Theme and Timbre - Ternary
by Master Yo-Gurt
TITLE: Theme and Timbre - Ternary (a form consisting of three
sections): Appenato/Rattenuto/Paventato
SERIES: Theme and Timbre by Raven; the following stories belong
together and make much more sense if read in sequence:
- T&T: Teneramente
- Your memories are my refuge
- T&T - Lusingando
ARCHIVE: M&A, Raven's T&T site, my archive
AUTHOR'S ARCHIVE: Stolen Moments
(www.ravenswing.com/YoGurt)
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Mace/Qui, Obi/Qui (sorta)
CATEGORY: PWP, POV (Obi-Wan /Qui-Gon / Mace)
WARNINGS: non-Q/O, flightless bird alert level 1!
SUMMARY: Obi-Wan witnesses his Master's passion
FEEDBACK: PLEASE, always welcome on list or at
quigon_jinn21@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: The Flannelled One gets everything. Nuff
said!
NOTES: Thanks to Raven for letting me play in her sandbox, yet
again, with my two favorite Jedi! :=) BIG SMOOCHAS to The Great
Jacynthe and Kylara for their beta and patience with
me!:=)
Ternary: a form consisting of three sections:
Appenato/Rattenuto/Paventato
OBI-WAN - Appenato (grieved, distressed)
Tonight I learned what it means to love, and be
loved!
I saw my Master in a new light this evening, open as I have
never seen him before. Vulnerable and bared for the one he
loves - and my heart is filled with a strange sadness. That I
am not that person who has the power to so transform the man I,
too, do love!
Tonight I gave into anger, for a brief fleeting moment, but
gave in I did. When I realized it wasn't me causing my
Master to cry out in pleasure, and abandon all shreds of his
usual serene self. At that moment I cursed the man who so
freely is given what I crave. Cursed him for stealing my place
in my Master's heart.
Of course I know better, know that Qui-Gon cares for me
passionately, if ever a Master did care for a Padawan!
How foolish such jealousy is, surely of the Dark, and I pushed
it aside instantly. I should feel happiness for my Master
having found someone he was able to love unconditionally, and
that his love was returned in kind.
To love like that was something still foreign to me, and I
wasn't sure how to recognize that feeling in myself should it
ever happen to me.
Tonight, however, my question as to how it feels to
love, has been answered, and I know now that love indeed is
what I feel in my heart. For my Master. For Qui-Gon!
His relationship with Master Windu has never posed a problem. I
knew they were close, even when I was younger. And later, when
I was old enough for my Master to give me "the talk," I asked
him what it meant to be in love with someone. After all,
he was in love, wasn't he? So he should have been able
to tell me exactly what it felt like, what "being in love"
truly was.
Instead, he simply had smiled, and said when the time would be
right, I would simply know and recognize the tell-tale
signs when a feeling was more than infatuation. The Force would
guide me towards love as much as my instincts would, and I
could approach him in any matters of the heart whenever I
needed advice.
That was all!
He didn't mention anything about what he felt for Master Windu.
What it was between them that made their hearts beat a bit
faster, their thoughts change from serene to delirious with
lust. What made the two of them, as different as they are (in
so many things) happy? I think that was the word I was chasing
to describe their state. Acceptance, trust... happiness.
But I finally got my answer. Tonight. In a most unexpected
way.
My Master and I had been called before the Council to report on
our last mission to Lefradan, and afterwards Qui-Gon had
decided, upon some prompting by Master Windu, to spend the
night with his lover while leaving me to my own plans. He
wasn't specific, he needn't be, about what his plans for
the night might entail. His eyes shone with anticipation, and
his serene facade belied the giddiness he - and through our
training bond I myself - felt inside.
I retreated tactfully, spending the evening with my friends,
then returned to my quarters, alone. I was back there when I
felt it - I felt my Master through our training bond! Soaring
on a high of sexual lust and desire ... open as I had never
experienced him before!
I felt everything - the softness of the floor he was
kneeling on with his hands and knees; the feeling of being
stretched and taken hard by his lover who I saw, or at
least somehow knew, to be kneeling behind my Master, pounding
his erection into him.
