Sleight of Force

by obi-ki

Category: Angst

Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan

Rating: PG-13

Archive: MA, anyone else please ask.

Feedback: As cherished as chocolate covered Jedi. Onlist or off at kiowkqgj@yahoo.com

Summary: This story is in response to Emu's TMI plot challenge, which was as follows: "Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have agreed that they love each other, and want to form a lifebond, but they haven't bonded yet. Obi-Wan goes out one day and gets caught in a Plot Device where a friend, or fellow Jedi (someone he already knows) is injured, and the only way to save them is to form a lifebond with that person. So he does. Obi-Wan has to go back to Qui-Gon and break the news that he has a new partner."

Warnings/Author's Notes: This is a sad and very angsty piece and the event that didn't happen in TPM, happens. So continue on at your own risk. Also as this story runs through a time span of over thirty years, there are some things included in the story that could be construed as spoilers. Some are facts from the movies or the novelizations, but most are just conjecture from my fevered brain based on those things. But if you do not know a lot about the original trilogy and are attempting to remain truly, "Spoiler Free", you probably should not read this story. Thanks to Emu for the challenge that spawned this bunny and to Monalee as always for her tireless efforts in making sure my commas are in place and my grammar is correct.

Disclaimers: All things Star Wars belongs to the great George Lucas and Lucasfilms. I am only borrowing the boyz from him for a bit and will return them to him mostly unharmed. The story is just for entertainment purposes and no money is being made from it.

Denotes mind or bond speech.

**Two years before TPM**

As Qui-Gon tried to finds things to keep himself busy, he wondered when the last time a ten had seemed so long to him. Except for a couple of incidents when Obi-Wan had been injured and he had sat vigil in Healer's Hall, his connection to the Living Force was such that the passage of time was almost insignificant. But this was the first time, except during the confines of a mission, that Obi-Wan had been apart from him for any length of time and the recent changes they were planning in their relationship was making this separation very difficult.

The two men had become lovers only a few months before Qui-Gon had judged Obi-Wan ready for this next step in his apprenticeship. In those months, their feelings and their relationship had grown to the point that they had decided to deepen it. The evening after Qui-Gon had made his formal presentation to the Council for his apprentice to begin shepherded missions, they had discussed their desire to form a lifebond. They had done some research and explored their feelings but had not had the opportunity to move further before this mission was assigned.

Obi-Wan had been assigned his first shepherded mission in the company of an old friend, Knight Col'tay Dace. Dace was a Tintinna, a rodent-like species from the planet Rinn. Tintinnas were a short-lived species, which aged biologically at twice the rate of humans. So although they had met and first become friends when Col'tay was two and Obi-Wan was four, Col'tay was now 40 years old while Obi-Wan had just turned 23. The two had remained close friends even as their age disparity widened and their lives moved along different paths.

Because of this growth difference, Col'tay, or 'Dace' as Obi-Wan always called him, had been taken as a Padawan at the tender age of ten but, as he still needed to undergo the required number of standard years of training, he was not Knighted until his biological age of 35. After his Knighting, Col'tay had taken partner vows with a female from his species, a healer named Va'lia, and begun serving on a variety of intelligence and undercover missions, either solo or with other Knights.

So when Qui-Gon had put Obi-Wan up before the Council as being ready to serve under a shepherd, Col'tay had put in a formal request for the padawan to serve with him when the appropriate mission came available. Although mainly attached to the Temple's diplomatic office, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had undertaken a good number of more circumspect missions so the younger man would be a more than capable partner.

A little over a ten ago, Obi-Wan and his Master were called into the mission designation office to review the parameters and, with Qui-Gon's approval, he had been assigned to serve on this mission to Garban. Two days later, Qui-Gon had accompanied his apprentice to the small transport that had been assigned to the mission and had watched him depart.

Personal communication between them had stopped when the ship reached Garban but between his sense of Obi-Wan through their bond and getting forwarded copies of their mission reports from the designation office, Qui-Gon had been reassured that the mission was proceeding properly and both men were safe.

