RATING: NC-17 in places [this one IS firmly slash.
Obi-Wan is eighteen.]
PAIRING(S): Q/O, Q/Others, O/Other
SPOILERS: For Jedi Apprentice books (Scholastic), esp. #5,
"Defenders of the Dead"
SERIES: The Oraclyne Series, of which there will be more
stories written later that take place before or after this
story
DISCLAIMER: George owns the characters and gets all the money.
I only get pleasure from this. <g>
FEEDBACK: Positive feedback on or offlist appreciated.
E-MAIL: peacewind@home.com
ARCHIVE: Yes, please, with e-mail addy to M_A archive only
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please do read "A More Certain Path" before
reading this, as it sets up important parameters for the
relationships, etc. Even if you have not read "Defenders of the
Dead", I believe I give enough of the gist of it in "A More
Certain Path" anyway.
THANKS: To my beloved Padawan, Kaiburr, for being there and
faithfully allowing me to daily inflict tortures and wicked
teasing upon her poor mind so that our listsibs may have more
to enjoy. Kai, my dear, you are JUST the best! Thanks also to
those who responded to my "Itch" inquiry onlist. Thanks also to
Master Kimdy for the insightful "concept beta", too!
CASTING NOTES: Picture Gabriel Byrne (in "The Man in the Iron
Mask") as Master Healer Makol' Windsailor. (Both Makol' and
Maki' are pronounced with the accent on the second syllable.)
For Jil-Ba Rendovar, picture Geraint Wyn-Davies (Forever
Knight) with the good hair extensions as in third season ep
flashback, "Trophy Girl". Other castings as I think of them.
SUMMARY: An accident while on mission initiates a chain of
events that not only draw Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan together in an
unexpected and startling way, but sets them on a path to change
their lives forever.
Note: The Appendices "flesh out" this universe a bit better.
Consider this a prose prologue explaining some vital concepts
for the reader. <g> I.e. these are NOT after-thoughts.
<g> To follow this post.
Appendix A: *Jedi Disciplines*
(colors indicated are for robes/tunics) The Jedi Order is
comprised of Four Disciplines or areas of special
concentration. All Knights must have training in all four
disciplines, choosing a primary Discipline when accepted as
Padawan by a Knight or Master of that discipline.
There are Four Disciplines: Artificer, Healer, Diplomat,
Contemplative
1) Artificer: (Black/Golden Yellow) These are engineers,
inventors, those who work primarily with technology. They both
gather and share technology, helping Republic worlds update
their technology. (Temple Center: Corellia)
Rationale: It's been written in pro-novels as well as fanfic
that there are/can be devices designed for use only by
Force-sensitives. Who designs those, but other Jedi? How about
droids and spaceships, shuttles, etc. that only respond to
Force-commands/programming? As far as what they do for the
Republic, I imagine that a great leveler in terms of power is
who has what technology - I can VERY much see a Jedi Knight
Artificer working with a poorer world to update their
technology to help them keep up with other Republic members,
perhaps even helping with the development of their own
technological advances. If there's a Jedi Knight Diplomat who
represents the Republic Senate, why not a Jedi Knight Artificer
who represents a Republic-sponsored distribution company that
works with the ship/droid corporations to assist member
planets? Of course the Republic doesn't need a Force-sensitive
to do that, but then it doesn't need a Jedi for negotiations,
does it? <g> Same advantage, really.
2) Healer: (Blue/Pale Gray)These are physicians, environmental
scientists - as well as working with other Jedi for healing,
they are called upon to assist Republic worlds in health or
environmental problems. (Temple Center: Dantooine)
Rationale: Certainly there can be those of the Jedi with more
advanced healing skills that can not only be applied to
sentient beings, but to other natural things as well. Hence
there are more telepaths (telepathic ratings higher than ten
out of twenty) in the Healer Discipline than in the other
Disciplines. Besides healing Jedi, they can be called upon in
times of planetary disasters or plagues.
3) Diplomat: (Brown/Cream) These are investigators,
negotiators, those who work on Republic worlds for the Senate.
They assist in disputes between planets, serve as official
representatives at important events, work to maintain peace.
They are the Senate's "eyes" on Republic worlds at times.
(Temple Center: The Main Jedi Temple, Coruscant)
Rationale: This is the "traditional" role of Jedi as seen in
canon. The Jedi Order could very well contain other
"disciplines" of study or focus that simply have not been
revealed in the canon. If the Jedi are Guardians of Peace and
Justice in the galaxy, I maintain that the art of diplomacy is
but one of those vital paths toward that goal.
4) Contemplative: (Green/White)These are the priests/monks of
the Jedi, philosophers who contemplate the Force.
Contemplatives have a longer period of study as Padawans than
any other discipline. Most Contemplatives are Knighted around
age 30. They often do not take an apprentice until nearly ten
years later. Councilors follow this Discipline during their
term. (Temple Centers: various)
Rationale: The role of the Jedi Contemplative is sensing the
Force, looking at what the Force reveals of the future, and
yes, comparing what is shared by other Knights. This is
omething I imagine the Council already does - which is why I
made them Contemplatives, but also considering the origins of
the Order, it makes sense for them to continue to have those
who concentrate on philosophy and study of the Force. Would
they have discovered everything about it in 25,000 years? I
think not, as it is ever changing. What about those prophecies?
Who is checking up on them??
I think a Contemplative could be invited to "choose" the life -
people in our own world choose this life, though it's rare. I
can see a Master who teaches Trainees noting when a child is
particularly introspective and insightful when it comes to the
Force. It very well may be that a Padawan or Senior Padawan can
discover this "bent" after already starting to train in a
Discipline and will transfer over to another Master in the
Contemplative Discipline. (Note how carefully I avoid mention
of celibacy here... <g>)
Additional Note re the Disciplines:
I don't see the Disciplines as static. I think a Knight in
particular may want to switch to another Discipline at some
time... or not. I think many Knights/Masters could choose to
step away from their Discipline and go the Contemplative route
for a while. I can see the Force leading them to that, kinda
like taking a sabbatical. Basically the Disciplines are four,
often loose designations of Jedi concentrations. Certainly a
Jedi uses aspects of all four. But particular gifts in certain
areas would naturally be encouraged to develop.
Additional Note re Jedi and Telepathy:
Telepaths are rated on a scale of one to twenty. Generally a
rating of three to ten indicates Force-sensitivity; a rating
over ten designates one as a full telepath. The Force-sense
brings with it telepathic capabilities which are more
pronounced between those who share a mental bond, such as a
Master-Padawan pair. Some species are both Force-sensitive and
more highly telepathic (ex. Masters Poof and Tiin of the
Council - SW Visual Dictionary for Episode I, p. 10). I
extrapolated further for the purposes of this AU.
In summary, all Jedi have some telepathic capability through
their Force-sensitivity, but natural telepaths can be found in
the various disciplines, especially Diplomat and Contemplative.
Telepathic skills among Healers are particularly prized for few
Healers want the sensitivity; while a telepath would make an
excellent Healer, he would be susceptible to the pain of
others. (Empathy ratings also indicate potential for a Healer).
Appendix B: *Jedi Levels*
There are seven levels or rankings among the Jedi Order:
Candidates - from age of six months to about three years old -
a Candidate lives in the Temple creche, cared for and closely
watched for development of their Force-sensitivity.
Trainees - from age three to thirteen at the oldest - a Trainee
wears dark gray tunics and pants and studies from all
Disciplines as well as receiving physical training. A Jedi
Trainee is considered a member of the Order, and makes promises
to the Order to learn what they are taught by the Knights and
Masters who are their teachers.
Padawans - from age nine at the youngest to eighteen - a
Padawan Learner trains with a single Knight or Master in his
chosen Discipline and wears what his Master wears except for a
light shade of the Discipline color for his robe. Human
padawans wear the braid. Padawans continue to study all
Disciplines, though the majority of their studies now will be
in their own Discipline. Padawans take two sets of vows with
their Masters, one on onset, the other when they reach their
majority at age eighteen (for humans) when they become a Senior
Padawan.
Senior Padawan - from age eighteen until Knighted - A senior
Padawan works more at his master's side as his associate,
almost an equal, and takes only advanced level classes in their
Discipline. The robe of a Senior Padawan is the same shade of
color as a Knight.
(Note re Padawans/Senior Padawans - One becomes a Senior
Padawan when they reach their majority. For human Jedi, it's
eighteen. The length of training is not dependent on this. Of
course, maturity is important, too. I can see a Padawan being
held back from the Senior status a while - less than a year,
though. If they're not mature enough after that, would they be
a Jedi?? I'm sure the training - what they take when - depends
entirely on the Padawan's personal rate of advancement.
Generally, Senior Padawans are finished with the regular
training in the Four Disciplines and concentrating on their own
Discipline. If they become a Padawan early, they'll have
started the concentration earlier. The "Senior" designation is
largely to identify adults, however.)
Knight - A Padawan, upon the agreement of his Master and the
Jedi High Council, takes the five days of Trials to determine
his readiness. Upon being Knighted, he takes formal vows of
service to the Order and is on his own as a Jedi Knight,
serving his Discipline.
Master - Upon the Knighting of his first Padawan, a Knight
becomes a Master. His robe takes on a darker hue than a
Knight's robe, and he is considered an expert in his Discipline
and a figure of great respect. Both Knights and Masters can
assume teaching duties at any time in their respective
Discipline Temples.
