Archive: Master_Apprentice, all others, please ask first.
Pairing: Q/O Obi-Wan's POV
Category: Hurt/Comfort, AU
Rating: PG (for m/m innuendos and violence)
Spoilers: TPM & New Hope
Summary: I thought that I would attempt some song fic. Here it
is. Obi-Wan is attempting to cope with the reality of Qui-Gon's
death. I am a fan of the WB TV show "Charmed" and I saw an
episode with this song in it. When I had seen TPM and then read
some of the fanfic that dealt with the feelings that Obi-Wan
must bo going through after the death of his master, this song
came instantly to mind. I feel that it could express the
feeling of emptiness and loss that anyone who has lost one that
they treasure more than anything would feel.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Mr Lucas does ( lucky
and wealthy man that he is). I am making no money off of this.
It is purely for fun and deviant ( hee hee) enjoyment.
Song: Sand & Water is written and used solely without
permission. But, I am making no money of this. The song was
written and recorded by Beth Nielsen Chapman.
Feedback: PLEASE!!!! I would love to hear what anyone thinks.
Positive and constructive criticism only. All flames and
hateful mail will be most graciously ignored. :)
All alone I didn't like the feeling
All alone I sat and cried
All alone I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside
Obi-Wan walked into the quarters that he used to share with
Qui-Gon. Anakin would be staying in the dorm area of the
academy until Obi-Wan could clear out those things of Qui-Gon
that he felt were not needed.
He looked around at the somewhat spartan quarters that he and
his Master had shared. Here and there were remnants of the life
that they had led together. Everywhere he looked there was
something that reminded him of Qui-Gon.
Over on the floor next to the window, were the meditation mats
that always rested there. Over next to the communications
panel, the info discs that he had been viewing before they had
left on this last fateful mission. In the small kitchen off to
the right of the door, the tea set that they used every morning
to break their fast.
Walking into the bedroom, he spied one of Qui-Gon's extra robes
hanging in the closet. Going over and taking it down, he sat on
the bed and used it to catch the tears that fell from his eyes
in huge drops of grief and pain.
I can't go on like this. I have to pull myself up. I
promised him that I would train the boy. It hurts so much! I
never knew that it would feel like this.
Obi-Wan, tired from the events of the past few weeks and
exhausted from the journey from Naboo to Coruscant, curled up
on the bed, wrapped in the robe he held, and slept.
All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by
Obi-Wan woke up and found himself remembering when he had first
seen Qui-Gon. He had been seven years old. He was outside with
the other apprentices that had yet to find a master to bond
with. Qui-Gon was walking across the practice yard to talk with
Master Jorelon. Jorelon was the master of the dorm at the time
and a harsh taskmaster. Obi-Wan had often found himself to be
the brunt of Master Jorelon's anger.
That day had been no exception. Master Jorelon had just given
him a lecture on his lack of focus when using the Force and
Obi-Wan had told him to leave him alone that he was just a kid
and that they expected all of this from one as young as he was,
was just ridiculous.
It was at that moment that Qui-Gon had walked up and
interrupted. He took Master Jorelon off to one side and spoke
with him for some time. When they were finished Qui-Gon had
looked over and smiled toward Obi-Wan and turned and left.
Jorelon said nothing further to him.
The next day, Obi-Wan was returning from breakfast with the
other children and found Qui-Gon sitting on his bed, a small
pack over his knee. "Would you come with me, Obi-Wan?"
That was the only thing that he had said. Wordlessly, wondering
if he was being sent from the temple, he followed Qui-Gon. They
walked for what seemed like forever and came to a stop in front
of a door. Qui-Gon opened it up and asked him to go inside.
When he went in he saw that it was a small apartment. He turned
and looked at the tall man standing behind him, hope alive on
his face.
"Am I to be your Padawan?" he had asked in a small awestruck
voice.
"If you will allow me to teach you in the ways of the Jedi,"
Qui-Gon had said, kneeling down on the floor so as to be at the
same level as the young boy. "Then yes."
That had been the happiest day of his life. Now, he was facing
the worst one to come. He knew that to give up would be to
dishonor his master's memory. Besides, when I die, I will be
with him for all eternity and one with the Force.
He stood and walked out to find Anakin to let the boy know that
it was time for his training to begin.
I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come. As we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave
It never failed to amaze him. No matter where he went or what
he was doing, Obi-Wan could feel his Master near him. At times
it was so real that he felt that all he had to do was to reach
out and he would feel him underneath his hands; the long hair,
the coarse beard, and the strong shoulders.
It was when he would sleep though that he would hear his
master's voice. He would relive memories in his dreams. One, in
particular, was after a particularly difficult mission, when he
had told Qui-Gon how he felt about him and Qui-Gon had returned
that love with a fervor equal to his own feelings. It was so
real that Obi-Wan found his pillow wet upon waking.
All alone I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he's just
Bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile
Obi-Wan was slowly allowing people to become closer to him than
he had in quite a long time. Padme had been one of the first.
Master Yoda came next. Of course Anakin had been there but not
until later.
It is so hard, beloved. I don't know how you ever did it
alone with me. There are times that I don't think I can go on.
It is at these moments that I sit and wonder what you would do
in my place. Remembering how you were always the strong one,
yet gentle when I needed you to be.
Obi-Wan could not believe how fast the years went by. It seemed
like just yesterday when he had told Master Yoda that he
intended to train the boy, with or without, the Council's
permission.
Anakin had grown into a very joyful and merry young man. There
were times that he laughed and the sound of it brought memories
of Qui-Gon to mind. Obi-Wan never understood this but,
cherished it nonetheless .
All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by
Then, as he faced the dark menace that was once his apprentice,
Obi-Wan realized that his time had come. He could hear
Qui-Gon's voice in his mind.
//Let go, Obi-Wan, my love. I will catch you when you fall.//
It was at this silent urging from the one man in all of
creation that he had loved more than anything that caused him
to turn and look at the young man that was to be the savior of
the galaxy and then back to Vader.
With a resolute look, he turned off his lightsaber and told
Vader that if he killed him he would only be more powerful than
before. Vader saying nothing, swung his lightsaber ruthlessly.
As it struck him if the side, Obi-Wan was surprised that he
felt no pain; only peace. The darkness swept over him and he
opened his eyes to see those of Qui-Gon staring down at him.
//Welcome, beloved. Now we have forever.//
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