Warnings: Violence!! Lots and lots of violence. Also some
NON-CONSENSUAL stuff. Please be warned.
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go to the planet Veygra to help
with an old problem and find their master-apprentice bond
sorely tested.
The full moon peaked out from behind the sparse clouds casting
a shimmering light on the ancient glade. The gently blowing
wind rustled the leafy branches of the trees and the tranquil
melody they created drifted throughout, hypnotic and soothing.
The aroma from the hyacinth blossoms was almost intoxicating in
its strength as it floated on the evening breeze. A young
eladu, sleek brown fur shining in the moonlight, moved into the
peaceful clearing. The lush grass silenced her graceful
footfalls as she grazed on the surround foliage.
Slowly, the soft wind died down, filling the area with an
unnatural silence. The young eladu stopped its careful journey,
then sprinted away, its short white tail raised high in alarm.
A steady rumbling sound began somewhere deep underground,
slowly raising in volume, as something seemed to force its way
up from the bowels of the planet. The ground began to vibrate,
rustling the tree branches together once more and sending the
small residents of the glade scurrying for cover. As the
rumbling grew to a crescendo, a loud cracking like a clap of
thunder, shattered the night and a small fissure appeared in
the once smooth ground. Slowly, the wind began again as acrid
smoke wafted up from the newly formed crevice. And as the
clouds moved to cover the moon once more, a single word floated
on the breeze.
Pretazeneu
Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi
walked down the ramp of the Druhan, the small craft that had
brought them from Coruscant, grateful to once more be on solid
ground. It had been a rather harrowing flight as the small
craft seemed to be plagued by all manner of mechanical
difficulties, some quite severe. The two Jedi had decided to
seek other means of transport back to Coruscant once their
mission was complete. They had endured quite enough of the
Druhan.
They had come to Veygra at the request of the Veygran
government. Something very disturbing was happening on their
planet, something they were a bit unwilling to discuss over a
long distance. Due to this, the two Jedi found themselves
wondering exactly what it was they were to do here on this
rather peaceful planet.
And peaceful Veygra was. Or at least it had been according to
all the records back at the Temple. They had not had any sort
of civil dispute in several hundred years. They also had a
sizeable military presence, making outside disputes few and far
between as well. But something was wrong now. It was a very
worried High Minister who had contacted the Jedi for help.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan gazed about the small space dock as they
waited for their government escort to arrive. They scanned the
crowds of people in the area, looking for the High Minister.
For some reason, all of the young people seemed to be dressed
up as different creatures. Obi-Wan made a mental note to ask
the High Minister about the seemingly strange custom. After a
minute of searching Obi-Wan spotted the man quietly making his
way toward them. He touched his master lightly on the arm and
directed Qui-Gon's attention to the approaching man.
'Welcome, Honored Jedi,' the High Minister said when he reached
them. He bowed low, as was the custom of his people. 'I am High
Minister Calvin.'
'I am Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi,'
Qui-Gon said as he and Obi-Wan bowed to the High Minister. 'We
have come to help you.'
'Thank you. We are much in need, Master Jedi. But please, let
us not speak of it here. I have a transport waiting to take us
to the Chancellery.' With that, the High Minister turned and
began making his way back through the crowds. Obi-Wan cast a
quick glance at his master, but there was as much confusion on
Qui-Gon's face as his own.
The two men quickly followed Calvin to the transport and were
quickly on their way to the Chancellery building. The High
Minister did not speak as they rode through the streets and the
Jedi took their lead from him. Obi-Wan could feel the unease
that poured off of the man. It made the hair on the back of his
neck stand up, and he was sure his master could feel it as
well.
It took very little time to reach their destination. As they
exited the transport, they were surprised by the number of
growing, living things that seemed to thrive even in the heart
of the city. It was quite a contrast to the stark lifelessness
of Coruscant.
Calvin quickly led them inside the building and to his private
offices. He waited for the Jedi to enter then closed the door
behind them, locking it. He then moved swiftly around to his
desk and sat down, motioning for the two men to sit as well.
'Again, let me thank you for coming,' he began once they were
all seated.
'You are quite welcome, High Minister,' Qui-Gon said smoothly.
'But perhaps you could tell us why we are here?'
'You are here because the Pretazeneu has returned,' he stated,
then went on to explain. 'The Pretazeneu is an' evil spirit' if
you will. It is millennia old and has been banished for
centuries."
"Yet you say it has returned," Qui-Gon prompted when the man
fell silent.
"Yes," he replied. "Two weeks ago, during the beginning of our
Samhain festival, there was a realignment of our moons and sun.
This realignment of the heavens, during this particular time,
released the Pretazeneu. It is now free to reek death and
destruction on our planet once more."
"So you wish our help in destroying this spirit?" Obi-Wan
ventured.
"No. There is no way to destroy the Pretazeneu. The most that
can be done is to imprison it once more. And that must be done
before it breeds."
"Breeds?" Qui-Gon asked, liking this less and less.
"Yes. Once the Pretazeneu is free it can choose a host and
breed. I believe you Jedi are familiar with its offspring. You
call them Sith."
The two Jedi barely managed to keep the surprise off of their
faces. Surely this man was mistaken. But then again, so little
was known about the Sith. It was entirely possible that a
centuries old spirit was responsible for their origins.
"If the Pretazeneu is looking to breed, how will it attempt to
do this?" Obi-Wan asked, hoping to find a weakness they could
exploit.
"It will look for a young man of great beauty. Strong both
physically and mentally. If he is a Force user, so much the
better."
"A man?" Qui-Gon broke in, surprised.
"Yes. It will take possession of the man's body and use him to
sire his offspring. It will impregnate a female and in but a
single lunar cycle, she will give birth to a Sith spirit. Once
that happens, the Pretazeneu will find another female to
impregnate and the cycle will repeat itself."
"How many offspring can this thing produce?" Qui-Gon asked,
suddenly wishing his padawan was anywhere but here right now.
"Legion."
"Does the female survive giving birth?" Obi-Wan asked.
"No. She does not."
"I sense there is more," Qui-Gon said. He noticed the High
Minister hesitate for a moment.
"While the Pretazeneu is within the host body, it will attempt
all manner of evil. The control over the host body is complete,
yet the host remains aware of all that he is being forced to
do. Or that he is allowing to be done to him. I must tell you,
Mater Jinn, had I known of your apprentice I would have
recommended he not come."
"What's done is done." Qui-Gon said, thinking the same thing
himself. "There is no time to bring in another team. And I
assure you, my apprentice is more than capable of taking care
of himself. Now, you say it gives birth to a Sith spirit? Can
you explain what you mean?"
"Just what I said," Calvin replied. "The woman gives birth to
the spirit and then the spirit seeks out a host body. That is
how the Sith are born."
"Is this single creature then responsible for all of the Sith?"
Obi-Wan could not keep the incredulity from his voice.
"Were that it were so," Calvin answered. "There are others of
its kind on various planets scattered about the galaxy. Each
creates Sith spirits in its own way. Each has its own name.
That name, by the way, is very important. Only if you know its
true name, can you hope to imprison it."
"Forgive me, High Minister, but exactly how are we to assist
you?" Qui-Gon asked. It seemed as though, dangerous as it was,
these people had things well in hand.
"We can not bind the spirit," Calvin replied. "Only a Jedi can
do that. And only during the Equinox which takes place in six
days. It was a Jedi pair that imprisoned it 600 years ago. It
must be Jedi that imprison it now."
"Can you tell us more of what happened back then?" Qui-Gon
prompted.
"Yes," Calvin hesitated again. "But it is not a pretty story."
"We need all of the information we can get," Obi-Wan put in.
The High Minister looked at the young Jedi apprentice for long
moments before speaking again.
"Very well. Six hundred years ago the Pretazeneu was freed. A
Jedi master and his apprentice were here at the time, on
personal business I believe. The records are a bit vague about
that. At the time, everyone was completely unaware of the
danger. Until the Pretazeneu took the apprentice as it's host.
Over a score of Sith spirits were born. There was more death
and destruction during those twenty-three months than in our
entire history. What the Pretazeneu did not cause, the Sith
did. Finally, the Jedi master was able to free his apprentice
and imprison the spirit once more."
"What happened to the apprentice?" Obi-Wan asked, needing to
know.
"It was too much for him. The things he had done, people he had
tortured, especially his own master. He could not live with it.
So he did not. In the end, he hung himself. His master found
him in their rooms." Calvin could see the pain and fear in the
younger man's eyes. But he could be nothing but honest to the
two Jedi before him.
"His... his own master?" Obi-Wan managed, his voice barely a
whisper.
"Yes," Calvin continued, understanding that the young man
needed to know. "He captured his master and tortured him
continually over a three day period. The Jedi knew how to
defeat the creature but had to wait until the Equinox. In that
time, he was abused mentally, physically, and... sexually. All
the while, his apprentice was aware of what he was being forced
to do. He... he removed his master's eyes and three of the
fingers from his left hand. The creature repeatedly beat and
raped him, sometimes letting the apprentice come back fully
into his body to feel his master writhing in pain around him.
He even removed one of the man's testicles and forced him to
consume it."
A strangled sound forced its way from Obi-Wan's throat causing
Calvin to fall silent. Qui-Gon whipped around to face his
padawan. The color had drained almost completely from the young
man's face and he was shaking. Quickly, Qui-Gon moved to pull
his distraught padawan into his arms. After a moment, the
shaking subsided and he pulled back to look at the younger man.
Obi-Wan offered a faint smile, both reassurance and apology.
"Forgive me, High Minister," Obi-Wan said once Qui-Gon had
returned to his seat. "The image you painted was...
distressing."
"No apology is necessary, young Jedi," Calvin replied
sincerely, then looked pointedly at Qui-Gon. "I understand."
"Does this creature have anything to do with why the young
people were all in disguise?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Yes, actually," Calvin responded, surprised the Jedi had made
the connection. "It dates back to when the Pretazeneu got free.
It was looking for a host. So the people decided that if they
did not look like a likely candidate, the beast would pass them
by. It has since become something of a tradition. Even though
most people have no idea of its origins."
"The people do not know that the Pretazeneu has been released?"
Qui-Gon questioned.
"No. Only a handful of people even know of its existence. To
inform the populace would be to inspire panic, if we were
believed at all."
"I must agree with you there," Qui-Gon said. "Now, how do we go
about finding this thing and stopping it?"
"First, we must find it. With your Force capabilities, that
should not be a problem. Second, we must try to bind it, to
keep it where it is until the Equinox is upon us. Then, at that
time, it can be banished once more."
"Is this what the first two Jedi tried to do?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Yes," Calvin replied. "But things went wrong. The beast took
possession of the apprentice and, well, you know what happened
from there."
"Do you have any suggestions on where we should begin our
search?" Qui-Gon asked, wanting to get away from the current
conversation. He did not care for the effect it was having on
his padawan at all.
"Yes. There is a glade. Come, I will take you there." With that
the High Minister rose and led the two Jedi from the room.
There was a transport awaiting them when they walked outside.
Both men were surprised when the High Minister himself moved
sit in the pilot's seat. He saw the look on their faces and
hastened to reassure them.
"I think it best if as few people are exposed to this as
possible. Do you not agree?"
"Agreed," Qui-Gon replied as he and his apprentice entered the
vehicle. Within minutes there were on the outskirts of the
city, then leaving it far behind. The farther they traveled
away from the metropolis the more lush and verdant the area
became. The planet of Veygra truly was a beautiful peaceful
planet. The Jedi master just hoped he and his apprentice could
keep it that way.
For his part, Obi-Wan sat silently beside his master and
watched the scenery go by. On the outside he was the picture of
serenity, but beneath his calm facade his emotions were in
turmoil. He could not seem to get the picture out of his head
of his master, bound and gagged with blood running down his
face from what used to be his eyes. The mental image, in and of
itself, was quite bad enough. But when coupled with the image
of a laughing, blood-covered Obi-Wan, it became almost
unbearable.
Qui-Gon glanced at his apprentice. Obi-Wan had his shields up,
effectively blocking his master from his thoughts, but Qui-Gon
had spent years learning the young man's body language. Even
without the bond he could see that Obi-Wan was deeply troubled.
And Qui-Gon had a pretty good idea about what was troubling
him. He made up his mind to speak to the young man tonight
about it and turned his attention back to the mission at hand.
Although there were some within the Order who were, he himself
was not prone to precognition. Yet he had a very bad feeling
about this mission. For the first time, Qui-Gon found himself
considering sending his padawan back to Coruscant while he took
care of things here. And he would do just that if he thought he
actually had a prayer of getting the man to go. Sometimes his
young apprentice could be quite stubborn. Especially if he
thought his master might be in danger.
A short while later they arrived at the glade. Calvin led them
to the spot where the Pretazeneu had arisen. The small fissure
seemed innocuous enough. Except for the black smoke that still
seeped from it. An eerie silence surrounded this place, almost
as if every living creature in the area had fled.
"Come, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, breaking the heavy silence. "Let
us see if we can track this beast."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan replied. He moved to stand on the
opposite side of the crevice from Qui-Gon and knelt. Qui-Gon
did the same and both men opened themselves to the Force,
searching for the darkness that had come from this place.
They spent hours there, searching. Several times they thought
they had found it, only to have the presence slip away.
Apparently six hundred years had made the creature wary. It was
not going to be easy to find.
Exhausted, they finally broke off the search. It would do not
good to find the thing if they were too weary to confront it.
They would resume their search first thing in the morning.
Hopefully they would have better luck then.
After a brief stop back at his office, the High Minister drove
them to his personal estate. He thought it best if the Jedi
stayed there. The fewer interactions they had with others, even
government officials, the better. He quickly showed them to
their adjoining rooms then excused himself. There were certain
preparations that needed to be made, should the Jedi fail. He
told his staff to bring the two men food, then bid them good
day.
Once Calvin excused himself, Obi-Wan took a moment to look
around their quarters. The two rooms were huge, each with its
own bathing facilities. But the thing that brought a smile to
the tired padawan's face was the decadently large bed in the
center of each room. Obi-Wan loved his master fiercely, but if
he woke up one more time to an elbow in his back, he thought he
might throttle the man.
"Well, Padawan," Qui-Gon said as he walked into Obi-Wan's room.
"It doesn't look like we'll have to share a bed on this
mission."
"Thank the Force," Obi-Wan replied, a glint of humor in his
tired eyes.
"Padawan, you do not enjoy sharing a bed with me? The legendary
Qui-Gon Jinn?" he asked in mock indignation.
"I would not mind it, my Master, if you would actually - share
- the bed with me. I do, however, grow weary of being beaten
upon in the middle of the night."
Before Qui-Gon could reply, a servant girl arrived with their
dinner. Obi-Wan just smiled as he took the tray from the girl,
happy to have gotten the last word in for once. The two men
made short work of the meal. The earlier work had left them
particularly drained. Once finished, the each moved to prepare
for bed. They would need all the rest they could get before
hunting the creature again tomorrow.
"Have you need of anything, Master?" Obi-Wan asked, stepping
into Qui-Gon's room. He had just come from bathing and his hair
was still damp and glistening. Qui-Gon, too, was freshly bathed
and sat working a comb through his long hair.
"I would like to speak with you, Padawan," he said as he
finished with his hair and turned to face Obi-Wan.
"Yes, Master," he replied. He walked in and sat down on the
edge of Qui-Gon's bed, waiting for his master to begin.
"You were troubled earlier today, by what the High Minister
said," Qui-Gon began.
"Yes, Master. You must admit, it was a very... gruesome...
picture he described."
"And again, on the way to the site. You closed your mind to me.
I would like to know what you were thinking." Obi-Wan turned
his gaze toward the window, unable for the moment to look into
his master's eyes. The silence stretched on and Qui-Gon began
to grow concerned when Obi- Wan finally spoke.
"I can understand why he did it," he said softly, still looking
out of the window.
"Why who did what?" Qui-Gon asked, confused.
"The apprentice, why he killed himself," Obi-Wan replied and
paused again before taking a deep breath. "I do not believe I
could have lived with myself either, knowing that I hurt the
one person who means more to me than my own soul."
"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon said sharply. "Do not say such a thing! Do
you not realize that I feel the same? That you mean so very
much to me as well? I do not know how I would endure the
knowledge that you took your own life to redress a wrong done
to me that you had not control over. I fear it would destroy
me."
At last, Obi-Wan turned to look at his master. Unshed tears
glistened in his eyes, threatening to overflow. Without a word,
they reached out to one another and touched their hands
together. Each man both giving and receiving comfort and
strength at the same time. Qui-Gon vowed to himself that they
would get through this mission and then he and his apprentice
were going to sit down and have a talk about the status of
their relationship. A very long talk. And hopefully one that
was interrupted by lots and lots of kissing.
The Pretazeneu drifted slowly back into the glade. It could
still feel the Force signatures of the two Jedi. The Force was
strong in them. Especially the young one. It considered taking
the boy as its host, but six hundred years had made it wary. It
would wait and see what developed. Perhaps it would find
another Force-user to be its host. And if not, there was always
the boy. Tomorrow would be soon enough to decide. For now, it
would rest and grow stronger.
The next morning found the two Jedi back in the small glade.
Once again they knelt on either side of the crevice to begin
their search. Almost immediately they could tell that something
was different. The creature had been here again. They could
feel the taint of it, cold and dark, slithering around them.
Qui-Gon felt a stab of apprehension as he and Obi-Wan began
their search. All at once, he had the overwhelming desire to
grab his apprentice and run from this place, leaving the
Veygrans to their fate. With an effort, he shook the feeling
off. They had work to do here. He could no more abandon these
people than he could sit back and watch as score upon score of
Sith were born.