Councilor - A member of the Jedi High Council, a Councilor
wears the green of the Contemplative Discipline for the
duration of their term (generally five years), for it is the
duty of the Council to read the Force the most clearly. The
Council relies heavily on the Contemplatives in general for
input. In the time of Qui-Gon Jinn, the Council has
unfortunately settled into only relying on
Contemplatives for input, and in fact all Council members were
Contemplatives for at least five years prior to serving on the
Council. (It is agreed by the author that this is not an ideal
setup. <g>)
Appendix C: *Jedi Traditions and Relationships*
A Padawan may not enter into a romantic or sexual relationship
with anyone other than another Padawan. Senior Padawans may
enter into same with their peers, a Knight, or a Master, though
it is not customary (though not unheard of) to enter into a
relationship with their own Master.
The vows between a Padawan and his Master are meant to assist
the training relationship. A Padawan takes vows of obedience
and respect toward his master, and a vow of dedication to his
training. A training Knight or Master takes vows of protection
and respect toward his padawan, and also a vow of dedication to
the padawan's training. Implicit in the vows is the fact that
the Padawan and Master must form a personal bond together, and
certainly must form a mental "training" bond, a communion of
minds through which they will become one in the training
effort.
The Padawan, particularly the Senior Padawan, becomes the
Knight or Master's backup on missions, and they do come to rely
each on the other for support in all areas of life. Therefore
the Senior Padawan also takes vows of support, dedicating
themselves to their Master's work. It is natural and desired
that Master and Padawan become close in order to work in
harmony.
Jedi also form personal bonds with others, though rarely take
personal vows of commitment, due to the ephemeral nature of
their work. They do tend to bond only with other Jedi, or at
least other Force-sensitives.
Often a pair of Jedi form a formal partnership that is largely
based on their work within their Disciplines, but can also be
for the purpose of procreation or merely for a romantic
attachment. The partnerships can be for a specified term or
not, as they wish. In some cases, the partnership bond becomes
strong enough that they do in fact choose to make a
life-commitment with each other. Gender is rarely an issue, and
among the more numerous and more varied humanoids, species is
often not an issue either.
Rarely partnerships go outside the Disciplines, though there
may be specific kinds of work that would benefit from a joining
of disciplines (ex. a Contemplative joins up with a Healer).
There is no requirement that co-habitating Jedi take commitment
vows. Such vows are entirely voluntary, as is customary in the
Republic. (Customs do, of course, vary from world to world,
which is why the Jedi have no law on this.)
Now... on to the story! This will be posted on a nearly daily
basis. Enjoy the ride!
When Obi-Wan awoke, he was immediately aware of two things:
bright light and a searing pain in his head. Instinctively his
arm lifted to block out the light as he flinched violently, but
already a hand was settling over his eyes, blocking the light
for him. Then the room lights lowered, blessedly, and the hand
lifted. "Oh, my head," he said, his voice sounding distant like
someone else had spoken.
"Yes, a moment," a familiar voice murmured quietly.
[Who's that?] Obi-Wan wondered. He knew that voice, but
for some reason could not place it. Then, oh wonder, the pain
began to recede. He took a deep breath, savoring the relief.
"Better?" A hand rested on his forehead, heavy but cool.
"Oh, yes, thank you." Now that the worst of his troubles had
lessened, Obi-Wan opened his eyes to see the rest. Blinking, he
looked up into a most welcome sight.
"Master," he sighed, immediately grasping his teacher's other
hand. "What happened?"
Master Diplomat Qui-Gon Jinn, sitting on the edge of his
apprentice's bed, straightened, the hand on the forehead
joining the other to clasp Obi-Wan's near hand. "I'm told you
fell some twenty feet and hit your head rather severely on
something. An eyewitness told me you appeared to have slipped.
Fortunately you must have been able to break your fall with the
Force, for you've suffered no broken bones."
"I don't remember," Obi-Wan sighed, then grimaced when he tried
to shake his head. "Ow... what's wrong with me?"
"You've suffered a severe concussion, Padawan," Qui-Gon
answered mildly, watching his apprentice carefully. There was
more... but Obi-Wan would know of that soon enough. "I've
healed your head wound, but there is swelling, evidently. I
will try another healing when I've rested."
Obi-Wan noted then, finally, how pale his master looked.
"How... how long?"
"Twenty-seven hours," Qui-Gon sighed. "You worried me plenty,
my Obi-Wan. A concussion can be dangerous to a telepath."
He'd spoken coolly, but there was an intent look to his eyes
that warned Obi-Wan. Then, suddenly, he knew.
Their bond. Obi-Wan could not feel their bond. In fact, he
couldn't even feel the Force! Aghast, he gasped and clutched at
his master, fear rushing through him.
"I know, I know," Qui-Gon assured him quickly, allowing his
eighteen-year-old apprentice to cling to his hands, the
physical contact a poor second to the more badly needed mental
one. "Your telepathic powers and Force-sense are affected.
Which only means you cannot help me with this."
"Master!" Obi-Wan was already blinking back tears. His
Force-sense had been his companion his entire life. He could
not remember when he could not use it. "I... I've had brain
damage?"
"Shhhh..." Qui-Gon hushed him, extracting one hand from the
fierce grip to lay his hand aside Obi-Wan's face, guiding his
attention. "There is no fear..."
Obi-Wan tried to gulp back a sob, but did not succeed. "Master,
but..."
A large finger lay atop his lips. "Shh... Obi-Wan, you are not
listening to me. I will heal this." Qui-Gon looked into his
apprentice's distressed face, wishing he were sure. "I will..."
"But... the mission..." Obi-Wan tried to calm down, leaning
into his Master's touch, letting the physical contact be his
ground since he no longer had his mental center.
"I have canceled the meetings until further notice," Qui-Gon
replied, cupping the young man's cheek with his palm. "We need
a break anyway, you know that. So no more worries about the
mission. We have this to worry about."
Obi-Wan laid his hand on the outside of Qui-Gon's, as if to
keep it there. "Master, can you still feel our bond?"
The Jedi Master, a member like Obi-Wan of the Diplomat
Discipline of the Jedi Order, regarded him for a long moment.
His heart was breaking for he ached as much as his padawan did
for his powers to return. How could he explain the hollowness
he felt? Obi-Wan had become his companion mentally as well as
his student. The presence of his bright spirit and intellect in
his mind had done so much in five years toward healing him of
the turning of his last padawan. Their closeness was his
greatest treasure now, and he knew he loved the young man well.
"It is very dim, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon murmured, rubbing his
apprentice's cheek lightly with his thumb. "We will bring it
back to its full brightness soon."
"Oh, Master..." Obi-Wan fought his fear, trusting in his
teacher. "Yes, I hope so..."
Qui-Gon straightened. "I need to rest first," he murmured, and
made as if to stand up. But the young man would not release his
hand. "Obi-Wan..."
"Do not leave, Master," Obi-Wan whispered, unable to look at
him. "Please."
The Master stilled. He could understand the other's acute need
for contact right now, unable to tap into his Force-sense to be
assured of his master's presence, his own security. Obi-Wan's
shakiness was not going away this quickly, and he was going to
have to adjust for the time being. Qui-Gon felt a brief war
within him between a wish to allow Obi-Wan to get used to the
situation until it could be fixed - presuming that it could -
and a need to allow him the physical contact he wanted.
Obi-Wan was no longer a child, however. He did not have the
same security issues he had five years ago when he became
Qui-Gon's apprentice. Moreover, he was still in a difficult
time of his training, when his body's sexual urges could
override his discipline if not integrated. It was not at all
uncommon for padawans his age or younger to be infatuated with
their masters. [I cannot afford to let that happen now,]
Qui-Gon thought soberly, returning his padawan's gaze. [He has
many years of his training ahead of him yet. But this is an
unusually difficult loss for him...]
At age eighteen, Obi-Wan Kenobi was technically a Senior
Padawan of the Jedi Order, a Diplomat like his master, and
already he wore the knight's tail and the medium brown robe of
a Knight Diplomat. As yet, however, because of their schedule,
Obi-Wan had not yet made his Senior Padawan's vows to his
master, who subsequently had not as yet renewed his to him,
either.
Qui-Gon gave the young man's hand a squeeze, giving him a small
smile. "I need to sleep, Padawan. I will just be in the next
room." On this particular mission, they'd been given, as they'd
requested, a suite with a kitchen, sitting area, and adjoining
bedrooms, much like their own quarters back in the Temple.
"I cannot feel your mind, Master," Obi-Wan replied quietly, his
blue eyes earnestly searching his master's. "May... I..." But
he did not finish, turning his face away in misery.
[He understands, then,] Qui-Gon noted, watching him for a
moment. [Perhaps he does then have such feelings for me?] His
padawan was usually carefully shielded, which the Jedi Master
had thought to mean that he'd wanted to be discrete regarding
his relationships with other padawans, of which he knew he'd
had plenty in the past, though curiously none recently. [We
need to talk again...]
Qui-Gon raised the hand tightly holding his, dropping a soft
kiss onto the back of it, then disengaged his hand from
Obi-Wan's. "Sleep, Padawan," he murmured, sending a silent
suggestion along with his words into his apprentice's mind.
Disappointed, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and yielded unknowing to
the suggestion.
