Archive: Master_Apprentice, OKEB, QJEB, Jedi Hurtaholics,
SWA-L, The Nesting Place (anyone else just ask :-)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Angst (no deaths), h/c, m/m sex - Q/O
Spoilers: Some for TPM and The Jedi Apprentice Books.
Summary: Set after TPM. Qui-Gon decides to take Obi-Wan away
so they can spend some uninterrupted time together. However,
long buried secrets and hidden needs threaten the outcome of
their venture.
Series/Sequels: Third story in the "Searching" series. Sequel
to 'The Truth' and 'Change' - Since this story ties up
a lot of the events from these two, it is probably best to read
them first. They can be found in the archives mentioned above
(or email me and I'll happily post them to you. :-)
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately......but I'm having fun
playing with them ...:-)
Feedback: Please !
Key: // indicates telepathy, indicates someone's thoughts
( also indicates emphasis on a word....Sorry to be
confusing....I hope it's clear which case is which :-)
I have a veritable posse to thank for all their help with this
story ! Hugs, and much appreciation go to Kat, Ana, Jo,
Kathy and Kelly.
This story is 'dedicated' to my hubby :-)....For being so
tolerant of my 'obsessions' <g>.
Chapter I
Alone, deep inside the Jedi Temple, Qui-Gon Jinn sat -
struggling to calm the chaotic barrage of emotions which
assailed him. Hoping solitary reflection would ease his inner
turmoil, he had taken sanctuary within one of the small
meditation chambers in the core of the Temple. However the
depth of his anxiety had thwarted his attempts to meditate. In
his mind images twisted and turned, over and over; their
ceaseless writhing battling against his desperate need for
calm.
All his thoughts were centred upon his Bond mate. Something
about Obi-Wan troubled him, and yet he couldn't touch upon
exactly what. The young man had recovered from the injury
sustained on Neider and seemed in good spirits. However, even
before today's alarming misadventure, he had been concerned at
the unfamiliar air of fragility surrounding his Padawan.
Obi-Wan was pale and thin, not so much as after Taogoa, but
still - cheekbones were far sharper than they should be in an
increasingly thinning face.
Immediately following their return from Neider he had sought,
and was granted, a reprieve from their normal duties. Though he
had been grateful for the Council's acquiescence to his
request, he was still troubled by the concern he had sensed
from them.
Bonded Jedi were rare, and a Bond between a Master and a
Padawan, though not without precedent, was even rarer. There
had never been an example of such a Bond in all Qui-Gon's years
as a Jedi.
Padawans were vulnerable. They shone like beacons, bright with
the Force, but their abilities were raw, and undisciplined.
Their power was a lure to the darkside. A Master needed to be
teacher, guide and protector - guarding an apprentice from
those who had embraced the darkness and would claim a Padawan
before he or she were fully immured to its malevolent call.
He had no such fears for Obi-Wan, but he knew the Council was
wary of a Bond which involved a Padawan. They had accepted that
Qui- Gon's relationship with Obi-Wan was guided by the Force,
but still they doubted the wisdom of pursuing such a path.
Bitterly, he recalled that his Padawan's appearance at the
Neider debriefing would have done little to allay the Council's
concerns. Pale and quiet, bruised shadows beneath dull eyes,
Obi-Wan had barely been able to stand upright; and it hadn't
taken Jedi abilities to sense their silent rebuke.
He had stood, trying not to reveal his own discomfort, his
Padawan's mortification painfully apparent, as the Council had
advised them to investigate the true nature of their Bond. He
had however, accepted the wisdom of their advice. The mission
to Neider had clearly illustrated that their Bond was much more
complex than he had anticipated; they would have to unravel its
complexities before they could return to their normal duties.
At the start of their hiatus Obi-Wan was under strict
instructions to rest. With the young man spending much of his
time in their quarters, Qui-Gon had taken the opportunity to
try to research the true nature of a Jedi Bond. However, it had
proved to be an almost impossible task. There were no other
Bonded Jedi living on Coruscant; and even if there had been he
was doubtful that he could have brought himself to question
them. A Bond was a painfully intimate thing, and highly
individualistic. He told himself that any other Jedi, Bonded or
not, would have been unlikely to provide any useful insight.
Instead he had spent his days studying ancient texts and
records, scanning centuries of Jedi History for any mention of
life Bonds - particularly those involving Masters and Padawans;
but frustratingly had found only the sketchiest of details.
It was Master Yoda who had advised him to abandon his
research. Now, as he sat battling his thoughts, he found
himself recalling the encounter - and the alarming event which
had followed their
discussion.................................................................
............
(((...............He was on the floor of the records room,
surrounded by texts, when he paused and looked up, sensing the
ancient Master's approach. He coughed as the elderly Jedi
struck out at one huge tome with his stick, sending up a cloud
of dust
"Not in a book will you find what you seek."
"Master ?"
"With the boy you should be." Yoda's wrinkled face creased
into a deep frown. "All that is here is dust." The diminutive
Master hit the book again to illustrate his point. Qui-Gon
waited until the resulting dust cloud had settled before
attempting to explain.
"I need to find out more about life Bonds-" He was interrupted
by a loud, lengthy sigh, and was forced to relinquish the book
he was holding as the elderly Jedi closed it and took it as a
seat.
"Learn yes, this you need to do, but nothing can the past
teach you." Leaning forwards the Jedi Master fixed him with a
penetrating gaze. "A life Bond this is, yes. A 'living' thing
it is, only from life can you learn."
Qui-Gon's face expressed his anguished frustration "Master I
cannot continue to wander along blindly. I...I have already
made too many mistakes-"
"Through mistakes learn you will-"
"Not at the expense of Obi-Wan !" As Yoda's eyes widened he
flushed and then paled. "I am sorry Master...I...." His voice
trailed off and he bowed his head, ashamed of his outburst. He
jumped a little as a small hand gently touched his face,
drawing his gaze back up. He was even more surprised to see the
tender concern there.
"Love him you do, hmm."
Wordlessly he nodded. Master Yoda smiled.
"Trust in the Force you do yes ?"
"Of course-"
"No ! There is no 'of course.' Trust it you must. Feel your
trust in it. Guide you it will. If you let it." The tiny hand
patted his cheek, and he felt bewilderingly like a young
Padawan again. "Go, be with the boy."........
Obediently he had nodded, stumbling somewhat awkwardly to his
feet he had replaced the books and returned to their quarters.
He had found Obi-Wan trying to restore a long dead
communicator; the bored youth had needed little persuasion to
join him on a walk into the City. He had hoped the light
exercise, and a chance to escape the slightly stifling air of
the Temple would refresh them both.
They had wandered through the streets in a companionable
silence. He was so consumed with his thoughts that it had been
some time before it had struck him that his Padawan had been
unusually quiet of late. He had tried to draw the young man out
in conversation but Obi-Wan had seemed distracted. He had
reached for his Bond mate through their link, and had become
aware for the first time that something was not quite right.
However before he could investigate further something else had
summoned his attention.
His gaze had been drawn to a number of work men assembling a
huge statue in the centre of the plaza; suddenly alert he had
called out a warning just as one of the cables supporting the
statue had snapped. It had whipped back with tremendous speed;
and as it coiled upwards, it had struck serpent-like towards
one of the workmen. Qui-Gon had used the Force to remove the
man from danger, everyone else had scattered. The remaining
cables had been unable to take the strain and one by one they
had given way, sending the statue crashing to the ground. It
had split upon impact, the body rocking slowly back and forth
while the head had rolled forward - directly toward Obi-Wan.
Horrified Qui-Gon had watched as his Bond mate stood,
seemingly unaware of the impending danger. //Obi-Wan !// His
cry had gone unheeded and he had sent out a Force wave to push
the youth aside, just as the huge stone head came to a stop -
directly where the youth had been a heartbeat before.
Even as the people had poured back into the plaza, almost
overwhelming him in their gratitude, his attention had been
focused upon Obi-Wan. The young man seemed dazed, almost
shocked. He had brushed aside further thanks and hurried his
Bond mate back to the Temple. Upon their arrival Obi- Wan
appeared to have regained his senses, and attempted to dismiss
Qui-Gon's concerns - putting down the dangerous lapse of
awareness to the 'tedium of enforced rest'. When he had tried
to question his Bond mate further, Obi-Wan fell into a sullen
silence and, distressingly, when he reached out along their
link the youth had raised his shields.
Realising he wasn't going to make any progress haranguing his
lover in the hallway. Qui-Gon had led the young man back to
their rooms. However once inside Obi-Wan had announced that he
was tired and was going to lay down. Torn between his desire to
find out what had caused Obi-Wan's alarming lapse of awareness,
and his concern for his Bond mate's physical state, Qui-Gon had
finally decided to allow the young man to sleep; he could
question Obi-Wan at length when the young man was rested, and
his own fear had subsided a little. Granting the young man his
privacy, he had withdrawn to the meditation
rooms...................................................................)))
)
Now as the shadows lengthened and the long day drew to an end,
he was forced to accept that his efforts had failed to bring
him any resolution. Maintaining a meditative trance had proven
impossible; he simply could not quiet his mind. Surrendering to
his growing agitation he stood, slowly stretching limbs
stiffened by the day's inactivity. Reining in his unease he
gathered his robes around him and left the meditation chamber.
Chapter II
It was growing late as he returned to their quarters, and he
walked through the long echoing corridors alone. Their rooms
were in darkness, but he could sense Obi-Wan's presence.
Qui-Gon found his sleeping lover - still fully clothed - upon
their bed; one arm casually thrown across his face. Sitting
down beside his Bond mate, he carefully drew back the young
man's arm; Obi-Wan never stirred. Reaching over, he stroked
away the unruly Padawan braid and dropped a soft kiss on his
lover's warm cheek.
Dark gold lashes fluttered open, revealing sleepy gray-green
eyes. The young man gave a soft sigh. //Hmm...hello.//
Containing his concerns, he smiled, //Hello// Leaning forward
he placed a soft kiss upon his lover's slightly parted lips; as
he made to draw back Obi-Wan's arm curled around his neck
//Stay....//
His breath caught as gray-green melted into smoky emerald,
pupils widening in arousal. The small part of him which still
remembered his worries was silenced, as Obi-Wan pulled him back
down, hungrily claiming his mouth in an urgent kiss.
Slick heat and rising desire. The sharp sweet taste of his
lover, both achingly familiar, and bewilderingly new. All
thought fled, as sensation took hold. Swift, clever fingers
divested him of his robe; he gasped as they slipped inside his
tunic, stroking over skin afire with need. He surrendered to
his Bond mate's demands as the young man pushed him over onto
his back. Straddling him, Obi-Wan gave a small sharp-toothed
smile of triumph, before sliding down his body - quickly
stripping him of his remaining clothing - muttering as frantic
fingers struggled with his boots, pushing away his attempts to
assist.
As the last piece of stubborn footwear went flying across the
room, he found himself pinned beneath a hungry-eyed Obi-Wan -
who was in his opinion still wearing far too much. Evidently
the young man shared his thoughts. His arousal spiralled as
Obi-Wan dropped back to sit between his legs - hastily pulling
off tunic, boots and leggings. All of which were carelessly
flung aside as the young man pounced.
Finally skin to skin he emitted a moan of pure delight.
Dizzily he absorbed the pleasure, Obi-Wan writhing maddeningly
against him. As the young man drew back he was unable to stifle
a desperate, "Obi-Wan-"
He broke off with a gasp, which became a barely contained
whimper, as his Padawan began to explore his body with lips,
and tongue, and gently teasing teeth.
Flames danced over his skin, everywhere his lover touched
burned. He was almost beyond pleasure. Lips trailed over every
inch of his bare skin, a flickering tongue following the same
path. Teeth gently grazed a turgid nipple, and he arched up
into the warm wet heat of Obi-Wan's mouth as the young man
suckled on it, a tongue fluttering around the aureola. This
time when the young man drew back he made no attempt to hide
his frustration.
Trembling he tried to move, only to be firmly pushed back down
onto the bed and held there. Looking up he found himself
staring into wild green eyes, before his mouth was taken in a
soul-stealing kiss. Released, he lay dazed; only aware that
Obi-Wan had moved when he felt strong, careful fingers curl
around his erection - just before it was taken into the fiery
heat of his lover's mouth.
His mind exploded as Obi-Wan relaxed his throat and swallowed
him down to the root. He raced towards release - only to be
denied as the young man took his mouth away, applying just
enough gentle pressure to curb his imminent need. He almost
sobbed. However before he could voice a protest, his lover's
soft lips returned, teasing the head of his erection; chasing
away his ability to speak. A tongue swirling around and over,
flickering against the head.
He watched, transfixed, as Obi-Wan's hand drifted down to take
hold of his own erection, stroking it as the youth
simultaneously drew him back into the deep maddening heat of
his mouth. This time his silent pleas were answered, as the
young man continued to suck hungrily; until with a shuddering
cry, he came - flooding his Bond mate's mouth with his release.
Obi-Wan swallowed it greedily; the youth pulling away just as
he spiralled toward his own release, spilling his seed over
Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon was still lost in a haze when his Bond mate moved up
to lie beside him - possessively draping an arm and a leg over
his recumbent body. After a moment he responded, placing an
unsteady arm around his lover's shoulders; his limbs still
shaky in the aftermath of orgasm.
He drifted toward sleep, until a slight shiver from the
younger man alerted him to the chill of the night air against
their rapidly cooling bodies. Gently he tried to extricate
himself from his Padawan's embrace - receiving a small sound of
protest as Obi-Wan snuggled closer.
"Obi-Wan." His reply was a soft murmur. //Obi-Wan.// This time
he received no response. Drawing in a deep breath Qui-Gon
rolled them over, eliciting a startled gasp from Obi-Wan - who
suddenly found himself pinned beneath Qui-Gon's much larger
frame.
Gazing down upon his Bond mate, Qui-Gon felt a flutter of
concern as he noted his lover's pallor - twin flushed cheeks
providing the only hint of colour in an otherwise pale face.
Reaching out through their link, he was relieved when Obi-Wan
reciprocated. However as he touched his lover's mind he was
unable to dispel a vague sense of 'wrongness.' He was aware
that Obi-Wan had sensed his unease when he caught his Padawan
frowning up at him. Deciding 'now' was most certainly not the
time for this, he shook off his introspection. Lowering his
head, he captured the young man's willing mouth, kissing away
their shared concern.
When he drew back there was no mistaking the hopeful gleam in
dancing gray-green eyes. He shook his head with a soft laugh.
"No. A shower and then bed. " The young man raised a
speculative eyebrow. "To sleep Obi-Wan, to sleep." Still
chuckling softly he moved off the bed. Standing, he reached out
and pulled a reluctant Obi-Wan to his feet. Grumbling, the
youth followed Qui-Gon as he wandered through to the shower
room.
To save time he led them both into the tiny cubicle to shower
together. However, faced with a warm wet Obi-Wan, he quickly
discovered that his body was not so depleted as he had thought.
Certainly parts of him didn't think so. His nipples hardened
and his semi-hard erection twitched as the young man brushed up
against him; not he felt, entirely accidentally, despite the
restrictive space.
"Shall I wash your back ?"
Stubbornly ignoring the parts of him which still wanted to
sink into sleep, he nodded, "Please, Obi-Wan."
Qui-Gon shivered as his lover moved away, already missing the
physical contact. However, Obi-Wan quickly worked the tablet
into a rich lather and stepped back. Strong fingers stroked
over him, kneading the slippery soap into his back and
shoulders. Stiff from time spent sitting upon hard unyielding
floors, it was all he could do not to purr under his Padawan's
skilful touch.
A hand dipped lower, rubbing the base of his spine. He leaned
forward bracing himself against the shower wall. The hand
drifted lower still, smoothing over his buttocks in lazy, soapy
circles. He trembled slightly as the younger man's erection
brushed against his leg. Then the hand stopped, as a wash rag
rinsed the soap away. There was a brief pause and then soft
lips touched against his back - as slowly the young man began
to kiss his way down his spine. Obi-Wan dropped to his knees as
the kisses travelled lower. Qui-Gon hissed as gently teasing
teeth nibbled across his buttocks, biting and sucking.
A wave of desire washed away the last of his weariness.
Turning quickly he reached for his Padawan; pulling the young
man to his feet he crushed the youth to him, devouring his
lover's lips in a bruising kiss. Obi-Wan responded eagerly,
thrusting forward, pushing him backwards into the shower wall
as the hot spray pounded over them.
The sweet, heady sensation of soap-slicked skin sliding
against him, breathless moans, pleasure-filled whimpers, sudden
gasps. His hand slipped down between their bodies gently
seizing hot, eager flesh; Obi-Wan cried out into his mouth,
then arched back. Emerald green stared into darkest blue, as
with maddening slowness Qui-Gon stroked his lover's hardness.
Entranced, he watched the interplay of emotions drifting across
Obi-Wan's face.
Pupils widened - inky black almost swallowing emerald green,
cheeks flushed - the colour flooding downwards, suffusing the
young man's chest with a rosy stain. Lips parted - Obi-Wan
clung to him. A sharp gasp, then a quickening of breath, as
Qui-Gon increased the pressure slightly, speeding up his
movements. Without warning he dropped to his knees, taking the
youth's erection deep into his throat. Obi-Wan gave a strangled
cry and bucked against him, shooting hot salty essence into his
mouth. He drank it eagerly, tasting his lover, only releasing
him when he had devoured every last drop.
As he stood Obi-Wan stumbled against him. He wrapped his arms
around his Bond mate stealing a heated kiss when the young
looked up.Obi-Wan smiled dreamily and leaned into his embrace.
//Hmm..love you....//
//I love you too, always.// Placing a tender kiss upon his
lover's, Qui- Gon began to wash away the last of the soapy
suds.
Assisting his dazed lover out of the shower stall, he dried
the young man briskly before giving him a gentle nudge towards
the bedroom. He quickly rubbed a towel over himself, then
wandered through into their bedchamber. He found Obi-Wan curled
up in the bed, already half asleep. Careful not to disturb his
Bond mate he slipped under the sheets, smiling when the sleepy
youth moved up against him. He pulled his young love close,
resting Obi-Wan's warm cheek against his chest. Simple
weariness succeeded where all else had failed, muting his
concerns and allowing him to drift into sleep.
Chapter III
Qui-Gon awoke to silence and shadows; stretched out alone
amidst the tangled sheets. He released a sigh of frustration.
Since their return from Neider, it seemed scarcely a night had
gone by that he hadn't woken to find Obi-Wan missing from their
bed. He knew that, as on previous nights, he would probably
find the young man sprawled asleep upon a couch.
Wearily Qui-Gon rose, wrapping his robe around him he went in
search of his absent lover; he frowned when he entered the main
chamber and found it empty. He drifted through the room,
unconsciously drawn towards his Bond-mate. Qui-Gon paused by
his Padawan's former quarters; the adjoining door was open and
someone was moving around inside. The room was unlit, but
Coruscant's bright moon shone in through an open window.
Qui-Gon stayed in the shadows; moving forward slowly, until he
was able to see directly into the little room.
Obi-Wan sat, cross-legged upon the bed; silver shadows dancing
across his naked skin. The young man was rummaging through his
box of keepsakes - a collection of trinkets and oddments, most
picked up from places they had visited together. He knew some
of them - the small marbled pebble that had been his gift to
the boy, the tooth of a Draigon, a little flute carved from
achana wood.
He felt a sharp stab of shame. His concern, however great, did
not give him the right to spy upon the boy. Still he was uneasy
that Obi- Wan seemed completely unaware of his presence.
Qui-Gon watched as his Padawan took something out of the box,
holding it up to the open window, it glinted in the moonlight.
It was a tiny bottle. Dark and slender, it gave no clue as to
its contents.
He hesitated for a moment and then stepped forward. "Obi-Wan."