Obi-Wan could feel his master's tension. He knew that Qui-Gon
was worried about him but was unsure what, if anything, he
could do to help. Just as he was about to reach out to the
other man, Qui-Gon took a deep breath and seemed to get himself
under control. With a last glance at his master, Obi-Wan let
his concerns fall away and began the arduous task of searching
for the creature.
Hour after hour they searched through the Force for any sign of
the creature's aura. Grimly, they kept on as fatigue began to
eat at them. The dark, cold aura of the creature should stand
out strongly amidst the otherwise bright Force of the planet
and its peoples. But it did not. The creature had learned how
to shield itself well.
Again, the two Jedi were forced to abandon their search. Again,
they had come up empty-handed. The High Minister said nothing
as he drove them back to his estate but the Jedi could see the
worry etched into his features. Qui-Gon felt an answering worry
in himself, though he refused to let it show. It had become
quite obvious that this creature would not be found unless it
chose to be. He only hoped that as the time of the Equinox drew
closer, it would make a mistake.
They retired to their rooms with Calvin bidding them good day.
A servant brought their dinner again and neither man spoke as
they sought to replenish the energies they had expended.
Freshly bathed, Obi-Wan made his way to his master's room once
more. He stopped just inside the doorway. The sight that
greeted him took his breath away. His master was kneeling on
the floor, his head thrown back and eyes closed in meditation.
His hair was still damp as was the softly glistening hair on
his chest. His master had foregone his usual dress and was clad
only in his sleep pants.
Obi-Wan felt his face flush as he took in his master's lean
torso. The sculpted muscles on Qui-Gon's chest were lightly
dusted with soft curls, more than a few of which were graying.
His stomach was flat and smooth, hardened by years of physical
training. Obi-Wan let his eyes wander farther down and gazed at
the line of dark hair than ran downward from Qui-Gon's navel to
disappear beneath his pants. The young apprentice blushed
fiercely as he imagined just what that trail of hair led to.
Qui-Gon was confused. He had felt his apprentice start to enter
the room, then stop suddenly. Through the Force he had noticed
Obi-Wan's increased breathing and pulse rate, but the young man
gave no indication as to what he was reacting to. Concern won
out over confusion as he felt Obi-Wan's pulse increase yet
again. Rousing himself fully, Qui-Gon raised his head and
looked into the eyes of his furiously blushing apprentice.
"Obi-Wan, is something wrong?" he asked mildly. The young man's
distress was clear to see even if the cause was not.
"N... no, Master," he stammered, wishing the floor would open
and swallow him. "I am sorry to have disturbed you." He turned
to leave but his master's voice prevented it.
"Wait, Padawan," Qui-Gon called as he rose from his knees. He
closed the distance between them in two swift strides. Obi-Wan
could feel the heat of the other man's body behind him. It did
nothing to help quell the intense desire he suddenly found
himself feeling.
Gently, Qui-Gon turned him around until they were face to face,
or as close to it as they could get considering their
differences in stature. He stared hard at his padawan, taking
in the flushed face and rapidly racing pulse. The boy looked
scared to death and Qui-Gon had no clue as to why.
Obi-Wan could feel his master's breath on his face as he looked
into the man's deep blue eyes. More than anything, he wanted to
reach up and caress that face, pulling it down until he could
taste those soft full lips with his own. He began to shake as
he reached out with one trembling hand and touched his master's
face. By the Force, how he wanted this man!
Qui-Gon's concern tripled as his apprentice began to shake.
What in the world had frightened the boy so? The Jedi master
tightened his grip on his padawan's arms as Obi-Wan reached out
a tentative hand and caressed his cheek.
"Obi-Wan, Padawan, please. Tell me what is wrong?" Qui-Gon
implored.
All at once, it was as if his body had decided to take action
where his mind refused. He caressed Qui-Gon's cheek again, then
moved his hand until it rested at the back of his master's
neck. Slowly, giving his master every chance to pull away if
this was not what he wanted, Obi-Wan pulled the man toward him.
Ever so carefully, he pressed his lips to his master's and
brushed the barest tip of this tongue along those beautiful
lips.
Qui-Gon was in a daze as Obi-Wan pulled him forward into their
first, speculative kiss.i-Gon's
hands on his head, holding him still so that his master could
ravage his mouth more easily.
They stayed like that for long minutes, devouring each other,
committing every taste and touch to memory and feeding their
love and lust back and forth across their link. At last, they
had to stop. Qui-Gon pulled back and they both stood holding
one another and breathing harshly.
Obi-Wan began to feel a bit self-conscious as Qui-Gon held him
tightly. He was achingly hard and more than a little
embarrassed about it. Qui-Gon could feel his padawan's feelings
through their link and looked down. Obi-Wan had his face turned
away, but Qui-Gon could still see the faint tinge of red.
"Obi-Wan, look at me," he said softly. Reluctantly, his
apprentice brought his face up to look at his master. The shame
that burned in his eyes gripped Qui-Gon's heart.
"What is wrong, my Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked, trying not to let
any of his fear come through.
"I... I seem to be... um... a bit more excited... about this
than you," he said, his face going even more red.
"More excited?" Qui-Gon repeated, confused. Then realization
dawned. With a sly smile, he reached down and grasped Obi-Wan's
erection in his hand. "Is this what you mean?"
Obi-Wan let out a sound very reminiscent to a squeak as Qui-Gon
touched him. His master's hand felt so good, he had to stop
himself from arching forward. Smiling still, Qui-Gon took
Obi-Wan's hand and brought it down until it came into contact
with his own straining flesh. He could not hold back a small
hiss of pleasure as his padawan's hand fondled his flesh, the
thin sleep pants making a very flimsy barrier.
"Force, Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan exclaimed as he squeezed his master's
cock lightly. Qui-Gon hissed again and thrust his hips forward
into Obi-Wan's hand. Well, two could play at that game, he
thought as he gently squeezed his apprentice in return. The boy
moaned, biting his lip to keep from crying out and thrust
forward himself.
They kissed again, hot and hungry, as they continued to fondle
and squeeze each other, edging closer and closer to climax. And
when Obi-Wan used his thumb to trace the head of Qui-Gon's
cloth-covered cock, the Jedi master thrust forward again and
came, shouting his climax into Obi-Wan's mouth as they kissed.
The knowledge that he had just made his master come, coupled
with the wet pulses on his hand were enough to send Obi-Wan
tumbling over the edge, too. Trembling, he would have slid down
the door frame if Qui-Gon had not held him up. Qui-Gon kissed
him tenderly until the worst of the post-orgasm tremors had
passed.
"Come, Obi-Wan," he said as he pulled back and took his lover's
hand. "Tonight, we share a bed."
Morning came bright and early for the two Jedi. They had indeed
shared a bed, but done nothing more than kiss. Obi-Wan, for all
his eagerness, wanted to take things slowly. Their relationship
meant too much to him to rush into anything, even if it was
something they both wanted. Qui-Gon had respected his wishes,
content simply to be able to hold the man he had fallen in love
with. It was not all that he wanted, but he was nothing if not
a patient man. He could wait. And Obi-Wan was right, their
relationship - was - too important to risk.
They managed to be up and dressed before a servant arrived with
breakfast. They even took the time to make Obi-Wan's bed look
slept in. It would not do to offend anyone and Qui-Gon was not
sure just what the Veygran people's feelings were toward
same-sex relationships.
Once again, High Minister Calvin took them to the glade. He was
beginning to have his doubts that the creature could be found
this way, but they had little else to go on. It seemed the
Pretazeneu was keeping a low profile until it was ready to
begin its rampage of destruction. He watched as the two Jedi
knelt once again, admiring their tenacity if nothing else. They
would not give up until they found this creature and eliminated
the threat. He just hoped the price would not be as high as it
had been for their predecessors. Reaching out with the Force,
they began to hunt again. This time, however, they were
changing tactics. Time was running short. They had to find this
creature now. So, rather than each of them scouring a separate
area, they were combining their efforts and hunting together.
It would force them to cover a smaller area but it would also
allow them a much more thorough investigation of said area.
Qui-Gon hoped the more intensive search would yield some
results.
Hours went by again before they found any trace of the
creature. It was the barest tendril of darkness, but it was the
same aura as the glade. Without hesitation, they followed it,
their combined powers allowing them to track it where alone
they would have failed.
Closer and closer they came. The darkness led them down twists
and turns, trying desperately to dislodge the two. It was an
exhausting search, but finally they had tracked the beast. It
stood before them, a huge black swirling mass of energy. Jagged
red streaks ran through it as it shifted before their eyes.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan readied themselves for battle. All they had
to do was bind the beast so that it could be held here until
the time of the Equinox. As Qui-Gon made ready to speak the
Words of Binding, the beast seemed to reach out toward them.
"As you wish it, Jedi," the amorphous cloud spoke. Qui-Gon had
a moment to consider the warning before the beast surged toward
Obi-Wan.
"NO!" Qui-Gon screamed as the blackness enveloped his
apprentice but it was too little too late. He watched in horror
as the dark thing flowed into Obi-Wan.
All at once, Qui-Gon found himself back in the glade. He felt
his insides twist as the young man collapsed and began to
convulse as he fought the creature. But a Jedi apprentice
barely a quarter century old was no match for a millennia old
evil.
Qui-Gon moved to his side and touched his padawan's trembling
shoulders. He hoped to add his strength to Obi-Wan's. Maybe
together they could force the thing back out of him. As quickly
as the convulsions started, they ceased. Obi-Wan lay quiet and
unmoving on the soft ground.
"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon said softly, the shallow rise and fall if
his apprentice's chest the only sign of life in the young man.
"Mas... master," Obi-Wan began as he slowly sat up cradling his
head. "What... what happened?"
"The creature tried..." Qui-Gon's reply was cut off as the butt
of Obi-Wan's lightsaber slammed into his face. His last thought
before slipping into unconsciousness was that he had not warned
the High Minister.
"Stay back, High Minister," Obi-Wan said convincingly. "The
Pretazeneu has taken over Master Jinn."
"What?" he whispered as he rushed over to the fallen Jedi
master.
"You are a fool," the creature said softly as it ignited
Obi-Wan's weapon. The High Minister turned toward the voice
that could not belong to the young man and stared into
fathomless black eyes. He never saw the blade as it took his
head from his shoulders.
Qui-Gon awoke to a pounding in his head and a burning pain in
his shoulders. He quickly surmised that the pain in his head
was due to the blow he had taken, the pain in his shoulders to
the fact that he hung from his wrists. Slowly, so as not to
cause anymore pain, he looked at his surroundings. He appeared
to be in a dungeon of some sort. Various implements of torture
adorned the place and the walls in some areas were stained
permanently red. He was nude, his arms bound by two ropes
attached to bolts in the ceiling. His legs were secured in a
similar fashion about six inches off the ground causing him to
form a rather obscene X.
"Well, look who decided to wake up," he heard Obi-Wan say from
somewhere out of his field of vision. "Glad you could join us,
Qui-Gon. This will be so much more fun if you're awake."
Qui-Gon tried to call upon the Force, but it was as if he was
being blocked. He suspected that he was. He felt his apprentice
move up behind him and forced himself to remain calm. He tried
not to flinch as the creature possessing Obi-Wan ran its hands
over his body, touching him gently, almost reverently. First
his shoulders, then trailing down his back until it came to his
ass. Ever so softly it touched and caressed Qui-Gon, moving up
closer to rub more fully against him. It carefully pulled his
cheeks apart and let a single finger tickle the opening to the
Jedi's body.
Qui-Gon tensed. He had expected pain, not this gentle touching.
It was too easy to imagine it was his Obi-Wan touching him like
this rather than the creature. He fought not to respond as the
creature stroked his anus, not entering him, merely caressing
the ring of muscle. It was no use. His body began to betray him
as his mind pictured his apprentice touching him so intimately.
The caresses stopped as abruptly as they started. The creature
moved around to stand before him and smirked at the erection
that jutted out from between his legs. It reached out and took
the hard phallus in its hand and began to stroke, enjoying the
small sounds of denial that escaped from the master's lips.
The creature continued to stroke him, moving faster, pushing
him toward completion even as Qui-Gon fought to resist. He told
himself it was not Obi-Wan that was touching him, not his
beloved but some foul abomination wearing his body. The
creature sensed when the Jedi was about to come and turned his
face up to meet the man's eyes. Qui-Gon recoiled at the shining
black orbs that now replaced the once beautiful green eyes.
Even that was not enough to stop his impending orgasm and he
screamed as emotions clashed within him. And as the first jet
of semen pulsed from his cock, the creature leaned forward and
covered it with his mouth, swallowing as the hot cum filled
him.
"Very tasty, my Master," it said in Obi-Wan's sweet lilting
voice. Qui-Gon recoiled even further, trying to get away from
the thing before him. The creature reached out and ran its hand
gently over Qui-Gon's flank. The muscles trembled under its
touch, strained to the point of pain from the harsh ropes.
"Come now, Qui-Gon," it said tauntingly. "I've seen inside your
head. To have the boy swallowing your cock has been one of your
most treasured fantasies for years now."
"Not... not like this," Qui-Gon gritted out.
"Well, if you were so adverse to it, why'd you come?"
Qui-Gon turned his face away in shame and refused to answer. He
knew the creature was just goading him, but the words rang
true. If he had known it was against Obi-Wan's will, why had he
responded?
"I know you want to fuck him," the creature continued. "You
want to see him on his hands and knees with your cock
disappearing inside his ass. I can do that, you know. Just bend
over and let you take him, let you rut in his body. Would you
like that, Master Jedi?"
"No!" Qui-Gon cried out, horrified at what this thing before
him was suggesting. But even as he said the word, he knew he
had made a mistake. He had just given the creature something
more to use against him.
"Perhaps later," it said as it moved back out of Qui-Gon's
sight. "Right now, I want to hear you scream."
The Jedi master breathed a small sigh of relief. This he could
take. He welcomed the pain he knew was coming. Anything was
better than being forced to rape his own padawan.
The first bite of the laser whip took him by surprise. He knew
immediately what it was although he had only seen one used once
before. His back felt like it was engulfed in liquid fire as
the creature laid into him.
The first stroke was agony, cutting deeply into him. The second
was more pain than he had ever experienced before. He could
feel the blood running down his back. By the third stroke, he
realized the creature was keeping him conscious and probably
would for the entire beating. At the fifth stroke he finally
screamed, long and loud, his body convulsing in pain.
The creature waited, allowing the scream to end and the Jedi's
body to still once more before lashing out again with the whip.
Again Qui-Gon's scream echoed throughout the room and his body
twisted and heaved trying desperately to cope with the
agonizing torment.
After each stroke, the creature waited. Each time it took
longer and longer for the Jedi to still. By the nineth stroke,
Qui-Gon could only whimper. The creature lashed out a final
time with the whip then threw it to the ground. Without another
word, it turned and walked from the room leaving Qui-Gon
writhing helplessly in pain.
It was long hours before the painful tremors finally stopped.
His hands and arms had long since gone numb from bearing his
weight. His shoulders remained a mass of wretched agony with
even the slightest movement sending bolts of pain screaming
through him.
Qui-Gon tried to concentrate, to center and calm himself for
the ordeal he knew was coming. But the pain, coupled with his
concern for Obi-Wan were destined to thwart him. Three days, he
told himself. All he had to do was hold on for three more days.
Then the Ritual could be completed and the creature imprisoned
once more. All he had to do was live that long. Right now, he
had serious doubts.
Sometime during the night he must have fallen asleep, because
the Jedi master now found himself being rudely awakened by a
bucket of icy water being thrown in his face. He licked his
lips greedily, trying to bring some of the precious moisture
into his parched and aching throat. The heavy taste of salt
stopped him. There would be no respite there.
He opened his bleary eyes in time to see the creature move
around behind him. Even so, he was ill prepared for the bucket
of salt water that hit his back. A scream he did not believe
himself capable of tore from his lungs as the cold salted water
hit his raw flesh. He could almost feel the salt sizzling into
his wounds.
"Good morning, Master," the creature said as it walked back
around to face him. "I trust you had a good night's sleep."
Qui-Gon kept silent, or as silent as he could with his breath
coming in harsh panting gasps. He tried in vain to accept the
pain that was flooding him. He had twisted when the water hit
his back and his shoulders were crying out in protest once
more.
"Not too talkative today, Qui-Gon?" it prompted. "Perhaps if I
were to lower you to the floor you would feel more like
conversing. Would you like that, Master? Would you like me to
ease you down and take some of the strain off of your arms for
a bit?"
Qui-Gon regarded it warily. He knew it was probably a trick to
further demoralize him, but he did not care. What he cared
about right now was the permanent damage he feared he would
suffer if he stayed like this much longer. And he had three
more days to live through.
"Yes," he said simply.
"Say 'please'," came the smug reply.
"Please," he repeated. He tried to keep the small flush of
shame from his face, but he failed.
"Very nice, my Master," it said as it moved over to a pulley
set into the far wall. Slowly, Qui-Gon was lowered to the
ground until he could rest on his feet. "Soon, I'll have you
begging on your knees, calling me that."
He wanted to deny the words, but dared not. He did not want to
do anything right now to anger the creature unnecessarily. And
he was not altogether sure that this thing could not somehow
manage what it boasted.
Qui-Gon felt a stab of pain as the pressure was finally
relieved from his arms then blessed relief. They were still
stretched over his head but they no longer bore his weight at
all. He wondered what such a kindness would cost him. He had a
feeling he would soon find out.
The creature secured the pulley once more. Qui-Gon could not
help but stiffen in apprehension at its approach. It came up
behind him and the master waited for his back to be further
mutilated but nothing came. The creature merely examined him
then moved around to face him.
