cork out of the bottle, "we, uh, haven't been very good at it, have we."

"Not exactly." Obi-Wan accepted a glass of the pale golden wine and sat in the other chair, across the small cocktail table from Qui-Gon. "And it's probably as much my fault as yours."

Grimacing, Qui-Gon said, "I won't contradict you." Tapping his glass to Obi-Wan's, he sipped, then put it on the table between them. "I, um, I had a visit. From my meddlesome Master -- about you."

"Hmm," Obi-Wan said, sipping his wine and looking anywhere but at Qui-Gon. "Let me guess. He's upset with you."

One side of Qui-Gon's mouth turned up in a smile. "I love my Master dearly, but there are times when I could cheerfully strangle him. He told me... he said you were planning on leaving."

Obi-Wan half shrugged, still not looking up at Qui-Gon. "Not until we get back to Coruscant, at least," he murmured.

"Why, Obi?" Qui-Gon leaned on the table and regarded his companion earnestly. "Why? Do you have to?"

Frowning and rubbing his forehead, Obi-Wan answered tersely. "If you mean, has the Force told me to, no, not in so many words. But I've been at this for years, Qui-Gon. Years. If it doesn't tell me now, it'll tell me tomorrow. Or next week. It makes no sense for me to become complacent. Leaving now is the best thing."

"I don't want you to go."

"Well, that's not really up to you, is it?" Obi-Wan stood and began to pace. "We're Jedi... we're Jedi first, as you so recently pointed out to me. And Jedi are nothing if not whores to the Force. Whatever the Force wants us to do, we do. Right?"

Stopping his pacing, he turned and really looked at Qui-Gon. The older man sat in his chair, an anguished look on his face. "That's not exactly how I would put it," he said quietly. "But I think I can understand what you mean."

"'Not how you'd put it.' No, I guess not. But it's the truth." Obi-Wan walked back to the table, picked up his glass and drained it. Rolling the empty glass between his hands, he added, softly, "There's really no reason for me to stay."

Picking up his own glass, Qui-Gon drained it as well. "There's me," he said quietly. // Don't mess this up, Jinn, // he was thinking frantically to himself.

"Is there?" There was no malice or sarcasm in Obi-Wan's question, just a tired acceptance.

"Yes. There is." Qui-Gon debated standing, decided against it. "I meant what I said. I don't want you to go. And Yoda... Yoda says the Order needs you. He's right."

Intense gray-green eyes bored into his own, made Qui-Gon look away. "Yoda says that. Ah. So that's why you want me to stay."

"No! Well, no, that's not the only reason..." Giving in to his nervousness, Qui-Gon stood and began pacing himself. Obi-Wan remained in one place and watched him intently. "Force take it, Obi-Wan, I have no right to ask you to stay on my behalf. All that you've done... all that you've seen and experienced..." He swallowed. "You're twice -- three times! -- the Jedi I'll ever be."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is! Experience makes the man, and Obi, you've more experience in your little finger than I have in my body. You've endured things..." He stopped and looked back at the younger man. "When you told me about what had happened to you... I'm not sure I would have remained sane, Obi-Wan. Not sure at all."

"I'm not sure I did either." Obi-Wan had to look away from the sympathetic blue eyes; he turned and poured himself more wine. "The... the only thing that kept me aware was you. Knowing I'd have a home some day. With you." That last was said so softly Qui-Gon almost missed it.

Not knowing how to respond to that, Qui-Gon looked down and swallowed against the lump in his throat. After a painful silence, he muttered, "And here I thought you were just trying to kill yourself, leaping into the clone like you did."

Obi-Wan snorted. "I wouldn't have had to had you not left yourself so wide open like you did."

"I did not," Qui-Gon protested mildly, pouring himself more wine and sipping it.

"Yes, you did," Obi-Wan said, frowning. "Right after he jumped over you. You dropped your guard and that let him hit you. Gods! I thought for a moment he had chopped you in two. You reached out to him! Chivalry is one thing, but that was lunacy."

Also frowning, in concentration, Qui-Gon replayed the battle in his mind. "I'm sure I..." he started.

