These Aren't The Green Eggs and Ham You're Looking For

by Fishgoat

Category: Humour/Parody

Rating: PG

Warnings: Profanity

Archive: Master and Apprentice.

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns the characters. Dr. Seuss Enterprises owns "Green Eggs and Ham". I own the warped mind....

Summary: Obi-Wan seduces Qui-Gon with a little help from Dr. Seuss.

Feedback: Um...I'm almost afraid to ask...master_fishgoat@yahoo.com

Notes: I came up with this thing while reading my daughter a bedtime story. Should I be afraid?

[Obi-Wan nakedly parades around the room while Qui-Gon
tries to write a report, moaning suggestively and
waving his naughty bits in his Master's face. Qui-Gon
finally gets exasperated.]

That Padawan! That Padawan!
I do not like that Obi-Wan!

Would you fuck your Padawan?

I do not like you, Obi-Wan.
I do not fuck my Padawan.

Would you fuck me here or there?

I would not fuck you here or there,
I would not fuck you anywhere.
I will not fuck my Padawan. 
I do not like you, Obi-Wan,

Would you fuck me in a house?
Would you fuck me with a mouse?

I do not like you in a house.
I do not like you with a mouse.
I do not fuck you here or there.
I do not fuck you anywhere.
I do not fuck my Padawan.
I do not like you, Obi-Wan.

Would you eat me in a box?
Would you eat me with a fox?

Not in a box. 
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat you here or there.
I would not eat you anywhere.
I would not eat my Padawan.
I do not like you, Obi-Wan.

Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Fuck me! Fuck me
Really hard!

I would not, could not,
In a car.

You may like it, 
You will see.
You may like it
In a tree!

I would not, could not, in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it with a fox.
I do not like it in a house.
I do not like it with a mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not fuck my Padawan.
I do not like you, Obi-Wan.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
On a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Force, let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat you with a mouse,
I will not eat you in a house.
I will not fuck you here or there.
I will not fuck you anywhere.
I do not fuck my Padawan.
I do not like you, Obi-Wan.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?

I would not, could not, Force help me.
I do not like to fuck, you see.

You do not like your Padawan?

I do not like you, Obi-Wan.







Could you, would you, with a goat?

I would not, could not, with a goat!!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not fuck you in the rain.
I will not fuck you on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it with a fox.
I will not eat you in a house.
I do not like it with a mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE!
I do not fuck my Padawan!
I DO NOT LIKE YOU, OBI-WAN!!!

You do not like me.
So you say.
Try me! Try me!
And you may.
Try me, and you may, I say.

*sigh*
If you will let me be,
I will fuck you.
You will see.


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Say!
I like my Padawan!
I do!
I like you, Obi-Wan!
And I would fuck you in a boat.
And I would fuck you with a goat.
And I will eat you in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
and in a car. And in a tree.
You are so good, so good, you see!
So I will fuck you in a box.
And I will fuck you with a fox.
And I will fuck you in a house.
And I will fuck you with a mouse.
and I will fuck you here and there.
Say! I will fuck you ANYWHERE!

I do so fuck my Padawan.
Love you, love you, Obi-Wan.



END