Risorgimento - The Journal of the Jedi General

by obi-ki and padawanewan

Title: Risorgimento - The Journal of the Jedi General

Authors: padawanewan (this one alone) and obi-ki (for the series)

Pairing: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan

Rating: PG-13

Catacory: Q/O AU

Time Period: About 20 years post ABY

Archive: MA, please archive each story under both authors, others please ask.

Disclaimer: Everything Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilms. I am just playing in his world, borrowing the boyz and their accomplices and will return them all when I'm through. No money is being made from this, it is all done for entertainment only.
Authors Notes: This is written entirely by Obi-Wan..err...from his POV. We are doing a series of journal entries to go along with the main series, so the poor lads can sort their feelings out. Much love and thanks go to my Qui-Gon, obi-ki. As patient as Master and willing to put up with my dreadful sense of humour. Thanks for the beta, Master! As always, any last minute tweaking disasters are my fault alone.

Summary: After awakening to a second chance, Obi-Wan takes time to sort his feeling out and write them down in his first journal entry.

Feedback: Feedback is treasured in any way, shape or form, either in onlist or through email to kiowkqgj@yahoo.com or padawanewan@gmail.com

All the most wonderful tales start with some beautiful or witty beginning.

One does want to impress.

I am.

I exist.

I remember.

I feel.

I don't want to go on and on about being a decanted copy of the “original' Obi-Wan. Yes, I am a damned clone. However, I am also Obi-Wan Kenobi and all that implies.

The memories are real and haunting.

Is this a dream, I wonder? Will I wake to Tatooine and find this was all a fantasy?

My fantasies, in the past, have been both a curse and a blessing. The fantasies have given me a hope for the future and not a few embarrassing moments in my youth. I had and still do a very detailed one involving Qui-Gon and a beach of warm sand with azure water lapping at our very intertwined bodies.

I was nearing my seventeenth name day when I realized my feelings ran deeper than awe for a master and the platonic love I knew I had for him, as his padawan. Zharix was not a planet one would call any lovelier than a few more that I could name, however our visit to it did afford a bit of down-time. We were between missions and had attended a local gathering. Even so, this was no grand and glorious moment of epiphany. No ethereal music or shaking limbs. Master danced with me and was singing along with a song I had heard him listen to often. This time he looked at me. I knew it in my soul and the Force. My sense of prescience was whispering one thing: This was the One -had been and always would be.

Well, that romantic thought and the simple fact I was seventeen and he was seriously the most sexually compelling being I have ever met. Still is.

Best not think in that direction. Yet. Plans must be made and objectives defined.

My stars. I sound like finding my beloved and asking him to be mine is a military campaign to be waged.

Well.

Priorities, Jedi.

First we go back to Padawan Basics, as Master would so “kindly” point out with No Sarcasm.

What is our situation? Where are we headed? Why the anomalies in our Force signatures and echoes? Where is my fucking lightsaber?

Patience, Jedi.

Remember, this is the opening salvo. The battle, as it were, has just begun and you've no real information.

This is a rambling cock-up of a journal entry, but thinking aloud-ish is helping to clarify my thoughts a bit.

I am determined to change one very important difference in my personal life. Master Yoda once told me, the thing that held me from being as perfect a Jedi as possible, my flaw, was my attachment to Qui-Gon. In the eyes of the Order I lived and apparently died for; I was a flawed creature. I failed. This idea is no longer allowed or acceptable to me. I know with a certainty in my soul and the Force that their reasoning was flawed and failed. How can love be wrong? I do not love with pettiness or darkness. Qui-Gon taught me compassion and acceptance. His caring for me allowed that I might find it in myself to care for others. How could that ever be wrong?

I rather think, for all the good we did as an Order, we did worse to ourselves.

I also think of part of my current situation as this. If you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted. One moment. Would you capture it or just let it slip away? I was trained by the best and worked to be the best. Reticence and a willingness to let opportunity slip by has only ever happened for one thing, in my previous incarnation. That one thing is now within reach. Qui-Gon.

Some revelations about the past are also in order, I believe, as well. Best Qui-Gon knows that although I loved him, I was not shattered by his loss. I did my duty.

I am beginning to sense a simmering love and desire, in him, for me.

This is our chance.

Love, Jedi.

Peace, Jedi.

Sleep, Jedi.

To sleep, perchance to dream…vividly and with nakedness.

TBC