Spoilers: If you haven't seen TPM yet, this will just confuse
you more.
Summery: I claim no responsibility for this. I don't even know
what it is--but if I read one more story where Qui-Gon dies,
I'm going to jump off of a bridge. Written at 3 am, edited at 3
pm several weeks later to be slashy--really, it's just a brain
fart.
Obi-Wan stood in front of the flames, watching as the last
licks of fire burned down into embers. He could feel his heart
dying bit by bit as he watched his Master--his very life and
love--disappear into the smokey night.
"I have to go to the bathroom."
"Wait, you should, young Skywalker. Not done grieving, is your
new Master."
"But I really need to go. Bad."
"Two bathrooms there are, young Skywalker. No more, no less.
And Yoda and I have first claim."
Obi-Wan stood in front of the flames, watching as the last
licks of fire burned down into embers. The love of his life had
died and left him with a squeaky little apprentice and a senile
green Jedi Master. There was no reason to continue on.
"I will not condone a course of action that will lead to my
waiting in line for the bathroom. We will resolve this attack
on my sewer system now."
"You can't go to that bathroom, highness! It's controled by the
Hutts. The Hutts are gangsters!"
"Both bathrooms present significant danger . . . to us all . .
."
Obi-Wan stood in front of the flames, watching as the last
licks of fire burned down into embers. He had lost his lover to
a queen who had a crush on a nine-year old. If this was the
state of the galaxy, he didn't want to be a part of it.
Sighing, Obi-Wan turned away from the pyre. It mattered little
what he thought. He was a Jedi, and would honor the Jedi ways,
like his Master before him. It mattered little that there
seemed to be nothing to live for, mattered little that the man
he loved more than life itself had passed into the Force--
He was a Jedi, and he would honor his lover's last wishes. That
was enough.
"About time, that decision you made. Confer upon you the rank
of Jedi Knight, the Council does."
Obi-Wan's eyes popped open and he jumped to his feet, gaze
darting frantically around the council room.
"Whaa--"
"You have passed your Trials, young Kenobi," Mace Windu said
with a smile. "I must say I am very impressed. Most people
don't even get off of Tatooine without smacking the Skywalker
kid aside the head--and you are the first Padawan in living
history not to at least /try/ to leave Jar Jar Binks behind
somewhere."
"Remember I do, when your own Master the Trials did take," Yoda
said wryly, shaking his head. "Sold Jar-Jar to the Hutts to
raise money for the ship, he did."
"But I thought--" Obi-Wan shook his head, rubbing a hand
through his hair. "That was all a trial?"
"The same trial everyone takes, Jedi Kenobi," Mace said kindly.
"We were all very impressed by your restraint, especially in
the matter of the Queen."
"The Queen?" Obi-Wan asked, confused. Mace blushed, looking at
the cealing as Yoda cackled.
"Tried to seduce the Queen, Windu did. Bad form, it was. Nearly
failed him, we did."
"Then--I passed?"
"Passed you have," Yoda said, thumping his stick on the ground.
"With honors, you passed."
"And without trying to kill the pipsqueak once," Adi said
softly. "I must say that I am in awe of you."
"He gets it from me," a quiet voice said from the corner, and
Obi-Wan spun gratefully towards the familiar sound.
Standing in the corner, healthy and fit, was Qui-Gon Jinn. Not
dead. Not burned.
Alive.
His love, his life, was alive. The fire, the pain--they had
been a dream. A vision.
"Not so, my Padawan," Yoda cackled from the corner, pointing
his stick at Qui-Gon. "Nothing like you is Obi-Wan. Tried to
toss Skywalker out the airlock, you did."
"And the orgy with the handmaidens . . ." Ki-Adi Mundi added
with a wide grin.
"And selling Jar-Jar to Jabba," Depa chimed in brightly.
"And you think what /I/ did to the Queen was bad," Mace said
darkly
Qui-Gon blushed. "She liked me," he replied brightly. Holding
out a hand to Obi-Wan, he bowed to the Council. "Are we
dismissed?"
"Dismissed you are, Knight Kenobi, Master Jinn."
As the door whisked shut behind them, Obi-Wan spun to face his
former Master.
"The /Queen/?" he sputtered. "Master, she was fourteen!"
"I was younger then . . ." Qui-Gon said with a faint smile. The
smile turned suddenly predetory. "And I didn't know you."
Qui-Gon bent down and brushed a warm kiss against his Obi-Wan's
neck.
Obi-Wan refused to be distracted. "The handmaidens?"
"Don't ask," Qui-Gon said with a slightly haunted look. "Let us
just say that it is a good thing the Trials are just a vision.
I wouldn't have been able to walk for days." Gathering his
former Padawan to his chest, Qui-Gon kissed him within an inch
of his life.
Deciding it was time to drop the subject, the newly Knighted
Kenobi followed his Master down the hallway, thoughts already
turned to the evening ahead.
A nice, long, naked celebration with his Master. His very much
alive Master.
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