"Qui-Gon, I know what I saw," Obi-Wan said, with some exasperation. "Had you not dropped your guard like that, he wouldn't have gotten to you."

Grimacing, feeling a bit put-upon, Qui-Gon said, "Fine. You're probably the better swordsman anyway, you should know."

"What does that mean?" Obi-Wan demanded acidly. "You trained me, you know."

"No, I did not," Qui-Gon said, clearly and precisely. "Yes, you were trained by Qui-Gon Jinn, I acknowledge that now, but it wasn't me."

"Same thing," Obi-Wan said sullenly.

"No, it's not," Qui-Gon insisted, the younger man's attitude causing an irrational anger to surge through him. "Your Master didn't let you die as a child!"

"Oh, here we go again," Obi-Wan threw up his hands in disgust. "I have to tell you, Qui-Gon, this self-pity is really getting to me."

His mouth dropping open, Qui-Gon's eyes snapped up to Obi-Wan's. "My self-pity? MINE? Coming from you, that's hilarious, Knight Kenobi. From what I've seen, you have a monopoly on the product."

Jaw working furiously, Obi-Wan snapped, "I think we've said enough. I know I've heard enough."

"You haven't heard anything," Qui-Gon growled. "We're going to settle this, here and now."

"Settle what?!" Obi-Wan nearly yelled. "The fact that we're incompatible? The fact that you've been wallowing in your own regrets and self-pity for the last dozen years? The fact that I'm damaged beyond repair? Just WHAT do you want to settle, Qui-Gon?"

"You are NOT damaged!" Qui-Gon roared. "YES, I've been wallowing, but that's over now, thanks to you, and I'm moving on finally! Just like YOU need to!"

"This is ridiculous. I don't know why I ever expected..." Obi-Wan stalked towards the door, apparently intending on leaving the room. Qui-Gon grabbed Obi-Wan's upper arms and turned abruptly, forcing them into the wall, pressing his larger bulk up against the smaller man.

"And we are NOT incompatible!" he ground out, then leaned down and took Obi-Wan's mouth with his own in a bruising, demanding kiss.

For a melting moment, Obi-Wan returned the kiss in shock and flaming desire. Then he wrenched his arms away from the other man and shoved, using the Force to augment his strength. Qui-Gon flew back, stumbling, nearly crashing into the bed. "How DARE you!" Obi-Wan screamed.

Still dazed by the intensity of the kiss, Qui-Gon merely blinked at him, seeing only reddened lips and heightened color, wanting to taste again. "I--" he began, panting.

"You fucking BASTARD! What the HELL do you think you're doing?" Obi-Wan demanded, stalking towards the bigger man menacingly.

"Gods damn it all, Obi!" Qui-Gon finally yelled back. "I lo..."

"How DARE you kiss me when I'm yelling at you!" Gray-green eyes grew wider and wilder the closer he got to Qui-Gon.

"I was trying to say, I love ummph!" All the wind and words were driven out of Qui-Gon as he was tackled to fall backwards on the bed, his arms filled with a suddenly amorous Obi-Wan, who then began kissing him passionately. Surprised into immobility for a moment, his brain had the good sense to tell him not to question the windfall, to just accept it, and enthusiastically, he did so.

Rolling them over so that he was on top, he dove into the sweet warmth of Obi-Wan's mouth, dancing with his tongue and tasting every corner, not caring who was producing the passionate moans he heard. It didn't take long for either of them to decide that Qui-Gon was overdressed. Frantically, they tore at the big man's clothing until he, like Obi-Wan, was down to his leggings, never breaking their kisses, nips, and licks over every inch of skin they could reach.

As the smooth expanse of chest was revealed to him, Obi-Wan bent his head and latched onto one of Qui-Gon's nipples, nibbling and sucking, relishing the gasps his actions produced. Qui-Gon's hands meanwhile roamed over soft skin, caressing and rubbing, diving down past the waistband of pants to explore the firm globes of Obi-Wan's ass, pulling his body closer.

