Lifestyles of the Dark and Famous 7

by FireCracker (KLee624820@aol.com)

submission dated 3-2-00

Pairing Q/O

A/U - Dark Drama

Royalty reunited.

Three figures appeared against a smouldering sky of deepest crimson and dark violet. Obi-Wan stared in stupefication.

He looked across endless plains, peaks and valleys that stretched to infinity. Boiling lakes and streams, geysers and lava. Volcanoes were in the distance. There was wind and sandstorm, lighting and hail. Sleet, freezing sludge. Everything was everywhere at once.

"What in force" he stammered, green eyes darkening.

Qui-Gon touched his arm. "Obi-Wan-"

"Oh, let the boy enjoy the sights" Muckluck said. He inhaled deeply, patting his chest. "Ah, to be home again."

"Let's get one thing straight, 'Muckluck' or whatever the hell you are" Obi-Wan told him. "I'm no boy. Why did you abduct us?"

He stared at Obi-Wan as if he were insane. "Is this a test, Prince? It's a joke, right?" pink eyes glimmered in confusion.

"He wasn't born here" Qui-Gon said in undertone. "Leave off of this, Muckluck. We would see the Queen."

The demon pulled his chin. Sparks flew from his multicolored hair. "So be it, Lord Qui-Gon."

"Stand over there" Obi-Wan commanded him. "I would speak to my father. Alone."

Muckluck blew phlegm from his nose. "Faugh. Soon enough you will learn respect, Obi-Wan. For I am a member of the infernal court itself."

"I don't give a damn if you're the potentate of unilateral multiverses. Stand over there while I speak to my father in private!"

"Foul tempered brat" bright green fangs clicked at him. But he moved off.

"Idiot. Father, who is this Queen everyone speaks of?"

"She who rules this realm with an iron...hand."

"What can she want? Force, how many beings are gunning for us!"

Qui-Gon looked out at the accursed landscape. "It's far too complicated for me to explain it all briefly. Suffice to say she knows you well. You will meet her and learn about...other things."

Obi-Wan stood in front of him, defiant. "I grow weary of riddles. Was yesterday a lie as well?"

Qui-Gon leaned into him, hissing. "There are no lies. Correction. I haven't lied to you. We'll go with Muckluck to get the rest of your damned answers" he spun on his heel and motioned to the demon.

Obi-Wan growled softly to himself. This place is doing something to us. We're overreacting even worse than when the Dakkari held us under spell.

With a slight sneer, he joined the others.

Obi-Wan couldn't tell if they walked for minutes, hours, or days. Time seemed to have little if any track. He saw countless people in various forms of torment either running or still. Dread filled his heart.

He glanced at his father, whose eyes glittered at the sights. He's getting off on this...

Muckluck strutted ahead of them. "Nearly there, lords. See, off in the distance."

Bleak landscape lined the horizon. Obi-Wan could have sworn he saw something shaped like a giant skull.

"Oh...oh no" Obi-Wan whispered, coming to the only sane conclusion. His heart went cold. "This is hel..."

Qui-Gon smiled strangely. "There is still more. See, along the gates."

Jagged monoliths of stone thrust from the floor of the valley, stretching as far as the eye could see. Flying demons arced in the murky air with leathery, hooked wings. Shrieks and screams filled the skies.

Obi-Wan slowed. "No. This is the ultimate nightmare. It can't be real...we've got to get back!"

He turned to go back. Qui-Gon grabbed him.

"It's too late for that, Obi-Wan. This is the truth. Now everything will be revealed to you" blue eyes deepened to black.

"Be not nervous about meeting the Queen, Lord Obi-Wan" Muckluck stated. "She will gladly give you audience."

Obi-Wan stared at the creature. "Are you crazy, demon? I don't want to meet her. And no matter her power, we will not stay!"

"You don't yet understand." Qui-Gon turned him towards the citadel. "Gain your answers first and then decide."

"She can't be anything but bad news as far as I'm concerned" Obi-Wan said defiantly. "Why are you so willing to go along with this?"

Qui-Gon turned to walk again, smiling serenely. "You have my temper, I think. More so than I would dare believe. Trust me."

Oib-Wan clamped his lips shut, resolute. So be it. We'll see what this so-called 'Queen' has to say.

"Let's go, father. I am done with this nonsense. Let her speak her piece."

He forged ahead of them both, to the huge iron gates. Muckluck looked at his Master.

"Will he be well received in such uproar?"

Qui-Gon smiled sharply. "She will love him."

Obi-Wan stormed the gates. Demons in the form of half woman, half snake sat about everywhere, coiling their ends. He couldn't count them all.

"SSsss. Look, Ekrit. A fine one, eh?" one near the gate said.

"Sssss. Gladly will I eat him."

Still another. "SsSSs. Guess he'll really pay for his sins now."

Obi-Wan eyed them with disdain. "Move aside, creatures. I've no time for you."

The first snake woman laughed, her voice sibilant. "Heeeeahhh. That's funny. You'll make a tasty morsel" she moved to attack him with scaly hands, claws held out.

"SSSSSSSS!!!"

It was over that quickly. She was a pile of smouldering ash. Obi-Wan snarled at the other demons, eyes glowing now.

"Who's next. I have buisness with the Queen!!"

They stared at him in fear. "See his face?" shouted still another snake woman. "It is He. More fool us!!"

With that they retreated quickly, slithering into the shadows. Seconds later they were gone as if they were never there.

Qui-Gon came up. "You've made quite an impression on the Gatekeepers."

Obi-Wan snorted. "They were ugly anyway. How many of those things are there?"

"The S'dera are endless. They ring the realm to prevent souls from escaping. But come, it's time for our audience. We go inside."

"You put those hags in their places, Lord" Muckluck puffed out. "I personally prefer a woman with hair. Scales are too scratchy, if you know what I mean."

Obi-Wan nearly laughed. "Muckluck, I may like you yet. You're an idiot and a liar."

"I thank thee" Muckluck bowed deeply.

Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow, amused. "We will be unopposed, Obi-Wan."

He stared at his father. "Why not? Demons are everywhere, and I don't trust any of them."

Qui-Gon flashed his fangs. "They trust power. Power that can destroy them. As you walk along, you will see."

Muckluck looked about. "The city is jumping to-day."

Obi-Wan thought it was a scene straight from a drug induced nightmare. Demons of too many colors and descriptions, selling and bartering souls. Market squares with soul parts sold as groceries. Foul creatures running about, slithering and skittering. Boiling pits everywhere. Some demons were openly having sex in the streets. And in the distance, against a gloomy sky was a structure that vaguely resembled a mountain.

In awe, Obi-Wan stared at the horizon. "What is that, off in the distance?" he pointed.

Qui-Gon followed his line of sight. "The castle of the Queen."

That's a castle? Obi-Wan thought numbly.

"Impressive, is it not, Prince?" Muckluck asked him.

Obi-Wan gawked. "Why are you calling me that! Is everyone here crazy?!"

"It is your title, by royalty" Muckluck sniffed. "'Tis inappropriate for a Prince of the blood to behave coyly."

"Father, what's he babbling about?"

"It isn't babble" Qui-Gon told him. "You must eliminate all notions of the past. Everything."

Obi-Wan was stunned as they continued through. "But why?"

Muckluck laughed, a shrill sound. "Come, Prince. This is really-"

"I said shut up!!" Obi-Wan leaped on him, choking him to the ground. He raised a hand, nails lengthening into claws.

"SSsss. That was stupid. You've made me angry now..."

Qui-Gon stood over him, saying nothing. The blue eyes were ice.

"Kghhkk" Muckluck tried to free himself, found it futile. He disappeared in Obi-Wans' hands.

"Coward. I should have ripped his face off."

Obi-Wan stood slowly as Qui-Gon continued to watch him. His son rubbed his temples.

"What's...the matter with me. Never lost control like that before...could always see it coming. Head's killing me."

"Ssssssss."

Qui-Gon touched his forehead. The ache eased.

Obi-Wan sighed wearily. "My controls haven't been this bad since the transformation first occurred, father. Why? What is it about this place?"

Qui-Gon resumed walking. "Hel is a mystic realm, and all beings within are subject to its' influence. The physical and psychic essence of hel is that of purest evil. Demons are of this realm, and so are bound. And here your humanity is buried completely. More of this will be explained when we meet the Queen."

"So all the worst in me is brought out here?"

"It's only logical, my son. And we in particular have a dilemma."

"It makes sense now. I also noticed a change in you..."

"Yessss."

Obi-Wan immediately felt wild again. "It's as if the darkness within is all there is. I feel nothing else right now." his fangs clacked together.

"Enjoy whatever you feel, Obi. You couldn't fight it anyway, nor can I."

A pause. "Do you like feeling evil?" eyes glowing again.

Qui-Gon grabbed him, kissing him hard. Hot tongue snaked in his mouth.

The regal features smiled darkly. "Come." he pulled his son along.

Obi-Wan smiled wantonly, tongue curling out. He looked about. They were walking along a wide chasm, up a winding pathway cut from rock. The bustling town was long behind them in the distance.

Obi-Wan calmed again, accepting his erratic moods. "I was so engrossed in our conversation I didn't notice how far we'd come. What happened to Muckluck?"

Qui-Gon chuckled. "Off pouting. You insulted him, but he'll get over it. He may even be with the Queen."

Obi-Wans' eyes widened as they approached the 'castle.' It was several hundred feet high, and probably a mile around. It literally was carved from a mountain.

"It took quite a while to build" Qui-Gon picked up on his thoughts.

"I can see why" Obi-Wan started at the shrieking demons flying about the castle.

"Do they ever stop that racket?"

Qui-Gon laughed. "Rarely. They seem to like noise for its' own sake."

Obi-Wan felt a tremor through his thighs. Heat raced across his chest.

"Father, turn around. I want thee."

"Hrarrgh." Eyes flashing, Qui-Gon turned. Obi-Wan leaped on him, knocking him backwards.

Obi-Wan pulled the massive cock free. "Let's not waste time. I want it."

Qui-Gon looked up at him, mane coming loose of the horse braid. "Hsss. Horny fool. Later we will discuss how to temper your impulses here. But for now..."

Obi-Wan licked his throat. The eyes were feral. "For now..."

Qui-Gon rolled him over, yanking his pants down. "Let's have hot monkey sex."

And under the dark skies, Obi-Wan shrieked his approval as he bounced in ecstacy.

They lay against red rock, gasping and shivering. Obi-Wan continued to stroke the big body, teasing bronzed nipples with a pointed nail.

"I'm almost anxious to meet this 'Queen.' After hearing so much about her and yet knowing nothing, I'm curious."

"You won't be disappointed" Qui-Gon yawned lazily, exposing impressive fangs. "And more surprises are in store."

Obi-Wan played mindlessly with the long hair. "Strange. Everything we've been through the last few years...to culminate knowing a place like this actually exists, is just amazing. But what does all this mean for the future I wonder?"

Qui-Gon glowered, eyes darkening. "The future...is an issue for the near present."

"More riddles and mysteries, father? I see you have quite a capacity for the melodramatic."

Qui-Gon made a grand gesture at their surroundings. "You call this mundane?"

Obi-Wan kissed his chest. He pulled hair over a nipple and suckled it. Qui-Gon twitched up, perfect teeth flashing a grimace of pleasure.

"Ssss. Enough, or we'll never make it to the main gate."

"How far?"

"Not more than half a mile. The passage ends at the front face."

Obi-Wan looked up the desolate ridge. "We haven't been attacked or approached. Why? There seem to be plenty enough demons about."

Another secret smile. "They respect their superiors."

Their clothing was still open and disheveled. Obi-Wan nuzzled the mat of hair, enjoying the spicy aroma.

"Do you love me?" voice muffled.

"Endlessly. What a ridiculous question."

Obi-Wan leaned back, lips pouty and plump from loving. Spiky hair wildly all over, face ruddy with lust.

"No, I just wanted to make certain that everything doesn't change here."

Qui-Gon kissed him slowly. //Perhaps I wasn't clear earlier. As with heaven, hel has its absolutes. The essential state of a being doesn't change, but the realm can influence to some degree.//

Lips pulled free with a smack. "That's a relief. I began to wonder if our behavior here was under the mercy of psychic influence."

"No, but..." Qui-Gon regarded him. "We are a special case. When we meet the Queen..."

Obi-Wan waved him off, standing up and fixing his clothes. "Yes, I know. The mysterious, she-who-has-all answers-Queen. Give it a rest, father."

Qui-Gon zipped his shirt. "You'll see" he stood as well. "I could give long winded explanations, but sometimes images simplify things."

Obi-Wan stared into the distance. "I' ll say. Let's go."

They approached the massive doors, carved from solid stone. Gargoyles of all colors and textures whooped and howled about, dotting the ledges of stone and fanning their wings.

"Skkeeech. Reger, see who approaches!!" one shouted.

"Tell the Queen, tell the Queen!" another chimed in.

"Oh, he is returned. And see who he brings, eh?!" still another.

"Silence, you oafs!!" Qui-Gon snarled at them. "Stand aside. We approach the court."

Several gargoyles alighted on boulders surrounding the pathway.

Obi-Wan continued to stare, at a loss for words. An orange one yelled at him.

"So fine, I think. Skkkeeeech. Welcome, young Prince!"

"I said silence, dolt!" Qui-Gon turned to him. The gargoyle drooped in quietude. Noiselessly the others watched, save for the subtle sounds of scaly wings beating the air.

Qui-Gon made a gesture at the massive doors. The stone slabs creaked loudly, yawning wide.

Obi-Wan felt a stab of dread. Why do I get the impression he's done this before?

In response, his father smiled slowly at him. "Come, look about in the castle of the Queen."

They entered a gigantic hallway, lined with black marble pillars on both sides. The floors were covered with velvet of the deepest hue of blue. Solid gold pallets with red cushions, stone statues of demons everywhere. Fountains with black water. Demons walked about, some humanoid, some not. They spoke in groups, many holding drinks or eating. By their manner and demeanor Obi-Wan had the impression they held rank.

