Archive : yes to Master_Apprentice, and my homepage.
Category: Hurt/Comfort, POV
Rating: PG
Warnings: Well, No one has come to my house yet to arrest me
for daring to do this - so - here is chapter 2! READ AT YOUR
OWN RISK!
Spoilers: None
Summary: Qui-Gon returns home from a difficult mission. Q's POV
- (Part of "The Master's Pathway" Series,currently under
private development.)
Feedback: yes, e-mail only
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognizable characters,
names and references, etc are the sole property of George
Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox.
Aren't we glad he created such wonderful things for us to play
with and enjoy? This fan fiction was created solely for
entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Any
similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and
not intended by the author.
QUI-GON
I can't believe this transport is taking so-o-o long. I keep
trying to sleep in the corner of the main cargo bay where all
the other refugees of the planet are huddled. But cries of pain
from my fellow travelers beckons me back from slumber.
Children. So many children crying... Once again I get up and go
to give what ease I can. Just rising causes dizziness to wash
over me in waves. From the head injury is my guess.
I know I must look as awful as they do. Covered in muck and
goo. But it is such a miracle any of us even survived, that
complaints about something as trivial as appearance, are beyond
consideration. I just wish I could stop shivering. I feel as if
I am freezing to death in this wet robe, yet there is nothing
else to change into, and many of the others are just as
uncomfortable as I am. // Accept the cold, accept the wet...
don't fight... // I tell myself as I try to meditate for a few
moments.
Standing up... Walking... Stiff and so, so sore... Trying to
keep my weak and shaky legs from collapsing under me. I can see
solid ground at the end of the disembarking ramp. The spires of
the city beyond the edge of the landing pad look familiar... //
Are we finally home? // I wonder as I follow the others into
the building without even thinking.
For a moment I halt, in a panic... / / Where is my travel bag?
! // - then I look down and find it is in my hand and I relax.
The heat in the building feels like I have just walked into an
oven! But I stopped shivering many hours ago. Now I am just
numb... even thinking is difficult and I feel thoughts and
words floating just beyond me - yet too far away for me to
bother with.
Someone in the hall grabs for my shoulder and I jerk away
instinctively. My own lack of balance sends me reeling hard
into the wall and down it, leaving a muddy smear behind me.
Quickly the person stops and bends over and is talking to me.
The words do not make sense, but the eyes seem kind... And
familiar - but I cannot think to place them now. I am shaking
as I am helped up, and the dizziness returns and this person
catches my arm and steadies me - but it hurts where he holds my
arm and I gently pull away.
"Easy Qui-Gon - take it easy - Let me call a healer - " I
realize my helper is saying, and I shake my head.
// I want to go home // - is all I think of. // I want to go
home... I want to go home... //
It becomes a mantra, one phrase for each step. // I want to go
home... I want to go home... I want to go home... I want to go
home... //
Slowly, so as not to fall down, I follow the mantra through
halls. I feel they are familiar, yet right now they are just a
blur to me. Once I stagger and nearly fall into the wall again,
and am caught by my helper from before - who apparently has
seen fit to follow me closely... I realize that without him I
would have fallen headfirst into the hard wall. I find I am on
my knees, and once again he helps me up, not protesting as I
hold onto him as the room whirls dizzily for a moment.
// I have nothing to offer a guest for musical entertainment.
// Is the absurd thought that echoes through my numb mind as
once again he steadies me, concern obvious on his face and in
his eyes. I know those eyes from somewhere... Somewhere - but
it is beyond me to complete the thought. Again the face bends
close, and now a hand gently brushes what feels like stiff,
matted, stringy strands off my neck. I think I am shaking
again... Words again... words I cannot make sense of, so I just
nod silently. I barely even notice as an arm of support is
slipped around my waist.
3 floors later I realize this person if feeding me energy
through our touch, to help sustain me as he helps me home. I
stop for a moment, pulling away, and instantly I am reeling
dizzily again as the energy feed stops. I am trying to see who
this benefactor is, and am very surprised to find my old
childhood friend Mace Windu there with his arm around me.