A little over two days ago, all that had changed. A sudden surge of agitation across the bond had told him that the mission had taken an unexpected turn but he had been unable to ascertain much else. For many hours, all that Qui-Gon knew was that Obi-Wan was involved in some type of battle and that he not been severely injured. Finally, the feelings of agitation had given way to concern and exhaustion and then their bond had become strangely muted.

At first, Qui-Gon had been concerned that something had happened to his padawan but he soon realized that Obi-Wan's life force was still very strong. The connection between them was dimmed somehow, almost as if it was being overrun by some kind of background noise. A message had come through from the designation office that the mission pilot had commed saying that Knight Dace had been injured and that Padawan Kenobi was caring for him. The trip back from Garban would take fifteen hours and although the pilot had been told that Knight Dace was stabilized, he advised that healers meet them in the hangar.

So Qui-Gon was now trying to pass the last hour until his padawan's ship would land. Failing to find anything to do, he had settled for meditating until it was time to leave for the hangar. In his trance, he had been instantly aware when the ship had dropped out of hyperspace. Their bond had strengthened as Obi-Wan had drawn nearer but that odd distortion had still been present. He attempted to use his meditation to reach out to him but gave up in frustration when the distortion proved to be too much of a distraction.

Giving up completely on his meditation, Qui-Gon left his quarters with plenty of time to insure getting to the hangar before the ship landed. He stood waiting in silence until the healer's team and Va'lia arrived then kept up a polite conversation with the others. He listened as Va'lia tried to get more information about her mate but her fellow healers couldn't tell them much more. The two additional transmissions from the ship had told them that Col'tay had been injured by a concussion grenade. The Force bubble he had erected to protect their contacts collapsed under the pressure and he suffered internal injuries. Obi-Wan had managed to stabilize his condition but they didn't know much else.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity but was in reality only about a quarter hour, the ship made its way into the hangar. The group was moving up the landing ramp almost before it had fully deployed and quickly made their way to the makeshift med bay. The healers tried to move Obi-Wan from Col'tay to assess his condition but the younger man had barely made it two steps away when the Tintinna became agitated.

Obi-Wan moved back to Col'tay's side and took hold of his paw. "He has been like this ever since I got him stabilized. He gets upset if I get too far away from him. That is why all my reports were sent through our pilot." A slight smile warmed his face as he added. "It was even a challenge to use the refresher so I have to warn you I am rather rank."

The Healing Master gave Obi-Wan an odd look but then focused her attention on her patient. In a matter of minutes, they had checked his condition and found him not to be in any immediate danger. The Master used a Force compulsion to calm and sedate the Tintinna and then turned to the others. "Let's get him moved to Healer's Hall. Padawan Kenobi did an excellent job caring for him but he will need some hours in a bacta tank to deal with the damage to his liver and spleen."

They slid Col'tay onto the hoversled they had brought with them for that purpose. Va'lia walked beside the sled as the group made their way through the hallways. As they followed, Qui-Gon slid his arm around his padawan's waist and extended across the bond to check his condition but was met again with that strange interference. Trying to ascertain what might be causing it, he asked. "Tell me what happened, Obi-Wan?"

"A group of mercenaries attacked the rebel cell leaders we were meeting with. In the course of getting them to safety, we were pelted with a barrage of concussion grenades," Obi-Wan explained, as he leaned a bit into his Master's touch. "Dace was able to erect a Force bubble around the others while I moved to disarm the launcher but it failed under the last grenade and he was injured. I was able to incapacitate the rest of the mercenaries, get the leaders to safety and get Dace back to the ship." He took a deep breath and continued. "Dace was in tough shape when I got him settled into the bunk, bleeding internally and going into shock so I reached across our friendship bond to feed him Force energy until I could get the bleeding stopped."