//You are correct.// Qui-Gon answered the thought. //These are the courtiers of hel. They do little besides be seen and run errands for the council.//

Obi-Wan looked about. /Social climbers, even here?/

A goat faced demon nodded at them, tilting his drink. Qui-Gon nodded back, Obi-Wan duplicating the gesture. They moved along.

/This couldn't be stranger if I were a drug addict./

//Hel is full of amazing sights. You will see.//

/They seem to have a lot of pride for social butterflies./

//Vices are virtues here. They have no real power, but are envied by demons of the lower classes.//

/Like the characters outside./

//Yes. Mostly they are minor demons with considerable abilities. The council members are the heavyweights.//

"It follows" Obi-Wan said aloud. A large sculpture caught his attention. In a central alcove stood a statue carved from greenish granite. A wolf and a cub, running as if to attack, fangs bared.

Odd.

Qui-Gon came up alongside him. "I see this holds your attention."

Emerald eyes regarded the huge statue. "It fascinates me. Can't say why, though" he shrugged. "Who carved it?"

Buru of the river demons possessed a mortal artist awhile back and made it-"

"Excuse me, please."

They turned. It was Muckluck. He smiled sharply, wild hair crackling with smoke.

"The Queen is in the main chamber. She will meet with you first, then the Council will be introduced" he looked at Obi-Wan with disdain. "For your benefit."

Obi-Wan snorted. "Hello. Make an earthquake and fall into it, please?"

"Unecessary, Obi-Wan" Qui-Gon admonished him.

"Yes, but I enjoy it."

"And I wonder what your tender flesh tastes like" Muckluck stuck his tongue out."

"Weirdo."

"Brat."

Muckluck stuck his tongue out a second time. He looked so ridiculous, Obi-Wan laughed at him.

The demon sniffed. "And what are you laughing at?"

"You. You break me up!!"

Muckluck made another silly face. "How's this?"

Obi-Wan laughed even harder. "Muckluck, we just may get along after all!"

The demon smiled. "I'm a GOOD soul" he laughed at his own joke.

"Everyone's a comedian" Qui-Gon smirked himself. "The Queen awaits."

Obi-Wan was apprehensive, nervous, uncertain. A whole range of emotions, far too many to identify. Qui-Gon moved close to him. "I'm with you" he said quietly.

"I wish I could take a week off" Obi-Wan whispered. "I almost feel as if I'm losing my mind."

Qui-Gon gave him a quick hug. "You are strong, Obi-Wan. Believe me when I say you can endure."

They entered a huge amphitheatre. It was ringed with red marble columns, decorated with red velvet curtains and gold rope. The floor was round in design, made of polished black marble with scalloped steps. Stone seats were etched from the marble floor itself, circling the floorspace. More statues of demons were about. Obi-Wan turned.

"Muckluck?" he was gone again.

"Shh" Qui-Gon told him. "Look and listen."

Eyes wide, Obi-Wan stared at the central pit. Sitting and looking at them was a wolf, blacker than darkest midnight. Glacier blue eyes burned like coals, flecked with crimson. The sleek head and wide angled ears were held high.

Obi-Wan backed up, bumping into Qui-Gon.

The wolf continued to observe them, tongue flapping now.

"Father-"

"Grwrrr."

Startled, Obi-Wan moved aside as a dusky gold wolf brushed past him, powerful haunches flexed.

"What are you doing?!"

The two wolves touched noses, tails thumping the polished floor.

Obi-Wan could discern by the differences in bulk and muzzle that the black wolf was female.

He stepped up. "Father, stop making a fool out of yourself. We're here to see the Queen! Leave that creature be."

The two wolves ignored him, running madly in circles, nipping and nuzzling each other. They staged a mock battle, growling and scuffling.

"Get away from him!!" Obi-Wan felt his brain bursting with strain. This was too much.

"He isn't yours, creature. I don't know what kind of spell you've cast on him, but-"

The black wolf looked at him. "He was mine before he was yours." She lifted her tail, pacing Qui-Gon in circles. He nosed her as she moved.

"How long has this been going on, father?!" Obi-Wan demanded, not understanding anything. But something about the black wolf held him at bay.

The massive head canted at him. Qui-Gon krinkled his nose. "A proper greeting is in order for the Queen."

Obi-Wan could have fallen through the floor. "Y-you mean she??"

The gold wolf grinned, showing impressive fangs.

Slowly he advanced, words tumbling out. "But if she is...then you and her...mother, is that you?"

Qui-Gon gripped the black tail in his teeth, shaking it playfully. "No, Obi-Wan. Tallandra is indeed dead."

Rage boiled in Obi-Wans' heart. He had reached his limit. Without thinking, he shifted. A fierce red wolf bounded between the other two, snarling.

He snapped at the black she wolf, but not to bite. "Now. Release him from your spell."

"Ha." the she-wolf cantered around Obi-Wan, licking his haunches. He spun, not trusting her. She rubbed along him, slinking. "This spell?"

Obi-Wan growled softly, noting the softness of her fur.

"Or this one?" she lifted her silky tail, slapping him across his muzzle.

Obi-Wan shivered, haunches quivering. Her perfume was quite...enticing.

"You find my charms alluring?" she touched noses.

Despite his frustration, Obi-Wan found his anger dissipating. And she was a very sexy wolf. Those round haunches had a most intruiguing...bounce. His hackles went down.

"Perhaps, but that isn't the issue-"

"Enough teasing, mother. He has endured much on this journey."

Obi-Wan stood still. "Mother!!"

She rolled on her back, playfully swiping at him. "Aye. Now give a proper greeting to your old granny."

Obi-Wan fell down on his haunches, panting. He was overcome with the realization of events.

Qui-Gon padded to him, nuzzling and licking him affectionately.

Obi-Wan lifted his head, looking at the she-wolf. "You rule here?"

She licked him also. "Hail, youngling. I am Llane, the first and eldest of the Darklords. None came before me, and I have ever existed."

Obi-Wan still lay flat, ears down. "What of the others here? Their existence clearly predates mortals."

"Rise, Prince. It is not appropriate for a son of the blood to lie thus on his belly. Up!" she pushed her nose underneath him.

Obi-Wan sat reluctantly. Qui-Gon sat at his side, gently lapping the finely angled ears.

Llane paced over to a higher spot on the scalloped steps. She sat proudly, head up.

"No doubt you have questions. As is your right, I will answer them all. The others formed of their own puissance, back when time and space were as one. Their forms shaped as pleased their wont and befitted their souls."

Obi-Wan sat a little straighter. "Then, they are basically depictions of their souls and form fitted by essence?"

"Aye. This is why you may notice the wide variety of appearance. Were you in heaven you would see a similar diversity of appearance."

"I wondered at how some were more humanoid in appearance and others not at all."

"Those brutish and animalistic in nature wear forms to match. They are what they appear to be. The humanoid types are far more advanced and are of higher order in power."

Obi-Wan sat very straight now. "Grandmother, this doesn't explain your appearance."

She wrinkled her nose, laughing. "True, my Obi-Wan. My essence is the perfect blend of animal instinct and dark intellect. Thus, when my form developed it took the shape you see here. For 'tho you see my true form as wolf, my mind is not crude."

"Still, you are evil."

"Without a doubt. My soul is as black as my pelt. But know that I have only two loves, ever and always."

Obi-Wan regarded her, green eyes glinting. "Three. I am not deceived."

Her sleek head tilted. "And the third?"

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon. "My father exists. You must have loved!"

Llane snarled softly. Her tail bushed stiffly as she sat.

"And so I did."

"I would hear this, as well" Qui-Gon said. "For only once did I see my father."

"So be it, my son. The ages were heavy upon me, and I longed for family. Though I had many suitors here, none appealed to my senses. I looked to the heavens with a plan that many deemed mad at the time."

"He clearly was humanoid. But of what race?" Qui-Gon asked her. His broad tail lay over Obi-Wans'.

"Truly, he was. The Council thought me mad and advised against it. But I sought out a Guardian."

Now Qui-Gon was shocked. "A Guardian!!"

Obi-Wan shook his powerful head. "That makes no sense. A Guardian rules the light. Why would-"

She snuffed, nose quivering. "My plan was a bold one, fraught with frightening possibilities. But Llane fears nothing and dares all. I sought to make me a husband, and so I did."

"No offense" Obi-Wan interrupted. "But again, I can't follow this. What Guardian in his right mind would even get near you, much less mate with you? It's insane!"

"Ah, tis' true. I took a pleasing shape and deceived my soon to be lover and husband. But the Guardian I chose had a most unusual quality that I felt was key."

"Unusual?" Qui-Gon queried.

"His name was Eblu'Aranhe. He was the first and only being to achieve Guardianship while still alive."

"Amazing. There were rumors among the Jedi, but he was believed to be a myth, a historical reference." Qui-Gon stated, broad ears pricked high in interest.

Llane looked at Qui-Gon fondly. "You are much like him in appearance, strong of body and stature. He was defiant, with a warriors' spirit. And so very handsome. In my own way, I did love him."

"But what happened?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.

"As time went on it became difficult to conceal my true nature. Eblu'Aranhe suspected I was not what I appeared to be. Most of my strength was spent maintaining an illusion, and the realm suffered in my absence. Those were the years the Jedi referred to as the 'Golden Era.'"

"Yes, I went to many lectures at the academy about that period" Obi-Wan noted.

"It was nearly a century before I could sway his affection enough to marry me. He couldn't help but love me, because I fashioned myself as the perfect lover formed from his own mind. My dreams were fulfilled when your father was born."

"Something went wrong, did it not?" Qui-Gon suspected.

"For myself, no" Llane told him. "But when you were born wolfling, he realized what I was. He reviled you, and raged at my deception. We fought a great mystic battle, exhausting ourselves. He fled, taking you from me. I caught up with him as he attempted to dash your head against a rock. I tore him in pieces and carried you to hel."

"Did he die?" Obi-Wan asked her.

"Not in the mortal sense. But when I was through rending his essence, he was no longer capable of true life or sentient thought. He is no more than random energy in the force now."

Qui-Gon got up and paced, powerful jaws cracking in anger. His tail bushed out stiffly.

"My son, don't be angry with me. He would have destroyed you."

Qui-Gon snarled, fearsome fangs gleaming. "There are times when I despise my existence. And were I in my fathers' position I might have done the same thing."

"That is the Jedi in you speaking. Would you trade your lot for his?"

Qui-Gon stopped pacing. "I don't know."

Obi-Wan padded over to him. "What of me, father. Do you despise your existence when you look at me?"

Qui-Gon looked again at his son, marvelling at his handsomeness in maturity. Wolf or human form, it didn't matter. The fur was shimmering, deep crimson. The neck and head broad on a robust body. Powerful jaws. Thick tail.

"Force. I love thee, Obi-Wan. And when I look at you I am nothing but proud."

Obi-Wan touched noses. "Then accept what is, as I have had to do. He could not reconcile what you were."

Qui-Gon krinkled his nose in a wolfish smile. "It would seem my son is very wise."

Llane observed them, and she was pleased. They would rule well.

She paced slowly around them both, looking them over. The males were impressive by any standard, excellent in body and brilliant in coloring.

Sniffing in appreciation, her tail flew up again. "Oh, yes. I do turn out good work. Thee are both magnificent, and most pleasing to my eyes."

"I have a horny grandmother" Obi-Wan joked, tongue flopping out.

Qui-Gon head butted Llane in the side. "You're hopeless, mother. Go dive in a cool lake a bit."

Llane pretended to collapse. "And if you could tell me where in hel I could find anything cool?"

The three wolves howled with laughter.

Obi-Wan paced the chamber. "What a family. But is mother here? I know she serviced the dark..."

"Unfortuneatly no. We tried to rescue the poor girl, but those maniacs killed her before her soul could be fetched. It dissipated quickly and scattered on the cosmic winds." Llane turned to Qui-Gon. "I am sorry, my son. I know the love you felt for her."

The gold wolf rubbed his massive head along her sleek one. "Be at ease, mother. Tallandra and I had our time together and I'm grateful. Look at our beautiful son."

Obi-Wan sat quietly, tail sweeping the floor in content. He felt warm to his eartips.

Llane nosed Obi-Wan before settling alongside Qui-Gon. She groomed the burnished gold coat. "You must stay. This realm is yours to rule."

Qui-Gon was afraid of this. "Mother, it's good that we are reunited, but I cannot stay here. My sanity would suffer."

Obi-Wan padded about the chamber slowly. "Strange. I haven't hungered for blood or felt weakness since we've been in hel."

"Soul essence sustains you as well as blood" Llane told him. "And they are quite delicious. Later you must try one."

"I meant what I said, mother. I know your plans, but-"

"But nothing, Qui-Gon. I knew we would have this disagreement. Your Jedi heritage is at odds with my blood. We will see what wins out."

"I am both, and so is my son."

Obi-Wan remembered a question he had. "Wait. Grandmother, you never said why you chose a Guardian as a mate."

Llane cocked her ears. "Didn't I? I wanted offspring whose strength was not totally derived from hel. A child from such a union would have no constraints, no weakness on any plane, mortal or otherwise. And the Guardians were demoralized, which pleased me greatly. They still will not speak the name of Eblu'Aranhe among their exhalted ranks."

Obi-Wan stared at his father in shock and rememberance at the similarity to their own situation.

Qui-Gon gleaned the irony. "Destiny...turns in on itself."

Llane sat between them. "In what way?"

"We are striken from all Jedi record as well" Obi-Wan told her.

Llane nodded. "Ah. The great shunning. We in hel knew of this event, just as we knew of your battles with the Jedi Masters and Sith Lords."

"It also explains why our power never waned anywhere" Obi-Wan said to his father.

"Indeed " Qui-Gon considered. "Unrestricted movement about the realities, the power at our fingertips... "

"Desist, Qui-Gon. Your place is here" Llane snapped.

