ARCHIVE: Master_Apprentice only. Anyone else interested in
archiving this story, please contact me.
CATEGORY: A/U ('IT' never happened), Angst, First-Time and
Hurt/Comfort in that this is the comfort before an unavoidable
hurt.
RATING: NC-17 for graphic m/m sex
WARNINGS: Only for the sex. There is a mention of the rather
strong posibility of massive hurt, including rape in the
future, but nothing graphically described.
SUMMARY: Obi-Wan spends one night with his master before
leaving on an important but very dangerous mission.
FEEDBACK: Okay, I'm not trying to be cheeky, but if I didn't
care what you thought of it, would I show it to you? I write
tons of stuff just for myself, but this I wrote for the list,
so please let me know what you think. I want the very honest
good, bad and ugly. On list or off, where ever you can be
honest. Thanks.
THANKS TO: My beta readers who went over this in various stages
- Katey, Mac and Cyn. And to Sockii for making this list the
kind of place I feel safe posting to. For those who don't know
me, I've not posted to a mailing list in over a year and a half
and that was to a very private list. So I guess I owe thanks to
everyone for making this such a great place.
In a place where that won't let us feel
In a life where nothing seems real
I have found you
I have hound you
In a world that's moving to fast
In a world where nothing can last
I will hold you
I will hold you
Our lives will change when tomorrow comes...
...So stay with me
and hold me tight
and dance
Like it's the last night of the world
from the musical Miss Saigon
Obi-Wan sat staring a small brook that ran through the Jedi
Gardens. He was sitting on a large stone that was half
submerged in the bank soil that fed and supported the trees and
plants that gave Coruscant it's only patch of greenery. It was
his favorite place to think. Had been since he'd been a young
child.
He was still felt an overwhelming surge of relief every time he
felt his master approach. Qui-Gon was still healing from their
encounter with the Sith, but aside from lingering muscle
soreness and the occasional nightmare, he was almost completely
healed.
For the first time since that battle, Obi-Wan wasn't entirely
sure he wanted to see his master. 'Former master,' he reminded
himself. The Council had accepted all that had happened on
Tatooine and Naboo as his trials and had held his Elevation
ceremony as soon as Qui-Gon had healed enough to attend and
perform his part. It had only been ten or eleven days, but to
Obi-Wan it had felt like months. Waiting to see what kind of
lingering effects a lightsaber through his master's body would
have; waiting to see what his life would be like without the
other man at his side.
And then the Council had approached him with this mission. On
top of that they compounded the level of his distress by
allowing him to decline the mission with no ill-feelings. He
was used to following orders. He questioned - more than was
strictly good for him Qui-Gon occasionally teased - but did as
he was told. He wasn't prepared to make a decision of this
magnitude.
"Padawan?" Qui-Gon sat on the ground next to Obi-Wan's stone.
Obi-Wan grinned a little at the title. It had always been
something of an affectionate term between them. Regardless of
if it was used kindly or in rebuke, it let Obi-Wan know that he
held a special place in his master's heart. Obi-Wan had been
glad when Qui-Gon neither dropped it from his vocabulary
entirely, nor corrected himself after using it. They had come
to silent agreement that Obi-Wan would always be Padawan to
Qui-Gon.
"You've been upset most of the day, do you want to talk about
it?" Qui-Gon asked quietly.
Obi-Wan sighed. He wasn't sure he should be telling Qui-Gon
about this yet. Most people were still tip-toeing around him,
letting him recover from his own ordeal. But he supposed that
not telling him would probably lead to an even greater sense of
worry, since the mind tended to come up with much worse
scenarios than the true situation if left to imagine. Only in
this case, Obi-Wan wasn't sure if that was possible. He hedged.
"I thought the Council tried to pick a first assignment that
would... allow a new Knight to distinguish themselves.
Something that would help them to make their Jedi career their
own, separate from their teachers'."
Qui-Gon nodded. "When possible. Sometimes there are no such
missions available that would allow for that. Sometimes the
particular skills of a new Knight are needed in a less...
auspicious setting. Which is the case for you, Padawan?"
