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Summary: Qui-Gon's last letter to Obi-Wan.
Disclaimers: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren't mine, blah, blah,
blah.
Webpage: http://adult.dencity.com/rosalita1
Author's Notes: I don't normally write author's notes but I
felt that this piece needed a little explanation. I'll try to
keep it short. Originally written for a story I'm working on,
this piece hung on for dear life when the story took a sharp
left turn. It no longer fits, but I didn't want to just ditch
it, so I'm posting it. Yes, it's yet another letter left by
Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan. It follows from my story, "The Night Before
the End." Hope you like it.
Obi-Wan,
We have so little time. I long to wake you and make love to you
again, but I must write this letter. There are things I must
make you understand. Sleeping curled on your side wrapped in my
cloak, you look so much like the boy who wouldn't take no for
an answer. I am eternally grateful to that boy. For that boy
turned into the man you are.
I am not sure it was a kindness to make love to you when I know
it will be the last time. I hope you will forgive me. Perhaps I
am a selfish man, but I had to know what it was like to lie in
your arms just once before I pass into the Force.
I remember the precise moment that I fell in love with you. It
was during one of those tedious state dinners that we are
occasionally forced to attend. A senator from some outer world
was droning on about the importance of friendship between
planets or some such drivel. You were sitting opposite me,
appearing to listen with rapt attention, but I could tell you
were actually thinking about something else. I always meant to
ask you what it was. Too late now, I suppose.
I marveled at your ability to fake interest at such a young
age. It took me years to cultivate the appearance that I was
fascinated by whatever the speaker was saying. Then you looked
at me and gave me that little half smile of yours. I looked
away; I think I may have blushed. At my age! When I looked
back, you once again had turned your attention to the senator.
It hit me then. I loved you. I wanted you. You were 18, almost
19. Imagine my surprise and joy when I discovered you felt the
same way.
I waited so long for you. I would have waited longer, until
your knighting, had I not come to realize that I would not live
to see it.
I am not really sure how I know this. I just know strongly that
tomorrow I will die at the hands of that thing that attacked me
on Tatooine. I am so sorry, Obi-Wan. If I could spare you this,
I would. Apparently, I must die in order to set destiny in
motion. And you must witness it.
I did not tell you any of this because I was afraid you would
try to save me. It is imperative that you live. You and you
alone must train Anakin. The Council will raise objections.
Many will tell you that you are not ready. Do not listen to
them, love. If anyone else trains him, all will be lost
forever.
Yours will be a hard life, my love. One that I fear I have not
prepared you adequately for, and one that I would never want
for you. You must be strong. You can not change the future, but
know that you will be instrumental in bringing back the light.
I am sorry that I will not be there to live it with you, but
know that I will be waiting for you. Know that I will always be
with you.
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