The youth jumped, sliding off the bed on to the floor, wild
eyes darting frantically to the doorway. As he stepped into the
room, any misgivings Qui-Gon felt over spying upon his young
lover vanished at Obi-Wan's sudden guilty look.
Obi-Wan scrambled to his feet; boyish features set into a cool
bland mask. Qui-Gon watched as his Padawan slipped the bottle
back into the box, closing the lid with a soft click
"Sorry...I...I couldn't sleep. I was just....looking through
some of my things...." Obi-Wan's eyes fluttered around the room
nervously, settling everywhere but upon Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon attempted to reach his Bond mate through their link,
his alarm spiralling as he found his Padawan's shields firmly
in place.
"May I see ?" He motioned casually towards the box, disturbed
by the sudden panicked look in Obi-Wan's chameleon eyes.
"Its just junk....I was just sorting through it."
"In the middle of the night ?"
The young man shrugged "I couldn't sleep....I'm sorry I didn't
mean to disturb you."
Hi Padawan had offered the same excuse on previous nights, but
this time he was not appeased by it. Under his steady gaze
Obi-Wan appeared to grow increasingly nervous, dropping his
eyes to the floor.
"Obi-Wan what was in the bottle ?"
The young man's head snapped back up, his face bleached white
in the silvery light.
"B..bottle?"
"The bottle I saw you take out of your box. What was in it ?"
Obi-Wan's gaze slid back to the floor.
"Answer me Padawan !" Concern sharpened his voice - anguish
pushing him toward anger.
"N..nothing....it's...." The young man drew a shuddering
breath before continuing, this time with more certainty.
"There's nothing in it."
"Nothing ?" He frowned unconvinced. Obi-Wan looked
uncomfortable.
"I just....I just 'liked' the bottle."
It was a poor explanation, and even Obi-Wan seemed to know it.
They stood facing one another in awkward silence - Qui-Gon
struggling to decide how best to act.
He knew something was troubling Obi-Wan, and after
today's near disaster, he was afraid of what that 'something'
might be.
Qui-Gon remained convinced that, whatever it was, it had
nothing to do with their Bond. Their link allowed no room for
uncertainty, he could feel the love and desire the
younger man felt for him - and was continually astounded and
humbled by it. On the one occasion he had queried his lover,
Obi-Wan had become distressed, almost angry; clearly upset that
Qui-Gon would have any doubts about his feelings. Then Obi-Wan
had become alarmed, fearful that it was in fact Qui- Gon who
was regretting their Bonding. It had taken some time to
reassure the young man, and Qui-Gon had not brought the subject
up again.
Confident that it was not related to their Bond, Qui-Gon
decided Obi- Wan's poor concentration and general listlessness,
stemmed from their troubles on Neider. The young man had simply
got out of the habit of sleeping through the night; and
enforced rest was guarantied to put his Padawan in a restless
mood. The loss of appetite was more worrying, but again he told
himself - it was simply an 'after effect'. He had fully
expected these 'symptoms' to fade with time - today had
shattered whatever illusions he had been clinging to. Obi-Wan
was not getting better, he was getting worse.
Having identified, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was
something wrong with Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon now faced the problem of
how best to uncover it. He had already tried and failed to get
Obi-Wan to open up to him. Though with hindsight he realised
Master Yoda was right, he had been spending too much time on
research - time which would have been better spent with
Obi-Wan.
Of course Obi-Wan hadn't exactly been talkative of late. Today
had been a prime example of his Padawan's current
conversational skills - or rather 'the lack of'. He didn't want
to force Obi-Wan to talk to him; his instincts told him that,
though this was not a problem with their Bond, it was one best
solved between them as Bond mates - equals, not as Master and
Padawan. However it was, as he had just discovered, too easy to
slip into the role of Master - expecting, and receiving
obedience. Perhaps they needed to get away from the confines of
the Temple for a while ? Go some place where they could simply
be Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, and talk as lovers. He made his
decision.
"Come back to bed Obi-Wan."
The young man blinked stupidly at him for a moment, obviously
not expecting their conversation to take this turn; stepping
forward only after a noticeable hesitation. Qui-Gon put an arm
around cool, bare shoulders, and led his somewhat bewildered
lover back to bed.
Chapter IV
When Qui-Gon awoke again, midnight blue had dissolved into the
soft flushed pinks of morning; Obi-Wan was still sound asleep.
For a brief moment he lay content, simply enjoying the
closeness of the lean, warm body tucked up against him. Then
the troubles of the previous day began to make their voices
heard - a relentless litany of doubt and confusion.
He thought through the wisdom of his decision, and still found
the judgement sound. They needed to escape the stifling
seclusion of the Temple, to go somewhere they could explore
their Bond without the unintentionally prying eyes of other
Jedi. Somewhere they could just be lovers. He lay sorting
through possible destinations in his mind. There was one
place...Altair; a secluded world, uninhabited by men or
machines, a haven he had last visited as a Padawan. He had long
since held a desire to take Obi-Wan there, even before he had
realised his true feelings for the younger man. Now would be
the perfect opportunity.
Raising himself up onto his elbow he looked across at his
lover. The young man's normally smooth boyish face seemed tired
and careworn, tiny lines drawn around the youth's eyes and
mouth. How long had they been there ? Since Taogoa ? He traced
one gently with his forefinger. No, not Taogoa - Naboo. How
much of this was his doing ? Had his thoughtless actions carved
these lingering marks of grief into his lover's flesh ? Trapped
in his memory was the look of hurt anger on the younger man's
face, as he had announced his intention to take another as his
Padawan. Obi-Wan's grief had sliced into him before mental
shields had slammed into place, shutting him out.
Obi-Wan was still shutting him out, although not in the same
way, his Bond mate wasn't shielding against him - at least not
often. However, the younger man was clearly distressed over
something, and Obi- Wan's stubborn refusal to let him help left
him hurt and confused. Perhaps he shouldn't be so surprised,
even as a very young boy Obi- Wan had always tried to struggle
through his problems alone - as though seeking help was a sign
of weakness; but it grieved him that his Padawan still wouldn't
reach out for help.
Was it wrong of him to expect more from Obi-Wan now that they
were Bond mates ? Was he being unfair ? Was he demanding
too much from the younger man ? After all it wasn't as
though Obi-Wan was entirely aloof - certainly the young man
wasn't being physically distant. Qui-Gon stroked a soft cheek
sadly; that was part of what hurt - he felt as though his Bond
mate was trying to convince him that all was well by their
love-making; and it was tearing him apart.
He told himself that he was responding to Obi-Wan's almost
'overwhelming' physical and sexual demands solely because it
strengthened their Bond and enabled him to maintain the sense
of closeness he was afraid to lose. It did appear that, for the
moment at least, it was the only way Obi-Wan would reach out to
him. However it didn't eradicate the uneasy sense of guilt he
felt.
He was unable to deny that even the possibility of refusing
Obi-Wan was extremely unlikely. The intense pleasure of their
encounters simply swept away all other considerations, and he
was lost as soon as the younger man touched him. Even a touch
wasn't always necessary - an intense look, a smile, Obi-Wan's
clear rich voice; any of these possessed the power to shatter
his thoughts - replacing them with a burning need that both
awed and alarmed him.
Even now as his fingers drifted over sleep warmed flesh he
felt the first stirrings of his arousal. It seemed all his
anxieties couldn't over- ride his physical awareness of his
Bond mate. A side effect of being Bonded ? Or simply a side
effect of having a young and beautiful lover ? As gray-green
eyes slowly fluttered open he no longer cared.
Stretching slowly the young man pushed up against him,
grinning delightedly as he felt the physical evidence of
Qui-Gon's desire. Qui- Gon closed his eyes, trembling lightly
as Obi-Wan's fingers idly stroked across his chest.
The young man sighed dramatically, "I suppose we should get
up."
Qui-Gon's eyes shot open. "What-?"
Obi-Wan grinned wickedly
"Well you'll be wanting to get back to your 'research'." The
young man rolled his eyes, "and I still haven't finished
replacing the power circuits on that...hmph-!"
Qui-Gon cut his lover off with a kiss, and proceeded to kiss
and lick his way down his Bond mate's squirming body. Obi-Wan
giggled, struggling half heartedly to pull away.
"Hmm...power...cir-circuits...on that communicator..ah-!" It
was Qui-Gon's turn to grin as he found a particularly sensitive
spot. "Ah...oh...yesss..."
Trailing his tongue over the young man's flat stomach, Qui-Gon
lightly nudged the rising erection as he slid his hands down
trembling thighs. "Oh please...oh please...oh please...-." He
ignored his lover's pleas, drifting back up to claim a burning
kiss. Obi-Wan writhed and twisted beneath him; gasping when he
broke the kiss and drew back, //What do you want my love ?//
The young man shuddered, //You...I want you...//
The images suddenly flooding their link left him with no doubt
as to what his Bond mate wanted.
Reaching into the bedside cabinet he withdrew the bottle of
unscented oil. As he opened it Obi-Wan sat up and took it from
him. Smiling Qui-Gon leaned forward to steal a lingering kiss,
then lay back down upon the bed. Obi-Wan impatiently pushed off
the sheets and straddled him. Qui-Gon hissed as the cool oil
hit his belly, trickling down his sides. The young man's hands
trailed through it, warming it with shaking fingers, slowly
drawing it down to coat Qui-Gon's straining flesh. His hardened
member throbbed and pulsed beneath the sure, gentle strokes;
until the pleasure became too much and he caught the youth's
wrist.
Obi-Wan slid off his thighs, handing him back the oil before
laying face down upon the bed. Qui-Gon took a moment to admire
his lover, lean muscles and smooth skin tinted with the soft
blush of dawn. Then he carefully poured out a little of the
oil, letting it pool in the hollow of the young man's back. It
was Obi-Wan's turn to gasp, wriggling slightly as cold oil
trickled over warm skin. Quickly Qui-Gon massaged it into the
supple flesh, smiling as Obi-Wan arched up to meet his firm
smooth strokes.
He deliberately drew the oil upwards first. Rubbing it across
the young man's shoulders, and neck, he let his fingers linger
in the soft hair at the nape; Obi-Wan squirmed impatiently.
Pouring out a little more oil he stroked it down the young
man's sides, fingers sliding easily over the sleek muscle.
Obi-Wan pushed himself up and Qui- Gon's fingers slipped
underneath, first drawing across the taught belly muscle, then
moving up to tease sensitized nipples. Obi-Wan cried out in
wordless pleasure.
Qui-Gon slipped his hands back out and took up the oil again,
this time pouring it directly over the young man's buttocks.
Obi-Wan sank back down onto the bed, murmuring softly. Qui-Gon
let his long fingers stretch out to play across his lover's
flesh, lightly kneading each firm mound. Slowly he let his
touch wander inwards, stroking oil gently down the crease,
brushing his finger over the youth's opening with the lightest
of touches. Feeling his Bond mate's response rippling through
their link, growing dizzy with the pleasure of it.
When Obi-Wan pushed back against his gently probing touch he
deepened it a little, letting his oil slick finger slip inside
slightly. Sensing no discomfort, he pushed in a little further.
Obi-Wan voiced his approval.
//Yess...oh yess//
Qui-Gon pushed, feeling the muscle relax and give beneath his
gentle urging. A second finger joined the first, only moving
when he was reassured the young man was still in no pain. He
found the hidden nub and stroked across it lightly. Obi-Wan
cried out, no longer capable of speech.
Withdrawing his fingers Qui-Gon gripped slender hips, gently
raising the young man up until Obi-Wan was kneeling, head low,
upon the bed. Qui-Gon surrendered his hold and with tender care
guided his rigid flesh into the tight hot channel. Fully
sheathed he paused a moment letting them both adjust to the
overwhelming sensation of becoming one. Then as Obi-Wan shifted
back a little he began to thrust, slowly at first, increasing
the tempo as Obi-Wan moved to meet his thrusts. They reached
out to one another through their link - connected in body and
mind, feeling each other's pleasure as well as their own.
Qui-Gon reached around to take hold of Obi-Wan's length, hot
and heavy, the silken flesh hardening beneath his fingers. He
stroked it in time to his thrusts, instinctively knowing the
necessary pace to ensure his Bond mate's total pleasure.
Obi-Wan's excitement spiralled, drawing Qui-Gon helplessly
towards release, and with one last, almost savage thrust he
came. As he cried out his pleasure Obi-Wan stiffened in his
arms; a gasp and then a warm rush of heat as his lover's seed
spilled over his shaking fingers.
Struggling not to collapse across his lover, he withdrew
carefully. Heart still pounding in his chest he sank back onto
the bed, gently pulling Obi-Wan down to lay beside him. They
lay in comfortable silence, limbs entwined, fingers gently
stroking sweat slicked skin - not trying to arouse, just
seeking to prolong the sense of closeness.
After a little while Obi-Wan smiled, brushing his fingertips
across Qui-Gon's face. //What are you planning ?//
Genuinely puzzled by the question, Qui-Gon frowned at his
Padawan, causing Obi-Wan to chuckle softly. //I know that
furrow// A finger settled lightly upon the older man's brow. //
I used to dread it.// Grey- green eyes turned thoughtful. // I
knew it meant that you were thinking up some new and terrible
lesson for me//
Qui-Gon moved quickly capturing the young man's finger between
his lips. He sucked on it gently. //Terrible ?//
Obi-Wan gave a little gasp. //Hmm....well....perhaps not
terrible...but...ah...difficult-//
Qui-Gon let his tongue swirl over the digit. //You learnt
something from them did you not ? //
//Ah ah...yesss-//
//Such as how to keep your mind upon one task, when your body
has itself set upon another.//
//Hmm....//
He released the finger reluctantly, and to Obi-Wan's obvious
dismay. "However you are quite correct my love. I do have
something in mind." He smiled reassuringly to lessen the young
man's sudden apprehensive look. "Not a lesson, nor a task. More
of an excursion."
"An excursion ?"
"You recall me mentioning Altair."
Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully, "Yes, the planet you visited in
your final year as a Padawan."
"Well...I thought perhaps, since we have a little time to
ourselves, we could take the opportunity to go there."
He watched the young man's reaction carefully. Green-gray eyes
widened a little, and he thought he detected a hint of
uncertainty. However there was no real indication of unease as
Obi-Wan smiled.
"Why not." The smile became mischievous. "Of course it may not
be the garden paradise that you remember. I mean it's been
so many years since you were there. It's probably a
thriving metropolis by n-Ow !"
Obi-Wan rubbed his ear where Qui-Gon had flicked it. Qui-Gon
laughed at the young man's expression. However he had little
time to enjoy his moment of 'victory' before Obi-Wan reached
out and tugged his beard - none to gently.
"Ow !" He caught his Padawan's hands when the laughing youth
sought to continue his attack. Smiling he shook his head in
mock disapproval as he struggled to hold on to his lover, an
almost impossible task with them both still slippery with oil.
"Enough...Enough Obi-Wan."
His Bond mate sighed and lay still. "Alright I surrender. Do
with me as you will." Qui-Gon chuckled and stole a kiss.
Obi-Wan grinned. "You can do more if you like." It was
Qui-Gon's turn to sigh dramatically.
"Have pity Obi-Wan. I will need some energy to fly the
ship."
Obi-Wan shook his head in mock reproval.
"Master...master...that is why we have auto-pilot." As the
young man laughed, Qui-Gon pushed his Bond mate onto the floor.
With a long suffering sigh Qui-Gon climbed out of bed, stepping
over his mirthful lover.
"You need to shower Obi-Wan." The young man scrambled to his
feet. Qui-Gon pushed his Padawan back onto the bed gently. "I
will go first. You can go after." Obi-Wan lay arms
outstretched - a tempting vision, but Qui-Gon managed to turn
away....just. He wandered through into the shower room; his
mind entertaining images of incubus, and elemental creatures,
thoughts tangled with the image of a beautiful green-eyed young
man.
Chapter V - Obi-Wan
Mid-morning found Obi-Wan out in the city, threading his way
through the crowded streets with deceptive ease; feeling cold
and oddly bereft without his robe to draw around him. He was
hopeful that clad in his oldest, wearable tunic, he would pass
muster as an ordinary citizen. His Padawan braid had been a
problem; he had pinned it up and, having released his hair at
the back from its binding, had used the slightly longer strands
to disguise it as best he could. He was fairly confident it
would be enough to conceal his identity from any casual
observer. He shifted the bag upon his shoulder, feeling the
handle of his lightsaber stroke his ribs. The absence of its
reassuring weight against his thigh made him tense and uneasy.
He quickened his pace - he had very little time.
He had slipped away from the Temple shortly after Qui-Gon had
left in search of Master Yoda. His Bond mate wished to inform
the elderly Master of their plans - more out of courtesy than
necessity. He knew the older Jedi also planned to see about
acquiring a ship for their journey. However neither of these
tasks would take his lover long, and he was anxious to return
before his absence provoked any awkward questions. He had only
managed to cry-off accompanying his Bond mate by using the
erroneous excuse of running errands. A small lie which now
weighed heavily upon his conscience.
Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon was worried about him. He had done
everything he could to dispel his Master's unease, but still he
sensed it, rippling in waves off the older man. He felt trapped
by it, terrified Qui-Gon would probe too deeply and discover
the truth. At first he had tried to casually shrug off Qui-Gon
concern; but when that had failed to discourage the older man,
he had been forced to retreat from his Bond mate whenever he
sensed an attempt to make him 'open up.'
Somehow in the rigid atmosphere of the Jedi Temple it was easy
to hide behind a screen of silence, however he was starting to
feel afraid of what might happen now they were to leave. Still
a small part of him hoped this trip could provide what he so
desperately craved - an end to the nightmares which tormented
him.
Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon believed that he remembered very little
of what had occurred on Taogoa - and in truth at the time it
had been little more than a befuddled haze. However since then
he found himself remembering more and more, as half-formed
images hunted him through his dreams. He was both afraid and
ashamed to share these memories with Qui-Gon.
It had made sleep impossible - every time he closed his eyes
he smelt the rich sickly scent of oil, felt strange hands
pawing at his naked body Pretty...Very pretty Even more
terrifying were the nightmares where he stood helpless, trapped
behind a glowing red wall - gazing into deep blue eyes consumed
by pain. He would claw his way back to consciousness, lying
shivering and breathless, heart racing, too terrified to try
and go back sleep.
At first his dreams had been held at bay by the comfort of his
lover's arms, but it seemed their poison had plunged deeper.
Now every night he was haunted by his memories, and his
exhaustion was beginning to tell upon him. He desperately
needed to rest. The sleeping draft he had procured before the
mission to Neider did enable him to sleep without dreaming, but
it left him oddly disorientated.
He had been determined only to use it as a last resort, every
time he took some he told himself - no more, but as his
nightmares increased in frequency and ferocity, he found he
could no longer face sleep without it. Besides which it was
becoming harder and harder to remember which nights he had
taken some, and which nights he had not. The first vial had
been consumed at an alarming rate, and the second was already
more than half gone.
Hence his current desperate 'mission' - he needed more;
several vials at least, since he didn't know how long this trip
would last. He told himself it was only as a security measure;
he fully intended to stop using the draft. Yesterday had
frightened him, it seemed the sleeping draft had an unexpected
side-effect. It was no longer just the nights that were a
little hazy, now he was beginning to suffer from worrying
memory losses during the day. At first it was barely
noticeable, he would catch the end of a sentence in a
half-heard conversation; making it impossible to reply without
revealing that he had missed much of what had been said.
Yesterday was his first real 'blackout.' He had only the
vaguest recollection of even leaving the Temple. His first
really clear memory was of a Force wave hurling him backwards,
and then the pale shocked face of his Bond mate, as Qui-Gon
helped him to his feet. By the time they had returned to the
Temple he had some idea of what must have occurred. However it
wasn't the shock from his narrow escape which had knotted his
stomach in fear, but the thought of trying to explain himself
to Qui-Gon. He had tried to put off the inevitable questions by
pleading exhaustion. However his fear voiced itself as anger,
and even now he felt ashamed at how short he had been with the
older man.
