Love Lessons III - The Review Board

by Augusta Pembrooke ( a_pembrooke@yahoo.com )

Category: Humor, chan, PWP, mild angst

Pairing: Q/O, O/other

Rating: NC-17

Summary: The Council wants to know ALL the details.

Archive: MA and https://www.squidge.org/~pumpkin/augusta/augusta.htm

Warnings: Underage Obi-Wan, humor, smut. This series of tales is set in a universe and Jedi Order in which it is expected that Masters train their Apprentices in appropriate sexual behaviors. While such training takes place within a loving trust-relationship, it also begins earlier than many readers may feel comfortable with, at the onset of puberty. This means that this story will involve sexual relations between a young teen and his adult mentor. If this bothers you, or offends you, you are advised to read no further.

Author's note: I am 're-using' my "Pleasure Boy" characters s'Lantha and Targo here, but this story is not in that 'reality'. What does it mean when you 'AU' your own characters? Would medication help?

Standard Boilerplate: don't own 'em, don't ask, don't tell

Feedback: feel free

It was a worried Obi-Wan who returned to the quarters he shared with his Master later that week. He went directly to the sofa to sit beside Qui-Gon, and waited for him to finish annotating the report he was reviewing.

After a few minutes, Qui-Gon reached a stopping place and turned his attention to his concerned apprentice. "What is it, Obi-Wan?"

"Master, I'm not sure, but I sort of think s'Lantha and I might have... well, got somebody in trouble." Obi-Wan looked confused and guilty.

"Somebody? Which somebody?" Qui-Gon decided against teasing his Padawan. "Or do you know?"

"That's just it - I'm not sure." Obi-Wan took up the tale. "S'Lantha and I got called up before the Review Board this afternoon." - Obi-Wan is referring here to the Padawan Training Review Board - " About what we'd been doing? That I told you about?"

"Well, Obi-Wan, I think you know that kind of playing around when you're supposed to be working is going to get you into some sort of trouble," Qui-Gon said. "I probably should have stressed that more when we discussed it the other day. "

"It wasn't that, or at least, not just that," Obi-Wan faintly grinned. "We'd already gotten our asses chewed by the cook. And he didn't even KNOW about the potatoes."

"Please, Padawan," Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm trying to forget about the potatoes."

"It sort of seemed like, from the direction of the questions, that what the board was really concerned about was Targo..." Obi-Wan looked sideways at his master, to judge his reaction. "... seemed like they were more upset at his not ... well, handling his duties, than at us goofing off on kitchen detail. I heard one of the members whisper something that sounded like 'dereliction' to Master Windu, and s'Lantha's worried sick about it. He thinks he's gotten his master into all kinds of trouble, and he's afraid they'll reassign him."

"Oh, I seriously doubt that they would go that far," Qui-Gon hurried to quell the worst of his Padawan's concerns. "They may want to do something about s'Lantha's training deficits, but disrupting a master/padawan bond for something like this would be an extreme over-reaction, I think. I mean, many masters have to send their padawans to a tutor for saber-drills if they don't feel their own skills suffice. I see very little difference here."

Obi-Wan had to smile at this. "Very little difference, Master?" he asked, moving closer so he could direct a puff of breath onto his master's neck.

"Well, perhaps the analogy is not exact," Qui-Gon admitted, pulling Obi-Wan into the circle of his arms. "But I really think s'Lantha doesn't have to worry about being reassigned. I'd forgotten that Mace had gotten stuck with... I mean been honored with the chairmanship of the Training Review Board. He's a reasonable man; he won't act in haste or harm s'Lantha's training."

Obi-Wan had moved on from breathing on his master's neck to lightly chewing on his ear. "Oh, I forgot," he mumbled. "The Board wants to see you and Targo... tomorrow at prime."

"Oh, lords of the Sith," Qui-Gon groaned. "Just what my day needed."

Qui-Gon thought Targo looked a little grim when they met outside the conference room before the board meeting. He didn't have time to do more than to grasp his shoulder in greeting and emit some empathy before the clerk came to call them both before the board.

