The Master's Tale

by Master Jenn Kenobi (quigonjdi1@aol.com)

Archive: Yes. M_A. Others, please ask.

Category: Q/O, AU, Romance, Angst

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: None.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Can Master Jinn keep Knight Kenobi in his life? Qui-Gon's perspective. (Permitted sequel to Mercutio's "The Knight's Tale" listed in M_A archive, but does not necessarily follow her intended universe.) Reading "The Knight's Tale" first is highly recommended or it might not make sense.

Feedback: Yes, on or off list at quigonjdi1@aol.com.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to King George. I'm just playing with them. All Hail the King!

~Prelude:

Obi-Wan bowed his head and fought to regain control of his emotions. He felt guilt at having his former master follow him like this, but joy that he thought him worthy enough to do it for, even if it was a fool's errand. A few more tears slipped between his lashes. Qui-Gon shouldn't be wasting his energy on me. He needs it to recover and train Anakin.

Obi-Wan wiped the tears away with his sleeve, checked the time and position of the ship, and went in search of the boy. He found him much as Qui-Gon had predicted, taking apart a computer unit. "Hello, Anakin."

"Hello, sir. Are you running away from Master Qui-Gon again?"

Anger flared. "I have NOT- " he stopped himself, took a deep breath and released the anger into the Force. "No. I just came to let you know he is sleeping."

"Good. He hasn't been resting like he's supposed to."

"I know." Something else that's my fault. "I'm sorry. I did not expect him to do this. Especially not in his condition. Does anyone know you are here? The Council? The healers?"

"Nope. Just the ship's crew."

Obi-Wan sighed. They weren't going to be happy when they found out, to put it mildly. Oh, well, his former master was well known for going against everyone. Why should this be new? "Well, if you need anything, Master Jinn is in my cabin. Try not to take apart the food replicators in the galley. And I'm sure Master would like you to rest some, as well as work on that kata I showed you." He really wasn't sure he should be giving the child instructions anymore now that Qui-Gon was out of the infirmary, but he didn't think Anakin should be at loose ends until the injured Jedi regained his senses.

"Yes, sir. I know he won't be up to training me until he's better." Anakin's eyes glistened. "He will get better, won't he?"

"Yes, Ani. It will take some time, but he will still be able to give you lessons while he heals. You must help him as well."

"Will you help take care of him, too?"

"It is no longer my place to, but yours as his padawan." Obi-Wan's heart tightened as the title left his lips. This boy would now be the one to care for, and be cared for by, Qui-Gon; to be comforted in his embrace; to feel the warmth of his mental presence. The tears threatened to return and he quickly stamped them down. He would NOT break down in front of Anakin again. Force knows how long the boy had watched him cry his eyes out before.

"But I don't know HOW!" Ani wailed. "He won't listen to the healers and I know he's doing things they don't want him to do. How am I supposed to help him? I don't know what to DO!"

Guilt gripped him again. This was just a little boy. So much was being laid on him all at once. It wasn't Anakin's fault his master was hurt. No, it's mine for falling and not catching up in time. "It's okay, Ani. It seems you and Master Jinn are traveling with me for a bit. I'll give you some pointers on how to take care of him. He can be quite...stubborn."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but chuckle. He placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Right now, though, I think it would be best if you got cleaned up and went to bed. It's getting late. I'll let you know when Master Jinn wakes up. If you get cold, there're extra blankets in the storage there." He pointed to a cabinet.

"Yes, sir!" Ani scrambled to the 'fresher. That was SO easy!

Obi-Wan sighed as he made his way back to his cabin. Helping the Chosen One learn to take his place wasn't what he wanted to do. It was just going to make the whole thing even more painful.

He entered the room quietly, not wanting to disturb Qui-Gon if he still slept. With the bond gone, he couldn't tell any more, but with the Jedi Master's injuries, he suspected he was -- and probably would be for a while, since he had been exerting himself.

The older man was indeed still sleeping. Obi-Wan settled himself in the chair near the bed and watched the gentle rise and fall of his former master's chest. How close had it almost come to those lungs never filling with air again? He closed his eyes and sighed again, letting his head fall back against the chair. Tears slipped from between closed lids. He felt so empty. And tired. He knew he should meditate again, but he let himself succumb to the pull of sleep.~

<<< >>> A nightmare of red and black woke Qui-Gon a few hours later. A couple of blinks and he was able to reorient himself. The ache in is chest reminded him that the dream hadn't been that far from reality, but he welcomed the ache compared to the alternative.

He turned his head and saw Obi-Wan sleeping in the chair next to him. Relief flooded the elder Jedi to see that his former padawan hadn't taken the opportunity to lock himself away in another part of the ship.