To his dismay, Qui-Gon could not sleep, and with a shock
realized it was because he could not feel Obi-Wan's mind. He
sat up in bed, feeling cold and strange. His senses immediately
told him his apprentice was fine - awake, however, and a bit
restless. He got a hint of coldness from Obi-Wan as well. [What
is this?]
Unbidden, a scrap of memory came forward. A time when he had
thought he and Xanatos had been in such harmony with one
another, when Xanatos was but a year older than Obi-Wan. Even
then, something was wrong, and he'd refused to believe it.
Qui-Gon had admittedly been a little in love with his fiery,
brilliant apprentice, and had come to believe that their
training bond was developing into something that Qui-Gon found
exciting. Xanatos was the one, the Jedi who would be his
partner in life... the love of his heart. But despite his
feelings, there was a wrongness in their bond.
At first he'd simply refused to see it. Yoda had had to point
it out to him, speaking with compassion but firmly: "Sealed to
his life, you cannot be, Qui-Gon. That... is not meant to be."
Qui-Gon's own closest friends had said the same, though they
had been far more blunt than that. It had been a time of
tension among them all.
After a great deal of soul searching, Qui-Gon had had to admit
that his hope was pointless. Xanatos was loyal and obedient to
his master, and they'd achieved the mind-communion needed...
but personally there was not much there. Somehow that personal
commitment that he and Obi-Wan had needed and given one another
had not be achieved... or needed. Their connection as Master
and Padawan had come due to a joint dedication to Xanatos's
training in the Diplomat Discipline, and secondly, to the
Order.
But then, Xanatos hadn't been the potentially powerful telepath
Obi-Wan Kenobi was, either...
[Obi-Wan and I are already sealed in many ways,] Qui-Gon
thought soberly as he rose from his bed. [I do not want to be
mistaken again... but he is so different... I believe him to be
sincerely attached to me, and I know I am to him... yet he's
young...]
He thought, then, of the others in his life, his two dearest
and closest friends. Masters Raen Gi and Jil-Ba Rendovar had
been Qui-Gon's intimates... and lovers... for most of the past
fifteen years. Unfortunately, he saw them rarely, for it was
infrequent that all three of them were on Coruscant at the same
time, even though they were of the same Discipline. Jil-Ba
taught history at the Temple, but he'd just last year taken
another Padawan Learner, and was out on mission, too. Raen had
a Padawan but a couple years younger than Obi-Wan.
[They know what Obi-Wan means to me,] Qui-Gon mused, relaxing
as he drew on his robe. [And any one of us has known that one
day one or all of us would each find a more permanent love.
Though I shall care for them always... still, I believe Obi-Wan
is the one... in time.]
He shook off his reverie, drawing his dark brown robe closer
around himself as he walked the few steps to his padawan's
room. Entering, he saw Obi-Wan sitting up, hugging his knees
and the covers.
"Master, ah, did I wake you?" Obi-Wan started, his head coming
up.
"No, indeed, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon sighed and sat down on the bed
next to his padawan's feet. "Apparently I am suffering from
distress similar to yours." As Obi-Wan frowned at him
puzzledly, Qui-Gon drew his legs up onto the bed, sitting
cross-legged. "I am just as affected by the loss of our bond as
you are, Padawan. It seems I need to be close to you as well to
compensate. Do you mind that?"
"No, of course not," Obi-Wan replied with immense relief.
Impulsively, he reached to touch his master's nearest arm with
a hand. "You're here..."
Qui-Gon smiled and covered the hand with his other one. "Yes, I
seem to be. Although if we are going to get any sleep at all,
and we both need to desperately, we might move to my room.
There's a lot more space there."
"You'll let me sleep with you?" Obi-Wan asked with
astonishment... and a great measure of relief.
"It appears," Qui-Gon replied with faint amusement at his
padawan's reaction, "that we have little choice. Come, let us
talk there..." He rose and offered Obi-Wan a hand up.
[Is he glad or resigned?] Obi-Wan wondered as he slowly got up
from the bed with his master's assistance. [Does he want me
that close? Does he have any idea how close I really want to
be? I'll kill myself if I get aroused...] To his continued
relief, Qui-Gon put an arm around him, intending to help him
into the other room. He let him, gratefully leaning into his
warmth, his head feeling immensely heavy.
"No, it is not, exactly," Qui-Gon replied quietly, slipping his
fingers into the young man's hair as he pressed his head
against his chest. "This is because of our bond. I felt it too,
the cold from being parted from you." Already the sensation had
faded. "We need to talk about this, Padawan, and soon. For now,
we rest." He dropped a kiss onto the top of Obi-Wan's head, and
closed his eyes, relaxing.
Obi-Wan was asleep before he could think to answer.
Hours later, when a thin sliver of light slanted into the room
across the bed, Qui-Gon woke all at once, as was his habit. He
frowned in annoyance at the beam of light, then flicked a
tendril of Force at the shade on the window to adjust it. Only
then did he look down into the young face nestled against his
chest.
[Obi-Wan...] he thought with warmth, gazing upon his sleeping
padawan. [My precious treasure... how your life has become
tangled with mine...] He sobered, thinking of the implications
of what he believed to be developing. [But before we can deal
with that, you need healing, love.]
Closing his eyes, the Master Diplomat relaxed again, holding
his padawan close. Gradually he settled into a healing
trance... and began to apply the Force to reducing the swelling
still in his student's brain. To his dismay, though he would
not let himself dwell on it, their bond was very faint, almost
gone.
The Living Force filled his mind and heart. Focusing on his
love for Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon let flow forth the healing
energies...
Obi-Wan woke to the comforting sound of his master's heartbeat
in the ear pressed against Qui-Gon's chest. He smiled, feeling
relaxed and secure until he noted... the heartbeat was slow.
Very slow. He opened his eyes and blinked, turning in his
master's arms to look up at his face. The noble bearded face
was composed, relaxed. [He's still asleep,] Obi-Wan marveled,
looking over the visage he loved so well. In sleep, the lines
on the older man's face smoothed out, making him look much
younger, more vulnerable.
He almost looked... dead... A quick flash of panic went through
the teenager until he scolded himself for being silly. [His
heart beats, he breathes, stupid. But is something wrong?]
It was then Obi-Wan remembered his own plight. Blessedly he had
no headache any more, and when he realized he was sensing the
Force again, he almost sobbed in relief, burying his face
against his master again. "Oh, Master!" he murmured, wanting to
share it with him. He laid a hand on Qui-Gon's chest to wake
him up. "Master, wake up - I'm sensing the Force again!"
But another wave of panic went through him at what he was in
fact sensing. There was a wrongness to the flow of the Force in
the room... and Qui-Gon was not waking up. "Master?" Obi-Wan
tapped at his shoulder, then a little more roughly shook it.
But there was no response. To his dismay, he realized the Jedi
Master was unconscious, not asleep.
"Master!" Obi-Wan emitted a harsh exclamation, sitting all the
way up, frowning in worry. Hastily he checked and was relieved
to verify that his master was breathing regularly though
shallowly, and the heartbeat was strong though almost
unnaturally slow. [So, what's wrong?] Then he knew, and gasped,
immediately biting his knuckles in dismay. [He healed you,
Obi-idiot! Did he go too far? What do I do??]
The padawan fit his hand into one of the rather larger hands of
the Jedi Master, then closed his eyes to concentrate. If he
could sense the Force again, perhaps he could sense their
Master-Padawan bond. //Master... please, Master, come back...//
The bond. Obi-Wan could barely feel it. Could he reach his
master through it? Mere thinking at him did not seem to work.
Perhaps through their connection, he could contact his beloved
Master. Concentrating all the more, Obi-Wan willed himself to
calm, centering in the faint pulse of Force coming from their
mental bond. Then he touched their bond, at first wanting to
sob for the sheer joy of being able to do that again when he'd
thought he'd lost it, then focusing on his task, the greater
need. Qui-Gon's Force signature was very low, Obi-Wan realized,
but he hadn't a clue as to how he could affect that, how he
could call his Master back.
[Let go with my feelings,] Obi-Wan told himself, echoing
Qui-Gon's training. [Use my instincts, don't think, do...] And
he did, releasing his will to the Force. Then he seemed to see
it, the weakly throbbing life pulse of the Jedi Master. To his
wonder, it seemed that there were tendrils connecting it back
to himself, like the bond in their minds, but this was
something else, connecting the life forces of Master and
Padawan. Obi-Wan did not think about this, but instinctively
reached along the tendrils, sharing energy back along them with
his master. In moments, the energies of both life forces seemed
to balance out.
Obi-Wan came out of his trance, blinking, feeling a little
dizzy, but otherwise normal. He realized that he must have
pulled the large body of his master over onto his, as if he'd
needed more physical contact to accomplish his task. [I did
it,] he wondered in awe, [I brought my Qui-Gon back.] A smile
spread over his face as he shifted the man onto his back again,
though he stayed within the circle of his arm, pressed against
his side. Looking up into his master's face, he noted with
relief that Qui-Gon was breathing normally and in fact was
waking up. Obi-Wan levered himself up onto an elbow and twisted
so he could watch him better. "Master?" he whispered, his own
heart pounding with excitement. His fingertips rested lightly
against his master's chest where he could feel the strong
heartbeat within.
Then the touch came to him, not physically, but in his mind,
the touch on their bond. //Padawan... what's happened? I was
healing you...// The mental connection between them seemed
stronger than before Obi-Wan's accident, to their surprise.