The board consisted of three Jedi Masters whose collateral duties included overseeing the training of all the Padawans; another board dealt with issues of initiates' training. Masters reported yearly to this board on their Padawans' progress. The board also dealt with ad hoc issues that arose in between these periodic reviews; this meeting represented one of these issues.

Mace Windu started off by telling the two Masters that the meeting was occasioned by the realization that Obi-Wan was tutoring s'Lantha in skills that he was apparently not learning from his Master. He reassured Qui-Gon that there was no blame assigned to Obi-Wan as a result of this, although Qui-Gon might want to re-emphasize appropriateness of time and place for a while. He then turned to Targo.

"I see in your files, Master Targo, that you were explicitly directed, when you were allowed to attach a male padawan, to come to terms with some way of dealing with this issue before it arose." Windu looked at Targo, giving him a chance to speak.

"Yes, I know, and I was planning to bring it up at our yearly next month," Targo offered rather desperately. "I had hoped that my love for the boy would help me overcome my aversion to ... loving my own gender, but it didn't happen. I was going to ask the board for advice on how to address this - get the boy the training he needs.." His voice faded on this last.

Mace read from a data cube for a moment, then said, "Well, having interviewed both s'Lantha and Obi-Wan, the board feels that Obi-Wan has done a rather good job thus far in conveying the lessons to his friend. We may certainly disapprove of his chosen venue..." smiles around the table at this... "but we are all agreed that his intentions and his actions were good and we suggest that we allow him to serve as s'Lantha's tutor in this regard."

The relief Targo felt at this last was tangible throughout the room; they all felt it. This problem had clearly been eating at Targo for a long time. Still, he wasn't quite off the hook.

Windu went on, "We have to note, though, Master Targo, that you were derelict in not reporting this problem to the board earlier. Waiting for a scheduled review really is no excuse; when a Padawan is ready for the training, it is very dangerous to leave him in the dark." Targo lowered his eyes. "You are very fortunate that he did not fall into the hands of someone who would take advantage of his vulnerabilities now. A young knight or even an older Padawan who was unskilled or uncaring could have damaged him enormously at this age."

"I know," Targo murmured. "There is no excuse for my procrastination. And it would have destroyed me if my negligence had led to any harm befalling that boy - I do hope you believe that."

Windu looked sympathetic, but stern. "I'm afraid we're going to have to put a note in your file; I would not be able in good conscience to recommend that you take a male padawan again."

Targo accepted this with good grace. "In fact, Master Windu, I believe s'Lantha will be my last Padawan. When he attains his knighthood, I expect I'll be rather past the age when I can look upon the training of another teen with anything but horror."

The board members all chuckled at this; one of them had long ceased training, and another was looking forward to his final freedom as well.

"The board still feels a little concern over leaving all of s'Lantha's training in this regard to one of his peers. It has been suggested that, if issues arose that Obi-Wan felt were beyond his competence, perhaps you, Qui-Gon, could supplement his tutelege..."

"No!" Qui-Gon spoke more forcefully than he had intended. "I'm sorry, Mace, but it's out of the question."

Windu looked a little surprised at Qui-Gon's vehemence. Qui-Gon went on, "You know the nature of the relationship that has to exist before this kind of training can be considered; total trust, selfless love. A relationship such as exists between a Master and his Padawan. S'Lantha and I do not have that kind of relationship. But if you put me in the position of giving him this kind of intimate training, a bond is sure to develop between us which would interfere with Targo's ability to teach him. And in my ability to train my own Padawan." Targo and Qui-Gon shared glances - Targo radiating gratitude, Qui-Gon conveying understanding. "There's a reason why the code forbids a master having more than one apprentice at a time. And there's a reason why it's called 'making love'. Please don't put me in that situation. I think Obi-Wan has proven to be a very good student and is a very loving boy; I would prefer to leave s'Lantha's training to him."

Windu nodded. "Well, we can always reevaluate the situation again later. Thank you for your time, Master Targo." He made clear that Targo was free to leave.

Targo turned to Qui-Gon and said, "I do love him, you know."

"No one doubts that, friend," Qui-Gon reassured him.

"Master Qui-Gon," Mace called him back. "There is a separate issue we wish to discuss with you."