Dread filled Qui-Gon as Obi-Wan's words, Col'tay's earlier reaction and the distortion along their bond made the pieces of this puzzle finally come together. "You fed the energy directly into the bond?" he asked. When his apprentice nodded, he moved them into a small alcove and instructed, "Reach out to Col'tay over your bond. What do you feel?"

Obi-Wan did as he was told and was surprised to find that he could feel his friend strongly even though the other man had been sedated with the Force and was some distance away. "Our connection is much stronger than before. Is that from me feeding him energy?"

"Yes. Now reach out to me over our bond," Qui-Gon enjoined him.

Shock filled Obi-Wan's face as he reached for the shining presence that was his master and found their connection dimmed. "What's wrong with our bond? I can hardly sense you."

After directing his padawan to sit on the low bench, Qui-Gon took a seat beside him and took his hands into his own. "We will need verification from the healers to be sure, but I think you have formed a lifebond with Col'tay Dace."

Obi-Wan tried to get to his feet but the hands holding his kept him seated. "How is that possible? Dace and I are just friends. He is mated to Va'lia and I am in love with you." His alarm increased as he continued to speak. "How could the bond have formed without both of us wanting it? How could the Force have allowed this to happen?"

Qui-Gon leaned forward and kissed Obi-Wan, a loving melding of lips that convey all of his love and pride for the younger man. "Let's wait to see what the healer's have to say. But we will find a way to deal with whatever the Force has created between you and Col'tay, together."

To their dismay, they found that Qui-Gon's assessment have been totally correct and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Col'tay Dace had formed a lifebond. After Col'tay had recovered from his injuries, the two men had been given three tens off the duty roster to work with the soul healers to adapt to the bond. Because of Col'tay's weakened state, the bond had formed out of balance. Their life forces were not equally entwined and Obi-Wan had been less affected by the bond's demands. With their species being sexually incompatible and both men being in love with others, the bond had not exhibited the intense sexual attraction that normally accompanied such a mental joining, for which both were extremely grateful.

Obi-Wan spent the time in a flux of emotional upheaval. One moment, he ranted at the Force for doing this against his will and preventing him from forming a lifebond with the man he loved. The next, he worked himself into exhaustion in the salles to keep his mind from focusing on what he had lost. Other times, he wallowed in a myriad of self-pity and depression, hiding in obscure corners of the gardens in extended meditations.

Finally, one night after Obi-Wan had spent the day hidden away in the gardens, Qui-Gon had had enough and forced the issue. "You need to come to terms with this, Padawan. You must accept what has happened and move on. Or do you plan on throwing away any relationship we could have because of what has been denied us?" He used his fingers to raise the cleft chin until their gazes locked. "I miss my Padawan and I miss my lover. Don't destroy what we already have because of what cannot be. The Force does not always see fit to show us the reason it does things. Someday, the reason behind this unusual bond will finally become clear."

With more than a little reluctance, Obi-Wan attempted to follow his Master's advice. After a few more sessions with the soul healers and some extended meditations that he actually used to release his emotions, Obi-Wan did come to terms with what had happened. He still felt a twinge of regret for what could have been but buried it deeply, jumping back fully into his life both as Qui-Gon's padawan and his lover.

**Directly after TPM**

In the two weeks since he had returned from Naboo, Obi-Wan Kenobi had done everything in his power to avoid the company of any of his friends. He had forgone a formal Knighting ceremony, unable to face the congratulations of his peers while his heart was shattered by the loss of his Master. He had cleared the few things of his that remained in the padawan room of their quarters and settled his new apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, into the space.

Unless directly dealing with a responsibility pertaining to Anakin, Obi-Wan spent all his time locked in the bedroom he had shared for the past two years with Qui-Gon. By all outward appearance, he was a picture of Jedi serenity, calm and collected with not an ounce of emotion showing in his handsome face. But within he was empty, broken, as dead in spirit as his Master's body had been aflame on the pyre. His heart and soul cried out for the man he loved and he lamented the fact that he had not died alongside his Master. The only thing that tethered him to the moment and kept him from seeking a way to become one with the Force was his promise to the dying man to train Anakin.

