Archive: Master/Apprentice Archive yes, anyone else, just ask
first
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Spoilers: It's set post-TPM, so huge spoilers for that
Summary: Obi-Wan puts his Master's death out of his mind as he
begins training Anakin
Feedback: Yes please! After all, I don't make money from this.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, though sometimes I
wonder if they own me. I also don't make any money from this,
and in fact make very little at all, and a lot of that very
little goes to SW merchandise anyway. So please don't sue me.
Copyright 1999
Obi-Wan stared at the bright flames illuminating the room. The
whole scene seemed so unreal; in fact, the last few days had
been surreal, passing in a pink haze. From the moment he had
seen his Master fall at the end of the Sith's sword, everything
around him had slowed and grown slightly fuzzy, not unlike the
view through the pink security laser haze behind which he'd
watched the fight, helpless to do anything to change the
outcome.
At least he had taken care of the Sith Lord. He didn't like to
think revenge had anything to do with the sense of satisfaction
that came along with the memory of watching the surprise on the
tattooed face before he'd fallen. Qui-Gon had taught him better
than to worry about petty, destructive emotions like revenge.
To give into that emotion would dishonor his Master. And above
all, his greatest desire now was to honor the man in the
flames.
He could, however, take some satisfaction in the fact that they
had accomplished their mission. They had distracted the Sith
long enough for the Naboo rebels to take back their country.
The trade dispute had been settled--even if the negotiations
had ended up being longer, more costly and far more painful
than anyone could have imagined. But Qui-Gon had not died in
vain. That, at least, was some comfort.
He turned to look at the boy who was now his charge, his
Padawan, scarcely able to believe that he was now a Jedi
Knight, and was about to embark on a completely new life,
training a new generation in the ways of the Force. Any doubts
he had about his own abilities to stand up to the challenge he
quelled instantly, locking them away in his mind. If he could
not feel the doubts, no one around him would either. Not Master
Yoda or Master Windu...or the boy beside him.
"What will happen to me now?" the boy asked.
"The council have granted me permission to train you. You will
be a Jedi. I promise." For the first time since his Master had
fallen, Obi-Wan felt a little of the haze lifting. Despite the
nagging doubts, this must be the right path. It was the one
thing that was clear. He would train the boy. He would keep the
last promise he made to his Master. The last thing the man had
asked of him. His last concern had been for the boy's fate. He
had believed Obi-Wan to be the right person to train Anakin
Skywalker.
Who was he to question Master Qui-Gon Jinn?
Obi-Wan hovered in that state between sleeping and waking, his
mind automatically reaching out with the Force, searching for
his Master's presence. It was several seconds before his
subconscious realized the presence wasn't there. The faint buzz
of the Force resonating off the boy across the room was all
that met Obi-Wan as he opened his eyes, already steeling his
mind against the pain that crashed through him as he remembered
he was alone.
No, not alone. He no longer had his Master, but he had a
Padawan. And for him he had to be strong. Qui-Gon would expect
it. He turned his head to look at Anakin, asleep on a pallet on
the other side of the room. He concentrated on searching the
boy's feelings, trying to ascertain what obstacles he needed to
deal with before the boy could start training in earnest.
Anakin was years behind any other apprentice in the order.
Obi-Wan didn't doubt the boy could catch up. His natural
abilities with the Force were astonishing. He understood things
about it that had taken Obi-Wan years to learn, and then only
after careful manipulation by his Master.
He turned his thoughts resolutely away from Qui-Gon. He knew
the boy--no, his apprentice. He had to stop thinking of him as
simply "the boy." His apprentice could sense his emotions at
times. And the pain he felt if he allowed himself to think of
his own Master for even a short period of time...well, it
wasn't something a Master should inflict on his student, not
even just as an empathic feeling.
He would train him the same way Qui-Gon would have trained him.
The way Qui-Gon trained Obi-Wan himself. How he would do that
without thinking about Qui-Gon...that was something he still
had to figure out.
"No!" Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, no, no!"
Anakin's shoulders slumped. "But--"
"No buts. You have to do the exercise properly."
"I did. You told me to get the cloth out from under the rock."
"No, I told you to work your way down to the cloth one step at
a time. You have to listen to what's actually being said,
Anakin, you can't just take whatever meaning you choose to read
into it."
Anakin's eyes narrowed. "What difference does it make? Either
way the cloth is out from under the rock."
"Yes, but the exercise isn't about getting the cloth out. It's
how you go about it."
"I don't understand," the boy said, crossing his arms.
"When you are sent on a mission, you will have to listen very
carefully to what is said. Often the wording of a person's
request or demand holds the key to the course of action."
"But still either way the cloth is out."
"Yes, but the quickest route is often the most destructive."
"You should know," Anakin muttered.
Obi-Wan's frown turned into a scowl. "Excuse me?"
"Nothing, *Master*."
"If you have something to say, Anakin, it's best to say it. I
can't train you if you hide yourself from me." Obi-Wan watched
the boy try to decide, then sensed his mind shift to another
track before he spoke.