Qui-Gon begged for more, I could hear him! I could actually
hear his thoughts at that moment: his utmost trust in
Windu, his pleasure at being taken hard and fast, his mind as
it sang with love and need. All shielding gone, he was
completely open, breathing harder and harder, his own climax
starting to spiral out of control. No limits in his love for
that other man, no limits on what he would do for his lover,
and in turn would receive in kind from him.
I was mesmerized, was drawn to this act of unselfish devotion,
without actually prying - it just happened! And there I
was, closing my eyes as I sat down onto my bed. I laid back,
focussing on the sensations I felt my Master experience, and
then ...
I started to pleasure myself to the rhythm of his lover's
thrusts into him. My fingers were tight around my cock, sliding
up and down, faster and faster, keeping their rhythm as if
guided by my Master's own hand.
Qui-Gon ... no, I felt the tingling along my shaft, the
building of heat, that poignant stinging along my nerves as I,
too, came closer and closer to completion; feeling the heavy
sacks slap against my buttocks, my rectum being stretched,
aching in that sweetest of ways. And I could hear him
again ...
Mace, my love ... My Master called Windu's name, called
him something sounding like a pet name. His heart quickened as
he cried out that name into a the bond he shared with his
lover, as he reached for Windu's mind. I felt them surge
together, both of them defenceless before each other, so full
of joy ...
I came into my hand, my Master's name on my lips, wishing
desperately my name would be on his, would be in his soul, when
he came on that thick carpet, roughly being pushed forward,
then finally collapsing onto his stomach, cushioning the fall
of his lover with his own body.
As abruptly as it had begun, my connection with my Master's
thoughts were gone again. Nothing more than the muted usual
training I sensed in the back of my mind. I was startled,
dismayed when I saw my hands, sticky with my seed, my mind
still crazed with thoughts of something I knew I could never
possess. Never could call my own. I cried my frustration into
the empty room, throwing myself back into the pillows on my
bed. It took a while for me to calm myself again. For a second
I panicked - what if Qui-Gon had felt me along our training
bond as well, what if he felt my love, only to interpret my
feelings as unwanted, prying and rude?
Tomorrow morning, I will not say a word about this. I don't
like to hide anything from my Master, but if he knew ..., if
Master Windu knew. They will never know, this shall be the one
secret that I will have from my own Master - that it was he who
showed me what it means to love!
QUI-GON - Rattenuto (holding back)
I slipped!
I let my shields protecting our privacy slip, badly. I know I
gave away something that should only be between you and me, not
to be shared with anyone else. But it happened. And I'm afraid
to find out why.
You and I had been in the Council chamber for almost three
hours, making it our playing field, the chairs in there the
props for our love making.
I suggested we continue our play in your new offices, and you
eagerly agreed .I remember, I was egging you on, my lovely
councillor, after I had taken you hard, right above your new
chair. Never before had I been so feverish, was there such an
urgency between us, but we both certainly enjoyed the unusual
roughness in our play.
Yes, I would say I was possessive - filled with emotions very
unbecoming a Jedi. People don't possess one another, and yet
... you are mine, Mace! And I made sure you knew!
We proceeded to your office, and now I let you take the lead. I
was yours ... how I longed for your nimble fingers mapping
every inch of my skin, to prepare me for your taking. I still
feel the bruises on my hips from when you held on to me in your
final cries of ecstasy. Still feel your lips on mine, your
mouth and tongue joining mine, not asking, but taking - just as
I had taken you earlier, at my pleasure, satisfying my lust and
love for you.
Your fingers made short work of the lose tunics we wore; we
didn't really bother to dress properly for our short walk from
the Council chamber over to where we are now. Within seconds,
you had stripped me off my pants and boots again, pushing me
down onto that thick, soft green carpet that lines your office
from wall to wall. On my hands and knees - that's how you like
me best, I know, and I smile as it makes me shudder from the
sheer power that this position gives you over me. This time the
taking was yours, and I joyfully gave all.
Your kisses rained down onto my hips when I felt you sink to
your knees behind me, now also divested of your clothes. My
tunics dangling loosely alongside my flanks, my ass bared for
your pleasure ... How titillating that position is to me!
Hmmm...