Obi-Wan was again failing in his attempt to meditate when the sound of the door chime echoed in the silent rooms. He tried to ignore it but soon it was followed by pounding and a stern voice calling out to him.

"I know you're in there, Kenobi," the familiar voice called both in his ears and in his head. "And I'm not going away until you let me in. If you haven't opened this door in the next minute, I will have Va'lia get me a healer's override so I can let myself in."

Very reluctantly, Obi-Wan rose from the floor and made his way to the common room, unlocking the door with a wave of his hand before dropping into Qui-Gon's favorite chair. "Go away, Dace. I don't want to talk to anyone."

"You don't have to talk. You can just listen," Col'tay Dace admonished his lifemate as he locked the door behind him and sat on the couch opposite.

"Unlock the door. Anakin will be back soon," Obi-Wan rebuked as he ignored the other's words.

"Anakin is currently visiting with Va'lia and the kids," Dace said with a smirk. "You don't know how thrilled he was to be given the opportunity to hear stories about your misspent youth."

"Another thing he can add to his catalogue of his Master's failures," Obi-Wan groused in self- deprecation.

"Yeah, you're such a failure, Kenobi. You are the first person to be Knighted in field trials in the last two hundred years and first to kill a Sith in over a millennia," Dace reprimanded, even though his voice held a note of sympathy.

"I let myself be knocked off the cat walk, I wasn't fast enough to catch up and Qui-Gon died because we didn't have the lifebond I needed to save him," Obi-Wan intoned flatly. "What would you call it?"

"Don't you see, Obi," Dace began, getting his lifemate's attention by reverting to his nickname from the creche. "Not having the lifebond is what saved you and allowed you to defeat the Sith."

"I didn't want to be saved and if I hadn't promised Qui-Gon I would train his Chosen One, I would find some way to join the Force," Obi-Wan argued.

"And take me with you," Dace reminded, "I don't think so, Kenobi. For the past two years I have felt guilty that by saving my life on Garban, you sacrificed the one thing you wanted more than anything - your lifebond with Qui-Gon. My only consolation was the fact that our lifebond was imbalanced and my death, in the line of duty or due to my shorter lifespan, would not cause your death." Col'tay opened his end of their lifebond fully so that there would be no doubt that he truly believed the words he now spoke. "Now I see that wasn't the case. Our lifebond was the Force's way of insuring that you would live through the battle with the Sith, both to destroy him and for some other purpose. Search your feelings, Obi-Wan, and you will know this to be true."

"How can I search my feelings when I can't meditate or even sleep?" Obi-Wan lamented. "Every time I close my eyes, I hear him cast me aside for Anakin in the Council chambers, I see the red blade pierce his chest, I see him fall, I hear him begging me to train the boy and I hear him whisper in my mind that he will love me forever as our bond dissolves." He stifled a sob as he added, "So much hurt passed between us during those last few days. I have cried and begged the Force to let me feel Qui-Gon again, even if only for a moment, to make things right, but it seems the Force has forsaken me as well."

"Let me help you, Obi. Open our bond and meditate with me," Dace said softly, as he dropped to his knees a short distance from Qui-Gon's old chair and took his friend's hands in his. "Maybe when you have released your feelings and begun to make peace with all this, you will be able to feel Qui-Gon."

Part of Obi-Wan wanted to refuse, to push away his lifemate and continue to dwell in this bastion of self-pity but his sense of duty won out and he agreed. He slid to his knees, staying as close to the comfort of his Master's chair as he could and admitted. "What do I have to lose?" He lowered his shields and opened his mind fully to the bond between them that had almost constantly remained shuttered since its inception.

Col'tay gasped at the intensity of the pain and despair coming from his lifemate but worked quickly to enclose them both within his shields. Release the pain, Obi-Wan, he said into his mind. Open your heart and forgive yourself for these perceived failures. You did not fail Qui-Gon or in your duty as a Jedi. You defeated the Sith, protected the Queen and helped Naboo get back its freedom. Qui-Gon must be so proud of you.

