Warnings: If you need warnings for m/m sex, you're reading the
wrong list.
Spoilers: A couple vague ones for JA events
Summary: A broken heart leads to unexpected consequences, and
the Council decides to stick their noses where they don't
belong, as usual. However, love prevails.
Feedback: This is my first real slash stuff, I would appreciate
constructive criticism. However, unabashed raves are always
welcome. Heh.
Disclaimer: Playing in the House that George built. His toys,
his house, his game, his money, his lawyers. In short, George
Rules. In shorter short, I ain't touching his racket with a ten
foot pole.
Inspired by this nifty pic:
http://homepage1.nifty.com/hugibirdoffice/cibiobi.htm
References: Qui-Gon's sonnet is from Edna St. Vincent Millay.
Obi-Wan's poem is from W. B. Yeats. The title "Love Knoweth No
Law" is a quote from John Lyly.
Note: Brackets [ ] denote telepathy.
Qui-Gon Jinn strode into the Temple's dining room and skirted
around the giggling throngs of children at the Initiate's
tables, smiling at the older children who were watching over
the younglings. He made his way to the first of the Master's
tables as Adralin and Windu waved him over to their table,
swung his cloak off and tossed it over the back of his chair as
he sat down.
"So, Qui-Gon, you made it back from V'Gela," Windu said as
Qui-Gon reached for a clean plate and began to scoop out some
mashed tatos from the bowl nearby.
"Barely, but yes," Qui-Gon answered as Adralin passed him the
bowl of greensprout salad. "I'm already on the roster for the
Council tomorrow, so you'll hear the whole story. So what's
been going on here since we left?"
The big stone-walled room echoed faintly with the sounds of
children giggling as the meal progressed. Over against the far
wall the Padawan tables were full of teenagers talking
animatedly or laughing, kidding their friends or gesturing as
they tried to illustrate lightsaber moves or the punchlines of
jokes. The low hum of servomotors heralded the approach of
trundler droids as the mechanicals brought fresh bowls of food
to each table and made their way back to the kitchens with
empty bowls and piles of dishes. Qui-Gon relaxed into the
welcoming atmosphere, eating hungrily as Windu and Adralin
caught him up on the latest Temple gossip. Which in Adralin's
case also included Senate gossip as he was on permanent
assignment to the Chancellor's office since an unfortunate
accident some years ago on a mission left him hobbling with a
partially paralyzed leg. The older Jedi now wore loose flowing
robes instead of the more practical trousers and tunics, the
better to hide the brace that encased the injured leg.
"So where's your Padawan, Qui-Gon?" Windu asked at last,
settling back in his chair with a bowl of gumpta berry cobbler.
"He's not here?" Qui-Gon asked, looking over again toward the
Padawan tables. "He said he wouldn't be long --"
"There he is," Adralin said, nodding toward the door. "Almost
too late for dinner."
Indeed. Obi-Wan Kenobi now stood just inside the doorway of the
dining room, blue-green eyes scanning the Padawan tables,
searching for someone. An anxious expression spread over the
young face, tension in the slim muscled frame, then he tossed
his braid back over his shoulder impatiently and whirled back
out the door.
"Well!" Windu said with a grin. "Guess he's not hungry."
"He's always hungry," Qui-Gon said absently. "I think he's
finally starting to grow some."
"Won't be the runt of the creche much longer then," Adralin
said with a chuckle.
"He never was," Qui-Gon defended loyally. "He's just built
smaller. Balance in everything, you know. For every Dordel-kan
there has to be an Obi-Wan."
The other two chuckled at the reminder of Adralin's apprentice,
a thick-muscled, massive native of Aldhara Beta, with a sunny
bumbling good nature. Dordel-kan had been Knighted some years
before and divided his time now between bringing peace in
volatile situations and taking care of his Master. The young
Knight's imposing physical appearance was often quite an
advantage in convincing squabbling planetary officials that
they really needed to get along with each other.
Something Obi-Wan would have no problem accomplishing on
charm alone, Qui-Gon thought with a slight smile.
It was well after midnight and at least three hours past
Padawan's Curfew when Qui-Gon felt the brush of his
apprentice's mind just before the door of their rooms slid
open.
"Obi-Wan?" the Master asked softly as he took in his
apprentice's state. The eighteen-year-old former "runt of the
creche" had grown into a gangly, slightly awkward young man
with stunning teal blue eyes and golden hair that sometimes
glinted with hints of red in bright sunlight. Now those glowing
blue-green eyes were lowered to the floor in shame and misery,
and there were grass stains on his trousers. Qui-Gon could feel
his Padawan's desperate sadness even through the shields
Obi-Wan was trying so hard to maintain. "What's happened? Where
have you been? I was worried --"
Obi-Wan choked on a sob as Qui-Gon put the book he'd been
reading down on the table by the sofa and held out his arms to
his apprentice. The Padawan took one shaky, tear-filled look
and dove into the comfort those open arms offered.
"Ssshh, hey now, it's all right," Qui-Gon murmured as the
youngster buried his face in the Master's tunic and started
crying in earnest. The Master gathered the gangly teenager in
and tucked the bristly golden hair under his cheek. "What's
happened? And no, you don't have to move away, silly," he said
with a chuckle as Obi-Wan tried to pull away. The Master smiled
a little and tightened his arms around the thin shoulders. "You
were down in the gardens, weren't you?"
Obi-Wan nodded slightly. "Yes, Master. Trying to meditate after
--" A shivering clutching breath and Obi-Wan sniffled and hid
his face against the warmth of his Master's tunic.
"After what? Shall I go get the honey and fire-ants to make you
talk?"
That surprised a laugh out of the distraught apprentice, as did
the fingers that were gently tickling his ribs to illustrate
the "threat". He squirmed a little and brought up a hand to try
and wipe his tears away but Qui-Gon's hand was there first with
a corner of his tunic sleeve. "Do you know Master Druselli's
Padawan, Amia?"
"I've seen her a few times, yes. She's a couple years older
than you. Ah, yes, I remember now, she's the one you were so
taken with the last time we were home."
Obi-Wan nodded a little. "Before the Betala negotiations, when
we were home for those six weeks. Amia and I got...close. Or I
thought we did. I thought we had a promise together....and now
I'm home again and she -- I found her in the Hall of Changes
with --"
Qui-Gon put a gentle finger over his apprentice's lips,
stilling the words and the young voice that had cracked as the
tale rushed out. "Someone else."