Suddenly it wasn't close enough. Scrabbling at buttons, both men nearly destroyed their pants to get them off each other, pushing and shoving the offending cloth out of the way. With another hard shove, Obi-Wan flipped them over, yanking the short boots Qui-Gon wore out of the way as he pushed off the other man's pants. Then, without a word, he dove down and took Qui-Gon's erection into his mouth.

"Oh GODS Obi-WAN...!" Desperately arching, hands gripping the bedclothes to avoid bruising his companion, Qui-Gon screamed as the hot suction surrounded his cock. Obi-Wan seemed intent on bringing him off as soon as possible, sucking strongly, dragging his tongue up and down the big vein, teasing the extra-sensitive spot just behind the head.

"No.. no...stop... wait, you've... no... oh nonoNO!" Moaning continuously, Qui-Gon was unable to contain himself, and with a roar he came, every muscle in his body arching, every nerve ending firing.

After the first spurt, Obi-Wan pulled back, capturing the semen in his hand and coating his fingers. As Qui-Gon relaxed, boneless, to the bed, Obi-Wan dragged his slick fingers down the bigger man's perineum to the entrance of his body, circling and gently pressing. "I want to be inside you," he gasped. Qui-Gon closed his eyes and groaned. Obi-Wan's words went straight to the pleasure centers of his brain, which were already overloaded, spinning them out of control.

"Yes," Qui-Gon whispered, spreading his legs wider with shaking hands. "Oh, little gods yes, please, Obi, please..."

The younger man latched onto his mouth and ate his words, even as two of his fingers dove inside the tight heat of Qui-Gon's body. One of Qui-Gon's hands wrapped itself in Obi-Wan's hair, trembling harder as talented fingers opened him. "Turn over," Obi-Wan murmured, helping the big man turn to his side.

Spooning up behind him, Obi-Wan used the remaining come to coat his erection and then pressed it to the loosened muscle. He was too far gone to go slowly but tried to hold back as best he could, not wanting to hurt Qui-Gon. But the ecstatic cries coming from his bedmate inflamed him, and Qui-Gon pressed back against him until suddenly he was balls-deep inside tight heat, and it was like coming home.

Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan rested his forehead on Qui-Gon's back, mingling his sweat with his lover's, trying to keep from coming, trying to keep breathing. Qui-Gon reached for his hand and pulled it around to his mouth, then licked the palm, making Obi-Wan groan. As their hands drifted down to Qui-Gon's rapidly hardening penis, Obi-Wan began to thrust. "Yes," Qui-Gon hissed, the pleasure at being filled nearly overwhelming him.

Pushing slightly, Obi-Wan tipped the larger man over farther, getting deeper as he thrust. Sobbing with pleasure, he sped up, pulling himself out and shoving back in as deeply as he could, trying with each push to rake over Qui-Gon's prostate. Their joined hands mimicked his actions over Qui-Gon's now rock-hard erection.

Each thrust was met with a cry from Qui-Gon; each cry Obi-Wan heard sent a spike of pure pleasure through him, making him mewl with delight. He couldn't last long, there was no way he could last, and the building pressure threatened to take the top of his head off.

Then he managed to push in at just the right angle to slam against the small gland deep inside Qui-Gon, which made the older man scream hoarsely and come explosively. The resultant spasms around Obi-Wan's cock were the last straw, and he wailed, arching back in rigid ecstasy, driving deep to empty himself into the willing receptacle.

For the two lovers, the world grayed out for a while.



Obi-Wan came back to himself feeling deliciously languid. He was enveloped in strong arms and legs, spooned up against a smooth chest. After a few minutes, he remembered who he was, and where he was, and who he was with; he let the quick spike of tension go with a sigh.

Qui-Gon felt the tension, and the sigh, and relaxed himself. He kissed sweaty hair under his cheek and settled Obi-Wan closer to him. Neither man said a word, not wanting to break the sweet moment.

The musical chime of the comm unit by the bed was what finally brought them out of their languor. Deliberately moving so that he would not have to leave much of Qui-Gon's embrace, Obi-Wan made a long arm and reached for the unit, activating voice only. "Kenobi," he answered it, his voice a bit raspy.

"Knight Kenobi? Mace Windu." The Councilor's voice was apologetic. "Sorry if I woke you..."