Turning sharply down a narrow side street he left the general
throng behind; the stalls and shops which littered these narrow
twisting passageways did not attract the casual buyer. He
ignored the unwelcoming stares of suspicious sellers, moving on
briskly towards his goal. Despite the seeming same-ness of
every street he entered, he walked without any hesitation, led
by a Jedi's unerring sense of direction.
He stopped outside a small shop halfway down a street. The
windows were dark and dirty, making it impossible to see
inside. Straightening his shoulders determinedly Obi-Wan pushed
at the door, it opened a crack and then stuck. A muffled voice
called out from within.
"Just a minute ! Just a minute ! Let me just...ah...just move
this...like so...ugh...and then you can get in. Yes-" The door
jiggled violently. Obi-Wan released the handle, as he did so
someone inside began to drag the door open; muttering and
cursing with the effort. Suddenly the door swung backwards, and
there was a cry followed by a tremendous clatter. Obi-Wan
watched as a golden plate rolled out of the open doorway, he
side-stepped it nimbly - it travelled on a little way before
striking a pebble, wobbling and falling flat. He retrieved it
before turning back to enter the gloomy shop.
Even with Jedi-enhanced sight it took Obi-Wan a moment or two
before his eyes got used to the darkness. There was a curse
from somewhere in the vicinity of the doorway. He pulled the
door forward a little, and revealed the shop owner - laying in
an untidy heap amongst a pile of bric-a-brac. The greasy-haired
little man looked up at him. "Oh, it's you again." Frowning the
man waved a pudgy hand at Obi-Wan. "Well help me up ! Help me
up !"
Schooling his features to hide a smirk, Obi-Wan stepped over
the various pots and plates, and heaved the grumbling shop
owner to his feet. The man brushed Obi-Wan aside impatiently as
soon as he was upright, kicking his way through the untidy
jumble toward the counter. Obi-Wan waited patiently for as long
as he was able, which due to his growing sense of urgency
wasn't long.
"I need-" The shop keeper raised a hand to silence him.
Frustrated Obi-Wan waited until the little man had arranged
himself, in a business like manner, behind the counter. Finally
the shop keeper waved for Obi-Wan to continue. "I need some
more of the sleeping draft you sold me."
"How much more ?"
"As much as you have."
The shop-keeper's eyebrows rose."You have payment for this ?"
Obi-Wan stepped up to the counter; swinging his bag off his
shoulder he tugged it open and drew out the items he had
brought to trade.
The shop-keeper fingered them, thoughtfully. "These," he
lifted up a thread of glass Jacata beads, "are worthless."
"But-" Again the shop keeper waved him silent. Angrily Obi-Wan
held his tongue.
The man lifted up the boots Obi-Wan had acquired on Taogoa.
"However these are worth one vial."
"One !"
"That's my offer."
Obi-Wan stared at the man in despair, one vial would never be
enough. He hesitated, then with shaking fingers he withdrew
something else from the bag. The shop keeper's eyes lit up with
avarice.
"How....how many vials for this ?" The shop keeper practically
snatched it from his shaking grasp.
"This - this is a real focusing crystal !" The man's
eyes widened in disbelief. Obi-Wan nodded, mute with misery.
Holding it up to examine it more fully the shop keeper's face
grew suspicious. "Where did you get this ?"
"Does it matter ?"
"Yes it matters ! If I am arrested before I can sell it !"
"You won't be arrested. It....it belongs to a friend."
"Someone gave you this ? ! " There was no mistaking the
disbelief in the shop keeper's voice.
"No...no...they don't know I have it."
Comprehension dawned and the man smiled slyly. Obi-Wan felt
his stomach knot.
"Ah, you 'borrowed' this from your 'friend' ?"
"Yes."
"And this...'friend,' what if they come looking for it ?"
"They won't."
Greed warred with caution for a moment. Then the shop keeper
nodded, slipping the crystal away out of sight.
"Done." The man fussed about in a cupboard behind the counter
for a moment before turning round and placing three dark blue
vials before Obi-Wan.
"Three ! A focusing crystal is worth more than your entire
shop !"
The shop keeper stiffened.
"Perhaps, but three is all I have. You want more, you will
have to come back next week."
"I n e e d i t n o w." The shop keeper stepped back a little
at the dangerous flicker in Obi-Wan's eyes.
"It's all I have !"
Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath, forcing back the darkness which
threatened to rise up and choke him. He nodded and managed to
smile a little.
"Very well. If it's all you have." He made a small gesture
with his hand. "It is all you have ?" The fear faded
from the shop keeper's face as his features slackened, and the
man intoned blandly,
"Yes it is all I have."
Obi-Wan struck the counter, cursing under his breath.
Snatching up the vials he pocketed them quickly. As he turned
to go he hesitated, looking into the still blank face of the
shop keeper. Carefully he edged his way behind the counter, and
began rummaging around under it. However the crystal seemed to
have disappeared. Taking a deep breath he passed his hand
across the shop keeper's face, the man didn't so much as
twitch. He decided the shop keeper must be one of those
individuals who was extremely susceptible to Jedi mind control
- either that or he had been a little more forceful in its
application than he had thought.
Pushing back his disgust he searched through the shop keeper's
clothing - still nothing. Increasingly exasperated he decided
to risk a more direct approach.
"Where is the crystal ?"
The shop keeper smiled dreamily.
"Safe."
"Yes, but safe where ?"
"Safe."
"No !" Obi-Wan took another deep breath and lowered his voice.
"Yes I know it's safe but where is it safe. Where have
you put it ?"
"In the safe."
"What-?"
The shop keeper pointed at the cupboard behind the counter.
With a rapidly sinking heart Obi-Wan approached it, opening the
doors he let his sensitive fingers move lightly along the
shelves, reaching out with the Force, until..... "No." With a
gasp of dismay Obi-Wan slid open a tiny compartment revealing a
surprisingly sophisticated matter- transmitter; one capable of
breaking down inanimate objects into their molecular components
before transporting them to the other half of the device -
wherever that was be located. The crystal could be halfway
across the galaxy. Obi-Wan let his head rest against the
cupboard door with a soft thump.
After a brief moment he pulled himself together. The crystal
was gone, somehow he would have to conceal that fact from
Qui-Gon - he just didn't know how. He had come here with the
intention of using the crystal as a bargaining piece, but
somehow he had never actually thought beyond that point. He
looked into the expressionless face of the shop keeper,
horrified, as the reality of what he had done began to sink in.
He pocketed the vials and picked up his bag; waving a hand
across the man's face he staggered out into the street before
the awakening shop-keeper had chance to blink.
Chapter VI - Obi-Wan
He wandered back to the Temple in a blind daze. Utterly lost
in his despair, the relief he felt at finding Qui-Gon still
hadn't returned to their quarters barely registered. He went
through to his old room, dropping his bag on the floor beside
the bed. Reaching up to the shelf above he took down his
keep-sake box. Sitting cross-legged upon the bed he opened it
carefully and took out the vials. Solemnly he lined them up,
side by side, together with his most recent purchases.
Three full vials and one half....no - three quarters
empty. Would it be enough ? He reached out and stroked one
gingerly; freezing as he sensed Qui-Gon's approach. Quickly
scooping the vials up he slipped them all into the bag, pushing
it carefully under the bed.
"Obi-Wan ?"
"Coming !"
He closed the box, hastily putting it back on the shelf before
hurrying out of the room - only to slide to an abrupt stop as
Qui-Gon appeared in front of him. "Sorry Mast-...Qui-Gon." He
corrected himself hastily, hoping the slip would pass
unnoticed; his heart sank as he looked up. His Master missed
nothing.
Obi-Wan felt painfully young, as he struggled to meet his Bond
mate's penetrating gaze. "I....I was just getting some things
together...For our trip." Relax, relax He forced himself
to smile, and linked his arm through the older man's -
attempting to draw Qui-Gon away from the open doorway. "Did you
find us a ship ?" Qui-Gon seemed perplexed, but nonetheless
allowed Obi-Wan to lead him back into the main room.
"Yes, I have our ship, and I have spoken with Master Yoda."
Qui-Gon smiled. "It seems he approves of our plans." Seeing the
laughter in his Bond mate's eyes, Obi-Wan sensed there was a
little more to it than that.
"Oh ?"
"Yes. It seems he was growing impatient waiting for us to
leave. Apparently he had already decided that we should." The
older man laughed softly. "I think if we had delayed much
longer he would have flown us to Altair himself !"
Obi-Wan relaxed a little, he grinned. "As long as he didn't
decide to stay with us !"
The older Jedi feigned a look of horror; and Obi-Wan collapsed
into a fit of helpless giggles; as he did so he felt the knot
which had settled in his stomach ease slightly. Qui-Gon smiled
at him indulgently.
"Come along my Padawan, the sooner we get our things together
the sooner we can leave....and the happier Master Yoda will
be."
Chapter VII
Qui-Gon felt his anxiety lift a little as he watched Obi-Wan
pack - enjoying the young man's soft laughter. After their
early morning love- making Obi-Wan had become subdued. He had
returned from his shower to find his Padawan still stretched
out upon the bed, looking pale and tired. When the young man
had declined to accompany him to sort out a ship, he had begun
to worry that Obi-Wan was already having second thoughts about
their trip.
He had expressed his concerns to Master Yoda who had reminded
him, not unkindly, that Obi-Wan was still very young, and that
the young sometimes needed others to guide them. The ancient
Jedi added that even if Obi-Wan didn't want to go on
this trip, Qui-Gon - as the boy's Master, should know if it was
the right thing to do. Qui-Gon was not happy at the thought of
forcing his Bond mate, but at the same time he recognized the
validity of Master Yoda's advice. He was still Obi-Wan's Master
and as such was bound, on occasion, to make his Padawan
undertake tasks which the young man was objectionable to.
Qui-Gon could recall several occasions when Obi-Wan had been
less than pleased at his instructions - Jhu'khana meditation
exercises immediately came to mind. Traditionally they required
three days of sitting in complete silence - not an easy task
for a talkative, energetic fourteen year old.
After some deliberation Qui-Gon decided, still with some
slight misgivings, that even if Obi-Wan did suddenly announce
that he didn't want to go to Altair - he would insist upon it.
He didn't relish the thought of dragging a sullen moody Padawan
all that way, but if it was for Obi-Wan's own good - then so be
it. Nonetheless it was a relief to discover that any drastic
action appeared to be unnecessary, since Obi- Wan had
apparently undergone another mercurial mood change; the young
man now seemed quite content to be preparing for their trip.
Qui-Gon didn't take long to gather his few belongings; he left
Obi- Wan to finish packing while he contacted the control tower
to request that their ship to be readied for immediate
departure. He barely suppressed a sigh as he was told there
would be a slight delay.....'there was a minor problem - a
circuit failure in the ship's navigation panel, but they would
contact him as soon as it was repaired'. Qui-Gon thanked the
man and, with little else to do, sat down to wait.
He was already beginning to regret his decision to accept this
ship. Unfortunately there had been very little choice. With the
recent shifts in power there was some disharmony in the
Republic, and the Jedi had been sent out to ensure order was
maintained. No-one wanted a repeat of the Trade Federation's
recent exploits. Nothing too untoward had occurred, mainly the
usual grumbling which always accompanied the appointment of a
new Supreme Chancellor; but the Jedi Council was wary. The
encounter with the Sith had shaken the Order; perhaps, Qui-Gon
thought darkly, not such a bad thing - complacency could be
dangerous. However with so many Jedi absent available ships
were limited - and old; their numbers reduced even further by
the engineers decision to service the remaining craft.
As a Jedi Master, Qui-Gon was entitled to take a ship whenever
and wherever he chose - without having to give a reason, or log
in a destination. His arrival at the hanger, early that morning
had caused some consternation - with ships in various states of
repair, some scattered in pieces across the hangar deck.
Qui-Gon hoped he had hidden his dismay; nonetheless great
efforts had been made to find him an appropriate craft as
quickly as possible.
The ship he had finally been allocated was the last in line to
be serviced, and thus still in one piece; it had only recently
been in for repairs - hence its current position in the
'overhaul queue.' The Chief engineer assured the Jedi the craft
was perfectly spaceworthy, but in any case he would have one of
his men give it a thorough check. Evidently that 'thorough
check' had uncovered a fault.
He was about to tell Obi-Wan not to hurry, and to brew some
spiced tea, when his communicator chirped - their ship was
ready and waiting in departure dock 'C.' Gratefully Qui-Gon
thanked the engineer, ending the communication just as Obi-Wan
re-appeared; he opened his arms in silent invitation and the
young man crossed the room and settled in his lap.
Obi-Wan turned his head to nuzzle Qui-Gon's neck. "Trouble ?"
Qui-Gon dropped his head back, and closed his eyes.
"Hmm..no...no trouble."
"Well are we going then ?"
Warm fingers strayed inside his tunic, and Qui-Gon struggled
to bring his mind back into focus.
"Go ?....Yes, we can go."
"Good." The playful fingers left as Obi-Wan withdrew his hand
and jumped lightly to his feet; Qui-Gon stood a little more
slowly. He gave one last glance around their quarters, before
following his Padawan, as the young man headed for the docking
bay.
Chapter VIII
Out of sight and earshot of the engineers Obi-Wan made several
disparaging remarks regarding the condition and age of their
ship. One earned the Padawan a dark look, as the impudent youth
enquired, in an innocent tone, if it was the same ship which
had taken Qui-Gon to Altair on his first visit ! Qui-Gon gave
his Bond mate a swift smack which sent Obi-Wan laughing up the
ramp.
Inside the tiny craft things were more than a little cramped,
though the ship did at least have reasonably sized sleeping
quarters. Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan to organize their things, while
he settled himself into the cockpit; he checked the readings
thoroughly before flying them smoothly out of the hangar. The
bright orange lights of Coruscant soon faded behind them as
their ship headed into open space. Once they were clear of the
planet's atmosphere and he had steered them through the busy
shipping channels, Qui-Gon set the auto-pilot and went back to
join Obi-Wan.
Space may be cold, but small ships seldom were and this one
was no exception. His Padawan had already shed robe, boots and
tunic top, and was laying on the bed - looking hot and flushed.
Qui-Gon slipped off his own robe, before sitting on the edge of
the bed to remove his boots. He made no attempt to conceal his
surprise when Obi-Wan suddenly sat up and slipped past him.
"Where are you going ?"
Obi-Wan stood and gave him a puzzled look.
"To fly the ship." The young man said it as though it were
obvious.
Qui-Gon's stunned expression quickly shifted into a predatory
gleam, as he caught the teasing glint in gray-green eyes.
Reaching up he caught hold of his Padawan's braid, coiling the
silken strands around his fingers. He tugged gently, drawing
Obi-Wan down to kneel between his parted thighs.
"I thought that's what auto-pilot was for..." He continued to
twine the braid around his fingers, until his knuckles lightly
grazed his lover's cheek
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "Oh ?"
"So a certain young man told me."
His Padawan grinned. "That must be a very intelligent young
man."
Qui-Gon shook his head. "He's a brat." As Obi-Wan opened his
mouth to object Qui-Gon swooped down - capturing his lover's
lips, in a kiss guaranteed to silence any protests.
Sweet madness All thought fled as Qui-Gon devoured
Obi-Wan's mouth, demanding access to the sensuous heat within.
His Padawan responded with equal urgency, hands pulling
frantically at Qui-Gon's tunic. Still holding the braid in a
tight, almost desperate grip, Qui-Gon laid back onto the bed,
gently drawing Obi-Wan with him - until the young man lay on
top of him, never once pausing to break their kiss.
He reached down with his free hand to cup the young man's
buttock, as Obi-Wan ground his hips against him. He could feel
the heat of the youth's arousal through the layers of tunic.
Qui-Gon tried to control the pace but his Padawan was equally
determined. Finally he was forced to relinquish his hold on the
braid, needing both hands to turn them so he now lay on top of
Obi-Wan. Eyes alight with green fire burned into him,
demanding, pleading. He pulled away just enough to yank off his
tunic top - Obi-Wan's shaking hands assisted with his leggings.
Qui-Gon lifted himself up a little more, allowing the youth to
squirm out of the remainder of his clothing. He barely waited
until his Padawan had freed his legs before lowering himself
back down, closing his eyes to absorb the overwhelming pleasure
of hot flesh against hot flesh.
He felt Obi-Wan reach for him through their Bond link; as
their minds touched sensation spiralled, pure incandescent need
flared into brilliance, burning away the last lingering embers
of restraint. Qui- Gon set the tempo, his body moving
rhythmically over Obi-Wan's, as he covered his Padawan's face
and throat with fervent kisses. He felt Obi-Wan's hands clawing
at his back, urging him closer, faster....Flesh grew slick as
the tempo increased, driving them towards their release. As
Qui-Gon's tongue trailed fire across the young man's chest,
Obi- Wan's hands flew up to seize his face, drawing him into a
last deep, desperate kiss. He felt the young man tremble, every
muscle tightening, and as Obi-Wan cried out into his mouth he
fell blindly into his own shattering release.
He drifted back slowly to discover he was collapsed on top of
Obi- Wan, however when he tried to move the young man's limbs
entwined around him holding him in place //Hmm...don't
move.....//
Qui-Gon shifted slightly, drawing a little of his weight off
his lover, before complying with his Padawan's wishes. He
nuzzled a damp cheek until Obi-Wan turned his face, enabling
him to steal a kiss. The young man smiled against his mouth,
stroking his tongue over Qui- Gon's lips, deepening the kiss,
until Qui-Gon reluctantly drew back. //I love you, but I need
to rest a little.// Gray-green eyes filled with
laughter, even as Obi-Wan's perfect mouth set into a pout.
Qui-Gon moved off his Padawan to lay upon the bed, and this
time Obi-Wan made no attempt to restrain him. Instead the young
man turned onto his side and settled comfortably into Qui-Gon's
embrace.
Chapter IX - Obi-Wan
Obi-Wan was trapped by walls of red, forced to watch
helplessly as a horned beast ruthlessly drove his Master back.
In a move almost too quick to follow the creature struck.
Obi-Wan howled as his Master stumbled towards him, deep blue
eyes already dulled to soulless black.
//Obi-Wan !//
"Nooo!" He shot up, to find himself crouched upon a cabin bed.
Disorientated, he fell back gasping, trying to sort through the
images.
//Obi-Wan !//
//Ma...master ?//
//Get up here now !//
Still trying to shake himself free of his nightmare, Obi-Wan
scrambled to his feet. Snatching up a robe from the bottom of
the bed he raced out of the room, pulling it around him as he
ran.
He tumbled breathlessly into the cockpit, his sense of urgency
fuelled by the tension he could feel flowing from the older
man. Qui-Gon sat in the pilot seat, face grim with effort as
the Jedi Master wrested with the controls.
"We're losing power Obi-Wan, I can't stop our descent."
Obi-Wan looked past his Master to the viewscreen, and felt his
stomach plummet - instead of distant stars he saw cloud vapour,
growing rapidly more turbid as they plunged deeper into
swirling gray mists.
"I don't have enough engine thrust to break us free of the
atmosphere."
On the surface Qui-Gon's voice was deceptively calm, but
Obi-Wan caught the edge of desperation beneath the level tones,
and the seriousness of their situation struck him like a slap,
shaking him free of his shock.
"I'll check the engines !"
Without waiting for an answer Obi-Wan stumbled back through
the ship, hampered by his robe - which he now realised was
Qui-Gon's. Hoisting it up he ran through the narrow passageway,
bare feet slapping against the cold metal. The walkway grew
warmer as he approached the engine room, and as he opened the
door a wave of heat almost knocked him off his feet.
