Coruscant's Most Wanted No. 249

by Little Owl (grinning_little_owl@yahoo.de)

Archive: Master_Apprentice
Category: Humor
Disclaimers: The boys in here belong to Lucasfilms. I don't make any money with it, just let them have a beer.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Some newly knighted Jedi have a beer at the eve of a Senate ceremony.
Notes: An answer on Emila-Wan's challenge "Jedi Business. Go back to your drinks." Thank you very much for the challenge and your suggestions to brush up my English and the end of the story!
Feedback: yes please

"Jedi business. Go back to your drinks!" Quinlan Vos glared at the three women, a blonde, a brunette and a green-haired one.

"We've seen your braids are off," the blonde said, "Congratulations!"

"We should celebrate that," the brunette suggested.

"And it's very convenient, that there are three of us and you're three together... and what an edible threesome!" the green one leered.

"Listen, ladies," Knight Vos said, "We'd like to celebrate ourselves, and we are not interested in your company. All you want is to get drinks for free, to grope us and to write sordid stories about us afterwards."

"Yeah! What's wrong about that?" the blonde grinned.

"And I'd like to do much more than groping," the brunette blinked.

"You've always been my favorite!" greenie crooned.

"You are not interested in Jedi Knights!" With a little help from the Force Quinlan took three glasses of ale in his left hand and waved with the right. His ability with mind tricks had gained him some extra points in the final exams.

"We are not interested in Jedi Knights," the trio parroted and looked at him somewhat dazed.

Quinlan Vos nodded and continued his way to a table in his favorite club.

"Why didn't you ask these girls to have a drink with us?" Mace Windu looked disappointed, "Maybe they would have been able to cheer up our companion a little."

"They're from the planet Slash," Quinlan put three big glasses of dark ale on the table, "A real pain in the ass, believe me."

"I'd like to find out myself," Knight Windu complained and took a sip. "Sith hells, Qui-Gon! Are you in deep trance or would you like to have a beer with us! Trials are over, man, relax!"

"Sorry." A huge hand searched for a Padawan braid, which had been cut off that morning, "Was just thinking..."

"About your freedom not to crouch any longer in Master Yoda's quarters?" Quinlan claimed his place next to Knight Jinn, "Feels odd, huh?" He pecked Qui-Gon on the cheek.

"Next one to fetch beer is me," Mace mumbled and looked at the puzzled females who went back to their places at the bar, being obviously at a loss.

"Well, all we have to do is survive this Senate ceremony 'These are the new Knights to serve you' and then we're in the business," Quinlan patted Qui-Gon's thigh. There was no need at all to be groped by women, when he could get a good handful of Padawan, sorry, Knight Jinn. Or even more...

But even that didn't cheer up his beloved.

"I only wish this thrice damned ceremony would be over now!" Knight Jinn sighed and downed his ale in one gulp.

"What bothers you about it?" Quinlan used the opportunity to put an arm around Qui-Gon's shoulders, "It's the real big show! Not only our fellow Jedi will be there, but half of the Senate and even our parents, too."

A cough and sad nod.

"So that's the problem!" Mace pointed at his fellow knight, "Family business!"

"If you put it that way." Qui-Gon took Quinlan's glass.

"You won't leave a good impression when you're showing up with a hangover." Quinlan's fingers sneaked into the collar of Qui-Gon's tunic. He saw Mace frown about that public display of desire and grinned mischievously: goal achieved.

"So what's the problem with your kin?" Mace said, always the practical one, "Don't they have the money or transport to come to Coruscant? I think that can be solved."

Qui-Gon sighed and took an other gulp. "No." he chuckled mirthlessly, "Money or transport isn't a problem. If you need to know: I'm afraid that someone might come. That's the problem!"

"Such a wild bunch?" Quinlan grinned, "Well, you never told us about your background..."

"And if the Force wills it, there will be no need to do so." Qui-Gon scowled.

"Ah, now I'm curious!" Mace leaned over the table. "Who are they?"

A pained look from sky-blue eyes. Well, sometimes even Mace could understand why Quinlan Vos was head over heels in love with Qui-Gon Jinn.

"My parents are in the rescue service." Mace offered a beginning, "My mother is an emergency doctor and my father is in the fire brigade. They have no problem with my being a Jedi, even if they have a religion that denies the Force. What about your folks, Quinlan?"

"They belong to the ruling family of their planet," Quinlan Vos shrugged, "They're either in policy, diplomats or military officers, something else wouldn't be 'decent'. Now, Qui, come out with it: what do your folks do?"

"I'd better get more ale." Jinn tried to stand up.

"No! I go for beer, but you won't tell him until I'm back!" Mace collected the glasses.

"Please, Quin," he heard behind him, "Don't insist on it."

"Persuade me, Qui."

A short glance over his shoulder showed Mace two Jedi Knights kissing each other. Mace snorted.

While he waited for the glasses to be refilled, Mace smiled at the girls from the planet Slash. They looked dizzy and talked about the crew of a spaceship called Enterprise, but they seemed not to be completely comfortable with the topic.

Damned Vos! Mace recognized the signs of a mind whammy when he saw them.

"There!" He set the glasses down with an extra thud, and his two friends parted, lips puffed, eyes glazed over.

