I wrote this story to illustrate one of the memories Obi-Wan
describes in "Touch", my previous story. It's PG, no serious
smut, although if this one goes well, I expect I'll write the
smutty sequel. This one has a little bit of plot! And it's so
h/c. Comments and criticisms loved, craved and desired by the
real me (Holly).
Series: Not really. Not yet. Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan's about 22 or so in this one, assuming he's 25 in TPM.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Only if you have no idea who/what Obi-Wan Kenobi,
Qui- Gon Jinn and Jedi Knights are. No plot points from TPM
revealed.
Archive: Yes to Master and Apprentice and SWA-L, with pen name
and e-mail address intact; everyone else please ask first.
Summary: Obi-Wan is injured while on a dangerous mission, and
Qui-Gon is forced to reconsider his relationship with his
apprentice.
"Stay close, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon Jinn ordered. "I'm sensing
danger for us here." Master and Padawan walked unobtrusively
through the crowded streets of Bachuca Erodon, a small city on
a distant world far from where Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted to be.
Constant travel and instruction had taken their toll on the
young man of late. He felt somewhat weary and irritable, unable
to focus his abilities on the task at hand.
The Jedi Master had been sent to this world to locate and gain
information from a supposed assassin named Achoi Terat, whose
latest target was a high-ranking diplomat from Alderaan.
Qui-Gon's instructions were clear. He was to learn who had sent
the assassin, then take him into custody and deliver the man to
local authorities. He had brought his apprentice with him on
this mission as tradition demanded. The only path to the
assassin had been through delicate negotiation, mind
manipulation, and an occasional bribe. Now that they were on
their way to confront Terat, neither the Jedi nor his Padawan
learner could afford to appear hostile to the local populace --
especially at this crucial moment.
Qui-Gon looked sharply at his apprentice, sensing a disquiet
energy. The younger man's body was tense. He was more a raised
weapon than a tool of negotiation. Qui-Gon stopped in
mid-stride and turned to Obi-Wan. "Perhaps you should wait in
our quarters while I find this assassin." It was not a
suggestion.
Obi-Wan's anger flared at the insinuation he was no help to his
teacher. Impatiently, he whirled and said, "You cannot protect
me forever, Master."
Qui-Gon made sure his surprise did not register in his voice,
or on his face, as he replied mildly, "If I must protect you
because you cannot attend to your responsibilities, you place
me at risk, Padawan. This I cannot permit. I cannot defend you
and myself as well. I must be able to rely upon you to
defend me when necessary. In your present state of mind,
I cannot do so."
The words seemed harsh, but truthful, and Obi-Wan flushed with
the fury and embarrassment of self-awareness. Taking a deep
breath, he blurted out, "I won't leave you alone, Master! This
man is dangerous."
"Of course he is. That's why we've been sent to capture him."
Qui-Gon scrutinized his pupil. He felt a mass of conflicting
emotions from the young man. Rage, barely controlled.
Exhaustion. Worry, for Qui-Gon and himself. Frustration at not
being able to read his teacher's thoughts. And ..
Qui-Gon blinked in surprise. Waves of love emanated from the
boy, seething beneath the other emotions. Qui-Gon stopped to
consider this unexpected development for a moment. The young
man needed his approval, as desperately as a barren desert
needs water. It was a thing he had considered before. Obi-Wan
had come into his charge when he was just a teenager, barely
thirteen, and not capable of making such choices or
distinctions. Over the many years he had been Obi-Wan's Master,
friendship and respect had developed. But there was more.
Qui-Gon had withdrawn further and further behind a self-imposed
barrier so Obi-Wan would not sense his Master's affection for
him and be distracted or repelled. Qui-Gon had even convinced
himself he did not truly love the boy in any way other than as
a teacher would. It was easier to function as his Master if
there was no emotional involvement. From the beginning,
however, he had felt a deep emotional connection with his
Padawan. And somehow, Obi-Wan had managed to hide his true
feelings about Qui-Gon from his Master ...until now.
While weighing his next words, Qui-Gon watched his student
watching him. A muscle moved in Obi-Wan's cheek as his eyes
seared into Qui-Gon's, challenging him. "I won't go, master.
I-" A sudden movement behind him caused him to turn, too late.
They had been so involved in their own emotions that neither
Master nor Padawan had sensed the approach of the assassin. Two
shots from a blaster, and Obi-Wan howled in pain before
collapsing in a heap on the ground between his assailant and
his Master.