Inside the temperature was stifling. Pushing up his sleeves
Obi-Wan opened a wall mounted tool box and selected a small
hydro spanner. The ship began to shake as it was buffeted by
the planet's atmosphere. Steadying himself Obi-Wan tried to
remove the engine's control casing, only to release it quickly
as the metal scorched his skin. Grimacing he carefully drew his
sleeve over his burnt fingers, and managed to lever the panel
off. Inside was a fused mass of molten wires and fused circuit
boards; cursing he fumbled with the hot panel - pushing it
clumsily aside.
Sweat ran down his forehead, trickling into his eyes; sore
swollen fingers were already slippery with it. He wiped his
sleeve across his face, trying to clear his vision; his eyes
felt as though someone had poured salt water into them. Biting
his lip he pushed back the pain, struggling to keep his focus
upon the task in hand. Carefully he tried to pry away the fried
circuits to look at the damage underneath. A shower of sparks
made jump him back, just as the ship shuddered violently,
sending him sprawling to the floor. The hydro spanner flew from
his grasp - disappearing underneath an energy coil.
Obi-Wan lay dazed for a moment, then as the ship steadied
itself he rolled over onto his belly and tried to retrieve his
spanner....it was just beyond his reach. He tried to use the
Force to draw it to him, but it seemed to twist away, eluding
his desperate pleas. His sight seemed to be growing cloudy,
alarmed he scrubbed at his eyes - ...and found he couldn't feel
his hands....everything was slipping away....he was
drifting.....falling.....darkness.
//Obi-Wan !//
Obi-Wan shook his head groggily, he was still stretched out on
the floor, his hand underneath the energy coil.
//Obi-Wan ! Get out of there !//
He didn't hesitate, pushing himself to his feet he staggered
unsteadily out of the engine room, slamming his hand against
the door panel. As the door shut behind him he felt the impact
of an explosion against it. The shockwave drove him forwards
and he collapsed onto his knees. Almost at once the ship
lurched, then it began to spin; sending Obi- Wan hurtling
helplessly down the passage. He was thrown from wall to floor,
clawing uselessly at them as he fell. The force of the ship's
spiralling descent slammed him brutally into the bulkheads,
battering his body, driving the air from his lungs.
He heard Qui-Gon's desperate //Obi-Wan !//, then the harsh
groan of rendering metal, a terrible screeching as the ship
itself seemed to cry out; before he was sucked into silent,
bottomless black as everything crumpled around him.
Chapter X - Obi-Wan
Consciousness beckoned, but bruised and battered, Obi-Wan was
reluctant to follow. Persistently it pulled at him, until
slowly, painfully he responded. His senses were immediately
overwhelmed with the acrid smell of scorched metal and burning
rubber. Choking he coughed helplessly, jarring his body sending
spikes of fresh pain shooting through him. Gasping for breath
he almost slid back into the welcoming darkness, only to be
jolted from it by the sharp metallic taste of blood.
Cautiously he ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth,
discovering a loose tooth and enough little cuts and nicks to
account for the blood filling it; allaying his fear of a more
serious cause. He tried again to call the Force to his will,
but it still seemed deaf to his cries. Almost sobbing with
frustration Obi-Wan reached out slowly with his fingers,
feeling the rough weave of his robe, and the smooth metal
surface of the deck ?
From touch alone he couldn't tell where he lay, but he was
reluctant to open his eyes; he wasn't even sure that he could,
they felt as though they had been repeatedly pummelled by sharp
knuckled fists. Blinking to ease the stiffness of his lids, he
eased them open slowly, whimpering as the cold bright light hit
them. Tears flooded his vision, blurring everything into
shapeless shadows.
Gradually his sight cleared, and it was then Obi-Wan realised
he must have fallen the full length of the ship. He was sitting
with his back pressed up against the cockpit door, however the
ship was apparently twisted onto its side, as his legs were
stretched out across a wall; the floor to the left of him, the
ceiling to the right.
With the Force still refusing to answer his call, Obi-Wan drew
his stiff swollen fingers down each limb and across his torso,
checking for injuries. It appeared he had been fortunate;
scarcely any part of him had escaped being bruised, scraped or
scratched, but nothing was broken, and he had no deep
lacerations. Gritting his teeth he pushed himself up onto his
hands and knees, and turned around to face the cockpit door.
"Qui-Gon !" An ominous silence was all that greeted his
desperate cry. //Qui-Gon !//.Stabbing frantically at the door
mechanism he called out again//Qui-Gon !// Realising the door's
controls were useless he wrenched off the panel. Tears blurred
his vision as he struggled to override the switch; his burnt
fingers refusing to manipulate the wires. He finally succeeded
in isolating the correct wires, only for them to slip from his
grasp as he attempted to twist them together. "No !-"
Distraught he tried again, but it was hopeless. Without the
Force to aid him he could only beat his fists in frustration
against the door, crying out his anguish, "Qui-Gon ! Qui-Gon !"
.//Master.....Master...Answer me....please.....//
Chapter XI
It was the siren call of his Padawan's despair which pulled
Qui-Gon back from the darkness. Instinctively he reached out to
comfort and reassure his Bond mate, //Obi-Wan.//
//Ma..master-?//
//Ssh Obi-Wan, I am safe. Are you hurt ?// His reply was a
jumbled rush of images and emotions so painfully intense, he
had to fight not to raise his shields against them. //Obi-Wan
hush, it's alright.// He tried to soothe the distraught youth
through their link but Obi-Wan seemed on the verge of total
collapse. Ignoring the pain Qui-Gon struggled free of the
wrecked pilot seat and scrambled toward the doorway. Realising
the door's controls were useless he drew upon the Force to
assist him.
He had barely begun to pry it open when Obi-Wan wriggled
through the narrow gap. The youth threw himself at Qui-Gon,
enfolding the older man in a fierce embrace; Qui-Gon clutched
his tear stained Padawan no less frantically, as he reassured
himself that Obi-Wan was alive, and whole, and unhurt. It was a
trembling Obi-Wan who finally drew back a little, just enough
to scan Qui-Gon with anxious gray- green eyes.
"You're not hurt ?"
Qui-Gon shook his head; gently drawing Obi-Wan back toward him
he held the shaking youth close, laying his cheek against his
Padawan's soft spiky hair.
"We have been very lucky." He glanced around the darkened
cockpit, the view screen was entirely blacked out, buried in
some unknown substance. "However I feel our ship has fared less
well. Perhaps we should take a look and see ?" He relaxed his
embrace, raising his hand he brushed his fingers lightly across
a tear stained cheek, Obi-Wan watched him through damp spiky
lashes. "Alright ?" The youth nodded.
Using the Force Qui-Gon opened the door a little further
before clambering carefully out of the cockpit, Obi-Wan
followed. Edging along the passageway, he eased aside the
debris, ducking under exposed wires and pipes - still spitting
sparks and hissing steam. The main door was free of wreckage,
but as Qui-Gon extended his senses he realised it was still
impassable as it was completely blocked from the outside.
He turned his attention to the emergency hatch, opening the
first door warily. Qui-Gon knew the ship's hull had been
breached - the fact that they were still alive, indicated the
planet had a breathable atmosphere; but other than that the
world outside was unknown. Clad only in his tunic and boots he
slipped easily into the narrow exit tube; though it required a
little more effort to turn himself in order to operate the
manual release mechanism for the outer door. As it opened
slowly he glanced up, Obi-Wan was watching him intently, face
drawn and shadowed.
"Wait there." Obi-Wan gave no indication that he had heard.
"Obi- Wan !" The youth's eyes snapped into focus, "Stay inside
while I take a look." The young man opened his mouth as if to
object, but then closed it, nodding silently. Qui-Gon offered
his Padawan a reassuring smile. //I won't be long Obi-Wan.//
Obi-Wan didn't smile back, a worried furrow had settled between
concerned gray-green eyes.
Qui-Gon turned away; sliding down the exit tube he dropped to
the ground in a crouch, his fingers immediately sinking into
cold, black sand. Damp and gritty it clung to his skin.
Brushing it off as best he could he stood, turning around to
face the ship. He quickly realised it was this same black silt
which had cushioned their impact, saving them from almost
certain disaster.
Their stricken craft lay on its side, half buried in the sand;
its once sleek form savagely torn apart. His eyes were drawn to
the deep ragged tear along its underside, where the outer hull
had literally been shorn open; a victim of the jagged rocks
which jutted up out of the desolate gray landscape. These razor
like projections stretched out as far as the horizon line on
all sides. Had they struck the ground anywhere but here the
ship would have been ripped to pieces.
The black sand surrounded a deep blue-green pool, its opaque
surface eerily still and lifeless. In fact the whole planet
seemed strangely silent - no bird song, no insects, no sign of
life at all, save for a few sparse clumps of withered yellowed
grass. These pale bedraggled plants were the only other colour
in a monotonous landscape of gray and black. As he walked
forward the sand became stonier, stretching out into a cracked,
ridged surface. He squatted down to touch the ground beneath
his feet, frowning as he did so - it was basalt; which meant
the 'sand' wasn't sand at all - it was volcanic ash.
He scanned the horizon line, taking in the distant mountains -
were they volcanoes ? and if so were they still active ? There
was sign that they were, and certainly the lava beneath his
feet had long since cooled, wrinkled into knolls and fissures.
He shivered suddenly chilled. Hearing the crunch of sand behind
him he turned, not overly surprised to see Obi-Wan gingerly
making his way across the rough terrain.
Qui-Gon shot his Padawan a mildly displeased look, "I thought
I told you to wait in the ship ?"
"Sorry Master." Obi-Wan looked genuinely contrite, and Qui-Gon
had no wish to belabour the point so he merely nodded,
accepting the youth's apology. Obi-Wan looked relieved and
edged a little closer. "Do you know where we are ?" Sighing
wearily Qui-Gon shook his head.
"No, it seems the navigation system was malfunctioning."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "So...we could be anywhere ?" Despite
the young man's efforts to conceal it, Qui-Gon caught the sharp
edge of worry in his Padawan's voice.
"I doubt we can have travelled far Obi-Wan. We will initiate
the distress beacon, someone will find us."
Obi-Wan nodded but Qui-Gon knew his Padawan was far too astute
not to have guessed the true nature of their situation. Their
ship was certainly no longer capable of flight, they were
stranded here until someone came for them. However, they had no
way of knowing how long the navigation system had been feeding
the autopilot false information; they could be light years away
from any inhabited area of space. Their distress beacon had a
limited range and power supply; it was entirely possible no-one
would hear it.
Qui-Gon tried not to dwell on where all this might lead;
instead he focused upon their immediate challenges - setting
the beacon, cataloguing their supplies, and finding shelter.
The ship appeared fairly stable but it was very close to the
water, and a tremor, if there was one, could send it into
unknown depths. He decided it would be best to make shelter
close to the craft, rather than inside it. He was about to call
Obi-Wan to follow him when he noticed the young man's bare
feet. Scratched by the sharp gritty sand, and abrasive rocks,
they were bleeding from numerous cuts and welts.
"Obi-Wan !-" The young man followed his gaze, quickly dropping
the corner of robe he was holding.
"I didn't have time to get my boots."
Qui-Gon frowned, the explanation was acceptable - but it did
not account for why his Padawan had disobeyed him to cross the
harsh terrain barefoot.
"Stay here," he made his expression just severe enough to
discourage Obi-Wan from any further rash behaviour, "and
don't move. I'll fetch your boots." Obi-Wan nodded,
looking suitable abashed. However as Qui-Gon turned to go the
youth added,
"I need my robe too." Qui-Gon looked at the robe his Padawan
was wearing and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. Obi-Wan smiled
somewhat sheepishly and held up an arm, the sleeve hung over
the young man's hand. "I think this one is yours."
Chapter XII
Qui-Gon climbed back into the ship cautiously. Though the ship
seemed secure - held fast by the sand - he made his way slowly
and carefully. The air around him crackled with electricity
making his skin tingle; while the smell of burnt rubber and
plastic made him nauseous. Struggling to ignore the assault on
his senses, he re-entered the cockpit. Pulling aside the broken
remains of the pilot's seat he reached under the console to
switch on the emergency beacon's independent power supply. He
gave a small sigh of relief as a green light flickered on - its
steady pulse a sign that the beacon was now working.
Moving back through the ship he entered their sleeping
quarters; the door was half open, allowing him to slip inside
with relative ease - despite the devastation within. The
bedding had been torn from the bed, the mattress completely
up-ended, their few belongings were strewn around the room. He
located Obi-Wan's boots first; it took him a little longer to
track down the young man's robe, and while he was looking he
also discovered Obi-Wan's tunic. As he turned to leave his foot
struck something soft - Obi-Wan's bag. He picked it up,
noticing as he did so that one side of it was newly damp -
stained with something, a dark substance, oily against his
fingertips. After a moments hesitation he decided against
opening it - he would leave that to Obi-Wan. Instead he held it
in a way which, he hoped, would minimise any further damage to
the contents.
Obi-Wan stood anxiously awaiting his return, smiling in relief
as he re-emerged from the ship. However as he approached, the
young man's eyes dropped to the sodden bag in his hand; they
flickered up again quickly, and he caught a glimpse of
something - panic ? in their mercurial depths; before Obi-Wan
shuttered it away. Qui-Gon was careful not to indicate that he
had noticed anything, smiling as he handed over the clothing.
Obi-Wan uttered a slightly subdued 'thank you' before reaching
for them. However Qui-Gon was quite unable to contain his
horror as he took in the ruination of his Padawan's hands. Too
late Obi-Wan tried to hide them. Dropping the clothing, Qui-Gon
took hold of Obi-Wan's wrists as the young man attempted to
pull away,
"Let me see them Obi-Wan !" Silently, sullenly the
young man obeyed and Qui-Gon sorrowfully cast his eyes over his
Padawan's sore, swollen fingers. Burnt and blistered they had
to be causing the young man tremendous pain - but Obi-Wan,
being 'Obi-Wan', was bearing it with typical stubborn stoicism.
Qui-Gon withheld a sigh - just. He would have to go back for
the medi-kit. He cursed himself for not bringing it earlier -
Obi-Wan's abused feet would also need attention.
Releasing the young man's wrists he bent down to pick up the
robe and tunic; standing he motioned Obi-Wan to remove the
other robe. After a slight, almost imperceptible hesitation,
Obi-Wan did as he asked. Qui-Gon's mouth tightened into a thin
hard line as he took in the bloody scrapes and rising bruises
scattered over his Padawan's body. Wordlessly he assisted
Obi-Wan in dressing; folding his own robe up he lay it down
upon the smoothest patch of ground in sight. "Sit there." When
Obi-Wan just looked at him Qui-Gon stepped forward; laying his
hands upon his Padawan's shoulders, he gently pressed the young
man down. Then he turned and without another word strode back
across the sand toward the ship.
Qui-Gon was alarmed by the anger flowing through him; but the
sight of Obi-Wan's injuries had induced a rage he was powerless
to contain. Much of that anger was directed against himself; he
fully recognized the futility of regret, but he couldn't help
but curse his decision to leave Coruscant. He wasted no time in
retrieving the ship's medi-kit, striding back across the black
sands just in time to witness Obi-Wan struggling to put on his
boots.
"Obi-Wan !-" As his Padawan froze mid-action, Qui-Gon covered
the last bit of ground at top speed, taking the boots off a
startled Obi-Wan he set them well out of reach. He sat down and
took hold of Obi- Wan's left foot, lifting it gently onto his
lap, "Just sit still and let me take care of you, alright ?" He
saw his Padawan's eyes widen at the raw emotion in his voice,
and he struggled to bring himself back under control. Keeping
his head bowed he concentrated on cleaning the dirt and blood
from the young man's foot. He was relieved to discover that
most of the blood came from superficial scratches; he smeared
them with antiseptic ointment, and then turned his attentions
to the right foot. It had one slightly deeper cut just inside
the instep, and he felt Obi-Wan tense up as he cleaned the grit
from it. He used their link to offer wordless comfort - still
not trusting himself enough to speak.
Finally done, Qui-Gon set Obi-Wan's feet back down upon the
robe, and reached for the young man's hands.
"They're not so bad-" Obi-Wan fell silent at his sharp look.
The young man remained silent while he examined each badly
burnt finger; but sucked in a sharp breath when he began to
gently clean them. Qui- Gon used the Force to ease his
Padawan's discomfort; not giving a thought as to why Obi-Wan
wasn't already doing so. Neither he nor Obi-Wan were trained as
Healers, but all Jedi possessed the ability to accelerate the
healing process, and could place themselves in a healing trance
when necessary - just as he had done on Naboo. Qui- Gon used
this ability now, to heal the worst of Obi-Wan's cuts and
burns.
When Qui-Gon was satisfied he had done as much as he could, he
wrapped them in a thin layer of gauze to protect them as they
healed; and then turned to deal with his own minor cuts and
scrapes. He had only one which required moderate attention, a
cut, just inside his hairline where a 'flying' panel had struck
him. It had already stopped bleeding, and he peeled away the
matted strands of hair which had become entangled in the dried
blood. He didn't miss the way Obi- Wan's eyes narrowed,
evidently the young man hadn't noticed his injury before now.
He could feel the concern and frustration emanating from his
Padawan, who, bandaged as he was, was unable to offer any
assistance. Still Qui-Gon had years of practice at dealing with
his own injuries, and was only mildly hampered by the fact that
he couldn't see this one.
Finished, he set the medi-kit aside and stared up at the sky -
a dreary washed out gray, it appeared to be darkening slightly
towards the distant mountains - a storm ? or simply night
settling in ? Either way they would need shelter. Standing,
Qui-Gon unhooked his lightsaber from his belt and held it out
to the younger man,
"Stay here Obi-Wan, and be watchful," he gave his Padawan a
warning look, "I cannot sense any life here, but that doesn't
mean that we are alone."
However as he spoke Obi-Wan was already scrambling to feet,
"I'm coming-"
Qui-Gon cut in firmly, "No, you are not. You will wait here."
"I can help !" The young man's tone was almost plaintive, but
Qui-Gon shook his head,
"Obi-Wan your hands need to heal a little. Now please do as I
ask and stay here." Perhaps it was the weariness in his voice,
or his use of the word 'please' which shifted Obi-Wan into
obedience. Whatever the trigger, the young man whispered a
barely audible,
"Yes Master," before accepting the lightsaber, and sitting
back down upon the folded robe. Qui-Gon knelt back down
quickly, taking the dejected looking face in his hands, he
placed a light kiss onto surprised lips.
"Qui-Gon, not 'Master.'" He smiled, a little sadly. Obi-Wan's
eyes glittered,
"Hmm yes, I forgot.We're on vacation."
Qui-Gon shot the youth a sharp look to see if the young man
were being sarcastic, but he saw only mischievous humour in his
Bond mate's gaze. He shook his head in silent wonderment - both
at Obi- Wan's sense of humour, and its timing.
Chapter XIII - Obi-Wan
The amusement left Obi-Wan's face as he watched Qui-Gon head
back toward the ship. Had his hands not hurt so wretchedly, he
would have punched the ground in frustration. It had been
mortifying enough, to have to sit like a child while Qui-Gon
had tended to his injuries. To have to sit here now, while his
exhausted Master did all the work, was unbearable. He stared
despairingly at his bandaged fingers, only grateful that, as
yet, Qui-Gon hadn't questioned his failure to use the Force.
Obi-Wan was deeply shaken by his inability to draw the Force
to him, something that had only ever occurred before when he
had been very sick.. He shivered, remembering his desperate
attempts to use the Force on Taogoa. Then he had felt
disjointed - able to call the Force, but unable to control it.
Now, he felt disconnected. He could still sense the Force, but
it wouldn't respond to him. His mouth twisted bitterly, perhaps
losing the sleeping draft wasn't such a bad thing.