"I am not just your son. You knew this would be a problem at my birth."

"Aye, but I thought it was a risk worth taking. For your darkness has elements of light that no hel denizen can claim. An unfortuneate side effect of your father's heritage, I fear."

"That remains to be seen. It is the same heritage that gives me the ability to be at full strength on the mortal plane. That is something not even you are capable of."

Llane paced, irritated. "True, I must work indirectly through others outside of hel. My ability to penetrate the mortal sphere is limited, but it is also true of the Guardians."

Obi-Wan was fascinated by the exchange. It was informative. "I take it then, grandmother, that you don't visit the mortal plane often."

"When I can, Obi-Wan. When cycles or circumstance allow it. But my power is much reduced."

Qui-Gon looked about the chamber. "When is the next Council session. We need to arrive at a reasonable compromise."

"I am Queen of hel. I'm neither reasonable nor willing to compromise."

Obi-Wan lifted his tail a bit. Trouble.

"And I am King of hel" Qui-Gon snapped back. "I need not be reasonable either. We will have a Council Session."

Llanes' ears were flat. "Have a care how you speak to me."

Qui-Gon flattened his ears also. "Have a care yourself."

Obi-Wan watched the face off, fascinated. Long silence.

Llane turned abruptly to leave, tail swishing in dismissal. "Begone, both of you. I have buisness of the realm to conduct. We'll see what the Council says on this matter."

She blended into the shadows and was gone. Obi-Wan sat next to his father.

"I think you ticked her off."

Two cloaked and cowled figures were on tour.

Qui-Gon spent the next few days showing Obi-Wan the realm. They went from circle to circle, as Qui-Gon answered questions from his son about the torments.

The first circle was relatively quiet, Obi-Wan thought. Souls sat about under the gloomy mists, rarely speaking to one another.

"They don't seem too happy."

"They aren't and never will be. These committed to nothing in life. When they saw evil they did nothing to prevent it. When they saw good they did nothing to encourage it. There are quite a few atheists in this band, too. So here they reside."

Obi-Wan looked them over. They were a miserable lot. Scattered about the bland landscape their backs were turned to each other. Some muttered, others cursed and swore at fate. Still more tore at their breasts and beat their heads against rocks in anguish.

"I would imagine the atheists feel pretty stupid about now."

Qui-Gon laughed. "Yes. A power they disbelieved in holds them now forever. Their fatuous knowledge died a swift and painful death."

Obi-Wan looked hard into the dusky air. "I don't see or sense any demons about" green eyes flashed.

"They aren't needed here. You'll see plenty in deeper hel."

They moved along the rock bridge that joined all of hel, a passage that yawned to infinity. Small creatures skittered about, seeking dark crevices to slink into.

Although the bridge didn't move, Obi-Wan had the sense of going 'down.'

Further along they came upon lush growth. Here, trees and foilage grew everywhere, choking all passage. But Obi-Wan had never seen the like. The wild groves were several hundred feet high. The entire plane appeared to be a jungle of thorny growth and overgrown vines. Gigantic flower blossoms with deadly and venomous fangs sprouted along jagged pathways. Branches reached out, grasping the air for anything moving their way. Even the stones had spikes.

The two Darklords stood alone in the dank wood. "Where are the souls in this circle?" Obi-Wan looked about.

"There, I think" Qui-Gons' voice was low. "These are always moving."

There was an immediate commotion. Not fifty yards away they heard loud sounds of sex. Groans, moans, and screams filled the air.

The two moved closer, edging between massive knarled trees. In a dense patch of the forest, several thousand souls were having sex in every imaginable fashion.

Obi-Wan observed them blandly. "Guess they like to party."

"No. Look at their faces. They aren't enjoying it."

It was true. In fact, the faces were contorted by pain and frustration. The damned copulated madly but could get no satisfaction.

"They seek release and get none" Qui-Gon explained. "Their appetites took precedence above all else. Now those appetites rule, and give them pain instead of pleasure."

They moved away, heading further through the thorny wood. More screams nearby.

Changing to mist, the Lords moved towards them. Several souls lay about, faces swollen and discolored. Others vomited endlessly. Still more souls were plucking purple fruits from the trees, greedily eating as many as they could hold.

"These are the sensualists, then?" Obi-Wan asked his father.

Qui-Gon nodded. "Their lives were deveoted to the so called simple pleasures. But those pleasures were never enough. The more they had, the more they wanted. See how they get sicker as they feast, yet glut even more!"

"Madness. They feed on what makes them ill!"

"They can do nothing else. The promise of delight perpetuates their greed, and their souls grow more poisoned."

"Let's leave these wretches, father. I would see more."

"As you wish, my Obi. To the bridge, then."

Deeper in hel they went. Obi-Wan noticed bands of airborne demons for the first time.

They came upon a vast plain of burning hailstorms and acid sleet. The ground was cracked and hard, breaking open in chasms everywhere. Souls here were numerous as grains of sand, covering the land to the horizon. Endless forms raced and scurried in all directions, colliding with and bouncing off each other. Some were scorched and burned. Others lay with limbs broken from falling into fissures. The air was orange and dusty from dry, abrasive winds.

Obi-Wan stared, awed at the sight of so many souls in such frenzy.

"This realm is as vast as it is eternal" he observed from their ledge.

"True" Qui-Gon answered. "You've noticed the high level of activity. These had no time for anything save their selfish desires. Their entire lives were spent in pursuit of their own goals. So here they race nowhere and to nothing, yet cannot escape each other."

"Ah. And the fire and hail assure that they keep moving?" Obi-Wan surmised.

Qui-Gon smiled at him."Indeed. Come, let's see the others in this region."

Obi-Wan stared again at the running swarm. Demons were swooping down on them to intimidate, inducing even more mania.

The Lords walked the great bridge again. Qui-Gon observed his sons' face. Obi-Wan appeared increasingly assured and confident in hel.

The fine face looked at his father. "What. Why are you staring?"

Artic eyes glimmered with an unholy gleam. "You wear your heritage well, my son."

"Father-"

"SSsssss. It is so. Your appearance and demeanor are that of a Prince."

Obi-Wan felt a bizarre surge of pride. He touched his fathers' face, tracing the goatee.

"I come from good...or should I say 'bad' stock" he grinned softly

Qui-Gon leaned forward and kissed him. Hard. //You are impossible.//

"Oh?" Obi-Wan pulled back, tongue out over ruddy lips. "Here's impossible... I go from being a Jedi padawan, to my fathers' lover, to a vampyre, to a Darklord who is kissing his father in hel. I'd say that's well down on the list of probabilities."

Qui-Gon laughed wildly, mane tumbling out of his cowl. Obi-Wan tucked it back inside. He was pressed not to laugh himself.

"Come, father, enough. More pariahs await our pleasure."

Adjusting his cowl, he walked ahead of his father as they went further down.

The first thing Obi-Wan could distinctly discern was the sound of flesh striking flesh. They came upon a reeking landscape covered with boiling lava pits that spewed and smoked. The air was deep and soupy, illuminated by fire flashes.

Souls here were boiled, skin flayed from their forms. They raced about in anger, fighting and arguing amongst themselves.

"The violent" Qui-Gon said simply. "This circle has subdivisions. Greed resides here also, as do the covetous."

"Bad scene over there" Obi-Wan observed.

Two souls were snatching at a chunk of gold.

"It's mine!"

"No, mine! If I can take this and bargain with the demons-"

Obi-Wan laughed. "Are they stupid or what? They think to barter with gold they got in hel?"

"Apparently they were stupid in life, as well" Qui-Gon grinned. "Look, see how they gain nothing?"

A woman came from nowhere, kicking them in the legs. They dropped the gold and went after her. She raced up a hill.

"Oops" Obi-Wan commented.

The two men grabbed her and tossed her over the ledge. She fell screaming into a boiling lava pit.

"I'll bet that hurt" Obi-Wan shook his head. "Rough neighborhood."

There was another commotion not too far off. An old soul cringed along the boiling banks, attempting to protect his head. Others stood in a circle, pelting him with large stones.

Obi-Wan pulled his cowl back a little. "What's their problem with him?"

His father looked keenly. "Let's go closer and see."

"Stupid old fool!"

"He made the demons mad. Now they'll never leave us alone!"

Rocks contined to rain on the frail soul. He cursed them all.

"I'll fix you!" he bolted up and ran like the wind.

"What can he do?" Obi-Wan wondered. "He's one against many, and old besides."

"I have no idea" Qui-Gon frowned, then looked up. "Hold, Obi-Wan. His plan becomes clear."

The screaming mob chased the old soul up a jagged ledge. He leaned on a massive boulder, pushing against it.

The angry souls were enraged, trying to reach him. The boulder toppled over them, crushing them flat into the cracked earth. The old soul danced with glee at their demise.

"Ugh" Obi-Wan stuck his tongue out.

"Interesting" Qui-Gon noted. "It will take them days to recover."

"How could anyone that old and broken down move a huge boulder?"

"The soul has its' own strength of will. There are no physical restrictions here."

Two sets of eyes glowed in the gloom under deep cowls. Cloaked and foreboding, the Lords moved with disdain through the plain of lava pits. Souls fled at their approach.

The sky was darker still. Demons flew everywhere, picking up souls high in the air then dashing them against jagged rock. Escapees were gored with pitchforks, their gaping wounds streaming. Others ran wildly about, stabbing their brethren with sharp objects. Still more stood laughing over the wounded souls.

"The vicious and mean spirited are this bunch" Qui-Gon stated. "They are willfully wicked, and so must suffer such. Compassion never touched their hearts."

"Looks like those demons are having a go of it" Obi-Wan pointed. "I would hear more."

Qui-Gon nodded. "It is your right."

They approached the throng of demons. They poked and struck a recalcitrant soul repeatedly.

"Fug off! Leave me alone!!" the soul yelled. "You freaks...can't you give somebody a break?!"

"Whatsamatter, Kilroy? Can't take it? You sure liked beating on women enough..."

"So what. They deserved it!"

Another jab with a pitchfork. Kilroy yelled. A green demon with tusks laughed.

"Tender, huh? Maybe we'll feed ya to the bloodworms."

The Lords approached. The demons were taken aback, staring and moving off.

Qui-Gon stepped forward. "Who Captains this band?"

A gray, horse faced demon answered. "I do, Lord Qui-Gon."

"And you are?"

"Ekwas. We just thought to poke this sinner a bit more."

"What were his crimes?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.

"Wife beater. Bigamist. And a pedophile."

Obi-Wan gave a fanged smile. "We've been very bad."

Kilroy trembled, wounds open everywhere. "Lords, spare me. I can't stay here anymore, I'm sorry for what I did..."

"Liar" Qui-Gon snarled. "But a moment ago you said your victims deserved what they got. Enough." He turned away.

"No wait!!" Kilroy strained against the demons.

"Carry on, Ekwas" Qui-Gon told the Captain, not turning around.

Both he and Obi-Wan retreated, the sound of screams at their backs.

They walked the great bridge again. Obi-Wan looked at the boiling pits in the distance now. Ahead the horizon held jagged mountains of blue and purple granite. Poisonous green clouds and fetid brown smoke filled the grim skies.

As Obi-Wan observed the endless valley he noticed there was little movement but much noise.

"The valley of the deceitful and vengeful" Qui-Gon pointed all around. "Criminals, double dealers and the perverse cover these banks."

Obi-Wan noticed their condition. "They are gross beyond belief, and squat like toads."

"Look closely and see why."

These souls were bloated and fat, their soft and wet skin splitting open. They swatted at the air, spitting and cursing.

Obi-Wan moved along a rocky crag. "They don't move much."

"No. They can't. Their bodies are most nearly rotted from within and useless."

There was a loud buzzing sound. Countless insects were everywhere, stinging and biting them. Obi-Wan stared intently.

"Their skin moves!" he curled a lip in disdain.

Qui-Gon snorted derisively. "Indeed. Their lives were spent on vengeance. See how they themselves are plagued now! Appropriate, wouldn't you say?"

Large worms burst in and out of their bodies, or slithered free on the ground., looking for a different host. Others were covered with large pustules from insect stings.

One fat soul full of worms tipped over and fell. He burst open like a sack of water. His surrounding brethren cursed.

"Boldo sat too close to the ledge again!"

"The fool. It'll be hours before his bloated butt gets it together!"

"Dammit. He splattered on me!!"

"Unbelievable" Obi-Wan looked at his father.

Qui-Gon moved to his side. "Only in hel."

Another miserable band inhabited the adjoining valley. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon surveyed it from atop the helbridge, a thousand feet up.

Giant arches of red and deep blue rock disappeared into the distance. Stone pillars jutting a mile high had vacant eyed souls standing atop them. Bizarre noises filled the realm. Red fog obscured distance and size.

"What's the story here, father?"

"Let's go down and see."

They flew downward, landing on a nearby mesa. The mountain tops disappeared into thick crimson haze. Rows of stone pillars lined to infinity with countless souls bleating and grunting, blank stares on their faces.

"What the Sith is their problem?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.

"Go ask one."

Obi-Wan alighted on a pillar. Nearly a hundred souls stared into nothingness, not even acknowledging his presence.

Emerald eyes blazed. "What were your sins in life?" he demanded.

A woman looked at him dully. "Dubhh...cih...uhyoq"

"What?"

An old man. "Gaauhk. Umk. Wweirkdu, guk guk."

"Fools!!"

All the souls chimed in, now. They saw nothing with their eyes. "Furm, nffph, ubmb, poufv. Neeki Qiqq, du zmen a u..."

Obi-Wan noticed their eyes were white.

Qui-Gon landed next to him. One of the souls backed up, pointed.

"Bbbu, weerk. ROOO!!!!"

"Pathetic" Obi-Wan hissed.

"Very" Qui-Gon looked at the retreating souls. In mindless panic some raced off the ledge of the mesa, falling into the gloom.

"Idiots!!" Obi-Wan shouted at them.

Qui-Gon stared down the ledge they leaped off.