// Why isn't he at some Council meeting? // I wonder vaguely.
"How... did you ge' 'ere?" I try to ask... while fighting the
deep weakness that threatens to overwhelm me... But I don't
think my words are understood, as now suddenly I am swept up
into his arms as if I am a small child.
At first I struggle to be put down. Or at least I try to move
my hand to make a mind suggestion that he put me down. I can
feel his low chuckle in his chest as with one hand he presses
my head against his shoulder and pins me there, resting his
cheek against what has to be my muddied hair.
"Relax, Jinny, You are safe now... " he says softly and gently,
using a nickname that I haven't been called by for many a
year... Except by him, and my Master of course... I stop
struggling so hard to hang on to consciousness. My arms and
legs feel like molten lead as I seem to melt into him. I cannot
even lift my head. // He always was much better at that mind
influencing stuff than I was, // I think to myself as I feel
like I am drifting away peacefully... I can feel waves of calm
and comfort coming to me from the man who is holding me. I am a
little surprised at how safe I feel in his arms...
I am drifting now in images of the past... Warmth comes and
seems to gradually seep into me. It is not enough - but it is
better... Finally, I hear the call of my friend, Mace, as if
from a distance... and I reach out for him with my mind...
I suddenly come awake with a gasp and violent spasm of startled
muscles, my heart is racing. Where am I? I can't remember...
Then it comes back to me as Mace pauses in an alcove to sit
down with me in a chair. " Are you all right?" he asks, and I
nod vaguely, then notice this is very near to my home. I
struggle away from him, and he looks concerned but lets me...
yet still he follows me by a few paces until I come to the
doorlock. I pause a moment, trying my best to call up my mental
shields - I do not want my young Padawan upset... Mace stands
back as I palm the entry pad and the door slides open. I hear a
soft and obviously shocked gasp at my appearance - from someone
nearby... but my vision is fading now and I cannot see really.
// Drat this eternal weakness! // I think.
I barely manage to stagger across the threshold, all else
forgotten as I drop the travel bag on the floor. I am lucky I
do not just collapse beside it. Somebody says something to me -
again just a mumble of sounds and I turn... It is Obi-Wan - my
Obi-Wan! // I am home... // I think as I just hug him. I feel
so weak and dizzy all over again. My pulse pounds in my head,
and I tremble, helpless to stop it... // Just let me lean here
for a moment and rest against you, // I am thinking vaguely.
You are so warm my Obi-Wan... even the hand you touch to my
chest feels as though there must be some kind of inner fire to
you.
My robe is gone?. Obi-Wan is pouring water over my head and I
am sitting in a tub of hot scented water... I don't even
remember taking off my clothes... or how I got here... I had
been thinking of being so cold, in the darkness ... and now I
am suddenly in a tub of hot water. Gently Obi-Wan is lathering
my hair with shampoo I realize now. It feels so good to have
his fingers working slowly over my scalp and through my hair...
I feel utterly helpless as he gently pours water over my head
to rinse the soap away, then even more gently repeats the
process, over, and over, and over, and over... It seems
endless... and between the hot water and his ministrations I
feel much of the tension in my back and shoulders melt away. I
feel his concerned touches to my mind every few seconds...
cautious, but very, very gentle and reassuring.
Now he is running the tub again... no... he is draining what
has become muddy water, and replacing it with new I now
realize. I see him add bubble bath to the water... I love
bubbles in the bathtub... Don't ask me why, but I do... Now I
relax back contentedly. I can feel the numbness leaving my
hands and feet even now... My arms no longer feel cold against
my stomach... I sink down to submerge my shoulders and just
allow myself to drift in the sensations of warmth. There had
been a time just a few days ago when I thought I would never
again enjoy such luxury as this... not in this plane of
existence anyway...