Qui-Gon slowly turned back to face the trio. Mace looked nervously at something on his data-cube, and began. "Qui-Gon, after interviewing Obi-Wan, the board feels it needs to inquire... there was some question as to.... well, it appears at least that he may be a little too attached to you."

"Of course he's attached to me, he's my apprentice." Qui-Gon was puzzled.

"There is a concern that an over-dependence on you might... make it difficult for him to form age-appropriate relationships... " Mace was reading aloud from something on the cube.

"We just got through talking about his relationship with s'Lantha," Qui-Gon pointed out. "I'm not sure I understand the issue."

"Well, since the issue has been raised, I'm afraid we're obligated *by regulation* to ask you some questions." Windu was obviously uncomfortable. It was clearly some other board member who had insisted on this point.

Qui-Gon sat back down. Windu opened a folder and said, "These questions are not designed to embarrass you, but to assess the nature of your relationship with your padawan. I know this is going to be uncomfortable, but we really have to ask them... okay, where does Obi-Wan sleep at night?"

Qui-Gon looked at Windu with disbelief. "You have GOT to be kidding."

Mace looked miserable. "Qui-Gon, it's on the form! I HAVE to ask you."

At this, Qui-Gon leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Where did you sleep, Mace, when you were Obi-Wan's age?"

Mace was stunned as the memories rushed back. Memories of a much younger Mace, rubbing up against his master like a cat in heat. Yearning for the night, so he could lie in those arms, and feel those lips on his. His desperate clinging surrender as his master made love to him. He realized sadly that he had never since felt as loved or as safe as he had when he slept in his master's bed.

An uncomfortable silence was finally broken by one of the other board members. "If you would just answer the question, Master Qui-Gon, we could proceed. None of us want to drag this out all afternoon."

Qui-Gon searched his memory for the man's name, found it - Fennimann. Supposedly the Order's best clinical psychologist, specializing in the master-padawan bond. "Obi-Wan sleeps in my bed," Qui-Gon answered shortly.

"Do you do anything to encourage him to seek his own bed?" Fennimann read off the next question, which was apparently contingent upon the answer to the first one.

"No, nor do I discourage him. And before you ask, I will do NOTHING that might be construed by a sensitive boy as an indication that he is not welcomed to sleep with me any time he wants to." Qui-Gon turned to Mace. "You know how often I rejected him as padawan before finally accepting the inevitability of our partnership."

Mace nodded and Qui-Gon went on, "What you may not know is that it took me months to overcome Obi-Wan's subconscious expectation of rejection from me. His every action was based on his inner calculations on whether such a move would be more or less likely to lead to my turning him away again. We've finally gotten beyond that, in large part because the training allows me to fully express how much he means to me. He trusts me now; he knows I would never reject him again and he understands why I was reluctant in the first place. He's full of self-confidence - I think his initiating a relationship with s'Lantha proves that. I will do nothing to jeopardize the current situation and return to having to work through those early insecurities again. If he's a little too attached to me right now, he'll grow out of it over time. All padawans do."

I didn't, Mace thought rather bitterly, then winced as he noticed Qui-Gon's startled glance - was he projecting? But the other two board members were busy with their notes, oblivious.

Fennimann took up the questioning again. "How far along are you in the training, Master Qui-Gon?"

"We've covered almost the entire curriculum," Qui-Gon answered readily enough. "I've elected to defer the lessons on receiving anal penetration; Obi-Wan is rather small for his age and I'd rather he reached his full growth, since I'm... well, not."

"Not?" Fennimann was having trouble parsing this.

"Not small," Qui-Gon clarified, trying not to smile.

"But you have covered giving penetration?" Fennimann was going to get his form filled in if it killed everyone around him.

"Oh yes. That lesson was enthusiastically received," Qui-Gon lost the battle with his smile.

"I can imagine." Fennimann scrolled through the text on his cube. "Let's see... the next series of questions all deal with the padawan's ability and willingness to form meaningful sexual relationships with peers, I think we can skip those... Ah. Now these questions deal with you, and your feelings."

Qui-Gon had difficulty refraining from rolling his eyes. Psycho-mythical nonsense! he hated it.

"You express confidence that your padawan will outgrow any emotional dependence on you he may currently have. Are you prepared for that?"

