Salusmia

by Alex Brown ( alexbrown01@hotmail.com )

Rating: PG-13

Summary: the death of a Padawan

Warnings: Character Death!

Category: Angst

Pairing: Q/O

Disclaimer: Not mine, but Lucas'

"What are you saying?"

"Your apprentice is dying to put it bluntly. I would say he has a few more days to live..." Her voice trailed off. "Wait, are you trying to tell me you didn't know? He has been sick for four months now. He said he would tell you. And we send you all the information we had about Salusmia to your data pad. We were absolutely sure you knew."

"Well, he didn't tell me! I never saw any information! He must have erased it. Damn you, Padawan!" If the healer was surprised by the rather vehement response of the normally even-tempered Jedi Master she didn't let on. "Can I see him?"

She hesitated for a second. "Yes, but don't do anything to wake him. He's very weak; he needs rest. We do anything to keep him going." Then she led him to a room at the end of a long corridor. It was the one with the best view on the Water Gardens. Obi-Wan had never been an easy patient and it helped a bit if he could see his favourite part of the Temple.

There he was. Qui-Gon moved closer to the bed. His Padawan didn't look that bad. Nothing showed he was terminally ill. Qui-Gon wished he did. If Obi-Wan had looked bad, he would have spotted that something was amiss. Four months of this destroying disease and his apprentice, his lover hadn't told him. Damn.

Less than an hour ago he had been content with his life. He had been catching up on his reading. With all the missions he normally didn't have time for it. But now they were at home and his lover had gone out with some of his peers. Gone off for another of his wild games.

What had been the last? Ah, yes, rafting on one of the last really fast-flowing rivers on the other side of Coruscant. Garen had nearly drowned that day. But everything had turned out fine. Smiling he turned his attention back to his novel.

"Beep, beep" His comm. unit went off. He picked it up "Jinn."

"Master Jinn. This is Healer Degas speaking. Your apprentice is here in the infirmary. Would you please come here as soon as possible?"

The Jedi Master was shocked. His precious Obi-Wan was in the hospital. The most distressing part was that he hadn't felt any stress from his Padawan. And although his lover was prone to hide any illness or injuries, for he felt they were weaknesses, Qui-Gon had always felt some discomfort. What was wrong with Obi?

He couldn't remember being so angry with his lover before. His anger was only overshadowed by his worry. His lover was suffering from Salusmia.

The healer had told him about Obi-Wan´s state very quickly. It was better if he read some information.

Salusmia was an infection disease. It attacked the organs and the muscles. One person could live without too much pain for over a year until a certain threshold had been overstepped. Then the pain would start and one would die. That happened to Obi-Wan this morning.

Obi-Wan had gone to a gym with a couple of his friends. Today they would have a little contest. They would do some katas; the best of them would not have to pay for the drinks when they were going out after their little competition. Usually Obi-Wan had a good chance of winning.

The katas required perfect bodily and mental control. He had been doing fine. He had a little pain, but he had been for months now and he had always been good at ignoring pain. But suddenly the pain had flared up.

It felt like he was falling apart. His legs wouldn't carry him no longer and he collapsed on the training mat.

Bant had awoken him. He had passed out. Garen had called the healers and they sent for him. His friends hadn't known about his illness. As Qui-Gon they were angry with him for not telling. If they had known they wouldn't have let him participate the katas or their wild games.

Now Qui-Gon remembered what Obi-Wan had said when asked why he wanted to do dangerous things as rafting. He answered he wanted to do things before he died. Qui-Gon and his friends had thought he meant that in jest, meaning only he really wanted to try things once. He had always been curious. This was less then a month ago and Obi-Wan had known he was dying. He had really meant those words. Literally.

Obi-Wan groaned. He stirred but did not wake. Qui-Gon was partly glad he didn't. He had no idea what he would do when Obi woke. He might hurt him, by yelling at him in anger. But he was so worried. He didn't know what he would do if his young love would die.

Salusmia only infected strong force-users. It annihilated the use of the force. This worked with the low pain level to keep it hidden from Qui-Gon. But why hadn't Obi-Wan told him?

"Master." The voice was very weak and soft, but it was there. "Qui-Gon." It was visible it cost the young man very much to speak those words and to turn his head to the right. Here his lover was standing.

"Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon was glad to see Obi-Wan wake. Even though he had fallen asleep again almost immediately. He stayed there for an hour more, just watching his lover sleep.

He was of no use in the hospital and left for their quarters. Missing the exuberant spirit of his Padawan/lover.

Once more did he read the information downloaded on his data pad. He wanted to find a cure to it, but there was none known.

He went to the infirmary four times a day. But most of the time Obi-Wan slept or if he was awake he was too weak to react much.

After a week he was suddenly gaining strength. He would be able to stay awake for two hours at a time and to turn over himself if he wanted to lay on his other side.

The healers agreed with Qui-Gon that it was a good sign, but that it didn't need to mean that Obi-Wan was safe.

Another week he knew the healers had been right. Obi-Wan was worse than ever. Even breathing caused him pain. It pained Qui-Gon to see his Obi-Wan like this. The young man had always been very alive.

"Why didn't you tell me, Obi? Why?"

He hadn't been expecting an answer, so he was very surprised when Obi-Wan did respond with a weak and soft voice. "I didn't want to worry you. You would have worried the whole time until I died. I rather am in pain than that. Worrying wouldn't help. There's no cure for Salusmia and it was already far spread in my body.

"I wanted to ´live´ for as long as I could. I had things I had wanted to do before I died. If you know I was sick you wouldn't have let me go rafting for one thing. Don't be sad Qui, I had a good life. I helped people and I was loved."

//And I love you, my Master, my Qui-Gon//

Qui-Gon Jinn pulled the lifeless body of his lover up to his chest to embrace him. A tear trailed down over his cheek and fell down on Obi-Wan´s face. "As I loved you, my Obi-Wan."