//Master,// Obi-Wan replied with happy relief, //you were
unconscious, but I brought you back. And you did heal me,
see?//
Qui-Gon, his mind flooded with his padawan's joy, sat up and
looked down into the beautiful young face of the man at his
side and two merry blue eyes looking back at him. A look of
incredulity crossed the Master's face, then he smiled in
wonder, reaching to touch the back of a finger to the young
man's cheek. //Obi-Wan, what did you do? More has happened here
than your bringing me to consciousness.//
Obi-Wan was still centered, still content to be and to feel
rather than think about what he was doing. //We're better than
ever, Master! Oh, it feels so right and good...//
Then, impulsively, Obi-Wan threw his arms around Qui-Gon's neck
and kissed him on the mouth. And promptly froze as awareness of
what he was doing rushed back. He pulled back abruptly,
abashed. But when he would pull away, wanting to run to his
room in embarrassment, his master's arms tightened around him.
//Stay, it is all right, Padawan,// Qui-Gon was telling him
quickly. //But we do need to talk.//
//I did not mean to do that,// Obi-Wan said hastily, unable to
look at him. //I... I do not know where that came from. I am
sorry, Master.//
"Shhh," Qui-Gon said aloud into his ear, stroking his back
lightly in comfort. //It is all right, Obi-Wan. I am not
angry.// He pressed a kiss against the brushy hair, then was
releasing his padawan altogether. "Let us get dressed for the
day, have a little firstmeal, then we will talk on the couch,
all right, Obi-Wan?"
When the miserable padawan looked up at his master, he was
relieved to see that Qui-Gon was smiling. The inadvertent kiss
did not seem to have bothered him at all. [I canNOT believe I
did that,] he said to himself with a mental kick. "Yes,
Master."
They went about their morning ablutions and meal in
companionable silence, almost exactly like they'd been doing
every day for five years. Almost. Obi-Wan was painfully aware
that his deepest, darkest secret - that he felt sexual
attraction toward his master - had inadvertently surfaced.
Qui-Gon, on the other hand, was not thinking of that at all,
only the changes he could now read through the Force in each of
their life forces. Yes, something embarrassing happened. Yes,
something profound had happened also. He would dwell on the
latter.
Finally the Master Diplomat, leaving Obi-Wan to finish cleaning
up their dishes, went to sit on the couch in their common room.
[I can feel his life blending with mine,] Qui-Gon thought
soberly, centering himself again in the Living Force. [He is
still so young, though, and the years between us are great.
What is this going to do to each of our life spans? Our
individual physical conditions? I have heard of this happening
in some telepathic species.] He sighed, remembering the
research he'd done so far in his study of telepathy. It was a
study outside his Discipline, but one he felt important, given
their mutual potentials.
There were species in the galaxy with binary brains like Knight
Contemplative Ki-Adi-Mundi of Cerea... there were species with
bonded clans in which a member of a clan could never travel
without a partner from that same clan... there were even
species like the H'risttili who had a collective intelligence.
Of all the humanoid species, of which there were many and
probably still many to be discovered, only ten possessed
telepathy on the level that he and Obi-Wan possessed, and in
only four, physical imprinting was also possible. It was
probably academic that the particular two subspecies to which
he and Obi-Wan belonged were named differently, for humanoids
were so widespread that parallel evolution over the last 25,000
years of space travel had been inevitable.
[No matter,] Qui-Gon mused, [We are becoming imprinted upon one
another. It has already started to happen.] He closed his eyes
and recalled to mind a conversation he'd had with Raen three
years ago...
"He is going to be with you ten more years, probably," she'd
said to him about Obi-Wan from where she'd lain nestled in his
arms, their bodies slick with sweat from recent lovemaking. On
Qui-Gon's other side, Jil-Ba had lain, already asleep, a hand
lax against Qui-Gon's back. Raen had brought up the subject,
knowing that despite the hours he'd spent in their loving
company, his thoughts had returned to his apprentice. "It is
not like he is going anywhere."
"I have been down this road before," Qui-Gon had murmured,
kissing her fingertips. "I know what can happen. Yes, that is a
lot of time. But I will not be falling in love with this one."
"Liar." Raen had tugged on his hair to get him to look her in
the eye. "He is nothing like Xanatos. It is bad enough to lie
to us, Qui, but to lie to yourself?"
"He is fifteen, Rae," Qui-Gon had sighed, facing her glare. One
thing he'd treasured about his lovers was that they had never
allowed him to ignore what was going on around him. Though with
Xanatos he'd refused to hear their protests. [Never again.]
"And soon he will be eighteen, twenty... Qui, he is
understandably a bit gangly now, but we know he is going to
grow up to be a beautiful man... and his devotion to you is
complete." Raen had fingered his chin. "There is already a bond
between you two that is going to last. And I am not talking
about the training bond."
He'd tried to say something, but her fingers had settled on his
lips, stopping him. "I am not even talking about romantic or
sexual attraction, Qui, and yes, I know well you are not
thinking about him like that now. This goes deeper. This is far
more about destiny..."
"Destiny!" Qui-Gon had erupted with an ironic snort, almost
waking Jil-Ba. "Rae, you are a dreamer! Or else you have missed
your calling as a Contemplative."
She'd shaken her head firmly. "Perhaps, I do not know. But I
know this, Qui-Gon Jinn. I see it, in the Force, in everything
about you, in everything about him. Sometimes a person comes
along in our life - if we are lucky - who just is the
answer to every puzzle in our life, the part of us that we've
always missed, even from birth. I believe you have found him,
Qui."
Opening his eyes again, Qui-Gon realized that this imprinting
might have been what Raen had spoken of that day. He and
Obi-Wan were bound together already on a path to union... of
some sort. [It is all starting to come together. But he is
still so young, is he not?] Soberly he reminded himself -
Obi-Wan was eighteen, after all, an adult by Jedi
standards. [He has grown into a man... we should be renewing
our vows soon. He is a Senior Padawan...]
In the kitchen, Obi-Wan, too, had been thinking, understanding
all too well what he had nearly lost in that accident, and
worse, what he might have lost if he had not been able to bring
Master Qui-Gon back. [It was terrible, not being able to sense
the Force,] he mused, his eyes moist. [But far, far worse would
be if I had lost Master...]
He paused, leaning on the sink as he remembered the hollow
feeling of being Force-blind. [My whole life is sensing the
Force,] he mused. [What if Qui-Gon hadn't been able to heal
me?] But Obi-Wan knew too well the folly of worrying about what
might have happened. He could have been left Force-blind and
not been able to bring his master back. But it did not happen.
He must draw the Force around him again and go on. [I almost
lost him once before...]
Briefly, as he finished his task, he thought back to that
fateful decision on Melida/Daan five years ago, when he'd
thought to devote himself to a noble cause and abandon his
training, his life in the Diplomat Discipline, the Jedi
Order... and his Master. Qui-Gon had been so patient, so
understanding with him that even today it amazed Obi-Wan. Both
of them had been changed by that event, and so had their
relationship. No longer stern and impassive, Qui-Gon Jinn had
become the firm but loving master that Obi-Wan had longed for.
Their personal connection made their lives together a joy.
Obi-Wan loved nothing more than working with and training under
him.
[I love him,] Obi-Wan thought soberly, thinking guiltily of the
stolen kiss. [I cannot risk what we have by foolishly
wanting... more. I know I have years ahead of me as his
padawan. Oh, but I love him...] He smiled suddenly, purely
happy to have such a wonderful master in his life, happy to be
Jedi. His center was back, firmly locked into the light of the
Force.
Qui-Gon looked toward the kitchen, sensing the spark of joy in
their bond. He smiled, too, warming. "Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan emerged, grinning. "Oh, Master, I am just so happy to
be me again, to be well!" Then he sobered a little, coming to
sit on the other side of the couch. "I did not thank you for
healing me. Thank you, Master."
"You are welcome, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied, turning to put one
knee up on the seat of the couch so he could face him. "I am
relieved and glad as well, Padawan."
Their eyes met, an answering flicker of shared happiness in
their Master-Padawan bond. Then as they gazed at one another,
each of their expressions changed: Qui-Gon's to solemnity,
Obi-Wan's to a wary wonder. "Master?" the padawan inquired
softly. "You wanted to talk?"
"Yes, Padawan," Qui-Gon sighed, then seeing how nervous his
apprentice was, smiled a little. "This is a serious subject,
Obi-Wan, but be assured, you are not in any sort of trouble...
at least not of your own doing. It is rather we who may be in
trouble. Or that is at least one way of looking at it..."
"I do not understand, Master," Obi-Wan replied, relaxing only a
little. Maybe this wasn't about his kissing his master.
"How do you feel right now?" Qui-Gon himself had been purposely
resisting an instinct to either adjust the temperature in their
quarters, or simply put on more clothes.
As if on cue, Obi-Wan shivered. "It has been chilly in here all
morning, hasn't it?"
Qui-Gon shook his head ruefully. "Actually it isn't... but both
of us think that it is for an entirely different reason that
has nothing to do with temperature. Now, let me ask you
something else. When you woke this morning, you found me
unconscious. You not only brought me out of that, but also
healed me. And for my part, I must apologize for overextending
myself. I was very concerned about reducing the swelling in
your brain. I probably should have worked on that in stages.