"The bestial spent their time pursuing the coarsest pleasures of the flesh. They are an abomination to the heavens. Many of these chose animals over their own kind. Blinded by lust in life, so are they in death. And their minds are now as dull and crude as their souls ever were. They are incapable of forming a coherent thought, much less speech."

"Dimwit city" Obi-Wan commented shortly. "I suspected as much when I saw their eyes, but they seemed to be aware of me."

Their conversation stopped, drowned out by countless stupid souls bellowing senseless noise.

"Let's press on, father. I've had my fill of these morons."

Qui-Gon looked off into the mists. "Agreed."

They were in deepest hel now. The skies were almost midnight black, illuminated by lava like rivers and bright molten rain. Crags of lighting blazed in extreme contrast, casting eerie and wild shadows everywhere. Thunder boomed continuously, cracking the atmosphere. Earthquakes split ground everywhere, leaving jagged plain. Thick, bubbling lakes dotted the landscape.

Two cowled figures stood against the eternal night, lit from within.

Obi-Wan noticed they were at the center of the helbridge. Here it stretched indefintely to both horizons.

"We must be all the way down" he concluded, yelling against the thunder.

"We are" Qui-Gon shouted back. "The bridge goes across the horizon here. From this point it winds back to Upper Hel."

Obi-Wan made a gesture, forming a mystic sphere of silence.

"That's better. Now we can talk sanely."

Qui-Gon smiled at him, blue eyes sparking. "It's difficult in the tenth circle. As you may have noticed, every type of upheaval occurs here simultaneously. This is the circle of greatest extremes."

"Who resides here?"

"Traitors, liars, and those who would be worshiped as gods. Come, let's finish the tour so we can return to the Castle."

Obi-Wan looked towards the east horizon. "It's a long journey back."

Wide smile. "Hardly. The Queen resides in deepest hel."

"What? But I thought she was in one of the upper circles."

"An illusion to intimidate newly entered souls."

"Very effective .A structure like that would surely demoralize anyone."

"Only we and the Council have access through that dimensional loop. Those in the upper circles could travel forever towards her castle without actually reaching it."

"Hmm" Obi-Wan was thoughtful. The ground rumbled and shook. He looked at his feet.

"Perhaps we should find more solid ground, father."

"There isn't any. But it's best to keep moving. Come."

They walked west on the bridge. Obi-Wan spied movement. The souls below looked like ants in the distance.

"We're too high up. Let's fly down."

"Agreed."

The two figures descended near a roiling lake. The stench was unbelievable.

"Gahkk" Obi-Wan covered his nose. "What died here!"

Qui-Gon likewise krinkled his nose. "Block your mystic sense of scent. None can bear this odor, not e'en immortal."

"Why the reek?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.

"The filthy liars are here. Their falsehoods resulted in death and ruin to others. So here they lie in their own dirt. See how the wretches attempt to climb out of their own soup!"

Slimy heads popped up by the thousands, only to sink back down. Their features were completely obscured by waste.

Obi-Wan walked along the shoreline. "Hear your Lord. Can any of you speak, to alleviate your crime?"

A great burbling beneath the surface exploded into numberless heads bobbing up. They all spoke at once, a rumble heard for miles around.

But their pleas were drowned out in claps of thunder. Obi-Wan stood impassively as they dived underneath again, fearful of the lightning.

"Cowards" he admonished them. "Well are you suited to stink. Farewell."

He strode with casual arrogance past his father. "Let's see the others now."

Qui-Gon beamed with quiet pride. "Certainly, Lord Prince."

Under the night skies they continued along craggy and roughhewn pathways. An endless throng of souls walked ponderously in lines forming a maze to eternity.

Obi-Wan looked at them sharply. "Father, what holds their gait? They labor just to walk."

"These are the masters of the so called 'innocent' lies that have no weight. But many lies have much weight indeed, and they will bear them forever."

They approached one line. The souls were drooped and weary, with large hooks pierced through their tongues. The hooks were attached to chain and heavy ball that dragged the ground. All of them staggered along, stumbling over their burden.

The souls took no note of their lords. Their burden precluded response.

"This way, my Obi. We are nearly done."

Qui-Gon led his son past the burning lava rivers, where souls suffered for poisonous lies. Through cavernous chasms they walked, the sheer cliffs imbedded with souls of thieves.

"Their faces are all in terror" Obi-Wan noticed the frightful expressions in rock relief.

"Wait a bit and see why."

No sooner had his father spoke than a deafening peal of thunder shook the land. Lightning blazed from the skies, striking the mountainous cliff faces.

With each strike, the expressions embedded in stone changed.

"Amazing" Obi-Wan admitted, his face in wild light and shadow.

"They imprisoned their victims in fear. Now they are imprisoned by their own. So be it."

Obi-Wan could notice shifting forms in the dark. Gigantic forms.

"What moves in this night? See, above the lower peaks."

"Those are the beasts of myth and legend. Giants, griffins, centaurs, and the like. They guard the so called 'gods.'"

"Fascinating."

"Down in this final chasm we go. Come, along the walk of bones."

Obi-Wan lifted his eyebrows. "Walk of bones?"

Qui-Gon moved forward. "A bridge that spans this darkest pit. It is comprised entirely of skeletons."

Whoops, wails and roars filled the night. The beasts were in perpetual uproar.

"I can't tell what makes the most noise, the thunder or those creatures" Obi-Wan made a face.

"As we go along the walk of bones some will pass underneath."

The two Lords came to the edge of a black cliff that yawned into forever. Obi-Wan could see skulls littered everywhere.

Green eyes glowed. "We're near the walk?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "We're at it. Look down a bit."

About fifty yards below was a bridge composed entirely of skeletons. Fused into impossible positions, they formed a passing that was miles wide and leagues long.

"Their eyes glow, I see."

"The souls here are bound to their bones. They will speak as we cross."

"These are the traitors?" Obi-Wan asked.

Qui-Gon edged down the ledge to the bridge. "Yes. Those who picked over the holdings of others in war, misfortune or calamity. Some were graverobbers, seeking to gain wealth from the dead. Thus are their bare bones here below."

Obi-Wan followed. "Father, the size of this crossing nearly rivals the helbridge."

"It's impressive indeed" Qui-Gon agreed. "And it grows daily with new souls. This is one of the many armies of hel."

"Skeletal warriors?"

"Yes. Most of the hel armies reside here in the blackest depths. Demons live here proper."

They walked across the bones. Several shrill voices raised in entreaty.

"Save us!"

"Lords, walk softly!"

"We'll be good. Set us free!"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Be silent, you bone bags. I'll not hear it. Ask those whom you stripped bare in life!"

"I'll serve thee faithfully."

"It's a setup. I was framed!"

Obi-Wan stared down at them as they walked. "They certainly are persistent, father."

"I don't care. By rights I should set them ablaze like kindling."

Eventually they approached the center of the bleakest chasm. The heads of the great beasts rose above the deep purple air.

"They come this way" Qui-Gon pointed.

Obi-Wan watched, fascinated and awed at their size. A lion headed beast with leathery wings plodded slowly beneath them, scaly tail a league long dragging behind. Right behind came another, a huge Cyclops with shaggy hair and braided beard. Still another, a gigantic lizard with endless razor rows of teeth brought up the rear. Green and brown scales covered the long body.

Ponderous and gliding they moved. Obi-Wan wondered at their silence in the gloom. "Are these sentient?"

"Aye, but their minds are simplistic. They make perfect soldiers and ask no questions. It's fortuneate too, for those bodies house a great deal of power."

"I would imagine" Obi-Wan was impressed. "I would speak to one."

Qui-Gon stared down. "Go to, Prince. They will hear."

Standing at the edge of the bone bridge, Obi-Wan shouted down.

"Ho, leviathans of the deep. I greet thee. How fares the realm?"

Their mighty heads raised. The cyclops answered first, his giant orange eye fixed on Obi-Wan. "The prophecy is fulfilled. Do I speak to the Prince?" the cavernous voice boomed.

Obi-Wan stood tall. "You do. Now wherefore the realm?"

"It stands eternal, as always. And we the grim guardians are ever vigilant. Hail to thee, Prince!"

The lizard looked up next, flourescent eyes blazing. The razorlike teeth shone like silver as he spoke.

"It is most fortuitous then, that the King returns with the Prince. Surely now none will dare assault the realm. All hail!"

"Well said, Ssaurik" Qui-Gon thundered. "Let none stand before your might ere you are needed."

The lion headed beast answered last. "In the service of our King we shall crush all opposition. For lo in the past, did we not crack the gates of heaven themselves?"

"Well done it was, Orengu. Go now, about your affairs."

In silent obedience they lowered their great heads and lumbered on in the dank darkness. Soon they were out of sight entirely.

"They broke heavens' gates?!" Obi-Wan was amazed.

"Back in the beginning, yes" Qui-Gon answered as they moved along again. "Unfortuneately their memory is selective. The guardians repelled them and hurled them into the hel deep. They've remained here ever since."

They finally made it to the end of the bone bridge. An infinite plain stretched before them, black and bleak.

"Is there anything here?"

"Plenty" Qui-Gon pointed. "See?"

Broken glass shards were everywhere. Countless hissing vipers covered the rock ledges and pathways. But there were none on the plain itself.

"I don't get it" Obi-Wan said. "What prevents them from crawling across the land?"

"They prevent escape only. Theirs is not to intrude. Look across the plain coming this way and you will see."

And Obi-Wan did. Coming at them was a winding mass of souls wearing tattered rags. As they walked closer a tremendous earthquake broke open the earth. Thousands fell into the crevasse, screaming.

"What the fug happened?" Obi-Wan wanted to know as they gained their feet.

"More traitors, the lowest class" Qui-Gon stood up. "When some approach close enough, observe their faces."

No sooner had he spoken when a stray soul staggered their way. Obi-Wan was speechless. She had two faces. One joyful, one sad. Her form was ablaze in red flame.

"The janus principle" Qui-Gon explained. "These would be all things to everybody in treachery. Ones like this betrayed their country and their kin. Here they wear the faces of their deceits. Extreme joy and pain burn their souls, driving them insane with agony."

As if in answer to his words the soul spoke to them, moving closer. Her joyful face smiled.

"Oh, good day lords. I feel wonderful. Hel is beatiful this time of night-"

"Aaugh!!" the sad face screamed, tears trailing. "I can't take it, lords. My family needs me, please, I burn!!" the face shrieked like a banshee as the flames flew higher about her body.

"Burn then, you ass" Qui-Gon snarled. "Well do I know you killed your family for gold. Be happy and suffer. Now get out of our sight."

In terror the soul ran towards the bone bridge. A hissing serpent slithered from the banks in full pursuit. Catching the soul the snake devoured it.

"What happens now?" Obi-Wan wondered.

"She will be brought back" Qui-Gon answered.

Heavy with the soul, the serpent belched it out upon returning to the black plain. It then crawled back to the ledges of rock to rejoin the others.

"Incredible" Obi-Wan shook his head.

"The last of the sinners reside in the center of this great plain."

"But how long will it take to get there? This black land goes on forever in all directions."

"Focus on the bottom of the universe and you will be there."

Obi-Wan did so as they walked. Soon they came upon a great mountain of such height the peak faded into the night. Surrounding the mountain were slimy, greenish rivers that branched out across the endless plain. Broken black glass was everywhere, glimmering against the night.

"The elementals reside here. They also are armies of hel."

"I think I see some now" Obi-Wan noted, pointing at the base of the mountain.

Dancing in eternal array were fire demons, singing vile songs. Their bright orange skin smouldered with heat as their hair sizzled in flame. Sitting along the rivers of sludge were endless rows of stone demons, dank and oily. Their dark, pebbly hides were wet with moisture. They clapped their thick hands together, creating a concussive sound that echoed across the great plain.

"Looks like a party" Obi-Wan observed. "But what are they celebrating?"

Qui-Gon stood tall. "These are the last of the sinners. They are bound within the mountain of misery. Their pain is a monument to those who would be gods. They are worshiped by demons, the ultimate mockery. So entrapped their are, in a monolith of their own arrogance and self-delusion."

"Those who practiced sorcery and the black arts are here" Obi-Wan concluded, his mind racing with excitement.

Qui-Gon smiled darkly. "I thought to surprise you. We have some recent arrivals at the base of the mountain whom you may recognize."

Obi-Wan grabbed his father in an exuberant kiss. Qui-Gon pulled out reluctantly, tongue hanging over fangs. "Hee. Easy, easy. Else I may ravage you on the floor of hel."

Obi-Wan coiled his tongue wantonly. "In a bit, surely. Let's go to the party!"

They approached the mountain that thrust into infinity. The entire landscape was black, illuminated from below. Thorny vines covered large areas of ground, infested with large crabs and toads. Jagged and bare trees were lit from within. Stones were flourescent and bright. The mountain itself was black glass, but souls were clearly visible in all directions. Endless forms were frozen within, in anger or fear. The demons turned at their approach, falling to their knees.

"Greetings, Lords" a fire demon said. "What brings royalty to the greatest depths?"

"Merely a tour" Qui-Gon answered. "We thought to check the overall state of the realm."

A stone demon edged up. "And do you find it satisfactory, o King?"

Qui-Gon observed some familiar faces trapped within the glass walls. He smiled serenely. "Quite. And I do see some friends I would wish to talk to."

"We've had quite a few new arrivals, Lord Qui-Gon. See how they squirm in the glass! Funny, eh?"

"It's about to get funnier. Stand back, all of you" Qui-Gon blasted the base of the mountain. Large shears of glass went flying, freeing a group of tumbling souls.

The Dakkari Elder.

They didn't look so impressive now. Nude and badly scarred, the group cringed on the ground.

Obi-Wan gave them a fanged smile. "Hi guys. Long time no see."

"Wha..." Voctor winced, looked around. "Thank the dark you've come for us, mighty ones. These devils torment us no end."

"That's their job" Qui-Gon stated.