One by one, Obi-Wan slowly did as he had been told and worked to release his pain, frustration and disappointment. As time passed, he relived each moment in his mind and released his distress and anguish into the eddies of the Force. Each subsequent discharge of emotion was like a weight being lifted from his shoulders and his heart. After he had released the most painful feelings, he shifted his thoughts to some of his most treasured memories of his life with Qui-Gon. Col'tay buoyed him with memories of his own and soon his heart felt as if it was beginning to reconstruct. Thank you, Dace, for not taking no for an answer and for pressing me to deal with my emotions. My heart will never be whole again but I think it may rebuild enough to allow me to see to my duty to Anakin and to the order.

Dace could feel Obi-Wan attempting to surface from their shared meditation but the Force was almost screaming for him to keep him there. Wait, Kenobi. Stay here with me for a little longer, he sent as he quieted his mind to try to figure out what the Force was telling him. He felt his lifemate do the same and it soon became clear what the Force was doing.

Padawan, echoed lovingly through both their minds as Qui-Gon used the strength of their combined lifeforce to reach Obi-Wan. You did not fail me, love. You have always been the best thing in my life and I am so proud of you.

A sob, both verbal and mental, escaped from him as that beloved voice sounded in his mind. I should have been faster, better. I should have been able to save you, like I saved Dace. I don't want to go on without you, Master, Obi-Wan lamented. He could almost feel those strong arms surrounding him as a wash of love poured into his mind.

You used all the skills I taught you and survived to defeat the Sith, Padawan. That is what is important, that soft brogue admonished. You were never meant to save me, love, and you need to get back out and live your life.

Master, I will always love you, Obi-Wan vowed mentally.

I know, my own, as I will always love you, came his Master's pledge in reply. The Force has many plans for you, my Padawan, but you will never be alone. I will always be with you, here. Obi-Wan felt the touch of a hand pressed firmly against his heart as the words echoed in his mind. And one day, when your duty is done, we will be together forever within the threads of the Force itself.

I will live for that day, my Master, Obi-Wan promised. And I will make you proud of me. I will train Anakin and 'Live in the Moment' until we can be together again.

Be strong, Obi-Wan. I will be waiting, echoed in that familiar voice as the sense of Qui-Gon's presence faded from their minds.

Obi-Wan came out of their shared meditation with tears running down his cheeks. "I can't thank you enough, Dace. You have no idea what it means to me to have been able to speak to him again."

"I know how much it means to you and you're welcome," Dace replied as he rose from the floor. "Now pull yourself together, get dressed and come down to my quarters for night meal. If you don't get there soon, Va'lia may have told Anakin about all your less than stellar deeds, including the time you stole Mace Windu's boxer shorts and placed them in the hand of the statue of Odan-Urr." A touch of a smile ghosted on Obi-Wan's lips and Dace knew that they had made some progress in dealing with his lifemate's anguish. He let himself out of the quarters, hoping that time would serve to help the younger man dissipate the rest of his pain.

**A few months before AOTC**

Over the next ten years, the lifemates had gotten together as often as duty allowed and both men really looked forward to those times. Dace had helped him to heal enough to fulfill his duty although nothing ever came close to filling the void in his heart. He and Dace had shared many meditations over those years, and although Obi-Wan had been able to sense Qui-Gon's presence during most of them, they had never again achieved the proper state for his Master to communicate with him.

But Obi-Wan took strength in those interactions, no matter how infrequent or brief and on a few occasions had even managed to feel his Master's presence on his own. He spoke mentally to Qui-Gon almost every night, relaying the highlights of day's events or some special moment in Anakin's training, knowing that although he could not see or feel the man, his Master had to be with him because he would never break a promise. And when he had problems, he would share them with his Master as well, working through them by imagining what Qui-Gon's suggestions would be.