Obi-Wan sighed and rolled to his stomach, laying over the rock,
letting his fingers trail in the water. "I've been asked if I
would accept... a rather... difficult mission. I'm assured I
can decline it if I do not feel ready to handle this sort of
thing so soon after my Knighting, but ten days or ten years, I
don't know if I'll be ready for something like this."
"What's happened, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked gently.
"The Council is attempting to plant someone inside the
Chetner'phanta Organization. They've asked me to ... pose as a
potential initiate to find out who is running the new slaver
ring that seems to be preying on children" A small fish had
swum up to him and was letting Obi-Wan stroke it's scales.
Qui-Gon felt himself pale. The Chetner'phanta were one of the
most organized and most feared crime rings in the known galaxy.
No one knew who was actually in the organization, but there
were rumors of everyone from Republic Senators to planetary
government leaders to pirates and traders. They were
notoriously difficult to find - for both those trying to stop
them and those trying to join them. What little information had
come out was mostly from failed applicants, who had barely
managed to tell the stories of what their hazing had been like
before gratefully surrendering to death. Stories of torture,
rape, and of forcing the initiates to do the same had been
hideous enough that embellishment hadn't been necessary to
repulse anyone on the Light side and to convince the Senate to
get the Jedi involved.
"Obi-Wan, do you know what the Chetner'phanta Organization
requires of it's initiates?" Qui-Gon's voice had lowered until
it reflected the same sadness that Obi-Wan's had.
"I know enough. I don't think I want to know the rest. But I
keep asking myself if it isn't part of Jedi nobility to
sacrifice myself if it means saving children from having to
make the sacrifice themselves, without choice, without
knowledge of what will happen to them." The fish had gotten
bored and continued down the brook. For an unfathomable reason,
Obi-Wan missed its company. It took several minutes for him to
realize what was happening to him.
In his heart he'd all ready accepted to mission. His head was a
little slower to wrap around the idea, but was gradually
getting there. He couldn't live with himself if he'd let these
atrocities continue while knowing he could have played an
instrumental part in stopping them. What he knew he would soon
be missing was something as simple as a fish, a brook, a tree.
A concerned glance from a friend. The comforting hand that was
now resting on his shoulder. He would be stuck, for an
indeterminate amount of time in a place so dark and emotionally
bereft that he knew he would be forever changed the moment he
stepped foot on whatever cargo transport, moon or other
desolate place the Chetner'phanta was currently using to 'break
in' their initiates. He was all ready starting to miss himself.
The self he was now. He wasn't sure he wanted to meet the
person he was about to become.
"I ... I have to do what needs to be done... But I ... I'm
terrified of what it will mean for me," Obi-Wan confessed to
his master.
"Would they send you alone?" Qui-Gon asked quietly.
Obi-Wan nodded. "It would look far too suspicious for a number
of young men and women to suddenly show up and try to align
themselves with a group of people most people fear even passing
on the streets. And..." Obi-Wan had to take long deep breaths
before he could say the rest, "They do not wish to subject any
more people than necessary to the... damage... the
Chetner'phanta subject their initiates to."
Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder tightly. He spoke
carefully, knowing that he could convince Obi-Wan to decline
the mission with just one word. This decision must truly be his
alone. "No one will force you to willingly subject yourself to
rape and torture. Not the Council, and certainly not me. The
Chetner'phanta are very selective of who they will accept into
their ranks. I can only think of one or two others among the
Jedi who would meet their requirements, as we understand them.
In my opinion, only you have the inner strength necessary to
survive a mission like this."
Obi-Wan nodded silently and began to trail his fingers in the
water again. Qui-Gon moved close and began rubbing his
student's - his friend's - back.
Obi-Wan's voice had dropped so low that Qui-Gon had to strain
to hear him. "I appreciate the faith you place in me, Master."
He took several deep breaths before adding, "I keep thinking
that ... perhaps if I had... had been with another man before
this had to happen, it wouldn't be so frightening." He blushed
at his own weakness and hid his face in his arms.