Obi-Wan nodded. "Very much with someone else."
"Ah," Qui-Gon said, understanding, as the emotions flickered
through Obi-Wan's mind before he could shield. Fury and grief
and disbelief so strong it surprised the Master, knowing as he
did his beloved apprentice's usual bubbling laughing serenity.
Absently he smoothed the soft golden hair and sighed with his
own weary sadness for his apprentice. "So what did you do?"
A shrug of one shoulder. "Turned around and left. Went to the
gardens and tried to meditate. But it didn't work."
"It doesn't always, Padawan," Qui-Gon said softly. "You forgot
your chrono, didn't you? It's well after curfew and time you
should be in bed."
Obi-Wan shivered a little. "I don't think I can sleep anyway."
"Yes you can," Qui-Gon said. He loosened his arms and indicated
Obi-Wan should get up from his lap. "Go get cleaned up, and you
can sleep with me tonight if you wish."
Obi-Wan just nodded silently, but the wistful relief was very
real.
They had found some years ago that they were both profoundly
comforted by the other's presence if they slept together.
Qui-Gon had deduced from his discussions with other Masters
that his bond with Obi-Wan was much stronger and deeper than
that shared by other Master and Padawan pairs. The two had
always been physically demonstrative in their affection toward
each other. Obi-Wan was an affectionate, loving boy and Qui-Gon
was anything but immune to those big blue-green eyes. Quite the
contrary. He rejoiced in their bond, delighted to feel the
bright strong young mind lightly touching his even in sleep.
And watched in wonder as the spindly form grew into a
quicksilver strength, sparking off new depths in the Master's
feelings for his apprentice. He began to suspect it was
something more than the simple love they'd always shared.
He rose as Obi-Wan disappeared into the bathroom and reached up
to retrieve the small hoverlight that bobbed above the sofa,
switched it off and put it back in it's recharger on the
bookshelf. In a moment the only light was from the wide windows
and the constant stitched lines of ships' running lights
outside the Temple. He hurried to change into the old frayed
shirt and workout pants he slept in as Obi-Wan ducked briefly
into his room to change into his own sleepwear after his bath.
Qui-Gon was waiting for him as Obi-Wan appeared at the door of
his Master's room, the cluttered sanctuary of books and
datareaders and keepsakes from dozens of missions, the big
holomap of Eridani Prime on the wall over the tiny desk, the
kinetic hologram sculpture spinning slowly in soothing
convolutions in the corner. Obi-Wan secretly suspected his
Master was nothing more than a Padawan who'd somehow convinced
the Council to make him a Master. His own room and that of his
contemporaries wasn't much different from this clutter of his
Master's.
"Come on, Padawan. You have practice and classes tomorrow. For
now, sleep is what you need."
Obi-Wan sighed as he obediently slid under the blankets his
Master held open for him, cuddled down against the solid
warmth. Strong arms and legs curled around him and he dropped
off to sleep snuggled in warm darkness.
Obi-Wan woke to the first rays of dawn slanting in the window
beside the bed in amber bars of light. Even after only a few
hours of sleep here in his Master's arms he felt amazingly
peaceful and rested. Able, perhaps, to squarely face what had
transpired the night before.
In his own peculiar way, he began to examine all the factors in
the situation one by one, establishing facts from opinion and
assumption.
Fact: He and Amia hadn't actually made any promises to each
other, verbally or otherwise. In actuality it had been mostly a
silent dare. She'd been tutoring him in Inner Worlds History,
helping him catch up with his yearmates before an important
year exam that his Master had been unaware (or had forgotten)
would take place a month after they returned to the Temple.
History being not one of his Master's best subjects, he
realized he was woefully behind and started cramming every
night with Amia's help as she was the teaching assistant for
the class. Obi-Wan soon found he had a massive crush on the
confident, assertive, fiesty black-haired Padawan.
Fact: She'd played on those feelings. He couldn't deny it to
himself now. After the two months they'd been away he realized
now she had been leading him on. Probably hadn't been a
difficult task, he admitted ruefully to himself. He'd been like
a lovesick peko, almost following her around the Temple.
Assumption: He'd assumed there was a great deal more there than
had actually existed. His own imagination had supplied all the
details. Including any promises or commitments.
The exam had been given and Obi-Wan had emerged relatively
whole that afternoon, all the jitters of the test thankfully
expended. He'd immediately gone to find Amia. He'd made a
promise to himself, at least, to try to scrape up his courage
enough to try something with her the night after the exam. Then
reality had intervened in the form of his Master, who'd found
him as he was on Amia's trail. The Council had only been
waiting for Obi-Wan to take his exam before they sent them out
again on another assignment. They'd left within three hours.
Obi-Wan had kept silent about his plans and about the challenge
he'd seen in Amia's eyes the day before, the challenge that
screamed "Are you going to sit there with your brains leaking
out your ears for the next year, or are you going to do
something Kenobi?"
Now, lying here safe and warm in his Master's arms, he could
face it. He'd been a total fool and all the hurt he'd felt last
night had been of his own making. He heaved a disgusted sigh at
the conclusion.
"Must you think so loudly, Padawan?" said a sleepy rumble in
his ear. "If you must grind the gears, please do so a little
less viciously."
Obi-Wan giggled at this and rubbed the arm that was still
tucked securely about him. "Good morning, Master."
"Good morning, Padawan." A soft chuckle and a kiss was pressed
to his shoulder. "And what were you thinking of that has made
you tense up like this?"
Obi-Wan shrugged a little. "Last night," he said reluctantly.
"Ah. The redoubtable Amia."
Obi-Wan let loose another sigh. "Yes. I was a fool, Master. It
was all my own fault and my own stupid assumptions. But I think
she was leading me on, too."
A moment of silence from his Master. "It has been known to
happen, Padawan. Some people, regardless of gender or age,
simply find greater amusement in manipulating those they regard
as lesser or inferior." Obi-Wan sensed the smile behind his
shoulder. "Not that you are either."
"I suppose such...abilities...must be useful in negotiations,"
Obi-Wan said tentatively.