When Obi-Wan had caught sight of his soaked bag, his insides
had turned to ice. He had fought to conceal his panic, managing
to wait until Qui-Gon had returned to the ship before
frantically rifling through its contents; heedless of injured
hands or broken glass. However his desperate search had
revealed only shattered remains - all three vials had been
completely crushed, their precious contents lost.
Of course there was a chance, a very slim chance, that
the fourth almost empty vial, was still in one piece. It had
been in his robe pocket, but since it wasn't there now he
assumed it had fallen out inside the ship. However, another
possibility struck him as he sat - what if the vial had slipped
out when Qui-Gon was carrying the robe ? It could be somewhere
outside the ship. Spurred into action by the thought, Obi-Wan
wasted no time crawling over to his boots, wincing as sharp
stones dug into already tender, broken skin. It was a painfully
laborious task, to force his swollen feet into the unyielding
leather. His bandaged hands were all but useless, and he
finally gave up trying to fasten the buckles.
Biting his lip, he stood, a little alarmed at how unsteady he
felt. Drawing in a deep breath he set off across the uneven
ground, trying to trace the path Qui-Gon had taken. He scoured
the ground hungrily, pacing back and forth; until a sudden
twinge in his side took him by surprise.
//Obi-Wan ?//
Qui-Gon's concerned mental voice called out to him. Obi-Wan
sucked in a sharp breath; clutching his side he attempted to
raise his shields, to block Qui-Gon's awareness of his pain.
They wavered rather alarmingly, and he knew he had only
partially succeeded. He tried instead to offer worded
reassurance,
//It's nothing. I'm alright.//
He knew he had failed when he still felt Qui-Gon's concern
through their link.
//You are not resting.// It wasn't a question, Qui-Gon had
slipped through his defences and into his mind. //I told you to
stay there did I not ? !// It was worry, not anger which
sharpened Qui-Gon's 'voice'; but in pain, and somewhat panicked
Obi-Wan's own temper flared,
//I didn't realise I had to obey orders from my
lover.//
A lengthy silence met his words, and he almost cried out an
apology. The pain in his side was easing slightly when Qui-Gon
finally replied.
//Do as you wish Obi-Wan.// The older man's tone seemed
saddened, and again Obi-Wan wanted to shout out that he was
'sorry', but again something held him back.
Almost at once he felt Qui-Gon withdraw from his mind;
stricken, Obi-Wan sank down into the wet sand. Burying his face
in his hands he wept; his tears stinging his seared skin.
Obi-Wan welcomed the pain, embracing it as a suitable penance
for 'wounding' his Bond mate.
Chapter XIV -Obi-Wan
Obi-Wan had no idea how long he sat there, pouring out his
grief to the indifferent landscape. When he finally calmed
himself, he felt even worse than before. The sharp pain in his
side had returned as a dull ache, his head throbbed, while his
eyes felt sore and scratchy. The cold, wet sand had soaked his
robe; but though chilled and achy, he was too drained to stand.
Hugging his knees he stared out across the bleak gray tephra,
trying to will away the pain. Without the Force he couldn't
tell what was causing the ache in his side - and fear festered
in his mind.
"Obi-Wan."
It was a moment before he realised the gentle words were not
inside his head; he looked over his shoulder to find Qui-Gon
stood watching him. The older man's face was coolly composed,
but Obi-Wan could see the sorrow and anxiety in his Bond mate's
dark blue eyes.
"Obi-Wan, I need your assistance with the shelter. If your
hands are-"
"They're fine." Obi-Wan lied, quickly scrambling to his feet.
Qui-Gon gave him a searching look, but simply nodded, before
turning back toward the ship; silently Obi-Wan followed.
He was a little bewildered as to why Qui-Gon had sought his
help. The shelter was purpose built, and easy to assemble
alone. Still he didn't question the older man's request,
grateful to finally have something useful to do, and relieved
Qui-Gon seemed willing to overlook his earlier outburst
Working in a slightly awkward silence they set up the shelter;
close enough to the ship to benefit from its cover, but not so
close as to be crushed by it should it move. When they
finished, Obi-Wan sank down onto the canvas floor, stifling a
pain-filled moan. He lay back wearily, drawing his arm up over
his eyes. "I need to bring out the rest of the supplies....."
Qui-Gon's voice tailed off, and Obi-Wan moved his arm. As he
looked up, Qui-Gon added softly, ". If you wish, you may stay
here ?" Still feeling ashamed, Obi-Wan nodded, offering a
tremulous smile.
"Thank you."
Qui-Gon returned the smile with a faint one of his own. No
sooner had the Jedi Master left, then Obi-Wan released the moan
he had been struggling to contain. Rolling over onto his side
he pulled his knees up to his chest. The nagging ache in his
side was spreading, encompassing his whole torso, and it was
growing in intensity - heightened to a hot tortuous pain,
tendrils twisting outwards, driving into bone, flesh, and
muscle.
Just as suddenly the pain left him. Shivering, Obi-Wan lay -
confused and weak. His damp robe felt icy cold against his
body; shrugging out of it he curled himself up into an even
tighter ball. His eyelids began to drift shut. Obi-Wan fought
against his weariness, before finally...reluctantly,
surrendering to it. Closing his eyes he offered a silent prayer
to whatever gods might be listening, please don't let me
dream.....don't let me dream.
Chapter XV
Qui-Gon assembled their supplies mechanically, his mind only
partly focused upon his task. The rest of his thoughts, both
conscious and otherwise, were tied up with Obi-Wan. He had felt
his Padawan's pain the instant it had struck - just before
Obi-Wan had raised his shields against him. However they were
hopelessly inadequate, and he had slipped through them easily -
his concern overriding all other considerations.
Touching his Bond mate's mind he had found it clouded with
fear and pain. Duly alarmed, discovering his Padawan was on his
feet and moving around had been enough to tip him toward panic.
He knew his anxiety had perhaps made his words harsh, but still
he was stunned by Obi-Wan's sudden burst of anger. Surprised,
hurt and a little at a loss, he had floundered for a moment.
Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan wasn't seriously hurt, he had used the
Force to check them both for any internal breaks or bleeding.
Concluding that Obi-Wan was simply, typically pushing
himself too hard, too soon, Qui-Gon had reluctantly withdrawn;
leaving the young man to his own devices. However his concern
for Obi-Wan had been impossible to ignore, and he had left the
ship almost immediately.
He had found his Padawan sitting, huddled on a sand bank. The
need to reach out and touch his young love had been
overwhelming; however it was the sight of Obi-Wan's tear
stained face that had almost been his undoing. Only a sense of
Obi-Wan's discomfort had held him back.
Mastering control of his own distress he had resisted the urge
to drag Obi-Wan into his arms, and had instead managed, quite
calmly, to ask for assistance assembling the shelter. His
reward had been Obi-Wan's look of grateful relief.
Qui-Gon made one last visit to their sleeping quarters -
gathering up their few remaining personal belongings, the
blankets, and Obi-Wan's lightsaber - which he found behind the
overturned mattress. Prepared for an indefinite stay on Altair
they had some supplies, including a water purification unit,
for which he was unspeakably grateful. However Altair was a
lush, tropical planet - so they had no food, other than the
ships emergency rations, and no warm clothing. Jedi had a high
tolerance for extremes of heat and cold, and could survive on
minimal food and water - but he and Obi-Wan were still only
human. Without adequate food and water, they would not last
long on this desolate world.
Having secured what he'd salvaged from the ship under a
protective canvas, Qui-Gon trudged wearily back to their
shelter. The sky had darkened to a threatening charcoal gray,
and a cold wind whipped around him. He found Obi-Wan asleep,
clad only in his tunic. Frowning he lifted up the young man's
robe - it was icy cold, and soaking wet. With a muttered curse
he tossed it into a corner. Gathering up the blankets he lay
them across the sleeping youth. Then, exiting the shelter, he
crossed the sands to retrieve his own robe. Laid upon the bare
rock it was cold, and a little damp, but no worse than that.
Putting it on, he hurried back. The wind was growing stronger,
throwing the coarse grains of sand up into his face. He
shielded his eyes as best he could; spitting out the sour grit
as it clung to his lips and crept into his mouth.
Back inside he removed his robe and slipped under the
blankets,
"Wha...what ?"
"Sssh, it's alright Obi-Wan, go to sleep."
Obi-Wan turned over to curl up against him. "Hmm, you're
cold."
Qui-Gon attempted to pull away a little, but Obi-Wan hooked a
leg over him. "No, don't move...I'll warm you...." Smiling into
his Padawan's soft hair, Qui-Gon tightened his hold on the
younger man.
"Thank you, my love."
Already asleep again Obi-Wan didn't answer.
Chapter XVI
Qui-Gon awoke, to discover Obi-Wan had all but climbed on top
of him. His Padawan lay across his chest, legs tangled with his
own, face tucked into the crook of Qui-Gon's arm. Loathe to
disturb the sleeping youth, but increasingly aware of the hard
ground pressing into his back, Qui-Gon swept his fingers softly
across his Padawan's brow.
"Obi-Wan ?" The forehead crinkled slightly. "Obi-Wan ?"
//Hmm.....?//
//Obi-Wan, I need to get up.//
//What...?// A sleepy head rose slightly. "Oh-" Obi-Wan's
cheeks flushed pink, as mumbling an apology, he tried to
withdraw.
However before the young man could slip off him, Qui-Gon
lifted his hands to cup his lover's face - pulling Obi-Wan to
him for a very thorough kiss. He felt surprise, then
pleasure emanate along their link, as Obi-Wan's lips opened
beneath his. By mutual need the kiss deepened, Obi-Wan moving
rhythmically against him. He felt the young man's burgeoning
hardness, and as his own body began to respond, he broke the
kiss. Reluctantly recognizing there were more pressing matters
at hand. Obi-Wan apparently realised the same, for he
relinquished his hold on Qui-Gon with a gentle sigh, but no
real protest.
The first thing Qui-Gon realised as he left the collected
warmth of Obi-Wan and the blankets, was that the temperature
had dropped considerably. Since his robe was still a little
damp he wrapped one of the blankets around his shoulders before
stepping outside - Obi-Wan following his example.
Outside things looked little different, the wind had dropped,
and the sky had resumed its previous watery gray tones- but it
was definitely colder. He turned to glance at Obi-Wan, who
shivered and clutched his blanket a little tighter. Qui-Gon
threw an arm around his Padawan's trembling shoulders, "Come on
Obi-Wan, get back inside. I'll see what I can find us for
breakfast." He didn't know whether to be relieved or worried
when Obi-Wan capitulated without a word; slinking silently back
into the shelter. Trying, unsuccessfully, to push aside his
concerns, Qui-Gon wandered over to their supplies.
They had several canisters of water, but he wanted to use it
sparingly until he was sure the purifier could extract
something drinkable from the murky pool; since it seemed to be
their only other source. As yet, despite the dampness of the
ground, there was no way of knowing when or even if it
would rain. So he took only one water canister, and a couple of
protein bars. Looking at the latter he sighed - Obi- Wan
detested emergency rations. After a moments hesitation, he
pulled out some candied fruits he had snuck in for the trip,
knowing they were the young man's favourites. There weren't
many, but hopefully they would help to make the protein bars
more palatable.
Obi-Wan's nose wrinkled as Qui-Gon handed over a protein bar.
"Thank you." Qui-Gon almost smiled at the distinct 'lack' of
appreciation in his Padawan's voice.
"Hold out your hand."
Obviously puzzled, the young man nonetheless held his hand out
obediently. Qui-Gon dropped the candied fruits into it.
Obi-Wan's face broke into a wide smile - the first for some
time, Qui-Gon realised. A moment later he was grabbed in an
almost choking hold.
"Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you !...."
Laughing Qui-Gon disengaged himself gently from his Padawan's
somewhat enthusiastic embrace, "Alright, alright Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan drew back a little, still grinning he stared at the
sweets in his hand, "You got monda berries !" The young man
looked back up, "How did you know I like those ?"
Qui-Gon smiled, raising a hand to lightly caress Obi-Wan's
cheek, "It's my duty to know my Padawan's needs," He leaned
forward and kissed Obi-Wan's lips softly, "And it's my pleasure
to learn my Bond mate's." He was surprised, and a little
pleased, when Obi-Wan blushed; murmuring another soft 'thank
you' The young man looked at the candies thoughtfully a moment,
before holding them out to Qui- Gon; who raised an eyebrow
inquiringly.
Obi-Wan shrugged, "You choose first."
Qui-Gon was about to refuse, when he caught the look in his
Padawan's eyes. "Thank you, Obi-Wan."
"You can have the monda berry ones if you like-" The young man
added quickly, flushing deeply when Qui-Gon's smile turned even
warmer.
"Thank you Obi-Wan, but I think I should prefer the peechae
fruit." He was about to take it when he paused, "If that is
alright with you ?" Qui-Gon smiled at his Padawan's barely
concealed relief, and as the young man nodded, he took the
peechae candy.
They enjoyed a brief respite as they consumed their somewhat
meagre breakfast; taking only a few, careful sips of water.
Afterwards they discussed the order of the day. Since the
terrain was so flat it would be relatively easy to walk a
considerable distance and still keep the ship in view. Qui-Gon
planned to map out the widest possible circumference around
their ship. Hopefully he could discover something
edible, or at the very least another water source. Obi- Wan's
face reflected bitter disappointment when Qui-Gon instructed
the young man to remain at camp.
"Someone needs to act as an anchor point, Obi-Wan. Besides I
need you to see if you can get anything drinkable out of that
pool."
Obi-Wan agreed, with some reluctance; then added hopefully, "I
could take a look at the ship's communications array. Perhaps I
could rig something up ?"
Qui-Gon frowned, "Maybe later. I don't want you going back
into the ship while I'm not here."
"But-"
"That is an order Padawan."
"Yes Master."
Chapter XVI - Obi-Wan
Muttering to himself, Obi-Wan crouched down by the waterside,
his eyes fixed on the monitor in front of him. Qui-Gon had left
straight after breakfast, and Obi-Wan had immediately turned
his attention to setting up the water purification unit. He was
still upset at being grounded at camp, and irritated that he
had been forbidden to re-enter the ship.
Last night he had been too exhausted to dream....but tonight ?
He had to find that remaining vial. A thorough search
while he had been waiting for the first water readings to come
through, had turned up nothing; so it had to be inside
the ship. Obi-Wan was torn between his obedience to Qui-Gon,
and his desperate need to locate the last of the sleeping
draft.
He turned his full attention back to the monitor as the next
set of readings appeared. After checking them through twice, he
allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction - they had water.
Done, he made to stand, only to freeze as a sharp spasm of pain
jabbed at him. Panting he clutched his side, as the pain
flickered on a knife edge, a breath away from retreating to its
usual dull, gnawing ache. Trying to ignore it, he stood up
slowly; as he did so it suddenly flared outwards, sending
shards of white hot agony shooting through his body.
Clenching his teeth against a scream, Obi-Wan sank to his
knees, doubling over as another spasm struck. He tried to suck
in a breath, but his chest felt as though it were being crushed
by an invisible force. He couldn't breathe....he couldn't
breathe.....spots danced before his eyes; he fought against
panic as it rose up, threatening to overwhelm him.
Suddenly strong arms encircled him, and gratefully he leaned
into their support. Someone was talking to him in low, urgent
tones, but he was unable to reply. Another wave of pain hit,
and desperate to stop the agony, he struggled to speak; gasping
as the pain wrenched the words from him, "Make...make
it....stop....Please....make it sto...stop-"
It hurt so much. Why hadn't he passed out ? Why did it
hurt so much ? He wouldn't scream...he wouldn't.....
Chapter XVII
Qui-Gon had been walking for some time, and had still found
only shrivelled grass, and dry tumble-weed. His pace was slow,
and cautious; the uneven ground held deep fissures - waiting to
snag a misplaced foot. The air was cold, and each drawn breath
made his chest ache. He pulled his robe tighter; it was still a
little damp - the planet's pale sun gave no warmth to dry it.
He had stopped to get his bearings when he felt 'it' - a sharp
stab of distress. //Obi-Wan ? !// Pain....pain and fear
- Qui-Gon didn't hesitate, turning back toward the ship he
raced across the tephra. Guided by a Jedi's instincts he
crossed the scarred landscape with unconscious ease. His gaze
fixed ahead, Qui-Gon's mouth tightened as he caught sight of
the crumpled figure beside the water's edge.
It seemed an agonizing length of time before he finally
reached Obi- Wan. Sinking into the sand beside the youth, he
wrapped his arms around his Padawan, "Obi-Wan ! Obi-Wan, What
is it ? !"
He turned the young man's face gently toward him, and stared -
shocked by his Padawan's startling pallor; lips drawn back in
an expression of almost animalistic suffering.
Obi-Wan's eyes pleaded with him wordlessly. Distraught he
stroked the young man's face. "Obi-Wan...." He reached out with
the Force, letting it sweep through his young love's mind and
body, soothing...searching.....seeking......
Qui-Gon started a little, How ?....How could that be
possible ? He stretched his senses out a little further,
then took hold of Obi-Wan's face and stared intently into his
Padawan's pain-filled eyes.
"Obi-Wan ! Obi-Wan, listen to me !" Gray-green eyes
focused on him slowly. "You have been poisoned. Listen to
me Obi-Wan !" The young man's awareness was drifting -
desperately Qui-Gon tightened his grip, pressing his fingers
almost painfully into his Padawan's white face. "Obi-Wan I
need to know what you have taken ? !"
"Make...make it....stop....Please....make it st...stop-" The
words, rasped out between sobbed breaths, tore through Qui-Gon
like a saber thrust.
//Oh my love, I will...I will.// He pressed his lips briefly
to his Padawan's forehead, the young man's skin was icy cold.
He drew back and again looked into Obi-Wan's eyes, willing the
youth to focus on him. Obi-Wan did, but it was obvious the
young man was rapidly losing consciousness.
His voice hoarse with fear, Qui-Gon pleaded for his Padawan to
answer, "Obi-Wan, please What did you take ?" He glanced
around him wildly, struggling to think, his gaze fell on the
purification unit. "The water ? Obi-Wan did you drink the water
?" There was no reply as Obi-Wan' eyes began to roll back. "No
! Obi-Wan !" Qui-Gon slapped the young man's cheek - once,
gently...then again, a little harder. Obi-Wan moaned softly,
gray-green eyes slowly focusing upon Qui-Gon's tortured face.
"W..water."
"Yes ! The water. Did you drink any ?"
"N..no."
"Alright, good Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon stroked a pale, cold cheek
gently. "Good, you didn't drink the wa-" He broke off as
Obi-Wan suddenly arched up, writhing in renewed agony.
Helplessly Qui-Gon held his Padawan until the painful spasm
passed.
Obi-Wan looked at him piteously, "H..hurts...."
Fighting back anguished tears Qui-Gon nodded, "I know. I know
my love" He was trying to use the Force to block as much of the
young man's pain as he could - but it didn't seem to be having
any effect. "You must try to think Obi-Wan. There must
be*something...Perhaps before ?"
He felt Obi-Wan stiffen slightly, but knew this time it was
with realization, not pain.
With renewed urgency Qui-Gon pressed the youth,"When ? When
did you take it Obi-Wan ? !"
"Nei..der...."
Confused, Qui-Gon pushed aside all his other questions,
concentrating on the important ones. He knew the sleeping draft
couldn't have come from the Temple, Master Segella would never
have given it to Obi- Wan without informing him. Which could
only mean Obi-Wan had purchased it secretly. Why ? His
heart cried out for answers, but he forced his mind to ask the
more urgent ones.
"Obi-Wan, do you know what was in it ? The ingredients
Obi-Wan. What were they?" Obi-Wan's eyelids fluttered, then
closed. "No ! Obi- Wan ! Padawan answer me !"
