Ruminations on Coruscant

by The Hidden Leader (hidden_leader@hotmail.com)

Archive: M_A, SWAL, (if they want it) my homepage (http://hiddenleader.homestead.com) and if anyone else wants this, just let me know.

Pairing: O/omc, Q/O implied

Category: Non Q/O, angst, hurt/comfort (sorta)

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Follows TPM canon.

Disclaimer: Dammit, still not mine. I get zilch for this. Besides, if you did sue me all you would get are a bunch of CDs by groups you've never heard of and unpaid student loans.

Summary: Obi-Wan helps out an old friend and deals with his own feelings. Post TPM, follows canon.

Feedback: I don't write for feedback. I write so the @#$!% characters will leave me alone and let me get a decent night's sleep. (Note: this was written at 3:21 am CST. Oy.) But if you appreciated the effort or think I can do better, well, I'd like to hear from y'all. Flames will be given to my cat Ember. hidden_leader@hotmail.com

[...] Obi-Wan's thoughts, :...: Jikare's thoughts, _ _ read as italics

Obi-Wan was wandering the streets of Coruscant, not sure how to feel. He wasn't particularly depressed, which was a first in quite some time. His master and lover was dead and had been for nearly a year. [I may finally be dealing with it.] He tucked his hands into the sleeves of his huge brown robe after pulling his hood over his head. As he turned and headed down the dark alley [aren't all alleys dark?] he came upon a man standing alone near the exit. The man's head was bowed, seemingly more in defeat than anything else. He wore all black clothing that didn't seem sufficient for the cool temperature. He idly scratched behind his right ear. A nearby street lamp illuminated the man's pale skin that was marred by scars. [I know how he got those that fight he was in]

Why wouldn't his thoughts leave him alone? [This is interesting... haven't thought much lately, not since-] Obi-Wan put a stop to that particular train of thought.

Obi-Wan approached the man and touched his arm. The [I -know- him] stranger flinched slightly and looked up at him with a mix of wonder and apprehension.

:I know him: "What do you want?" the man asked.

Obi-Wan gave him an odd look. "Uh..." [This is going to drive me insane] "Come with me," he said uncertainly, motioning for the stranger to follow.

The man just nodded and followed mutely behind.

Jikare couldn't remember anything. He had tried, on a number of occasions, to think of who he'd been before the addiction. All he knew, though, was the addiction and the method of payment- whoring himself out on the streets of this forsaken city-planet.

Normally he didn't pay much attention to his clientele. If they wanted to cough up some credits for fucking him, fine. It paid part of the debt that he wasn't even sure he could pay off. The addiction never got any better; it never went away.

Then tonight this guy picks him up. Nothing too unusual in and of itself, however, this man, :familiar:. Where had he seen him before? A previous trick? A previous _life_?

Jikare made a mental note to ask the stranger where he was from later.

Obi-Wan turned around, stopped, and motioned for the man to come closer.

"You don't need to do that," he said.

"Do what?" he replied softly.

"Follow me. You can walk right next to me," Obi-Wan said.

"Oh." The man plodded up next to Obi-Wan, still looking more at the ground then at him.

[Why am I doing this? I haven't done this since Qui-] Obi-Wan tried not to think of him again. Qui-Gon had died nearly a year ago. He should have dealt with it by now. Not necessarily gotten over him, but enough to start having a life outside the Temple. [I guess I'm doing that tonight.]

His thoughts trailed off as he and his companion approached a hotel. [This'll work.] The two men walked into it, got a room, and went up to it.

They went inside and Jikare asked, "So, what do you want?" in a voice just within Obi-Wan's hearing range.

Obi-Wan sat down on the bed. "I don't know."

Jikare joined him and said, "How about you take your robe off?" while drawing back the hood. Obi-Wan shrugged off the rest of the robe. :He's someone of importance; how do I know that?: "Is that better?" He stroked Obi-Wan's shoulder length red hair. :I should know him; I think I do: "I like your hair," he said half-teasingly.

"Thank you," Obi-Wan whispered. He watched as Jikare played with it. [May as well.] "Do I know you?"

Jikare put his hands down. "No. Why? Do you recognize me?" he asked with a shade of worry in his voice.

"You look familiar." Obi-Wan paused, then ran a fingertip over a faint scar Jikare had across the top of his forehead. "You got this in a fight, didn't you?"