"No, not really, they're a detriment. Such people usually
cannot handle truly unpredictable situations. They are focussed
on their goals and if you are striving for a goal in that way
in negotiations you may make a volatile situation worse by
trying to force your own priorities and goals on the
proceedings. Manipulative people need a stable environment,
they need to eliminate as much unpredictability as they can so
their own plans can work properly." A pause, then another
laugh. "I'm sorry, Padawan, but you did ask."
Obi-Wan snorted a laugh at this and leaned back into his
Master's warmth. "How do I avoid such in the future?"
"By being aware of the possibility, Padawan. But don't let the
fear to trust someone get in the way. Or, at least, try not to
let it get in the way. It can be...quite a difficult thing to
overcome." Obi-Wan could feel the guilty sadness in the words,
knew their long-ago cause, before his mercurial Master changed
the subject to cover the moment over. Strong fingers were
suddenly tickling his ribs unmercifully and in a moment he was
wriggling and laughing uncontrollably. "If you wanted to get
laid I could have set you up with someone, silly! Someone worth
your time!"
Obi-Wan managed to wriggle away enough to squirm around to face
his Master, trying to catch his breath as his own hands tried
to find non-existant ticklish spots on his Master. "Like who?!"
he demanded.
"Like--mrph, ack! Not the knees, Padawan! Like--Depa Billaba.
Or Ainvi Katar. Or--"
"They're Masters! I couldn't --!"
"Who says?! Or Adi Gallia, she owes me a favor or two--"
"Or you!" Obi-Wan managed to gasp out in the midst of his
laughter.
Silence and stillness then. Qui-Gon lifted his apprentice's
chin to look into the suddenly stricken eyes.
Obi-Wan wanted only to crawl back to his own room and hide. Had
he just crossed some line he hadn't known was there? But the
blue-violet depths of his Master's eyes held only love
and...hope?
"Why would you want me, Padawan? I'm much too old, I'm male, we
spend enough time in each other's cloak pockets I should think
you'd want any excuse to spend time away from me. You couldn't
possibly want--"
Obi-Wan swallowed, put up a hand to his Master's lips to still
the words much as his Master had done to him the night before.
Eyes wide with his own racing heart and surprise at his own
boldness, he shook his head against the pillows. "You can't
think you're too old, you're trying to set me up with two of
your own yearmates. As for being male, you've taught me it
isn't the shell but the nut inside that's important. You know
I'm not so naive that I'm not aware of the possibility and the
reality of such things. It doesn't scare me, in fact it's kind
of intriguing. And who better to teach me what true love is
than the person who truly loves me and is with me in every
moment, who knows me better than I know myself?" He closed his
eyes for a moment and opened them again, steeling himself. "I
--I've been wondering about it for a while now. If you would
ever see me as something more than your apprentice, someone you
could ever--"
Qui-Gon grinned a little, raised an eyebrow at him, his eyes
twinkling in warm mischief. He reached for Obi-Wan's hand,
settled it on his own hardening cock. "That answer your
question?"
Obi-Wan blinked and caught his breath in surprise, then gulped
and gave his Master a shaky tentative smile and moved his hand
to caress his Master's hardness a little. Qui-Gon's eyes
squeezed shut and he shivered a little at the caress. Then he
gathered himself and pulled Obi-Wan's hand away gently.
"I will not take advantage of you this way, Padawan," he said
firmly. "When you can make your own decisions logically in such
matters--"
"Tell the Council I raped you then," Obi-Wan said, surging
upwards and rolling his Master onto his back, squirmed up to
land on top and kissed Qui-Gon with all the limited expertise
he possessed.
"That'll be the day, Padawan!" Qui-Gon growled as he managed to
turn away slightly when Obi-Wan came up for air. He flipped
them over and trapped the apprentice beneath him and Obi-Wan
felt himself melting in the liquid heat of his Master's kiss, a
shivery numbness spiking down through his body to settle in his
own hardness. One kiss and he was aching already...
"You -- are-- far too irresistable," Qui-Gon said between
kisses as he moved from Obi-Wan's mouth to his cheek to his
ear, then stopped again to look down into aquamarine eyes
bright with love and the sudden fire of lust. "And you've
learned my lessons well, especially the ones I didn't teach
you."
"Which would be?" Obi-Wan prompted as he settled his arms
around his Master, slowly rubbing the tensed muscles of his
back.
"That rules are meant to be ignored," Qui-Gon said quietly.
"The Council makes the rules," Obi-Wan said. "What they say
isn't neccessarily the will of the Force. This is what you've
taught me. It has always seemed ...well, logical. You've taught
me to follow the Force regardless of what the Council might
say."
"And you think this--" and here Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan's
forehead softly, "--is the will of the Force?"
"You value all things in the universe as a means of learning,"
Obi-Wan said. "Would you trust such an important lesson to some
silly Padawan who doesn't give a bantha's butt about me? Or
give me to another Master so that I learn that sex is only
something you do like maintenance on a ship, that it's got
nothing to do with love at all? No, Master. I won't do that. I
love you. I won't belittle what you and I have always had by
going out and --"
"Oh Padawan. You silly, wonderful --" Qui-Gon stopped, kissed
Obi-Wan's forehead again and the apprentice saw that his eyes
were bright with amazed joy. He moved to Obi-Wan's side,
stretched out beside him and wrapped his apprentice in his arms
and his love again. "You had me years ago, Obi-Wan. However
long you want me, whatever you want from me, it's yours.
Whatever the Council may say, I'm yours."
Obi-Wan was tempted to just answer, "Always and everything" to
that, but he didn't. There would be time for that later. For
now, he didn't need always and "everything" was a bit daunting
when you didn't know what it included. He simply took Qui-Gon's
hand and brought it down to rest on the aching hardness that
leaped under the warmth of that huge callused hand. "Show me
what I don't know, Master."
Qui-Gon sighed and gave up. He held Obi-Wan close and slid one
hand inside his sleep pants to caress the taut length of his
cock, murmuring wordless reassurance as the apprentice thrust
up eagerly into his hand. Deft hands began to slide the sleep
pants away slowly, gently working the restraining cloth away
from the painfully hard erection as the Master scooted down a
little to kiss the soft skin exposed.
Obi-Wan wanted to wiggle under the light touches, wanting more.