Anyway, how do you think you were able to heal me?"
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "I have no idea, Master. I let the
Force guide me. You mean I should not have been able to do
that?"
A wave of remorse passed through the Jedi Master as he wished
fervently that he could have had some warning, some way to have
been able to stop what was happening. [He should be older, be
able to decide this for himself as a Knight,] he mused with a
twinge of regret. But he knew it was already too late. [And he
is an adult now, though only very recently so. I must
adjust to that...] "No, you shouldn't have. But you did...
because of something that is happening between us, something
that I had known about but never could have guessed could
happen already... or so fast."
Obi-Wan's heart leapt in hope. [Does he love me, too? Did I
heal him because we're in love?? Oh, blessed Force...]
"Master," he asked, trying not to show his excitement, "what is
happening?"
Qui-Gon took a deep breath, then spoke as calmly as he could.
"Obi-Wan, every entity has a life force, a particular spark
that keeps it alive and allows it to grow and develop..."
[Uh-oh,] Obi-Wan thought, disappointed. [This isn't about love.
What is he talking about?]
"In about 98% of all species, this life spark is separate and
individual from those of all other entities," Qui-Gon was
saying, watching his apprentice closely. "Do you understand so
far?"
The teenager shifted position on the couch uneasily. "I guess
so, Master. So in 2% of all known species this is different?"
"Apparently so," Qui-Gon replied, sighing. "I will share with
you later the research I've done. What I tell you now will
likely shock you, Obi-Wan. And I say again - I never dreamed
this would happen to us, and certainly not now."
Obi-Wan chuckled nervously. "All right, now you're just scaring
me, Master. What is it?"
"Sorry." Qui-Gon gave him a quick smile, then sobered again.
"Obi-Wan, you and I are apparently undergoing a physical
imprinting. Our life forces are becoming meshed together. As I
said, I did not know this was going to happen, and certainly
could not have expected this now."
"Imprinting?" Obi-Wan wasn't sure if he was thrilled, shocked,
scared... but it did sound wonderful. "What is that, Master?"
Qui-Gon regarded his apprentice thoughtfully. "I believe our
two individual life forces are no longer separate from one
another. It's probably why I could overextend myself in healing
you, and why you were able to bring me back instinctively.
Physical imprinting means that either one entity becomes
physiologically dependent on another entity, or they become
dependent on each other, which I believe to be the case for us.
I also believe this has happened as a result of our close
mental bonding. Obi-Wan... I'm sorry. This has taken me by
surprise, too."
"Sorry?" Obi-Wan echoed, incredulous at what his master had
revealed. "Why are you sorry?? Please excuse me, Master, but...
but... it's kind of wonderful, don't you think?" [Wonderful,
this is GREAT!] he was shouting inside, wanting to hug and kiss
him. But something about his master's demeanor warned him.
Obviously Qui-Gon wasn't thrilled about becoming
"physiologically dependent" on an eighteen-year-old.
"Oh, Obi-Wan," the Master sighed, smiling wanly. "Yes, it's
kind of wonderful, but in another sense it's frightening. The
implications... what this could mean..."
"I want to be close to you," Obi-Wan stated abruptly. A
brief flash of dismay crossed his face at the admission. He
didn't want Qui-Gon to think him some immature padawan,
infatuated with his master! What he felt was so much more,
something he knew had been building within him, perhaps for
years already.
"Padawan, and I to you," Qui-Gon replied hastily, reassuring
him, "but you do not know what this truly means. And I am not
certain either. This is not as simple as the two of us having a
closer relationship. This is not about how we might feel about
one another at all. For one thing, Obi-Wan, I seriously wonder
what this may do to either of our lifespans. It may extend
mine... or shorten yours. And I am sure there are other things
we will discover more profound than a sense of cold."
"Oh," the teenager murmured, confused. While his heart sang to
hear that his master wanted to be close to him, the rest
sounded ominous. He thought he was beginning to understand
Qui-Gon's apprehension. "So this is not healthy, this
imprinting?" he asked. Unconsciously he shivered. Obi-Wan knew
well that there were others in Qui-Gon's life. He knew that
Masters Gi and Rendovar were close to his master. Perhaps
Qui-Gon was worried about losing them...
"I wish I knew, Padawan," Qui-Gon sighed. "This will have to be
studied, both by us and by Healers, I'm sure. I'm also worried
about how it will affect our work. While it's likely to benefit
your training, I believe there could be a danger on a mission.
As Jedi we must put the mission first before all other
considerations, but this imprinting may make that impossible.
If one of us is hurt, the other will be affected at least in
the sense that they would feel the need to stop and heal the
one hurt. The life force we will share may demand a balance be
maintained."
"We won't have to be separated, will we?" Obi-Wan asked
suddenly, his eyes widening. "What if they take me away from
you, make me train under another?"
Qui-Gon stared at his apprentice in horror, appalled that his
student should even have such a thought. "Obi-Wan, no," he said
hastily, and when he opened his arms to him, the young man
shifted over to him gladly. Even from the first touch, they
felt warmer. "No one can take you away from me, my Obi-Wan,"
Qui-Gon went on, his voice a bit husky with emotion. "But do
you truly want this? You truly want to be stuck with your old
master? This could be rather... permanent."
Obi-Wan leaned into the embrace with relief, slipping his arms
around to his master's back as the older man leaned forward
toward him. "Master, you're not old at all. And..." He burrowed
his face fervently into the crook of Qui-Gon's neck. "You're
beautiful, Master. I love you."
The Jedi Master squeezed his eyes shut; the emotion coursing
through him and surging over from Obi-Wan in their bond was
overwhelming. He hugged his padawan tightly, marveling as
always what a gift Obi-Wan was to him. //And I love you,
Padawan,// he responded in a mental whisper.
Obi-Wan made a little noise of contentment and snuggled closer.
//Then it really was all right that I kissed you?//
A surprised pause, then Qui-Gon was mentally chuckling. //Oh,
that. I think we will also have to talk about that, Padawan.//
//Oh...// Obi-Wan pulled away a little, but hid his face still,
embarrassed. //So I did ruin everything. I know about... I know
about your friends. Your lovers.//
//You ruined nothing, Obi-Wan,// Qui-Gon said to him earnestly,
then tipped his chin up to look into his eyes. //And Raen and
Jil-Ba know what you mean to me.// Shyly, the teenager looked
back, abashed. "You and I are going to be rather tied up with
one another, Padawan. It makes sense to assume that..." He
paused to take a deep breath. He hadn't wanted to talk to
Obi-Wan about this sort of thing for a very long time. There
was so much of his training ahead of him yet. "That we may be
romantically involved one day as well. When you're Knighted,
perhaps. My friends know this and accept it."
[NO perhaps!] Obi-Wan was thinking, crushed. For the moment he
ignored the fact that his master had cared for anyone else.
"Master, I'm in love with you now," he murmured, making himself
look into those deep, kind, blue eyes. "I know I am. I love you
and I want to be with you."
Qui-Gon caressed the young man's cheek with the back of a
finger. "I am truly honored, Obi-Wan. But I am your teacher.
Your training could be compromised if we were... involved.
Besides our age differences..."
"That doesn't matter," Obi-Wan broke in abruptly. "And I am
dedicated to my training. You need not worry about that."
The suddenly sure and adult tone made Qui-Gon pause. [He really
means this - it's not just the usual infatuation? He is
an adult now and may choose any one he wishes to have a
relationship with. Unfortunately, the imprinting may make this
discussion academic. We are drawn together as surely as if we
were made for one another. And perhaps we have been... this is
what Raen meant...] "Obi-Wan," he tried again, attempting to
come at this from another side, "it may be that our imprinting
will call us to... that... anyway. I want to research this
more, consult with the Council and the Healers."
"Council?" Obi-Wan was stunned that his master would bring
something so private to them. "Must we tell them?"
Qui-Gon looked bewildered. "Of course we must, Padawan. This is
a rare occurrence among Jedi as far as I know. They will have
to allow adjustments in our interpretation of the Code... and
they must know if we should have trouble with this. They may
help us adjust." He sat back, though he still held onto
Obi-Wan's hand. "I have no doubt that we have farther to go in
the imprinting."
Obi-Wan nodded, reluctantly conceding. "Then if the imprinting
draws us into physical intimacy... you and they will allow it?"
[And Rae and Jil will allow it, really?]
The Master Diplomat stared at his suddenly bold apprentice. [He
is that sure of what he wants...] he mused, then nodded to him.
"My instincts as a Jedi Master tell me to wait until you're a
lot closer to being Knighted. Our bond and the physical link we
have begun to share are saying something else... as I know they
are to you. I need the Council's wisdom on this matter. I'm too
close to you already." Again he touched the young man's cheek
tenderly. "And I care about you far too much to give in to mere
desire, Obi-Wan. And as for Rae and Jil, they are close
friends. Yes, I have had a sexual relationship with them. But
for five years they have known that you were becoming the most
important person in my life. Yes... even that you might become
everything to me one day."
"They won't mind if you love me?"
"They want me to be happy. They know what you've done for me,"
the Master replied gently.
"Do you want me?" Obi-Wan asked quietly, searching his master's
eyes for an answering hope.
Qui-Gon smiled, his fingers dropping to fold around his
apprentice's padawan braid. "I want what's best for both of us.