Qui-Gon's lightsaber was in his hand too quickly for the motion
to be seen by the naked eye. He deflected multiple beams from
the blaster before leaping forward on the offensive, a move
which was unlike him. He fought back concern and anger as he
sprang over the motionless body of his Padawan, hoping the
younger man could still be saved. There was no time to reflect
on the possibilities. Ignoring his instructions to detain
Terat, he lunged forward and struck a blow to the side of the
man's head. In response, Terat tried to fire his blaster, but
Qui-Gon's blow landed truly and severed the weapon in half.
Terat grabbed for a metal pole from a nearby parts stand and
attempted to hold it up in defense, but Qui-Gon merely extended
his hand, concentrating the Force on the object which
threatened him, and drew it easily from Terat's hands. The pole
clattered to the ground as Terat took several steps back,
evading the slashing lightsaber.
Qui-Gon wrestled with a choice. He could detain the assassin
and delay getting help for Obi-Wan, or he could end this
conflict now, without the possibility of learning anything from
Terat. Had Qui-Gon been the master of his own emotions, the
choice would have been a simple one...no man is above the
mission for the common good. Qui-Gon knew this battle had been
decided before they even arrived on the planet.
With two sure, rapid downward strokes of the lightsaber,
Qui-Gon separated Achoi Terat's hand from his body, then
severed his head. The body of his enemy fell limply to the
ground as Qui-Gon placed his saber back at his waist and went
to Obi-Wan's side. The wounds were severe, deep burns across
the Padawan's torso, and were life threatening. As gently as he
could, Qui-Gon lifted his apprentice into his arms and strode
in the direction of their nearby shelter. There was still time
to help him, and so much left unsaid. He would not let this man
die, even if it cost him everything he'd believed and fought
for his entire adult life.
//You cannot protect me forever, Master. //
Qui-Gon Jinn closed his eyes against the memory of those
prophetic words. Quietly, he fought down mounting terror that
his young Padawan would not survive the painful injuries he'd
suffered at the hands of Achoi Terat. For the first time since
he achieved the level of Master, he felt himself overwhelmed by
his emotions, ruled by them in a way which made rational
thinking difficult. He knew the need to remain open to his
feelings, to gain strength from them to help his student, but
they were crushing him.
Obi-Wan lay still and pale on his pallet beneath the window as
twilight purpled the sky beyond. Qui-Gon watched the younger
man's chest rise and fall for a few minutes, almost willing the
breath in and out. It was the only reassurance available to
him. Obi-Wan was not healing as he should, and he had never
regained consciousness in all the hours between the battle and
the deepening sunset. It would be up to Qui-Gon to help the
healing. He was afraid to try, for fear he might discover it
was beyond even his abilities. He dreaded what it would cost
him to live with that knowledge, to watch his apprentice die.
He shut his eyes and centered himself, summoning the Force with
a conscious act of will. With great effort he calmed his fear
and quieted his mind, in order to allow himself to be used as
an instrument of healing. He became acutely aware of Obi-Wan's
presence within the living Force growing faint, like a tiny
spark diminishing in vast darkness. Qui-Gon shoved the thought
away, focusing on the power coursing through him, molten and
alive.
Slowly, he opened his eyes and went to Obi-Wan's side. He knelt
beside the pallet and shrugged off his dark overcloak, which
puddled behind him as it fell from his arms. With great care,
he folded the blanket back from his apprentice's chest, then
gently opened Obi-Wan's tunic. He pulled away the bandages,
exposing the ugly raw redness of deep burns across his torso.
Qui-Gon extended his hands over the slender body, feeling a
humming vibration building within them as he focused the Force.
Quite suddenly, he hesitated. For healing to take place, there
was no need for Qui-Gon to touch Obi-Wan's wounds. Something in
Qui-Gon compelled him, something he could not take the time to
examine too closely. He lowered his arms, reverentially moving
his fingertips across Obi-Wan's stomach. The whispering touch
of fingers to skin was a comfort to Qui-Gon. He felt the deep
connection to his student, opened himself to it, and allowed
his emotions to flow freely from him through the Force. He
immediately felt a strength building within him, an energy
which flooded into Obi-Wan, repairing the deep damage. Obi-Wan
stirred as his master ministered to him through the loving
touch. He knew he was revealing things to his student that he
had intended to keep locked tightly away, behind unimpeachable
walls, but there was no help for it. If he survived, Obi-Wan
would remember, and it would be dealt with as it must.