Every kiss, every caress left a larger need. His hands wove
into his Master's long dissheveled hair, felt the strands
tickling his thighs as Qui-Gon moved downward. His sleep pants
were suddenly gone off the side of the bed and he moaned as the
warm hands and tickling hair and teasing lips made their way
back up his legs and stopped. Obi-Wan pried his eyes open to
find out why his Master had stopped to meet glowing blue-violet
eyes looking back at him in love and hunger.
"What shall I do with you, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan gave him a goofy grin. "As long as it doesn't violate
the Humane Treatment of Prisoners of War act, I think I can
handle it."
A rich chuckle at that. "That leaves a lot of possibilities
open." And with that, Qui-Gon moved to kiss Obi-Wan's straining
cock and the apprentice hissed and tensed all over. Sudden
electric fire lanced from that kiss all through Obi-Wan's body.
"Then again, I could be wrong," Obi-Wan murmured absently.
Another soft chuckle at that and Obi-Wan's mind scattered
completely as liquid heat surrounded his cock. He groaned and
clenched his hands in his Master's hair, felt the big hands
holding him down as he tried to move up instinctively into that
wet warmth. Qui-Gon pulled back and untangled Obi-Wan's hands
from his hair and kissed each before holding them flat on the
apprentice's hips beneath his own.
It was very like torture, Obi-Wan realized dazedly as his
Master once more took in his hardness with an agile tongue. He
couldn't move though every touch demanded he writhe and wriggle
while pure unmixed bolts of pleasure shot through him like
blaster fire. He moaned and tried to wiggle and tried to thrust
up into that slow teasing wet fire, felt his Master's delight
and lust through their bond. He felt Qui-Gon reach for the
Force, followed his lead and opened himself to the power as
well, gasped in a choking breath when all the love in the
universe came crowding into his soul and heart and mind. Oh, it
hurt to hold back, it felt so good...
[Let go, love, I've got you.]
Obi-Wan screamed then as he felt his orgasm gather and race
through him, exploding into his Master's mouth, it felt like
forever, muscle and bone fighting in the violence of his
release. Just as his own climax ripped through him he felt
another surge in the Force, a tidal wave of ecstasy that
swamped both of them as Qui-Gon pulled away and muffled his own
cries against Obi-Wan's leg, shuddering and writhing helplessly
against the bed as he came.
The world, the bright morning sunlight, Qui-Gon's room around
them, everything, faded into irrelevancy for long moments.
There was nothing but dazzling bliss and love so deep and
complete he could swim in it and breath it and wrap it around
him. Qui-Gon managed somehow to drag himself back up and pulled
Obi-Wan into his arms. The Force sang around them, filling
their minds and souls with dancing sunny colors while they
forgot everything but each other.
[I love you, Qui-Gon.]
[And I have always loved you and always will, Obi-Wan.]
The words reverberated in Obi-Wan's mind. Then he realized he
hadn't felt his Master's deep rumble in the the muscular chest
he was cuddled up against. He'd heard it completely in his
mind. He gulped and looked up at Qui-Gon wonderingly.
A shaky hand caressed his cheek and he saw an almost scared
look in his beloved Master's eyes. [What?! What is it?] he
asked frantically.
Qui-Gon's arms nearly crushed him then as the Master clutched
him fiercely, murmuring softly into Obi-Wan's hair. "Nothing
bad. And something I should have expected. But it will make
things very difficult for us. Oh, beloved, I never thought--"
Obi-Wan gasped as he felt then everything Qui-Gon was feeling,
felt the layers of years fall away as their minds and souls
twined softly together. Differences, yes, but delightful ones.
Obi-Wan realized then as he hadn't before how true his Master's
words were, that the soul was ageless. There were no
qualifications attached. Just Qui-Gon Jinn. Just gentleness and
protectiveness and delight and wonder and amazement and...all
of it. And knew his Master felt all that was Obi-Wan Kenobi as
well.
"You were right, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon whispered. "The Force wanted
this. This confirms it."
"Is it --a soulbond?"
A soft chuckle in mind and body. "Mmm-hmm. And how we are ever
going to hide it from the Council I have no idea. For now,
however, we need to get out of bed and try to go about our
duties as if nothing has happened."
Obi-Wan snorted a disbelieving laugh. "You just--just--and now
there's a soulbond and you expect me to--" he spluttered as
Qui-Gon grinned at him.
"Unless you want all your teachers to come looking for us, and
then Master Yoda or Windu to follow after wondering if
something's wrong, and then the Healers..."
"All right, all right, I take your point," Obi-Wan laughed.
"But I don't think I can move."
The Master released him back into the pillows with a last
mindblowing kiss. "If you move and go take your bath there will
be food waiting when you're done."
"Food," Obi-Wan said the word like a sacred mantra. He was up
and out of the bed in a moment as Qui-Gon laughed softly behind
him.
"Saw to the exchange of prisoners, you did, Qui-Gon?" Yoda
asked later that day as Qui-Gon gave his report to the Council
on his last mission.
"Yes, my Master. The V'Gasi made it a provision of their
compliance that all prisoners of war, including the terrorist
guerillas, be released before the agreement was ratified. The
V'Gela were not pleased by this, but I made it clear there
would be no peace until it was done. An hour after the news was
broadcast that the prisoners had been released the
Archon reported to me that their sensors showed the
fighting had ceased as per the agreement. I saw to it the
former prisoners got safely back to V'Gasi territory and the
treaty was signed the next morning without further violence."
"What duties you gave Obi-Wan during this mission?" Yoda asked
as Windu beside him looked over the written report and notes
Qui-Gon had submitted the night before.
"My Padawan handled our communications with the Archon
and kept me updated on the fighting. I'm afraid he spent most
of his time in front of a satellite commscreen, Master. The
V'Gela have a low opinion of the abilities of children and they
consider anyone under forty to be a child."
"Hmph. Know what they mean, I do," Yoda said in a mock-grumble
at his former apprentice. "Next mission it is appropriate,
Obi-Wan is to take an active part. Learn, he must, to put his
learning into real life."
Qui-Gon smiled a little at this. "As you wish, my Master."
Yoda's eyes travelled around the circle of the Council and
Qui-Gon commanded his heart and soul to stillness, firmly kept
himself from building his mindshields up around him in a
fortress wall. If he acted like nothing was wrong or different
they wouldn't be tempted to scan him....