Which means we need to find out exactly what is happening
before any personal considerations are made."
Obi-Wan sighed heavily, conceding to his master's wisdom. [He's
right, of course,] he thought miserably. [At least I know he
loves me... cares for me.] Wryly he realized that he'd always
known that. [I haven't even had a chance to make my Senior
Padawan vows to him yet, and here I want to make life
commitment vows to him already. Force, but I love him...] He
looked over the strong, handsome features, every line and shape
that he loved so well. Shyly he reached and touched his
master's bearded chin. "Yes, Master," he murmured obediently.
[Force!] Qui-Gon groaned within his shields. Oh, he did desire
this padawan like he'd never desired anyone else before.
Fortunately their mental link was such that they shielded so as
to allow each other a measure of privacy, even if the
imprinting did stir up urges in both of them for union. [I can
do this...] Aloud he said, releasing him completely, "Now... we
have a mission to complete. And the sooner we can do that...
the sooner we can attend to this other matter."
Obi-Wan got up from the couch when the Master did, but did not
as yet move away from him, reluctant to be parted already.
"I... would like to attend the meetings with you, Master. I
know I'm not required to be there, and you wished me to study
the culture, but..."
Qui-Gon nodded, laying a hand on his sant, Master Diplomat Jinn and Senior
Padawan Diplomat Kenobi delivered their mission report to the
Council... then Master Jinn requested a more private
consultation with Masters Yoda, Windu, Poof, and Koon. The last
Master was a personal choice; Plo Koon and Qui-Gon were
friends, and he wanted the support they were going to need.
Being that the four served on the Council, they all wore the
dark green of Contemplatives. When the Diplomats met in an
adjacent chamber with the four Council members, Qui-Gon
carefully explained what was happening to himself and Obi-Wan.
Windu, who already was wary of the unorthodox Qui-Gon Jinn, had
to severely control his first reaction - that Jinn wanted to
take advantage of his young Padawan. The Jedi custom was that a
Padawan was required to stick strictly to his own peers for
personal relationships... and sexual expression. Granted,
Obi-Wan Kenobi was at least close to that age. Patently this
was not exactly what was going on, so he forced himself to
listen to the evidence. When he heard of Obi-Wan's healing of
his Master, he had to concede that there was something here
worth investigating. Though he still thought Jinn's
interpretation - "imprinting" - was preposterous.
Yarael Poof merely nodded. He knew of many bizarre things both
mental and physical, even among the widely varied forms of
"humanoid". Objectively he accepted that what Jinn was
proposing was entirely likely, given the strength of the mental
bond between Master and Padawan. That Obi-Wan Kenobi was a
tender eighteen-year-old did not concern him.
Plo trusted Qui-Gon's judgment of the situation, knowing the
man, knowing where his heart lay. And in letters he'd received
from Qui-Gon over the last few years, he knew not only how
deeply Qui-Gon loved the boy, but how adamant he was about
treating him appropriately. No, Plo Koon had no concerns in the
matter.
Yoda knew these two best of all, but he merely leaned on his
stick, taking everything in. Most importantly, he observed the
teenager, or rather, young adult, remembering that
Obi-Wan had turned eighteen a couple weeks before while on
mission. Obi-Wan was calm, his back straight, shoulders
squared, feet apart, his hands folded in his robe sleeves. He
stood beside Qui-Gon, not behind him. Reading the Force
signature of the young man, Yoda discerned that he had gladly
embraced a permanent commitment for his master, but was willing
to yield to both the will of the Force and the will of the
Council. Yoda also noted that while Obi-Wan desired his master,
and likely Qui-Gon desired his padawan, the Master had strictly
kept their relationship from drifting into sexual intimacy.
When Qui-Gon was done, Master Poof was the first to speak. "You
have done well in bringing this to us immediately, Master Jinn.
And I accept that you did not have any warning that this
'imprinting', as you call it, was going to take place. Given
that, I believe a period of observation would enable the
Healers and the Council to determine how the process may be
reversed."
"Reversed?" Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had spoken. Both frowned.
"It would be well to stop this, don't you think, Qui-Gon?" Mace
Windu asked, also frowning. "Besides the fact that the boy is
too young for such an intense relationship, it also would
interfere with your work. How could such an 'imprinting' be of
any use?"
"Obi-Wan is not a boy," Plo Koon quickly spoke up before
Qui-Gon could retort. "He is more than old enough to decide for
himself. He is an adult by our standards and is he not four
years past the age that his own home planet considers to be
adult? Besides, we can no more make a decision to allow the
imprinting or not than they can. Qui-Gon says they need to know
more, and they do. There should be no talk of stopping anything
until then."
"Correct, Master Koon is," Yoda said, forestalling a heated
response from Windu. He would have to remind Mace later how old
Obi-Wan really was now. "Assign Healers to them, we shall. This
phenomenon will be studied in depth before any decision can be
made."
Poof looked nonplused; Windu looked rather purple. But they
both nodded in agreement with the ancient master. Qui-Gon and
Obi-Wan relaxed visibly. The first barrier had been passed.
Master Healers Galiddys Hyr and Makol' Windsailor were assigned
to them, the former having been called back to Coruscant from
Alderaan. Besides the fact that neither presently had a Padawan
Learner, both also were strong telepaths, a characteristic that
made them unusually sensitive. Not many Healers were as such,
because they would be so exposed to the suffering of others. It
took a strong spirit to manage their sensitivity... and
impressive shielding.
Hyr was a Pytthvran, a rare avian-humanoid species. He was over
two hundred years of age, but that only put him just past
middle age among his species. His pale blue Healer tunics were
specially constructed to allow his long leathery wings freedom,
though he usually had them folded back and contained in a
comfortable sling at his back. As he wore the customary dark
blue robe of the Healer over that, it gave him the appearance
of constantly being hunched over. His skin was a mottled pale
gray, his head covered with a fine white down except for an
impressive feathered head crest which expanded or folded to
suit his moods. Galliddys Hyr's highly telepathic mind was keen
and his healing powers were legendary.
Windsailor, on the other hand, was still young himself at age
thirty-five and a new Master, his first Padawan having been
Knighted a few months before. He was fully Human and belonging
to one of the other two subspecies of humans with advanced
telepathic powers. Maki', as he was known to his friends and
colleagues, wore his long black hair loose, tied back away from
his face with a thong, and wore a bushy black mustache. He had
a ready smile, his blue eyes twinkling with humor. As a
telepathic Healer, he had very strong shielding, developed over
the years with the help of his own teacher, Master Healer
T'nennu.
Upon their initial consultation with the Master-Padawan
Diplomat pair in question, both Healers declared their
enthusiasm for the project, making immediate friends of both
Master Jinn and Senior Padawan Kenobi. Both were compassionate,
understanding... and very patient. They observed the pair in
all their normal activities, ran a few cryptic experiments...
and all four did extensive research in the massive Jedi
archives.
Finally "Gali" declared that they had to visit Master Jinn's
home planet. Not Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan - just the Healers. They
departed, giving their assurance that they were "very close" to
solving this mystery. A cryptic reference in the archives to
healers on Zevdra had prompted the visit.
A couple hours after the Healers had gone, Obi-Wan returned to
their quarters to find his master sitting on the edge of his
bed, just staring. "Master?" he asked, approaching quietly.
Qui-Gon unfroze and looked over. "Obi-Wan..." He rose slowly
and came to the door where his apprentice stood watching him
uncertainly. Without pausing, the Master Diplomat wrapped his
arms around the young man, pulling him close into an embrace.
Obi-Wan emitted only a sigh as he was wrapped so warmly and
firmly against his master's body. "Oh..." He fitted his arms
around the tall body, his heart beating faster. Of late they'd
been rather... careful. Both felt stress in their mental bond
from their efforts to limit their physical contact in lieu of
the testing.
//I need you close, Obi,// Qui-Gon murmured into his mind.
//Just... close. I'm so cold...//
//Oh, Master, I, too...// Obi-Wan tightened his arms around
him, his cheek pressed into the hollow of the tall master's
neck. //I feel disoriented and cold when I'm away from you. But
my friends wanted to see me. I'm back now, where I belong.//
He could not help thinking about those who were not here.
Obi-Wan deeply missed his childhood friend, Bant, who had been
killed with her master on mission just a year ago. Garen Muln,
another close friend from his days as a Trainee at the Temple,
was a Senior Padawan Artificer and either on mission with his
own master or at the Jedi Temple on Corellia where the
Artificer Discipline had their academy. Still, he had a few
friends among the Senior Padawan Diplomats who happened to be
on Coruscant, and knew some of the younger Knights. Yet while
it was good to see his friends again, he wanted more to be with
Qui-Gon. But Obi-Wan knew without asking that Qui-Gon was also
missing his own friends who were away from Coruscant now.
[They love him,] Obi-Wan mused, thinking privately as he held
his master close. [Are they going to be upset when they learn
about this? Does Qui-Gon really want this with me?] He
had to admit he found that hard to accept, even now. He
pictured the other two Master Diplomats who had formed a triad
with Qui-Gon: Raen Gi, her long black hair braided elaborately
down her back, full of laughter and sharp wit... Jil-Ba
Rendovar, blond and muscular, his brimming good humor a good
counterpoint to Qui-Gon's more reticent personality. They were
both attractive people and loving. Why hadn't Qui-Gon taken
life vows with either of them - or both, for that matter? But
he knew that; Qui-Gon Jinn was a teaching Master and meant his
words to Obi-Wan five years ago when he'd said that as his
padawan he had first rights to his heart... and love. So also
were Gi and Rendovar, both as dedicated to their own padawans.