I can feel Obi-Wan... Just beyond my awareness - gently washing
me part by part. I am so lost in relaxation and warmth that I
cannot even react to the emotions I feel coming from my
Padawan... I reach along the training bond and can see that he
is upset at the number of bruises he has found on me. // Oh, my
Obi-Wan... You are the only reason that they are only bruises
and not actual wounds. //
// You - to be able to return home, continue to train you -
guide you - yes, count you as a trusted friend... There have
been moments recently where those thoughts were the only thing
that kept me from just lying down and giving up. // My pulse
still pounds in my throbbing head, and I realize I have had
this headache for four days... And that I have just drifted off
enough to let my shields drop so you probably felt it.
//I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, I am sorry, // I think to myself... but I
cannot reestablish the shield now... I am far too weak and much
too tired... I feel like a boneless jellyfish, simply adrift
and at the mercy of the tides...
Now I am standing up, and you are wrapping my robe around me...
And I have no idea how I went from tub to this... And I really
should care more than I do... Now I feel you hug me... Did you
sense how 'disconnected' I am right now? Maybe some tea would
help revive my muddled mind.
You tell me to sit while you go and prepare my tea. Almost as
soon as you leave the room, I feel faint - dizzy - I want to
call out to you for help, but it was too fast for me to react
properly... I try to meditate, increase the blood flow and
oxygen to my brain... discover what injury has caused this
reaction in me so I can heal it... and I am surprised to find
it is not really caused by injury in the normal sense. Since I
walked in the door, you have been sustaining me with extra
energy of your own - and with you in the other room, I am too
weak to maintain the connection by myself.
You are back in just a few moments... I have at least managed
not to lose consciousness entirely... But I do not want you to
feel a burden in maintaining my strength. I am the Master
here... You are the learner. Fortunately you are already too
distracted by my condition to be feeling behind any excuse I
give you for what you may sense from me..
You do not mention anything... so maybe the tea is helping...
at least it is reviving enough to allow me to get my shields
part way back up. I take a brief visit to the refresher to
allow me to splash a little water on my face as well. It does
not help, and I am beginning to realize I am simply at the end
of my strength and my endurance. I feel frazzled... Shaky. Most
of what is said to me is totally unintelligible... I hurt
still... It was much too intense and much too long and now I
realize there is an emotional price as well.
You have my hairbrush by you on the bed I notice. Funny -
something as simple and everyday as a silly hairbrush... And
yet it means so much. I love it when you take the time to brush
my hair for me. You gesture me over as you say something I
cannot make out - but the gesture I am familiar with. I go and
sit before you on the floor. Every stroke of the brush I feel
lividly. It feels as if you are almost pulling the events of
the last week out of me and scattering them to the ether. After
awhile I cannot even keep my head up and rest on your leg. If I
were a cat I would be purring, this feels so exquisitely
wonderful. I half-dream I feel you kiss me on the head even.
I am eternally grateful when you open the bed... I have the
will power of melted hot candle wax - meaning - I have none at
all... Even though I cannot understand a word you are saying, I
know you wish me to lie down... and I just do not have the
strength to resist... At this point in time I feel so totally
helpless and non-functional that it is almost a little scary. I
am aware of softness under my cheek... You coming back and your
weight on the bed beside me... And some soothing scent that
seems to fill the air... Then - your gentle touch to my back.
The massaging of my back and kneading of those sore muscles
there is just - just - words cannot even express what is felt.
I would stay right here - just like this - trading absolutely
nothing at all for all the rest of time if I could... Bliss...
this must be a state of bliss I think vaguely to myself. My
thoughts meander without direction...
I drift gently up to lie just below the edge of actual
consciousness. I can almost see myself lying beside you,
utterly limp and completely vulnerable. You are reading the
poetry on my datapad... I wonder if you will realize that it is
not that I do not have dreams of future events... it is more
that I refuse to acknowledge them to anyone else. I hope
vaguely that you will see this as just a mere coincidence... I
see the waves of affection and healing you are sending me, even
as you absently stroke my hair and rub my back, I feel it...
And it reassures me... and I return to the oblivion of sleep -
gladly.
I may sleep for the next century or two as a matter of fact.
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