Yoda's eyes widened and his ears went up a little as the gaze
of Yarael Poof met his, a puzzled expression on the telepathic
alien's face. "Dismissed, you are, Qui-Gon. Call you, we will,
if further clarification needed," Yoda said abruptly. Windu
glanced at Yoda in brief surprise as Qui-Gon bowed to his old
Master and turned to go.
The Council chamber door slid shut and Yoda hopped down off his
chair with amazing agility, hobbled over to Yarael. "Speak, you
will, old friend!"
The alien's long neck dipped so his swaying head was on a level
with the tiny Jedi Master's. "Something is different with
Qui-Gon. He has a soulbond with someone now, but he's trying to
hide it."
Yoda's ears went up at this. "Happened, finally, it has! Long
time coming, it has been."
Yarael's head tilted and swayed as he considered. "Obi-Wan?"
Yoda nodded with a sigh. "Who else he would feel the need to
hide?"
"They were ignorant of the possibility?" Yarael asked. "We have
all seen them together, their teaching bond is the strongest in
a generation."
"Unwilling to acknowledge possibility, Qui-Gon was," Yoda said.
"Trust another in his soul, he was not prepared for, even
Obi-Wan. But we must make sure it is an equal bond, that
Obi-Wan is strong enough in himself. Separated, they must be,
for a time, so we may see what strength there may be in the
youngling."
"Qui-Gon would never hurt Obi-Wan," Mace Windu said as he too
came to kneel before Yarael's chair beside Yoda.
Yoda nodded with a sigh. "Break a soulbond, we cannot. But keep
Obi-Wan from being overwhelmed we can. Stand alone, he must be
able to, if his training is to continue as it must."
"They just bonded recently, I think," Yarael said thoughtfully.
"Within the last two or three days or Qui-Gon would have been
able to hide it better."
"Send Qui-Gon alone on the Xantalia mission, we will," Yoda
decided with a nod of satisfaction. "To see to the ascension of
the new King, to guard during the coronation. A month it will
be. Sufficient time, it is."
Windu nodded and reached for his assignment roster to make the
neccessary changes in plans.
Qui-Gon felt the dancing joy of his Padawan's approach several
minutes before his apprentice burst through the door of their
quarters and raced into his arms.
"My beloved," he murmured into the soft bristly golden hair as
he held his new bondmate, smiled as he felt Obi-Wan trying to
tug at his belt, caught the eager hands and kissed the agile
fingers. "Not right now, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan looked up at him then, and Qui-Gon could only rejoice
at the shining love and happiness in those aquamarine eyes.
"Hold me, then?"
"Forever, if I had the choice," Qui-Gon said, fitting action to
words. A moment later Obi-Wan lifted his head again for a kiss.
"We've got another assignment?" Obi-Wan asked as he saw the
travel bag half-packed on the bed. "Why didn't you come get me
from class? When do we leave?"
"No, Obi-Wan, I'm the only one leaving."
"What?!" Stricken, Obi-Wan turned back to his Master and
clutched the arms that encircled him.
"The Council is sending me to Xantalia alone." Qui-Gon smoothed
the golden hair with one hand, ran the braid through his hand
lovingly. "They gave no explanation save that you needed to
catch up on your classes and only one Jedi was needed for the
mission. I know better. They know about the bond and they're
sending me alone as a test for both of us." He pulled away a
little and sat down on the edge of the bed.
It was a long moment of strained silence before Obi-Wan spoke.
"Can we stand being apart? With the soulbond, I mean?"
Qui-Gon nodded slowly and looked up at Obi-Wan. His apprentice
looked lost and suddenly very young. Tears stood in the
blue-green eyes but did not fall. He reached up to caress his
bondmate's cheek. "We will survive, Obi-Wan. Remember they will
be watching you. We must be very careful, for I'm sure they'll
find a way to have me watched as well. A little paranoia would
be a help in this. Be mindful at all times of everyone and
everything around you. It will be very hard but you must be on
your own completely while I'm gone. I won't be here to pull you
out of trouble, so it's best if you don't get in
trouble. Best behavior, understand?" Then he dropped the
seriousness when Obi-Wan nodded reluctant understanding, pulled
his apprentice into his arms again. [I love you so much,
beloved. It has been so long since we've been apart it will
seem like my shadow has been taken from me.]
Obi-Wan swallowed down his tears and held his Master close.
Whatever time they had before Qui-Gon left, he wasn't going to
ruin it with tears.
Obi-Wan kept himself silent in mind and voice, shielded as much
as he could manage, as he stood on the landing platform with
his Master and Master Windu. The small shuttle that would take
Qui-Gon up to the ship waiting in orbit around Coruscant was
due any moment. For the first time since he was thirteen he
wasn't carrying his own pack along with his Master's.
To keep himself from giving in to the worry and sadness of
their impending separation he started analyzing the new
feelings of the soulbond. His senses felt abnormally acute,
hypersensitive. Everything felt "four-dimensional". Or perhaps
it was just the sensation of being in two places at once that
did that. The constant loving presence in his mind was
stronger, a tingling tide of love that surged over him in odd
moments whenever Qui-Gon happened to think of him. He suspected
it was the same for his new bondmate, wondered how his Master
felt his thoughts.
[Like an spring breeze full of cloudwillow fuzz, tickling me,]
Qui-Gon replied, a teasing note in the soft mindvoice.
Obi-Wan couldn't quite repress the surge of love the voice
brought from him. Qui-Gon glanced at him out of the corner of
his eye and Obi-Wan quickly bowed his head to try to hide his
smile. Best behavior. He must remember to act as he always had.
[Try to restrain the mad dashes naked down the hallways to the
middle of the night, yes, Padawan, but otherwise just be
normal,] Qui-Gon said flippantly.
Obi-Wan had to bite his lip to keep from bursting out laughing.
[I don't suppose I have to warn you against reciting love
sonnets at inappropriate moments, then, do I?]
[Who, me? Perish the thought.] Qui-Gon's grin was fighting to
be free now.
[Somehow I'm not conviced,] Obi-Wan sent back.
[If I do I'll make a holorecording and send it home to you
marked Urgent priority.]
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. [I'll forward it to the Council.]
[I'll make sure to mention all your most shining attributes,
then.] Qui-Gon's eyes were sparkling now and his shoulders were
shaking with suppressed laughter.