These others, then, were lovers. Not beloved. They loved him
deeply. Qui-Gon loved them. They were not in love with one
another. Obi-Wan had had this conversation with his master when
he was fourteen and still wasn't sure he fully understood the
difference.
It had shocked him when he'd first learned that the pair were
both sexually involved with his rather solemn master. He could
not fathom his master in that light. But time and experience
had shown him that Qui-Gon, for all his serenity, was
nevertheless a man of deep feelings and empathy. For one such
as he to be without any loved ones was also equally
unbelievable. Once Obi-Wan saw that... he fell in love.
Now, this new thing... [I will trust in the Force as he does,]
Obi-Wan thought, then realized the odd dizziness was completely
gone and he felt warm and cherished.
This effect, the disorientation, had been discovered later in
their tests with the two Master Healers. Distance apart caused
dizziness and the drawing of blood away from the skin, which
made them feel like they were cold... extreme distance, they
found in one test, caused unconsciousness. The Healers had
admitted they strongly felt, as did the Diplomats, that the
imprinting was incomplete, and that after it was completed, the
effects of separation, at least while they were adjusting to
it, could be... dramatic. Such effects were known in other
species that possessed the capability of physical imprinting.
But there was no way of knowing if the distance effects would
be the same after it was completed.
The nagging worry was ever with them - that the Healers would
decide that the imprinting must be reversed. Neither Qui-Gon
nor Obi-Wan understood how they knew, but they knew with every
fiber in their being that that must not happen. Somehow the
Force was creating something with the two of them. They hoped
the Healers would bring back that answer. But until they knew,
the fear of separation nagged at them ceaselessly. Only when in
each other's arms did they know peace.
For now, Obi-Wan chose to believe this. He felt this,
that all of his answers were in the arms of his master. In the
back of his mind he still wondered. [If they'd been
here... would he reach for them?] Master Diplomats Gi and
Rendovar were currently out on mission with their padawans.
//This cannot continue,// Qui-Gon reluctantly shared with his
padawan, breaking abruptly into his reverie. //We cannot
function like this. How can we work? And I do not want to chain
you to me forever...// Despite his words, his fingers slipped
up into Obi-Wan's hair, caressing his scalp lightly.
The slim arms tightened even more around the broad back. //I
will gladly be chained to you forever, Master. Please do not
let them take me from you. We will work side by side.//
//Oh, beloved Padawan, you do not know what you are saying...//
Qui-Gon replied, his lips pressed against the brushy hair.
//That is not good, and you know it...//
//Please do not let them take me from you,// Obi-Wan repeated
fervently, heedless of the hot tears that were gathering at the
corners of his eyes. //We belong together.//
The Jedi Master grimaced at his apprentice's pleading.
Unfortunately, he felt the exact same way, though he knew
rationally that this physical need for each other was not good,
not already. Even if the Force was throwing them inexorably
together. //Sweet Obi-Wan, I will not let them take you from
me. I can promise you that. But if they tell us that the
imprinting has to be reversed... I'm afraid it must be. But we
will still be Master and Padawan, I promise. Nothing will be
allowed to sever that.//
//Thank you, Master,// Obi-Wan returned, subsiding a little,
secure in the knowledge that his beloved master loved him and
would not let them be separated. He trusted Qui-Gon implicitly.
Hastily he wiped his eyes.
Qui-Gon straightened, separating enough to slide his hands up
along either side of the teenager's face. He looked down into
the wide blue eyes. "I trust Gali and Makol', Obi-Wan. I
believe they understand clearly how we feel about this, but
whatever they decide, we must accept. I trust that they will
not make a decision that will separate us. The imprinting might
need to be stopped, however."
"It is the will of the Force," Obi-Wan murmured, looking up
into his master's intent, deep blue eyes, his hands on
Qui-Gon's wrists. "The Force has drawn us together."
"Perhaps, Padawan. I have no doubt that we are to be
together... but perhaps not imprinted. We must wait and see
what they find out on Zevdra. Meanwhile, we should take
advantage of the time we have to further your training, hmm?"
He spoke seriously, but at this last began to smile.
"Right now?" Obi-Wan was enjoying the closeness too much to
stop it already.
"No, not immediately," Qui-Gon answered, smiling at him more
broadly. "I confess I like this as much as you do." His hands
dropped back down to the young man's back, drawing him against
him again. "I think we may indulge in this for a while yet."
"Oh, good," Obi-Wan replied with a heavy sigh of relief as he
snuggled back in. After a moment, he added, "I wish I was a
Knight already. I know how you feel about that."
[As do I,] Qui-Gon thought to himself, resting his cheek again
on the top of his padawan's head. Aloud he responded, "All
things in their time, my Obi-Wan." [But I may have to revise my
view on the matter.] His thoughts he kept private.
"I want to make my Senior Padawan vows to you," Obi-Wan
continued, his eyes closed as he rested in the warmth of their
closeness, his face pressed against his master's collarbone.
"We haven't had a chance to hold our ceremony. And I want to
make life vows with you when I'm a Knight, too. If... you want
that, too, of course." [Please, please... me, not Raen or
Jil-Ba...]
"Obi-Wan... we cannot even talk about that now..." Qui-Gon
sighed. He was aching no less than his student. But the subject
was one he would not discuss with his padawan learner. Not yet.
Not until he was sure he needed to.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan sighed.
Master Healers Hyr and Windsailor were meeting with High Health
Councilor Fli-Bas Larr, a tall stately woman with upswept hair
of pure silver. Though she was not a Force-sensitive, they
could nevertheless discern that she was a powerful telepath.
"Master Healer Hyr," she was saying in a lilting accented Basic
that echoed their friend Qui-Gon's, "You have come to the right
place. What you describe is known to us. May I see their
genetic profiles and the rest of your test data, please?"
The Healers shared all they had with her. After poring over the
data, Councilor Larr looked at the genetic profiles last. By
now she was nodding and looking extremely pleased, which put
the Jedi at ease, though they were intensely curious.
"So, what do we have here?" Makol' Windsailor had to ask
finally.
The Councilor looked up and beamed at him. "The odds against
these two finding each other in the Jedi Order are fairly high,
Master Healer. I am excited because what you have is a rare and
treasured pair of individuals among our people - you have an
Oraclyne!"
The Healers looked at one another. "What's an Oraclyne,
Councilor?" Hyr asked patiently.
She made a rude noise, then chuckled. "Jedi Healers don't know
what an Oraclyne is... well, I suppose everything has to have a
first time. Be sure you document this completely - you'll be
wanting this for your Temple archives. An Oraclyne is a pair of
highly empathic telepaths who are, of course, physically
imprinted on each other, which has the effect of not doubling,
but actually quadrupling their healing powers."
"Healing!" Makol' exclaimed in surprise.
"Why, yes, these are two Jedi Healers we're talking about,
right?" The Councilor looked from one to the other, puzzled.
"Er, no, actually one is a Master Diplomat and probably the
most effective negotiator we have... the other is his
apprentice and so also of the Jedi Diplomat Discipline," Gali
Hyr explained. "So this imprinting makes them, ah, very
effective healers, you're saying?"
The woman laughed, then explained quickly, "You must meet our
Oraclyne. We have one pair on Zevdra. The other is on Bajrhen -
that is the apprentice's home planet, correct?"
"Yes..."
Fli-Bas Larr smiled and nodded. "Let me tell you the story,
then. Over ten thousand years ago, the Zevdrani and the
Bajrheni were one people. Bajrhen was settled, then because of
a plague, the two peoples no longer mingled for nearly one
thousand years. After they were reunited, it was discovered
that one Zevdrani and one Bajrheni who had a very high
telepathic and empathic potential became extraordinary healers
once they partnered together. This phenomenon repeated itself
over the years, never more than two or three pairs at any one
time. They're always of the same gender, so this is not an
affinity that is passed down to children, but just something
that now exists in our genetic makeup. We cannot predict when
this will occur. All children are tested for their potentials
when they are five years old, which is why these two
individuals were missed. They were sent to Coruscant to be Jedi
long before that time."
The Healers exchanged wondering glances. Because the Jedi did
not know of this phenomenon, no one, including Yoda who knew of
their potentials, would have known this could happen.
"Those who are marked as possible candidates for the Oraclyne,"
Larr continued, "are introduced to the candidates from the
other planet in hopes of becoming a part of an Oraclyne. The
last pair to be so joined first met twenty-five years ago. As
you might guess, there are very few who even become
candidates."
"So they're not Force-sensitive, these other two Oraclyne
pairs?" Gali asked suddenly. He had the feeling that Qui-Gon
and Obi-Wan were not going to be forming the usual Oraclyne.
The Councilor looked surprised. "Oh - I never thought of that!
No, of course not, for with their potentials, they would have
been recruited to become Jedi if they had your Force-sense. We
are proud of those from this planet who become Jedi. It is a
great honor for a family to have a Force-sensitive child who is
chosen."
"We need to know everything about the Oraclyne," Makol' sighed.
"Councilor Larr, I think we may have the first Force-sensitive
Oraclyne waiting for us back on Coruscant."