"No, it's all right," Obi-Wan said. "What can I do for you?"

"Ah... well, is there any possibility that Qui-Gon is with you?"

Shooting his companion a wry look, Obi-Wan chuckled. Qui-Gon leaned over his shoulder and said, "I'm here Mace. What's up?"

"Oh, good. Sorry to have bothered you, Qui, but we'll be dropping out of hyperspace in a bit more than an hour. We're going to have to attend a special session of the Senate at third hour, and the Council wants you there."

"That's fine, Mace," Qui-Gon said, unconsciously nuzzling the tawny hair under his nose. "What's the time now?"

"It's just nineteenth. We should be in the Temple by twenty-two. Is that enough time?"

"A gracious plenty. Thanks for the warning," Qui-Gon answered.

"Oh, and before I go, Yoda asked me to tell you, he'd like to see you in his room before we debark. On your way out would be fine."

"Thank you Mace, I'll see him in a bit." Qui-Gon moved from nuzzling the hair to the neck, breathing in deeply of the scent that was fast proving addictive to him.

"You're welcome. Out." With a soft beep, the unit shut off, and Obi-Wan twisted until he was facing the older man.

Tracing his nose with one blunt finger, Qui-Gon looked deeply into gray-green eyes. "Good morning, I guess," he said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan replied. "No dreams that I can remember. Thank you for cleaning us up."

"My pleasure," Qui-Gon rumbled softly. "It's not like Finis can't afford a few stains, though. This barge is positively sybaritic."

Answering some deep urge, Obi-Wan reached up and took Qui-Gon's lips in a soft kiss, licking once to savor the taste of the bigger man. Qui-Gon returned the kiss, pressing gently, tentatively, stroking back hair that was flying every which way.

The kiss continued, slowly gaining heat as they explored each other's mouths -- territory at once new and increasingly familiar. Qui-Gon rolled slowly over to his back and Obi-Wan followed him, spreading himself over the bigger man like a blanket, moaning as Qui-Gon's hands pulled him into a tighter embrace.

Arousal spiked, causing breathing to increase and hearts to pound. Writhing now, Obi-Wan buried his head in Qui-Gon's neck, nibbling and sucking, then rolled his weight over, bringing his companion with him. Pulling back slightly, Qui-Gon's lust-dazed blue eyes locked onto Obi-Wan's beneath him, trying to convey everything without words.

"Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan gasped. "Would you make love to me, please?"

Groaning, Qui-Gon closed his eyes and swallowed, then dove back down for another mind-blowing kiss. When he could think somewhat again, he pulled back away, then stood, dragging himself into the 'fresher for the tube of cream he had noticed the night before. Although it didn't take him long, he still hurried back, wanting the heat and taste again.

Diving back into the bed, he quickly covered Obi-Wan's body with his own, desperate to taste and touch every square centimeter. Turning the younger man away from him, he pushed aside Obi-Wan's hair and began licking his neck, nibbling on an earlobe or a convenient patch of skin, while one hand, its fingers slicked, moved down towards the entrance to the Knight's body. As one blunt finger invaded, Obi-Wan arched and hissed in pleasure.

"Hot," Qui-Gon murmured between kisses and nips, pretty much reduced to single syllable words. "Tight. Obi...Force."

"Want it," Obi-Wan groaned, nearly pre-verbal himself. "More, please. Please."

"Don't... don't let me hurt..."

"No. You won't. GODS!" Obi-Wan's eyes closed as second finger followed its mate, bringing more lubricant. "Now, please..."

"No," Qui-Gon was panting now, rigid in anticipation. "I won't... hurt... you."

Burying his head in the pillow, Obi-Wan fought for control, caught on the knife edge of pleasure and fear. He wanted Qui-Gon so badly it was like a huge, overwhelming ache throughout his body; yet at the same time, he feared the intimacy so much he trembled. Qui-Gon added another finger and more lubricant, gently urging his muscles to relax. Kisses and licks still rained down on Obi-Wan's neck and back, followed by the occasional nip to his earlobe.