Like fire on my skin, your tongue deftly loosening the ring of
muscles protecting the entrance of my body. Piercing that hole
so eagerly, wiggling inside as far as you could reach while
your strong hands stroked down my hips, my thighs, steadying
yourself and holding me in place. I so wished to push against
that gentle intruder, wanted deeper penetration but that wasn't
in your plans for me quite yet.
Instead, your right hand reached around my hips, taking my
already hardened cock into your teasing fingers, squeezing it,
slowly pumping me in rhythm with your tongue piercing my hole,
tickling it, pushing inside again ... and again!
Oh Gods, it was almost enough to drive me to completion, but
never without you, my love! You know so well what I like,
playing me like a virtuoso plays the instrument he has chosen a
long time ago. You are my player, I'm the instrument in
your hands, my soul and mind singing along with your love and
pleasure, it was so unreal... you played me, teasing me, making
my cock weep between your fingers, but exerting enough pressure
with your thumb on the base of my cock to prevent my release.
How far could you drive me? Was that what you needed to
know?
My breath became harder, laboured, for short moments I almost
forgot to breathe altogether, so mesmerized and desperate I was
for us to claim our prize at last! The link that is between us
sang with our union, and when at last you replaced your tongue
at my entrance with the tip of your cock ...
I know where I got those bruises from, I remember, I was
shaking feeling your cock finally demand its entrance to my
body, and I bucked against you, driving you into me hard,
sheathing you with only one hard thrust ... Bliss, sheer,
bliss. I heard your pant, you were close, like me, but you held
on, releasing my cock and holding tightly onto my hips,
thrusting hard into my body.
"More, yes ... more, Mace!!!" I begged you, but you held on to
your teasing, slowly withdrawing, then forcefully plunging into
me again.
I ... I love yo- ...oh YES!
In tried to move with your thrusts, the intervals between them
getting shorter and shorter ... I wanted you so badly, my Mace,
my love! One more thrust, I knew, then we would be there,
together, we would hear our hearts beat, our cocks pulsate with
need and completion ... . We were together, one ...
At that moment, I let my shields drop completely, for that one
brief moment I even let go of those designed to keep all other
out. This is private, between you and me. Our love is just for
us, and yet... I slipped, for the briefest of moments, and I
felt my Obi-Wan as he pleasured himself ... it drove me over
the top.
You heard me, Mace. Your name was on my lips and in my
mind, but the picture of my Obi-Wan made me cross over into the
abyss. I came, feeling your seed filling me at the same time,
your fingers digging hard into my flesh, your hips shuddering
against my own, you leaning over me, biting my neck and leaving
your marks on me. We came together ...
But someone else was there, and it was I who let him in. That
one person you so seemed to fear ... I let him in. Oh
Mace, I didn't know, please ... We lie here, spent, the quiet
between us rendering my thoughts loud as screams, but I have
clamped down my shields now, not wanting to draw your attention
to my failure.
I'm in your arms, secure and safe. Sheltered. Why would
I want to squander this heaven that is you? No, Obi-Wan
is my Padawan, nothing more. I know it, and I desperately wish
for you to know it as well!
"I love you, Mace!" I avow and kiss your neck with tender
bites, revelling in the sensation of tiny muscles responding to
the stimuli of my tongue on your skin. I look into your eyes
... no, you are unaware of what I felt, and I feel relief.
Great relief!
Yet - for the briefest moment we were watched, you and I, and I
wonder if you felt it too.
I pray to the Force you didn't notice, that this question never
will fill the air between us; pray I will never have to come up
with an explanation for something that could only be seen as a
breach of your trust.
No questions now! I love you, I love you, I. Love. You, Mace!
Exhaustedly I let my head sink onto your warm shoulder and feel
your draw me closer to your side, your steady heartbeat like
music in my ears.
"Hmmmm .... Let us sleep now, we've earned it." You say with
that deep laughter rumbling through your chest as you kiss my
hair before you, too, settle down next to me and that large
table made of dark Alderaanian Pallador wood.
Yes, I welcome sleep to keep my thoughts from drifting ...
Obi-Wan. I do not love you, cannot love you, don't want
to love you ... yet you are there, and always will be. Oh my
Padawan, why can't I get you out of my mind, why did I let you
tempt me so, my head filled with your image, shouting out ...
my name? I will not betray the man I love! I cannot - not for
you, Obi-Wan, nor anyone!
