Disclaimer: Yeah, I own them. I can afford to pay several
zillion bucks for licensing rights. Therefore, I'm making lots
of money off this. Right.
Feedback: Yes! Please!! If you hate it tell me that!! I need
feedback!
Author's Notes: This is my first time posting a story and it's
only the second one I've written so be nice! Spoilers for TPM.
No beta so this is all my fault.
The dull hum of the remote sensor filled the small room,
punctuated by the occasional blast and responding sound of a
shot deflected. It was an almost pleasant atmosphere, a young
boy testing his reflexes while his mentor examined the latest
status reports. A knock broke the monotony.
"Can you answer the door?" Obi-Wan, sitting at the table with a
small data pad, asked his apprentice. The boy nodded, lifting
the blindfold off his eyes and opening the door.
"Padme!" Anakin cried happily. She lent down to his level and
gave him a warm hug. Obi-Wan bowed to the young queen and
decided to continue his reading in his sleeping area to give
the two some privacy.
"Look at this, I can fight it with my eyes covered-" he heard
as he changed rooms and sat at his desk.
The notes were dry as desert wind in their official tone and
extremely dull to read. Obi-Wan kept finding his concentration
wandering. Not that he had been able to focus, hadn't slept an
hour through continuously, since the battle. Almost three
months. He had been ordered to remain on Naboo to aid the
rebuilding of the planet, and the burying of the dead.
"Ani!" the mock-outrage of the voice followed by a happy giggle
was more then he could handle. The sounds of youthful
exuberance reminded him of everything he had almost taken for
granted once. Being a Jedi was never easy, and sometimes
extremely dangerous. But as a Padawan he had always retained a
sense of fun, of playfulness, even in the midst of violence and
betrayal. As a Padawan, he had felt safe.
As Qui-Gon's Padawan, his cruel heart reminded him.
The young Knight threw the data pad against the wall angrily,
then pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, his slim
shoulders trembling with sobs held in too long.
"I'm not ready Master, I'm not, I'm not. I can't train someone
as powerful as him. I'm not calm and focused enough to be a
Knight at all. I can't do this without you." No matter what, he
had always stood by his Master's decisions. Even when he knew
that the older man was defying the Jedi code completely. He had
forgiven Qui-Gon anything and everything. But he couldn't
forgive him for leaving his apprentice behind.
"I can't do this, I don't know how..." he said sadly into his
hands, his tired eyes stinging with tears.
//Shhh, young one. You're tired, and should sleep//
"Master?" Obi-Wan's voice was hesitant. So many times when he
was younger his Master had found him almost unconscious over
his studies, had told him to go to sleep, then used the Force
to make him if he would not comply. Obi-Wan had rarely needed
sleep as badly as he did now. But there was no-one left to tell
him to sleep.
His limbs felt heavy, lethargic and slow. His eyelids, sore
from the pressure of his hands and the tears, drooped to
half-mast. Strong hands lifted him from his chair and led him
across the room to his sleeping couch. "Master-" he began
again, his voice filled with fighting against rest he needed so
badly.
//It's all right, I'm here. You need sleep. Whatever happens to
the boy is what was destined. None of it will be your fault//
Obi-Wan wanted to say so much. How what little sleep he got was
filled with visions of darkness, anger, terrible things to
come. How sometimes he re-lived the fight in his sleep, saw
through the red haze of the shield as his world was upended.
Sometimes the figure striking down his master was the red-faced
Sith, sometimes a young man with dark hair and a
crescent-shaped scar on his cheek. Always, invariably, it ended
with Obi-Wan alone. That was the part that woke him up
countless times every night.
Alone. One word, so filled with terror, the emotion that would
drag him down to the dark side if he wasn't strong.
But he wasn't alone, not for this moment at least.
"Master- I-" Obi-Wan's voice was fading, his eyes closing as he
succumbed to the gentle pressure exerted on his mind. "I miss
you." His breathing slowed and evened.
Amidala stepped into the room. The pale figure standing over
the sleeping couch smiled at her, inclining his head slightly
as a small bow.
"Your highness."
"Master Qui-Gon." She replied, smiling in return. The two had
rarely seen eye to eye but had respected the leadership they
both possessed. The Jedi master looked down at the young man
asleep on the couch, stroking the rough stubble behind one ear
where there had until recently been a long braid. Then he faded
from view.
The young woman put the remote back on it's shelf next to other
training tools, then lifted the thick brown blanket from it's
haphazard lump on the floor, smoothing it over the sleeping
Knight. A tear, the only evidence at the terrible heartache
Obi-Wan was feeling, slipped slowly along his tanned cheek. She
leant down, kissing it off gently.
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