Disclaimer: The boys and the rest of the SW universe belong to
Mr. Lucas. I'm just borrowing them, because even fictional
characters need a vacation now and then... I'm not making any
money off this. If I was, I wouldn't be so desperate for
cash...
Archive: Yes to Master&Apprentice, OKEB, WWOMB, and my
homepage. All others, ask and ye shall receive.
Rating: G
Warnings: Q/O.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Qui-Gon takes Obi-Wan on a kind of pilgrimage.
Categories: First time, romance.
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to kaly for reading this over.
Author's Note: I don't use betas, so all mistakes are mine.
This wee little fic was the bunny that grew strong enough to
dig me out from under my homework. Of course, now all the other
bunnies can get to me... (Kry looks over at the batlslash wip
and the new Mortal Kombat wip)
Feedback: Please, please, please! A story of mine got rejected
for publishing today and a major attack of IAS set in, despite
the fact that I know I'll be rejected multiple time before some
actually takes the damn thing. Plus this is from Qui's POV and
I'm half afraid I've completely screwed him up...<sigh>
Help?
The Force is not a god, and the Jedi are not a religious sect,
although it is sometimes easiest to explain them that way. Yet
we do have our pilgrimages, and now I take Obi-Wan on his.
Esolc is a world powerful with the Force. The richness of life
of all kinds on the surface is a balm to the soul, but we do
not come here for the living Force. Instead, we descend into
the heart of the planet. We walk a path that becomes a tunnel
which slopes gently towards Esolc's center. We walk for hours,
days perhaps, because we stop to eat when we are hungry and to
sleep when we are tired. There is no indication of time, so we
follow the rhythms of our bodies.
It grows hot as we descend and the tunnel, which at the
beginning rose well above my head, shrinks under the pressure
of overlying earth. My Padawan and I are quiet as we walk. He
doesn't know why we are here, but I can feel his curiosity
growing. We grow close to our goal, and I feel it is time to
speak.
"The Jedi have always come here. When we were no more than
philosophers, we came here. The first Jedi to touch the Force
came here, and every Padawan comes here when they grow close to
knighthood. It is a part of our history, a part of what makes
us Jedi. It came to me, mere days ago, that is was time I bring
you here. I informed Master Yoda, and our next mission was
given to another Jedi." I smile at Obi-Wan's raised eyebrow.
"Yes, Padawan. This is that important."
"What is this?" he asks, and I can not help but compare his
rampant curiosity with the reverence I felt upon walking this
path years ago. I smile again.
"Near the heart of this world there is a place were the living
Force and unifying Force come together in what we call a nexus.
To our knowledge, there is no other place like it. Not in our
galaxy."
"What will we find there, Master?"
"It varies from person to person. Some find peace. Some find a
challenge. Some find enlightenment. You will know soon. We are
here."
We have stopped walking, for before us the tunnel ends in a
blue-green shimmer. Obi-Wan looks questioningly at me. "You
must go alone, my Padawan," I say, and motion for him to step
through the curtain.
He nods and strides forward, and though I have not moved the
curtain swallows me as well. On the other side we find
ourselves in a large cave, larger than should exist at these
depths. The Force is so strong here than I can actually see its
currents in the air, rivers of power and of peace.
Obi-Wan looks at me, his brow wrinkled with confusion. "I
thought I was to come alone?"
"So did I," I say. I am transfixed as the Force in the room
amplifies our emotions until they are a dance of light that,
though far beyond my experience, I understand completely. It
isn't possible for Obi-Wan to doubt my honesty or my surprise
when he can see them. Not that he would doubt. My confidence
and trust in my Padawan ripple into the room and draw pleasure
and pride from him.
We are startled from the dance of emotions by a voice.
"Welcome Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon." The speaker is a young woman...or a
young man. It's hard to tell. It hardly matters what sex the
apparition is; it matters only that this is a manifestation of
the Force. There is no way for me not to be aware of this,
though such a manifestation can only exist in this place.
"Why am I here?" I ask, though I had intended a greeting. I
should have remembered that this is a place for truths, not for
diplomacy.
"Because it is time," the figure says simply.
I nod, remembering, and turn to Obi-Wan to explain. "When I
came here, with Master Yoda, both of us passed the curtain. I
was told that it was not time for me to be there, that I must
return later. I was crushed, fearing that my knighthood would
be indefinitely delayed. It might have been, if my Master had
not thought to ask. He was told that I was ready to be a
knight, and that my life would set many people on Force willed
paths. My trials were held that day and I was knighted the
next."
"And now it is time you return," Obi-Wan says, and I nod.
"Should I be here, then?"
"Of course," the Force manifestation says. "The time was not
right for Qui-Gon because you were not there to be with him."
My surprise and Obi-Wan's mesh in the ocean of the Force around
us, and the other smiles kindly. "This is not a place for
hiding or for fear," they say, reaching out and touching the
place over my heart, "what you have in your hearts must be
shared." They touch Obi-Wan in the same place.
It is as if they have drawn all the secrets out of my heart.
Perhaps they have. I watch my love for my Padawan light up the
room and it saddens me to see that bright and beautiful thing
tinged by the insecurities of a man much older than his love
and the guilt of a Master whose emotions have far overstepped
those permitted by the Code.
And then...something changes. Obi-Wan's heart is laid open as
mine has been, and I am astounded to see the light of his love
for me. That light also has it's dark places, but none more
heart-wrenching than the despair of a young man who feels his
love with never be returned.
I have to say it, to hear it.
"I love you."
Obi-Wan's voice blends with mine, and as our lips meet all the
dark places in our love vanish and the room is filled with a
single light. I have never felt such peace as I feel now, with
our love wrapped around each other and my Obi-Wan in my arms.
I know, now, that I will have this until the day I die.
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