Series: Eventually it'll be the first in a series called
Interludes. Which basically gives me leave to play about all
over the place *g*
Archive: Anyone stupid enough to want it. Just let me know.
Feedback: Nice but not compulsory *g*.
Disclaimer: I did a whole year of a law degree *lol*. I am
perfectly aware that this is a copyright breach. I am also
perfectly aware that suing someone with $6.25 in the bank and
an overworked credit card will get you absolutely nowhere!
Notes: This is my first attempt at Star Wars slash. Please be
gentle *g*.
I hate watching you leave, master. There is something inside me
that tears each time I watch your long strides pulling you ever
further away from me. Each time I see you leave me, I can't
help but wonder if I will ever see the icy blueness of your
eyes again - whether I will ever again look up at that familiar
face. I was not born an optimist, master. Each time you leave
me, I fear for your safety until you are at my side once more.
It is my duty as your padawan to care for you. How am I
supposed to protect you when I am not in my rightful place at
your side? When I am forced to be still, my feet held only by
my strength of will, it is as though a part of me has been
caged. There is nothing that can dull the ache of losing you,
even for the shortest absence. Without you beside me, I no
longer feel complete.
I hate being separated from you. I can count the distance as
if it were some childhood lesson. It is a physical space - I
feel it within me in a way that is in defiance of laws of the
universe. Each step between us is etched onto my heart and into
my mind in dark cutting letters, edged in blood. The light that
surrounds me when you are by my side dims almost to
nothingness. All around me seems grey. The shadows are longer
and they seem to reach for me as I move as in a dream. Nothing
is as real without you. Nothing has that crystal clarity that
it does when your presence is so much more than just a memory.
When I am with you my head somehow seems to overrule the
whisperings of my heart. But as soon as you are gone I can
think only of the time that has been wasted.
It can be no other way, and yet that knowledge never helps to
ease the ache. For what good is logic when something inside me
is breaking? What good is reason when all that I can see in
front of my eyes is you and dreams of us that can never be? I
feel as though I have thrown something away, in letting you
leave without telling you how I feel, and yet I realise that to
do so would be foolish and would ruin what we have as master
and apprentice. And there is nothing I want less than that,
master. It is hard enough to exist when you are not within the
stretch of my eyesight. If you were no longer within the reach
of my mind, I am positive the last shimmers of light would drip
from my being. It is only when I feel truly alone that the
darkness beckons so enticingly. It is only when I miss you that
the dark side feels this close.
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