"What do you mean?"

"How will you feel when your padawan develops a strong love relationship with someone else?" Fennimann looked up from his cube encouragingly, but Qui-Gon said nothing.

"If it appears that Obi-Wan is not willing, or becomes unwilling, to look beyond you for sexual and emotional fulfillment, are you prepared to encourage him to do so? Insist that he do so?" Fennimann was starting to get testy. "Master Qui-Gon?"

Qui-Gon still said nothing.

Finally Mace broke in. "Qui-Gon, you have to give him the space and freedom to escape from your orbit when he's ready."

"I know that, and I have," Qui-Gon snapped. "I think his ability to relate sexually with s'Lantha proves that," Qui-Gon stood up and strode over to the window and stood looking down at the traffic bottlenecks in the air below. His voice took on a rough edge. "I am well aware that I could tie his heart to me forever right now with one word. One little word, carelessly said, and he would never look elsewhere again. Do you know how hard it is to keep from uttering that one word?" The board members exchanged alarmed looks.

"One word to secure MY heart's desire forever. Yet I haven't said it, nor will I." He turned back to the table. "It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the temptation is before me every day. But I know my duty."

Mace stood up, signaling the end of the meeting. "Well, we just wanted to make sure that these issues were in the forefront of your mind, and that you were dealing with them; we find many masters, like Targo, tend to ignore looming issues until they become real problems."

Mace made 'go on' motions to the other board members to encourage their departure, then came over to the window to stand beside Qui-Gon. "Master..." he began, then stopped in confusion.

"You haven't called me that for years, Mace," Qui-Gon smiled.

"Well, I was rather forcibly reminded today.... I want you to know that this little inquisition wasn't of my doing." Mace put a tentative hand on Qui-Gon's arm, and was relieved when his old master put an arm around his shoulders. "It was Fennimann - he has a pet theory about master-detachment that he's been pushing ever since he got on the board. I think I'm going to have to do something about him..."

"Better you than me, my oldest friend," Qui-Gon told him. "I was always awed by your facility with committee work. I never taught you that."

"No," Mace laughed. "You either got it or you don't. Still," he grew pensive here, "I sometimes wonder if he doesn't have at least a partial point."

"What do you mean?" Qui-Gon was puzzled.

"Well, you remember my wild new-knight years?" Mace was referring to the promiscuous phase he had gone through directly following his knighthood.

Qui-Gon smiled. "All new knights break loose a bit when freed from their masters," he said. "There's no shame in it."

"Well, there wasn't a lot of joy, either," Mace said ruefully. "I'm not entirely sure if you did me any favors, being quite so good at what you teach. I spent a number of years looking from someone with whom it would be as wonderful as it was with you. Until I gave up - I don't think I'll find them."

"You're a young man, Mace," Qui-Gon told him, kissing his forehead. "I didn't find my heart's desire until I was nearly fifty, and now I have to wait another decade to claim him."

Mace slipped an arm around Qui-Gon's waist and stood beside him watching the sun set behind the Coruscant skyline. "It was a very awkward feeling, you know, being put in the position of lecturing my old master on his relationship with his current padawan. Especially given that it's a relationship that fills me with nothing but envy."

"You need to open your heart again, Mace," Qui-Gon suggested to him. "If not to a lover, then to an apprentice."

"You mentioned that the other day," Mace said. "But what in the world my diet has to do with it..."

"Never mind." Qui-Gon was laughing. "Just find somebody to love. Or I'll follow through on my threat to bring you back a pet from off-world."

"Now don't you dare," Mace protested; this was obviously a long-standing joke between the two. "I'm allergic!"

Qui-Gon found a pacing Obi-Wan waiting for him in the corridor outside the boardroom. When he saw his master, he fairly flung himself onto his chest. "What took you so long? Master Targo came out ages ago."

Qui-Gon took his apprentice's hand and started down the hallway, saying "I've been told I need to emphasize time/place appropriateness in the lessons, young Padawan, and it's clear I've been negligent." But he was smiling. "Were you waiting all this time?"

Obi-Wan trotted to keep up with him. "S'Lantha and I had the place staked out. He was worried to death about Targo. But it seems like he needn't be? Was Master Targo right? They're going to let ME tutor s'Lantha?"

