Self-Discipline (Or, Exploring One's Limits)

by Lady Jane (ChalaRainGoddess@yahoo.com)

Rating: G

Pairing: Q/O

Category: Humor

Feedback: Of course.

Author's notes: No idea where this came from. It's short and it's way too late for me to be staying up.

"Well...this is certainly unprecedented."

"We're trapped in a dark, metal windowless tank, Master. The Force couldn't have warned you or something?"

"We were led here for the supposed 'negotiations' in good faith, Padawan. How would I have known that they had such hostile intentions? Besides, you're the one with the foresight gift."

"You're the Master."

"...."

<sigh> "Well, I guess we'll be here for awhile then. What was it that they wanted? A lifetime credit line or something like that?"

"Something like that."

<muttering> "Wankers."

"What was that, Padawan?"

"Um...bankers. The Council would have to get in touch with the bankers."

"That's what I thought."

"I wish I had my lightsaber."

"Well, I don't think that if they wanted to keep us in here, they'd leave us our weapons with which to escape, Padawan. You need to learn how to think more outside the box, you know. I mean, your whole existence does not begin and end with your lightsaber."

"I know that, Master. I just happen to be pretty handy with it, if I do say so myself. Who knows? My nifty combat skills may just come into play one day and you might just regret not polishing up on yours. And besides, they've put Force-dampers in the room. We're Jedi, the Force is pretty much our raison d'etre. Take away that and our lightsabers and we've pretty much got nothing."

"That's not the only thing that distinguishes us from the general populace, Obi-Wan. It's our entire philosophy, our mindset and the ideals we teach and live by."

"Being full of serenity isn't going to get us out of this room."

"No, but we can use this time to meditate."

[Momentary silence]

[Sounds of scrounging around]

[A crashing noise]

"OW!"

<sigh> "You know you can't see or feel anything in the dark, Padawan. Will you just sit still?"

"Hey! I found fruit!"

"What? Give me that!"

"Oh, no way, Mr. I'm-going-to-sit-here-serenely-and-meditate-till-the-universe-collapses. I found it. Hell, I stubbed my toe for it. This baby's mine!"

[A lunging sound]

[Something crashes and clatters]

"OOMPH!"

[A distinct splat!]

"Master, you killed it."

"It's a piece of fruit, Obi-Wan."

"Was."

"If you had been a more generous, caring, sharing Padawan and had offered it up to your Master first, then I probably would've been lenient and shared it with you. Now, neither of us can have the fruit."

"And this is your idea of self-discipline?"

"I like to think of it more as 'exploring one's limits.'"

"Ugh, now I'm covered in fruit pulp and fruit juice and I hope it's fruit....I'll have insects swarming all over me."

"Mmmmm...well, you do taste delicious."

"MASTER!"

"Let's not have this fruit go to waste, shall we?"

"This is your fault, you know. Why? What are thinking about...?"

[Clothes rustling]

[Moments later]

"Ohhhh, Master...."

~finis~