His heart clenched with the thought of the depth of pain he had caused Obi-Wan through his own stupidity. It had been hidden from him so well. He only hoped he would be given a chance to make it up; to prove Obi-Wan was invaluable.

Both to the Jedi and to Qui-Gon. ~Especially me. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. And I'm going to loose him if I don't do something about it now.~

He watched the young man sleep and noticed that, despite how tightly he had his robe pulled around him, he was still lightly shivering. Qui-Gon raised his hand and used the Force to call his outer robe from the hook at the door. Due to his injury, his control wasn't as sure as it should be so he was unable to lay it over Obi-Wan as gently as he intended. The motion was enough to disturb the sleeping knight. Obi-Wan's eyes opened and looked down at the dark robe covering him. Upon recognition, his head snapped to Qui-Gon who was staring at him intently.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

The young knight shook his head. "You shouldn't be using the Force for that."

"Just because you're no longer my padawan doesn't mean I would forget you get cold during space travel, especially in the night cycle."

"Then you won't have to learn something new for Anakin in that regard." Obi-Wan rubbed the back of his neck, then ran his hand through his short golden-red hair. "I hadn't really planned on sleeping right now and I --"

"You need to sleep sometime." Qui-Gon reached out toward the younger man. "Come here. Let me help you with your neck."

"No. You're the injured one. Don't waste any more energy on me. Y--"

"Nonsense!" There was fire in the master's eyes. He grabbed Obi-Wan's wrist and pulled him towards the bed. He was silently thankful the young knight didn't resist, not sure if he could win that struggle. "A neck rub is the least I can do for you." He made Obi-Wan turn his back to him. "While I do need to conserve strength to heal and teach Anakin, I think I can expend enough to massage your neck. Especially since you got this kink from sleeping in a chair because of me."

Qui-Gon noticed the clenched jaw and slight tremor as he touched Obi-Wan's neck. It seemed he was ready to bolt from the room at the first opportunity -- and Qui-Gon noticed it didn't take him long to come up with one. "I've slept in worse positions on missions before. Speaking of Anakin, I told him I'd let him know when you woke up." Obi-Wan moved to stand.

Qui-Gon pressed his hands down on the younger Jedi's shoulders, stopping him. "Not yet. He can wait a moment."

"He's why you're not still at the healers like you should be!" Obi-Wan bit his lip at his outburst. "With all due respect, Master Jinn," he added in a quieter tone.

The older Jedi flinched at the formal honourific. "No. That's all right. It's true, but I wish to speak with YOU right now. As I said earlier, I wish to be with you."

The knight turned and looked at his former master with confusion. "I am a knight now. A play-knight, yes, but you have a new padawan."

Qui-Gon silently screamed in frustration. ~This HAS to end!~ "I know you do not trust my words anymore, but you are NOT a play-knight! You are WELL deserving of the title. I would not have recommended you for your trials if it were otherwise, even if I DID do it without warning to you. I had planned to ask you to continue to work with me before all this. As for Anakin, yes, he is my apprentice, but I could use some help with him. Especially right now."

Obi-Wan's face froze, then quickly morphed into the schooled, unreadable expression that Qui-Gon had taught him so well. The light died in his eyes and he straightened, his body tensing. Qui-Gon's heart dropped. ~Oh, Force. What have I said now?~

Obi-Wan turned away. "I understand."

~When the Force doesn't give you a two-by-four, use something else.~ "I don't think you do." Qui-Gon used a touch of the Force to tug the knight back quickly, dropping him face up on the pillows next to the elder Jedi. Before Obi-Wan could react, Qui-Gon leaned over and kissed him.

This wasn't the chaste kiss on his forehead that he had given Obi-Wan on rare occasions; Qui-Gon pressed the kiss full on his lips. He didn't need the bond to tell that Obi-Wan was shocked.

The master pulled away slightly and stared down into ever-changing eyes, coloured a beautiful sea-green right now.

"I don't understand," Obi-Wan whispered, looking into the deep blue eyes above him.

Qui-Gon brushed his thumb over his former apprentice's lips. "I thought action might work better than words. I've wanted to do that for a long time. I've wanted to tell you how much you mean to me, but I had to wait until you were a knight; until you were an equal. I am so sorry that I ever made you feel you were not good enough. That was NEVER my intent. I never knew I made you feel that way. You are an extraordinary young man. I cannot change what I did, but I would be honoured if you could find it in your heart to forgive this foolish old master. I would like for us to remain together for as long as you would have me."

Obi-Wan's expression was one of disbelief. He reached up and touched the bearded lips that had just kissed him. "Why?" was all he could manage past the lump in his throat. His eyes glistened.