"Your back looks quite bad," it said conversationally. "At
least he salt will help against infection. We wouldn't want you
to succumb to anything as ordinary as an infection now would
we?"
Once more Qui-Gon refused to comment. His back still stung from
the earlier abuse but if he remained still the pain lessened to
something close to bearable.
"You know," the creature said softly as it moved up to caress
Qui-Gon's face. "I brought you down so we could talk. If you
refuse to talk I might as well just hoist you back up."
Qui-Gon stared at the thing before him, going to great lengths
to look into the thing's eyes. It was easier not to see Obi-Wan
if he concentrated on those black, soulless eyes.
"What... would you like... to talk about?" he grated out, his
throat still sore from the screams the creature had wrung from
him.
"Better," it said. "Shall we talk about know how long your
precious little Obi-Wan has lusted after you, old man? Or how
about the first time he let a man fuck him and pretended it was
you? He's still in here, you know. Raging to get out. Only he
never will. How long do you think he can watch himself torture
you before he goes completely insane?"
"I don't know," Qui-Gon answered honestly.
"Neither do I," the thing replied. "Won't it be fun to find
out? Don't worry, though, I'll let you know when it happens.
When he's nothing but a gibbering idiot, I'll let him come back
to you for a little while. Would you like that, Master Jedi?"
"I would be grateful for any time in Obi-Wan's presence," came
the soft reply. Qui-Gon tried to thrust the image the creature
had created for him out of his mind, but it was an all too real
possibility.
"Your voice doesn't sound too good, old man."
"I'm afraid I may have stressed it some yesterday." The droll
reply caused the thing to burst into laughter. Laughter that
sounded entirely too much like Obi-Wan's. It made the hair on
the back of Qui-Gon's neck stand up.
"Would you like some water?" it asked, Obi-Wan's own sweet
smile playing at its lips.
"Yes," Qui-Gon replied, then added a hesitant "Please."
"Oh, you do learn quickly, Master Jedi," it said, inordinately
pleased with itself. "But you will have to kneel."
"I can not."
"Hmmm... Very well, I shall lower you enough to kneel but you
will keep your arms raised over your head at all times. If you
are very good and do exactly as I say, I may even allow you to
lower them for a bit."
With that the creature returned to the pulley in the wall and
began to slacken the rope holding Qui-Gon's arms. The Jedi
master considered trying to escape, but he was still bound hand
and foot. Besides which, he was right where he needed to be.
All he had to do was endure.
Carefully, he knelt on the hard stone, wincing as the movement
made the pain in his back and shoulders flare to life again.
Once the pulley was secured again, the creature moved back to
the center of the room. It carried a small cup in its hands.
The cup was brought delicately to Qui-Gon's lips and tipped
forward. The Jedi had a moment to consider if perhaps it was
not water being offered him before the cool liquid rushed into
his mouth. The blessed sensation of cool clean water on his
parched and abused throat was wondrous. The creature made him
drink slowly but in no time at all the small cup was emptied.
"Would you like more, my Master?" the creature beseeched as it
moved the cup away from Qui-Gon's lips.
"Yes," he replied, his voice less strained than it was before.
"Very well," came the now familiar reply. But instead of moving
to refill the cup, the creature pulled a long, black scarf from
its pocket. Reaching forward, it secured the scarf around
Qui-Gon's head, blinding him.
"Why... why are you doing this?" Qui-Gon asked, fear gripping
him tightly. He did not like being blindfolded under the best
of circumstances, let alone now.
"Because I can," it replied. "Now hold your mouth open and tip
your head back. And I warn you, if you refuse, I will pry your
mouth open and wedge it that way. The choice is yours."
Qui-Gon hesitated but a moment before doing as the creature
said. He had no doubt that it would carry out its threat.
Better to conserve what small amount of energy he had rather
than waste it on foolish rebellion.
The first splash of warm liquid was in his mouth and down his
throat before Qui-Gon realized that it was urine. He threw his
head forward, spitting the substance from his mouth. The
creature roared with laughter as it watched Qui-Gon try to rid
himself of the foul taste.
Still laughing, it removed the blindfold and wrapped its hand
in Qui-Gon's long hair. It pulled him upright in order to see
into the Jedi's eyes. It gloried in the hatred it saw burning
there. Never loosening its grip, it moved closer until Qui-Gon
could feel its fetid breath on his cheek.
"You will kneel here with your mouth open and drink my piss
like a good boy. And you will thank me for allowing you to do
so. Do you understand me, Jedi?" it growled in his face.
"And if I do not?" Qui-Gon asked, trying desperately to rein in
his temper.
"Then I will let my pet Wookies take turns at your boy," it
smiled as it said this, forcing a picture into Qui-Gon's mind
of a bound Obi-Wan being used.
"He would not live through it," the Jedi master reasoned. "You
would be throwing away your host body."
"Oh, you would be surprised how much damage I can heal. Rest
assured, the host body would survive."
And Qui-Gon knew without a doubt that the creature would do
just what it said. It would probably even allow Obi-Wan's mind
to come back to the fore, forcing the young man to feel the
agony of being raped.
Forcing his revulsion to the back of his mind, the Jedi master
opened his mouth. The creature released the grip on his hair
and stood up, aiming his penis at the awaiting mouth. Qui-Gon
closed his eyes then, unwilling to watch his own defilement.
"No, Master. Eyes open. I want you to watch."
Qui-Gon did as he was bid, opening his eyes to stare up into
the face he loved with all of his heart. The warm stream of
urine splashed across his face before finding its mark. He soon
found his mouth filled with hot, salty fluid and forced himself
to swallow.
"Very good, Qui-Gon," it said once the last of its waste had
been eliminated. "Now, thank me."
"Thank you for... allowing me... to drink from you," he said.
Qui-Gon felt more shamed than he had ever felt in his entire
life. Even the laser whip was preferable to this, this
degradation of his soul. At this point three days might as well
be three decades. There was no way he could endure that long.
Not and remain sane. But what choice did he have? He may be
willing to leave the Veygrans to their fate, Force help him,
but what would happen to his padawan should he fail?
"You do that well," it said, regarding him for a moment before
an evil smile lit up its face.
"Thank you."
"Seeing you like, on your knees with my piss running down your
face, is rather stimulating." Qui-Gon watched as it reached
down to touch the erection forming between its legs. He had
endured unwanted touches before, he told himself, he just
wished this one was not wearing the face of his own padawan.
As expected, the creature moved forward and pulled its hard
cock from its pants. Qui-Gon forced himself to remain still as
it brushed the tip against his closed lips. He thought about
biting the offending phallus off before it could do anymore
damage to either of them, but quickly cast that thought away.
It would be Obi-Wan who would suffer then. Providing the young
man lived that long.
"Open," the creature commanded, pressing harder against those
closed lips. But Qui-Gon would not. He knew his apprentice
well, knew what he would be able to live with and what he would
not. He had no delusions that he could outlast the creature,
but he would hold out as long as he could.
"I said open," it repeated, its voice low and menacing. "You
think to save him from raping his master. You think that it
will make a difference somehow. It will not. You will never
free him. I will take all I want from you and then I will kill
you. Slowly. And you will beg me for death before it is over.
Now, OPEN. YOUR. MOUTH."
Qui-Gon remained steadfastly silent. Some small part of his
mind asked if perhaps this was not the wisest course of action,
but he ignored it. It was too late to back down now. If he did,
the creature would know he was cowed.
"Very well," the familiar reply once more. The creature tucked
its hard cock back into its pants. It looked about the room for
a moment, then moved to the side, toward a low table filled
with various implements of torture.
It came back carrying two things - a Force pike and a pair of
small vices. Qui-Gon stiffened as the creature threw down the
pike in front of him and disappeared behind him with the vices.
He knew what the damnable pike was for, but had no idea what
the miniature vices could be used for. He quickly found out as
the creature lifted his left foot and attatched one of the
vices to his big toe.
The creature tightened the vice slowly. It wanted the Jedi to
know what was coming and that he was powerless to do anything
about it. Not a word was spoken as the clamp squeezed
mercilessly. The toe began to turn red, then purple and finally
black. It was almost at the bursting point when the creature
stopped and dropped the foot.
Qui-Gon screamed as his foot bounced off the stone floor, the
vibrations sending pain lancing through his body. He had to
bite his tongue to keep from crying out again when the creature
picked up his other foot. With the Force as his ally, he could
withstand even the most heinous of tortures. But the Force was
no longer his ally, not here, and he wondered how much more he
could take before he began to beg.
The creature repeated the same process, slowly tightening the
vice until the flesh was ready to give, then dropping it to the
stone floor. Qui-Gon screamed again, thrashing helplessly in
pain. The creature waited for him to still before moving back
into his line of sight and picking up the Force pike.
Qui-Gon shook his head in denial, trying desperately to keep
from begging for mercy. By the look in the thing's black eyes,
he doubted if he would receive any. He had denied it, rebelled
against its orders, and now he would pay the price.
The creature locked eyes with him for a moment, then touched
the pike to his side. Raw, animalistic pain shot through his
body and he screamed again, arching to get away. Another touch,
this one to his right nipple and agony exploded in his chest.
Another touch to his thigh and his body was literally
convusling again, as it had the night before.
Through it all, Qui-Gon screamed and thrashed but stubbornly
refused to beg. Until it touched the pike to his flaccid penis.
The Jedi master screamed until his voice broke, his body going
rigid in shock. Darkness swam before his eyes, but he could
feel the creature keeping him conscious.
"Please," he rasped out. "No more. Please." He began to sob
then, great wracking sobs that tore his soul to shreds as they
tore their way out of his body. "Please. Please. No more,
please."
"Shhh," the creature crooned softly as it dropped the pike and
reached out to caress the trembling head. "Hush now. No more.
It's over."
And the soft-spoken words, said in Obi-Wan's gentle voice made
him sob harder. The creature knelt down in front of him and
pulled his head onto its shoulder. Qui-Gon wanted to pull back
from the false comfort but did not have the strength. Finally,
the sobs tapered off and his body stilled once more. The
creature held him for a moment longer, then stood again.
Locking eyes with the Jedi once more, the beast undid its pants
and freed its hard cock again. It leaned forward until the tip
brushed against the Jedi's lips, never breaking eye contact
with the man.
"Open," it said softly.
Qui-Gon hesitated a fraction of a second before opening his
nt. With the thing's cock
filling his entire mouth, he was forced to breath on the
out-strokes. And as the thing increased its tempo, that was
becoming harder and harder to manage. The wild thought that the
creature intended to kill him, suffocate him on its cock ran
unbidden through his head.
Suddenly, the creature cried out and thrust hard, pulling
Qui-Gon's head forward at the same time. The combined pressure
succeeded in ramming the hard phallus into the Jedi's abused
throat. His throat muscles spasmed furiously around the blunt
shaft as the thing finally came, spurting its semen deep inside
him.
The creature waited until its cock had gone soft before pulling
it from Qui-Gon's mouth. Using a handful of the bound man's
hair, it wiped itself clean before tucking it away. Qui-Gon
could feel the wetness in his hair from where the creature had
wiped its cock dry and felt a wave of revulsion. Grimly, he
braced himself, refusing to give into the sick despair he felt.
"I have some errands that need to be attended to," the thing
said as it walked toward the door. "I shall return in a few
hours. Perhaps we shall play some more then."
Qui-Gon said nothing as it watched the thing leave. He was more
than grateful for the respite. It would give him time to get
himself together, or try to anyway. He needed to be centered if
he was going to save his padawan.
"Since you pleasured me so nicely with your mouth, my Master, I
am going to leave you down," it said as it reached the door.
"If you do anything to try and get away, you will regret it. I
have no qualms about removing your feet to keep you from
running."
At the mention of his feet, Qui-Gon remembered the vices
clamped to his feet. Everything hurt so much it was getting
hard to distinguish one pain from the next. As it was he
doubted if he could walk on them. If the clamps stayed on much
longer, he might lose the toes altogether. When the time came,
he would have to be able to move. That knowledge gave him
courage.
"What... what about... my feet?" he grated out, his tortured
throat protesting greatly.
"What about them?"
"The clamps. Please?" Qui-Gon felt shame color his face again,
but pushed it away ruthlessly.
"Please, what?" the creature prompted.
"Please... please, may I have the clamps removed?" Qui-Gon
asked, not sure what the thing wanted him to say.
"Please, may I have the clamps removed, WHAT?" it asked again,
stressing the last. He understood then and tears came to his
eyes as he realized he was about to rip his soul to shreds
again.
"Please, Master?" he said softly.
"The worst betrayals are always the betrayals of self, are they
not?" the creature murmured as it walked back over to him.
"This WILL hurt."
Qui-Gon could not contain his screams, or what would have been
screams had his throat been able to make more than small
tormented sounds, as the clamps were removed. It stood looking
at him for long moments afterward, the expression on its face
unreadable, as if it were studying some interesting new bug it
had found.
"Would you like some more water?" it asked finally as it tossed
the clamps away.
"Yes, please," Qui-Gon replied.
"Please, what?" it asked again.
Qui-Gon stared at the creature. He knew what it wanted him to
say. But he could not, just could not do it. Not again. It hurt
too much. Ripped away pieces of his heart and soul and he did
not know how much more he could stand to lose. Trembling, he
turned his face away, unable to do what it wanted.
"It's alright. You don't have to say it again. Not yet," it
murmured gently, then reached out to caress the Jedi's face,
tipping it upward.
The small silver cup was brought carefully to his lips again.
He braced himself for the salty taste of urine, but was
rewarded with cool, sweet water instead. When he had finished
the small cup again, the creature set it aside and walked away
without a word, leaving the Jedi to kneel on the cold stone
floor alone.
Qui-Gon knew it could be minutes, hours or days before the
creature returned for him, although he doubted if it would be
the last. He tried to calm himself, find his center, but it was
difficult. His entire body throbbed in pain. The remnants of
his soul shuddered in remembered humiliation. But he pushed on
regardless. He had no choice. If he failed it would mean more
than his own life. If he failed Obi-Wan would spend the rest of
his days trapped inside his own body.
The thought of Obi-Wan imprisoned in his own flesh, forced to
commit atrocity after atrocity shook the Jedi master. He would
not allow that to happen. Not to his padawan. That simple vow
lent him strength and purpose. Slowly, he began to calm. He
reached inward, seeking his center, concentrating on his love
for his padawan. He would not fail.
It was hours before the creature returned to the dungeon. It
had secured several females for breeding. In but a few short
days it would begin to spawn. Then the galaxy would feel fear
the likes of which it never had before as scores of Sith were
born. But for now, it would wait. And enjoy its simple
pleasures.
"I am back, my pet," it said as it walked into the room where
Qui-Gon was held. "Did you miss me?"
"I see you no longer refer to me as Master," he commented,
sensing that the thing wanted conversation again. But for the
life of him he could not figure out why.
"No," it replied as it went to the wall and released the pulley
holding his arms. "Now you call me that."
Qui-Gon felt the tension on the rope slacken but made no move
to lower his arms. To do so without permission would only get
him tortured again. He had a feeling that was going to happen
anyway, but he had been wrong with this thing before. He could
afford no more mistakes.
"You may lower your arms, my pet," it said and moved over to
help him do just that. Qui-Gon bit his lip bloody but managed
not to scream as the creature forced his stiffened arms down to
his sides. "Well done, pet."
"Thank you," he replied, purposely leaving off the title it
wanted him to use. But the creature seemed to take no mind of
the insignificant rebellion.
"Tell me, pet, have you ever been stretched on a rack?" it
asked, its voice as conversational as if it had asked if he had
ever used a blaster.
"No," Qui-Gon replied thickly. His shoulders still throbbed
painfully from almost a day of being stretched over his head.
He could imagine how much agony being racked now would be. He
wondered how much he would be able to take before the creature
had him begging again.
He felt fear stirring deep in the pit of his stomach and tried
to calm himself again. He had spent hours finding his center
and he hung onto it frantically. He had to remain calm.
The creature watched him struggle with his emotions. It could
see the fear in his eyes at the mention of the rack. It watched
the calm measured breathing of the Jedi as he fought to hold
onto his control, to not give into the fear coiling like a
snake in his belly. It was quite surprised that the Jedi was
doing as well as he was after everything he had been through.
Perhaps it was time to step things up a bit.
"Would you like to know what I've been doing?" it asked,
changing tactics.
"No, I do not believe I do," Qui-Gon answered truthfully. He
really did not want to know what Obi-Wan had been made to
suffer through.
"I have aquired the first of my brood mares," it said, ignoring
Qui-Gon's answer. "I won't need them until the day after
tomorrow, but it never hurts to be prepared. Isn't that what
you used to say to me, pet?"
Qui-Gon just stared at the thing before him. It was already
preparing to create its army of Sith. Force help him, he could
not fail.
"Of course, even if I can not impregnate them yet," it
continued. "I can still enjoy them. Perhaps I will bring one
down here for us to share. Would you like that, my pet?"
"NO!" Qui-Gon spat out angrily.
"Then I suggest you keep me sufficiently entertained, lest I
seek my entertainment elsewhere." With that the creature
dropped to its knees in front of the Jedi and pulled him into a
deep kiss.
Qui-Gon tried not to struggle as the creature thrust its tongue
into his mouth. The flavor of Obi-Wan exploded around him and
he found himself inordinately grateful that the thing kept its
eyes open.
As it kissed him, the creature reached down and began to caress
Qui-Gon's limp phallus. He could not stop the small whimper of
denial that escaped into the creature's mouth as he felt
himself begin to respond.
Qui-Gon struggled with himself, but he could not seem to stop
his body's reactions. It was too much - the constant pain, the
random humiliations and acts of kindness - he just could not
fight it. He felt his cock swell to full hardness and hated
himself for it even as he thrust forward, into the thing's
hand.
