Warnings: AU (compared to JA), knowledge of Inner Strength
series will help.
Spoilers: vague mentions of events in IS1: Inner Strength, IS3:
Inner Struggle and IS4: Inner Spark
Summary: Mace considers the changes in his friend.
Feedback: The feedback y'all have sent me over the past few
months is what helped resurrect this series. I would love to
know if you like this one too.
Notes: Just remember - in this little universe Mace is a
Good-Friend! Mace variety. This takes place immediately
after IS4: Inner Spark. And italics mean a flashback or
perspective change.
and i'm posting this from egroups.com and crossing my fingers
it goes okay :-)
Thank Yous: to Beth for being a slave driver and making me
rewrite part of it like 50 times, and Kris and Keely for
looking at the original idea.
Disclaimer: since it looks like lucas refuses to give us
stories about obi and qui before the movie, other than the far
too few JA series, (but full length novels about obi and ani?
sigh.) i'll have to do it myself :)
Rubbing a hand across his face, Mace Windu let out a long
breath. He glanced at the clock and groaned. His early
appointment at the Krenian Embassy the following morning was
not going to be pleasant if he didn't get some sleep soon.
As Mace pulled off his robe, he thought over the day's events.
Now that the crisis was over he couldn't help but laugh.
He hung his cloak on the rack near the door and fought back a
yawn. Sitting down at his desk, he skimmed over the list of
things he needed to do that afternoon. He winced at the two
official reports that were due to the Council, but ignored them
for the time being.
Instead he pulled up his personal journal entries. Looking at
the entry dates, it was easy to tell how long it had been since
he had used the journal. Normally he preferred to refrain from
writing about personal matters.
However, events of late had been anything but normal. Entering
in the date, he began to write.
Today must have been something of a first. Not for the Jedi,
certainly, but for Qui-Gon Jinn? Rescuing children and kittens
from the lower levels? There is no doubt it was a first. I have
to wonder what Qui-Gon will manage to do next.
Yet, after Xanatos and so many years, I never expected Qui-Gon
to feel comfortable around any of the trainees. Much less
choose to spend time with one. That idea made the night he
finally told me about young Obi-Wan Kenobi quite the
surprise.
For so long he's pushed himself from one mission to another,
scarcely bothering even to breathe in between. He seemed
determined to keep everyone at arms length, even those of us
who did our best to prevent it.
Qui-Gon has been my best friend, along with Bri when he was
still with us, for as long as either of us has been at the
Temple. When he lost Xanatos, I worried at the guilt he held so
tightly inside. The friend I had grown up with was, in a way,
lost as well.
When he was finally moved to speak about it, no less than years
after the fact, Yoda and I were there to listen. Even after
that, there wasn't an improvement for much time. Then he
changed. Now there's a spark in his eyes I haven't seen since
before that dark time.
I wondered at that change when I first noticed it, but was at a
loss to explain it. As well as why I had seen Qui-Gon around
the Temple more in that time, than in a span of years
previously.
I first discovered Obi-Wan when I sought out Qui-Gon, only to
find him at the healers. He was slumped, half-asleep on a
bio-couch that looked barely large enough to hold him. Much
less him and the ill child he was clutching against him. For a
moment I just stared the silent scene, both surprised and
confused.
Nothing short of an entire fleet of starships could have moved
Qui- Gon from that room. He simply refused every attempt to
remove him from the boy's side. Even then, amidst true concern
for the child's life, it was obvious there was a connection
between them. In a way, it was an inspiring sight to behold.
Then one night, when Obi-Wan was still with the healers, but
well on the way to a full recovery, Qui-Gon finally left his
side. After cleaning up, he stopped by my quarters.
We ate a late dinner and he told me about the boy that had so
grabbed his heart. It was such a far cry from the days after he
met Xanatos. Peaceful, relaxed, innocent and endearing? None
are terms I would have applied to that particular apprentice.
He told me about finding Obi-Wan, hidden in a maintenance room.
How he had felt, almost before even seeing the child, a bond he
couldn't explain with a pull he couldn't deny. Qui-Gon almost
looked sad, speaking about that night.