Jikare backed away from Obi-Wan. "How do you know that?" he asked, genuinely confused.

Obi-Wan glanced at him, furrowing his brow. "I don't. It's just that I know you and I-" He stopped in mid sentence, catching himself. "You're Ni'kal's Padawan, aren't you? Jikare Hiwer."

The other man's response stunned him. "That is my name, but I don't know anyone named Ni'kal." Jikare winced as he said it. :But why do I feel I should?:

"You don't remember your Master? How could you forget about him?" Obi-Wan asked incredulously. "You two were so close. You were like Qui-Gon and me..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "I don't know you."

"I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi," he said. "I'm a Jedi Knight."

Jikare shook his head and moved back closer to the Knight. "Don't worry about it, Obi-Wan," he said, stumbling slightly on the name. "I don't remember a lot of my former life."

"Why not?" [It's not like he's a slave..]

:I may as well be:

"Did you say something?"

"No...not out loud, any-" he was cut off as he yelped. He grabbed Obi-Wan by the collar and quickly kissed him on the lips.

Obi-Wan, while not really offended more than surprised, pulled back. "What was that for?"

"It's my transmitter," he said. "If I'm not touched within a certain amount of time, I get shocked." He halfheartedly smiled. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's okay," Obi-Wan answered. "And you say you're not a slave?"

"I'm about one step above one, I guess. I'm more of a slave to my addiction, which is why I do this. The whole selling myself thing, I mean."

"I see." Obi-Wan fell back on the bed. Jikare joined him. "So do I need to keep kissing you or something?"

"Yes." Jikare shot him a worried look. "Does that bother you?"

"No. I picked you up, didn't I?" Obi-Wan replied, and started to kiss him more carefully, slowly.

"Mmm-hmm," Jikare said under the touch of Obi-Wan's lips.

Sometime later..

Jikare came closer to Obi-Wan. "I don't think you picked me up to have sex with me. I think you picked me up for a different reason."

Obi-Wan ignored the comment and touched Jikare's face, stroking the slight bit of stubble that was growing there. "I just never thought I would see a Jedi stoop so low."

"Mmm hmm," Jikare replied sadly. :He's right: Something came to him. "Do you know how I can get out of this?"

Obi-Wan stared at him, thinking. "Do you know where in your body the transmitter is?"

"Yes I do but don't take it out if you do it'll kill me!" Jikare nearly shouted as he shot up off the bed, his words coming out in a jumble.

"Where is it?" Obi-Wan repeated, sitting up. "I'm not going to remove it unless you ask me to."

"Here," Jikare said, pointing to the back of his neck, directly under the hairline. "It's imbedded into my spinal cord. There is a way to get it out without killing me, but you have to deactivate it first and I don't know how to do that." He choked out a laugh. "If I did I wouldn't be here."

"True," Obi-Wan answered. "Sit down, Jikare." He did so. "Where is it you go when you are done for the night?"

:I'm never done.: "I can show you. It's not pretty."

"I figured that." He stood up and grabbed his robe.

"We're going now?" Jikare said, sounding disappointed.

Obi-Wan said, "Don't you want to?"

He didn't reply right away. A part of him wanted to get this damn transmitter out of his body and set him free, yet another part wanted to know... "You weren't at all interested in me? You picked me up out of _pity_?" he said, spitting out the last word.

[No no that's not what I meant it's just that it's been too long]

"Since what?" Jikare snapped. "Say it out loud. My Force abilities aren't entirely inhibited by this fucking thing. I can still do the whole mind-reading thing." :Calm down, Jikare,: he scolded himself. :Or he'll never help you.:

"Guess," Obi-Wan said in the same tone of voice.

"You got laid?"

"Yes." [This is not what I wanted I want to help him not hurt him] "You wanted me to sleep with you?" he asked, slightly surprised. [Qui-Gon had always-]

"Who's Qui-Gon?" Jikare asked, losing the sharp edge to his voice. "A former lover?"

Obi-Wan sat back down on the bed. "You don't remember him either, huh?"

"If I can't even remember my own Master, how do you expect me to remember your lover?" Jikare said.

[I suppose he has a point.] Just because Qui-Gon had meant everything to him didn't mean that a man who didn't know him anywhere near as well would remember him. "Yes. Sorry."