As he felt the waning of the Force rippling through him,
Qui-Gon knew he had done as much as was possible. He hoped it
would be enough. Still, he did not move his hands. He rested
them there, against the lean muscles of the torso. He may never
have the opportunity again, and he allowed himself this small
pleasure. Someday, perhaps, there could be more. With a sigh,
he pulled the edges of Obi-Wan's tunic together and fastened it
over the much improved wounds. Fate, and time, would have to
take their course.
Near dawn, when the air had cooled with a fine, misting rain,
Qui-Gon woke from restless dozing when a small sound alerted
him. He rose immediately and went to check on Obi-Wan. A
pleased grin lighted his face when he saw Obi-Wan struggling to
rise to a sitting position. He quickly laid an arm behind
Obi-Wan's back and assisted him. The younger man winced as the
tender areas on his stomach were stretched and contracted.
"Have I been asleep, Master?" the pupil asked.
"Many hours," Qui-Gon said. "Your wounds were quite serious. I
was concerned. It is good to see you awake. How do you feel?"
Obi-Wan considered the question. "Weak. And sore." He paused,
then added, "And hungry."
"That's a good sign, Obi-Wan. Come, try to stand." With one arm
still securely behind Obi-Wan's back, Qui-Gon guided him to his
feet. They walked a few paces across the room, Obi-Wan cringing
with the effort. As his breathing became ragged, Qui-Gon
suggested, "Stop for a moment. Gather your strength."
"You healed me, Master, did you not?" At Qui-Gon's affirmative
nod, Obi-Wan knew all the indistinct memories of the previous
night were accurate to some degree. Some recollections were
clouded, but the knowledge of his Master's concern and love for
him seemed to resonate clearly, like a pure, perfect note of
music. "I am grateful."
"There is no need to mention it." Qui-Gon steadied Obi-Wan and
tentatively removed his arm, retreating behind the protection
of formality.
Obi-Wan studied his Master a moment, then decided to press him.
"You were afraid I might die?"
After a long reflection, Qui-Gon answered, "I was." Nothing
more. He was warring with himself.
"Master." Qui-Gon's heart skipped a beat at the sound of
Obi-Wan's voice speaking the simple title. He had not known how
much meaning could be given a word merely by the tone of voice,
and there was no doubt Obi-Wan spoke with love. Qui-Gon had
revealed so much of his heart through his healing, and there
was no way to deny it now. Wistful longing was in Obi-Wan's
tone as he said softly, "Master, when I am recovered, will you
touch me again as you did last night?"
Qui-Gon knew his own heart. There was no need for further
hesitation. He tipped the young man's chin up with a finger and
opened his thoughts and feelings to Obi-Wan. He gazed steadily
at his Padawan with luminous blue eyes, communicating without
speaking, while he watched the realization dawn in his
apprentice's mind. Obi-Wan's eyes widened and filled with
tears, betraying his astonished joy before he could stop his
reaction. Qui-Gon clasped the handsome face between his large,
strong hands, his thumbs gently stroking Obi-Wan's cheeks. "In
time, young Padawan, I will touch you in any way you desire."
He bent his head and kissed the tears which trailed softly down
the beloved face. His lips closed on Obi-Wan's with resolute
promise, tasting of salt and certainty.
Obi-Wan swayed into the wall for support, not trusting his legs
to hold him. His arms closed around his master, pulling the
larger man with him, against him, and gave into the
explorations of Qui-Gon's tongue. Qui-Gon gently disentangled
himself from Obi-Wan's embrace and pulled away slightly. "You
are not strong enough yet, Obi-Wan," he said, regretfully, in
answer to the unspoken question.
"But Master, I-" Obi-Wan began.
Qui-Gon stopped the objection by covering the willful words
with his mouth, thoroughly crushing the protest. A moment
later, when he had breath to speak again, he smiled at his
student. "There will be time for all things. First the healing
must be complete. I will not endanger you further. Rest is
what's needed." He pried Obi-Wan away from the wall which was
holding him up and swung him easily into his arms, to carry him
back to the pallet.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said meekly, pure mischief dancing in
his eyes as the teacher settled the student into bed.
Qui-Gon covered Obi-Wan's hand with his fine, long fingers.
"There will be time. I promise you."
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