Archive:M_A? Sith_Chicks? Anybody who wants it just let me
know.
Disclaimer: As always the Jedi belong to George Lucas.
Spoilers: None
Summary:Bitten by plot bunny of Dixiebell's. Obi has a secret.
Excuses: No beta mistakes belong to me alone. Hope it isn't too
bad.
Feedback: Yes please! Even flames will keep me warm.Reply to
OldToxicHd@aol.com
He was doing it again. Staring into nothingness with that
secret smile on his face. It was driving him insane to see that
beatific expression on the young man's face. Obi-wan, his
Apprentice was in love. Of this Qui-Gon was certain.
A bitter taste rose in his throat at the thought of his Padawan
giving himself to another. He had done all in his power
including things he should not have in pursuit of the name of
the one. He had read his apprentices private correspondence.
Hacked into the lad's personal files. Searched his room.
Followed him whenever he left their quarters alone.
Eavesdropped on his conversations. Everything but ask Obi-Wan
himself.
This madness had started innocently enough seven months ago.
Seeking to lighten the burden on his Apprentice at a time of
several exams he had been tidying their common room. A folder
had spilled on the floor in a flood of paper. Amidst the course
notes there lay a poem. Not just a poem a love poem. Written in
Obi-Wan's clear and elegant script it had to be an original
work. Nevertheless a faint hope had led him to search for a
match in the Temple's extensive library to no avail.
The poem had made certain things very clear. His Padawan had
been in love for a long time at least four years. 'My love for
thee bloomed as I watched the Flame Flowers open.' Qui-Gon knew
of only one mission that had taken the two of them to Mima II
the home of Flame Flowers. It had been when Obi-Wan had just
turned sixteen and the sudden emotional distance in the boy had
caused the Master no little pain. He had thought at the time
that his apprentice's stronger shielding were the result of
puberty rather than passion. Obi-Wan's beloved was male. 'My
lips long to worship the shaft of my love's manhood.' If the
lover had been a female it would have been easier to accept
Qui-Gon told himself. He would not have felt so rejected if the
young man had preferred women. Virginal was not a valid
description of his Padawan any longer. 'I crave the
pleasure/pain of you thrusting inside me.' An image that
continued to eat at his heart despite Qui-Gon's attempts to
purge it from his mind. Coruscant was the home of this stranger
who had beguiled his Obi-Wan. 'Precious are the moments between
missions when I can at last bask in the simple pleasure of my
love's presence.' Aside from these few clues the poem was
maddeningly unspecific.
Serenity had fled the day he had read that damned poem.
Conscience screaming he had kept the poem even though it had
been burned into his memory after the first reading. When
Obi-Wan had come to him blushing, looking for his property
Qui-Gon had lied. Lied to his beloved Padawan for the first
time. Shame twisted his gut. Jealousy turned him into hard
taskmaster. Continually leading him to find fault where there
was none. Nightmares haunted his sleep. Obi-wan and some
faceless man copulating frantically. Images of this phantom
cruelly abusing the tender heart of his Padawan. Every glimpse
of firm young flesh was analyzed endlessly for any evidence of
lovemaking. He had had to withdraw even further from the youth
to hide his distress.
Months later eating alone in the communal dining hall Mace had
joined him. Within moments his old crèche-mate had
deduced his inner turmoil. His piercing gaze reducing Qui-Gon's
defenses to rubble. He found himself confessing all to the
other man. He waited for my friend to tell me how foolish He
was behaving. To his surprise there had been no harsh judgement
in his friend's eyes just sympathy.
"Does Obi-Wan know of your feelings for him?" Mace had asked
quietly.
He shook his head sadly. "What's the point? I had been waiting
until he had reached his majority. Had I but known he had lost
his heart when hardly more than a child I would have crushed
these feelings for him when it was still possible." His hands
trembled as he covered his face.
"You know you're not going to eat that ", he said indicating
the untouched tray. "Let's go to my rooms where we can at least
have some privacy. There is no need to inform the whole temple
of your problems."
Blindly he had let his friend guide him to his quarters.
Ensconced in an over-stuffed armchair a cup of steaming tea in
his hands Qui-Gon began to regain his composure. Seated across
from him Mace gazed past steepled fingers.
"What have you done so far to find out the identity of
Obi-Wan's lover?"
Shamefaced he told of how he had spied on his Padawan.
"Have you tried talking to his friends?"
"No it is too embarrassing to contemplate."