"It's okay. I understand. Did he leave you?"

Obi-Wan looked shocked. "Never. H-he died about a year ago."

Jikare glanced away. "Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Obi-Wan stood back up. [We are leaving this time.] "C'mon," he said sadly. "Let's get you out of here."

Jikare smiled a bit, the first genuine one all evening. "Thanks. I owe you one."

"Don't worry about it." They walked out of the hotel and into the night.

Hoaral was not having a good night. First several deals fall through, and now these guys.

"I would like to buy this whore from you," said the red-haired man holding Jikare.

-No, not one of his prettier ones,- was his first reaction. Then again, this one was getting a bit ragged looking. He hadn't been eating enough and the addiction was getting worse. But Jikare was the only Jedi among his boys and the clientele seemed to love that, seeing a Jedi that had fallen to their level.

"How much?" Hoaral asked. If this man was willing to pay...

"Twenty thousand."

Hoaral paused for a minute and said, "You have made a very generous offer.

Alright."

Obi-Wan said, "I can pay you five thousand now, the rest in a few days."

Hoaral narrowed his eyes and thought about it. "Fine. Just--hang on a minute." He disappeared into another room and came back with a datapad and an electronic pen. He wrote something into it with the pen and said, "Sign here."

Obi-Wan did so and handed him the money. "Now may I take him?"

:The transmitter!:

[I haven't forgotten.]

"First follow me," Hoaral said. He led them into the room that he'd gotten the datapad from. It was badly lit and large, judging from the shadows on the wall. Hoaral turned on a few more lights, exposing a few shelves with various gadgets on them, a long padded table, some cutting instruments, and other equipment.

"Lie face down on the table," he ordered Jikare as he got a syringe full of some amber coloured liquid. He stuck the syringe into Jikare's neck near where the transmitter was.

[Did it hurt?]

:A little. I just feel numb now.:

Hoaral tossed the empty syringe into a trash can. He grabbed a scalpel, some bandages and another instrument that Obi-Wan didn't recognize from the assortment of items on the shelf above the table. Hoaral placed his right hand on the back of Jikare's head. With the scalpel in his left hand, he cut the area above the transmitter. Blood trickled down Jikare's neck as the wound was made. Hoaral put down the scalpel and picked up the other instrument. With the new item, he grabbed the silver disk protruding out from Jikare's neck and yanked it out of his spine.

The disk was thrown into the trashcan as well. Hoaral took a bandage and covered the wound. He turned to Obi-Wan. "Now you may take him."

"Thank you, sir," Obi-Wan answered. "Coming, Jikare?"

Jikare slowly got up from the table, blood still trickling down the side of his neck. He half-fell, half-climbed off the table. :Oh no I need to find him what have I done no no nononono:

[Jikare?] Obi-Wan sent.

He didn't answer, just kept sending mind gibberish.

Hoaral cleaned off his hands with a rag. He looked over at Jikare, who was clutching his head, then over at Obi-Wan. "Eh. Don't worry about it. It's a reaction to getting all his memories back."

"Will he be alright?" Obi-Wan asked.

Hoaral shrugged. "Eventually, I guess. Are you gonna spend all day here?" he said as a not-so-subtle hint for them to leave.

Obi-Wan shook his head. He walked over to Jikare who was hanging on to the table in an attempt to keep his balance. [Come on, Jikare,] he pleaded. [We need to go.]

:I need to find him help me find him Obi-Wan I need him: he sent.

[Ni'kal.]

Jikare nodded. He allowed Obi-Wan to lead him out of the room and out of the building. Once outside, he allowed himself to calm down and said as steadily as he could, "Is he still here on Coruscant?"

"I-I don't know," Obi-Wan answered just as he realized something. "You remember everything now?"

"Yes. I remember you, Qui-Gon-" he paused. "Oh, Obi. I'm so sorry. I know what he meant to you," he said as he remembered what Obi-Wan had said earlier in the night.

"As I said, don't worry about it." [Live in the moment.] "You need to find Ni'kal."

Jikare nodded. "I need to find him on my own, though. Thanks for everything, Obi-Wan."

"You're welcome. Goodnight." He smiled.

Jikare smiled back. "Goodnight." He walked off into the night.

-end-