Obi-Wan obeyed the order instinctively, eyes opening slowly,
"M..master ?" Obi-Wan seemed dazed.
Relieved Qui-Gon nodded, "Yes my love. Now think, Obi-Wan -
The sleeping draft, what was in it ?"
Obi-Wan's forehead crinkled in thought; but after only a
moment the youth hook his head despairingly,
"I can't..Master..I-" Obi-Wan' voice broke on a sob.
"Sssh, yes. Yes you can my love." Qui-Gon stroked his Bond
mate's face soothingly, willing his own strength into the
trembling body. Obi- Wan closed his eyes again, this time in
concentration.
"Mindus ?" Qui-Gon cut in quickly, fear edged his words. "Was
it Mindus ?"
Obi-Wan opened his eyes, after a brief hesitation the youth
nodded, "Yes..Yes..I think so...."
Qui-Gon released a shuddering breath. Obi-Wan stared,
confusion etched into his pale, drawn features. Struggling to
keep the despair from his voice, Qui-Gon answered his Padawan's
unspoken question, "Mindus is deadly to those gifted with the
Force. It is a poison to us, Obi-Wan."
Gray-green eyes widened, and Qui-Gon saw the fear in them.
Moving swiftly he lifted Obi-Wan into his arms. Obi-Wan
responded by circling an arm loosely around his neck. Using the
Force to augment his hold, Qui-Gon carried his Bond mate back
into the shelter. Laying Obi-Wan down upon a blanket, he drew
the others over the young man's shivering body.
He paused when Obi-Wan reached up and caught his hand weakly.
"What...what will happen ?"
When Qui-Gon didn't answer, the young man tightened his grip;
green-gray eyes flaring with sudden determination. "Tell me !"
Qui-Gon met his Padawan's gaze calmly, but was unable to
completely keep the tremor from his voice,"I...There is nothing
I can give you Obi-Wan. Your body must fight off the
poison...." Qui-Gon's throat tightened, choking off his words -
leaving unspoken what would happen if Obi-Wan failed. It didn't
need to be said; Qui-Gon saw understanding in his Padawan's
eyes...understanding...and acceptance.
It was more than he could stand. Pulling his hand away, he
shifted back. "I'm going to see if there is anything of use in
the medi-kit." Obi-Wan nodded listlessly, eyes fixed on the
canvas above. Tears clouding his vision Qui-Gon ducked out of
the shelter. Once outside, he walked only a few paces before
sinking to his knees; silently spilling his despair into the
cold, black sand.
Chapter XVIII - Obi-Wan
Obi-Wan stared upwards, his eyes fixed on nothingness. The
pain had receded to a dull, bruising ache; leaving him oddly
numb and hollow. Poisoned ?...He was poisoned....It
didn't seem real....but he knew it was. Even without the Force,
he could already feel the Mindus burning through his blood,
tainting his flesh. He lay, in silent wonder, at the bitter
irony of it all.
All his life, he had only ever wanted to be a Jedi....a
Knight - and it was almost within his grasp. As a child
he had been outgoing and gregarious, and yet he had always felt
isolated; even amongst his peers. Until he had encountered
Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan had felt the connection instantly; though
as a 'boy' he had been unable to understand it. Years had added
wisdom and experience to youthful instinct - he understood now
part of what had drawn him to Qui-Gon. It was the recognition
that the revered Jedi Master had also been alone.
Now it seemed everything was going to be snatched away from
him....
Obi-Wan wasn't sure when his feelings for his Master had
changed. He wasn't even sure they had changed. It seemed
to have been a natural, steady progression - from awe and
respect, to affection....to love. He did love Qui-Gon,
with a fierceness he still found frightening - especially
since....Naboo. Even now, as he remembered what had happened, a
bitter coldness crawled over him.
His Master had always seemed an unstoppable force. Qui-Gon had
been injured on occasion, but only rarely, and never badly.
Never....until.........
(((Obi-Wan had felt his Master's weariness, as the Sith Lord
had rained blow upon blow against the exhausted Knight. Trapped
and helpless, he had stood by, as his unbeatable Master was
driven back. Standing so close to the laser wall it had
scorched his hair and tunic, he had willed his Master to
succeed. As though by strength of purpose alone, they could
defeat this darkness.
Unconsciously Obi-Wan had reached out to his Master - and had
felt fear ?....He reeled as he realised the fear was for
him ! Qui-Gon was fighting to prevent the Sith from
reaching him ! Stunned by the realisation Obi-Wan had
pulled back - too late; Qui-Gon had sensed him, and felt his
shock.
The Sith had increased its attack, and his Master had again
been on the defensive.
Parry....strike.....thrust...parry....stumble.......thrust*-.
/Master ?// An eerie, still silence....then Qui-Gon had looked
at him; and Obi-Wan had watched as the life faded from his
Master's eyes.........Nooooooo !.)))
Tears pricked his eyes - spiky heat and the sting of salt. He
brushed them away angrily. He had hidden his grief for this
long, he would not burden his Master with it now. Obi-Wan could
not let Qui-Gon know that fear - 'Fear that his Master...his
Bond mate...might die' - Had led to him taking
the sleeping draft.....A desperate act which may now have
condemned him to death.
Chapter XIX
His face taut with grief Qui-Gon struggled to his feet. Wiping
savagely at the tears which seared his eyes he stumbled forward
to their supplies. Dragging back the canvas covering he quickly
rooted out the medi-kit. He opened it with trembling fingers -
rifling frantically through the contents. But his search only
confirmed what he already knew - it held nothing that could be
of any use to Obi-Wan.
In silent despair he sank back down to the ground, his legs
suddenly too shaky to support his weight. Why ?...Why would
Obi-Wan even take a sleeping draft ?...What had led his
Padawan to such madness ? Qui-Gon felt utterly
lost....Poisoned.....his Obi-Wan was...poisoned Drawing up his
knees, he buried his face in his hands; struggling to find the
same calm strength his Padawan had shown.
However his emotions churned within him, worrying ceaselessly
at the last remnants of his tattered self-control. He knew what
was to come.
Mindus had long since been discarded by reputable apothecaries
and healers. Once used in medicines intended to induce a
general feeling of 'well-being', it was discovered that in many
cases it was generating unpleasant side-effects - such as
hallucinations and memory loss. However to those gifted with
the Force, its effects were far more insidious....and deadly.
To them Mindus was dangerously addictive even in small
amounts. The drug would take hold quickly - demanding higher
and higher doses. However, since Mindus clouded the mind they
would remain ignorant of their craving....and would blindly
feed their growing need. Eventually the user would be locked in
an endless nightmare - unable to distinguish reality from
drug-induced hallucinations. Coma and then death usually
followed. A less fortunate individual might be spared such a
release and remain trapped for all eternity in a hell of their
own creation.
The scarce few who had their addiction discovered before they
reached the 'final stages' faced a terrible ordeal. There was
no easy path back from Mindus-addiction, a user would have to
stop consuming the drug immediately, and then battle their way
through withdrawal - 'symptoms' which included agonizing muscle
spasms, chills, fever, fits, delirium. Many went mad enduring
it.....some died.
Qui-Gon raised his head from his hands, the bleak despair in
his eyes replaced by a sudden fierce determination No !...He
would not allow that to happen !.....Not to Obi-Wan.....
Before Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon had lived in a kind of self-imposed
isolation. He had not been a recluse, he enjoyed company, he
had friends....lovers; but he had maintained his distance. His
isolation wasn't wholly intentional, he was simply
self-contained by nature. Empathic to the needs of others, he
gave little thought or concern for his own.
He had been entirely content....until Xanatos. The loss of his
Padawan had left a gaping hole in his soul; his stunned sense
of failure only a distant ache compared to the raw pain of his
broken Master - Padawan Bond. He had vowed never to undertake
the training of another student.....but he had not counted upon
meeting Obi-Wan Kenobi.
No matter how distant, how detached, how coolly he behaved
toward the boy, Obi-Wan seemed undeterred. Stubborn, persistent
and recklessly brave, Obi-Wan Kenobi was an immovable,
unstoppable force. Qui-Gon smiled faintly, in recollection of
that determined boy. Often surprising, always challenging, life
with Obi-Wan was rarely dull. His smiled faded as he remembered
how close he had come to crushing Obi-Wan's youthful hopes.
His stubborn refusal to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan had
eventually overcome the boy's dogged determination. Though
relieved that the boy had broken off his 'pursuit', Qui-Gon had
also felt a disquieting sense of 'loss.' He had ignored
it....Until the moment came when he was faced with the
possibility of losing Obi-Wan forever. It was only when Obi-Wan
had declared his intention to sacrifice himself for Qui- Gon's
sake, that Qui-Gon had realised that the boy's life was already
irreversibly intertwined with his own.
He had accepted the boy unwillingly, but Obi-Wan Kenobi had
filled an emptiness in his life, and now the thought of
returning to that old hollow existence was unbearable. He
needed Obi-Wan, and, without any trace of arrogance or
conceit, he knew that Obi-Wan needed him in equal measure. He
could not accept that they had been brought together, seemingly
by the will of the Force, only to be so brutally wrenched
apart.
Pushing aside his weariness, Qui-Gon stood, a little shakily,
and walked to the water's edge. Kneeling down beside the
purification unit, he ascertained that it was working before
going back to the supplies. Taking three of the water
canisters, and a handful of the protein bars, he hauled the
canvas back over the rest of their provisions.
Turning, Qui-Gon paused briefly to compose himself, taking
deep, steadying breaths. He was unable to completely bury his
fears, they remained like knives embedded in his heart; however
he was determined Obi-Wan would never know of them. The young
man would need strength and courage to face the ordeal ahead.
Qui-Gon chided himself bitterly, he could not afford to indulge
in hysterics, tears would not help Obi-Wan; his Bond mate would
need his support, his strength. There would be time later to
tend to his own needs, for now Obi-Wan was all that mattered.
Obi-Wan was asleep when he re-entered the shelter. Placing the
water canisters in the corner, Qui-Gon lay down carefully
beside his lover. Even in sleep the young man's face was lined
with pain - pale thin cheeks streaked with dried tears. Qui-Gon
reached out with the Force, gently letting it flow into
Obi-Wan, offering what little comfort and relief he could. He
grimaced as he encountered the Mindus, its cold, poisonous
tendrils curling through his Padawan's body; spreading their
infection. Gently he touched the young man's mind through their
Bond link, relaxing a little when he felt Obi-Wan's unconscious
response.
The light outside was failing as the short day came to a
close, and another long, cold night drew in. Qui-Gon made no
attempt to wrest any of the blankets from Obi-Wan's white
knuckled grip, instead he made do with his robe, folding it
around himself as best he could. He did not expect to sleep,
not with his mind torturing him with visions of the agonies to
come. However eventually his weariness overcame him, and he
fell into an uneasy, troubled sleep.
Chapter XX
A soft sound of distress cut through Qui-Gon's dreams.
Immediately alert, he pushed himself up onto his elbow and
looked over at Obi- Wan; but it was too dark to make out more
than a shape, huddled beneath the blankets. //Obi-Wan ?// He
reached for his young love through their link, only to be
rebuffed. Alarmed he tried again, and this time, as he gently
pushed against his Padawan's shields, they gave way - Pain
!....So much pain !....
Overwhelmed by the sudden outpouring of agony from his
Padawan's mind, Qui-Gon drew back; shielding himself
instinctively. However he was already sitting up, reaching for
the lamp suspended from the canvas roof. He lit it quickly and
turned back to Obi-Wan.
The young man was lying upon his side, legs drawn up, a corner
of blanket stuffed into his mouth to muffle his screams.
However the harsh lamp light betrayed the young man's agony -
sallow skin stretched tightly over sharp cheekbones, eyes
sunken into deep bruised shadows, wide with pain and fear.
"Obi-Wan !" Qui-Gon gently drew the blanket away, Obi-Wan
whimpered softly; teeth clenched to hold back his cries. The
young man's skin was icy cold. Keeping the blankets firmly
wrapped around the youth, Qui-Gon carefully drew his Padawan
into his arms. Obi- Wan resisted briefly, then clung to him
with frightening desperation; bandaged fingers reaching out to
grasp his own.
Cradling his Bond mate in his arms, Qui-Gon felt each
pain-racked tremor as it coursed through Obi-Wan's body. At
first the young man contained his cries, but as the pain bit
deeper, Obi-Wan cried out in agony - tears flowing down his
face. Through his own tears Qui-Gon whispered words of love and
encouragement; urging his Bond mate to be strong, that the pain
would pass. Eventually it did; leaving Obi- Wan exhausted and
trembling. Qui-Gon made to lay Obi-Wan back down, but the young
man protested wordlessly.
"Ssh. It's alright Obi-Wan, my love. I just need to fetch the
water. "
Carefully - as though the youth were spun from glass not flesh
and bone - Qui-Gon laid Obi-Wan back onto the bedding.
Retrieving the water he raised the youth up a little to let him
drink. Obi-Wan managed a few, tiny sips before he sank back,
closing his eyes, "I....I don't think I can do this...."
At these words, Qui-Gon felt a coldness grip him. Wetting his
fingers with a little of the water, he gently wiped away the
traces of tears and sweat from Obi-Wan's face and neck. The
youth opened his eyes and looked up at Qui-Gon, "I..I'm
sorry....."
Qui-Gon damped down a sudden inexplicable rush of anger. His
hand caught the young man's jaw, as he lowered his face close
to his lover's. "You can do this Obi-Wan," his voice
came out as a broken whisper, "You can...and you
will*" He closed his eyes and leaned forward, until his
forehead touched his Padawan's. "*Please....Obi- Wan....
You must try......"
A small choked sob, and Obi-Wan's hand came up to touch his
face gently; the prickly brush of bandages rough against his
skin. "Don't....please...Qui-Gon-" the young man's voice broke
a little on another harsh sob. Qui-Gon felt fresh tears, wet
against his face, and didn't know if they were his or
Obi-Wan's. He opened his eyes and met Obi-Wan's frantic gaze.
The young man shook his head. "I won't give up. I
promise...Qui-Gon please, don't...don't..." It took a moment
for Qui-Gon to realise that he was weeping, and it was
his tears which were causing his Padawan so much
distress.
Stricken, Qui-Gon fought to contain his despair. Choking back
his tears he gently touched his lips to Obi-Wan's; silencing
the youth with a chaste kiss. Obi-Wan reached for him blindly -
arms encircling his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. Qui-Gon
scattered soft kisses across his Padawan's tear stained face;
tasting the bitter sharp sting of fresh tears. //I'm sorry
Obi-Wan...Ssh. I'm sorry my love....//. Eventually he felt
Obi-Wan's distress fade a little, and he drew back; meeting
Obi- Wan's concerned gaze with some semblance of calm - despite
his seething emotions.
Obi-Wan's fingers were still entangled in his hair;
unconsciously toying with the loose strands. Qui-Gon held his
Padawan's gaze steadily, his voice was husky with unshed tears.
"I will hold you to your promise, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan stared up at him, gray-green eyes suddenly wary.
Qui-Gon sensed the young man's confusion through their link.
"You gave me your word. You will fight this."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened in sudden comprehension - he withdrew
his hands from Qui-Gon's hair and tried to look away. Qui-Gon
was quicker, catching his Padawan's chin he gently drew the
youth back to face him. //Obi-Wan ?// Qui-Gon knew he was being
unfair, holding Obi-Wan to an oath expressed in anguish, but he
forced himself not to falter beneath his Padawan's bleak gaze.
The young man drew in a short, sharp breath. A moment's
agonized hesitation, then a terse nod.
"Yes." Obi-Wan sounded unbearably weary. Qui-Gon released his
hold, but this time Obi-Wan didn't try to turn away. The young
man's expression was bitterly resigned. "Yes, you...you have my
word."
Qui-Gon simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak; he was
struggling hard to remain calm. Obi-Wan's apparent willingness
to concede defeat so soon had shaken him badly. However now, as
his alarm receded slightly, he recalled that depression was one
of the side- effects of Mindus. The drug was crushing his
Padawan's spirit. He berated himself bitterly for his
'weakness' in breaking down in front of Obi-Wan. He had thought
he had his emotions under control....It seemed however his
grief was simply too raw, too powerful to be contained. He
should have known that his Obi-Wan would never 'give up'
so easily.
Qui-Gon drew himself up slowly, kneeling beside Obi-Wan. The
youth lay still and silent, eyes closed. Qui-Gon made to reach
out and touch his Padawan, but stayed his hand before it
reached the youth. He bit his lip, frustrated by his own sense
of inadequacy. He let his hand hover a moment longer, before
pulling it back.
"Obi-Wan ?" Gray-green eyes fluttered open and gazed up at him
dully. Qui-Gon swallowed hard. "How much did you take ?"
Obi-Wan sighed, and rubbed a hand across his face wearily,
"I...I'm not sure...." Qui-Gon felt his Padawan's distress
spiral, as the youth struggled to remember. "More than
one....Perhaps two....?" Obi- Wan shook his head, his voice
rising in panic. "I don't remember...I can't
remember....Why can't I remember ? !" Haunted eyes stared at
Qui-Gon beseechingly. "I can't...I can't...-"
"Ssh...It's alright Obi-Wan....It's alright...." This time
Qui-Gon didn't hesitate to touch his Padawan; drawing Obi-Wan
into his arms he rocked the young man gently, sending wordless
comfort through their link.
"I'm tired...I'm just so tired...." Obi-Wan's voice was a
weary, muffled whisper against his chest.
"I know, my love." he kissed the top of the young man's head
and held his Padawan tighter, "I know...."
Obi-Wan twisted in his arms, and looked up at him. "It's going
to get worse isn't it ?"
Qui-Gon found himself unable to answer.
There was no need....Obi-Wan understood his silence. The young
man lowered his head, and Qui-Gon struggled to suppress a
sudden surge of panic, but Obi-Wan must have sensed it anyway.
The young man looked back up, offering Qui-Gon a faint tired
smile - one far too 'old' for such a face. "It's
alright....I..I knew it would, " a soft sigh, then a hand
touched his cheek. "Don't worry, I won't give up." The smile
turned rueful. "I gave you my word...remember..."
Qui-Gon could no longer conceal his anguish. Instead he drew
Obi- Wan close, and buried his face against the young man's
neck. He felt Obi-Wan turn to face him, pulling an arm free to
slide up around his shoulders. Qui-Gon accepted his Padawan's
silent comfort, even as he struggled against it; angered by his
own need. Finally he drew in a sharp breath and pulled back.
Obi-Wan withdrew his arm, kneeling before Qui-Gon quietly.
"You..." Qui-Gon swallowed trying to speak past the lump in
his throat. "You need to rest Obi-Wan." The youth allowed
himself to be settled back against the blankets. Qui-Gon drew
the covers back around his Padawan; all the while Obi-Wan
watched him silently.
When he had finished the young man caught his hand and held
it. Gray-green eyes dropped to the blanket edge,"Will...Will
you...hold me ?...." A small voice, tinged with uncertainty.
Qui-Gon didn't answer. Switching off the lamp, he lay down
beside his Padawan, gently drawing the young man into his arms.
Obi-Wan stiffened, then relaxed against him."I...I love you..."
The softly whispered words sliced into him. Oh Obi-Wan. My
love... He closed his eyes, and drew in a ragged breath "I
love you too...."
Chapter XXI
Qui-Gon awoke feeling cold, and no less weary. His sleep had
been fitful - moments snatched between troubled dreams. Obi-Wan
lay tucked up against his side, one arm stretched across his
chest - bandaged fingers balled into a fist. Qui-Gon unfurled
them gently - using the Force to check their progress -
grateful that, despite the young man's weak state, the burns
and cuts had healed well. Obi-Wan murmured softly, lifting his
head a little. Qui-Gon released the hand and touched his
fingers to the youth's brow, "Ssh...Sleep Obi-Wan." At his
gentle, Force impelled suggestion, the young man made another
soft sleepy sound, before snuggling back against him.
