Summary: Some down-time set in the JA universe. In this one,
Qui-Gon tries to resurrect an old hobby.
Spoilers: Vague ones for JA#5 on.
Warnings: None.
Archive: M&A please. Padawan Journals, Early Years,
Wolfie's Den if wanted.
Disclaimer: Qui and Obi aren't mine. Neither is the JA
universe, although I love playing in it from time to time.
Acknowledgements: Beta thanks to the wonderful Pumpkin!!
Author's Comments: Ok, ok. So I felt like hitting Qui-Gon over
the head with a brick in these last two postcards. <g>
This is it, I promise. No more stubborn Qui after this one (for
a while, anyway!)
Qui-Gon regarded the overgrown flower garden with sad
resignation. He'd neglected this little patch of ground for so
long that the weeds had spread wildly, choking out most of the
other plants that had been so carefully cultivated. Here and
there a lone plant survived, holding on tenaciously despite the
overgrowth. He was vaguely surprised that one of the other
masters or knights in residence hadn't requested to care for
the greenhouse in his absence. He had not expected to find his
little sanctuary in such unkempt condition.
Xanatos had ridiculed him for tending the garden. The young
apprentice had thought it to be a waste of time; an activity
not worthy of a Jedi master. Of his master. Of course,
that had been one of Xan's problems. He'd thought
everything was beneath him. Qui-Gon had not recognized
it at the time. He'd just let the comments slide by, as he did
with most of Xan's remarks. He'd thought that as the boy grew
maturity would eventually overcome such youthful arrogance. He
had been wrong.
With a sigh, banishing any thoughts of "might-have-been's",
Qui-Gon began half-heartedly digging up a few weeds. It was
difficult to become enthusiastic about this hobby again. The
memory of Xanatos standing behind him, making casual comments
took the joy away. It hurt to see the garden in this condition,
though. It had once been well-loved and well-cared for.
Some time had gone by when a sound from behind made Qui-Gon
stiffen. Thoughts of the past had made him edgy, and when he
turned to identify the intruder, he was fully on guard.
So much so that his expression made the trespasser take a full
step back, hiding his or her identity in the shadows beyond the
greenhouse doorway.
Qui-Gon's eyes focused on the darkness, and he could now feel
the Force signature of the individual. "Obi-Wan?" he called
gently, his expression softening.
The boy stepped from the darkness, squinting as the brightness
of the greenhouse highlighted his youthful face. "Master?"
Obi-Wan's voice sounded confused, and Qui-Gon realized he had
badly startled his padawan.
"Come in, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon urged.
The padawan took another tentative step inside. "I...I'm sorry
I startled you, Master," he apologized, not meeting Qui-Gon's
gaze.
"It's all right, Obi-Wan. I didn't realize it was you, at
first." Qui-Gon's expression grew thoughtful. "What are you
doing here? I thought when I gave you the afternoon off, you'd
be spending it with your friends."
Obi-Wan shrugged and traced a line in the dirt with his foot,
not answering.
Qui-Gon frowned. Had he really frightened the boy so badly that
now Obi-Wan was afraid to speak to him? His and Obi-Wan's
relationship was so new that it was often difficult to
interpret his padawan's actions or expressions. Their
partnership had been better before Melida-Daan, but only
marginally. They'd been rebuilding the trust between them ever
since, and although the hard feelings had been resolved, they
still appeared to walk a fine line that neither seemed eager to
cross.
Qui-Gon knew something had to be done about the situation, but
he also knew that he could not rush things. Still, seeing the
boy lurking in the doorway like that brought back memories
better left banished.
Obi-Wan seemed to brighten a bit upon hearing his title and
slowly ventured closer.
"What are you doing, Master?" he asked shyly.
Qui-Gon smiled sadly and gestured at the jungle of weeds. "This
used to be a hobby of mine. I have not tended to it in a long
time, and I'm afraid things have gotten out of hand."
Obi-Wan regarded the somewhat pathetic little garden with a
guarded expression. "Why?"
Qui-Gon started at that. So, Obi-Wan would question him on
this, also. He sighed, feeling the old doubts and old wounds
surface again. He remembered explaining himself to another
padawan, in another time, but in the same place. "I like
gardening, Padawan," he began almost by rote, but with a touch
of anger. "It helps me to relax, to..."
"No, Master," Obi-Wan interrupted. "I understand those things.
I mean, it feels right." He glanced at Qui-Gon, and seeing
questions in his eyes, added, "This place, I mean. It... I can
feel the Living Force around us. It's like you belong here.
What I meant was, why did you stop coming here?"
Qui-Gon stared at his apprentice for a long moment. Obi-Wan
shifted his weight from one foot to the other, seeming unnerved
by his master's silent regard. Actually, the boy looked almost
ready to run, Qui-Gon realized with a pang of guilt. He spoke
quickly then, suddenly worried that Obi-Wan would bolt from the
room if he did not speak soon.
"I started this garden when Xanatos was your age," he explained
gently. "It gave me a quiet place to come to when I wanted to
think in ways other than through meditation."
Obi-Wan nodded, as if he understood how this could be so.
Qui-Gon smiled sadly at him before continuing. "Unfortunately,
this place reminds me a lot of those times. After Xanatos
turned, I found it impossible to return here. It made me think
of things that I'd rather have forgotten."
Obi-Wan was quiet for a long moment. Kneeling next to his
master, he leaned forward to trace a finger thoughtfully over
one of the broad plant leaves. "How can you tell which are the
weeds and which are the plants, Master?" he finally asked,
changing the subject rather abruptly. "I mean, most of these
have flowers," he continued. "How can you tell which ones you
want to keep?"
Qui-Gon studied the garden. Obi-Wan's words were true. The
weeds had flowers, also. Some were even brighter than the
annuals he had purposely put here for color so long ago. "See
this one, Obi-Wan?" he asked finally, pointing. "This plant has
large flowers, and is very bright. You might be fooled into
thinking this was planted here for a reason. But truthfully, it
is a weed. It may be beautiful, but the roots underneath are
spreading unseen, choking the life from the other plants. It is
not living in harmony with them. If it has its way, it will
crowd out all the others until only it remains."
Obi-Wan nodded, understanding. "These little flowers here," he
commented as he pointed to one of the few barely surviving
annuals. "They seem very delicate. Not as bright as the ones
you just showed me. But you planted this one, didn't you,
Master? This is not a weed. You would have to take special care
of it for it to grow more, though. It won't crowd out the
others for its own purposes, will it? It would just wither and
die, instead."
Qui-Gon nodded slowly. He was no longer certain what they were
talking about. The conversation had taken deeper meaning, for
Qui-Gon at least. He was not certain if Obi-Wan thought they
were merely discussing gardening or not. The boy's eyes were
bright and his expression thoughtful as he studied the
greenhouse.
"Would it be all right if I helped you, Master?" Obi-Wan asked
shyly, blushing a little. "If you explained to me what to do, I
think I could help."
Qui-Gon studied the boy. He was struck by the differences
between his former and current apprentices. How could he ever
have thought to look for Xanatos' cloying darkness in the
bright spirit kneeling next to him?
Obi-Wan was watching him nervously, and as the Force flowed
between them, he could feel the boy's fear of rejection.
Qui-Gon shook himself out of his daze and placed a gentle hand
on Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"I'd like that very much, my Padawan," he said, smiling warmly.
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