Finally, Qui-Gon decided he was ready, and urged him to get onto his knees. "NO!" Obi-Wan surprised himself by nearly shouting. "I'm sorry... can't...don't think I can do it that way... need to see you, please, I'm sorry..." he was babbling in his unexpected trepidation and Qui-Gon instantly soothed him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"It's all right," he said, shifting Obi-Wan's body until the younger man was on his back. "It's all right. We'll do it like this, are you sure...?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan replied, still trembling. He lifted his legs, exposing himself to Qui-Gon's gaze, looking deeply into the other man's eyes. "Yes. Please, Qui-Gon."

Gently draping himself over Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon held that gray-green regard and slowly began to breach the pucker of Obi-Wan's anus. It took an effort not to come immediately when the intense heat and tightness surrounded him. Obi-Wan gasped and arched, unconsciously moving so that Qui-Gon went deeper, his mouth slack with the intensity of it.

"Little... gods...Obi... so...good..." Qui-Gon paused in his pushing, pulled slightly out and thrust ever so gently. Obi-Wan's eyes rolled back into his head and he wailed, the pleasure so intense he felt he was going to pass out. Gently, firmly, Qui-Gon kept pushing in, allowing Obi-Wan all the time he needed to adjust by dint of iron control.

Finally, he was all the way in, encased in a sheath so good it could have been made for him. His gentle thrusts became firmer, less tentative, deeper, and agonizingly good. Obi-Wan lay on his back, his knees pushed up to his armpits, reveling in the friction and joy of being able to do this again, to do it with Qui-Gon...

Eyes focusing once again, he looked into the blue depths hovering above him, seeing nothing but love and intense, mind-blowing pleasure. The sheer joy of it sent him hurtling towards the edge. "Going... to come...Qui-Gon..." he managed to get out, in a nearly conversational voice.

"No... wait," Qui-Gon gasped, rocking deeper and harder.

"Sorry... can't..." His eyes sagged shut as his come fountained between them, the strained cry of his release almost inaudible.

Grunting, his arms trembling where they held him up, Qui-Gon followed, spilling himself deep and hard. It took all his strength to avoid collapsing on top of the man beneath him, but he managed, turning himself to the side and burying his face in Obi-Wan's sweaty hair. "I love you," he whispered, as he let himself go boneless. He was too sated to hear any reply his lover made.



Qui-Gon Jinn knelt on the meditation mat in his apartment. A shaft of sunlight from the window behind him warmed his back as he let his mind drift. Within a few hours, he was expected to attend a special session of the Republic Senate, but he had other commitments that he considered much more important to take care of first.

A sudden pounding at his door made his eyes fly open. "Come in, it's not locked," he called.

An irate Obi-Wan Kenobi, his backpack over one shoulder, nearly leapt into the room as soon as the door slid open. "All right, where is it?" he demanded, his voice harsh.

Mildly regarding him, concealing the trepidation and anguish he truly felt, Qui-Gon answered, "Where is what, Obi-Wan?"

"You know perfectly well what," the young Knight snarled. "My 'saber. The switch. It's not in my backpack, as you well know. Why did you take it?"

"I didn't take it," Qui-Gon said, his voice still mild.

"Like hells you didn't!" Obi-Wan yelled. "Where is it?"

"You were going to leave, weren't you?" A little of his true feelings bled into his words and that brought Obi-Wan up short from his frantic pacing. "You were just going to disappear and not even say goodbye."

Turning away, Obi-Wan let himself sag. "It's better that way," he whispered.

"Better?!" Qui-Gon's voice was incredulous and raw. "Better for whom, Obi-Wan? For you? What about me? What about what we shared last night and this morning?" Holding his emotions under tight rein, he added, "How could you be so harsh, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan could not meet his eyes. "You don't understand..." he began.

"Oh, but I do," Qui-Gon replied, his voice under better control but still dripping pain. He stood and began walking towards the Knight. "You're afraid. It's been so long for you, you've endured so much, you don't think you deserve a home, that you can't handle a home." Swallowing, Qui-Gon stopped a few feet from Obi-Wan, who still refused to look at him. "You're not damaged, Obi-Wan. You're not perfect, but then, neither am I. None of us are, not even that meddlesome troll that used to be my Master."

