Disclaimer: Star Wars is the property of George Lucas. No
copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: What does it mean to truly pass into the Force?
Notes: My first SW fic for 2000! (The muse is back....) This
arose from discussions on M_A about the eventual fate of a Jedi
Force Ghost, based upon GL's script notes and "Heir to the
Empire."
Archive: M_A, my web page.
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/8356/fanfic.htm
Let go
The whisper wandered through the mists, the trees, barely
there, barely a presence; it was only the faintest of traces
but Obi-Wan heard it and he heard it again. Let go....
He perched on a rock and sighed wearily, feeling the ache of
the passing years within every bone of his body. Rationally,
Obi-Wan knew he shouldn't be feeling this way. He'd been dead
for a good few years now and death was supposed to be release,
relief, from the physical suffering.
Yet the suffering hadn't ended, no, he had struggled with his
student, his near-protege, his redemption, for years. Yoda
could not have tamed Luke alone. Obi-Wan's presence was
ultimately necessary. The Force demanded it.
The Force.
"What is it you hear, Obi-Wan?" Yoda's sage voice sounded in
his ear, and he turned, and where before there had been
emptiness, Yoda's corporeal form appeared.
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Nothing. A whisper, perhaps. No more
than that." He paused, sighing again. "I am an old man, Master
Yoda, and wont to hear things."
"Perhaps," Yoda agreed. His ears crinkled inwards. "Perhaps it
is the calling you hear."
Obi-Wan stood up in denial, longing for the days when such a
gesture would have been made with youthful vigour. "No!" he
objected. "I cannot give in to the Force." He rejected the
possibility with every fibre of his soul - after all this time,
how could he simply cease to exist? The years, the agonising
years on Tattooine had all been in preparation for his
death as he watched over Luke.
"Hold too tight to your identity, do you," Yoda said softly,
not pressuring his old friend but offering advice, insight.
"My identity is all I have left," Obi-Wan returned. He spun,
trying to maintain a glare. "Where is Anakin? I am sure he
would provide a more friendly ear than you."
Yoda imitated a shrug. "He sought out Amidala. Found her, I
suspect."
A dark shadow crossed Obi-Wan's face. And again, Let
go....
"I cannot let go!" he protested. "Luke is still so young. And
where would I go, how can I...."
"Your master embraced the Force."
"My master is dead," Obi-Wan said with more than a trace of
bitterness. "He didn't even try to hold on to himself, no, one
visit was all I was granted by the great Qui-Gon Jinn
before he gave himself up to the energies. And do you know what
he said to me?"
But Yoda had disappeared.
Obi-Wan shook his head, feeling the anger quickly dissipate
away. He was one with the Light and Dark thoughts had no place
here, they were impossible to maintain, even if the hurt was as
fresh as the day it had taken place.
One visit from Qui-Gon after his death. And then nothing.
Nothing but the raging pain of loneliness, and yes, the anger
at Qui-Gon for letting go so easily. His soul ached.
Reality shifted around Obi-Wan and he found himself on a
blue- green planet whose name he never knew. It was a peaceful
world, a place Obi-Wan had never visited when he lived, but
since his death, he'd been drawn to it, or more specifically,
drawn to a place. A grove of trees, each one strong and tall,
each one echoing with Light tremors of the Force.
He felt at home here. And remembering the whispered warnings,
he wondered if this was the place where he was supposed
to let go. Obi-Wan had spent many months here in quiet
meditation whilst Yoda trained Luke. The feeling of
helplessness as the galactic events spiralled well beyond his
control was somewhat diminished by the peace of the trees.
Let go....
"I'm not ready," he challenged, somewhat defiantly. "If I go
then who will remember the Jedi as they were? I am the last who
knows of what we went through - I am the last who believes in
midichlorians!" Without him, all the knowledge would be lost.
"I cannot go," Obi-Wan said again.
Does it matter? and Obi-Wan looked up, for the almost
voice was hauntingly familiar, and it made him pause. Did it
matter? If he released to the Force, if his knowledge was lost,
what would happen? Anakin was most likely already gone, for he
hadn't trained, and Yoda would not stay to mother Luke into
true Knighthood.
And if he, Obi-Wan stayed with Luke, the boy would never learn
to stand alone. Cycles, endless cycles of arguments, and who
was to say which was right and which was wrong? The voice of
counsel had long left Obi-Wan alone.
Obi-Wan sighed, this time in resignation, and noticed that the
trees were rippling fervently with blue energies. The Force had
never been so apparent to him before, so tangible, and as he
reached out, he saw the pale blue of his own fingers mesh with
it. The pull was undeniable, so strong, so frightening; Obi-Wan
could feel himself almost dissolving so he snatched his hand
away in denial.
Obi-Wan... and this time, the whisper was no longer that
of the Force, but almost of a dearly departed one, someone who
knew his name. Obi-Wan stared at the glowing tree and as he
did, he could almost see a shape in it, a face, an arm
extending synchronously with the warm wisp of a smile.
Let go.
And Obi-Wan reached out and took that hand, its blue fusing
with his own blue, until the strands of energy that were the
Force became mixed together, every non-corporeal atom becoming
mingled with that of the tree. The Force entangled him, merged
him with what was already there, and in his last seconds of
individual consciousness, Obi-Wan recognised it.
"Master," he thought, the word coloured with love and in his
mind he heard a gentle chuckle, "My Obi-Wan..." and their
reunion lasted only moments, but an eternity in the Force,
before consciousness was lost and became nothing more than the
molecules of two beings forever intertwined in the great
ribbons that bound the galaxy in love and light.
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