Categories: PWP, Humor. Also a first line challenge
Warnings: You may find out more than you want to know about
Yaddle?!?
Spoilers: None
Summary: New lovers Qui and Obi have a conversation in bed.
Author's Notes: This bit of weirdness is a belated response to
Mac's first line challenge. Thanks, Mac, for inspiring me to
write something other than a grocery list. Also thanks to
'chelle for allowing me to mention the concept of Humanoid
Sexual Techniques class. Oh, and an apology to Emu, I think I
just slammed poor Bruck again. This "story" is all
conversation, because that's really all that is happening. I'll
let you imagine Q and O's expression and tone of voice.
Disclaimer: Do we really need to do this? I own none of these
characters. I just make them do and say naughty things for
kicks, not money.
Feedback: Sure, I can take it.
"Obi-Wan, no one is going to believe we are lovers."
"Why not?"
"Because we have spent the last two years telling everyone we
were not."
"Things change. We will just have to convince them."
"What do you suggest, Obi-Wan?"
"Maybe we could get it mentioned in the daily announcements.
'Today for lunch in the dining hall we are serving Chef's
Surprise, paucos beans, and wenka juice. Oh yes, and Qui-Gon
Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi are lovers.'"
"I rather hope we would be mentioned before the Chef's
Surprise."
"We are not on the menu, Qui-Gon."
"I thought you were."
"I am a specialty item."
"Indeed you are and I have no intention of sharing. Do you have
any other ideas?"
"Well, I had thought about carving 'QGJ + OWK 4ever' in one of
the bathrooms in the public areas. While I was at it I could
also put 'For a good time call Yaddle.'"
"The old girl might actually like that. Come to think of it, I
have seen something similar in the shower of training room six.
It was carved about at my knee level. It said 'For a good time
Yaddle you will call.'"
"Training room six? Where Yoda practices?"
"Yes."
"You do not think...?"
"Yes, I do."
"Oh, Master, I will never again be able to look either of them
in the eye at Council session."
"You have not noticed that I have taken to looking at Mace,
Mundi or Adi?"
"I just thought it was because looking down at the other two
gave you a crick in the neck."
"Are you implying that I am old?"
"No, I am implying that you are tall."
"That is much better."
"All right, next idea; we could put on a demonstration in the
main pavilion at the end of the month after the presentation of
the latest underwater lightsaber prototype."
"Those never work."
"If the presentation goes as they typically do there will be a
tremendous explosion followed by a cloud of smoke. When the
smoke clears there would be a huge satin covered bed and us.
And we could, well, hop to it."
"Hopping? Hopping? What are they teaching in Humanoid Sexual
Techniques these days? Hopping, hmm."
"Master!"
"I suggest we practice this first and that we have a Healer
standing by for the duration."
"Master! There is no hopping. It is a figure of speech."
"I have never heard anyone in this galaxy say it."
"I just did."
"And therefore it is acceptable?"
"Yes! Oh, forget the whole thing."
"Too bad. It sounded interesting."
"You are trying to frustrate me."
"Yes."
"You are succeeding."
"I know."
"I have another idea. Do you want to hear it?"
"Certainly."
"We could just leave the door to our quarters open and be a bit
noisier. Then everyone would know."
"Padawan..."
"Yes, Master."
"If you were any noisier I am sure we would be breaking the
sound ordinance for a residential area. As it is, I am
surprised half the Senate is not in line outside our door after
you cry out, 'Fuck me. Fuck me, now'"
"The Senate is one hundred kilometers away."
"I am also amazed that there is not a throng of students from
the university beating down our door."
"The university is on the other side of Coruscant."
"I was thinking of the one on Ja'Lash Prime."
"Sound does not carry through the vacuum of space, Master. Not
even my voice."
"Are you sure? Because I could have sworn I heard..."
"No, Master."
"About three years ago when you went to Dantooine with Bruck
Chun?"
"Definitely not!"
"Oh, well, you still are quite loud."
"Duly noted, Master."
"So, do you have any more thoughts on how to let everyone know
about you and I?"
"Just one."
"And?"
"I will stay by your side for the rest of our days, fight off
every interloper, and make love to you whenever humanly
possible."
"Ah, my Padawan, that is the best idea yet."
"You are so going to get jumped. Did you know that?"
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