"Master Qui-Gon wouldn't have made me do something this
pointless."
"You think you knew him that well, do you?" Anakin nodded
uncomfortably, not looking nearly as certain as he tried to
appear. "This was one of the first exercises Master Qui-Gon
made me perform." Obi-Wan pushed the pain of saying his
Master's name deep down inside him and locked it off before
Anakin could sense it.
"And you got it the first time, right?" Anakin said, almost
managing to hide the sneer in his tone. Almost.
Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "No. It wasn't until the fourth time that
he told me exactly what I was doing wrong."
"And what did you do?"
"I told him I didn't see what difference it made how the cloth
got out," Obi-Wan responded, his smile widening a bit. "And
then, I did the exercise the way he told me."
Anakin made a production out of his sigh before he slowly began
setting up the rocks to repeat the exercise. He did the
exercise one rock at a time, then looked up at his Master
expectantly.
"That's enough for today," Obi-Wan said, the words out of his
mouth almost before he'd made the decision. "Before you get too
excited, I want you to work on your own lightsaber this
afternoon."
Anakin's excitement only increased at that statement. Building
things was something he knew he was good at. He enjoyed it so
much it hardly seemed like work. He took two steps to the
right, then remembered to turn and bow to his Master before
racing out of the room.
Obi-Wan smiled at the boy's enthusiasm. He knew the boy had
been attached to Qui-Gon, but he was still young enough to
overcome the feelings with distractions. When you were older
and had known the man longer, the distractions didn't work
nearly as well.
Not that it wasn't worth a try, he thought as he went to the
desk and sat down to outline his training for Anakin. Anything
that would banish the pain of what had happened was worth a
try.
He was finishing up the plan for the week when he felt a
strange disturbance in the Force. "Anakin," he whispered, as he
jumped up and ran out of the room. As he reached the lab, he
could smell smoke, scorched metal, and scorched skin. Anakin
was hunched over, holding his arm. Obi-Wan could sense his
struggle as he tried not to cry, but he could also sense that
the boy was in a great deal of pain.
"Here, now," he said as he knelt next to the boy. "What
happened?"
Anakin's voice was muffled by his arms. "I thought could
increase the power by making a little change in the design, but
when I tried to test the new wiring it fried it instead."
Obi-Wan looked up on the work bench surface. The casing of
Anakin's lightsaber lay open, black marks streaking the silver
metal in all directions. A quick examination of the wiring
showed that most of it was fused into one solid piece. It would
take some work to get it back in order.
"You know, it's usually a good idea to create a basic
lightsaber first, then make modifications as you get used to
the weapon."
"I know, Master, but while I was making it the idea came to me
and I figured why wait--"
"When there was a quicker way to accomplish what you wanted?"
Obi-Wan finished for him. Anakin blinked, then nodded. "Did you
learn nothing from our earlier exercise, Padawan?"
Anakin blushed. "I learned it at the time," he mumbled.
"It's not enough to learn the lesson. You must also learn how
it applies to other situations."
"Yes, Master," he said, head bowed.
Obi-Wan covered his smile as he remembered the many times he'd
said those same words in the same exact manner, and for
infractions much worse than Anakin's. "I'll bet that arm really
hurts."
Anakin nodded. "Worse than being burned by a pod engine."
"It appears the lessons aren't over for today after all."
Anakin glanced up in surprise. Obi-Wan pulled Anakin's burned
arm away from his protective embrace and examined it. "You
certainly did a good job burning yourself," he admonished
gently.
"At least I did something right."
Obi-Wan hid another smile. "Shall I teach you how to heal it?"
Anakin's eyes widened. "I can do that?"
"With time and practice, yes. For now I'll have to help you."
"What do I have to do?"
"Close your eyes." He waited until the boy complied. "First you
have to accept the pain. Welcome it."
Anakin's eyes popped open, his brow furrowing. "What?"
"Close your eyes," Obi-Wan ordered. His apprentice's eyes shut
quickly. "Welcome the pain. The pain is doing you a service by
letting you know that there is something wrong with your body.
Be grateful for it, because without it, you wouldn't know you
need to heal."
Anakin breathed in and out slowly as Obi-Wan searched the boy's
feelings, trying to ascertain whether or not he was doing as he
was told. When he was reasonably sure Anakin really was trying
to accept the pain, Obi-Wan continued. "Feel the Force around
you. Concentrate on gathering as much power from it as you can
and center it on the source of the pain in your arm."
He could feel the Force rippling around the boy. The strength
of it surprised him, since he had not had the ability to exert
that much control over the Force until he had been much older
than Anakin. But then if his Master had been right, and Anakin
really was born of the midi-chlorians, this was to be expected.
Obi-Wan felt Anakin's relief as the pain began to fade. He
noticed that the burn was beginning to heal. For anyone to be
able to even start the healing process on his own at this stage
was almost unheard of. Perhaps his Master had been right after
all.
