Archive: if you really want to archive this you're sicker than
I thought - joking (ducking flying gunguns)
Feedback - Please be kind and let me know what you think -
pretty please with Qui-Oh My! and Obi-Lust wrestling to see
who's on top <g>
Disclaimer: They're my slash bunnies why do I have to disclaim
them?
No one beta'd this coz I was in a really strange mood when I
wrote this and didn't wan to subject anyone to my temporary
insanity!
Short Silly Fic - Attack of the Slash Bunnies!
By Our intrepid heroine Jedi-Angel
Opening scene - a dark air-conditioned room (a
must when reading and writing slash fic!). Oodles of
Phantom Menace stuff everywhere - The 12-incher Qui-Gon,
the Obi-Wan calendar, the door hanger, the can of Qui-Gon cola,
the dark apprentice books and dozens of magazines and
The Phantom Menace Visual Dictionary lay scattered in around an
on a computer. The computer has Deejay's pic entitled love as a
desktop, the icons are all TPM, the sounds the computer makes
are all TPM (especially that ::happy shivers:: "Yes Master"
wav)
A lonely young Jedi Knight named Jedi-Angel (aka Tracy, aka
Dark~Angel) sits in front of her computer typing away furiously
while trying to read all the fantastic stories she's being
bombarded with. She is trying desperately to get the Force to
speak to her, but strangely enough no 'First Lessons' are
coming - her mind is blank and she's almost ready to throw
herself on the mercy of the [gasp] Dark Side! (Hey Darth
Maca-Rina, you listening? ::giggle::)
Suddenly - the door to her inner sanctum (now get your minds
out of the gutters boys and girls!) slides open and in saunter
Obi-Lust Kenobi and Qui-Oh My! Gon, her hero's and favorite
Jedi Slash bunnies.
"Where have you been?" our heroine wails in abject misery "I've
been trying and trying to come up with a mindless, non-angst
ridden smut fest - but the Force doesn't hear me!"
Qui-Oh My! Gon quickly walks over and places his massive hands
on her shoulders in a soothing gesture "There, there our
Jedi-Angel, we're back now - we had to get rid of that pesky
Darth Maul person, we didn't want him scaring you." Qui-Oh My!
tells her, with just a whisper of -yes it is - an Irish accent
peeping through.
Obi-Lust Kenobi moves sinuously over to join the Jedi-writer
and his Master "Yes our Jedi-Angel, after all if that horrible
red/black icky person with a hairball for a pet scared you -
Master and I would never do the deed!"
"Patience Padawan" Qui-Oh My! cautions in that silky-smooth
baritone voice. "We don't want to give her performance anxiety,
after all we want this to be very good! - and do the
deed? What sort of a euphemism is that for something that will
rock both our galaxies, make us life-bonded partners for all
eternity and give dozens of slash- fic readers a happy? You
know, reader 's like Holly and Heather and Chris (shudder Darth
Maca-Rina), and Kristin and GlamonYa and Mona and all the other
lovely lovely people who help motivate our precious Jedi-Angel
to write stories that require a remember to breath caution."
Instantly contrite, Obi-Lust gives our heroine a wickedly melty
smile and a quick peck on the cheek (and his massive lover-man
a firm pinch on that luscious tush, making him jump and squirm
like a little girl). You're right Master forgive me - it's just
that I want you so bad, and she had me fantasizing about what
it would be like for us to get our galaxies off when she had me
in that shower - and Sith-Spawn I'm Horny!"
"Ohhhh Padawan - you're talking dirty . now the only thing I
need to find fulfillment is for you to show me your
lightsaber!" Qui-Oh My! croons, wrapping his hugely huge
arms around the writhing Padawan. "I'm afraid I have to agree
with Obi-Lust this time my Jedi-Angel - we need it bad!!"
"Well damnit - then do something inspirational .no . wait . not
on my bed!!! On second thought - mind if I come play too?"
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