That got the younger man to turn towards him, his face clearing in surprise. "Yoda. He took it."

"Yes," Qui-Gon confirmed. "He wants you to stay. He says the Force intended you to stay, but that you're not listening. Why aren't you listening?"

Head shaking reflexively, Obi-Wan panted as if on the verge of a panic attack. "I... I don't have to -- to listen...I'll be happy, and it'll -- oh gods, it'll all fall apart..."

"No." Close enough to touch but not daring to, Qui-Gon lowered his voice, hoping to break through Obi-Wan's pain and fear with words. "It's over, Obi-Wan. Stay."

"I CAN'T!" Obi-Wan screamed, striding to the wall where he pounded his fists and head. "Don't you think I want to? But I can't... every time I've been happy, Qui-Gon, I've had to leave. I can't afford to be happy any more!"

His jaw trembling with effort, Qui-Gon fought to keep himself under control. "IÕm not letting you go," he rasped out.

"You can't stop me!" Obi-Wan hurled back.

Qui-Gon snapped. "WATCH ME!" he roared. In one swift movement, he reached into the drawer of his desk, removing the switch 'saber. Giving Obi-Wan only enough time to recognize it as being his, he tossed it up in the air, using the Force to hold it there long enough for him to draw his own 'saber and ignite it. The green blade came crashing down on the other 'saber, in a blaze of ignited metal and wire. The small explosion from the 'saber's power source was nearly drowned out by Obi-Wan's scream.

The switch 'saber lay in multiple pieces on the floor as Qui-Gon thumbed off the power to his 'saber. Meeting and holding Obi-Wan's stunned and shocked eyes with his own, he deliberately took a step forward and stamped on the pieces, grinding them into the floor with his boot heels.

"You broke it," whispered Obi-Wan, appalled.

"No," Qui-Gon contradicted, "I destroyed it. Utterly. Now you can't go. You're home, Obi-Wan. Home."

The confusion and anguish on Obi-Wan's face nearly broke Qui-Gon's heart. "It's over," he said softly, gently, reaching out with one hand to the young man who still stood propped up by the wall. "It's over, and I love you. Do you think maybe you could find it in your heart to love me as well?"

The question was wistful and melted what was left of Obi-Wan's shock. "You are an idiot," he muttered, his eyes filling with tears. "I've loved you since you walked into the conference room with Yoda."

Three steps and they were in each other's arms, holding on tightly. Pieces of 'saber crunched underfoot and neither cared. "I'm home," Obi-Wan whispered, as if trying the words on for size.

There was a lump in Qui-Gon's throat, but he managed to speak around it. "Yes. Will you bond with me, Obi-Wan?"

A brilliant smile was his reply. "Yes, Qui-Gon. Yes." They kissed, slowly, a promise and a bargain that might have led to other things had not two stomachs rumbled, reminding them they had not had breakfast. Breaking the kiss but still holding each other tightly, they laughed, releasing the last of their tension to the Force that was singing between them.

"We have to be in our formals and at the Senate chamber in only a couple of hours," Qui-Gon said, rubbing his hand up and down Obi-Wan's back. "We'd better eat. Then we can spend the next several weeks doing nothing." He smiled down at his fiance, who returned the smile.

"That sounds wonderful," Obi-Wan whispered, holding on tightly to a happiness that threatened to go nova. "Except I have plans, and doing 'nothing' isn't exactly it..." he added, grinning wickedly.

Taking his hand and pulling him towards the kitchenette, Qui-Gon laughed delightedly. "I'm going to hold you to that," he mock-growled. "Let's get some sandwiches or something. I'm running low, but I should have something edible here."

Rummaging in the cold-box, he continued, his voice a bit muffled as he handed food to Obi-Wan behind him. "I've got fruit, and here's some cheese that should still be good, and I know I have some bread in the freezer, oh, and here. You like this? I can't abide it but Mace left some here from the last time we played sabacc..."

Obi-Wan took the brown bottle from Qui-Gon, then staggered and nearly dropped everything in his arms, his mouth sagging open. "Root beer?"

THE END (FINALLY!) OF
RIDING THE WHEEL OF IF