Huru attempted to cover her burned eye. "Mind not our appearance, if you please. We would gladly serve again..."

Coog looked at them pleadingly. His muscled bulk had withered considerably. "If you would still have us. We would not be so presumptuous."

"You are already ours" Obi-Wan snapped. "And as for serving...you did that quite well, serving your own interests. Else you wouldn't be here. How fare the new gods?!" he laughed at them.

Xaxx shook his hoary head. "Sooner would I be frozen forever than endure this mockery!"

"You shall have both" Qui-Gon blasted him back into the glass. The demons joined in on the laughter. Some of them defecated on the glass in front of Xaxx.

"And you, woman" Qui-Gon looked coldly at Huru. "Your vanity means nothing here. You are ugly beyond belief. Know it to be true."

She collapsed on the ground, overcome with misery.

"No words Yani? It was you who sought us out and started it all" Obi-Wan looked at the Dakkari elder.

"Obi-Wan, be fair" the once handsome face pleaded. "I can be of use to you. Do but allow me back to mortal life, and-"

Obi-Wan held out a hand. "Hold. Didn't you want to be immortal and have a throne?"

Yani gave a cracked smile. "Well, perhaps. My goals must be modest until I am able to walk among the living again."

"I see" Obi-Wan pretended to consider. The demons edged closer, eyes gleaming infernally in the darkness.

Zeth finally spoke. His big belly was bloated even further. "If you could give me a kingdom as well mighty one, I would gladly bend knee and do all that you wish" the beady eyes were expectant.

Obi-Wan burst into laughter. "Of course. You deserve the best."

Yani edged to his feet. "Then make us gods!"

Obi-Wan made a gesture. "I hereby call thee..."

The Dakkari stared in confusion.

"Masters of the mountain of misery!!"

With a loud crack! the mountain resealed itself, the Dakkari locked inside once again.

But there was a change. They all wore golden crowns.

Qui-Gon laughed. "Lord it over the fools, Dakkari!! Fare you well in your new kingdom!"

Inhuman shrieks of glee rocked the landscape, lords and demons alike.

They took to the helbridge again. The Queens' castle was in the distance. Obi-Wan pawed at his lover.

"Hssss. Hungry?" Qui-Gon asked.

Hot tongue curled. "Very. Let's bounce."

"Fool. I'll not topple into the abyss while we do so. At the castle I'll gladly bounce you 'till the roof comes off."

Plump lips taunted him over high cheekbones.

"Pity. I hope I can hold on until then."

They crossed the timeless span quickly. The castle loomed large.

"Methinks I will bathe. I'm all grimy" Qui-Gon pulled at his robes.

"I prefer that you wear nothing at all" Obi-Wan panted.

"Ssssssss. I will bite you and eat you up" Qui-Gon nuzzled his neck. "But enough of this. Inside."

There were no demons at the entrance this time, but centaurs. They stood at attention as their Masters approached.

"What happened to the other sentries?" Obi-Wan asked them.

The brute on the left answered, snuffling. His nose ran profusely. "One of the giant bloodworms ate them, o Prince. Others are attempting to free them in the fifth circle."

The second centaur continued. "They haven't had enough time to fish them out yet. Give it another week or two."

Obi-Wan looked at his father, incredulous. "Never a dull moment."

Qui-Gon grinned again. "That's hel for you."

Inside the castle the courtiers were bustling about, doing nothing and going nowhere while looking important.

"Do they add members to their clique?" Obi-Wan wondered.

Qui-Gon looked about. "Sometimes. They have very strict requirements."

"What qualifies you to do nothing?"

"Idleness and flattery are considered a fine craft among demons, not one many can master."

"So, you've finally returned home."

They turned. Obi-Wan stared at a vision of beauty. Straight, jet black hair framed high cheekbones, going in a straight fall to her waist. A purple body thong barely concealed full breasts and curvaceous hips. The eyes were what captured Obi-Wan the most: bluer than the brightest sky, crystal clear and penetrating. Dramatic eyebrows arched high under straight bangs.

"Grandmother?" he stammered.

Llane struck a pose. "Does my womanly shape please you, my Obi?"

"To put it mildly. You're beautiful!"

"Indeed" Qui-Gon agreed, observing with more than casual interest.

Llane hooked an arm around each. "Come. You are both famished. We will eat soul."

Obi-Wan was suddenly ravenous.

"Ssssss. My hunger rages, grandmother. I can barely contain it."

Llane smiled, flashing fangs. "Hold a bit if you can. Demon blood would not be at all to your liking, for it is bitter and not very nourishing."

Qui-Gon likewise looked wild. "Have you tender ones, mother? For I too have a fearsome appetite."

"Ha! You always would eat everything in sight. When you were a cub I would pull stones from your throat."

Obi-Wan cracked up at the mental image. "Now that's desperate!"

Qui-Gon pulled his cowl over his face. "Laugh at that, then. If you can see!"

Llane laughed herself, eyes shining like sapphires. "No wonder I longed for the day my family would be together."

They entered a huge dining room, ornately decorated in draconian manner. Brass gargoyles ringed the room. Green velvet curtains sashed with braided rope framed the walls with an exotic border. The polished marble floors were flecked with gold. Plush velvet furniture with pewter frames were arranged in the corners. A water fountain was the center of attention over a massive iron table. It depicted a scene of dragons at play. Solid gold goblets were arranged about the table, along with a crystal canister of deepest purple. A large window was chiseled with precision, giving a panoramic view of the eternal night outside. Candles burned everywhere both large and small.

"Sit down, both of you" Llane commanded, bouncing her ample figure about. "Where is that dolt Popalock. I told him to have the souls ready" she pulled a hanging cord.

A plump demon raced in, horns quivering in agitation. He pulled on an orange mustache.

"Sorry, mistress. The souls were a bit...troublesome."

She tapped her fingers in irritation. "Well, did you boil them in sweetmeats?"

Popalock nodded. "Yes, they're finally tender. Ah, here they come now."

Two bird faced demons dragged the souls in. They had rail thin bodies and hooks for hands and feet.

"Skkkeeeech. Greetings, royalty to the realm. Thy dinner is prepared."

"They look ripe" Qui-Gon noted, teeth lengthening.

"But what do they taste like?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.

"Eat and see" Llane motioned for the demons to leave.

"Will there be anything else mistress?"

Llane waved him in dismissal. "I'll let you know. Begone."

The plump devil scuttled out. The souls squirmed in their bonds.

"Don't eat us!" yelled one.

"The demons's a liar. We taste bad!" yelled another.

"That's right" the third chimed in. "We're raw. Hardly even cooked right!"

"Enough" Llane snarled. "I hate it when dinner talks too much" and like a cat she pounced on a soul, sinking her fangs into the throat.

Obi-Wan watched in fascination. Qui-Gon grabbed another, sucking the soul over the table.

Obi-Wan smacked his lips. Guess I don't need a plate.

He snatched the remaining soul, drinking deeply. It was...delicious. And not unlike blood. Delectable.

When he finished, he looked up. Llane and Qui-Gon were watching him with muted smiles.

"What?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.

"Wipe your mouth" Llane grinned, showing perfect points. "Eating soul requires a little...finesse, my Obi."

He looked at his reflection in a goblet. His face was a purple plastered mess.

"Oh" he felt like a small child.

Llane licked off his lips. "Of course, it was your first soul..."

He snarled softly at her. "Practice makes perfect."

Qui-Gon yawned, sat back down at the table. "I could do with some wine."

Obi-Wan stared at his hands. The soul he drank had shriveled to a husk, bloodless and boneless.

In amazement he stared. "Wha...??"

"His substance now sustains you" Llane explained. "The shell is inert and will soon dissipate."

It was happening even as she spoke. The withered thing in his hands literally melted into the air.

He wiggled his fingers. "No dirty dishes."

Llane licked his ear. "Crazy snekt. By the power, I do love thee."

Obi-Wan felt warm. He cuddled her neck, remembering her perfume in wolf form.

"Thee are fine" Llane purred. "And I would-"

A big hand pulled her head back by the hair.

"Methinks we should have some wine" Qui-Gon smiled sharply.

Llane yanked free. "So be it. And we will talk later."

"On many things" Qui-Gon returned.

Obi-Wan made a casual observation. "You have her eyes, father."

It was true. Save for their coloring and sex, the facial bone structure and eyes were the same.

Qui-Gon looked softly at his son. "So I've been told."

Obi-Wan stroked Llanes' sleek black mane. "And the hair. Although yours is even more ridiculous. I'd almost forgotten to cut it again."

"Don't you dare touch it, Obi-Wan" Llane reproved him. "He's had it braided since you've been here. I would see it loose."

Obi-Wan reached for a goblet. "It's a virtual mattress, grandmother."

Qui-Gon clicked his teeth. "Are you two through?"

"Oh?" Llane eyed her son speculatively. "It's good to bed in?"

Qui-Gon cracked his fangs at her.

Obi-Wans' eyes glinted with mischief. "Definitely. You can play with it from any position-"

"Obi-Wan..."

"And when you're done you can make a blanket out of it."

"Gwrrrr!!"

"Oh, stop crabbing" Llane laughed again. "Drink some wine."

They drank a lot of wine. Qui-Gon was mellow.

"I must say mother, that Ver'lith wine was exceptional."

Llane rested her head in her hands over the table. "It was cured perfectly, by dragons' breath. I have more in my private stock."

Obi-Wan sipped from his goblet. Family's family, no matter how bizarre.

Two sets of arctic eyes bored through him. Obi-Wan yawned.

"I would roam the castle a bit before retiring."

Llane smiled slowly. "Don't let the courtiers bore you."

He stood and glided out. "I won't. You two behave while I'm gone."

Qui-Gon retreated to his private chambers. Nearly unchanged after all this time.

He bathed, enjoying the feel of steaming water sweeping away the grime of his travels through hel. Long legs lifted over the edge of a marble jacuzzi. His head lay back against the water, mane trailing sinuously through it. His eyes closed in bliss.

Silent feet moved into the chamber. A figure moved slowly and sensually towards the prone Qui-Gon.

His senses were far too acute to be surprised in such a manner.

"Ah. You would visit me here, Llane."

She stopped. "True. Look at me, my son."

Qui-Gon didn't turn. "I already have. You are lovely."

"You haven't touched me. I saw the promise in your eyes when you were wolf."

Qui-Gon turned slowly, back rippling with muscle. "You saw my love and affection. As for the rest...Obi-Wan is my mate. Now and forever."

"Ssssss. Be there no room in your heart for another?" she stood in all her glory, firm and ripe.

Qui-Gon looked at her, leashing his desire. He knew her plan, coming here to tempt him. And tempted he was.

"Sssss. You know of my hunger. It isn't the same. My soul burns for Obi-Wan alone."

Llane climbed into the tub. "Yes, your love brought you back to yourself. Complete the journey with me" her eyes roamed on him.

He leaned towards her, thumbing her full lips.

"Hragh." she panted, looking at the muscled form glistening with perfumed oil. "Well could this satisfy my appetites for an eternity" silky arms reached around him.

Obi-Wan wasn't a fool. He had returned from his castle watch and observed the entire scene silently, cloaking his presence. Their desire for each other was clear.

She is his mother. It is her right, but he is mine.

They kissed deeply in the tub. //You will complete with me as well.//

//Not possible, but everything else is ours.//

Qui-Gon stood, lifting Llane over his hips. She clawed his back, eyes wild.

"Sssss!! You're a far cry from my little wolfling so long ago. Pits of hel, marry me now, you stud!!"

Qui-Gon roared, biting her neck. Powerful arms lifted her as he penetrated, strong hands gripping the plush buttocks. She rode him standing in the water, howling and screeching with inhuman mania.

She dog in heat. Obi-Wan thought.

They climaxed seconds later, thick semen running down the heavy thighs. Llane sighed, purred. Slender fingers ran pointed nails across the broad shoulders.

Qui-Gon kissed her softly, pecking her eyes and throat. He lowered her into the water, creamy thighs still wrapped around his hips. They murmured endearments, voices low. He fondled her breasts, suckling them.

Obi-Wan dropped his cloak of secrecy and walked over to them. At first they didn't notice but then Llane looked up, startled.

"Sssss. How now, Obi-Wan! You were about the castle."

"And so I was. But my touring was done for the night. I see you've been busy" jade eyes blazed at Qui-Gon.

"Your sarcasm is unappreciated" Qui-Gon responded. He wasn't apologetic.

"Llane" Obi-Wans' eyes were hard. "Remember he is mine, bound to me as mate. Our souls burn. It can happen only once in a joining, and you know this."

Her eyes blazed. "We'll see, brat!"

He smirked. "Hardly, witch. I allowed you this right as his mother. But don't think to cross the line and lay claim."

Qui-Gon was very still. His eyes burned on his son.

Llane bristled. She stood slowly, fangs bared. "Whelp. You think to stalk in here and dictate terms to me? I am Queen of the damned. None speak thus imperiously, not even blood. And rest assured my power can make you regret your arrogance!"

Obi-Wan returned her smile. "The power is mine as well. Do we wreck your precious hel to prove a point?"

She glowered at him, fire crackling in her hair.

"Sssss. Qui-Gon, we will talk at the Council session. I would leave" she turned to Obi-Wan.

"Don't think you've won anything with this defiance. I could well bring you to your knees. Llane does not make idle threats."

She stalked out, perfect body bouncing in anger.

Obi-Wan snorted. "Beautiful. But she gets on my last nerve sometimes."

Qui-Gon blotted himself dry. "Obi-Wan, don't make the mistake of assuming you can battle her in such a fashion. Power alone will never defeat her, and she has an eternity of experience and knowledge."

Jade eyes smouldered. "I just wanted to make her understand that you aren't a conquest."

"Still you will respect her. She is your lineage."

"I'll apologize to her later."

Qui-Gon regarded him a moment. "Your youth is at odds with your maturity."

Obi-Wan thought that over. "You may be right."

Llane brooded in her chamber of meditation. She sat in a lotus position, wearing a green satin robe.