Qui-Gon remained awake, monitoring his sleeping love for any
sign of distress. He could sense the edge of Obi-Wan's pain -
dulled now to an almost bearable ache; however exhaustion and
the Force, were all that kept it from dragging Obi-Wan back to
consciousness. Even now Qui-Gon could feel it growing, as the
Mindus fed upon his Padawan. He tried to use the Force to push
it back - though he knew his efforts were in vain....the
Mindus' malign presence could not be crushed so easily.
A small frown settled on Obi-Wan's smooth brow, and the young
man shifted uneasily. //Ssh..It's alright Obi-Wan...//. His
Padawan settled again....but only for a moment. A tiny whimper,
then Obi-Wan began to twist in his arms. Gray-green eyes shot
open - a wild stare and terrified understanding. Qui-Gon
tightened his embrace, as he felt the first painful spasm wrack
his Padawan's trembling body.
"No...please...no..."
The youth's desperate plea almost broke Qui-Gon. He fought
down his despair, determined not to surrender to its desolate
embrace. "I've got you Obi-Wan....Ssh...It's alright, I'm
here...." He kept up a litany of soothing words, holding
Obi-Wan close as the young man convulsed in his arms. All the
while he cursed his own helplessness, though he knew there was
nothing he could do to ease his Bond mate's torment.
With each painful spasm Qui-Gon held his breath, willing it to
pass quickly. Obi-Wan clawed at him frantically, bloody froth
appearing at the corners of the young man's mouth - as Obi-Wan
gnawed his lips and tongue in an effort to contain his cries.
"No...No...Obi-Wan don't...." Qui-Gon gripped his Padawan's jaw
gently, forcing himself to meet Obi-Wan's agonized gaze.
//Don't try to hold back.// The youth stared at him wildly,
then arched up as another spasm struck. //Obi-Wan !//
A choked cry....then a half stifled scream...then
another....and another...louder...and louder....
Qui-Gon sat, tears pouring down his face, as Obi-Wan screamed
in agony.
It seemed an endless stretch of time, but finally the fit
passed - the pain receding to a dull throbbing ache. Obi-Wan
lay still in Qui-Gon's arms. Qui-Gon gently lowered the youth
onto the blankets; using a little of the water to wash the
blood and tears from his Padawan's face. He was frightened by
how pale Obi-Wan looked - the young man's face was little more
than a death mask - without a trace of life or colour.
"Obi-Wan ?" The young man didn't respond. "Obi-Wan ?"
Gray-green eyes opened slowly, "Here Obi-Wan, drink a little of
this." Gently he raised Obi-Wan up a little, lifting the water
canister to the young man's lips. Obi-Wan grimaced as he
swallowed, and after only two sips, pulled away - shaking his
head.
"No...no more..."
Qui-Gon set down the canister, and then helped Obi-Wan lie
back down. The youth felt brittle, his movements stiff and
slow; each shallow breath brought forth a wince, as though even
this simple act caused great pain. "How..how much...-" Obi-Wan
broke off - wheezing for breath; waving aside the offer of more
water. After a moment or two, the young man was able to
continue. "How much...longer will....this last ?-"
Qui-Gon steeled himself to provide an answer. Lifting the
young man's hand onto his lap, he clasped it gently within his
own. "Two...Maybe three days." He felt Obi-Wan's fingers twitch
in response to his words. "It may be less Obi-Wan," he tried to
keep the desperation from his voice. "It depends on how much
Mindus was in the compound...."
Qui-Gon's voice trailed off, and for a long moment neither of
them said anything. However a question burned at the back of
Qui-Gon's mind. He had fought hard against it - but it had
resisted all his attempts to push it away - "Why ?" Qui-Gon
only realised he had voiced it aloud when he felt Obi-Wan try
to pull his hand free. He looked down at his Padawan, who
refused to meet his gaze; but now that it had been said the
'question' refused to be silenced - bringing with it all the
churning emotions he had tried to bury with it. "Why Obi-Wan
?....Why would you do such a thing ?" He shook his head in
wordless disbelief, tightening his grip on the young man's
hand. "Why would you even need a sleeping draft ?"
"I...I..." Obi-Wan looked at him briefly, before dropping his
eyes to their clasped hands. "I...I'm tired..." The young man
again tried to tug his hand free. "Please..Qui-Gon..." Qui-Gon
closed his heart to the tears in the young man's voice. He
had to know this...he needed to know this...for
his sake...and for Obi-Wan's. It wasn't just the Mindus that
was poisoning Obi-Wan ; there was something 'else'....something
which had driven his Padawan to this desperate, foolish act.
"Tell me Obi-Wan !" Qui-Gon caught the young man's other hand
as it tried to twist away from him, gripping it tightly.
"I don't know !..."
"Obi-Wan !-"
"I don't..I..."
"Padawan answer me!"
"I was afraid !"
Stunned, Qui-Gon released his Padawan's hands.
The anger drained from Obi-Wan's voice as the youth added
softly, "I...I just didn't know what else to do...."
Swallowing sharply, Qui-Gon forced himself to ask, "What were
you afraid of Obi-Wan ?"
"I...I..didn't want to remember...I didn't want to hurt you !"
The young man's voice rose again in obvious anguish, as
gray-green eyes turned on him, pleading silently for him to
understand.
"Hurt me ? !" Qui-Gon was unable to hide the bewildered
confusion in his tone, "How ?"
"By making you remember !" Obi-Wan was crying in earnest now,
Qui-Gon could feel the young man's increasing distress through
their link. Part of him wanted to stop...to take his Bond mate
into his arms and give what comfort he could. He forced himself
to hold back. Qui- Gon knew that this - this was the
real reason for his Padawan's decline; this was the
poison that had to be rooted out, so that Obi- Wan could find
the strength to fight the Mindus. He needed to go on with this
- he had no choice.
"Remember what Obi-Wan ?" He reached for the young man's hands
- they were icy cold. "Remember what ?-"
"Naboo !....What...what happened...You...!-" Wild eyes stared
at him, red-rimmed and tear-filled. The young man's voice
dropped to a breathy whisper, each word forced out between
broken sobs. "You...you died...-"
"No ! Obi-Wan !" When Obi-Wan didn't respond, Qui-Gon released
his Padawan's hands and caught hold of slender shoulders,
shaking them gently. "Listen to me ! Obi-Wan !" Dull
eyes focused on him slowly. "I was wounded Obi-Wan...You
know that !"
"Yes !" His Padawan's gaze sharpened bitterly, "But...but..."
Obi-Wan paused, struggling to answer. "But..every time I see it
- you die !" The young man's voice dropped to a pain-filled
whisper. "You die..."
"Every time...?" Qui-Gon stared at his Padawan in confusion,
the hopelessness in his Padawan's gaze burning into him.
"Every time I close my eyes....Every time I try to
think...When I'm awake...When I'm asleep....I......I....." A
soft broken sob, "I saw you die ! I felt it !"
Qui-Gon felt his heart wrench at his Padawan's desperate words
but he refrained from reaching for his Bond mate, though it
tore at him to do so. He could sense that Obi-Wan wasn't
telling him everything.
"What else Obi-Wan ?" He was surprised at how calm his voice
sounded to his own ears.
Obi-Wan seemed startled, "What....?-"
Qui-Gon kept his voice calm and soothing, "What else do you
see ? When you close your eyes ?"
He felt Obi-Wan stiffen. Sliding his hands down the young
man's arms he grasped the youth's wrists - Obi-Wan's pulse
raced beneath his fingertips. Qui-Gon stroked his thumbs over
his Padawan's cold skin offering wordless reassurance. For a
seemingly endless moment Obi- Wan didn't answer; then the
smallest of voices -
"Taogoa..." Qui-Gon felt an icy coldness claw at him. He
willed himself to remain calm, but Obi-Wan must have detected
his sudden tension, "It doesn't matter... Forget it....It..it's
nothing........"
"Obi-Wan !-"
"No !" The young man lowered his voice to a desperate whisper.
"No. It doesn't matter...It isn't important...."
"*What isn't important ?" Qui-Gon demanded, his voice rising.
When Obi-Wan just shook his head, Qui-Gon tightened his grip.
"Obi-Wan you must tell me !"
"I..I can't...!" Distraught the young man tried to twist away,
tugging uselessly - struggling to free himself. "Please,
Qui-Gon..I...I can't...."
"Obi-Wan-"
"No !" Obi-Wan looked at him beseechingly, "You don't need to
know." Obi-Wan sounded as though he were trying to convince
himself as much as Qui-Gon. "Please....."
Qui-Gon hesitated - Obi-Wan's skin had taken on a stark ashen
hue, his breathing ragged and shallow. Did he really need to
go on with this...?....Perhaps he should end it now.....?.
Tentatively he reached out through their link, touching his
mind to Obi-Wan's.
Overwrought, Obi-Wan was unwittingly projecting his emotions.
Qui-Gon gathered them to him - shame, anger, fear......concern?
Puzzled by the latter he probed a little further...and
discovered....- the concern was for him. Obi-Wan was trying to
protect him ? Qui-Gon felt a rush of confusion...and guilt -
Was he the cause of Obi-Wan's distress ?
"It's not your duty to protect me Padawan," Qui-Gon tried and
failed to keep the accusatory tone from his voice.
Obi-Wan stared at him wide-eyed, "But I'm.... I'm your Bond
mate...."
"Yes...My Bond mate......Not my 'guardian'. We
share what troubles us Obi-Wan-"
Obi-Wan responded with a harsh sound of disbelief, "You
never share your troubles with me ! You always tell me
not to worry ! Like...like I'm a child !"
"You're my Padawan !"
"I'm your Bond mate !"
They stared at each other, both breathing hard. The outburst
had suffused Obi-Wan's face with indignant colour, eyes blazing
green with frustration and anger. Qui-Gon gave a heavy sigh,
"You are right Obi-Wan...I ...I should not try to hide my
concerns from you...." Obi-Wan stared at him, obviously not
expecting his agreement. "I will try to keep you more inform-"
No. That didn't sound right He started again, all the
while aware of his Padawan's stricken expression. "I will try
to share my feelings with you ....and ...and my worries." He
met Obi-Wan's gaze squarely, "Is that what you wish ?"
"I....Yes.."
"In return, I would ask that you show me the same
consideration." He arched an eyebrow at his Padawan, "Agreed ?"
Obi-Wan had calmed a little, but at these words Qui-Gon felt
another sharp spike of distress from the younger man. "Obi-Wan
?-"
"Al..alright..."
Qui-Gon lowered his voice - to the same gentle, level tone he
had once used to discover truths from a thirteen year old
Obi-Wan. "What is it Obi-Wan ? What - about Taogoa ?"
Obi-Wan lowered his eyes, "I...I started to remember
things..."
A flicker of pain crossed Qui-Gon's face before he could
conceal it. He concentrated on his breathing...and the hands
held within his own. "What 'things' ?"
"Before...before you found me..." Obi-Wan fell silent,
seemingly struggling to go on. Qui-Gon sent a wave of love and
reassurance through their link. He felt the young man reach for
him and he entwined the comforting tendrils around his Bond
mate's mind. Obi-Wan relaxed minutely and continued, "There
were voices...more than two...I think...I don't know how
many...." The young man paused and looked up; Qui-Gon nodded
for him to continue. "They...they took off my robe...my
tunic...my boots....I tried...I tried..." The young man began
to grow increasingly upset, "I did try..I did..."
"It's alright Obi-Wan. I know you tried-"
"No !" Obi-Wan looked away. "You...you don't understand..."
Qui-Gon closed his eyes, No...Oh please no...! "What
Obi-Wan ?" He opened his eyes again, "What don't I understand
?"
"They..touched me." - small, haunted voice. "One...one of them
put...." Obi-Wan drew in a deep jagged breath, "he put...he put
his fingers inside me...." Gray-green eyes turned to Qui-Gon,
bewildered and hurt. "How....how could I let them do that to me
? !-" The young man's voice rose to an angry wail.
"No ! No Obi-Wan!-"
But with a sudden burst of strength Obi-Wan pulled his hands
free, and tried to scramble away. Qui-Gon shot forward and
grasped the squirming youth, drawing his struggling Padawan
into his arms. "Obi- Wan, you didn't let them do
anything. You were drugged !" Obi-Wan made a half hysterical
sound. "Please Obi-Wan....! -"
Obi-Wan fought him for a moment longer and then lay still.
When the young man spoke his voice was tight with distress.
"They..they said I would bring a good price..." Bitterness
crept into the young man's tone. "Because I was
unused...-"
Qui-Gon was helpless against the tide of grief and anger which
swept over him at his Padawan's words. His mind tormented him
with images - Obi-Wan, bound and drugged....Crying out for
him.....Hands sliding over his Padawan's exposed, naked
body....Touching ...Probing ... Hurting..... Tightening his
hold upon the youth, he fought back the rage which threatened
to consume him.
"Did...did they ?-" Qui-Gon's voice broke.
"No !-" Obi-Wan shivered violently. "No....They didn't do
anything else." Obi-Wan shook his head as though trying to
clear his thoughts. "One...one of them tried to..to kiss me."
Qui-Gon felt his Padawan's chest heave, as the young man sucked
in a ragged breath. "There was a man...he...he...struck them.
He said I...I wasn't to be spoiled" Obi-Wan practically
spat out the last word, then fell silent. Qui-Gon held his Bond
mate tightly, as they both struggled to regain some semblance
of control.
It was Qui-Gon who broke the silence. "You should have told
me." The quiet words held no reproof, only sorrow.
"I...I know..." Obi-Wan gave a little sigh, his voice soft and
sad. "But I...I knew you didn't want me to remember."
Didn't 'want'...? Qui-Gon felt stunned by the
admission. "What I want isn't important-"
"It is to me !" The young man's next words were muffled
against Qui- Gon's chest. "I...I know you feel responsible
for...for what happened to me." Obi-Wan lifted his head,
gray-green eyes regarding Qui-Gon steadily, through tear-spiked
lashes. "You're not, you know."
Qui-Gon sighed heavily, "Aren't I ?"
"No !" There was a fierce desperation to his Padawan's reply.
"You're my Padawan !"
"And you're my Master !....But, as you told me once, you're
also only a man...."
The young man's tearful gaze pleaded for Qui-Gon to accept the
wisdom of his own words. Qui-Gon smiled wryly, "Whether I
failed as your Master, or as a 'man' makes little difference
Obi-Wan."
Frustration poured out of the younger man."But you
didn't fail !"
It ignited Qui-Gon's own bitter self-recrimination,"You were
upset ! You needed me ! I should never have let you go off like
that !"
"And I should never have gone !" Obi-Wan paused to take
a few deep rapid breaths; evidently exhausted by his emotional
outburst. "I...I don't blame you," another harsh gasped breath,
"Why...why must you blame yourself ?"
"Because...because..." Qui-Gon found himself at a loss to
provide an answer.
Obi-Wan took advantage of his floundering. The Pawadan's voice
was small and tight,"Do you blame me too ?"
"*No !" Qui-Gon was staggered by the question; horrified that
his Padawan would even consider such a thing. "Never ! Never !"
He reached out and took Obi-Wan's face in his hands, brushing
his thumbs over cheeks wet with tears. "W h a t h a p p e n e d
t o y o u w a s n o t y o u r f a u l t !"
Obi-Wan stared at him sadly, "No...no perhaps not-"
"No ! There is no perhaps about it Obi-Wan ! You are
not to blame !"
Obi-Wan seemed to consider the validity of his words,
eventually shrugging in reluctant acquiescence. "Alright
I'm..." the youth drew in a deep breath, "I'm not to blame."
Qui-Gon nodded, relieved.
Grey-green eyes narrowed shrewdly "But then, neither are
you...."
Qui-Gon understood the point his Padawan was trying to make.
They could both go on forever blaming themselves for lack of
thought and foresight. However it was hard to let go of the
guilt, even when he knew it served no purpose.
Ever since Naboo they seemed to have been caught in a
desperate cycle; as though the Sith Lord had tainted them in
some way - marking them out for sorrow and suffering . Their
happiness was mired in pain and anguish; they had to
break loose, or they would never be free of this.....
"Alright," he spoke slowly; struggling to accept the truth of
his own words. "I...I am not to blame."
Obi-Wan regarded him suspiciously. Qui-Gon opened himself up
to his Padawan, letting the youth touch his mind - despair,
sorrow, grief....and guilt - the latter slowly fading, as
Qui-Gon forced himself to relinquish it. Obi-Wan's mind
whispered against his, a delicate soothing balm to his
suffering. He tried to return the mental embrace - and felt the
young man shy away. Qui-Gon waited, patiently, and slowly
Obi-Wan responded to his touch. Cautiously Qui-Gon reached out
into his Padawan's mind - pain, fear, anguish....guilt and
sorrow. He let the comforting tendrils of his presence brush
against his Padawan's grief - wearing away the harsh edges,
crumbling the guilt to nothingness..........
Eventually they withdrew - feeling strangely both drained and
strengthened by the experience.
Qui-Gon met his Padawan's tear-bright eyes with his own, //I
love you, Obi-Wan. Nothing ever can...or ever will,
change that. //. He repeated his promise without words -
kissing Obi-Wan with tender thoroughness. He felt Obi-Wan's
own, silent avowal through their link.
Qui-Gon broke the kiss reluctantly, gently drawing his thumb
across his Padawan's bottom lip, "Now, you must rest."
Guiding Obi-Wan back down onto the blankets, he noticed the
young man's flushed cheeks with a sharp twinge of alarm.
Quickly masking his concern, Qui-Gon let his fingers tarry
against his Padawan's skin - feeling the first stirrings of
fever. Obi-Wan looked at him quizzically and he forced out a
reassuring smile, "*Rest*" Qui-Gon moved his hand away, "I'm
going to check on the water unit." He turned to leave, then
paused, glancing back anxiously, "You'll be alright alone ?"
The look Obi-Wan gave him was part amused, part exasperated.
"I'll be fine."
Qui-Gon still hesitated - the Bond they shared protesting even
this, brief separation. He darted back and placed a quick kiss
against Obi- Wan's warm forehead. "I won't be long." Then,
before he could change his mind, he ducked out of the shelter.
Chapter XXII - Obi-Wan
Alone, Obi-Wan allowed his self-control to slip a little -
touching the panic that still lay close to the surface. The
pain was growing, he could feel it - a dull burning ache deep
in the pit of his stomach. Soon the first fiery tendrils would
blossom outwards; blazing through his body with ruthless
momentum.
In his mind he replayed the past few moments, over and over.
He couldn't quite believe that - after all he had done to
conceal the truth - he had just blurted it out. Yet he
also felt an odd kind of relief. It had felt 'wrong' to hide
his pain from Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan suppressed a bubble of hysteria
- was this why criminals sought to unburden themselves ?... Why
'sinners' sought confession....For this 'curious' sense of
release ?
Obi-Wan shifted restlessly, turning his face toward the cool
air blowing underneath the shelter's canvas door. It provided
some relief; though not enough to ease the hot prickling
sensation that crawled across his skin. He threw the blankets
aside, but felt little better. Too weak to sit up, he tugged at
his tunic, trying to draw it away from his skin......Hot...he
felt so hot....
He wished Qui-Gon would come back, but his pride warred
against calling out for his Master. A short spike of pain shot
through him - cramping his stomach, bringing with it a wave of
intense nausea. This felt...different....Did it mean he was
getting better ?...Or worse ?
Obi-Wan ran his tongue over parched lips. Even his eyes felt
dry and sore - as though his tears had robbed them of their
moisture. Hot...so hot... His gaze fell on the water
canister - propped up against the shelter's canvas wall - just
out of reach.