"Yesss..." it hissed as the Jedi responded. Finally it pulled
its mouth away. It smiled at the sound of protest from the
broken contact.
Still smiling, it leaned down and took Qui-Gon's hard cock deep
into its mouth. Qui-Gon cried out as the sudden sensation
overwhelmed him. Not thinking, he reached out and wrapped his
hands in the thing's short spikey hair, curling one hand
possessively around the long padawan braid.
Almost broken, the creature thought to itself as the Jedi held
its head in place and began to thrust. It ran its tongue over
the sensitive head and was rewarded with a deep thrust. Qui-Gon
was now holding its head in place as he fucked its mouth.
Suddenly, the head in his hands began to struggle, trying to
pull back. But Qui-Gon was too close to coming and refused to
let go. He thrust in to the hilt one last time and shouted as
he came, his cum pumping deep into the thing's throat.
Qui-Gon slowly released the head in his hands, wondering if he
would be punished for what he had done. It seemed to be what
the thing had wanted of him but shame burned in him none the
less.
Qui-Gon was surprised when the creature did not raise up right
away. It seemed to be gasping for breath, almost struggling. At
last, its breathing back under control, it raised its head to
look into the man's eyes. The tear-filled green eyes that
looked back at him with a mixture of hurt and understanding
were more than his rather fragile psyche could take.
"No... no, no, no, no, no," he wailed, realizing that it was
not the creature he had just used, but his own apprentice. Bile
rose in his throat and he turned his head and began to wretch.
Once his stomach stopped convulsing, he turned back to face his
apprentice once more. But the black eyes that greeted him told
him the creature was in residence once more.
"Oh my pet, forcing yourself on your own padawan. Not very
Jedi, if I do say so myself," it taunted. "But don't worry. I'm
sure little Obi-Wan understands. Besides, it's not as if he'd
ever refuse you. You could bend him over and fuck him until he
screamed and he'd just say 'Thank you, Master'."
"No, please," Qui-Gon whispered the pain and shame of what he
had done almost overwhelming him.
"Tell me, pet, was little Obi-Wan a good cock sucker?" The
horror reflected back in Qui-Gon's eyes made the thing throw
back its head and laugh. It had almost forgotten how much fun
breaking a man's will could be. Especially a man as strong as
Qui-Gon Jinn.
It stood again and walked toward the door. Time to leave the
Jedi alone with his thoughts. His own guilt and shame would do
more damage than anything else right now.
The creature did not return that night and Qui-Gon fell into a
fitful slumber. With the ropes slackened, he was able to lay
down on the cold floor, taking the weight off of his abused
knees. Everything hurt, but nothing as much as the knowledge
that it was his padawan he had forced himself on. In his
dreams, he kept seeing Obi-Wan's tear-filled green eyes staring
at him, the unspoken 'why' clear to see.
The creature walked into the room and watched the Jedi sleep.
The soft moans coming from the man giving evidence that his
sleep was anything but restful. It smiled down at him, it was
so close. Before this day was over, it would have this man
kneeling at its feet, its slave for eternity.
Shaking itself out of its musings, the creature moved to the
table against the far wall. It looked over the assortment of
pain-giving devices. Thoughtfully, it selected the Force pike,
a pair of small clamps with sharp teeth, and a long thin rod.
As quietly as it could, it made its way back over to the
sleeping Jedi.
It spread the items carefully out around it, making sure
Qui-Gon would be able to see them when he awoke. The thing
watched him for a moment more before touching the Force pike to
Qui-Gon's testicles.
Qui-Gon screamed as white-hot pain shot through him. His body
jerked and spasmed, tugging hard on the ropes binding him, as
he struggled not to go into shock. For long moments after the
pike was removed his body still trembled. There was a wild,
panicked look in the Jedi's eyes that had not been there
before. The creature gloried in it, knowing it would not be
much longer.
"Good morning, pet," it said as Qui-Gon continued to shake,
small moaning sounds coming from his lips. "I trust you had a
good night's sleep."
Qui-Gon did not reply as he struggled for control. The creature
smirked at him and the Jedi master found himself wanting
nothing more than to beat that smirk off of its face,
regardless of the damage it did to Obi-Wan. He ruthlessly
pushed that thought from his mind almost as quickly as it had
formed. He would not injure his innocent padawan in the hopes
of getting revenge on the creature.
"Come, come. Up on your knees," the creature said as it began
to lightly touch him with the Force pike. He bit his lip to
keep from screaming again and got to his knees as quickly as he
could. He caught sight of the items the creature had laid out
and a shudder ran through him. Taking a deep breath, he tried
to find his center and calm his mind.
"Remember when I asked you about the rack yesterday?" it said
once he had gained his knees.
"Yes," Qui-Gon replied as the Force pike was brought toward his
face.
"I think I would like to see you stretched on it today," it
said, its face mere inches from Qui-Gon's. "Now I am going to
untie the ropes holding you in place. You will then walk over
to the rack and lie down upon it. If you do not obey or make
any attempt at escape, I will make you regret it. And then I
will make you watch as I stretch one of the women in your
place. Do you understand me?"
"Yes," he replied softly. What else could he say?
"Very good, pet." It moved behind him then and began to undo
the ropes. Once Qui-Gon was freed, it motioned for him to do as
he was told. Without a word, the Jedi clumsily got to his feet
and moved toward the rack. He cast a glance at the creature
then steeled himself to lay down upon the torture device.
The creature waited until Qui-Gon had followed his orders
before gathering up the other items and following. He laid the
things he would be using out on a nearby table then went to
secure the Jedi's hands and feet.
Just moving his arms above his head again caused Qui-Gon's
shoulders to ache. He had no doubts that this particular
torture would be one of the most hellish yet. And he had no
idea how the other things the creature had brought with it were
to be used. He figured he would find out soon enough.
Once secured, the creature drew up the slack until the Jedi's
arms and legs were pulled taunt. It was uncomfortable, but not
unbearably painful. It then moved to the table and brought back
the two teethed clamps. It laid them down on the man's bare
stomach then began to gently fondle his right nipple until it
was stiff and peaked. Reaching down, it took one of the clamps
and fastened it onto the small nub. Qui-Gon arched his back as
the steel teeth bit into his tender flesh. He could not supress
a moan of pain as the monster began to tighten the clamp. By
the time the thing was done, blood ran from the abused flesh.
Satisfied, the creature moved to the other nipple and repeated
the process.
Finished, it stood back to admire its handiwork. Blood ran in
small rivulets from both nipples as the clamps bit down
relentlessly. Taking a step forward, the creature lightly
tapped the right clamp. Qui-Gon moaned as the vibrations sent a
wave of fresh pain through him.
Moving back to the head of the rack, the creature started
turning the wheel, drawing the ropes tighter. Sweat beaded on
the Jedi's forehead as he was stretched, the pain in his
shoulders turning to agony. The joints at his hips, knees, and
elbows all quickly joined his shoulders as his body was slowly
pulled apart.
He was stretched so taunt that, by the time the creature
stopped, the only part of him that remained on the rack's
wooden surface was his ass. His breath was coming in shallow
gasps. Even breathing caused him pain as his body was all but
suspended. Tears ran unheeded from his eyes as he fought to
control himself, to not give in to the never ending pain.
Qui-Gon had to bite back a sob as the creature turned the wheel
again. He wondered for a moment if the fiend meant to pull him
in two, but quickly cast it away. That would be far too easy.
It continued stretching him until, at last, he was completely
suspended. Only then did it move back around to look into the
eyes of its victim.
It stared at him for long minutes, watching as he moaned in
pain, feeding on his terror of what was still to come. Silently
it retrieved the long rod from the table and without preamble
brought it crashing down on his tormented nipples.
Qui-Gon screamed at the jarring impact, dark spots dancing
before his eyes. The creature waited for a moment, then brought
the rod down again, this time across his soft stomach. The blow
was hard enough to draw blood, and flecks of it splattered
about as the creature drew back its arm. Another blow, to his
nipples again, and Qui-Gon convulsed, his body bucking and
heaving.
The thing just watched as he shook with pain. Lines of fire
burned across his stomach and chest. He could feel blood
running down his body to pool around him. He locked eyes with
the monster, needed to concentrate on those black eyes rather
than Obi-Wan's delicate face. Without breaking eye contact, the
creature drew its arm back again and brought the rod whistling
down. The blow landed true and it was a moment before his body
even recognized the pain as the rod laid open a stripe on his
groin and his flaccid penis.
Qui-Gon screamed, high and shrill, as his penis grew rock hard
from the terrible blow. He had reached his breaking point and
he began to sob as his mind gave in.
"Please, please, no more," he begged as he writhed against the
pain. "Please, Master. Please. No more."
The creature watched him for long moments, delighting in the
broken, pleading man stretched before it. It had done what it
had promised. And now, it would have him. But first, one last
humiliation.
It moved to his head and Qui-Gon tried to shrink back from it,
still begging for mercy. It reached out a hand and wrapped it
in his hair, pulling his head forward. It leaned down then and
kissed him, thrusting its tongue deeply inside. Qui-Gon held
his mouth open, allowing the creature access. Happy with the
man's response, the beast brought the bloodied rod up to his
face.
"Kiss it, my pet," it said softly. And Qui-Gon did, tasting his
own blood and flesh on the vile thing. A shiver of revulsion
ran through him as the beast cast the rod away and licked the
blood from his lips.
It moved to the wheel once more and began to loosen the
tension. Qui-Gon felt himself slowly sinking back onto the
rack's wooden surface. He continued to sob as the pain
threatened to drive him mad.
"Aren't you going to thank me, pet?" it asked as it untied his
hands and feet.
"Th... thank... thank you," Qui-Gon managed to reply.
"Almost, pet. Do you really need another taste of the rack to
get it right?"
"Thank... thank you, Master," he said in defeat.
"Closer, pet. I'll give you one last chance. If you get it
wrong this time, we start all over again." Qui-Gon began to
panic. He did not know what this thing wanted him to say. Then
it dawned on him. Fresh tears stung his eyes as he gave his
final reply.
"Thank you, my Master."
"Excellent, pet. Excellent. That is how you will address me
from now on. Understood?" At it spoke, it began to undress.
"Yes, my Master," Qui-Gon replied.
"Now there is one more thing you must do for me, pet," it said.
It was completely naked now and its hard cock jutted forward in
anticipation. "Will you do one more thing for me, my pet?"
"Yes, my Master."
"Good answer, pet. Now, I want you to stand up and lean over
the rack. Then reach back and spread your lovely cheeks for me
and beg me, oh so prettily, to come and fuck you like the whore
you are."
Qui-Gon did not reply, but moved to obey instead. He got slowly
up from the rack and tried to stand. He had to grab on to keep
from falling as his hips and knees buckled under the strain.
Carefully, he turned his back to the creature and leaned
forward until his head and shoulders lay on the rack's surface.
Then he reached back and spread his cheeks apart, giving the
thing behind him an unobstructed view of the opening to his
body.
"Please, my Master," he began haltingly. "Come and... and fuck
me. Come and fuck me like... like the... the whore I am.
Please, my Master."
"Oh, you can do better than that, pet. Make me think you want
it," the thing instructed, enjoying the sight before it. For
what could be more enjoyable than the sight of such a proud
Jedi master, broken and sobbing, begging to be raped.
"Please, my Master," Qui-Gon began again. "I want you to take
me. I want to... to feel your... your cock inside me, fucking
me. Please, my Master, come and fuck me. Come and... shove your
cock inside me. Come and make me... make me yours."
"Yesss..." the thing hissed as it moved up behind him. With one
brutal shoved it buried its hard cock inside the Jedi. Qui-Gon
cried out at the rough penetration. He could feel the tight
ring of muscle tear and warm blood run down his leg.
It thrust into him hard and fast, slamming in to the hilt on
each stroke. The things hands gripped his hips hard enough to
bruise and pulled him back each time it shoved forward. Without
slowing, the creature released his hips and leaned over his
back. With its hands free it reached around and grasped
Qui-Gon's abused penis in one and one of the nipple clamps in
the other.
Qui-Gon howled as the thing began to jerk and pull on both the
clamp and his penis at the same time. It was too much. Buffeted
by pain from source upon source, he gave in and retreated deep
into his mind desperate to retain what sanity he could. Sobs
tore their way out of him again as the creature used his body
without relent. Blood ran from everywhere the thing touched
him.
With a final shout, the thing rammed forward and came, shooting
deep inside the sobbing man. It had wanted Qui-Gon to come as
well, but realized he probably could not after the blow his
cock had taken. It held itself inside the man until it started
to go soft then pulled out.
Qui-Gon collapsed in a heap on the floor, shaking
uncontrollably. The beast ignored him until it had dressed then
turned back to look at its handiwork. Victory was always sweet.
But now it had work to do.
"Come, pet. Time to get up," it said as it moved toward him.
Qui-Gon tried to get to his feet, only to fall back down again,
his body refusing to obey his commands. Almost gently, the
creature reached down and pulled him to his feet. It walked him
over to a far corner of the room where a small cot lay. It laid
him down on his back then rolled him onto his side, facing the
wall. Qui-Gon felt it pull his arms behind his back but made no
protest as he felt it binding him once more.
"I suppose I could leave you unbound now," the thing said as it
worked. "It's not like you're going to go anywhere. But I enjoy
the sight of you in chains." Qui-Gon said nothing as it
finished its work and pulled a rough blanket up over his body.
"Now, I have to go and prepare," it said as it stood once more.
"You just rest here until I come for you again. It probably
won't be until tomorrow, though."
"Yes, my Master," Qui-Gon replied softly.
"Do you need anything before I go?" it asked. The Jedi came
close to laughing at this sudden bout of tenderness on the part
of the thing.
"The clamps, my Master?" he asked as humbly as he could.
"Please."
"You would like them off, my pet?" it asked, seeming to think
over the request.
"Yes, please, my Master. They hurt... so much."
"Very well. But on one condition," it said and paused. "Call me
Obi-Wan, just once."
"No." Qui-Gon said, his voice more sure than it had been in a
long while. He would die before he would do that. His padawan
was still in there somewhere, forced to see and hear all that
went on. He would never address this abomination by his
padawan's name. He knew it was foolish to refuse, but he would
not do that to Obi-Wan.
"I see there is still some fight left in you after all, old
man. I will release the clamps anyway. If I do not they will
probably fall off, taking your nipples with them and I prefer
you more or less intact for now." With that the creature
reached down and ripped both clamps from Qui-Gon's body. The
Jedi jerked at the pain, then finally, mercifully, passed out.
When Qui-Gon awoke he had no idea how much time had passed, but
he knew it was the next day. The Equinox was upon them. He had
made it. Somehow he had made it, with his sanity more or less
intact. Now all he had to do was speak the Words of Binding and
this whole nightmare would be over. He hoped.
"Ah, my pet, you have awakened," it said once it noticed he was
awake. "I was hoping you would wake up in time to see this."
While he was unconscious, it had brought the captured women
into the room and chained them to the wall. Though naked and
scared, they appeared to be unharmed. The creature left them
and walked over to Qui-Gon's cot.
Bending down, it covered the Jedi's mouth with its own and
kissed him deeply. Qui-Gon opened his mouth, allowing the
creature its desired access. A small moan of pain escaped him
as the thing ran its hands over his abused body, taking care to
caress his nipples and penis. Regretfully it broke the kiss and
began to untie him. Once freed, it motioned for Qui-Gon to
follow.
His stiff and sore body protested loudly, but Qui-Gon forced
himself to follow the creature. He would have to act soon. His
body was deteriorating rapidly. It had been over a day since he
had water and three since he had food. He could not hold out
much longer.
He waited until the creature was on the other side of the room,
as far from the three captive women as he judged the thing was
likely to get, before he began the incantation. Force help him,
if he got this wrong. He would not get a second chance. With
that thought, he began.
Ix tak nii beu, Pretazeneu.
Ix tak nii beu, Pretazeneu.
Tak li mash ney.
Priin tag zey deu.
Ix tak nii beu, Pretazeneu.
"NO!" the thing screeched and rushed at him. But something
seemed to hold it back. It was only for a few seconds, but it
was enough. Even as it reached him, Qui-Gon spat out the last
of the Words and the creature screamed in impotent rage.
Qui-Gon watched as the dark swirling mass surged out of
Obi-Wan's body before disappearing. He saw his padawan's green
eyes replace the black orbs of the creature and felt the band
around his heart loosen. Now all he had to do was get them all
out of here.
Somehow he managed to free the women, find clothing for them
all and get them safely back to the High Minister's estate.
Shortly after the creature released him, Obi-Wa was not doing too well either.
But while his was a case of physical abuse and malnutrition,
Obi-Wan was in far worse shape. His psyche had suffered
terrible wounds and the young man had, unable to cope, had
hidden deep within himself. Now it was up to the three masters
to try and find him.
They spent days on Veygra trying to reach the young apprentice.
Yoda and Mace worked together at first, with Qui-Gon joining
them as soon as he was able. He used their bond to try and
rouse his padawan, but it was as if when the creature left, it
took Obi-Wan with it. But Qui-Gon knew that was not the case.
He had seen recognition in those eyes, in the moments after the
creature departed. He knew Obi-Wan was still in there somewhere
and he was determined to find him.
Mace and Yoda were not so sure. They were beginning to doubt if
the young man would ever recover. The thought that he might
still be trapped somewhere in his own mind occurred to them,
but they refrained from mentioning it to Qui-Gon just yet. The
man was still recovering from his own trauma.