[Just restrain it to the parts not covered by clothing,]
Obi-Wan returned. [That ought to keep it clean.]
[Oh I'm far more inventive than that, my love,] Qui-Gon sent
softly as the shuttle decended from the ship traffic above and
hovered a moment before landing on the platform. He turned to
Obi-Wan as the ramp descended and reached for his travel bag.
The blue-violet eyes were solemn now as the moment of
leavetaking had arrived. "Take care of yourself, Padawan. I
will be back in one Standard month. Don't do anything I'll have
to make restitution for or talk my way out of."
"I'll try not to, Master, or if I do I shall remember to hide
the evidence," Obi-Wan answered gravely.
"Like Master, like Padawan," Mace Windu said with a laugh as
Qui-Gon turned to him and took the datapad containing the
diplomatic credentials and other documents he would need for
the mission. "Safe journey, my friend."
Qui-Gon nodded, turned one last time to Obi-Wan. [I love you.]
[And I love you,] Obi-Wan answered gently. [Be careful.]
A last nod, and Qui-Gon turned and went up into the shuttle.
It was the most difficult month Obi-Wan had ever lived through.
Perhaps it was worst on the once-weekly Rest Days when he had
nothing to do but catch up on his schoolwork. Or perhaps the
nights when he collapsed into bed and felt the emptiness beside
him. Maybe it had all been a dream. After the first two nights
of fitful sleep that brought no rest he gave it up and began
sleeping in his Master's bed. The memories gave him some
solace, the remembered touches and shattering bliss. Even in
the bright sunlight all he felt was gloom when he wasn't
applying himself to lightsaber drills or schoolwork. He
couldn't escape the emptiness but he could at least put his
mind and body to useful work while he waited for it to end.
Remembering his Master's warnings, he redoubled his efforts in
his academic studies. He had always been best in the physical
aspects of the Force, especially with his lightsaber, and he
had more than kept up with his yearmates during his missions
with his Master. Somehow they always found time during the day
to practice at least a little, sometimes even could schedule
such practices into the structure of their days. He knew his
weaknesses were in academics, so he focussed all his attentions
there.
Aware also of the unblinking, tacit attention of the Council,
when his schoolwork had been dealt with he tried to socialize
with the few friends he had kept over the years. A semi-nomadic
life wasn't very conducive to long-term relationships outside
of that with his Master, but he had tried and continued to do
so now. And a fast game of smashball was as effective a
distraction as lightsaber drills.
"Padawan Kenobi," Master Windu said in greeting as he
approached the Council chamber doorway.
"Master Windu," Obi-Wan answered with a respectful bow. "Has
there been word from my Master?"
Windu suppressed a slight smile. This was a new and methodical
ritual. The Padawan had appeared every other morning since his
Master had left, asking if his Master had sent any
communications. The stoic Jedi control prevented the boy from
displays of emotion when he was told "no" day after day, but
Windu didn't need such displays to sense the disappointment.
"Not yet, Obi-Wan," Windu said again this day.
Obi-Wan nodded. "Thank you, sir," he answered softly and bowed
again. Windu passed him by on the way to the Council.
Windu suspected the boy had probably started marking the days
off on a calendar somewhere too.
Qui-Gon found the days equally difficult and the nights
disquietingly empty.
During the day he concentrated on his duties, ensuring that the
new King of Xantalia was aware of all the Republic laws to
which he and his realm would be subject. An easy task, merely
consisting of a refresher course. The young King had studied
and observed such at his father's right hand for at least a
decade. Aside from this, Qui-Gon was free to advise the young
King as time allowed and the new monarch felt neccessary. The
remainder of his time was spent meditating or wandering the
vast gardens of the palace grounds.
Wishing all the while for his shadow by his side.
He wished for that bubbling laughter in his mind, the silent
wide-eyed presence behind and to his left, the enchanting
warmth of a wriggling Padawan in his arms in the night. The one
he could joke with without fear of misunderstanding. That clear
organized mind, reminding him of where they should be going,
who seeing, what doing. Missed, in short, the other half of
himself.
For the first time since his first missions as a Knight, he
found himself unable to sleep in strange places. The slightest
of noises would awaken him instantly, and the unfamiliar
darknesses were unsettling.
After a week and a half he started wondering if the Palace
commtechs would allow him access to the holocomm system.
"Yes, Padawan, there was a message today. Two, actually." Windu
handed Obi-Wan a datadisk.
Obi-Wan's heart leaped and he gulped a little, looking at the
disk in his hand for a moment before he remembered and bowed
his thanks to the Council member.
After my classes, Obi-Wan promised himself. I will watch it
after my classes. I mustn't skip class, those watching me would
know. I must be stronger than that.
The only thing that made the wait bearable was knowing the
message was in his inner tunic pocket.
Obi-Wan's hands were clumsy as he slapped the lockpanel on the
door of their quarters, threw his datareaders down on the sofa
and whirled to the bookshelves for the little portable
holoprojector. He put it on the floor and sat down in front of
it, trying his best to be careful as he plugged the datadisk
in. The line of light unfolded and there was his Master and
bondmate, smiling, eyes bright.
Obi-Wan felt his heart give a lurch and caught his breath. Two
weeks apart and yet they were both unchanged. It hardly seemed
real. But then his Master spoke.
"Obi-Wan. The Force willing, you should get this when I have
been gone two weeks. All goes well, I shall be home on time if
all continues as it has begun. I trust you are minding your
studies and your lightsaber practice. Master Windu assured me
before I left he would keep an eye out for you, and as we both
know the very walls have a thousand ears and eyes. I hope it is
not too greatly disturbing. I encoded this transmission for our
holoprojector in our quarters, so I have no fears of saying
such aloud. I am empty without you. The days drag by, but I
have my duty and it is not difficult. It is ...disturbing to
wake in the night and not feel you near, especially now."
Obi-Wan bit his lip at the darkening of the bright eyes and the
faint pain that passed over his Master's face. "We have only to
endure and we will be together again soon. I know you will not
understand this, but I want you to be as independent as you can
be. I would not have you to be merely a shell or a puppet to my
wishes. You must live your own life, Padawan. We are still two
separate people and we mustn't forget it. The true bond is in
learning to deal with each other as we change, not in some
eternal unchanging -- and ultimately untrue -- version of what
we think the other is. We would be terribly hurt when reality
proved us wrong." Qui-Gon shook himself then and smiled again.
