Letter To The Lost

by Ewankenobi (PadawanEwan@aol.com)

Archive: MA . . . Any one else just let me know.

Rating: PG

Pairing: Q/O, O/B

Category: POV, Angst

Warnings: Get some chocolate and kleenex.

Spoilers: C'MON! If ya haven't seen ANH . . . gah!

Feedback: Welcomed.

Summary: Obi-Wan writes a letter to Bail. I suck at summaries.

Disclaimers: Lucas owns Star Wars. Padawan E still has no Ewan of her own. The poem is mine.

Notes: I'm sitting here writing a rather intense fic. I needed to blow off some of it. I was also feeling a bit sad. Since I wrote this as a letter, and it is short I didn't get it beta'd. As always thanks to my Master, just cause she rules.

My Lost Love,

I have just felt your death. I told Luke it was a million voices crying out. It was yours, I felt the loudest and sharpest.

So much, I have wanted to say. I was coming to you. I wanted to spend the last of my days with you. You held part my heart. You seemed accept that Qui-Gon held my soul. I did love you, as much as I was able. It wasn't enough sometimes. I knew you wanted and needed more. Would that I could have given you half the love you gave me.

Force, I desired you! You were so beautiful. I've held images of you in my mind. The way you looked when we made love. The love on your face for Leia. The sadness when you knew I was leaving. I have missed your wit, your honor, your commitment, all those things that just say Bail to me.

I sit here a supposed serene Jedi, inside I weep.

I know I am going to my end of this existance. I will join my Master in the Force. I will miss you there. I go to the Jedi, but I will not forget the very special part of my heart and life that you are.

My titles have been so varied, Master, Padawan, General and Jedi Knight. You always saw me as Ben.

I end this letter with a poem from my youth:

Lost Love
I miss you, you are gone.
How can I go on alone?
The days, empty and grey.
Why did I let you slip away?
Goodbye, my lost love my time is at an end.
Maybe in the next life we can begin again.

Goodbye Bail.

With love,

Ben