In the long hours he spent healing, in between their sessions
with Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon told them what happened. He left out no
detail for fear it could be the one thing to help them get
through to Obi-Wan. Besides, he needed to tell it, to get it
out in the open so he could heal. He had endured so much, come
dangerously close to breaking, but he had held on. Only the
knowledge that if the creature won, Obi-Wan would be lost
forever kept him going. It was his determination to be with his
love again that saw him through and that same determination
would see them together again. He refused to believe any other
possibility.
Finally, Master Yoda suggested they return to Coruscant.
Obi-Wan was not getting any better here. Perhaps familiar
surroundings would help, as well as the Temple healers. Qui-Gon
agreed. There was too much death here, too many horrific
memories. They needed to go home.
The healers wanted Obi-Wan to stay in the infirmary. Qui-Gon
refused. Obi-Wan's place was by his side and that is where he
would remain. The healers had argued that, in his current
state, Obi-Wan would need almost constant care. Qui-Gon had
stubbornly assured them that he was more than capable of
tending to the needs of his padawan.
However, the Jedi master was more than a little nervous as he
brought Obi-Wan back to their quarters. He hoped the familiar
surroundings would help him to get through to the young man.
Seeing his padawan like this, there but not, was worse than
anything the creature had done to him. All he had to do was
make Obi-Wan realize that.
His silent apprentice followed him obediently as Qui-Gon walked
inside and into his bedchamber. He hesitated in the doorway,
seemingly unsure if he should enter this private room or not.
Qui-Gon bit down on his pain and casually motioned him inside.
"Why don't you lie down, Padawan," he said as he turned back
the covers on his bed. "And I'll go see about bringing us both
a little something to eat."
Obi-Wan hesitated again, then climbed into his master's bed.
Qui-Gon had to turn his head to hide his smile. It was the
first time that Obi-Wan had hesitated to follow a direct order
from his master. It was a small thing, but it was proof that
his Obi-Wan was still in there. Somewhere.
Qui-Gon knew he had a difficult road ahead. He was still
healing himself, in both mind and body, but he would not
abandon his padawan. He knew there was no guarantee that
Obi-Wan would ever recover. He had come to as much peace with
that knowledge as he guessed he ever would. But he would not
abandon hope. He had spoken to Master Yoda at length on the
subject, making it clear that he would care for his padawan for
the rest of his days if necessary.
Yoda had not been happy with it, but he had accepted it. He
promised that Qui-Gon would have all of the resources of the
Temple at his disposal. The healers were to come and meet with
them both daily until Yoda himself told them otherwise. Qui-Gon
had resisted that at first, but his master had changed his mind
with a single question.
"And to Obi-Wan what will happen, if succumb to this you do?"
the ancient master had asked. It was all that needed to be
said.
That first night, Qui-Gon helped him get into his sleep pants
after they ate, then laid down beside him. It felt so good to
have Obi-Wan back in his arms that he was unable to stop the
tears.
"Oh, Padawan," Qui-Gon whispered. "I never got to tell you
this. We had only that one night together. I should have told
you then, but I didn't want to frighten you. I... I love you,
Obi."
Qui-Gon fell silent then. There was so much he wanted to say to
the young man in his arms. So many things he wanted to tell
him. But he had to be cautious. He would honor Obi-Wan's desire
to take things slowly. He drifted off to sleep thinking of all
the things he wanted to say to his apprentice and hoping he
would get the chance.
The healers came bright and early the next morning. Qui-Gon
ignored the disapproving look he got when they realized the two
men had shared a bed. Healer Trann sat down in the chair in the
bedroom while Healer Va'Sal asked Qui-Gon to join her in the
common room. The Jedi master was loath to leave Obi-Wan, but
did as he was bid. The sooner they got this over with the
sooner he could rejoin his lover.
"Come, Master Jinn," Va'Sal admonished softly as she sat down
across from him. "Surely you must see the necessity of these
sessions."
"Forgive me," Qui-Gon replied. "I do see their necessity. I
just find myself loath to be apart from him, even for the
briefest of moments."
"I understand," she replied, her gentle orange eyes shining
compassion. "But you must also understand that this is for
Obi-Wan as well. Perhaps you could put aside your desire for a
short while."
"Of course," he said guiltily. "I did not mean..."
"I know. Your concern for him is great. As it should be. But
you must also be concerned for yourself. You have suffered a
great deal, gone through more in a half-week than most do in a
lifetime. Give yourself the attention you should, lest he pay
for it later."
Qui-Gon looked up sharply, his face tight. How dare this woman
sit here and tell him that he might be a danger to his padawan!
The kind understanding he saw in her eyes dissipated his anger
almost instantly. There was no accusation, only concern.
"Perhaps we should talk about Obi-Wan first," she said. "You
had him sleep with you last night?"
"Yes," he replied.
"You thought this wise?" she asked, her voice conveying neither
doubt nor agreement.
"Yes," he confirmed. He then went on to explain about their
night together on Veygra. "I did not want him to think that I
no longer wished him for my lover."
"You still wish to have a sexual relationship with him?" Va'Sal
asked, her voice remaining infuriatingly neutral.
"Yes," came the solid reply. "Nothing has changed between us.
At least not for me. I still love him. I still want him. I
refuse to let what the creature did destroy what we had, what
we could still have."
"You do realize that if you told him to have sex with you, in
the mental state he is in right now, he would. Whether he
wanted to or not." Her orange eyes grew sharper at this.
"Yes," he practically hissed, his temper getting the best of
him. "I know that if I turned him onto his belly I could fuck
him and he'd never say a word, just lay there and take it. Do
you truly believe me monster enough to rape my own padawan?"
"He raped you," she retorted softly.
"NO! He did not!" Qui-Gon knew he was shouting but did not
care. "It may have looked like Obi-Wan and it may have sounded
like Obi-Wan, but IT WAS NOT OBI-WAN!"
Before Va'Sal could reply, Trann came out of the bedroom.
Qui-Gon was on his feet and headed toward the door before the
man could speak.
"What is it?" he demanded angrily.
"Perhaps it would be best if you joined us," he said, but
Qui-Gon was already moving past him.
As soon as Obi-Wan saw him, he lunged forward and landed on his
knees at Qui-Gon's feet. The young man's arms shot out to wrap
around his master's waist and he buried his head in the man's
stomach. Qui-Gon reached down and caressed the trembling
shoulders as his apprentice held him tightly.
"What happened?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous.
"He began to get distressed as soon as you left the room," the
healer began. "Apparently he can still sense your emotions
through your bond. The more agitated you became the more upset
he did."
"I think that will enough for today," Va'Sal said. "We will
speak with Master Yoda and decide the best course for your
therapy. We will meet with you again tomorrow."
"All right," Qui-Gon said, his attention firmly focused on his
apprentice.
"Would you like us to give him a sedative before we leave?"
Trann asked.
"No," Qui-Gon refused. "I will tend to him myself."
Knowing a dismissal when they heard one, the two healers left
the Jedi's quarters. They needed to speak with Yoda. Hopefully
between the three of them, they could figure out what to do.
Master Yoda found Mace Windu waiting for him when he returned
to his rooms. He had spoken at length with the healers. It was
decided that for now, they would council the two together.
Perhaps when the boy was better, they would be able to deal
with the master's pain.
"It was too easy, wasn't it," Mace said as Yoda settled himself
in his chair.
"Um. Yes," Yoda replied. "Still here, the beast is. Hiding."
"Does Qui-Gon suspect?" Mace asked, his concern for his friend
evident.
"No," Yoda said flatly. "Thinks the boy free, he does."
"What can we do?" Mace asked, the need to do something,
anything, burning in him.
"Wait." Yoda advised. "When stronger the boy is, act we will.
But soon, it must be."
"Do you truly believe Kenobi can withstand it?" There was no
doubt what Mace believed.
"He must," Yoda said softly. "Or lose them both, we will."
"I will prepare the healers," Mace said and took his leave of
the diminuitive master.
Qui-Gon managed to get Obi-Wan up from his knees and back into
bed. The young man had not wanted to release him. Only after
Qui-Gon had assured him that he would stay with him, would join
him on the bed, did Obi-Wan relent.
The Jedi master removed his boots and moved to lie beside his
apprentice. As soon as he was stretched out, Obi-Wan curled
into his side. Qui-Gon adjusted the young man's head so it lay
on his chest, tucked just under his chin. Qui-Gon felt tears
sting his eyes as he enjoyed the feel of his love's solid
warmth. He had been so afraid of losing the young man.
Ruefully, he realized he should probably speak to the healers
about that the next time they came.
"Oh, Precious One," Qui-Gon breathed. "How I love you."
Obi-Wan snuggled the tiniest bit closer at the words and
Qui-Gon felt his heart soar. Slowly, he was getting through.
"Are you still awake, my Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked after a
minute. A slight shift of the young man's head indicated he
was. "There are some things I want to say to you. Things you
need to hear. Things I desperately need you to believe. Can you
do that for me, my Precious One? Can you listen to what I have
to say and try to believe it?"
Qui-Gon waited for Obi-Wan to give some sign that he
understood. Qui-Gon was about to prompt him for an answer when
the slight nod came again. Taking a deep breath, the Jedi
master began to speak.
"It was not your fault, love," he began and felt Obi-Wan tense
in his arms almost immediately. "It was my own. I failed to see
the danger. Even warned though I was, I failed to see the
danger you were in. I did not realize how fast the thing could
move, how quickly it could... could take possession. I am so
sorry, love. I failed you so terribly. I failed us both."
Qui-Gon grew silent. Obi-Wan was rigid in his arms. Gently, he
stroked the young man's back, soothing. As much as Obi-Wan
needed to hear these words, Qui-Gon needed to say them even
more. The guilt had been gnawing at him day and night. He
prayed to whatever being might be listening that his failure
would not cost him his Obi-Wan.
"What you must remember, above all else, my Precious One, is
that it was not you," Qui-Gon continued. "It. Was. Not. You. It
may have worn your body, but it was never you."
Obi-Wan began to tremble in his arms, trying to move away from
the man holding him. But Qui-Gon would have none of it. He held
his apprentice tight. The more Obi-Wan struggled to move away,
the more Qui-Gon pulled him closer, until he lay atop his
master's chest with strong arms holding him in place.
"I may have called it master," Qui-Gon said as he looked deep
into anguished green eyes. "But I never called it Obi-Wan."
Tears began to flow from those pain-filled green eyes to rain
down on Qui-Gon's chest. Obi-Wan had stopped struggling as sobs
began to work their way up from the depths of his tortured
soul. Qui-Gon felt his own tears forming as he held his
shattered padawan.
An eternity later, Obi-Wan's sobs began to taper off. Qui-Gon
continued to hold him, stroking his hair, rubbing his back,
soothing and calming the young man in any way he could. And
through it all, he poured his love through their link, letting
Obi-Wan see just how much his old master needed him to come
back.
"Better?" Qui-Gon asked once the last of the tears had stopped.
A brief nod against his damp chest was the only reply, but
Qui-Gon took heart in it. It was a much stronger, if still
non-verbal, reply than he had been getting before.
Gripping Obi-Wan tightly, Qui-Gon rolled them onto their sides.
He moved back just a bit, enough so he could look at his
apprentice's face but still keep as much of the full body
contact as possible. The soft green eyes were red and puffy
from crying and tear tracks stained the too pale face, but to
Qui-Gon it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. So
lost was he in cataloging the beloved face before him that he
was taken by complete surprise when Obi-Wan leaned forward and
kissed him.
It was a chaste kiss really, just the barest brushing of lips.
But it was enough to make the older man inhale sharply and
freeze. Seeming to take Qui-Gon's lack of refusal for consent,
Obi-Wan leaned forward again, this time running the barest tip
of tongue over his master's closed lips.
Qui-Gon moaned at the feel of that soft wet tongue, a bolt of
raw desire spiking through him. With an effort, he took his
padawan's shoulders and moved him gently back. Qui-Gon could
see the pain of his rejection as the green eyes filled with
tears once more.
"No, my Precious One," he said quickly. "Never think I do not
want you. I do and quite badly. But you are not yet yourself.
And I can not take the chance that this is just to please me,
or to somehow make amends for that which was not your fault."
Obi-Wan tried to turn his face away, but Qui-Gon would not
allow it. Reaching down, he took one of Obi-Wan's hands and
guided it to his rock hard penis. He had not lied when he said
he wanted this.
"I do want this, beloved," he continued as Obi-Wan's eyes grew
wide with understanding. "But not at your expense. Never at
your expense."
He pulled the young man's hand away and wrapped his arms around
him once more. He pulled him closer until Obi-Wan's face was
buried in his chest again. Obi-Wan held his master back just as
tightly. And for the first time since this nightmare began,
Obi-Wan sent a feeling across their link.
Qui-Gon almost choked as he felt the faintest tendril of love
slide along their bond. It was so much more than he thought he
would ever have again. He silently thanked the Force and
whoever else might be listening for the incredible strength of
the man in his arms. Emotionally exhausted, the two fell asleep
together, wrapped in each other's arms.
The two men slept the rest of the day and through the night.
When they awoke, they were still as they had lain down. Qui-Gon
laughed at the rumpled state of their clothing. He wondered
what the healers would have to say about that when they
arrived.
He did not have long to wait as the soft chime of the door
broke into his thoughts. Obi-Wan had begun to rouse and with a
nod, Qui-Gon went to answer the door. The two healers walked
in, followed by Mace, Yoda and Master Go-Sha'en.
"What's going on?" Qui-Gon asked, dispensing with the niceties.
"Come to see your apprentice, we have," Yoda said firmly.
"He's still in bed," Qui-Gon replied not liking this at all.
"Show us to him, you will," Yoda stated. With a slight bow,
Qui-Gon turned and led them into his bedchamber. If they were
surprised that Obi-Wan was spending his nights in his master's
bed, they had the good graces not to show it.
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said softly, "you have visitors."
"Bind him," Mace said and Master Go-Sha'en moved to obey.
However, he quickly found his way blocked by a snarling man
with a light saber in his hand.
"The hell you will," Qui-Gon hissed at them. His blue eyes
turning stormy with anger.
"Do this, we must, my Padawan," Yoda said softly. "Free, the
boy is not."
"No," Qui-Gon said in denial. He had spoken the Words. His
padawan was free. He had seen the thing leave Obi-Wan's body
with his own eyes.
"Hiding the creature is," Yoda continued. "Growing stronger. To
escape, it seeks."
"No," Qui-Gon denied again, but his light saber lowered just
the same. He had always trusted Yoda. He trusted his former
master with his life. Now it appeared he would have to trust
him with Obi-Wan's as well.
"Weak it is right now," Yoda pushed on, seeing Qui-Gon waver.
"Destroy it, we can. Free, your apprentice will be."
"But alive, my apprentice will be not," Qui-Gon spat out
vehemently, his anger and futility making him shake.
"Know that, we do not," Yoda replied, ignoring the man's taunt.
"A chance, he has. But hurry, we must. Stronger, the creature
grows. Soon, lost forever will the boy be."
Qui-Gon powered his saber down and threw it aside. It crashed
into the far wall but he paid it no mind. If Obi-Wan lived, he
could repair it. If not, he would have no further need of the
weapon. He looked into the eyes of his master then and saw
compassion. Turning to Master Go-Sha'en, he took the restraints
from the man without a word then turned to face his wide-eyed
padawan.
"Obi-Wan..." he began, unsure what to say.
Obi-Wan looked at him for a moment, then moved to the center of
the large bed. Never taking his eyes off Qui-Gon, he lay down
and pointed his hands and feet toward the four corners of the
bed. Tears stung Qui-Gon's eyes as he moved to bind his
apprentice.
Mace Windu wondered at the wisdom of allowing Qui-Gon to take
part in these proceedings as he watched the man restrain his
apprentice. He could see the pain in his eyes as he carefully
bound each appendage. This was not going to be easy and there
was no guarantee that the boy would survive.
Once Obi-Wan was secured, Qui-Gon stepped back with the others.
He could see the fear on his padawan's face and wanted nothing
more than to soothe it away. He wondered how much more his
young lover could endure before he finally shattered
completely.
"It is time," Mace said, breaking Qui-Gon out of his thoughts.
"What must we do?" Qui-Gon asked, his eyes never leaving
Obi-Wan's.
"We will sit surrounding the bed. Then we use the Force to
bring the creature out of hiding and banish it," Mace replied
succinctly.
"And Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked. When Mace looked away from him,
he knew. "You know he can't survive this. You know it's going
to kill him."
"Know this, we do not," Yoda cut in.
"I will not allow this!" Qui-Gon roared as he moved to stand
between his apprentice and these seeking to harm him.
All at once, Qui-Gon stopped and whirled to look at his
padawan. A single thought had traveled along their link. //I
would rather die than have this thing inside me anymore.//
"Obi-Wan..." Qui-Gon trailed off, unable to continue.
//There is no death. There is the Force.//
"All right, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said reluctantly. "But hear this,
my Precious One. On my honor, I pledge myself to you. Wither
thou goest, I will follow. There is no death. There is the
Force."
"Qui-Gon," Mace said, not liking what he was hearing at all.
"Let us begin," Qui-Gon replied. One way or the other, they
would be free of this creature. Then he and Obi-Wan could be
together.
It was three days before they were able to make any headway.
Three days of watching as Obi-Wan grew weaker and weaker. Three
days of the creature taunting him with the things it had done
to him. Three days of it promising to make the rack seem like a
warm up when it got its hands on him again.
Qui-Gon ignored it all. The others tried to as well, but it was
difficult. Before they had only Qui-Gon's verbal rendition of
what had occurred. Now, they had a full visual display as the
creature fed them images of what it had done, what it had
forced the Jedi to do in order to survive.
Hot tears ran down Mace's face as he watched his friend suffer
on the rack. But the worst was watching his rape. He felt anger
suffuse him and redoubled his efforts against the thing. He
would not allow this creature to torment this man again. Either
of these men.