"That being said, I love you with all my soul. And as per my
threat on the landing platform when last we spoke, I have a
love sonnet for you." This last came out with a mischievous
twinkle and Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "The Xantalians are quite
poetic, though sometimes they tend to be a bit on the
angst-ridden side. However, it fit my mood." With that he
straightened and began to recite from memory.
"Love is not all ...
Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone,
Yet many a man is making friends with death,
Even as I speak, for lack of love alone."
A moment of silence then, and Obi-Wan could feel his bondmate's
loneliness over the lightyears as he saw the beautiful
blue-violet eyes darken and saw his Master sigh wearily. Then
Qui-Gon shook himself again, smiled. "I love you, Obi-Wan. Take
care."
With that, the hologram faded out.
For the first time ever, Obi-Wan truly understood what people
meant when they said something was "bittersweet."
Qui-Gon was wrong. He did know why he must be
independent, why they must keep their own perspective on things
and not allow the soulbond to rule their lives. It would be no
different and much worse than what Amia had done to him were
they to submerge all they were into the soulbond. His Master
was much older and much more experienced in such things.
Obi-Wan would be helpless to resist it, would more than likely
never think to resist.
And love would be simply a parody of itself then.
"The only difference between slavery and freedom is love,"
Obi-Wan sighed as he stared unseeing into the empty air where
his bondmate's image had been. Then he shook his head, got up,
and got back to work.
Yarael Poof moved heavily down the hallway to the Hall of
Changes. At the entrance of the large, airy, stone-walled room
he saw a small green form waiting for him, bobbed his swaying
head in greeting to Yoda as he approached. The two walked
together toward the benches arrayed around the great sculpture
that was the centerpiece of the Hall.
The great artwork was a marvel of engineering and imagination.
Ten spheres, one inside the next inside the next, each sphere a
shell of liquid chromite held in the form of a bubble by
surface tension and a touch of the Force. Each sphere was
therefore an invisible shell patterned in ever-shifting
patterns of honeycombs, rings, or random fractals. At the
center of all was a sphere of perfect, flawless diamond. It was
a meditative artwork, meant to be a center of contemplation.
More than one Jedi had come to astonishing insight and
revelation while lost in the changes of the spheres.
The two Jedi Masters settled onto one of the benches and
watched the slowly spinning sculpture for a moment before they
spoke. Just being in close proximity to the spheres brought a
calming to the soul.
"What news, old friend?" Yoda asked at length. "How fares the
youngling?"
"He is well. Better than I would have thought," Yarael said.
"Trying too hard to please. Undoubtedly Qui-Gon realized the
real reason he was being sent to Xantalia and warned Obi-Wan.
The youngling himself could have handled the Xantalia mission
without his Master. We could have sent a new Knight and it
would have gone well. But Obi-Wan shows enough of his own will
that I am not concerned now. And Qui-Gon is not the sort who
would take advantage of him no matter the temptation." Yarael
grinned crookedly and his long neck rippled in a laugh.
"Obi-Wan's instructors tell me he is always two assignments
ahead in his schoolwork. He's always been far ahead of his
yearmates in the lightsaber. I'm told he spends his free time
mostly alone, but occassionally will ask one of his friends out
for smashball or dinner. He's not withdrawing or becoming moody
or irritable. I think we have nothing to worry about."
Yoda hummed to himself for a moment, tapping his walking stick
on the stone of the bench they sat on, thinking. "Reevaluate
the situation we will, at appropriate intervals. Spend all
their time together they do, when on assignments. "
"I would insist on it," Yarael said serenely. "Obi-Wan is still
quite impressionable and so we must take care."
Two days to go.
Obi-Wan had fallen asleep practically chanting the phrase. Two
days to go before his Master would be home. Two days. He
already knew the expected time of arrival, the landing platform
number. He wouldn't be able to get to the landing platform as
he'd be at lightsaber practice but he'd know...he was sure he'd
feel it when Qui-Gon returned.
"Two days," he murmured as he touched the lightglobe to turn it
off. A yawn, snuggling down in the blankets, burying his face
in his Master's pillow, and he was asleep.
And awoke in what seemed like only moments to the rich warmth
of bare skin curling up around him and hands caressing and
pulling him close.
"Mmmpph!" he yelped into the pillow and twisted about to look.
To meet a pair of blue-violet eyes glowing with joy, a lion's
mane of loose graying brown hair, and a laughing Jedi Master
wearing nothing but a dazzling smile.
"Master!" Obi-Wan yelled and burrowed into the arms that
clutched him close as Qui-Gon laughed. "How did you get here!?"
"A -- Senate- -Courier ship," Qui-Gon explained between kisses
to Obi-Wan's lips, forehead, and cheeks. The big hands were
busily banishing the apprentice's sleep pants and shirt,
seeking bare skin. "It was passing by two systems away from
Xantalia, I arranged to meet it. The --oh, you taste so good,
-- The Fleet ship would take three days, the courier only one.
So here I am. I couldn't stay away when I had the chance to get
home early. There!" He finished as he drew Obi-Wan's oversized
sleep shirt off and flung it somewhere off the end of the bed.
He pulled Obi-Wan as close as he could, the first true touch of
skin to skin making them both gasp and shudder against each
other. "I wanted to surprise you."
Obi-Wan was too stunned and too deliriously joyful to say
anything, just tugged Qui-Gon down and kissed him hungrily as
the soulbond reawakened, the feeling of expanded senses and the
vast depths of his bondmate's emotions and thoughts, the steady
glow of love in all it's colors and inflections enfolding him.
It was too spiritual and too huge to be conveyed in anything
but action. So he simply scooted up to hold his Master's head
against his chest, wound in loving arms and hungry kisses while
he ran his hands through the long unbound hair and rubbed the
broad shoulders beneath.
Qui-Gon caught his mood and slowed his kisses somewhat,
rejoicing in being together once again while Obi-Wan silently
sifted his hair through reverant fingers, summoning
peacefulness.
After a few moments Obi-Wan smiled in the dark and whispered,
"I found a poem for you. "
"You did?" the deep voice murmured. Qui-Gon looked up at him
curiously.
