Summary: this bit of daftness came to me as the result of a
recent discussion on the list (saying which one would spoil the
fun)
Disclaimer: The stuff you recognize is George's. The other
stuff is my fault.
Author's note: First in the series of Bill stories
Feedback: why not?
"Good afternoon, welcome to the Center for the Emotionally
Confused, how may I help you?"
Obi-Wan winced at the receptionist's voice, which was the
loudest and most grating he had ever heard in a living being.
He was sure they could hear her on the other side of the
planet. "Um, yes, my name's Kenobi...Master Yoda sent me?"
"Ah, yes, Mr. Kenobi. Have a seat out in the waiting area, and
the therapist will be with you shortly."
Looking around, Obi-Wan saw a small alcove just off the
reception area, with a low table, some chairs and a rather
sickly looking potted tree of some kind. There was one man
already seated, reading a book, leaving Obi-Wan with his pick
of an ugly yellow plastic chair, or an equally ugly orange one.
He slid down into the orange one, noting that it was indeed as
uncomfortable as it looked.
"Don't count on it," the man said as Obi-Wan sat down.
"I beg your pardon?"
"The therapist being with you shortly. I was supposed to go in
there a half hour ago. Sure don't envy the guy that's in there
now, that's an awful lot of extra attention." The man looked at
Obi-Wan briefly, before returning to his book.
Great thought Obi-Wan, just what I need, to be stuck
here all afternoon. I don't know how I'm going to explain this
to Master Qui-Gon. Trying to resign himself to the wait, he
rummaged through the stack of magazines on the table. Gungan's
Quarterly, some Reader's Digests that were almost as old as he
was, and the swimsuit issue of Hutt's Illustrated. His stomach
turned even at the thought of it. He left the magazines in
their pile and settled back in his chair.
"First time here, right?" The man had lowered his book, and was
looking sympathetically at Obi-Wan.
"How did you know?"
"After a few visits, you learn to bring your own entertainment
to pass the time. Gum?"
Obi-Wan smiled and shook his head. "No, thank you." There was
something about this guy that immediately put him at ease,
although he couldn't quite figure out what it was.
"So what did they send a nice kid like you down here for?"
Obi-Wan blushed. "Conduct unbecoming a Jedi" he mumbled. Yoda's
words came back to him. Your master he is. Mistaken, your
feelings are. Professional help need you to search them. He
still couldn't figure out how Master Yoda had known. He was
sure he had managed to keep his feelings hidden from Qui-Gon,
at least. ...Well, almost sure...
"Oh, you're one of the padawans...guess I should have figured
that, what with the braid and the cloak, huh?" The man rolled
his eyes, mocking himself. "So, been feeling a bit too devoted
to your master, am I right?"
Obi-Wan could only stare at the man, who took one look at his
face and sighed. He leaned in and motioned for Obi-Wan to do
the same.
"Just between you and me, kid, that kind of thing happens way
more than those Council types like to admit. I don't know why
they don't just legalize the thing and have done with it, but
who am I to tell the Jedis what to do? I'm a regular around
here, and I've seen more Jedis come through with your exact
problem - masters as well as the kids. I'm Bill, by the way,"
he finished, offering his hand to Obi-Wan.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi. Nice to meet you. You're here...often?"
The man smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm a twin," he
said, as if that explained it all. Seeing Obi-Wan's blank look,
he continued. "Well, you know the whole twin thing, right?"
Obi-Wan, completely lost, could only shake his head.
"Good grief, kid, what do they teach you over at that academy,
anyway? With twins, it's always the same. There's a good twin,
and an evil twin. Some people think that it's only identical
twins, but it's not, it's fraternal ones, too. I'm a fraternal
twin."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth, as an idea dawned on him, but closed
it again, and looked at Bill, confused. "So you're here because
you're...the...evil twin? You don't strike me as-"
"Well, that's the thing. My whole life people tell me I must be
the evil twin, on account of my brother Bob being such a great
man. When I tell them I don't feel like the evil twin, they say
I'm in denial. That's why I'm here."
Obi-Wan studied the man for a moment. Hard to see, the dark
side is echoed his own mental Yoda. But still...
"I know what you're thinking, kid. I don't blame you. My
brother, he's got this way of, I don't know, of wrapping the
whole universe around his little finger. Know what I mean?
Public-spirited and all that. Me, I just like to stay home and
work in the garden, read a few books, that kind of thing."
Obi-Wan smiled. "Well, maybe that's it then. You're not so much
evil as just...more...laid-back."
Bill laughed. "Ha! Laid-back. I like that. I'll try running
that by what's-his-face when I go in there. I like you, kid."
From their little alcove, Bill and Obi-Wan could hear a door
opening, and the sound of footsteps coming down the hall.
"Guess it's my turn." Bill leaned in, and put his hand on
Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Tell you what kid - don't let them mess
you up. I mean, who's heart is it, anyway?" He winked at
Obi-Wan, who was blushing again, and walked out of the waiting
area.
It wasn't long before Obi-Wan heard the receptionist's voice,
loud and obnoxiously clear. "Mr. Palpatine, there you are!
He'll see you now, second door on the left." He smiled, and
looked absently at the chair where Bill had been sitting. His
reverie was short-lived, however, as the next thing he
overheard from the receptionist made him sit bolt upright in
shock.
"Alright, now, for your follow-up, the earliest opening we have
is...let me see...how is the fourteenth, Mr. Jinn?"
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