By dawn of the third day, it changed tactics and they knew they
were getting closer. Agonized green eyes replaced those
horrible black orbs as Obi-Wan gazed directly at his master.
Qui-Gon willed himself not to respond. That was not yet his
apprentice lying there.
"Master, please," it begged in Obi-Wan's voice. A voice that
now echoed pain and fear. "It hurts so much. Help me. Please,
Master."
Qui-Gon willed himself not to respond, not to react. But it was
hard. It was so very hard. He felt a wave of support directed
at him and turned to see Mace Windu's concerned eyes. With the
barest nod, he thanked the man then turned his attention back
to the creature.
"Hear me, Jedi," the creature panted at Qui-Gon when the man
did not respond. "Destroy me and you destroy him as well. I
will shred his mind as I leave, my last gift to you."
"Then I will send us both to the Force and end our pain,"
Qui-Gon replied calmly. He would fight for Obi-Wan to the end,
but as the days wore on he had little hope left that his
apprentice would survive. Only the knowledge that Obi-Wan would
rather die than be host to this thing any longer kept him
going. He would not fail his padawan again, even if all he
could offer was a clean, quick death.
On the fourth day, they could see it wavering. They were so
very close now. It had changed tactics yet again. Now forcing
Qui-Gon, and the others, to watch images of Obi-Wan being
tortured and abused at his master's hand. Qui-Gon watched as
every torture and humiliation the creature had put him through
was visited on the image of Obi-Wan. Only by forcing himself to
repeat 'It is not real. It did not happen.' over and over was
the Jedi master able to remain calm.
The others quietly marveled at the strength of the man. The
creature had sensed he was the weak link amongst them and was
concentrating its efforts on breaking him. What the thing
failed to realize was that where his padawan was concerned,
Qui-Gon Jinn may bend, but he would never break.
By the end of the fourth day, the creature knew it was beaten.
It could not hope to hold on much longer. It would make good
its threat to rend apart the boy's mind and take comfort in the
fact that it had destroyed two Jedi if nothing else. But it had
one trick left, one last gambit.
"I can give him back to you," it said quietly. "He would have
control over himself. He would be whole again. And he would
never age, as long as I remained inside him. He could be your
beautiful young lover for eternity. And I can keep you from
aging as well. You would never have to know the pain of
becoming a burden to him, of watching him cast you aside in
favor of another, younger lover."
"No," Qui-Gon said softly. But oh how his heart yearned for
what this damnable thing offered him.
"Then watch as I tear his mind and soul apart!" The creature
let out a howl and they watched helplessly as Obi-Wan began to
writhe. His eyes were wild with pain. They could feel his
terror as the creature sought to do as much damage as it could
before being cast out.
The Jedi brought the Force to bear on it, trying to help the
struggling young man. As he watched his lover screaming in
pain, some small part of Qui-Gon broke and he doubted if he
would have the heart to fix it, regardless of how this turned
out.
As quickly as it had begun, it was over. Obi-Wan's struggles
ceased and he lay unmoving on the bed, his chest rising and
falling shallowly. The healers started to move toward him, but
Yoda held up a small green hand, stopping them. He concentrated
on the boy, searching for any trace of the creature. Satisfied
that they had managed to banish the thing once more, he dropped
his hand and the two healers rushed forward.
The boy was alive, they could tell that much at least. He was
weak and dehydrated but that appeared to be all that was
physically wrong with him. His mind, however, was a different
matter. The sparkling green eyes were now dull and lifeless as
if no consciousness remained. As gently as they could, they
probed his mind trying to find some small trace of him. But
there was nothing. Apparently the creature had made good on its
threat and destroyed the boy's mind as it left.
Qui-Gon watched as the healers examined his apprentice. He did
not move from where he sat. He did not need to see the rise and
fall of Obi-Wan's chest to know he still lived. He could tell
that much from their bond. He could also tell that something
was not right. He reached along their bond hoping to contact
the other man but all he found was a great expanse of
nothingness. Not even a trace of Obi-Wan remained.
Qui-Gon felt another small thing inside him break and realized
it was hope. There was no hope. Now all that remained was duty.
He slammed his shields into place quickly. He doubted if he had
anyone fooled, but if they knew what he planned to do, they
would try to stop him. He really did not want it to come to
sabers between him and Mace.
"Leave us," Qui-Gon said quietly. As they moved to obey his
wishes, only Yoda spoke up.
"Free, the boy is now," the ancient master said, offering what
small amount of comfort he could.
"Get. Out." The venom in that reply took the master by
surprise, but he said nothing as he turned to follow the others
out of the room.
Only when they were gone, did Qui-Gon stand. He went first to
the door, engaging the privacy lock. They would have to
override it if they wanted to get in and that would take some
time. Next he went to his apprentice and began to carefully
remove the restraints.
Obi-Wan's wrists and ankles were raw and bleeding from fighting
for so long. Qui-Gon rubbed them tenderly, using the Force to
help heal the small wounds. If only he could heal the wounds on
the young man's soul as easily.
Once healed, he slowly undressed his padawan and tucked the
naked man under the blankets. He, too, got undressed and joined
his lover. He got as comfortable as he could, then pulled the
unresisting form into his arms until they lay as they had all
those nights ago.
Qui-Gon slept fitfully. Dreams plagued him. Dreams in which his
padawan was tortured endlessly while he was forced to watch.
Dreams where the light never again shown in Obi-Wan's eyes.
Dreams where he remained fo I truly did not think I would ever love like this.
I thank you for that, my love. Even if we had much too brief a
time together."
Qui-Gon had to stop. He could no longer contain his tears. He
longed to rage to the fates that it was not fair. He recognized
the futility in that and struggled to regain his composure.
This would not help Obi-Wan. And he had to try.
"We will be together, beloved. I promise you that," he began
again. "If I can not reach you, I will send us both on our way.
I find I do not fear death as much as I fear life without you
in it to guide me."
Qui-Gon paused. He had felt the slightest shift from Obi-Wan at
his words. He prayed to any being that would listen that he had
not imagined it. He believed his apprentice was still in there
somewhere. All he had to do was reach him again.
"Do you remember what I told you on Veygra?" he asked. "We were
in my room and you were telling me that you understood why the
apprentice had killed himself. I told you then that I thought
it would destroy me if you did something like that. I was
right."
Qui-Gon paused again. He tried to get his tears under control
once more and finally gave up. He let them roll down his
temples as he bit down on a sob. He would not come apart
completely. His padawan needed him.
"This... this half life you've been driven to, it tears me
apart inside," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "Know
this, my Precious One, I will keep my word to you. Wither thou
goest, I will follow. There is no death. There is the Force."
Qui-Gon moved Obi-Wan off of him then and stood. He made sure
his padawan was comfortable, tucking the blanket around his lax
body. Obi-Wan's eyes never left him as he dressed and moved
over to his desk. He picked up a data pad and began to type. A
few minutes later, he stopped and turned back to the bed.
"I can not kill you myself," he said softly. "But I have left
instructions for Mace. I will see he gets this pad and he will
know what to do. He will come and give you a small vial to
drink. Do not fear. It will be painless. And I will be waiting
for you on the other side."
Without another word, Qui-Gon picked up his lightsaber from
where he had thrown it. The housing was broken. It was useless.
He dropped it back onto the floor and went to retrieve
Obi-Wan's. He started to walk out, but turned back to look into
the eyes of his lover one last time.
"If you have need of me, I will be in the gardens. Ensuring
that my body follows my heart's desires."
Qui-Gon came to his usual spot in the gardens and knelt. He
laid Obi-Wan's lightsaber down in front of him and set the data
pad off to the side where he would not fall on it. He trusted
Mace to carry out his last request, knowing the man would see
it as an act of mercy rather than murder.
The Jedi master began to meditate, preparing himself. He
recalled to mind every happy moment with Obi-Wan. He went over
them in detail. He savored the look in his apprentice's eyes
when he laughed, the way the sun glinted off his hair giving it
a golden cast, the play of lean hard muscles as he performed a
kata. With tears in his eyes, Qui-Gon reached down and picked
up his padawan's lightsaber.
Obi-Wan was lost. He had known the creature was going to try to
destroy him so he had done the only thing he could think of. He
had hidden. But now he could not find his way back. And, if he
were to be honest with himself, he was not sure he wanted to go
back. It was peaceful here. There were no monsters chasing him,
trying to devour his soul here.
But something nagged at him. Something was not right. He could
feel a sense of foreboding, of danger. Tentatively he reached
out, seeking the source of the disturbance. As he reached out,
images began to filter through to him. Qui-Gon holding him.
Qui-Gon talking softly to him. Qui-Gon picking up his
lightsaber and going to the gardens.
//Nooooo!// came the mental wail as Obi-Wan realized what his
master was about to do. All at once, he found himself back. He
was shaky and weak, but he was back. Now all he had to do was
get to Qui-Gon before it was too late.
He tried to reach out to the man across their bond, but got no
reply. He knew his master still lived, so either he was too
weak or the man was in deep meditation. Any other time, Obi-Wan
would still have been able to reach him, but his master was not
expecting to hear from him.
With a groan, the young man threw back the blanket and climbed
to his feet. He almost collapsed as his legs refused to bear
his weight, but he held on. Grabbing one of his master's robes,
he wrapped it around his naked body and headed for the door.
It seemed to take forever as he made his way slowly across the
Temple. He had to told onto the wall for support as he pushed
onward. He stumbled painfully, but forced himself back up
again. The Temple floor was like ice on his bare feet, but he
did not care. At last he made it to the gardens.
He knew his master would be in his private spot. It was well
secluded and would give him the privacy needed. Obi-Wan made
his way there as quickly as he could. The sense that he was out
of time driving him forward even as his body cried out to rest.
The image that greeted him when he stepped into the small area
that was his master's almost stopped his heart. Qui-Gon knelt
on the soft grass, tears running unchecked down his face as he
held Obi-Wan's own lightsaber to his breast. Obi-Wan watched as
his master moved his hand to activate the blade. In two swift
strides, the young apprentice was by his side, reaching out to
cover his master's hand with his own.
Qui-Gon's eyes flew open as he felt a hand cover his own.
Startled blue eyes met green and he stared, uncomprehending, at
his padawan. He had been so lost in his meditation he had not
even felt it when his apprentice grew near.
Obi-Wan took his lightsaber from suddenly nerveless fingers
and, in one quick motion, brought it slamming down on the data
pad. Qui-Gon started at the sudden, violent action then watched
as his apprentice destroyed the small device completely. A sob
escaped him and he jerked Obi-Wan to him roughly. His arms
wrapped around the younger man tightly and he was surprised
when he felt the young man return the embrace. For long
moments, they stayed like that, holding and being held.
Finally, Qui-Gon pulled back and looked at his apprentice. The
green eyes, though still shuttered, were no longer vacant.
They stayed in the garden together for awhile longer. Each was
reluctant to release the other. When his knees began to protest
quite loudly, Qui-Gon let go and made his way rather stiffly to
his feet. He offered his hand to Obi-Wan and the young man took
it silently. Qui-Gon was becoming a bit disturbed by his
padawan's refusal to communicate, but he pushed it aside.
Obi-Wan just needed time to heal. They both needed time to
heal.
Holding his love's hand firmly in his own, Qui-Gon led them out
of the garden. Their first stop was at Master Yoda's. Qui-Gon
wanted to let his master know that Obi-Wan was recovering and
to discuss the role the healers were to play.
Yoda was surprised when his former padawan showed up at his
door. He was even more surprised to see the man's apprentice
with him. He had truly believed they had lost the boy, as had
the others. He was quite pleased to see they had not. The boy
was stronger than he thought. Or perhaps he just had something
worth coming back to.
Qui-Gon quietly informed his master of all that had happened,
even telling him of his decision to become one with the Force
in order to be with his apprentice.
"Apparently my apprentice had other ideas," Qui-Gon said with a
smile.
"Glad I am of that," Yoda responded. "Lose you, I do not want."
"You have not, my Master," Qui-Gon replied. "Will you inform
the others that Obi-Wan is recovering?"
"Yes. Yes. Inform them, I will," Yoda replied. "Glad to hear
this, Mace will be."
"Could you ask him to come by our quarters this evening?"
Qui-Gon asked upon hearing Mace's name. "There are some things
I'd like to say to him face to face."
"Yes. Tell him, I will. To see you, healers will come as well."
"They may see me, if they wish," Qui-Gon said. "But they will
not see Obi-Wan. They may examine him, but they will not try to
council him."
"Wise, this is not," Yoda said with a frown.
"They may council me, in Obi-Wan's presence," Qui-Gon stated
firmly. "I will council Obi-Wan myself. Until he is better,
until he is ready to face what all has happened."
"Hmmm. What say you to this, Obi-Wan?" Yoda asked, turning his
attention to the young man for the first time.
Obi-Wan tightened his grip on Qui-Gon's hand and looked to his
master. Qui-Gon understood the silent question in his eyes.
"I am sorry, my Master," Qui-Gon apologized. "Obi-Wan does not
wish to speak yet. In time he will, I am sure of it. But for
now, he does not wish to and I will honor that wish."
"Good, this is not," Yoda said thoughtfully.
"I know," Qui-Gon replied before turning to Obi-Wan. "Precious
One, how do you wish to do this? Do you wish to do it my way or
Master Yoda's?"
Obi-Wan looked back and forth between the two Jedi masters. He
knew they both wanted what was best for him. He was awed that
Qui-Gon left the decision up to him, that his master still
trusted him enough to decide his own fate. That same trust made
the decision. He trusted Qui-Gon above all others. His master
always knew what was best for him. He would follow Qui-Gon's
wishes on this. Without making a sound, the young Jedi moved
closer to his master, wrapping his free hand around the man's
biceps.
"Very well," Yoda intoned. He was not happy with the answer but
he was pleased that the young man was able to answer at all.
"But monitored closely, his progress will be. As long as no
worse he becomes, to you he will be left."
"Thank you, my Master," Qui-Gon said, bowing low. "Now, if you
will excuse us, I'd like to get Obi-Wan back to our quarters.
He's barely on his feet as it is."
"Go. Yes."
Qui-Gon bowed once more to his master then turned to leave. He
paused as he felt a slight resistance from Obi-Wan. He turned
to look at his padawan and felt tears sting his eyes as he
watched the young man bow to Yoda before turning to follow his
master.
"Welcome back, young one," Yoda whispered as the door closed
behind them.
Qui-Gon walked Obi-Wan back to their quarters as quickly as he
could. By the time they got there, he was all but carrying the
younger man. He escorted his apprentice straight to the
bedchamber, wanting to get him tucked back into bed as soon as
possible. Qui-Gon straightened the covers on the bed then went
to help Obi-Wan undress. He was surprised to find that the
young man was naked beneath his robe.
"You've been barefoot this whole time?" Qui-Gon asked, upset
more with himself for not noticing than Obi-Wan. He pulled his
now shivering padawan onto the big bed and tucked the covers
around him. He sat himself down at the end of the bed and began
to rub the blanket covered feet, hoping to warm them. Even
through the blanket he could feel how cold they were.
"You should have alerted me, Padawan," Qui-Gon admonished
gently. He had decided that he would treat Obi-Wan as close to
normal as possible. That included scolding him when he did
something foolish.
Obi-Wan made an abortive movement with his feet, but Qui-Gon
held onto them. He turned around on the bed and looked at his
padawan. Obi-Wan looked away from him, not wanting to meet the
man's eyes.
"Obi-Wan, look at me," Qui-Gon said and waited for the young
man to comply. "I know you do not wish to speak. I will respect
that wish for now. For Now. But you must alert me, in some way,
when there is something wrong. Even something as little as your
feet being cold. Promise me you will do that."
Qui-Gon waited, looking at his apprentice, watching the play of
emotions over the other man's face. Finally, Obi-Wan nodded his
agreement. It was enough. Qui-Gon would trust the young man to
keep his word.
All too soon, the door chimed. Qui-Gon knew it was the healers.
He had meant what he said to Yoda. He would allow them to
physically examine Obi-Wan but that was all. He would tend to
his padawan's care and needs. Besides that, he figured the
healers were going to have enough on their hands trying to help
him deal with everything that had happened without having to
worry about Obi-Wan as well.
Healers Trann and Va'Sal were waiting outside the door when
Qui-Gon answered. He smiled at their rather apprehensive looks
and welcomed them inside. He could not help but notice that the
two seemed a bit unsure of him and wondered if that was due to
their first session, the banishment, or Yoda's talk with them.
He suspected it was all of the above.
"Please, have a seat," Qui-Gon said as he walked them into the
common room. "Just let me check on Obi-Wan and I'll be with
you."
"We would like to examine your apprentice," Healer Trann said.
"If he feels up to it, that is," Va'Sal quickly put in.
"I would prefer if you waited until tomorrow, but I will ask
Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied as he headed toward the bedchamber.
"He is speaking?" Trann asked, the surprise in his voice
evident.
"No," Qui-Gon answered. "But that does not mean he is incapable
of making his wishes known. And those wishes will be
respected." The tone of his voice left little room for
argument. The two healers waited while Qui-Gon went to speak
with Obi-Wan. A moment later he emerged and motioned for them
to join him.
"Obi-Wan has consented to being examined," Qui-Gon said, a
trace of humor in his voice. "I believe he rather wishes to get
it over with."
"Quite understandable," Va'Sal commented.
The two healers stepped up to the bed and Trann reached down to
draw the blanket away. He was shocked to find the young man was
completely naked. His brown eyes fixed on Qui-Gon with
something akin to disgust.
"You do not even allow him clothing," he disdained only to find
himself suddenly flung against the far wall of the room.
Qui-Gon's eyes turned dark and stormy as he regarded the
healer.