She shook her head, incredulous. "And you tell me they're NOT
Healers? How did that happen? Just their empathy ratings should
have alerted you to their potential."
The Jedi exchanged glances yet again. Gali spoke for them both.
"Ah, genetic profiles and telepathic/empathic ratings are
guarded by the Jedi High Council. I do not know why neither of
them were trained to be Healers. Master Jinn is, however, known
to be closely attuned to the Living Force, true, but he was
trained in the Diplomat Discipline and since he was Knighted,
his work has always been such. And he has been a very effective
Diplomat, we've been told."
"Though I'm sure he could be amenable to learning our
Discipline," Makol' added, then frowned when she shook her
head.
"Actually, you'll be learning from him, them," Larr countered.
"When I say 'extraordinary' - you have no idea what I really
mean. You must see our Oraclyne."
The Zevdrani Oraclyne consisted of a pair of women, one in her
early thirties, the other apparently in her late thirties. Each
was called an Oraclys, but generally they were referred to
together as Oraclyne. Evidently highly revered by all, the
Oraclyne lived in a lovely, spread-out complex that included
substantial gardens, a hospital, and a school for their local
healers. Their accommodations were comfortable but not lavish,
as they preferred simplicity.
That they were a closely bonded pair was obvious. Lu-Pai and
Be-Kiv showed an extreme physical awareness of each other, and
their frequently exchanged looks were loving. "The Jedi have
remarkable healing powers as well, all of you, is that right?"
Lu-Pai asked, her fingers entwined with her partner's though
they sat a bit apart on the low sofa, facing the two Jedi
Healers. They'd looked curiously from one to the other - the
dark-haired human and the strange-looking man with the tall
feather crest on his head and the hump on his back where his
wings were folded.
"Yes, every Jedi can Force-heal," Makol' replied, nodding. "It
enables us to survive until we can get treatment. Sometimes
even grave injuries can be healed over time. It varies - the
more empathic the Jedi, the more they can heal. Master Diplomat
Qui-Gon Jinn once healed his apprentice's broken leg in a
matter of an hour while the boy was in the bacta tank."
The two women as one shot a glance at Councilor Larr. "This is
one of the two Jedi who are becoming Oraclyne?" Be-Kiv asked.
"Yes," Fli-Bas Larr replied. "The Master and his apprentice, it
seems. The boy, well, he's not a boy anymore - he's a man now,
for he's eighteen years old."
"Oh... well, he's long past becoming a man by our standards."
The women looked at one another with sort of a smirk. "They are
lovers already, of course?"
Now the Jedi looked at one another. //What?//
//Master Jinn believes...//
//They are very attached to one another, but I'm sure...//
"No," they said together, though they did not know for sure.
Gali finished, "An apprentice normally may only have sexual
relations with other apprentices, never Knights or Masters.
Once he is a Senior Padawan - that would be eighteen years of
age for humans - he may choose any partner. Obi-Wan has reached
the level of Senior Padawan, but his master does not want to
consider a relationship with him until he is Knighted. It's a
common way of doing things. There's no rule against them being
together sooner, though."
Be-Kiv laughed merrily. "It's not likely either of them will
have any interest in anyone else, Master Healers. "Lu and I
have been lovers since I was fourteen. But then our people tend
to mature early... and live long."
"That's a concern," Gali spoke up, his crest feathers flaring
with a surge of emotion. "There are thirty years difference in
their ages."
"Thirty!" All three Zevdrani looked horrified. Larr added, "So
many years to go by without meeting one's Oraclyne partner... a
tragedy. But at least they have found one another at last. No
more wasted time - they must become an Oraclyne."
Makol' was puzzled. The age difference was apparently not an
issue. "But what are the implications to them personally?
You..." he indicated the Oraclyne, "you were put together when
Be-Kiv was a child, when you were found to be matched. You were
allowed to imprint naturally. These two Jedi have developed
separately, the apprentice already a man."
"We're going to need help with them," Gali added with a sigh.
Fli-Bas shook her head. "They're having problems? There's no
attachment between them other than their roles as master and
apprentice?"
The Healers considered this. Makol' privately shared an image
with Gali: an unguarded look on Qui-Gon's face when they were
giving Obi-Wan one of the tests. There had been a light in the
man's eyes when he looked at his apprentice... and later,
Makol' had seen the same in Obi-Wan's eyes. Clearly the young
man worshipped his master, but that wasn't so unusual. Master
Yoda had told them of the pair's earlier history - Xanatos,
Bandomeer... Melida/Daan. There had been much to bond them
together. "There is an attachment," Makol' answered for them
both finally. "I do not think they will have problems
personally with this. The problem will come in blending the
Oraclyne with the Jedi Code. They will have to adjust... the
Order will have to adjust. Their work will change
dramatically. They are trained in our Diplomat Discipline, not
the Healer Discipline."
"The age difference means little, actually," Lu-Pai commented.
"One reported Oraclyne pair had an age difference of forty-five
years. Almost always the elder of the two is Zevdrani. Another
genetic quirk of ours is that the Zevdrani tend to outlive
Bajrheni by some fifty years. Your Master Diplomat Jinn might
otherwise outlive his young apprentice. As it is, the Oraclyne
connection will tend to even out their physical age. Kiv and I
are eighteen years apart, though I'm told we look more like
less than ten years apart. I wouldn't worry about your pair in
that regard."
"That will be a relief to them both," Makol' murmured. "Tell me
- what happens to one if the other dies?"
The Oraclyne froze. "They die together, Master Healer," Larr
murmured quietly. "And they would have it no other way. The
imprinting, you see. Physically their life forces are so
blended that what happens to one, affects the other. But not
like you think - if one is injured, the other automatically
must work to heal the other. It's one reason why we do not
allow them to travel much. The Oraclyne is a sacred and revered
part of our society. The gravely ill come to them, those
troubled, those with mental difficulties. The healing received
is not always what is asked. Often an illness is eased only so
the sick person may bear it. The Oraclyne do not decide this -
their powers do. We do not have a formal religion, but we do
believe there are mighty powers unknown to us. I suspect your
Force is strong here."
The Jedi had already noted that. "Yes, it is," Makol' affirmed.
"Perhaps the Force works through the Oraclyne without their
awareness. Master Jinn and Senior Padawan Kenobi, however, have
that awareness. It shapes a Jedi's whole life, their whole
perception of life."
"Can you demonstrate your healing power somehow?" Gali asked.
Lu and Kiv looked at one another. The Jedi waited patiently
while a telepathic exchange ensued, then the elder Oraclys
spoke. "Ordinarily, Master Healer, we would never 'demonstrate'
our power. We do not use it when it is not needed. But in this
case, if our demonstration may assist you in the development of
another Oraclyne, then it is warranted. However, we will need
to end this interview for the day at the conclusion, as we may
be wearied. We can meet with you other days as needed before
you return to Coruscant."
Both Jedi bowed their heads. "This is acceptable," Gali
responded.
"Honorables," a voice spoke from the entrance to the solarium
where they were meeting. A young woman stood there, holding a
baby. Lu-Pai gestured for her to come in, then explained to the
Jedi, "I asked our clerk to see if there had been any petitions
in the past hour. She has sent over this woman whose child is
ill." She rose from the couch and went to the woman, murmuring
words of encouragement.
In moments, the Oraclyne pair were fussing and cooing over the
child, putting the mother at ease as they examined her infant.
After a brief discussion, Kiv looked over to the Jedi Healers
again. "The child has suffered a burn. Ordinarily we do not
expend our energy on this kind of simple healing, but there is
no one else right now and Madam Falin has assented to the
demonstration." She smiled kindly at the woman again.
"May we approach?" Gali asked quietly. The head crest had
folded down, making him look a bit more human.
The mother of the child nodded shyly. The Jedi rose from their
chairs and came forward to kneel on the floor before the women
so they could watch. They sat back on their heels and folded
their deep blue robes around them.
The Oraclyne laid their hands on the baby, who lay in its
mother's lap between them. The Jedi could now see that the
infant's left hand and forearm were severely burned. //Simple
healng?// Gali sent to his companion.
//For these, perhaps,// Makol' reminded him silently. They were
becoming aware of a gathering of energies in the Oraclyne, a
slow surge of the Force. //You and I can heal something like
this if given time, though this is more the sort of thing for a
bacta tank. Perhaps access here is limited. Regardless, this
already feels very much like a Force-healing.//
//Yes,// the senior Healer replied. //But though they are
strong in the Force, they cannot sense it, they are blind to
it. Their physical imprinting and mental connection is what
allows them to use the Force like this. It's largely
unconscious, automatic on their part. Can you imagine what a
Jedi Oraclyne could do?//
Makol' nodded slightly. //But what a burden - they can cure
whole plagues, avert the effects of natural disasters on an
ecology...//
//We do not know that, Maki',// Gali returned quickly. //All I
know is that I want to help our brethren to become the Oraclyne
that they can become. You know the Council. They do not like
new things.//
The Jedi Healers settled in to watch. Already they could see
and sense how the child's flesh was being healed from the
inside out. Concentrating, they fine-tuned their own
Force-sense to actually watch the process take place, the cells
heal, blood vessels re-knit. The healing was very similar to an
accelerated Jedi healing. And the realization sobered them that
what Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan would be able to do would be
substantially more than this. Far more than any Jedi Healer had
ever been able to do.
Archive 