I love you, Mace, and yet I shut you out, hoping to elude your
scrutiny in the morning. I feel your breathing settle and
you're almost asleep, as I should be. The Force help me, I
don't know my heart in this any longer. But I will not lie to
you. You will know what happened tonight ... eventually.
Honesty and honor above all. But for now, all I seek is to
sleep and let the Force take care of us, as it always
does!
MACE - Paventato (fearful)
My worst enemy - he visits me tonight. A night I had thought,
and hoped, to be filled only with joy and our cries of passion
and love. But it stalks me as I lie here, you in my arms,
knowing all is not as it should be between us.
The mood has changed - from exuberant to deafening silence. A
peace I usually treasure. Silence isn't awkward between us.
We've been together so long! Even when we don't speak, our
thoughts freely commune and keep us close.
But now; something happened. Something ...
We were caught up in our ecstasy, trying to cling to that
feeling of warmth and happiness. You. I. But here you are,
sullen, brooding, trying your best to mollify me by pushing
closer into my embrace and whispering sweet nothings into my
ears. Yet your thoughts are somewhere else.
He was here, wasn't he? I sensed him in your mind when you ...
when we shared our love, the heat of our bodies,
spending our seed in unbridled lust and crazed abandon. I felt
him. A fleeting image, but there. A brightness, an echo of your
name on his lips. He was here. Still has your thoughts captive
and shut away from me. You think of your Obi-Wan right now,
don't you? ... Don't you, Qui? He was in your mind when you-
...The final realization hits me like the strike from a live
'saber ... -when you came, he was with you, wasn't
he?
Why was he here? Gods, I don't know how or why, but his shadow
haunts me, feeding a jealousy I didn't realize I had inside
myself, and I force my thoughts to quiet once more. Give me a
Sith, any day of my life - it would be easier to slay than
this, my invisible foe.
You shut me out. I hate it when you do that! For a second I
even fear it was something I have done, but no...Anger
wells up inside me, instantly released into the Force...I
silently curse that young man whose shadow came over us like a
deadly cloud. As if in a dream I draw you closer to me, feel
your head against my shoulder, your steady breath brushing over
my nipples... I'm getting hard... Oh Gods, not now! Not
now...
You're here in my arms, and yet you seem miles away. Your
thoughts your own, not shared with me like you usually do. What
went wrong? We enjoyed ourselves, I felt you quiver when I
prepared you, made you ready for me. I felt your love, was open
towards you, as you were for me. And then - nothing! I don't
dare ask aloud as I reach for you but all I feel inside me is
an empty spot where you should be.
Why can't you trust me, tell me what happened? We have been
lovers for all of ten years now - have I done nothing to
earn your trust? Am I not worthy of that bit of respect?
Fear, jealousy...Obi-Wan! No, he is not my enemy, my own
feelings are. But how can I battle these doubt alone, left in
the dark by you who has been my light for so long?
Ten years, Qui-Gon! Still at times you are a stranger to me,
distant, as if we had never known each other, shared our
darkest hour. Have you so little faith in me, or in our love?
Is what you keep from me so terrible? But it's my own doubts
that so suddenly have turned the tables against me. My weakness
is my own, not someone else's! My own, not yours, not
Obi-Wan's.
I don't want to go where you so clearly don't want me, and for
an instant your closeness burns into my flesh, a pain that
seems to mock all I've given you.
Peace over anger, there is no emotion .... I recite the mantra
that is the Code as my last refuge from the darkness that
suddenly is so close ...
"Qui-Gon? You're awake?" I whisper, but I only get your even
breathing in response. Let sleeping Akk dogs lie, they say;
maybe that's advice I should follow more often. But all I want
is scream, to force an answer from you. An answer I loath to
hear.
Not now, not tonight. I keep silent, focusing on the only thing
I seem to have left for now - your body's warmth, your breath
against my skin, and my enemy laughing at my easy fall into
despair and darkness.
Sleep, Force let me sleep! I silently pray, hoping the
Force to guide and shelter us for this night. No more doubts, I
pray, and I chose to believe you love me as I do love you;
without regrets. It is a truth the Force itself has shown me,
all I need to do is believe...
It is late, and I close my eyes, willig myself to sleep -
uneasy, but by your side. Always!
The End
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