One evening, Obi-Wan was doing just that in the mission quarters he and Anakin had been provided on Fondor, when he felt a surge of severe pain over the lifebond. He dropped to his knees from intensity of it and reached out with all his strength to its source. As the pain began to dissipate so did the bond and with a last wave of love from his friend of more than thirty years, the bond vanished from his mind. Anakin was beside him as the presence faded and while he made the call that would confirm in words what he already knew - his lifemate, Knight Col'tay Dace, had become one with the Force.

Sorrow filled him at the loss of someone else in his life but he refused to dwell on it and let it paralyze him as Qui-Gon's death had. There was so much Darkness now in the Republic and he needed all his strength to deal with that and with the training of his headstrong and impulsive apprentice. Moreover he knew that now he had not one silent supporter but two, as he knew that Dace would be watching over him alongside Qui-Gon.

**Sometime during Episode III**

Fighting not only with his own strength but that fed to him by his former Master and his former lifemate, Obi-Wan managed to defeat his padawan after Anakin had attempted to kill him. He got back to his ship, took off from the volcanic planet and programmed a hyperspace route that would take him far away. As he sat back in the pilot seat, trying to plan his next move, he felt Dace's presence enfold him and a soft voice echo in his mind. Rest for bit my friend and then you must go to Padme. Find someplace safe to hide her so that Anakin cannot find her.

But Anakin is dead, Obi-Wan argued with the voice speaking in his head. He lives, my friend, the voice declared. Doubt filled his mind that anyone could have survived that but he knew that his invisible guardian would not mislead him.

Obi-Wan was glad that Dace was here for him but he needed reassurance that the man who had entrusted him with Anakin's training could forgive his failure. Qui-Gon, I felt your presence when I fought Anakin. I'm sorry that I failed in his training and as such failed you. Please forgive me, he begged mentally. For a moment nothing happened and he despaired that he would not be able to go on to the tasks ahead without absolution from his Master.

Finally the voice Obi-Wan had not heard in over ten years echoed softly in his mind. It is I who failed you, my love. I let the boy's power blind me to the truth just as I failed to see the Darkness in Xanatos. And you are not to blame for Anakin's choices, so there is nothing to forgive.

Maybe if I had been less emotionally damaged, if my heart had been healed enough to truly let Anakin in, this would never have happened, Obi-Wan's countered, still trying to shoulder the blame.

Recriminations will not help anyone now, Padawan, Qui-Gon's voice admonished mentally. Protect Padme. Within her, she carries the hope for the future. And remember, I will be with you, always.

All too soon, the voices faded from his mind and the Force presences faded from the bridge. Steeling his resolve, Obi-Wan used the remainder of his hyperspace time to meditate on his new duties. He still believed that there must have been some failure on his part that cause these tragic events but he resolved that nothing would get in the way of completing his new directive. He would protect Padme, no matter what the cost.

**A few days before the beginning of ANH**

Ben Kenobi knelt in the middle of the desert hovel that had been his home for the past eighteen years, meditating for the strength to continue in his lonely vigil. He had lost track of how long he had been at it when a long dead voice echoed in his mind. Soon, love, very soon, we will once again be together. A surge of elation washed through him and the heart that had been frozen for so long began to feel again. "Master," he whispered aloud in reply.

Be mindful, Padawan. The circle will soon be complete. The children of Anakin Skywalker will shortly beseech your aid, the strong voice instructed as easily as it had thirty years before. Teach Luke about his destiny and his heritage before helping them to reunite. Once they begin down the path of the Light, you duty will be done and the bounties of the Force will be yours. I will be waiting.

The voice faded from his head but the presence remained firmly rooted in his heart and Obi-Wan wrapped it carefully in the love he had kept safely tucked way for so long. All his years of pain and loneliness faded away at the thought of finally being with his Master again and his pledge echoed through the empty rooms. "Yes, Qui-Gon, and once I am again by your side, we will never be separated again."

The End.