"On the contrary I believe that it is the next step. Setting
your feelings for the youth aside for a moment, you have reason
to be concerned. Your Padawan has had no cause to hide his
relationship from you. I know you. You would never have put
your feelings before his in such a matter. If this lover of his
is on the up and up his friends will know about him. If this a
secret from all we might have to intervene for the young man's
safety."
"He is an adult. He is free to make his own choices."
Qui-Gon's voice was rueful.
"Not if this started while he was underage and his lover was
not."
Of a mind at last the Masters started to plan.
Seemingly casual meetings took place over the next few days.
All of Obi-Wan's closest friends currently on Coruscant were
questioned. One after another expressed ignorance of any
long-standing relationship involving Qui-Gon's Padawan. All
those interviewed were sworn to secrecy. He slipped into
despair.
Then Bant Obi-Wan's oldest and dearest friend returned to
Coruscant with her Master. If anyone knew his Padawan's heart
Bant did. A word with her master and a meeting was arranged.
The young Calamarian fidgeted uncomfortably in her chair facing
three Jedi Masters. Bant was still underage so it was thought
best to include her Master in the interview. After a nod from
Qui-Gon Master Windu began the questioning. It was apparent
almost immediately that Bant knew the object of Obi-Wan's
affections. Her refusal to tell came almost as quickly.
"I cannot betray Obi-Wan's confidence this way, I gave him my
word." Bant confided her coral colored skin blanching in
dismay.
"Can you tell us how you came to know of the affair it might
prove helpful?" Qui-Gon asked.
"I wouldn't call it that." She squirmed in her seat, her eyes
trained on the floor.
"If this is as innocent as you seem to think where is the harm
in telling us the circumstances around which Obi-Wan confided
in you? We are concerned for him." Qui-Gon continued.
Bant shot a glance at her Master and said nothing.
"Are you afraid you will get in trouble?" Her Master asked.
Bant nodded, blanching further.
"Unless people were hurt I promise you will not be punished",
Bant's Master Sinsen Tomen assured her.
Qui-Gon looked his thanks at Master Tomen.
"Obi and I were out drinking on one of the lower levels," Bant
peeked at her Master who nodded reassuringly. "We had way too
much and got really drunk. He was trying to help me get over a
broken heart. He told me of his true love and how impossible
the situation was." She cast a quick look at Qui-Gon. "We
decided that because the people we loved owned our hearts we
should have their names tattooed on us. Showing that they owned
our bodies as well." Blushing now Bant's skin became rosy as
the Masters watched.
Mace and Qui-Gon exchanged a glance.
"Is that the tattoo you had removed from your back", Master
Tomen asked?
Bant nodded.
"Obi-Wan has no tattoo on his back", Qui-Gon persisted,
confusion in his voice.
"Obi didn't have it put on his back. He said he wanted to put
it where only his true love would be able to see it." By this
time Bant's skin had achieved a brilliant orange.
"Where is it on his backside?" Master Windu smiled.
"It is on the underside of his penis", she blurted out.
Three Masters stared at her speechless.
Clearing his throat Qui-Gon croaked. "Does he still have this
tattoo do you know?"
"As far as I know he does", Bant replied. "That's all I can
tell you. He's probably going to be mad that I told you that.
May I go now?"
The Masters nodded as one. The Calamarian Padawan scurried
quickly from the room.
"Thank you for your help Sinsen", Qui-Gon managed after a few
seconds.
"Good luck Qui-Gon." Master Tomen managed as she followed her
Padawan.
As soon as they were alone Mace released the laughter that he
had been holding in check
"It's not funny" Qui-Gon fumed.
"Like hell it isn't. By the Force how are we going to find out
what it says?"
In the days to follow Qui-Gon devoted many hours of meditation
to the problem of his Apprentice's hidden tattoo. He scheduled
a complete physical for Obi-Wan with the healers. Three solid
months before it was due, silencing his Padawan's objections
with a look. Questioning the healers afterward he learned that
Obi-Wan was in perfect health and indeed had a tattoo on his
member. As to what it said the healers had been unable to say.
Claiming the Apprentice had used slight of hand or perhaps
slight of penis was a better term to keep the tattoo hidden.
Undeterred Qui-Gon took his charge camping for a week on the
wilderness world of Circarpous V. The Master had tried in vain
to catch a glimpse of the tattoo as they bathed in the river
near their campsite. On Obi-Wan's Naming Day he had plied the
younger man with Alderaanian Brandy hoping to get his Padawan
drunk enough for him to examine the tattoo. Qui-Gon awoke the
next day with the realization that he had passed out and that
his Padawan had put him to bed.