"As I mentioned earlier, Obi-Wan is quite capable of making his
wishes known. Apparently he no longer wishes you anywhere near
him." The acid in those words cut deeply, but Trann would not
be put off.
"You take advantage of your position, Master Jinn," the
healer sneered.
A deep growling sound interrupted Qui-Gon's retort. The three
Jedi turned toward the sound only to find it coming from
Obi-Wan. The young man's green eyes were narrow slits as he
looked at the healer he held pinned to the wall.
"No, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon whispered soothingly. "Let him go. He is
no threat to us."
Obi-Wan looked to his master and saw only calm reassurance in
the man's eyes. Reluctantly, he released the force hold he had
on the healer. The small growling noise, however, did not
cease.
"Get him out of here," Qui-Gon instructed Va'Sal, but she was
already moving to do so. He sat down on the bed, ignoring the
looks from Trann and pulled his apprentice into his arms.
Obi-Wan was stiff but allowed himself to be held. Qui-Gon
pulled the blanket back up over him, lest he get chilled again,
and held him in his arms. He rubbed lazy circles into his back
until the growl began to fade. Only when it was gone altogether
did he stop.
"That one will not set foot back in here again, Padawan. I
promise you that," Qui-Gon said softly. Obi-Wan eased a bit at
those words. Qui-Gon continued to hold him as he waited for
Yoda to arrive. He had no doubt that the healers had gone
directly to his master, but that was as it should be. Neither
he nor Obi-Wan had done anything wrong and he would see to it
that Healer Trann never came near Obi-Wan again.
The door chimed again and Qui-Gon got up to answer it. Obi-Wan
gripped him hard around the waist, not wanting him to go.
Qui-Gon quietly disentangled him and went to answer the door.
As he had guessed, it was Yoda, along with Mace, Healer Va'Sal,
and Master Healer Tarsis. Qui-Gon ushered them inside and
motioned for them to follow him into the bedchamber.
Obi-Wan had lain back down and covered himself with the
blanket. He began to growl again when he saw Va'Sal, but
Qui-Gon quickly corrected him.
"No, Obi-Wan," he said. "Healer Va'Sal is not our enemy. Trann
is not here. There is no threat." The young apprentice looked
at his master for a moment, then stilled doing his best to
relax.
"If my presence is a bother to you, Obi-Wan, I will leave and
another may take my place," Va'Sal said to the young man. "I
wish only to help you and your master. Healer Trann's views are
not my own."
Obi-Wan looked at the woman for long moments. He stared at her
soft orange eyes and saw only compassion and a sincere desire
to help. He looked to Qui-Gon and nodded then held out his hand
toward her. She hesitated but a moment before walking forward
to take his hand in her own.
"There are things we need to discuss," the Master Healer broke
in. "Perhaps we should move to the other room."
"All right," Qui-Gon said. "If you would be so kind as to wait
for me there, I will assist my padawan in dressing and we will
join you."
"Do you not think it best to leave him out of this discussion?"
Master Tarsis asked, surprised by Qui-Gon's desire to have his
padawan present.
"Obi-Wan, do you wish to take part in this discussion?" Qui-Gon
asked. "After all, it directly concerns you." The young man
nodded once, his eyes narrowing at the thought of not being
allowed to take part in this.
"Then we shall await you in the other room, gentlemen," Va'Sal
said effectively ending the debate. The Master Healer might
take her to task for it later, but he would not do so here and
that was all she cared about at the moment.
Five minutes later, master and apprentice joined their guests
in the common room. Two spots had been left on the couch for
them and Qui-Gon smiled his thanks. They sat down side by side
and waited for the inquisition to begin.
"Healer Trann has made some very serious accusations," Master
Tarsis began.
"Of that, I have no doubt," Qui-Gon replied dryly.
"He claims you are forcing your apprentice into your bed
against his will. That you refuse him clothing, forcing him to
remain naked in your presence. Is this true?" Tarsis asked.
"No," Qui-Gon answered, his jaw clenching as he bit down on his
anger. This man was not his enemy, he told himself. He is
merely concerned for my padawan. I should be grateful.
"So your apprentice does not share your bed?" Tarsis continued.
"Yes, Obi-Wan shares my bed. And yes, he does so without
clothing," Qui-Gon said. "But he does NOT do so against his
will."
"Can you be sure of that, Master Jinn?" Tarsis questioned as
gently as he could. He did not think this man was intentionally
abusing his padawan, but considering the boy's fragile
emotional state, he had to make sure.
"Yes, I can," Qui-Gon answered. "But ask him yourself if you
doubt my word." The healer had hoped to avoid this. He did not
want to put the young man through a grueling cross examination,
but his master seemed determined. The healer had little choice.
"Obi-Wan, do you share your master's bed of your own free
will?" Tarsis asked, blunt and to the point.
A vigorous nod was the reply. The healer seemed skeptical and
was about to protest when Qui-Gon cut him off.
"He chooses not to speak at this time," Qui-Gon said firmly.
"It is his choice and we will honor it. You will accept his
answers in the form he chooses to give them to you or you may
leave."
"Accept them, we will," Yoda put in when the healer turned to
the ancient master for help.
"Very well," Tarsis said. "I see I have little choice in the
matter. Does your master force you to go naked in his
presence?"
An angry shake of the head was the reply. The soft growling
sound began again and Qui-Gon reached out to soothe the young
man as best he could. Obi-Wan definitely did not like it when
people accused his master of inappropriate behavior.
"Easy, Padawan," Qui-Gon said when the growling continued. "He
is not our enemy. He only seeks to ensure I do you no harm."
Hostile green eyes flashed to Qui-Gon screaming at the
injustice of anyone accusing his master of doing him harm.
"One last question?" Tarsis prompted. He waited for the young
man to nod his consent before continuing. "Why did you use the
Force against Healer Trann?"
Obi-Wan looked to Qui-Gon, his eyes still angry. But in that
look Qui-Gon could see his apprentice's answer. Taking a deep
breath, Qui-Gon answered for him.
"Because he attacked me," he said.
"He attacked you?" Tarsis repeated, confused.
"Yes," Qui-Gon replied. "He attacked my relationship with my
padawan. He accused me of improper conduct. Obi-Wan took that
accusation as an attack on me and interceded."
"Is this truly your answer, Obi-Wan?" Tarsis asked. A single
curt nod was the only reply.
"Are you satisfied now?" Qui-Gon asked, more than a little
irritated by the entire proceedings.
"Yes," the master replied. "It would seem your padawan is there
of his own free will. I sensed no coercion on your part and
Healer Va'Sal informed me that you were in a relationship prior
to all of this. I see no reason to believe that you are forcing
your apprentice into anything he does not want."
"Good," Qui-Gon said. He was glad that was done with. He knew
Yoda and Mace would have stood for him if it had come down to
it. He was just glad it had not.
"Accept Healer Va'Sal, you will, Obi-Wan?" Yoda asked.
Obi-Wan nodded again. His master trusted this one. He would
trust her as well.
"What say you, Qui-Gon?" Yoda questioned.
"Healer Va'Sal has been most helpful," he said. "I would
appreciate it if she would continue to work with us. But I will
not allow Healer Trann back in these quarters under any
circumstances."
"Agreed," Tarsis put in as he stood to leave. "I will speak
with him myself. He will be instructed not to come near either
you or your apprentice. He will also be instructed not to speak
of any of the things that have gone on here."
"Thank you, Master Tarsis," Qui-Gon said sincerely as he stood
and bowed to the healer. Both men were surprised when Obi-Wan
stood and bowed, too.
Healer Va'Sal took her leave of them as well, leaving the two
alone with Yoda and Mace. Qui-Gon could feel the fatigue
radiating off of his padawan and longed to tuck them both into
bed for the night. But there were things he still needed to
discuss with the two masters.
"Obi-Wan, why don't you go back to bed while I talk with Mace
and Yoda?" Qui-Gon suggested. The glare he got in reply showed
him exactly what his apprentice thought of that idea.
"Why don't you stretch out on the couch while your master fixes
you something to eat?" Mace suggested as he bit back a laugh.
Obi-Wan looked to the dark-skinned master and the briefest
smile flitted across his face before he nodded and moved to lay
down.
Qui-Gon shook his head and headed to the kitchen to fix his
apprentice something to eat, muttering something under his
breath about ganging up on him. Mace and Yoda both laughed,
knowing Obi-Wan needed no help when it came to getting Qui-Gon
Jinn to do exactly what he wanted.
"Come far you have, young one," Yoda said to Obi-Wan. "Farther
still, you have to go. Far to go, your master has, too."
"He still had to deal with his own pain, Obi-Wan," Mace put in.
"But do not fear, we will be there for him. And for you."
Qui-Gon came back a short while with steaming soup and bread
for his padawan. Obi-Wan had eaten precious little in the last
few days so Qui-Gon thought it best to start with light foods.
Qui-Gon helped Obi-Wan to eat then settled him back onto the
couch to rest. The three men talked of unimportant things as
Obi-Wan drifted in and out of sleep. They could not help but
smile as Qui-Gon's eyes kept drifting back to the couch to
check on the young man. It would be a long time before the Jedi
master felt confident enough to allow his padawan out of his
sight.
A few hours later, Yoda took his leave, telling his former
padawan he would see him tomorrow. Qui-Gon bid him goodnight
and rejoined Mace. There were things he wanted to say to the
other master, but for some reason he found himself unable to
begin.
"Yoda said you wanted to talk to me," Mace said, giving Qui-Gon
the opening.
"Yes," Qui-Gon said. "I wanted to thank you. And to apologize."
"No need for either," Mace said, knowing what his friend was
referring to.
"Yes, there is. I know it wasn't easy for you. You truly
believed he would not survive. And I didn't make it any easier.
I'm sorry for that," Qui-Gon said. He fell silent for a moment,
remembering that horrible time.
"I also wanted to thank you for doing what you knew was right.
And for the support you gave me. When that thing offered...
well, I was more than a little tempted," Qui-Gon trailed off
again, his eyes going distant with remembrance.
"I know," Mace said. "And I don't blame you. If I had been in
your place, I don't know if I'd have had the strength to
refuse."
"I didn't," Qui-Gon replied. "If not for you... Force help me,
I would have..."
"I know," Mace said again. "It's over now. Let it go, my
friend. You have enough to worry about right now as it is."
"Have I ever told you that you have a gift for understatement?"
Qui-Gon remarked drolly.
"Are you sure you don't have me confused with Master Yoda?"
Mace came back and both men laughed.
Healer Va'Sal came each morning just after breakfast at
Qui-Gon's request. He wanted as much uninterrupted time with
Obi-Was as possible. As Va'Sal had suggested before, they
started with how Qui-Gon was dealing with what had been done to
Obi-Wan. She knew the man had a great deal of his own pain to
come to grips with but she let that rest for now. First, let
him accept and deal with his padawan's pain. Only then could he
effectively deal with his own.
The worst was the man's sense of guilt over what happened.
Being the Jedi master that he was, he blamed himself for not
realizing the danger Obi-Wan was in. The entire time he had
been held captive he had been terrified of failing, terrified
of not being able to free his apprentice. And terrified of how
Obi-Wan was going to deal with everything he was made witness
to.
Va'Sal quickly found out, that while Qui-Gon would readily talk
about the physical pain he suffered, he tended to clam up when
it came to the humiliations. He refused to even think about the
rape.
"You have to talk about it, Qui-Gon," she said calmly.
"No, I do not," he argued stubbornly.
"And just how do you expect to help Obi-Wan with these issues
if you refuse to even think about them, let alone discuss
them?" she asked, pushing the issue. He had run from this long
enough.
"What do you want from me!" he demanded angrily. Va'Sal forced
herself not to smile at his outburst. Finally, she was getting
through.
"I want you to sit down and talk to me," the healer said
gently. "I want you to tell me what you felt inside then, what
you feel inside now, and what you want to feel when this is all
over."
"Fine!" Qui-Gon practically shouted as he threw himself into
the nearest chair. He was glad Yoda had taken Obi-Wan to the
gardens today. The young man did not need to see his master
like this.
"Talk to me, Qui-Gon," Va'Sal prompted.
"You want to hear how I felt? You want to hear how I felt with
his piss running down my face? Or how about when he forced it
down my throat then made me thank him?" he hisgged, bleeding
wounds. I do not believe I have ever felt so hopeless in my
life."
"And how do you feel now?" Va'Sal asked when he fell silent.
"Right now? Like I've been trampled by a tauntaun," he snorted.
"I don't... I don't think I know HOW I feel right now. I feel
hope. Hope that Obi will recover. Hope that I'll recover, that
we'll get back to where we were before."
"Do you still feel helpless? Beaten?" she queried.
"Beaten? No," he answered firmly. "It came close, closer than
anyone or anything ever has before, but it didn't beat me. And
don't think I don't know that I only have Obi-Wan to thank for
that. As for helpless, that depends on what we're talking
about. Where Obi's concerned, I still feel a bit helpless, like
I can't reach him, won't be able to help him heal from this."
"Understandable," she said. "I feel much the same myself, where
you're concerned."
Qui-Gon's head came up sharply and blue eyes locked onto
orange. The same tender compassion from their first session
together was reflected back. But a new determination shown as
well along with some small amount of affection.
"Do you really think you can? Help me... us... heal from this?"
he asked, finally giving voice to one of his deepest fears of
late.
"Yes, I do," she answered simply and he felt the vice on his
heart lessen just a bit.
"Yoda would not be pleased at my inability to deal with my
fears," Qui-Gon mused.
"Master Yoda has never been raped and tortured. Nor has he been
forced to watch his beloved padawan being abused," Va'Sal
stated flatly. She had the utmost respect for Master Yoda, but
if he expected this man to feel no residual fear or anger over
this, then he was in for quite a disappointment.
"Fear leads to anger..." Qui-Gon began only to be abruptly cut
off.
"Bugger that!" Va'Sal's voice almost angry. "Your fear is
natural, as is your anger and even your hate where the creature
is concerned. And none of them are going to lead you anywhere
near the Dark Side."
"I try not to think about it," Qui-Gon whispered, seemingly to
himself. His face was turned away, staring intently at the
wall. Va'Sal had come to notice that the particularly painful
confessions given this way. She did not push. In time, he would
look her in the eye as he spoke.
"Try not to think about what?" she asked.
"Any of it really," he said. "I get... upset. Obi feels it
through our bond and he gets upset. So, I try not to think
about it."
"Maybe you should try explaining it to him instead," she
offered. "Let him know what it is you're thinking about and why
you're upset."
"I tried that. He still blames himself, doesn't understand how
I can not see him as the one that... hurt... me. Whenever I
bring it up, he starts to withdraw." Va'Sal could see how
difficult this was on the Jedi master. He was trying to heal
himself while at the same time trying desperately to heal his
padawan.
"Perhaps I could have a talk with him," Va'Sal suggested.
"Explain to him that you - need - to think about what happened
so you can make your peace with it. Let him know that you truly
do not blame him, that it's not all just pretty words said to
make him feel better."
"I don't know," Qui-Gon said. "After Trann..."
"How about if you're nearby?" she asked. "Close enough so he
can feel you, but out of sight? Master Yoda could accompany me
as well. I know Obi-Wan feels safe in his presence."
"I'm willing to try. But if he starts to get agitated..."
"Qui-Gon, he's going to get agitated. There's no way around
that. But I am a trained healer and Master Yoda will be with me
as well. If he starts to get too agitated, I'll stop," she
promised.
"All right," he agreed. "Perhaps it will help. I doubt if it
will hurt any."
"Excellent," she said with a smile. "We've made some real
progress today."
"That must be why I feel so drained," he said dryly.
"Very funny, Master Jinn," came the reply. "When did you want
me to talk to Obi-Wan?"
"Why not get it over with," he said. "When Yoda brings him
back, I'll just step out for a few minutes."
"Very well," she agreed and paused. "You know, Qui-Gon, for all
we've talked about today, you still avoided the whole issue of
the rape."
"I know," he said. "Give me a little longer, Va. Okay?"
"Of course. Just as long as you understand that we ARE going to
talk about it." Orange eyes clashed with blue and Qui-Gon
realized that she would not let this rest, not let him rest,
until they had talked it through. The healer in her would take
no chance on leaving this wound to fester.
"Now," she continued. "When they get back, I suggest you
explain to Obi that Yoda and I wish to speak with him. I'll
bring Master Yoda up to speed. You can wait just outside the
door, that way he can still feel your presence but won't know
if you're in ear-shot or not."
"Sounds good," he said.
"Here comes the hard part. I don't want you to come back into
the room unless Yoda or I direct you to," she instructed. "Can
you do that?"
"If I have to," he replied as honestly as he could. "I won't
like it, but I think I can manage."
Their conversation was interrupted by the door opening. Yoda
and Obi-Wan walked slowly into the room. Obi-Wan smiled at his
master and the healer then moved to Qui-Gon's side. The Jedi
master quickly rose and engulfed his apprentice in a tight hug.
Releasing the other man, Qui-Gon led him over to the other side
of the room, leaving Va'Sal and Yoda alone to talk. Qui-Gon
explained that the healer wanted to talk to Obi alone for a few
minutes and that he would be right back. The look of fear that
flitted across his padawan's face tugged at Qui-Gon's heart but
he squelched his sympathy. He assured the young man that Master
Yoda would be with him and Obi-Wan relaxed. It looked like his
padawan trusted the ancient master quite a bit.
While Qui-Gon talked to Obi-Wan, Va'Sal brought Yoda up to date
on the situation. She explained Qui-Gon's inability to talk
with Obi-Wan about what happened and her intention to let the
young man know that this was hurting his master. She firmly
believed that once the apprentice learned that his master well
and truly did not blame him for any of what happened, his
anxiety about discussing it would lessen.