"Why what? Why didn't I tell you before? Or why do I want to be by your side? I couldn't say anything before because it's against the Code for a Master to have that kind of relationship with his apprentice. I guess that could have been one of the reasons I didn't praise you as much as I should have. I was afraid my feelings for you would become obvious and we'd be forced to part. I was also afraid that you would request another master to complete your training if you knew and I could not bear to loose whatever time I had with you."

"Yet you could push me aside for Anakin."

"No. You were ready to become a Knight. An equal. I handled it wrong, but Anakin needs to be trained. He's too powerful not to be. I can't put that aside, but I will feel empty without you in my life. And I need you by my side because you are a wonderful, beautiful, caring man. Your soul shines and lights up my heart. I can understand if you do not feel for me the same way I do for you. If you can forgive me, it would satisfy me just to work with you."

"Even if we wanted to work together, the Council would not allow it because you have a padawan. The most we could hope for would be an occasional mission."

"True. It is unusual for them to approve that, but I'm willing to fight for it. I want you in my life in whatever capacity you will have me."

Obi-Wan gasped. The tears that had been filling his eyes spilled over. Silent drops slid down the sides of his face.

Concern filled the clear blue eyes. Qui-Gon brushed his fingers through the wet tracks. "What is it? I wish I could tell what you are feeling."

It came out a choked sob, "I feel so empty."

The older Jedi nodded. "The absence of the training bond. I feel it too."

Qui-Gon could see that Obi-Wan was struggling for control of his emotions. "But you will have a new one with Anakin. I apologize. I know I'll get used to it. I shouldn't be letting --"

"Shhhh. It's okay." It hurt to see this beautiful man in so much pain.

"No, it's not. I'm not honouring your teachings very well, which just proves I'm unwor--"

"STOP IT!" Qui-Gon shook Obi-Wan's shoulders. "You are MORE than worthy!"

The movement pulled his recovering injury and he gasped in pain. Obi-Wan's eyes widened in worry and he placed a hand on the elder Jedi's chest, sending healing energy as he moved to rise, gently pushing Qui-Gon back down into the bed. "You --"

Qui-Gon's fingers on Obi-Wan's lips silenced him. Tears burned in his eyes. "Oh, my Obi-Wan. What have I done to you? You will no longer listen or believe my words. You are important to me. I do not wish to be without you. What do I need to do to prove I care; to prove my love for you?"

Obi-Wan stared into the tear-filled eyes of his former master. Slowly he reached down and touched a damp cheek. "Master." It was barely a whisper.

The Jedi Master could see the fear, pain and ... hope? ... in the new Knight's eyes. At least he wanted to believe he could still read enough of that face without the training bond. Obi-Wan had been with him a sufficient number of years that his body language and expressions should be known by the elder man. He moved his hand to the back of Obi-Wan's head, gently pulling him down and whispered against the young man's lips, "I love you with all that I am," before he pressed a kiss to them again.

Obi-Wan's hand moved to cup Qui-Gon's face, his fingers brushing the long, silvering brown hair and feeling the difference in the roughness of his beard. Obi-Wan sighed and Qui-Gon felt him relax, seeming to enjoy the kiss.

Encouraged by the reaction, Qui-Gon gently pulled on Obi-Wan's lower lip with his, then lightly stroked it with his tongue. Obi-Wan's lips parted, admitting the seeking tongue into the cavern of his mouth. It delved inside, cataloguing the feel and taste of his heart's desire as he had so long waited to do, relieved that the knight seemed to want him as well.

Qui-Gon wanted to continue, to lose himself in the bright light above him, but fatigue was warring with him. He knew he hadn't slept enough after the expenditure of energy to get on board the transport. Now he had used up more trying to convince Obi-Wan of his importance in the Jedi Master's life. His hand slipped from Obi-Wan's head.

The young knight gasped and pulled back. The master could see that his eyes were dilated with desire.

An obvious struggle was raging internally. Obi-Wan cleared his throat; an effort to regain control. "You need to rest." He sat up fully and shifted to move away.

Afraid of loosing any ground he might have made, Qui-Gon reached for him. "Please--"

"Shhh. I'm not going anywhere. We can talk more after you've rested again."

Desperate, Qui-Gon clutched his sleeve. "Rest with me."

Qui-Gon could see the hesitation. Concern had replaced desire. Obi-Wan started to shake his head. The master tried another tactic before the knight could say no. "I took your bed, and besides, it's not like we haven't slept together on missions before. And you'd be warmer."

The older man once again cursed the loss of the bond as he watched the different emotions flit across his former apprentice's face. He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding when Obi-Wan finally nodded.

Qui-Gon rolled over onto his side and slid back against the bulkhead while Obi-Wan removed his boots and slipped in next to his former master. Qui-Gon wrapped an arm around the younger man and pulled him against his chest. They both released a sigh of contentment as they drifted into slumber.