Obi-Wan quietly entered. "Grandmother."

She didn't turn around. "Leave me, boy. I have little to say to you."

"No. I must apologize. You were within your right-"

"I was. You interrupted at an inopportune time."

Obi-Wan moved closer. "I was there the entire time, but you were unaware."

She spun. The low light emphasized her cheekbones. "You dare spy on us?"

"I wasn't spying, I observed you. Didn't you think I knew of your desire for father? It was evident even from the beginning."

She gave a slow smile. "Do tell. And what of my desire for thee?" she taunted.

Obi-Wan stood very straight. "That also was obvious."

Llane stood in front of him. The green satin hugged every curve. She eyed him brazenly up and down.

"And what do you think of me?"

"You're fishing for compliments, grandmother. Shall I shout it? You are beautiful and most desirable. But desire occurs with many. The soul burns for only one. My father spoke the truth. Surely you are aware of this. Did you not feel the same for Eblu'Aranhe?"

Llane stared at him a moment. "You are impressive, Obi-Wan. When time tempers your judgement you will be extraordinary. And yes, I did love the Guardian. The fates warned me against such a union but I refused to listen, for ambition burned in my breast."

"Your love consumes you, then?"

"How can it not? I am the essence of darkness. Nothing in my nature is moderate. I awaited my sons' maturity so that we could bond."

Jade eyes burned on her. "But you must have seen what happened during the transformation. Our love for each other brought out our true selves."

Llane paced the chamber. "It may have been the catalyst, but eventually the change would have occured anyway. It was not a transformation as such, but a reversion. Since you are my sons' offspring, the change would affect you as well. You merely became what you always were. That previous life...was a lie."

Obi-Wan felt as if he were on to something. "How so? We do indeed have Guardian blood..."

"It was not easy seeing mortals raise my son" Llane told him. "And tho' you have ties to the Guardians, they will never acknowlege you in any fashion."

"We were both raised as Jedi."

The crystal blue eyes were flecked with red now. "And did that prevent you from becoming what you truly are? The Jedi saw portents, but misinterpreted them. And as for the Guardians...their blood allows you total freedom in the realities. But you are no more Guardian than you were Jedi, for though you possess some small light it is not in your soul."

"I still see it as a strength" Obi-Wan insisted.

She gave a rueful laugh. "Now that is your father speaking. Perhaps it is. But remember what I said. Light in the power is not the same as light in the soul."

Obi-Wan paced. "No, but father and I don't always have evil intent."

"A product of your mortal lifestyle. Those of temporary lives face shades of gray in their choices and values. Immortals are not so subtle. The state of being tends to dictate actions and motivations."

"Genetic behavior? Do you really ascribe to that?"

She smoothed her sleek bangs. "Hmm. Specific behaviors? No. But true immortals are a different order of being, Obi-Wan. Essence is the key, not genetics. You could bring an angel here and train him to be evil, but it wouldn't work. The light within would prevent it. He might have undersirable habits, but that would be it. You cannot be what you aren't."

"What about free choice!"

"Mortals hold that dear, because they have little influence on the outcome of their lives. An immortal can control any aspect, so free choice becomes a moot point."

Obi-Wan was silent a bit, absorbing this. "So our essence won out in the end?" he asked her.

She beamed. "Your questions do me proud Obi-Wan, and you continue to impress me. Immortals have a saying: heed your state of being and it will be you."

Obi-Wan stroked her hair. It felt like silk. "But ultimately, immortals are slaves to their existence as well."

She leaned into him. "All beings are bound by something, my kry'ka. It doesn't matter nearly as much as you think. The same choices are made, the same actions are done."

Obi-Wan turned her around and kissed her. "I thank thee, grandmother. You've taught me much this night."

Her eyes were hot under black lashes. "I too have discovered something."

His eyes matched hers for heat. "And that is?"

Fangs peeked under perfect lips. "You don't have much to learn."

Everything in hel was over the top, and Qui-Gons' personal chambers were no exception. A huge bed took up much of the central floor space, supported by a massive gold frame. Down filled satin pillows formed a pallet, topped by mink blankets. The headstand was an elaborate rendition of demons in battle. Heavy velvet curtains assured luxury and privacy. Soft candlelight muted the effect, lending an air of mystery and eroticism.

Obi-Wan took another stroll. He wanted to test a theory.

And Llane was nothing if not persistent. Again she slipped into her sons' chambers, buff and ready.

Qui-Gon was out. His muscled physique was the picture of male comeliness, the perfect blend of size and porportion. Long legs sprawled, the heavy thighs barely covered in mink fur. The rippling back nearly concealed by a curtain of hair sweeping down over the pillows. Thickly developed arms clutched more pillows in sleep, the leonine head the epitome of masculinity, strong neck and jaw.

Llane sighed. Pits. This must be mine! slender fingers teased along the goatee.

Qui-Gon stirred slightly, rolling on his back. Llane stared at his chest, licking her lips. The bronze nipples were peaked in the low light. Soft wisps of brownish curls wound lower to a heavy endowment.

Llane opened her legs over him, wiggling her crotch against his. Feral eyes flew open.

"SSSSSssss!!!"

Qui-Gon looked up at the raven haired she devil. "Again with this, Llane? I would sleep. Go!"

She stroked her breasts over him. "Sssss. I think not. Better to finish what was started."

"I disagree."

"You cannot resist. It is futile" soft lips were on his throat.

He trembled as she sipped his blood, overcome with the sensations. His arms fell away as he sighed in bliss.

//We shall rule together.// her eyes blazed wildly.

Qui-Gon found his voice. "No matter the pleasure, it will not be. You are stubborn, but I am just as willfull."

She sat back, disappointed. "So I see. But if I kiss thee enough times, you will see things my way."

"I doubt that" another voice.

She spun. "Bile of Baldus, will this child ne'er stop interfering!!"

Obi-Wan approached the bed. "I'm no child, Llane. And haven't we done this movie in black and white? Enough!"

Llane rolled off her son. "Hear me, Obi-Wan. This is none of your affair. And there are many she demons who would love to be your consort here."

Obi-Wan snarled, jade eyes flashing. "That isn't even worthy of a response. You think to bond with my mate? Truly, you are mad beyond description!"

Qui-Gon propped up on an elbow, fogged with pleasure still. "Stop it, both of you."

Llane bounded to her feet. "I forgave your impulsiveness earlier. I won't be so generous again."

Obi-Wan flashed his fangs. "You've attempted his bed twice in one night and call me impulsive?!"

"Do not test me" her voice was low.

Obi-Wan stood in her face. "Perhaps I should. Is your blood not mine?"

She lifted a clawed hand to strike. "We'll see how your blood runs, then!"

Swifter than lightning, Obi-Wan grabbed her wrist. Llane hissed. Obi-Wan went hurtling across the room.

Qui-Gon sat up. "Mother-"

Shrieking, she leaped on him, changing into wolf form. Obi-Wan grabbed her by the scruff and threw her high in the air. Howling, she landed on her rump. He shifted and pressed the attack. A wolf of deepest crimson charged her, bowling her over before she could recover.

She crashed into a marble statue, stunned. Obi-Wan stood in front of her, hackles up and tail stiff.

"Snnnrlll!! Shall we continue, grandmother? I can give as good as I get!"

The black she wolf stood on her haunches, shaking with rage. She leapt at his throat. Yowling and rolling they bit and tore, fur flying. Obi-Wan pressed against her with his greater bulk. Llane battled out of the tight corner with hellacious tenacity.

Qui-Gon watched this war dance. He did nothing.

The two wolves continued to crash into everything as they fought. Llane fought defensively now, not turning her back to Obi-Wan. Again he pressed in on her.

Her fangs were wicked under wild blue eyes flecked with red. "I should rip your throat!" she growled.

Obi-Wan growled back with glowing green orbs, cracking his jaws at her. "You tried that already. Not enough, Llane!"

"We shall see." warily she circled, not getting too close.

He followed her motion, tail up and stiff. When she lunged he would snap at her.

"Grrwwrr. You fight well. I am impressed."

Obi-Wan said nothing, for he would not be distracted. It was too easy a strategy.

She lunged at him again, going airborne for his back. He rolled over, catching her throat as she fell into him. She yowled piteously as he pinned her.

"Enough, whelp. It is enough!" she yelped, squirming in his jaws' grip.

/There will be no more fighting here./

"Agreed. Let me up!"

He released her. Llane rolled to her feet, panting.

Obi-Wans' ears were still flat, not trusting her.

Llane padded slowly to the hallway. She turned briefly to her son and grandson.

"I must go to the well of recuperation. We will talk later."

Silent as shadow, she slipped out. Obi-Wan shifted. He was bruised and sore.

"Come" a deep voice commanded. Qui-Gon held out muscled arms to his love.

Weary, Obi-Wan slid into his embrace, sinking into the soft cushions. They were silent for a while. Obi-Wan sat up gingerly as his father removed his shirt and pants.

"What was that all about? Why did she attack me?"

Qui-Gon touched his injuries. "Frustration. She knows she cannot bond with me. Jealousy and rage spurred her to attack. Later she will regret it."

"Does she hate me?"

"Not at all. In fact, she loves you madly."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Spare me from such love."

"What do you expect? She embodies darkness, and such natures are prone to extremes."

"Seems more psychotic to me. What will it be tomorrow, candy and roses?"

Qui-Gon held him tightly. "No. She was also testing you" long fingers stroked the smooth forehead.

Obi-Wan yawned, instantly sleepy. "And did I pass?"

Qui-Gon kissed him. "With flying colors."

In the deepest recesses of the castle, Llane immersed herself in the mystic pool of healing and renewal. She smiled silently.

The realm shall endure, for I have two kings. Pride bursts in my breast.

She slipped her head under the soothing waters, content.

Obi-Wan was content as well, nestled in his lovers' arms. They awoke later. Concepts such as 'morning' and 'evening' had no meaning in the realm of eternal night.

He had healed. And he was feeling affectionate. Very affectionate.

"Mmmm."

"Hot blooded snekt."

"Quiet. I want to eat the other one."

"Gaughkk!!"

Obi-Wan slid low, slopping on the moist thatch at the groin. He feasted on a thick cock, nipping the tip. One ball down. Another to go. He pinched it.

"SSSsss!!!" Qui-Gon bounced up, grimacing in delight.

Plump lips settled on the heavy sacs, suckling. Slapping stings on the big legs. Qui-Gon ground his hips into the cushions with wild abandon.

"Oh, yessss, Obi" the fine face was contorted with pleasure.

A strong hand pulled him, yanking the root. Obi-Wan tasted bitter salt on his lips.

/Oh, what's this. Popovers!/ he bit down on tender testicles. Qui-Gon cried out, firing a thick stream of heat.

It splattered everywhere as he bounced. Obi-Wan held out a coiled tongue, catching it from the air. Pearly slop struck his face.

Qui-Gon sank back, powerful throat flexing. "Aaaahhhh..."

Obi-Wan kissed the thick thighs. "Liked that, did you?"

The deep eyes were lidded on him. "SsSssss. Haven't come like that in days. Remind me to return the favor."

Jade eyes burned with lust. "I shall. But for now I wanted to please thee."

Qui-Gon managed to roll to a sitting position. "Oh you do. Very much."

Obi-Wan climbed into his embrace again. They fell back once more. Qui-Gon lazily pulled a fur blanket across their hips as the lovers snuggled in.

The two nuzzled and kissed a bit.

"Father, I have a question."

Eyes of blue crystal regarded him lovingly. "Go on."

"I had a long conversation with grandmother. She told me that immortals are a function of their essence. Is this so?"

"It is."

"Also, we have guardian blood. I maintained with her we would always possess some quality of light. Her arguement was that while we possess it in power, it isn't in our souls. Your opinion?"

"She's entitled to hers."

"You disagree?"

"Probably. It's the same reason I can't rule here. Some aspect of me will always rebel it."

"But you are darkling. Besides, didn't you say that humanity is buried here?"

"True. It isn't so much can I rule here, but would I want to."

"Llane also insists that despite our heritage we aren't guardian."

"We aren't."

"Why don't we show any characteristics of the guardians?"

"Only guardians beget guardians. Their essence is purest in light. And though we possess some qualities by blood, it isn't our essence."

Obi-Wan mulled that over. "Evidence as what?"

"Compassion to a degree. The fact that we were raised as mortals makes a difference."

Obi-Wan plopped over him. "That follows. And her perspective is different than ours because of it."

"That and the fact that she's older than time itself."

Obi-Wan cuddled up, playing with his fathers' hair. "The council session...what do you think will happen?"

"Hopefully they will see my point of view. We will have a compromise regarding rulership here."

A short while later the two lovers drifted off to sleep again. Llane appeared in the chamber and quietly observed them.

Their love is truly rare for any, be they mortal or immortal. And e'en the Queen of Darkness must stand in awe. For it is much like the love I bore my Eblu'Aranhe ere he did betray me.

She smiled slowly. Qui-Gon opened his eyes and looked at her. In silence, he stroked the lush body next to his possessively.

Llane said nothing. Matching eyes bored into each other, aglow in the dim lighting.

She approached the bed, gliding in motion. Slowly she leaned forward, kissing her son and sleeping grandson on the forehead.

Without a word she retreated, dissolving into shadow. Qui-Gon was serene. Pulling Obi-Wan into a crushing hold, he settled into the dark.

Obi-Wan woke with the sense that they were being watched. He was correct. A chunky demon stood in the corner. Popalock.

He glared at the creature. "What's your problem?! Haven't you heard of privacy!!"

The demon pulled nervously at his orange mustache. "Forgive me Prince, but I was sent to retrieve you. The council is in session, and you were expected two hours ago."

"Ssssss."

Qui-Gon turned over, sitting up blearily. The mat of hair fanned out into a tent over his back and down over the bed.

"Then why are you bothering us? We have another hour."

Obi-Wan looked at him in confusion. Popalock coughed.