His focus shifted back to his apprentice as he felt the boy's
power beginning to fade. His arm was not yet finished healing,
but Obi-Wan sensed that channeling the Force was taking its
toll on the boy. Carefully, Obi-Wan laid his hand on Anakin's
arm and added his own strength to finish the job.
When the arm was reasonably healed, Obi-Wan released Anakin's
arm and sat back on his heels. Anakin opened his eyes and
stared at his arm in wonder. "I did that?"
"Mostly," Obi-Wan acknowledged. "You showed a great ability for
using the Force, Anakin."
"Thank you, Master." He glanced at his arm again. "I had no
idea the Force could be used to take away pain."
"Not take the pain away. Use it to take care of the source."
Anakin blinked, then nodded. "Maybe...never mind."
"Didn't we talk earlier about secrets?"
The boy shifted uncomfortably under his Master's unrelenting
gaze. "I just wondered," he said, talking to his feet to avoid
Obi-Wan's eyes, "if the Force can heal my arm, can it take care
of...other pains too?"
Obi-Wan frowned, at first unable to sense what else was causing
Anakin pain. Then he realized the source, and had to fight at
the pain that engulfed him. He pushed it aside, but not away,
as he formed his answer carefully. "Physical wounds are easily
healed. Some others take more time. But yes, the Force can help
you, if you look to the light side of it."
Anakin nodded thoughtfully. "I see. I think."
"You'll understand in time," Obi-Wan said with a smile. "Now,
no more work today. You need to rest."
"But--"
"No buts. Healing yourself is an arduous task. And your arm
still isn't completely recovered. Go get cleaned up and then
take it easy the rest of the day."
He knew the boy was on the mend when he heaved a huge sigh,
then stood up. "Yes, sir," he said, remembering to bow this
time before he left the room.
Obi-Wan stared after him, his thoughts still on Anakin's
question. Had his apprentice unintentionally taught him a
lesson? He had been trying so hard to put Qui-Gon out of his
mind because it was simply too painful to remember his Master.
He'd told himself it was because he needed to keep his mind
clear to focus on Anakin, and that Anakin would be able to
sense his pain, but he hadn't been honest. He didn't want the
pain. The pain meant Qui-Gon really was gone. There was no way
to get him back.
It felt like a part of him had been ripped away. And like a
physical wound, it needed to heal. The pain had been trying to
tell him that. And he had ignored it.
Perhaps it was time he tried to turn some of his healing power
on himself.
The next morning, Obi-Wan waited until after breakfast before
he broke the news to Anakin. "I want you to spend a month at
the Jedi Academy."
"What?" Shock and confusion registered in the boy's eyes. "I'm
sorry about the lightsaber, Master, but--"
"It's not that, Anakin. I'm not trying to get rid of you. It's
only for a month."
"But what did I do?"
Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "You didn't do anything. This isn't about
you. You mentioned yesterday that you wished you could use the
Force to heal other pains. You were referring to the loss of
your mother and Master Qui-Gon?"
The boy's surprise increased as he nodded. "How did you know?"
"Because I feel Master Qui-Gon's loss on many levels. It's not
difficult to see that in others when you're feeling it so
clearly yourself."
"You wish to send me away because I remind you of that?"
"No. I need to be alone for a while. I need to heal myself
before I can properly take on the responsibility of training
you." Anakin still looked suspicious. "Don't worry, Padawan. I
will be back. I promised you I would train you and that you
would be a Jedi. I don't go back on my promises."
Anakin's back stiffened. "I don't want to be a responsibility."
"Training anyone in the Jedi arts is a responsibility. And also
a privilege." He put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You are
going to make a fine Jedi one day, Anakin. Any small part I can
have in that will be an honor."
His apprentice finally looked convinced. "When do we leave?"
"This afternoon. Master Yoda is going to keep an eye on you
while you're at the Temple."
Some of the boy's enthusiasm waned. "Master Yoda?"
Obi-Wan forced himself not to laugh. "He is a hard taskmaster,
but you will find him fair and honest. You should pay close
attention to what he says."
He thought of Yoda's disapproval of Anakin's training, and how
Yoda's criticism might affect the boy. "And do not be offended
if you think he is slighting you. I assure you, he would not do
that. If you think he is, more likely it is something within
you that you should examine more closely. You will learn a
great deal in the next month."
"Yes, Master."
"Now go pack. And I want to see a functioning lightsaber when I
return to the temple in a month."
A hint of a smile appeared at the corner of Anakin's mouth.
"Yes, Master," he repeated, then he bowed and left the room.
Obi-Wan watched him leave, then went to stare out the window.
He had given himself a month to move past the pain of losing
Qui-Gon. A month to remember, to honor the memories, then
relegate them to a place in his heart where he could pull them
out from time to time without feeling like he'd lost a limb.
Then he would turn himself to the future. To the last task
assigned to him by his Master. He would train Anakin Skywalker.
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