CATEGORY: PWP,Humour, and there's a silly poem involved.
RATING: Hm, PG 13 we think
WARNINGS: These are only bits of conversation, no plot, no hot
sex, no nothing. We plan on making this a series, though.
SPOILERS: none
SUMMARY: bits of 'maybe' conversations that came to Morty's and
my mind while we were sitting in a restaurant waiting for
dinner. Don't take them too serious, please.
FEEDBACK: Yeah, why not. Anything goes. Send it to either
Annon_Vahai@hotmail.com or Velaxis_99@hotmail.com
AUTHORS'NOTES: Life in Germany gets to us, I think. Yesterday,
we ate "Sauerkraut" for the first time in our lives, and you
now have to suffer for it. There. Besides, Morty is letting her
hair grow, and I try to stop smoking, so we're in a foul mood.
`Nuff said.
APOLOGIES: We are both pretty sure that we plagiarised scenes
from other author's stories. If anyone finds something that
belongs in one of her/his stories,please yell at us off-list,
and we're gonna re-post with the names attached, or take that
Oddity out of the posting. No harm intented.
Oddity One
"Master?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan?"
"I can't eat that."
"Why not? It's delicious."
"It's still moving."
"You feast on me all the time, and I'm moving too."
"Sorry to bust your bubble, but between you and this hairy
ball, there actually is a difference."
"Strange, as far as I recall, you were quite fond of hairy
balls last night."
"Yeah, but those balls didn't blink at me when I tried to put
them in my mouth."
"Maybe you just weren't looking hard enough?"
"Interesting choice of words. What part of me are you referring
to?"
"Get your mind out of the gutter and eat, Obi-Wan."
"No thanks, I think I'll stick to bread and fruit. Wanna have
my hairy ball?"
"Anytime, Obi-Wan. Anytime."
Oddity Two
"Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, Master?"
"I can't believe you told them that."
"Oh, be quiet already, will you? At least I had
something to tell them and explain why we need soundproof
windows and walls. As far as I remember, you all but stood
there with the weirdest shade of red on your face I have seen
in all my life! One more minute, and I'd have expected to see
you splattered across the Council Chamber walls!!"
"Did not!"
"Did too."
A MOMENT OF COMPANIONABLE WALKING FOLLOWS.
"So, Obi-Wan, fancy that new hobby of yours? I've been told
banearian bag pipes improve the lung capac - "
"Qui-Gon, don't make me hurt you."
"Under the right circumstances, in the right places..."
"RRrrrrrrr!"
"Uh, tiger!"
Oddity Three
"Emotions in turmoil lead to the Dark Side, padawan."
"What if I serenely kick your ass?"
"That is...uhm."
"Pfeh. Gottcha."
"How can you serenely kick someone?!"
"Watch me."
"OW!!"
"See? I'm perfectly calm, and - Qui-Gon, wait. It was a
joke! HEY!! WAIT!! NO! NOT THE FOUNT-"
SPLASH
"I hope you've learned you lesson, padawan. Never taunt your
master!"
"Did I just become subject to you giving in to anger, honey?"
"You'll become subject to my boot unremovably stuck up your ass
in a minute."
"I'd rather have something else stuck up there, thank you."
"Oh really?"
"AAAAAUUUUURRGH!!! THAT'S COLD!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT,
I DON'T NEED AN ENEMA!! I - ooooohhhh....."
"Nice, huh?"
"Get in here so I can serenely ravage you."
Oddity Four
"Good evening, padawan. Did you have a nice day?"
"Yes, mas - oh, cut the crap. I'm home now."
"Right. So, how was your day?"
"I think 'interesting' pretty much covers it."
"Care to elaborate?"
"Uh..."
SOUNDS BODY SETTLING DOWN ON COUCH NEXT TO LARGER BODY
"I think I'll give you the present first."
"A present?"
"Yes. Here."
WE HEAR A JAW DROP LIKE A LEADWEIGHT, CLUNKING AS IT HITS
THE FLOOR
"Uh."
"Yes, Qui-Gon?"
"Words fail me."
"Nice to hear you like it."
"What the hell is that?"
"A cock cozy."
IT'S A SHAME QUI-GON DOESN'T HAVE TWO JAWS, BECAUSE THIS
SECOND ONE WOULD GO RIGHT THROUGH THE FLOOR AND CAVE SOMEONE'S
HEAD IN
"What ?!"
"Wow, I didn't know your voice can do that!"
"What !?"
"Alright, alright, it's a cock cozy. I knitted it myself."
"I'm going to throttle the little green troll ! Making you knit
me a - a ..."
"Hey, it really wasn't that bad. Besides, I liked doing it, and
since Master Yoda's knitting class is only one day, I picked
something small."
"Small."
"Uh, well...."
"Come here so I can show you small...."
"Help? Anyone?"
Oddity Five
( the authors would like the readers to know that this poem was
written under the influence of Sauerkraut and chocolate )
" Oh my tall and handsome master
You who shields me from desaster
You whose hair all salt'n'pepper
Makes you look so niiiice and dapper :
May your wisdom never fail you
May your eyesight always be true
May your hands not lose their grasp
On my hungry little arse!
Oh my tall and handsome master
You who fires like a blaster
You who holds up every farce
With your fingers up my arse :
May your stamina never fail
While you make me trash and wail
You are always in my heart
And in my rectum like a deep fart!"
STUNNED SILENCE
"What? Didn't you like it?"
"Obi-Wan, I recommend a serious reduction of your sugar
intake."
"You didn't answer my question."
"It was...enlightening."
"Really? So, you think I can read it in class tomorrow?"
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