"Well, I also brought suitable garments for your session. The Queen insisted. She detests seeing you dressed as mortals."

Obi-Wan peered into the chunky arms, seeing folded clothing. He couldn't determine what their outfits looked like.

Qui-Gon waved him off. "Inform the Queen we will be there shortly."

Popalock bowed. "So be it, my King." he placed the garments on an overstuffed chair and scuttled out.

Obi-Wan watched him go. "Uh...why did you say we have more time when we're already late?"

Qui-Gon yawned. "It's hel. Everyone is always late. And I'll bet the Council members are just arrived."

Obi-Wan laughed, slipped out of bed. He looked over their clothes. "What's this supposed to be, dungeon gear 101?!"

"Radical would be putting it mildy" Qui-Gon made a face.

Obi-Wan held up a leather body thong. "Are they insane?!"

Curious, Qui-Gon came over. "Neck sleeves? Elastic boots?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. We've got arm sleeves, too." he whipped out two large piece of fabric.

"Capes??"

"I don't care what the Queen wants" Qui-Gon stared. "I'm modifying my outfit."

Obi-Wan winced, holding the thong against himself. "It does seem like a little too much skin if you ask me."

Qui-Gon sighed. "Guess this calls for compromise all around."

The two Lords were quite fashionable in immortal terms. Qui-Gon had indeed altered his clothing. Obi-Wans' attire also was more geared towards his personality.

Qui-Gon wore an armhole satin body sleeve of deep violet. The chest and torso were cutaway to show cleavage. Matching forearm sleeves set off the look. Gold adorned his waist and neck. Black boots with purple dragon designs were angle cut at the thighs. A dragon tail of gold wound through the massive braid. His cape was ultraviolet blue.

Obi-Wan wore a mosaic cut out body suit in shades of red and green. Olive tone boots wound around his legs in a pattern, shaped like climbing serpents. He also wore gold about the neck and waist. Muscled arms were graced with wraparound straps also in the form of serpents. His cape was brick red.

Obi-Wan gave a wicked grin. "Well, are we over the top or what?"

Qui-Gon admired their reflection in a mirror. "Utterly ridiculous. But damn, we look good."

The Council awaited them in the deepest recesses of the castle. Llane called them to order.

"Esteemed Council. There is much to be decided here. The future of the realm is at stake."

The rulers of hel argued amongst themselves. One spoke up.

"Agreed, Llane. I for one am sick of this endless strife. Unification of the circles is no answer."

Another ruler piped in. "True. Divisions must exist, for all sins are punished accordingly."

Llane waved her hand. "We aren't going to have another merge. Proposition 666 failed miserably anyway. It took me over a year to repair the landscapes."

Still another ruler. "And I for one won't give up my territorial size. Who determines distribution?"

Llane coughed pointedly.

The demon snuffed nervously. "What I mean is, there is no agreement as to size of division-"

"Rulership is the issue of this session" another voice.

The council all turned. Two commanding figures strode with some arrogance into the chamber.

Llane eyed them appreciatively. "Welcome, Lords. Take your seats upon the dias."

Obi-Wan noticed their 'seats' were far more ornate, nearly thronelike. She's fitting us for the keys to the kingdom already.

The infernal assembly officially convened with their arrival. The Council chairs were carved from deep green granite against a grey marble floor. Huge torches illuminated velvet covered walls. Llane sat upon a raised half dome of red onyx in the center. Her attire was simple but dramatic, orange wraparound body straps in an intricate pattern finished with a gold cape and roman type sandals.

The various rulers themselves wore an assemblage of capes, headdresses, and body armor. Some even wore partial masks. Llane herself wore a small headpiece that resembled a nest of serpents.

Obi-Wan had a stray thought. She definitely looks the part.

Llane stood, smiling vaguely in his direction. "I will introduce you to your fellow lords of the Council. Some you may recognize."

Obi-Wan looked about. His eyes went wide as he saw a familiar 'face'. It was Muckluck.

The demon enjoyed his surprise. Llane spoke on.

"By region and ring I will announce them. Lord of the first circle, Stoankold."

A yellow, pixie faced demon stood, with a hook nose. Green spikes grew from his head.

"Lord of the second circle, Freek."

A five breasted demon stood. She was ruddy orange with enormous gray eyes and goat legs.

"Lord of the third circle, Pis'doff."

A boarlike demon with pink hair, big snout and tusks stood. He was deep red in color.

"Lord of the fourth circle, Frenzee."

A rail thin demon with white antlers stood. He was pale blue with long clawed hands and a scaly tail.

"Lord of the fifth circle, D'Generit."

Monkey faced and purple furred, another demon stood. A huge tuft of blue hair stood atop the she-devils' head. Wide white lips went from ear to ear.

"Lord of the sixth circle, Skumm."

A dark grey, rhino headed demon with red eyes stood next. His bloated, thick body was covered with huge knobs.

"Lord of the seventh circle, Muckluck."

The tall, fox faced demon smiled, green fangs flashing. His multicolored, shaggy hair sparked.

"Lord of the eighth circle, Dumm'azz."

A dopey looking demon stood, stoop shouldered with long limbs. Lavender in color with scaly skin, his oversized fangs hung ridiculously out of his mouth.

"Lord of the ninth circle, Kookk."

Another lord stood, ashy grey in color with glassy purple eyes that popped out insanely. The head sported a single horn over scraggly green hair. She was barrel chested, with a red forked tail and paws for feet.

"And lastly, of the tenth circle, Lord Phunk."

A bald, polka dot demon stood, small eyes beady and black. His pig like snout flopped down. A belt of hair grew around his waist.

"We greet the esteemed Council" Qui-Gon stated regally.

Obi-Wan found his voice. "Hail, Darklords. Rulership is the issue this night." Anybody got head bags?

The assembly reseated themselves. Llane spoke first.

"It is my proposal that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan remain here and rule, as is their proper place by heritage and blood. Opinions?"

Kookk spoke first, pop eyes spinning like pinballs. "The decision must be made not on the merit of essence, but capability of being."

"If I understood all that correctly you're saying that we should be qualified, not just voted in by blood. Is this true, Lord Kookk?" Qui-Gon asked.

"That's ridiculous" Obi-Wan said. "No one applies to be 'Lord of Hel.'"

"My opinion was asked and I'm giving it!!" Kookks' voice was shrill. "You have no experience ruling a realm..."

D'Generit disagreed, chittering loudly. Purple fur stood on end.

"It is their right. And Obi-Wan can gain experience with time. What is your point, Kookk?"

Dumm'azz scratched himself, fangs hanging from overbite.

"I would think it best that they rule. Provided there are no infringements on our territories."

Stonekoal snapped sharp teeth at him. "Bah! You never see the larger picture, Dumm'azz. If their rule is proper we have nothing to be concerned about. But ever must we be vigilant against the Guardians."

"Why?" Obi-Wan wanted to know. "What's their concern with hel?"

Pis'doff blew through his thick snout. "And therein lies the problem, Lords. The inexperience of the Prince could prove costly ere our enemies attack."

"Why don't you answer his question?" Qui-Gon insisted. "There's no reason for the guardians to attack-"

"Says who??" screeched Frenzee. He shook his antlers. "They always think to decimate our ranks. Rule through benevolence, so they say. Bah!"

"Hold" Qui-Gon put out a hand. "Are you saying the guardians are aggressively seeking control over the balance?"

Phunk nodded, beady eyes glinting. He scratched his spotted head.

"Aye, they front well for mortals who follow their precepts. In truth, they want domination as much as we."

"How could I be expected to know all this?" Obi-Wan interjected. "Anyway, it isn't decided whether or not we will remain here-"

"Which brings us back to the original point" Llane supplied. "This is a critical cycle. The guardians have indeed sent patrols along hel's edge."

"Have they interfered?" Qui-Gon wanted to know.

Skumm belched, slapping his big belly. "So far they haven't" he shook his massive head as if to charge. "But I tell you this, it gives me colic to see angels roaming at the fringe."

"Is that a common practice?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Nay, Prince" Muckluck replied. "Only when they gear for war. I suspect recent events have spurred their actions."

"Regarding?"

Muckluck waved at them both, rainbow hair crackling wildly.

"The dragon and serpent dared an assault. It was met with equal force and repelled. Of course, any experienced darklord would know you can never attack the firmament in such a manner."

Obi-Wan was redfaced. He knew the reference to himself and his father.

"I would for you to know" Qui-Gon said, annoyed, "that our change was spontaneous, and our power raged out of control. There was no conscious attempt to raze heaven."

Freek giggled, a scratchy and irritating sound. Her multiple breasts bounced off each other.

"Impulsive, eh? Such actions may indeed trigger a full scale war. If so, I vote thee stay!!"

"You aren't listening, Freek" Obi-Wan despised looking at her. "None of it was intentional, the Dakkari-"

She stomped a goatlike leg. "Yes, we know. The least you can do is stay and correct the problem you helped create!"

Obi-Wan held his temper in check, barely. "The problems here have little to do with me, based on what I've seen!"

She stuck a blue tongue out at him.

"It is yet to be determined if the recent past amounts to war" Llane was remarkably contained. "But preparations must be made."

Stoankold held his narrow head high with indifference. "Perhaps, o' Queen. Surely, their power would be of great use. But what about the liability of inexperience, as was mentioned?"

Qui-Gon snapped his fangs at him. "Dolt. We're inexperienced, not stupid!!"

"Qui-Gon speaks true" Pis'doff honked. "Power makes up for quite a bit. And their Jedi training may offer a unique perspective."

"No offense" Stoankold sniffed, green head spikes quivering. "Perhaps I must reconsider. In my judgement it is best if you stay. Besides, tho' raised by mortal Qui-Gon did spend part of his childhood in hel. He knows our ways."

Phunk jumped up and down excitedly. "Indeed, it could be that mplffphgg..."

"What the frack is wrong with your face??" Qui-Gon couldn't believe what he was seeing.

The heavyset demon pushed his snout clear. It had flopped down again, covering his mouth and blocking speech.

Obi-Wan laughed. He couldn't take it. Muckluck, Freek and Frenzee also joined in, howling and shrieking.

Phunk glowered at them. "Laugh at this!" he blasted Muckluck in the butt. The fox faced devil screamed, holding his backside.

Llane continued smoothly. "Are there any further comments ere judgement is rendered?"

Dumm'azz picked his nose. "Appearances are everything. The Lords seem frightening enough to the enemy. And any war fought must be fought in the mind as well. Perhaps they should stay."

"Perhaps you should consider surgery" Qui-Gon retorted. "You might stab yourself with that overbite."

The sleepy expression didn't change. "Why thank thee for the insult, Lord."

"We can exchange pleasantries later!!" Kookk screeched, forked tail banging the floor. "For now, we must determine what is best for the fate of the realm. Llane, we will accept no less!"

"It will be done in accordance with the vote" the hel Queen responded.

"Do we have a say in this at all?!" Obi-Wan demanded. "Perhaps ruling hel is not high on our agenda!"

"You'll have enough to keep you busy here, Prince" Freek batted her eyes. She crossed hairy goat legs in an attempt at vanity. "Between ruling the realm and visiting the second circle, that is."

Obi-Wan curled a lip in disgust. "Don't worry about it, sister. I won't even come close to that."

The Rhino demon Skumm licked his nose. "Discuss your love life later. You are of the blood, and shall remain here."

"I have something to say-" Qui-Gon began.

"Oh dear, we'd best get comfortable then" Muckluck settled in his seat.

Qui-Gon glared at him, but continued. "We understand the obligation, but our own lives must come first."

"At the expense of the realm?!!!" Frenzee screamed. His scaly tail spun in the air.

Obi-Wan stared. "Can you talk under a hundred decibels?!"

D'Generit chittered again. "Impossible. You and father both shall remain here. The strength of everyone is needed ere the guardians start hostilities" the monkey devil pulled on her white lips.

Obi-Wan fell silent. Just looking at them makes me ill.

"We can remain available as needed" Qui-Gon continued. "There's no need to assume that war is imminent."

Phunk slapped his head. It had a hollow sound. "Now that tears it. Mortal living has dulled your edge, Qui-Gon. You know the guardians are resolute!"

"True, but they are rarely so aggressive."

"All that changed after your appearance at the vault of heaven" Llane told him.

"How so? They saw the portents. What occurred was no surprise!"

"No, but they view it as preclude to a struggle for dominance."

"Then they see what they wish to see" Obi-Wan chimed in. "It wasn't as if our original goal was to attack them. They had to know this!"

Murmurs among the council. Muckluck stood up.

"The concern here is now they know our capabilites. It's why they've sent angels out on border patrols."

The barrel chested Kookk continued, eyes still spinning in every direction. "Bad news. I've received reports that demons in the fifth circle have been abducted and questioned by the guardians."

Llane snapped her head to at that. "Were they returned?"

"Aye, unharmed. But word has it the guardians suspect treachery" Kookk gave a satisfied smile. "Of course the injuries they sustained probably fueled their suspicion."

Obi-Wan frowned. "Injuries? What's that have to do with anything?"

Kookk 'looked' at Obi-Wan, eyes going like pinballs. "Ha. None, not even the guardians can abduct citizens of hel without...feeling the effects. They'll reconsider such tactics in the future."

Obi-Wan peered at the demon. Her tail was as busy as her eyes.

Kookk snorted. "Something, o Prince?"

"Nothing. I just can't determine what you're looking at."

She laughed, a piercing harpy sound. "My decision is made. Thou shall stay with us and rule!"

"Nothing has been decided-" Qui-Gon began.

Freek flexed her claws. "I'm afraid it has, sweet Lords" her eyes glimmered unpleasantly.

Llane was impassive as the demon lords stood in a line.

Obi-Wan glanced at his father. "What are they doing!"

Qui-Gon surveyed them. "Nothing good, I'm afraid-"

Skumm slammed ham like fists together. "Nay, you'll not leave. You shall rule...forever!"

"Let me tell you something, ugly" Obi-Wan stood. "No one in hel or outside it orders me around."