Attempt after attempt had failed. Obi-Wan began to avoid his
Master and their rooms as much as possible. Showing up moments
before training sessions and disappearing afterward. Whenever
they were on a mission the young Jedi went to great lengths to
secure separate cabins. Choosing to sleep in broom closets
alone rather than share a bed with his Master. The situation
went from uncomfortable to intolerable as Qui-Gon felt driven
to greater and greater lengths to find out Obi-Wan's secret.
Disaster struck on an assignment to the Corillian system.
Qui-Gon had been unable to find his Padawan and their mission
had almost failed.
Master and Apprentice had not spoken since their ignoble return
some hours earlier. The silence weighed heavily upon them as
they had reluctantly trudged to give their report to the High
Council.
Master Yoda stared angrily at the two Jedi before him. Neither
one was able to meet his eyes. Councilor Windu looked
distinctly uncomfortable as well as he shifted in his seat.
Sighing unhappily Yoda spoke, "Padawan Kenobi explain you will
why you abandoned your Master."
Qui-Gon interrupted. "It was my fault my Master not Obi-Wan's."
Yoda struck his gimer stick against the floor with a resounding
'THWACK' silencing Qui-Gon. "Kenobi did I ask. Plenty of blame
there is for all. Answer you will Apprentice Kenobi."
"My Master has not been himself for some time now. My presence
seems to disturb him of late and I only sought to ease his
distress." Obi-Wan could not tear his gaze from the floor at
his feet. "Harrumph!" Yoda said as loudly as anyone had ever
heard the tiny master speak. "Master Jinn problem there is with
your Padawan?"
Qui-Gon flushed crimson as words failed him.
"Foolishness is this! Two Jedi almost lost!" 'THWACK' went the
stick. "Master Windu told us he did. Wait too long we did for
you settle this. A Jedi knows not pride. Pride Apprentice
Kenobi. Pride Master Jinn." Yoda stopped breathing heavily.
"If you had shared instead some of the great affection you have
for each other this could have been avoided." Knight
Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke softly his voice barely audible after Master
Yoda's outburst.
"Settle this you will or separate you we must."
Qui-Gon knew that his face had gone from red to purple. His
Padawan beside him had gone instead very pale.
"Choose you must Padawan Kenobi. Show now the Council your
tattoo or to your Master show in private." Yoda's eyes were
mere slits as he examined the Jedi before him.
Obi-Wan was quick to answer nearly in tears, "Please Master
Yoda I choose to show my Master my tattoo."
"See that you do. Today you must. You both go now."
Dismissed the two slowly returned to their quarters. Once
inside Obi-Wan ran to his room shutting the door behind him.
Qui-Gon sat in the dining area head in hands. This debacle had
been his entire fault. If only he had been able to banish his
feelings for his Apprentice he would not be at risk of losing
him altogether. Why had he listened to Mace? He should have
ignored the poem. Tucked it back in Obi-Wan's folder and
forgotten it. The years stretched before him bleak without his
beloved Padawan. Tears made their way through his fingers to
flow down into his sleeves. He no longer cared whose name was
on the man he loved. As soon as he mastered himself he would go
to Obi-Wan and tell him he did not need to show him the damned
tattoo it did not matter.
A soft touch on his shoulder startled the Master.
"Master?"
Obi-Wan sounded so young like the boy Qui-Gon used to know. Not
a boy now a man worthy of respect. He gradually raised his
head. Obi-Wan his precious Obi-Wan stood naked before him. Both
their faces were streaked with tears.
"You don't have to do this Padawan. I will make it right with
the Council."
"Yes I do. It's not about the Council anymore. Master Yoda was
right it was all about pride. I'm sorry my Master."
Obi-Wan walked to the center of the common room and turned to
face the older man. Chin on chest, arms at his sides he closed
his eyes.
Qui-Gon rose and approached his apprentice. Stopping before
this golden man he dropped to his knees. He had dreamed of
kneeling at Obi-Wan's feet so often a sense of unreality struck
him. Obi-Wan's cock hung limply inches from his face. Gingerly
he grasped the penis before him and lifted it gently. There
along the sensitive underside were letters picked out in green
calligraphy. It took a moment before his brain was willing to
process the name. Qui-Gon Jinn was the name of Obi-Wan's secret
love.
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