He tried to sit up, but sank back with a dull moan; fresh
rivulets of pain dancing down his spine. Turning onto his side,
Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Closing his
eyes he concentrated on his breathing, letting it lull him into
a trance-like calm.
Tentatively, he called out to the Force, fearful of rejection.
At first there was nothing, just a cold empty silence; he
choked back his despair and tried again......The canister
shuddered slightly.
Obi-Wan's eyes shot open - The Force !....He felt the Force
!
Almost overcome with relief, he reached out again....The
canister twitched almost imperceptibly. Stretching out his hand
- his face contorted with effort - Obi-Wan willed the
canister to him. It shook violently, toppling sideways, rolling
a little way across the ground toward him. He almost had
it. He reached out again....and gasped - as a shard of pure
white agony speared his chest. For an agonizing moment he
couldn't move...couldn't breathe. Spots danced at the edge of
his vision. Incredibly the pain intensified, crushing bands
tightening around his torso, driving the air from his lungs.
//Mas..master !//
"Ssh. I'm here Obi-Wan, I'm here."
Obi-Wan reached up blindly, and found his fingers clasped
within his Master's strong sure grip. //Breathe....can't....//
The hold on his hand tightened. //You must fight it
Obi-Wan !//
//Ca..can't...h..hurts...// He felt sick and dizzy; a cold
darkness beckoned, promising an end to the pain.
//*Breathe Padawan !//
Qui-Gon's distress wrenched Obi-Wan away from the shadows.
Battling against the shards of agony which ripped through him;
Obi- Wan sucked in a shuddering breath, Oh Gods it hurt
!....It hurt ! Obi-Wan bit down hard upon his tongue; until
the bitter, metallic tang of blood filled his mouth. He
would not cry out...He would not ! He arched up as a
violent spasm struck, burning through his body, stripping him
of his resolve; a short sharp cry escaped him. He clamped down
on the next, and only a stifled sob escaped - dragged out
between clenched teeth.
Qui-Gon's face drifted into view, hovering anxiously above his
own. The older man's features were tired and drawn. Obi-Wan
could sense the fear in his Bond mate. He choked back another
cry as a fresh burst of pain shot through his body,
"Am I dying ?" Obi-Wan was unaware he had voiced the question
aloud - until he saw Qui-Gon's eyes widen in anguish.
"No !"
Long cool fingers stroked his forehead, soothing against his
hot skin. "No my love. You're not dying."
Obi-Wan could hear the strain of grief in his Master's voice.
Looking up into dark blue eyes he saw the too familiar pain
there. Qui-Gon looked exhausted, older than his years. With a
sudden surge of insight Obi-Wan realised Qui-Gon was using
their Bond link to draw off some of his pain.
Terrified at the thought of how much worse it could be -
unsure he could bear it - Obi-Wan struggled to raise his
shields.
Qui-Gon detected his attempt at once, "No ! Obi-Wan !" Strong
hands cupped his face, forcing him to meet Qui-Gon's frantic
gaze. "No my love ! You cannot do this alone !"
Obi-Wan tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat.
//I'm hurting you !// He flinched when it came out as a
childish wail.
"Oh, my love...." Qui-Gon stroked his cheek softly, and
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, absorbing his lover's touch. // My
love.//
Obi-Wan ran his tongue over dry lips, and tasted salt - Was
he crying ? Opening his eyes slowly, Obi-Wan looked up into
his Master's face....and realised that the tears were not his
own.
Weakly, Obi-Wan raised his hand. Touching his fingertips to
Qui- Gon's damp cheek, Obi-Wan drew the moisture to his own
sore, cracked lips - tasting stinging salt and a lover's bitter
grief. Qui-Gon's long fingers encircled his own, pulling his
hand gently away. When it was released, panic flared,
//Don't leave me !// Obi-Wan no longer cared how needy he
sounded
"Ssh...ssh..." The hand came back, this time stroking over his
feverish skin. Obi-Wan whimpered softly, leaning into the light
touch. He felt Qui-Gon shift to settle down beside him;
carefully drawing his hot tortured flesh into a loose,
comforting embrace. //I'm here Obi-Wan. I won't leave you. I'm
here.//
The shadows were calling him again. Obi-Wan struggled briefly,
afraid to sink into nothingness; but weak and drained he
finally surrendered. The comforting tendrils of the Force rose
up to catch him as he fell; cocooning around him as he escaped
into oblivion.
Chapter XXIII
Qui-Gon felt the tension leave his Padawan's body as
unconsciousness lay claim to the youth. This time he made no
attempt to draw Obi- Wan back from its summons - welcoming the
relief it brought his Bond mate. The Mindus' hold over Obi-Wan
was fading, enabling Qui-Gon to extend a field of Force energy
around his young love - ensuring Obi-Wan didn't slip too far
back into the shadows.
Though drained from his efforts to block Obi-Wan's pain,
Qui-Gon pushed past his weariness to begin healing some of the
damage caused by the Mindus. He was concerned by the heat he
could feel pouring off Obi-Wan - as his Padawan's body purged
itself of the last, lingering traces of the poison.
Carefully, Qui-Gon disentangled himself from Obi-Wan's
motionless form. Gathering up one of the water canisters -
dropped in his haste to reach his Bond mate - Qui-Gon tore a
strip off one of the discarded blankets, and poured the water
over it. Tenderly he used the soaked rag to sponge his
Padawan's flushed face. Drawing it across the young man's
throat, Qui-Gon squeezed the cloth a little - inviting rivulets
of cool water to trickle down Obi-Wan's torso. The young man
gave no indication that he was aware of Qui-Gon
administrations.
Touching his fingertips to Obi-Wan's fevered flesh, Qui-Gon
unwillingly dredged up a memory from Taogoa - the image of his
Padawan convulsing in the throes of a fever induced fit.
Setting aside the wet rag, Qui-Gon hastened to strip Obi-Wan of
the remainder of his clothing. His breath caught as he beheld
his Padawan's nude form; ill-prepared, despite everything, for
just how sick the young man looked.
Pale skin slick with sweat, chest rising and falling jerkily
with each raggedly drawn breath; Obi-Wan seemed terrifyingly
fragile. Spare flesh worn away - leaving only slender muscle.
Qui-Gon let a shaking hand smooth across his Padawan's flat
belly, grazing along too-prominent ribs to rest over Obi-Wan's
heart. He could feel it's frantic pulse, beating unsteadily
against his fingers. Qui- Gon froze, momentarily 'hypnotized'
by this tremulous link to his Bond mate.
Obi-Wan moaned, moving restlessly beneath his hand; pulling
away sharply Qui-Gon retrieved the wet cloth. Soaking it with a
little more of the water, he began to bathe his Padawan. The
young man whimpered as the cold cloth touched his skin, trying
to twist away. Qui-Gon reached out with the Force, wrapping
comforting strands around Obi-Wan's body; whispering wordless
reassurances through their link.
Time passed. An endless agony of waiting, and still Obi-Wan's
fever showed no sign of breaking.
The young man was no longer unconscious; twisting and turning
his delirious ravings lashed into Qui-Gon like hooked barbs.
Bewildered confusion, angry accusations - the hidden pain of a
troubled youth.
Long buried insecurities resurfaced. Pinned by his Padawan's
bleak gaze, Qui-Gon struggled not to flinch from glassy
grey-green eyes.
"You...you don't want me !"
Startled, Qui-Gon stumbled over his denial, "No..no that's not
true-"
"NO !" Bitter despair filled Obi-Wan's voice. "Y o u d i d n'
t w a n t
m e !"
Qui-Gon shook his head, distraught. "Obi-Wan you know
that's not true."
At these words all the anger seemed to drain out of Obi-Wan.
The young man's voice dropped to a low, hoarse whisper. "I..I
tried....I tried so hard....I wanted to be your
Padawan....but you...you didn't want me...."
Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon felt his chest tighten with sudden
comprehension. //Oh my love...// Silently he cursed the man he
had been....The man who had repeatedly turned away a twelve
year old Obi-Wan .......
He re-opened his eyes. "Obi-Wan please..I..." Drawing in a
deep breath Qui-Gon struggled to make Obi-Wan understand.
"It..it wasn't you. After Xanatos I didn't want anyone."
Obi-Wan stared at him blankly.
Qui-Gon lent forward, cupping Obi-Wan's flushed face between
his hands, he held the young man's gaze. Then slowly,
determinedly he began to open himself up to his Bond mate.
Guiding Obi-Wan past the barriers which had guarded his
memories of Xanatos for so long. Letting the young man feel all
the emotions and turmoil tied up with that time - the
disbelief, disappointment, anger, fear, shame, and grief. The
feelings of failure and unworthiness which had haunted him in
his darkest moments - until Master Yoda had helped to clear
them from his mind....But still, traces of them lingered, a
distant echo of a painful past.
He laid himself bare before his Padawan; awaiting judgement,
and - he hoped - understanding.
Qui-Gon was afraid Obi-Wan would be unable to respond, to
sense his offering; but, as he continued, he felt the first
stirring of awareness from his Bond mate.
Gratefully he reached for the youth through their link, and
found himself bathed by love and compassion, as Obi-Wan
struggled back from his fevered dreams to comfort Qui-Gon.
The unfocused glaze gradually faded from Obi-Wan's eyes, and
the young man smiled, a little wearily. "Q..Qui-Gon ?......"
His own eyes bright with unshed tears, Qui-Gon stroked his
finger across his young love's parched lips.
"Ssh. It's alright Obi-Wan rest now." He used the Force to
gently nudge his Padawan into sleep.
Obi-Wan smiled again, this time in sleepy acceptance.
//Hmm...alright...//
When the young man's eyes drifted shut Qui-Gon lowered his
hands, sitting back with a choked sob. Exhausted and overcome,
he wept with relief, offering his tears to the Force.
Chapter XXIV - Obi-Wan
It was cold....cold and dark, but sounds were slowly
penetrating the silence as Obi-Wan emerged from the muted
shadows of sleep. His own harsh breathing - ragged, painful.
The whispery rasping of the wind, throwing grains of sand
against the shelter. The....flap....flap...of the canvas door -
like the beating wings of a trapped bird.
The hazy memory of a passing dream called out to him -
splintered images already scattered and fading; but even as he
pulled away, a 'voice' clung to the tangled threads of
consciousness.
...What will you give ?...
A stranger's slick tones - and a stranger's disturbing touch.
Cold fingers caressing his cheek, trailing down his throat;
toying with the folds of his tunic.....
...What will you give to keep him safe ?....
Persistent fingers playing across his warm skin, sliding
lower; drawing down his chest - nails scratching over a taut
nipple......
Nooo !
With a gasp Obi-Wan jerked awake. He sat, gulping air; trying
to quiet the frantic pounding of his heart. A dream...It was
just a dream Shivering, he struggled to break free of its
cloying embrace - the lingering memory of cold fingers and a
cruel voice. However he was unable to dispel the unsettling
sensation that it had been much more than 'just a dream'.
Ignoring the protests of stiff, aching limbs Obi-Wan reached
for his tunic. His connection to the Force was still tenuous,
but the Bond link was undiminished - and he could sense Qui-Gon
close by. As he dressed Obi-Wan felt a flutter of uncertainty;
Qui-Gon must know that he was awake - why then was the older
man silent ?
Hesitantly, Obi-Wan reached out along their link - and panic
slammed into him as he was gently, but firmly rebuffed by
Qui-Gon's mental shields.
//Ma..Master ?// His bewildered query received a terse reply,
//Stay in the shelter Obi-Wan.//
//But...?//
//*Please, Obi-Wan. Just do as I ask.//
Obi-Wan felt the sick sensation in his stomach tighten into a
cold hard knot. Shakily he crawled toward the shelter door,
drawing the canvas flap aside he peered out - but saw only
black sand and bleak grey skies. Closing his eyes he tried to
use the Force....he could sense a disturbance, shadows rippling
the calm.....but nothing else.
Frustrated Obi-Wan re-opened his eyes; quickly glancing around
the shelter he discovered his boots half-hidden beneath his
robe. Reaching for them he swayed - almost falling forwards -
as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Biting his lip he
waited until the nausea passed before struggling on with his
boots.
Still feeling light-headed and dizzy, Obi-Wan scrambled back
to the doorway; however he hesitated - recalling his Master's
instructions.
//Qui-Gon ?//
//Stay there Obi-Wan !//
Obi-Wan frowned. Sometimes his Master knew him a little too
well. He decided to try a different approach. //Is something
wrong Master ?// The ensuing pause only fed his growing unease.
//It's....There is a ship.// Qui-Gon's tone betrayed neither
excitement or relief at the possibility of rescue. Obi-Wan was
immediately wary,
//Republic ?//
//I..I don't think so.//
The slight stumble sent all of Obi-Wan's senses onto full
alert; ignoring Qui-Gon's order to remain inside the shelter he
scrambled out.
The cold wind bit into him; he blinked, eyes watering
furiously - blurring his vision. Using the Bond link as a guide
he turned and made his way unhesitatingly toward Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan's legs felt stiff and awkward as he crossed the sand;
his tread clumsy and heavy-footed. Muscles unused to movement
cried out in protest - a steady ache building up through bone
and sinew. He no longer felt cold; hot sweat trickled down his
neck. Closing his mind to the discomfort Obi-Wan pushed himself
forward.
He moved around the ship and clawed his way up the sand bank -
his hands and feet slipping and sliding in the gritty silt.
Staying low, he wiped his fingers across his eyes, and looked
out across the lava desert.
A strange cylindrical ship was hovering steadily above the
razor edged rocks. It's engines were virtually silent; scarcely
blowing up any of the fine grey ash which coated the landscape.
A small number of heavily suited individuals were making their
way cautiously across the uneven tundra; their faces concealed
behind darkened visors. Obi-Wan could clearly see Qui-Gon -
pressed against a raised slab of lava - directly in their path.
Obi-Wan's fingers instinctively reached for the handle of his
lightsaber - and panic surged through him - it was still inside
the shelter.
Torn between a desire to retrieve it, and his reluctance to
leave Qui- Gon, Obi-Wan hesitated. Suddenly his gaze sharpened
- just behind his Master - the air...it seemed to
be....shimmering ?
//Master !// Even as he cried out a warning, Qui-Gon seemed to
sense the danger; turning - drawing his lightsaber - just as a
creature appeared from nowhere. Weapon already brought to bear
it fired faster than Qui-Gon could move, and Obi-Wan watched -
horrified, as his Bond mate crumpled to the ground.
Choking back a scream, Obi-Wan started forward - visible for a
moment above the sandbank. Every fibre of his being called for
him to rush to his Master's side....only years of Jedi training
held him back. With a stifled sob he sank back down. He sat
frozen, his exhausted mind unable to think. Then, mouth set -
determined, he slid back down the bank...back toward the
shelter....to retrieve his lightsaber.
Running across the sand Obi-Wan suddenly felt the hairs on the
back of his neck stand on end....Panicked, he glanced around
him wildly - there was nothing. Angrily dismissing his own
hysterics he turned back toward the shelter - and the air
before him shimmered like a desert haze. With a stab of alarm
he stepped back, away from the creature materialising in front
of him. He had no time to take in its appearance - his eyes
focused on the weapon in its hands. There was no sound, no
heat, just a bright white flare....and then he was tumbling
into darkness.
Chapter XXV
The creature carried Obi-Wan across the black sands towards
his companions, dropping the youth beside Qui-Gon's still form.
One of the suited figures hurriedly stepped forward; kneeling
by the Jedi it held a medi-scanner over them.
"These are the two life forms we detected. They're alive." The
voice was flat and metallic - artificially forced out through
the visor's transmitter.
One of them nodded decisively. "Good. Collar them and get them
on board." It turned around to face the others. "Breshaa, you
help him. The rest of you come with me."
As Breshaa and the kneeling figure hastened to comply, the
rest moved off toward the ship.
A short while later, having scavenged all they wanted from the
Jedi's crippled vessel - the shuttle craft took off. Climbing
quickly through the swirling gray clouds it sped toward
another, much larger ship - The Black Narcissus.
Chapter XXVI - Obi-Wan
A sharp spike of pain had embedded itself in the back of
Obi-Wan's skull; making even minimal movement unbearable. He
decided to lay perfectly still and try to get his bearings. The
soft muted rumblings, and faint tremors were familiar to one
accustomed to space flight. So...he was on board a ship. Now
other questions surfaced. Such as - who's ship was it ? and how
did he get here ?
His memory felt strangely blurred....He remembered waking up
in the shelter...getting dressed....going
outside....and.....Qui-Gon !
Obi-Wan shot upright, ignoring the flare of agony which ripped
down his spine.
"Aah, so my new pet has woken up. I would suggest you not move
around so quickly little one...The pain will fade in time."
At the sound of the voice Obi-Wan turned, his eyes slowly
focusing on the figure sprawled indolently across a large chair
in a corner of the cabin.
The owner of the voice was male, humanoid and might once have
been handsome. Even now, despite the large scar bisecting his
face - turning one eye milky white - he possessed a certain
roguish presence.
Obi-Wan pressed a hand to his head and winced, "Who...Who are
you ?"
The man laughed, "Who am I ?" Standing he crossed the room and
seated himself beside Obi-Wan - who had realised with a faint
qualm that he was sat upon a large bed. "I am Rigel." He
reached out to touch Obi-Wan's cheek, smiling patiently when
the young man flinched away. "However you will address me as
Sire."
"Wh..what ?-" Obi-Wan fought back a wince as Rigel's fingers
gripped his jaw painfully. The older man lowered his face close
to Obi-Wan's; his voice a harsh whisper,
"What...Sire."
Biting back a reply, Obi-Wan struggled to control the rising
tide of emotions churning within him - fear and anger warred
for dominance. With effort he fought back his anger....but the
fear was for Qui-Gon, and it refused to be silenced.
Rigel seemed to have regained control of his own temper. The
fingers holding Obi-Wan's jaw relaxed, and began to stroke the
bruised flesh. Obi-Wan barely suppressed a shudder; but the
older man either didn't notice his revulsion - or was
indifferent to it.
"You are concerned for your companion ?"
Obi-Wan tried to school his features into bland neutrality.
"Don't be. He doesn't miss you." Obi-Wan was unable to hide
the concern in his eyes. Rigel shrugged. "An unfortunate side
effect of our stun device. Sometimes an individual has his
memory wiped." Obi- Wan knew he had failed to keep the horror
from his face when Rigel's eyes glittered maliciously. "It
might come back.....If he lives long enough."
Obi-Wan looked away. It...it couldn't be true...It
couldn't...... //Qui-Gon.....Master !//
"He means so much to you ?" Still stunned, Obi-Wan failed to
catch the jealous tinge to Rigel's question. "Is he your father
?" Rigel stroked his fingers down Obi-Wan's throat. "Hmm no, I
think not." Regarding Obi-Wan thoughtfully he continued to
speculate. "Just a friend then ?" A cold, pale blue eye took on
a sudden hard gleam. "Or perhaps...a lover ?"
Obi-Wan sat like stone.
"No matter", Rigel's tone was dismissive; his fingers strayed
to the folds of Obi-Wan's tunic. "Though I wonder....What would
you give to keep him safe ?"
Even Rigel seemed a little taken aback by Obi-Wan reaction -
the youth started wildly, a panicked look upon his face.
However, as the young man tried to pull away, Rigel caught both
his arms and held him fast.
"Such spirit !" Tightening his hold Rigel grinned savagely.
"It will be a true challenge to tame you little one !"
Obi-Wan summoned enough strength to twist free. "That will
never happen !" He snarled the words between bared
teeth.
"Ah my little cat has claws." Rigel stood up, amused by
Obi-Wan's defiance. "Still, we shall see little one...We shall
see."
To be continued........ (In the fourth story in this series -
'Lost')
Archive 