"Yes, Padawan," Qui-Gon told him. "The board is not going to disrupt what appears to be a working solution."

Obi-Wan was bubbling over with glee. "This is sooo great! I mean, official permission to screw around with my next-best friend and call it a duty!"

"Next-best," Qui-Gon stopped and turned to look at Obi-Wan.

"Well, yeah..." Obi-Wan smiled shyly. "You're my BEST-best." Qui-Gon felt his heart expand.

"Now, Obi-Wan, I know the lessons are a lot of fun; if they're not, you're not doing them right," Qui-Gon smiled, then went on seriously. "But the board is trusting you with a lot of responsibility here. You have to make sure that you convey all the same information that I'm sharing with you, not just the physical acts. Like the warning signs that a potential partner has abusive tendencies, or the symptoms of a relationship that is becoming unbalanced or inappropriate."

"Sure. I'll need to review it all with you, of course," Obi-Wan said happily. "I don't want to mess s'Lantha up or anything; he's really great."

"As are you, my Padawan," Qui-Gon said, stroking the back of his hand down his apprentice's cheek. Obi-Wan took this as his cue to take his master's head in his hands and pull him down for a kiss.

Time/place appropriateness be damned, Qui-Gon thought as he pulled his padawan's lithe body against his. Of course, this would be the exact moment that Master Fennimann chose to walk by them on his way to the Masters' Tower. "We're going to have to work on some issues ourselves, Padawan," he said, once the board member was out of ear-shot.

"What issues?" Obi-Wan asked again when they were finally safely back in their quarters.

"Well, there's the time and place issue," Qui-Gon said. "I'm not exactly the stickler I ought to be about this. Public displays of affection don't offend me like they do people from some other cultures. So we're going to have to watch it."

"Okay," a slightly-repressed Padawan said. "Is this an appropriate time and place?" He sure didn't stay repressed for long, Qui-Gon thought, patting the seat beside himself and allowing his apprentice to adhere himself to his master's body.

"There was also a concern raised ..." Qui-Gon hesitated, kissing the top of the head resting on his shoulder. ".. that the two of us might be *too* close."

Obi-Wan tilted his head up to look into his master's eyes. "Non sequitor," he said, tightening his hold on Qui-Gon. "There's no such thing as being too close... not to you."

"Love," Qui-Gon said, kissing the inviting lips.

"You might as well know now, Master," Obi-Wan went on after an interesting interlude, "that I'm going to ask you for a Life-Bond on my knighting day. Just so you're prepared with the right answer, and everything."

"Hush, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon told him. "You are much too young to be thinking about Life-Bonds. You have a number of years of experimentation and experience before you can even decide whether or not you want one."

"I know. I'm just warning you. I'm not even gonna ask you what your hypothetical answer would be, since I know you wouldn't tell me." Obi-Wan rubbed his cheek against his master's sleeve.

"I couldn't tell you, Padawan," Qui-Gon said. "There can not be anything remotely smacking of promises or commitments of that nature between us. I told you that when we started the lessons. I'm your Master. That's all I can be right now."

"I know," Obi-Wan sighed. "I love you, Master."

"And I love you, Padawan."

But late that night, as his apprentice slept beside him, Qui-Gon once again allowed himself to think it. To bring out his unspoken desires and to hope. The word he only thought behind the strongest of mental shields, he allowed himself to whisper. Just a breath, really - even if Obi-Wan were awake, he couldn't have heard the word Qui-Gon breathed as he looked down on him. The word he wanted to shout from the top of Temple Tower, and swore to Mace he'd never say. His secret incantation. His sacred prayer. Not a statement, really, but a wish.

"Mine."

-end

Author's Afterword - The SW Insiders' Guide gives Mace Windu's age at the time of TPM as forty to Qui-Gon's sixty. Therefore, it's not unreasonable to suggest that he may have been Qui-Gon's mysterious First Padawan, especially given that he was supposed to have been made knight exceptionally early. And that penultimate paragraph was sparked by Sockii's Incredibly Inspirational picture, Sleep. (Which I tend to call 'Mine' now when I look at it. Doesn't it look like that's what he's thinking?)