D'Generit smacked her grotesque lips at them. "You'll have every opportunity to make it to freedom...provided you get out of hel in one piece. When you're in, you're all the way in. Know what I mean?"

"You can stuff it too, gruesome. Get in my way if you want."

Pis'doff crouched low, thick arms wide. A gross tongue curled over stubby tusks.

"Don't even think it" Qui-Gon snarled. He straightened to his full height.

"Classless cretins" Stoankold put his hooked nose in the air. "The time for talking is done" green head spikes lengthened.

Phunk stepped forward, pig eyes shining. His snout flopped again. "Oh, it's gonna be a hot time tonight."

"Rule dregs such as you?!!" Qui-Gon thundered. "Sooner would I be chopped and fed to the Cyclops!!"

Muckluck clicked his tongue, hair aflame now. "Tsk. That isn't nice, Lord. Guess we'll have to teach you a lesson in manners" he moved at them.

Obi-Wan stepped up also. "Your last move, fool. Come on, bring it!"

"FIGHT!!!!" Frenzee screeched with the pitch of an air raid siren.

All 'hel' broke loose. The rhinolike Skumm charged into them, crashing them against a far wall. Obi-Wan shifted, changing into wolf form. He slinked from underneath the huge demon and went after Muckluck.

The firehaired demon ran, to no avail. Obi-Wan chased him in circles, snapping at his backside. Muckluck howled, holding his wounded rump.

Frenzee was attempting to gore Qui-Gon with his antlers. Big hands held the horns at bay, wrenching them sideways and throwing the blue demon to the floor. Freek leaped on his back, her multiple breasts wrapping around his face in an attempt to smother. Qui-Gon shifted. A glinting gold wolf rolled over, shaking her free. Powerful jaws gripped a goat leg, hurling her into Phunk. Both demons went flying. Llane ducked behind the semi-dome dias.

Though powerful, Skumm was ponderously slow. He rolled forward for another charge but the wolves easily eluded him. Qui-Gon ran under his legs, tripping him. He crashed on the floor, knocking himself out.

Next was Dumm'azz, who crept up behind Obi-Wan, pulling him into a bear hug. Long limbs squeezed, as he attempted to bite furred shoulders with his oversized fangs.

Qui-Gon charged him, jaws cracking over a slender scaly leg. Shrieking, the demon dropped Obi-Wan immediately. Obi-Wan returned the favor on the other leg. Dumm'azz fell to the floor, yowling and holding both limbs.

Kookk came from nowhere, whipping her long tail out and tripping the wolves. Screaming like a banshee, she tried to stab them with her horn. Obi-Wan shifted to human form and grabbed it, flipping her off balance.

D'Generit was attempting to kiss Qui-Gon, a vile substance oozing from huge white lips. She straddled the gold wolf and bent over.

Qui-Gon was having none of it. Shifting, he rolled on his back and punched her lights out.

Stoankold stood off, the only one who hadn't entered the fray. Obi-Wan stalked over to him.

"Well Bizarro?!" emerald eyes blazed. "You want any?"

Stoankold eyed his defeated comrades. "I think not. Such activity is beneath my dignity."

"Hmpf" Obi-Wan joined his father at the dias. Llane contined to watch neutrally from her dome seat, arctic eyes keen.

They surveyed the battered demon lords sprawled about the chamber.

Qui-Gon clicked his fangs. "Now, are there any objections to our final decision regarding rulership?"

Frenzee touched his broken antlers. "Speak on, Qui-Gon" he was subdued.

"Aye, we would hear" Phunk added. He sported a huge knot on his head.

"We will go our own way" Qui-Gon continued. "Should the Queen require our sevices we will be available without question."

"And" Obi-Wan continued, "there will be no 'attempts' to force our return. The realm is well ruled by the Queen. Accept this decision."

The lords murmured amongst themselves. In truth, they had no choice.

"Agreed?!" Qui-Gon all but demanded. Crystal blue eyes crackled with power.

"Agreed" the demon lords muttered, sulky and indignant.

Llane reclined on her seat. She lifted a slender hand. "This session of the Infernal Council is over. We will reconvene next week."

The demon lords faded and were gone instantly.

Obi-Wan watched in awe. "Grandmother, you certainly know how to clear a room."

Her voluptuous form glided towards them. "They'll sulk a bit. However, a little contention is always good."

Qui-Gon took her hands. "We can't stay."

Matching blue eyes flashed a moment. "You could" she returned. "But it is not your desire."

"No. But I meant what I said. Should you ever need me, I will be here."

The lovely face turned, sleek back hair around high cheekbones. "And you, Obi-Wan?"

He couldn't stop looking at her. "Grandmother, I can't stay either. But I would like to visit and see the...finer points of hel."

She laughed, a rich melodious sound. "There are many" she looked at him searchingly a moment.

"You have done well with this one, my son."

Qui-Gon smiled. "He is a source of pride for me."

Obi-Wan felt warm. "Why did we fight?" the question weighed on his mind.

Soft lips kissed him. "I needed to know if you could withstand my strength. Only by doing so could you prove your worthiness of rulership."

He stroked her shining hair. "And now?"

"You are free to leave, prince. But know that you are ever bound to hel, for the day may come when you must rule. No decision will ever change that."

Obi-Wan hugged her curves. "I know. Thank you" his braid spun.

She laughed, catching it and holding it still. "You made the mightiest lords of the realm look like fools. Rarely am I so entertained."

Obi-Wan grinned mischeviously. "Guess if I were that butt ugly I'd be evil, too!"

Llane roared with hilarity. "Imp!!"

They prepared to leave. The three demon lords walked through the castle towards the exit.

"If you go east on the helbridge it becomes the pathway of souls. The mortal plane lies beyond."

Qui-Gon looked at her fondly. "I remember, mother."

"And don't forget to get enough blood. Keep up your strength."

Obi-Wan broke a grin. "We will."

"Send the wicked to me. Hel's maw is always open!"

Qui-Gon swept her up into a kiss. "You're crazy, Llane!"

Sapphire eyes glowed. "I will miss thee both. You will visit."

Obi-Wan pecked her cheek. "Maybe you can visit us, too."

She tilted her head. "Maybe..."

There was a commotion outside the gates. Demons were arguing loudly.

"Hold! What occurs here?!" Llane demanded.

They immediately fell to their knees. A purple demon with a ball shaped nose answered.

"A mix up, o Queen. Skirit here says it's their watch. My band says otherwise!"

Llane noticed that the centaurs were gone. "What happened to the Arbani? They stood at the gates prior to now."

"Strange circumstances to be certain, mistress" Skirit answered. He was green, with a hammer shaped head. "The Arbani went to the fifth circle to aid the third watch whom as you know were swallowed by the giant bloodworms."

She waved him off impatiently. "Yes, I know. Go on!!"

"Well, they got too close and were swallowed as well. Now the eighth watch is attempting to get them all out."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head.

"The inmates have the keys" Qui-Gon grinned.

"Dimbrains!!" Llane shouted at them. "All of you, stay here. I will personally boil anyone who returns to the fifth circle!"

The two bands of demons glowered at each other, but didn't move.

The haughty Queen swept past them down the path. "Come, Lords. I will walk you to the helbridge."

Obi-Wan meekly walked behind her. /She's something else./

Qui-Gon brought up the rear. //No doubt.//

They stood at the yawning helbridge. The impossible span dissolved into shadow.

"Grandmother, I think you'd better get some new soldiers."

Llane snorted. "The idiots. Anyone with a lick of sense knows the bloodworms have notoriously bad eyesight. Anything in front of them they swallow."

Qui-Gon laughed. "True. Perhaps the bloodworms will bring up the bad taste."

Llane made a face at him. "One can only hope" she grew somber. "Don't stay away too long."

The three of them embraced together.

Llane stood back, eyeing them with pride. "Think tenderly of this old she devil from time to time."

Obi-Wan disagreed. "There is nothing old about you. Farewell, grandmother."

Qui-Gon nuzzled her once more. "Safe tide, mother."

They walked the bridge. Shadows swirled as they ascended, winding in endless patterns. Distant peaks and canyons faded into infinity.

The eye of Llane shall ever be upon thee.

They both turned. Llane and hel itself had disappeared, as mysterious and timeless as eternity itself.

Eventually they reached the gateway of souls. The helbridge ended there, going into the side of an endless mountain. Inside was the gateway, most nearly resembling a winding cave. It was dank with a swamplike odor. A huge serpent coiled against the opening, the starlit skies of the universe beyond.

The creature was colorful. Millions of scales held colors of every hue, forming a rainbow. Eyes of deepest crimson regarded them as they approached.

Obi-Wan whispered in his fathers' ear. "Who is that?"

"The ancient serpent god Litthsyss. He is older than all save Llane, and even that is disputed in some circles. Hel rumor has them brother and sister. We are on the south side of the gateway of souls, the portal that leads to hel. Litthsyss ensures that none escape or detour from their fate."

The cave filled with a sibilant hiss. "SSSSSSSSSS. Greetingsssss, lords. I trust the Queen is well?"

Fascinated, Obi-Wan went over to him. "Indeed, mighty Litthsyss. We are returned from a long journey, and send her salutations."

"SSSSSSS. It issss good. We haven't had the time to chat lately over soul tea."

"The realm is secure" Qui-Gon told him. He patted the giant scaly head. "How do you fare, uncle?"

The serpent bobbed. "Ohhh, jussssst well. Many silly souls have come through here lately. Some foolish mortalsss e'en thought to try their pale magicsss againsssst me. I did hurl them into the deepest abysssss."

Qui-Gon and his son exchanged looks. "Did they go by name of Dakkari?"

The serpentine head moved again. "Aye. Pathetic. For my coilsss can embrace infinity when necesssssary. Stupid fleasss. I rewarded their arrogance."

"Well served, mighty one" Obi-Wan told him. The snake captivated him no end. "We entertained them below. But I have a question."

"Do sssssay, young prince."

"This was my first journey home, as I was raised by mortals. When father and I changed, we crashed the Dakkari into the earth. They came here?"

"Yessss. And I may add, you make a lovely ssssserpent. Heritage alwayssss tellsss in the end. Why, your crimssson color most near puts me to ssshame."

Obi-Wan blushed at the compliment. "Thank you. But I was wondering...what about the blessed souls that go to the guardians?"

The great serpent tilted his head towards the sparkling universe beyond the gate. "Acrossss the mortal plane there, on the north side is the other gateway of ssssouls. There my counterpart greetssss them to a blissful existence. Her name isssss Alphaie, and ssssheee is a great golden tigresss whose eyes reflect light itself. The gateway to the north issss a winding garden path. Mosssst fragrant, so I hear."

"But you just watch the gate on this side? Seemingly you are too grand for such a station."

The snake hissed in laughter, coiling about Obi-Wan. "SSSSSSSSS. Youngling, I do more than guard thiss gate. For while Llane rulesssss hel proper and the inner dark, so do I rule the outer. I hurl soulsss and she catchesssss them."

Obi-Wan stroked the massive coils. "But still I don't understand. What precisely is the 'outer dark?'"

"That region known asss limbo, where tormented sssouls are not accepted by heaven nor acknowledged by hel. Thossse under my watch include the curssssed, wandering spirits, zombiessss and the walking dead."

"We didn't see any of those beings."

"You didn't visssit my realm. Outside of hel I rule, while Llane rules within."

"Uncle, I must see this sometime. But how to get to limbo from here?"

A forked tongue tickled his cheek. "When you firsst gain the helbridge, go up instead of down. There you will find a land of endlessss missst."

"I see" Obi-Wan was subdued.

Qui-Gon came alongside his son. "We've taken enough of your time, great one. Safe gatekeeping!"

"Hail, most impressive and beautiful one" Obi-Wan added.

The snake laughed, forked tongue in the air. "Ahhh, a pleasssssure. For I knew of this visit ere it was writ large. Safe journey to the mortal sphere!"

With startling agility and grace, the huge coils moved aside, allowing them passage. Seconds later they were flying in the void of space.

Urus was in sight. The devil gods quickly entered the atmosphere.

"It's good to be back" Obi-Wan said as they touched down in a park near their home.

"Obi-Wan!!"

Obi-Wan looked at himself. "Oops."

They were still garbed as hel lords. "We'd better change."

Qui-Gon made a gesture. "No kidding. Our neighbors would have us burned at the stake dressed like this."

Seconds later they wore mudane tech uniforms. Obi-Wan sighed, stretched.

"I'm beat."

Qui-Gon smiled at the love of his life. "Home it is, then."

They faded into nothingness.

Even in the deep sunset Obi-Wan could see the front lawn was overgrown.

"What the??"

Qui-Gon walked through the tall grass. Vines were all over everything.

"Well, we've got some yard work to do."

Obi-Wan pulled at a weed. "Just how long have we been gone?"

Qui-Gon opened the front door. "We'll find out soon enough."

They stepped inside. The floor was covered with junk mail that had been slipped through the drop slot.

Qui-Gon checked the latest post dates. "Hmm."

Obi-Wan picked up a few letters. "These are weeks old!"

"And so are we, apparently" Qui-Gon frowned at one letter in particular.

Jade eyes regarded him. "Don't tell me let me guess. A bill, right?"

Qui-Gon laughed heartily. "You got it! Force, this is hysterical. We journey to the highest level of being, the lowest order of existence, only to come back and have a past due water bill!!"

Obi-Wan chuckled. "From the mystic to the mundane. Somehow I have a feeling this is how it's going to be from now on."

Qui-Gon pulled his son into an embrace. His eyes glowed.

"My pride in you knows no bounds. For in any eyes you are the finest son any could ask for."

Obi-Wan panted. He felt tingly. "Whether Jedi or Hel lord, ever were you the best."

They fell down into a pile of mail. Qui-Gon laughed again.

"For the first time in my life, I feel so free. Our future and destiny are truly ours to choose."

Obi-Wan pulled at the monster braid. "For now, let's heat up the present."

THE END