Archive: Yes for M_A archive all others please ask
Category: Humor
Rating: G
Warnings: This hasn't been Betaed proceed at your own risk.
Summary: Yoda spends a day as an office assistant.
Feedback: Sure
Notes: This plot bunny just came out of no where and bit me
last night. Thanks to the IRC crowd for your help and prodding
to get me to post this.
Relyn Hothson, the office manager entered her den and found,
for lack of a better description a green troll sitting in the
spot that her assistant Dt'Ritha normally worked at."
"Excuse me who are you and were is Dt'Ritha?"
The green troll looked up from the Galactic Cosmo magazine it
was reading, "Fallen to the Dark Side she has Ms Hothson, Yoda
I am. Assist you today I shall."
Yoda, that name rang a bell, oh Sith, "Jedi Council member
Yoda? Why are you here surely the office pool could supply
someone else?"
"Call me not Shirley, Yoda my name is. Budget cuts force many
Jedi to the Coruscant office pool."
I heard a shout from the hall as another Jedi ran down the hall
screaming "Master Qui-Gon save me!" while being hunted by the
women from the south cluster of offices.
Then an answering shout, "Save yourself Padawan I've got my own
problems." and another stampede of man hungry women thundered
by my door.
Yoda sighed and shook his head, "Stayed at the temple they
should have. Dangerous for them to be alone with that many
women. Perform they want them to all the time."
"Well time is money. So let's get to work. Those two are Jedi
they can save themselves or perform themselves into a coma.
I've got over 2000 spread sheet and databases that have to be
updated. Not to mention 500 communications I need to have typed
up. So lets get started." she said after realizing that she was
going to be able to order around a Jedi Master. 'Pity those
other two were being hunted, they might have been fun.' She
thought.
The office manager noticed that around mid morning Yoda was
grooming his fingers at the desk. I went out to ask him to get
me a extra strength double quad latte, extra sweet, and triple
chocolate.
"Busy I am." He said grooming his fingers while typing the
communications and entering the database and spreadsheet
information using the Force. "Your own refreshment you must
seek. Since going that way you are a Jedi sized iced mocha I
would like." He said waving his hand in front of my face.
The rest of the day passed well Yoda was actually carving a
dent in the mountain of paperwork. About an hour before the
work day ended he came in to my office. "An error you made." He
pointed to two columns. "Correct them you must and authorize
the change before turned in it can be." I quickly made the
changes and took the papers back to his desk.
Then the door flew open and the two Jedi from earlier rushed in
the younger one slammed the door shut moving a chair to brace
it. While the older one slid on his knees the tattered remains
of his dark brown Jedi cloak flapping behind him, "Master help
us you are our only hope."
The younger Jedi also looked pleadingly to Yoda, "Please Master
Yoda. Those women are from the Dark Side."
"Obi-Wan, from the Dark Side they are not. Deprived of men they
are. Temptation to them you both are. Reason for you to stay at
the Temple this was." Yoda scolded rapping his cane on the
floor.
"Master we will listen to your wisdom from now on in this
matter." The middle aged Jedi groveled. "Please get us out of
here alive."
"One condition I ask. You and your padawan, help me you must to
finish the work." Yoda said.
"Yes, anything." They all but shouted.
"Obi-Wan spreadsheets do you will. Qui-Gon databases your task
it is. Communications finish I shall." Yoda ordered.
The office manager was surprised that the work was finally
caught up in a matter of minutes with three Jedi busily working
away at multiple entries at once.
"Done we are Ms Hothson leave for the day we will." Yoda told
the manager.
"How will we escape the lust driven horde outside, O wise Jedi
Master." Qui-Gon said the last bit sarcastically.
Yoda didn't put up with that tone from his former Padawan and
thwacked Qui-Gon's shins with his walking stick. "Pay attention
on Amazonia you should have instead of doing what you did." To
Obi-Wan he said, "In the infirmary for a month, he was. Extreme
exhaustion, luckily Jedi he was. His actions another would have
killed."
"Master, my Padawan doesn't need to know about that planet,"
Qui-Gon said rubbing his sore shin.
"Then next time my warning you will listen. Humph." Yoda said
hitting his stick on the ground. "Miss your help need we will."
He said to Ms Hothson.
The crowd outside the door were soon treated to a half hour of
moans, groans, and some 'oh yes more you Jedi stud you.' Ten
minutes after the last obviously orgasmic screams a very sated
looking Relyn Hothson stepped out with a rumpled Yoda who was
pushing a cart containing all the spreadsheet and database
printouts.
"Where are the other two? We followed them to this door." One
of the women demanded.
"Not in my office. Just me and this masterful Jedi, and
I'm taking this one home." Relyn said seductively caressing the
tips of Yoda's ears, making him purr. "You're welcome to look
in there just put everything back the way it was."
Yoda and Relyn left pushing the cart until they reached the
archive room where the two other Jedi squirmed out of the cart.
"Thank you, we both are in your debt." Qui-Gon said before he
and Obi-Wan left to return to the temple.
"See you tomorrow I shall." Yoda said as they left the
building.
"Yes, just make sure those two Jedi of yours truly stay at the
temple. My throat couldn't take another act like that. Even if
it was a good trick." She laughed remembering how her and Yoda
had 'performed' for the crowd outside the door. Sitting across
from each other not even touching. Some people were so
gullible.
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