"I almost didn't see him, pressed into the corner." Qui-Gon
stared at his tea, which he had been clutching tightly in his
hands. I knew if I were to stay quiet my friend would continue,
and several long moments later he proved me right. "He was
trying to hide."
He met my eyes, and there was pain there I hadn't expected.
"He hid because he had watched his family die, his world
destroyed, and he thought it was wrong to cry."
We were both thoughtful for a moment, Qui-Gon lost in his
memories and me to my surprise. When he spoke again, his voice
was so low I almost didn't understand, even in the total quiet
of my quarters. "Is this what we teach the children, Mace?
Rather than to accept emotion, we tell them not to feel at
all?"
I shook my head. "No. But there are times when the initiates -
especially the younger children - misunderstand that releasing
emotion doesn't mean ignoring it."
He nodded, and I let go of a long breath.
Qui-Gon spoke of other times, happier ones. I couldn't
help smiling at how . . . bright - for lack of a better word -
he looked talking about them. Even when he was cringing at the
memories.
He laughed, one of the few true laughs I've heard from him
in many years. Looking upward, he fought a grin. "He's gotten
me into trouble with Yoda already."
"Well, that was inevitable," I replied with a smile. "You were
always in trouble with Yoda."
"Not always." He shook his head and looked at me with a
devious look. "And certainly less when I wasn't around
you."
I held up my hand. "Hardly my fault you kept thinking of
trouble for us to cause. Add Bri, and the mess was always far
worse."
The light in his eyes faded at my mention of our shared
friend. Again he looked at his hands, his tea long cold and
abandoned, rather than meeting my gaze.
"When Master Kohn told me what was wrong . . ." He paused,
and I understood his unspoken fear. "It was like Bri all over
again." He looked around the room before speaking, finally
looking back to me.
The slightest hint of fear resurged in my friend's heart,
before I felt it released into the Force. When he didn't
continue, I spoke up. "You saved him, Qui-Gon." My voice was
low, but I knew he would understand every word. "He's alive,
and safe. And that is because you wouldn't let him go."
Qui-Gon shook his head, and I almost smiled at the typical
Jedi stoicism. He wasn't thought the epitome of a Jedi for
nothing, even I must admit. "I did what was needed."
I nodded, smiling faintly. "You're both fighters, apparently.
Cut from the same mold." I couldn't help it, I laughed softly.
"Force help us all."
He smiled at that, and the tension broke. "So," I continued a
moment later. "When do I get to meet this wonder of an
initiate?"
We talked late into the night after that, and again I
marveled at the change in Qui-Gon. He seemed so alive, as
opposed to the shell he had become.
As it were, I didn't get to meet the boy who had wrought such
changes in my friend until I was needed to bail out Qui-Gon.
Again. Suddenly he's back at the Temple and we're back to our
old habits. Even while fighting a transport against the storm,
I was smiling. Some habits I rather like, I think. Yet one more
thing there is a five year old to thank for.
The gardens they were visiting had overgrown into a living
maze, an effect enhanced by the storm induced black-out. I
cursed several times, fighting against the foliage and getting
hit by branch upon branch.
When I finally found them, curled up together in the middle of
the garden, I hardly recognized the sleeping child. He had
looked remarkably different from when I had seen him lying on
the bio-couch, healing but still sick. I had but time to smile
briefly before Qui- Gon finally saw me, rather than just
hearing my noisy approach.
Obi-Wan woke up while Qui-Gon and I were speaking on the
transport and I smiled at the boy. He looked scared, and at the
same time faintly amused. There was little wonder what Qui-Gon
had done to entertain Obi-Wan while they waited for rescue, and
the few comments that were made confirmed my suspicion. It's
not a problem, I have as many stories to tell about him, as he
does about me. I went as far as to say so, grinning when
Qui-Gon winced.
I saw Obi-Wan more after that, including today after their
journey through the lower levels. Each time I see him, I find
myself grateful for his presence. He, in his simple innocence,
has brought the true Qui-Gon back to the Jedi. Quite a gift for
a five year old.
Yawning, Mace again looked at the clock. It was later than he
realized, so he closed the file he had been working on, and
placed the padd in his desk drawer.
Besides, he thought with a grin, that was enough sentiment for
one night.
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