Archive: master_apprentice, World O' Pretty Boys, anyone else,
pls. ask
Author's web page: http://www.ravenswing.com/ravendreams/
Category: Angst, POV
Rating: G
Warnings: The scene that didn't happen in TPM, happened.
Pairing: Q/O
Spoilers: none
Summary: Qui-Gon waits for Obi-Wan. A stand-alone sequel to
"Closing My Eyes"
Notes: Thanks, as always, to Velma for the beta, the
discussions, the endless nagging. Thanks to bat and MJ for the
support. All mistakes are mine
Feedback: Waited for with bated breath.
Disclaimers: Lucas owns it all. I don't have enough money to
pay attention.
I have watched you for ages, my Padawan. I have watched as you
have battled against the Darkness. I have watched as the smooth
fullness of your cheeks wrinkled against the constant erosion
of the desert sands. I have watched as your humor died in agony
and then rebuilt itself, a phoenix. I have watched your hair
fade along with your hope.
I have watched every sleepless night that you reached for me,
and every dream- filled night when your arms ached to be
filled.
I have to believe you felt my touch, my heart, my tears as I
reached for you. I have waited, spending endless nights running
my hands along shoulders that could not feel me. I have
watched, needing to comfort a heart that might not know of my
presence.
Over and over again, I have ached to share my pride in you, for
the determination with which you trained Anakin. I saw every
moment, my Obi-Wan, every single failure, every single success.
I could see that you cared for him, that you did not
shortchange him. Did you know the tears you shed at his loss
fell upon my face? You could not have made me more proud.
You have lived so long, so many years, alone. My Obi-Wan, who
was once the bright center of a circle of fun-loving children,
doggedly living the life of a hermit in the middle of
desolation. You have sat watching as Anakin's son grew,
preparing yourself to do the one thing your heart screams to
never try again -- train this boy.
With patience and with that reborn humor, train him you did,
with the time you had. Gathering that scared young man into the
path the Force has opened for him. You left your home to the
sand, your brother to the flames and your fears to the winds.
What did you take with you, beloved? Your sense of humor, your
lightsaber and a ragged piece of cloth tucked into a pocket in
your cloak.
On the smuggler's ship, you were calm, gently reassuring and
comforting the young man who was being hurtled headlong into
his destiny. As you left Luke to sleep, I was not surprised to
see you pull that scrap of beige material out and spread it
across your thin pillow. I could see the shimmer of your tears
as you nestled against it. I heard you whisper, "Qui-Gon, my
Qui-Gon."
My Padawan, my Obi-Wan, did you feel me? Did you sense me as I
slid down next to you, holding you, wanting to soothe? Did you
feel as I touched your hair, the silvery strands that in my
memory will always by copper? I have to believe you know that I
am with you, for even after all this time, you still call for
me when you sleep.
There is a part of me that would take this all from you, this
pain, this loss. Part of me says that to have left you in
Bandomeer, left you to the Agri-Corps, would have been a
kindness. I do know the Force does not have you suffer for
naught. I know your tears have bought hope and time and, in
some way, balance. The selfish part of me believes the light of
our love was worth any amount of suffering. The few years we
had together are an incandescence within me.
I am waiting for you, Padawan mine. Watching you now as I have
watched you always. The remains of the body that once housed
the soul of a good man are coming ever nearer. He will free
you, uncage you from the pain of a body gone old, release you
at long last into my care.
As you hurry towards your final confrontation, I move beside
you. I can feel the tension building inside you, the concern
"My Obi-Wan," I whisper. "Be at peace. Soon I will hold you in
my arms again. Soon our minds will dance together through
eternity."
For the first time I know without question that you hear me,
feel my love surrounding you. Your face relaxes, tension
easing, and you whisper, "Master."
As you battle with the Darkness, I feel your heart as it
lightens, singing in harmony with mine. I can see the Force as
it spins around us, the Light pulsating as the moment of your
relief draws near. You wait, assuring yourself that you follow
the will of the Force, and then you drop your guard.
I see you, standing before me, at once the coppery-haired youth
I trained, the firm- jawed man I desired and the wearied Jedi I
admired. Shimmering tears escape from your clenched eyelids and
your fists are bunched within your robes. Leaning down, I take
your hand, caressing it gently, feeling whole for the first
time in decades as our bond flames into existence.
"You waited for me." Your voice is full of wonder.
"Did you ever doubt?" I feel your smile in my toes; your
laughter is enormous, crashing over me.
"When I reached for you?" The memories of waiting are fading
into ash as you twine your fingers with mine.
"I was there." Please my Obi-Wan, release yourself and come
with me. Let the Force, which you have suffered for, comfort
us.
Slowly, the eyelids began to open, the clouds within those
green eyes gone forever. You move into my arms, your gaze never
leaving my face. As I lean down to kiss you, to welcome you, to
feel you, I hear you whisper,
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