"Mmm-hmm," Obi-Wan answered, and began.
"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty, with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face."
Qui-Gon kissed his throat and caressed his cheek in answer as
Obi-Wan let the sadness of their separation go.
"That being said," Obi-Wan said briskly, "Now you may molest me
until my brains leak out my ears."
Qui-Gon growled playfully and bit his neck and Obi-Wan yelped
with laughter. "I'll do that, Padawan, and you'll enjoy it."
"Oh I sincerely hope so or your reputation will be totally
shot," Obi-Wan countered before his voice trailed off into
moans as large hands began exploring every inch of his skin.
"I have a reputation?" Qui-Gon mumbled as he trailed kisses
down Obi-Wan's throat and across his collarbone.
"I'll plant something suitably colorful with the Padawans,"
Obi-Wan promised absently as Qui-Gon's beard tickled his ribs
as the Master moved lower to his nipples and began sucking on
them. Obi-Wan went silent in the delightful shivers this
brought, biting his lip against the moans. And then Qui-Gon's
big hands were beneath him, lifting him, and he caught his
breath as strong fingers began kneading his rear end
possessively. He gave up trying to stifle his moans then and
felt Qui-Gon's delight and arousal at the sounds.
[Feels good?] Qui-Gon asked as his lips were busily moving
about kissing every inch of Obi-Wan's stomach.
Obi-Wan moved a little to press his cock against Qui-Gon's
chest and hissed as the Master's soft laugh vibrated through
the stiffened flesh.
[Hmm. Yes, I'd say you think that feels good then,] Qui-Gon
commented mischievously.
[Chatterbox,] Obi-Wan managed to send. [You gonna talk all
night or do something about it?]
[Now I can do both,] Qui-Gon returned, and Obi-Wan's world fell
away as wet heat descended on oversensitive flesh.
Obi-Wan's helpless groans were the only sound now, the
near-mindless responses bringing murmurs of encouragement from
Qui-Gon, soft hands and strong arms holding the apprentice's
wriggling form still under the teasing lips and tongue.
[I think if I keep on this way this'll be over far too soon,]
Qui-Gon purred softly as he pulled away finally.
"Noo, please don't stop!" Obi-Wan whimpered, reaching for his
bondmate's head. Qui-Gon gently shook the hands away and sat up
between Obi-Wan's legs. "What are you doing?"
Qui-Gon's hand caressed his cock softly and Obi-Wan bucked up
into the contact with a cry.
"Ssshh. Not yet, love." The Master reached to the small table
beside the bed and picked up a small wooden box Obi-Wan hadn't
seen before. He opened it, took something small and rock-like
from inside and put it in Obi-Wan's hand, folding his fingers
over it firmly. "Here, hold this."
"What is it? Hey!" Obi-Wan exclaimed as what he thought was a
rock began melting in his hand. "What is this glop? Oooh,
smells good!"
Qui-Gon smiled as the rich, earthy scent swirled all around
them both, feeling Obi-Wan's curiosity and delight. "Glop,
love? Very expensive glop anywhere in the galaxy but Xantalia.
It's Myalara. I gathered it myself on an idle afternoon in the
King's gardens."
"What do you do with it?" Obi-Wan asked, flexing his hand a
little as the now-melted stuff clung to his fingers in a
gelatinous blob.
"Among other things, this." Qui-Gon moved Obi-Wan's hand to his
throbbing erection and growled softly as his bondmate's hand
began caressing eagerly. The Myalara warmed almost instantly
and the delicious scent of it became even more intense with the
heat. It was so much better than the fantasy, so much better
than dreams to have those wonderful warm nimble fingers on him
at last. [I'd give you a thousand years to stop doing that if I
didn't have something even better in mind.]
Obi-Wan caught the images and emotions from his bondmate's mind
then. [Yes! Now! Where's the glop? Do it now? Please?]
Qui-Gon laughed heartily at the eagerness and retrieved the box
of Myalara, shook a larger chunk out of the box and held it in
his hand till it melted. Obi-Wan's thoughts were racing even as
his hand kept doing such remarkable things to Qui-Gon's aching
erection. [Beloved, it may hurt you some. Are you certain?]
[This from the man who delights in swatting my rear end with
his lightsaber.]
[I'm serious, love.] Qui-Gon answered worriedly.
[Do it. I want it, I want you!] Obi-Wan looked up into his
Master's eyes and tugged him down for a long kiss, moaning as
first a slippery tongue and then slick fingers invaded his
body, searching, stroking.
[So very tight,] Qui-Gon murmured in his mind. [Share with me,
love, feel this...]
Obi-Wan opened his mind a little further to the soulbond and
stiffened in surprise at the sensations before letting them
wash over him. Tight wet scorching heat, slick agile fingers
searching and finding that place inside. At the first touch
Obi-Wan cried out loudly and sank his teeth into his Master's
shoulder in a fit of pleasure. Qui-Gon bit his neck and rumbled
a moan, slid his lips up to Obi-Wan's ear and whispered
something unintelligible. Then another finger was added and
Obi-Wan writhed frantically against the motion.
[Now, please now,] Obi-Wan gasped in his bondmate's mind.
Qui-Gon growled again, pushed Obi-Wan back down onto the bed,
and slid inside his bondmate's body as gently as his own
frenzied lust would allow.
Obi-Wan screamed in pain and ecstasy, arching up into the
feverish heat that filled him so completely, hands clawing
futilely at the blanket beneath him. "Yes, now, oh that feels
so good, aaaah! More! All of it!"
"Yes," Qui-Gon moaned, "So good..."
And they were moving together, lunging, crying out, feral
animals, each wild thrust wringing a growl from Qui-Gon and an
answering delirious cry from Obi-Wan. The Force rose around
them in the thick scent of the Myalara, almost a physical
touch, caressing with cool fingers on sweaty skin, nearly
unheeded. The doubled sensations became too much and Obi-Wan
arched up in near-agony as his orgasm exploded in mind and
body, his hands spasming hard on Qui-Gon's thighs as the
overwhelming white heat blasted through him. Qui-Gon bit down
hard on the muscles of Obi-Wan's shoulder, drawing blood,
plunged forward frantically as his own orgasm ripped away the
last of his mind and flung his soul to the stars.
From the void in which their souls entwined, they drifted into
sated sleep.
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