Master Yoda listened to the healer's plan, nodding here and
there as she spoke. It was a good plan, though the danger was
great. For all of his strength, the boy was still fragile. Very
carefully, would they have to tread.
Qui-Gon walked Obi-Wan over to the couch and sat him down
beside Master Yoda. Obi-Wan gripped his hand tightly before
letting his master go. He knew Qui-Gon wanted him to do this,
to try and be strong. He hated being such a burden to the other
man, so frightened and needy all the time. And he knew Qui-Gon
could feel his emotions through their bond.
The fact that he could feel that his master was still near,
even if not present, helped to relax the young man further. The
closer his master was, the sooner they could be together again.
These days, Obi-Wan lived simply to be in his master's
presence. The nights where he lay curled up along Qui-Gon's
side, wrapped around the older man, were like a soothing balm
to the shredded remnants of his soul.
Va'Sal and Yoda waited and watched while the young apprentice
forced himself to relax. The healer wanted to ask what it was
he was thinking of that brought such a look of serenity to his
face, but decided now was not the time. With a last look to
Yoda, the healer spoke.
"I wanted to talk to you about your master, Obi-Wan," she
began. The young man immediately tensed, his eyes narrowing and
Va'Sal hastened to reassure him. "It's nothing bad, really.
Nothing he or you have done wrong."
"Listen, you must," Yoda said gently and lay a small green hand
on the young man's knee. The simple gesture of affection calmed
him and he relaxed again.
"Qui-Gon needs your help," she said, knowing full well that
there was nothing this man would not do for his master. "He's
having a difficult time with talking about some of the things
the creature did to him. He tells me that whenever he tries to
work through them you tend to become upset so he stops."
Obi-Wan looked away. It was true. Whenever Qui-Gon thought
about what happened on Veygra, Obi-Wan became more and more
agitated until Qui-Gon stopped. He just could not stand his
master remembering what the creature had forced him to do.
"That's the problem, you see," she continued. "He had to think
about it, has to work through it, if he's ever going to heal. I
know you want him to get past this. I know you want him to
heal, to be the man he was again. Only you can help him do
that, Obi-Wan. Only you."
Yoda watched, almost biting his tongue to remain silent.
Obi-Wan grew more and more agitated as Va'Sal spoke. Her words
were having quite an effect on the young man. And not a good
one.
"Do you know the thing that hurts him the most?" she asked. She
waited until his eyes met hers again.
"It's the fact that you don't believe him," she answered. "You
don't believe him when he says that he never saw you, only the
creature. It tears his heart out to know you blame yourself, to
know that you think he could have ever mistaken that
abomination for his own padawan."
Obi-Wan was openly crying now and Va'Sal could feel Qui-Gon
begging for her to stop. Yoda looked to the healer but she
shook her head no. She rushed on quickly, knowing Qui-Gon was
only a heartbeat away from coming back inside, agreement be
damned.
"Do you remember what he told you, Obi-Wan?" she asked quietly.
"Do you remember what he said to you when he held you, before
the Banishment? He said, 'I may have called it master, but I
never called it Obi-Wan.'"
//Master!// Obi-Wan cried into their bond as he began to sob.
Great wracking sobs tore their way out of his body. Yoda and
Va'Sal immediately threw up shields to try to contain the
overwhelming pain that flowed outward from the young man before
them.
A brief moment later and Qui-Gon was there pulling his
trembling padawan into his arms. He stroked Obi-Wan's back and
felt tears fill his own eyes at the depths of the young man's
pain. He berated himself for listening to Va'Sal. He had known
better than to let anyone near his Precious One.
//I believe you now, Master.//
Qui-Gon froze. He had put Obi-Wan's first frantic cry down as
pure panic. But the soft voice in his head was anything but
frantic now. Tear-filled green eyes looked up into astonished
blue ones. This was the first Obi-Wan had "spoken" since this
nightmare began.
"Oh, Precious One," Qui-Gon breathed as tears ran down his own
face. "I have so missed the sound of your thoughts."
Yoda and Va'Sal understood then. Obi-Wan had spoken to Qui-Gon
with his mind. Another step had been taken. Va'Sal felt her own
eyes fill with tears and quickly blinked them away. It was very
difficult not to get caught up in all the emotions swirling
around these two. Even Yoda seemed a bit affected by it all.
//Va'Sal says you need to work through what... what was done...
to you. That I'm making it worse.//
"No, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said quickly. "You could never make it
worse. You are the only thing that keeps me going some days.
But Va'Sal does believe that for me to truly heal, to truly put
this behind me, I have to come to terms with what transpired."
//I can not help what I feel when you remember what I... what
was done. But I will do my best. You must do as the healer
advises. She has helped you much already.//
"I have no wish to cause you pain. You have had more than your
share of it and I will not be party to causing you more."
Qui-Gon continued to speak out loud. He hoped by doing so he
would encourage Obi-Wan to as well. And this way, he did not
have to relay the entire conversation to his master and the
healer. They should be able to piece it together from his end
of things.
//More than anything, Master, I want you to be well. I want you
to be whole again. Even more than I want to be whole again
myself. If I must bear a little pain in order for you to heal,
then I welcome it.//
"Obi-Wan..." Qui-Gon began but he could already see this battle
was lost.
//Please, Qui-Gon. I believe it will help me as well. I...
I...//
"What, love?"
//I want so badly to have back what we had, what we were
beginning to have. I love you. That has not changed, nor will
it ever. But...//
"But?" Qui-Gon prompted again.
//But I despair that we will ever be lovers. I know you love
me. But I do not see how you could ever want me to touch you,
how you could find my touch as anything other than abhorrent.//
"Don't you EVER say that to me again!" Qui-Gon shouted. His
eyes had gone so dark they almost appeared black. Obi-Wan could
see the anger in his eyes even as he felt it radiating through
their bond.
"Qui-Gon!" Va'Sal cried out, jumping to her feet. The Jedi
master's sudden angry outburst frightened her.
"And what said he to anger you so?" Yoda asked calmly, never
moving from his seat on the couch. Obi-Wan tried to turn his
face away from Qui-Gon's but the man's strong grip on his chin
prevented it.
"You say you believe me," Qui-Gon said to Obi-Wan, ignoring
Yoda's question. "That you believe that I saw only the
creature. Yet you turn around and tell me I should find your
touch abhorrent!"
Obi-Wan began to tremble as Qui-Gon held him. He had made his
master so angry and he did not mean to. Qui-Gon was so good to
him, took care of him, loved him. He was all Obi-Wan had left.
He did not know what he would do if Qui-Gon cast him away.
The young man's fears traveled easily across their bond and
Qui-Gon reeled under the force of them. He could feel his
padawan shaking in his arms. Obi-Wan's fear and panic quickly
drove most of the anger from the man and Qui-Gon once again
began to soothe his apprentice.
"This is not going well at all," Qui-Gon muttered as he sent
feelings of peace and love across their bond.
"On the contrary," Va'Sal said, a small smile playing at her
lips. "Things are going quite well."
"Go we will now," Yoda said as he got up from the couch. "Talk
you should. Understand your fears you must."
"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon said.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Va'Sal said as she followed Yoda to
the door.
"Thank you," Qui-Gon replied.
Another month passed before Qui-Gon could bring himself to talk
about the rape. He and Va'Sal spend two weeks discussing it. In
detail. He came to realize that the thing that hurt him the
most was not the shameful begging he had been forced to do. It
was the fact that this act was being taken from them. Even if
it was not Obi-Wan, it still hurt to have the gift he would
have given to his padawan ripped from them.
Obi-Wan continued to improve during this time. He was coming to
terms with what he had been forced to watch. He had thought his
master broken by the creature and that had wounded him more
than anything else. To see his master, broken and begging for
mercy, knowing none would come was devastating to the young
man. But slowly, he accepted it. He came to realize he was
wrong. His master had not broken, though he had come
dangerously close. Obi-Wan vowed that he would protect this man
for the rest of his life, and beyond if he could manage it.
The one thing that frustrated him the most was his master's
refusal to let their relationship evolve any further. He could
tell the man wanted to, just as Qui-Gon could tell that he
himself longed for more. The night time cuddling was wonderful,
and they were more than affectionate with one another, but
Qui-Gon refused to let it go beyond kissing. And not very deep
kissing at that. Finally, frustrated beyond belief by yet
another dream of his master, Obi-Wan challenged him.
//Why?// he demanded, his thought-voice surly.
"Why what, Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked, knowing full well what his
apprentice meant. He had felt the man's arousal while he dreamt
and had a good idea where this was going. Maybe it was time.
//Why will you not allow our relationship to progress?//
"As I told you before, Obi-Wan, I will not do this at your
expense," Qui-Gon answered. Obi-Wan just stared at him. Was he
serious? How in all the hells could he think this would be at
his - expense - ?
//WHAT are you talking about?// he practically shouted into
their bond.
"When you can come to me, well and whole, then I will consider
it," Qui-Gon said firmly, his face set. "Not before."
//I am!//
"Do you not realize how badly I long to hear your voice? How
much I miss it? How I despair that I will never hear it again?
Do you?" Qui-Gon asked softly, his voice suddenly very tired.
Obi-Wan understood what Qui-Gon was saying then. He would not
even consider deepening their relationship until Obi-Wan spoke.
It was his last defense, the last wall he hid behind. And
Qui-Gon knew it. The Jedi master was leaving the decision to
him. What was more important to him - his shield or their love?
"M... Ma... Mas... ter?" Obi-Wan stammered. His mouth seemed
thick and clumsily as if it did not remember how to make the
word after months of disuse.
Qui-Gon closed his eyes at the sound he thought he would never
hear again. His heart sang as the last band loosened and fell
away allowing it to beat fully for the first time in what
seemed like forever. The Jedi master opened his arms and his
apprentice almost flew into them. They held each other as their
tears came yet again. Both men wondered if there would ever
come a time when they did not cry at the drop of a hat.
"And I you, my Precious One," he replied as he leaned his head
down and sealed his mouth over his lover's.
Obi-Wan arched up into the kiss and was startled to feel
Qui-Gon's tongue gently brush against his lips. He opened them
and was rewarded by the feel of that same tongue stroking his
own as it explored his mouth. With a strangled shout, Obi-Wan
thrust his hips against Qui-Gon and came, the orgasm taking him
so by surprise he would have collapsed if his lover had not
held him up.
Qui-Gon felt his lover's climax and gripped the younger man
tightly. He felt Obi-Wan's legs start to buckle and used the
Force to help hold him upright. He swallowed the cries of
pleasure as he continued to drink in the taste of his lover. Oh
how he had longed for this!
Reluctantly, the need for air forced them apart. Obi-Wan
blushed, rather ashamed of his lack of control, but Qui-Gon
merely smiled and sent a cresting wave of reassurance along
their bond.
"A beautiful young lover that comes from my kisses alone," he
teased. "What a boost to an old man's ego you are."
"Not... old..." Obi-Wan rasped out.
"No more," Qui-Gon said, covering his lips with his fingers.
"Let your voice rest a bit."
//First you want me to talk. Now you don't. I do so wish you
would make up your mind, my Master.//
"Brat," Qui-Gon laughed. He stroked Obi-Wan's cheek and the
other man leaned into the caress. "I remember you wanted to
take things slowly, my Precious One. I would still like to."
//As you wish, Qui-Gon. I understand your wish to make sure I
will have no regrets. Let me assure you now. You are the other
half of my soul. So long as we are together, I will have no
regrets.//
"Oh, Precious One..."
//However, I would like to get out of these, um, sticky
leggings.//
"All right," Qui-Gon laughed. "Why don't you go clean up, then
join me in the bedroom."
//I thought you wanted to take things slowly?//
"I do," he laughed again. "I thought we might lie together for
a bit."
//I would like that.//
Obi-Wan stood and walked to the fresher to clean up. Qui-Gon
watched him go, finally allowing himself to see just watch the
man's body move. He had refused himself this simple pleasure
while Obi-Wan was recovering. It was too easy to take
advantage, too easy to overstep the boundaries of what was
right. But not anymore. Now he could look all he wanted. And
touch. And taste. And...
They lay in the bed, naked, Qui-Gon on his back and Obi-Wan
curled around him. The young man rested his head on his
master's chest. Slowly, he began to run his hand over the vast
expanse of chest and stomach before him. It felt so good, so
right, to touch his master this way. It was as if the last tear
in his soul was finally mending.
Qui-Gon felt his body start to respond. His first instinct was
to squelch his desire, but he realized he no longer had to.
With a sigh, he let the feelings wash over him.
The Jedi master's cock began to harden as Obi-Wan brushed his
hand over then man's flat stomach. He let his fingers brush
just the top of the nest of dark curls before moving upward
again. Qui-Gon moaned as that hand caressed first one nipple
then the other until they were stiff peaks on his chest.
"I thought... thought we were... were taking things, um,
slowly," Qui-Gon managed just before Obi-Wan bent his head down
and took one swollen peak into his mouth. Qui-Gon moaned and
began to writhe as the young man suckled gently.
//Don't you think we've wasted enough time? I want you. I want
to make love to you. I want to feel you inside me, hot and hard
and real.//
"Yesss..." Qui-Gon hissed. His desire to take things slowly
vanishing. He tried to push Obi-Wan off of him some, to allow
him to reach the other man better, but was stopped.
//Not this time. This first time, let me make love to you,
Qui-Gon. Let me take away every hateful act that thing did.//
"Yes, my Precious One," he said.
Obi-Wan raised up on his elbow and looked down into the face of
the man he loved. Passion-filled blue eyes gazed back at him.
The love shining in those eyes threatened to undo him and he
quickly looked away, taking in the sight of Qui-Gon's body,
naked and aroused, instead. And what a sight it was. Spread out
on his back, body flushed with desire, proud cock straining
with need, it was a feast for his eyes.
He indulged himself for a moment before rolling away from his
lover to kneel on the bed. He motioned for Qui-Gon to move to
the center and waited for him to comply. Obi-Wan's own cock was
hard now and he watched as his master eyed him appreciatively.
Once Qui-Gon was settled on his back once more, Obi-Wan moved
to kneel beside him. He slowly brought his lips down and kissed
his lover deeply. This time, Qui-Gon held back, letting Obi-Wan
take the lead. He was rewarded by the feel of the man's soft
tongue thrusting into his mouth, stroking his own.
Obi-Wan spent long minutes kissing his master, mapping the
other man's mouth, drinking in the taste of him. He ruthlessly
ignored his own arousal. He would not rush this. No matter how
much his body screamed for release, he would not rush this.
This would be their first time and he was determined to make it
as perfect for Qui-Gon as possible.
Qui-Gon moaned into the scalding mouth fastened to his. The
soft, delicate stroking of tongue on tongue was driving him
insane. Was the boy going to spend the entire night just
kissing him? He ached to pull Obi down and ravish him, but he
restrained himself. This was for his lover, too. And if his
lover wanted to drive him to the edge of sanity with his kisses
alone, Qui-Gon would let him.
At last, Obi-Wan broke away from his lover's mouth and began to
move downward. Qui-Gon cried out at the sudden loss, but the
cry quickly turned to a groan of pleasure as that talented
mouth fastened onto his neck, then trailed lazily down to his
chest. He could not keep himself from arching into the touch as
Obi clampled his mouth over one sensitive nipple while bringing
his hand up to pinch and caress the other.
Obi-Wan kept up his assault on Qui-Gon's chest until he felt
the pleasure slide toward pain. Reluctantly, he pulled away and
began to rain kisses down upon the man's stomach. With
deliberate care, he kissed, licked, and nipped his way across
the tight muscles.
Qui-Gon was emitting an almost constant moaning sound. Obi-Wan
smiled as he continued his downward journey. Qui-Gon inhaled
sharply and his body went rigid as Obi-Wan began to lave his
navel. No one had ever done that to him before and the
sensation alone almost made him come.
"Pad... padawan... Obi... please!" Qui-Gon groaned, his head
thrashing from side to side in an effort not to come, not to
disappoint his love.
//Perhaps we should take the edge off for you, beloved.//
Qui-Gon registered the voice in his head a split second before
Obi-Wan's mouth descended on his cock. The Jedi master screamed
as that hot wet mouth covered the head of his hard and leaking
penis. He bucked up hard, thrusting deeply into the young man's
mouth. Obi-Wan gripped his hips and forced the man back down
onto the bed.
Holding Qui-Gon down, Obi-Wan began to suck. He moved his mouth
quickly up and down the throbbing shaft. He could taste the
pre-cum that flowed from the head and thought he had never
tasted anything sweeter. He pulled back until only the head
remained inside his mouth then swirled his tongue around it
before sinking back down quickly. Qui-Gon tried to thrust
upward again, but Obi-Wan held him in place.
All too soon, it was over. Qui-Gon cried out his release as he
came inside his padawan's mouth. Obi-Wan swallowed as fast as
he could, doing his best to keep the salty fluid from escaping.
He held his master's cock in his mouth until it began to go
soft. Only then did he release it to gently lick away the drops
that had slipped from his mouth.
Satisfied his master was clean, Obi-Wan moved back up to lay
beside him. Qui-Gon pulled him close and kissed him deeply,
savoring the taste of his cum in his lover's mouth. Qui-Gon
released him and Obi-Wan settled down beside him, his head on
his master's chest once more. Qui-Gon gave a contented sigh and
smiled as he felt his young love's own arousal poking him in
the thigh.
"What about you?" Qui-Gon asked softly.
//It will keep.//
"Obi..."
//It will keep, beloved. Rest now. We have time.//
"Yes, my Precious One," Qui-Gon said as he drifted toward
sleep. "We have all the time in the universe."
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