"I'd like to return to the item we discussed, if you don't mind!" Mace said smugly.

"What item?" Quinlan asked.

"There is no item." Qui-Gon said.

"Oh yes, there is!" Mace raised his glass, "Knight Jinn's mysterious origins. So, where are you from, Jinn? Illegal son of some senator? Maybe the heir of an Amazon queen who was so embarrassed by having a boy child that she gave you away?"

If looks could kill... but Mace Windu took a swallow and enjoyed his life.

"Oh, maybe his mum is a nightclub singer," Quinlan suggested, "And you've been adoring her half your life, Mace."

Qui-Gon chuckled. Mace's taste for ladies crooning with husky voices was well known.

"Blah-blah!" Knight Windu scowled, then he grinned. "Got it! You're the outcome of an illegal interspecies cloning experiment: your daddy a human, your mother a Wookiee!"

"Mace!"

Quinlan couldn't help laughing. "Yeah, and your dad is Master Dooku, and he left when that became public..."

"That's no fun, Quinlan!" Qui-Gon snorted, really hurt, "You know it was his quarrels with the Council that made him leave!"

"I know, and I'm sorry, Qui." Quinlan ruffled his friend's brown hair and tried to kiss him, but Qui-Gon sat back.

"So, if you really have to know..." he growled and folded his arms across his chest, "First: I don't know who my father is. There is no entry in my file."

"Ah, so you're probably the Chosen One." Mace smirked.

"And you're an ass, Windu, really!" An icy blue gaze pierced Mace. "And my mother... you'll find her on position 249 of the Republic's Most Wanted list."

"Wow! An outlaw's breed then, serving the Republic's law enforcement! I'm impressed!" Quinlan raised his glass, "A toast then on the right choice of sides!"

"On the right side..."

Mace searched in his robe.

Quinlan and Qui-Gon stared dumbfounded at him when he put a datapad on the table.

"You brought your datapad into a club?" Qui-Gon asked in disbelief.

"Why not?" Mace shrugged and presented them the inner pocket of his robe, which he'd had added, "I have it always with me."

"You'll end up as a Councillor, if you continue like that!" Quinlan shook his head.

"Why not?" Mace replied with a grin.

The two other Knights looked at each other and sighed.

"I have the bad feeling, that then I'll be in constant quarrel with the Council," Qui-Gon moaned. He leaned on Quinlan for reassurance.

"My, she's..." Mace gaped at the display, "A ... bounty hunter?!"

"A what?" Quinlan jumped to snatch the datapad.

"A bounty hunter. Sometimes also slave trader or weapons smuggler," Qui-Gon said in a small voice, "The files say she gave me away because I always mindlessly screamed when someone got hurt. She couldn't use such a child in her business."

"She's..." Quinlan looked at the photo, then at his friend, "You've got her eyes."

"And the colour of her hair." Mace took away the datapad, "She is beautiful! So stern and arrogant..." he said drinking in every detail of the image.

"Mace, would you please stop mooning over my mother!"

"Oh, come on, Qui," Knight Vos teased, "We all know his taste for elder ladies."

"This is not an elder lady, this one is..." Mace bit his lip to gain control over his enthusiasm, "Sorry, Qui-Gon."

"And you think, she might come to the ceremony tomorrow?" Quinlan looked suddenly worried, "She better come in disguise..."

"Have you ever met her?" Mace asked.

"Several times when I was on missions with Master Dooku." Qui-Gon admitted, "Strangely enough, she always had an interest in my progress. And she was fond of Master Dooku, and vice versa, I think." He blushed.

"Wow. That might become indeed an interesting day in the Senate tomorrow." Mace scratched his black curls.

"Hm-hm." Qui-Gon nodded sadly, "You won't tell the others, will you?"

"No, of course not, love." Quinlan glared at Mace as a warning, "No-one will know, no-one will tell."

They had two more beers each before they decided to return to the Temple. It was rush hour in the party zone of Coruscant and they had to wait for an air taxi. Some more people gathered at the platform.

Qui-Gon blinked and tightened his grip around Quinlan's waist to get his attention.

"Wha..."

At the same moment the two other Jedi realized the body armours under the cloaks of the bystanders, they also recognized the Force signature of blasters with the safety catch off. A dozen of them.

"Oh shit!" Mace breathed. His dream of becoming a Council member seemed suddenly much further away.

"Let's avoid causing fuss and nobody will get hurt, Jedi," a husky female voice said behind the young Knights. They turned around and saw a tall woman in the armour of a bounty hunter, smiling at one of them. She had impressive blue eyes and brown hair, streaked with silver. Her stance was regal, really arrogant, and Mace's jaw dropped in awe.

"I'm unable to attend your celebration tomorrow for well-known reasons," she said with a smile, "But I'd like to congratulate my son and heir."

She grabbed Qui-Gon and kissed his cheek, "I don't like the folks you're with, son, but nevertheless: My congratulations."

Qui-Gon blushed furiously. "Thank you," he managed to say, "And, uh..., what are you doing on Coruscant?"

She smiled. "You don't want to know, my dear. Bounty hunter business. Go back to your Temple."

--the end--