Master Apprentice Archive The Little Match Xan Quick search:

Category: Humor

Rating: PG-13 for cussing

Summary: Xanatos has an early and ineffectual therapy session

Pairing: Some Q/O/X, really, emotionally ...

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters property of Lucasfilm, Ltd. No money was made from this story

"Good Afternoon, Xanatos," said Brainsorter Pymm. "It's good to see you again."

Xanatos attempted a polite smile.

Pymm settled a datapad unobtrusively onto his lap. "How are you feeling these days, Xanatos?"

"I'm fine," replied Xanatos mechanically.

When Pymm merely raised an eyebrow, watching him in silence, Xanatos added a bit impatiently, "There's no reason for me to be here. My Master's got another wild hair over nothing."

"Your Master thinks you've been hitting the porani pretty hard, Xanatos."

"It's not true! I only smoked it once and I felt like shit! I will never," he vowed solemnly, "Get high again."

"Xanatos, I'm not here to judge. I want to help you."

"Only once, I swear it. But I keep having nightmares."

"Ah."

"Really bad ones. They got worse after my Master put a Warrior Snuggles in my room and scared the hell out of me."

"Your Master put a Warrior Snuggles in your room?"

"Yes," said Xanatos hotly, still stung by the indignity.

"Why?"

"To scare me, to make fun of me! You should have heard him laugh!"

Pymm tapped a few keys thoughtfully. "He said he wanted to make fun of you?"

"Of course not. He said he wanted to make the nightmares stop. Well, they're worse," said Xanatos with bitter satisfaction. "And he doesn't want to deal with it, I guess, so here I am."

"Why don't you tell me about these dreams?"

"No way." Xanatos shivered. "I can't stand even talking about them."

"That bad?"

"You have no freaking idea."

"It sounds very distressing."

"You bet your ass."

"Is it the always the same dream?"

"No. Some are worse than others. There was one that wasn't too scary, but it was so...real. When I woke up I didn't even know where I was."

Pymm's fingers began to tap steadily. "That must have been frightening in itself."

Xanatos took a shaky breath. "I dreamed I had this baby..."

Xanatos huddled against the biting wind, cradling the growling, wrag-wrapped infant against the scant shelter of his chest. The sunlight had disappeared behind the towering skyscrapers, and traffic was thinning on the walkways, but Xanatos and his child had nowhere to go. He still had many matches to sell if he hoped to buy shelter for the night.

Xnatatos looked at his meager take and fought a wave of despair. It was hard, so hard to sell matches while holding a baby that snarled and clawed and tried to eviscerate anyone that ventured near. He raised his eyes hopelessly to the swiftly darkening sky. A bright streak passed overhead, and vanished almost instantly.

"Someone is dying," whispered Xanatos.

He shook his head, and wrapped his shivering arms more firmly around the child. It writhed and spat, and Xanatos rocked it soothingly, murmuring endearments. He brushed a kiss across the hairless, horn-studded head and rested his chin there.

"My poor little one," he crooned, sudden tears standing in his eyes, whether from sadness or the knifing wind, he couldn't tell. "My poor Mauly-boo." He thought with hatred of the Jedi, warm and snug in their Temple, while an innocent--well, while a baby, whatever its disposition, froze in the streets.

They had kicked him out after he had given birth and refused to name the father, like it was a Sithly Visitation or something, the bastards. And Qui-Gon had just stood aside, stood aside for it! All but held the door as he was hounded into the road.

"They'll pay," he murmured in absent sing-song, rocking Baby Maul. "They'll pay, they'll pay... pay-de-way-de-way-de-way."

It was getting colder. A slow tear made its way down Xanatos' icy cheek. "Oh, this sucks," he whispered huskily. Baby Maul rumbled angrily and one tiny fist worked loose from the swaddling rags and hit him on the smartly on the nose.

Xanatos caught the little taloned hand and kissed it, dissolving into short, harsh sobs.

"May I help you?" asked a gentle voice.

Xanatos wiped at his eyes and squinted at the figure bending over him. It was a man with a short brown beard, a tentative smile, and sad, kind, gray-green eyes. A customer, thought Xanatos, at last.

Then Xanatos realized the man was robed as a Jedi, and stiffened with instant hostility. "I don't need your help," he snapped. The baby in his arms thrashed and howled at the stranger, teeth bared. Xanatos had to shift positions just to keep hold of him.

"You're upsetting my kid," grated Xanatos. "Get lost."

The Knight merely smiled at them both. "Ah, Xanatos. I hoped you'd be past all that. But wait, it hasn't happened yet, so I'm being unfair. Sorry, it gets confusing." The Jedi cocked his head slightly, his eyes unfocused.

Baby Maul seemed to be going mad. Xanatos almost had to shout over the infant's rising screams of rage. "Whatever. Nice talking. Say hi to those sons a bitches at the Temple for me." He got laboriously to his feet, and as

Maulie almost tore himself free, he stumbled. The Jedi came forward and supported his arm.

"I'll just tag along," he said serenely, dodging a swipe from Baby Maul.

They walked through the deserted avenues in silence for a while. Baby Maul had stopped shrieking for a moment, choking for breath. Xanatos asked shortly, almost in spite of himself: "So, uh. What's up at the Temple these days?"

"The Temple is razed. Not one stone is left standing on another. All is lost, lost--" The knight caught himself and glanced at Xanatos, abashed.

"There I go again. Listen to me! Everyone's fine, of course. I was thinking of something else."

"You're a Jedi knight?' asked Xanatos dubiously, beginning to wonder how safe he and Maulie were.

"I am an individual soul held together in the Force by an act of naked, sustained will."

"Sounds tough."

"It has its ups and downs. I seem to have painted myself into a bit of a corner, though. I don't know if I'll ever be able to pass over completely, now."

"Too bad," said Xanatos warily.

"I'd like to see my Master and my old friends, but since they're just motes dancing in the featureless All, it's kind of tricky. Ah, here we are." The Jedi crossed one of the walkways and opened a door. A wide band of golden light fell onto the pavement, and Xanatos found himself peering into a room lit by a roaring fire-sim. A glittering table was laden with platters of meat, goblets of drink, and baskets of fine fruit. One roasted avian stirred on its plate, hopped off the table, and began to waddle toward them. Xanatos stood mesmerized. Baby Maul snuffed the air hungrily.

"You will be fine here, Xani," said the Jedi with a sad smile. "I have another project that demands my return. But listen, Xani..."

"Huh?'

The Jedi put one hand one Xanatos' shoulder, and Xanatos felt the weight of grief behind those grey eyes. "Xani, I feel we are almost brothers, so permit me: Whatever you happen to do, whatever choices you may make, remember that you don't need to despair. You can always start over. Hope dies only with the body, Xan, and sometimes not even then." The Jedi paused, seeming to drift, and whispered, "Luke...I'm here." Then he shook himself and smiled.

"Xanatos, until we meet again, for the first time--may the Force be with you." The Jedi grew rather blue and shimmery, and he seemed to be fading.

"Hey, wait," said Xanatos.

But the blue shimmering figure was gone. For just a moment Xanatos heard the kind, weary voice, echoing faintly in his mind.

"And this time, Xan, try to be a little nicer. Remember, I'm only a kid... "

"What do you think?" asked Xanatos.

"I think you should come back tomorrow," replied Brainsorter Pymm.

END