Qui-Gon lifted him bodily - using the Force to bolster his own
returning strength - and held him on his lap. Obi-Wan didn't
even feign strength. He leaned into his master's warm shoulder,
feeling the soft fabric of his tunic, listening to the
heartbeat that had come all too close to stopping.
For a long time they just sat there clinging to each other.
Neither bringing up the subject that they'd learned to leave
alone more than six years ago, though this might be the first
chance for them to face it, and the last chance to do anything
about it. Obi-Wan had been nineteen when he finally admitted
that his feelings for his master ran somewhat deeper than was
particularly appropriate for a Padawan and his master. They'd
been on a beautiful forest moon, searching out Force-adepts in
the local population when Obi-Wan felt that he needed to clear
the air before he embarrassed himself.
For two days he carefully composed his words for his master.
He'd told him of feelings, but that he understood that they
were inappropriate for them to share any other kind of
relationship beyond Teacher/Student. And he ferverantly prayed
that he wouldn't be patted on the head like a cute little
Padawan and laughed off.
Why he ever doubted his master, he wasn't sure. Qui-Gon had
listened patiently and then taken his smaller hand gently
between larger ones. "It takes a great level of maturity to
confront your feelings when you know they cannot be made
manifest. But I will suggest that perhaps when it would not be
inappropriate, we should consider having this conversation
again."
Obi-Wan had fallen forward, toward Qui-Gon's larger form, limp
with relief at the compassion he'd be shown. And then Qui-Gon
had hugged him tightly and said, "And there is another level of
relationship that I would be honored to share with you while
also still your teacher - that of friendship."
Obi-Wan had been too overcome to attempt to speak then. He just
hugged Qui-Gon back tightly and watched over the next few weeks
as their relationship transformed. Obi-Wan was rarely
introduced as "my apprentice" after that, but as "Jedi Kenobi"
or "my companion," allowing people to think them equals. And
their friendship had grown. Enough so that Obi-Wan was easily
able to live with the fact that the more physical parts of the
relationship were not allowed. What he had was enough.
But knowing that Qui-Gon cared for him in the same way he cared
for his master, kept him from taking a male lover. He'd been
with women, on occasion, but despite the fact Obi-Wan and
Qui-Gon would not be allowed to express themselves the way they
wanted to each other, they still remained true to each other.
Then, less than twenty days ago, Obi-Wan's world had nearly
been cut apart by the hands of a Sith Lord. Since then things
had changed so rapidly that they hadn't had time to even think
of the status of their relationship. Let alone changing it.
Obi-Wan's eyes drifted closed, but he did not sleep. He lay
still in Qui-Gon's arms, soaking up the comfort he would so
desperately crave soon. Qui-Gon was stroking his hair and
whispering soothingly. Obi-Wan almost didn't hear the quiet
question.
"Obi-Wan? Are you asking? Because if you are, I accept."
Obi-Wan looked up at his master through huge, bloodshot, glassy
eyes. "I didn't mean to ask, master."
Their master/apprentice bond had only faded slightly. Qui-Gon
knew that Obi-Wan didn't dislike the idea, but felt that he was
making himself a burden.
"It's your decision, Obi-Wan. I'll be in my quarters after
evening meal... should you choose to join me."
They sat in the gardens for another hour, watching the fish and
the occasional amphibian. Not speaking. Not even moving much.
Just sharing quiet companionship.
Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan trying to capture it. To store it
for his long journey ahead.
Qui-Gon finally took pity on Obi-Wan. He could feel Obi-Wan
standing outside the door, trying to find the strength to
actually press the chime. After more than five minutes, Qui-Gon
finally went to the door and opened it.
Obi-Wan stood there looking sheepish and scared. Qui-Gon led
him in by the hand and sat him on the couch. "Tea?"
Obi-Wan blinked at the non-sequiter. He hadn't exactly come for
tea and cookies. He nodded numbly.
Qui-Gon set the tray of tea on the low table near the couch and
prepared Obi-Wan's for him. He handed him the warm cup and
prepared his own. When it was clear that Obi-Wan wasn't about
to start a conversation, he moved to sit next to him. Small
talk would have been counter-productive, so Qui-Gon got
straight to the heart of the matter. "I can't help what will
happen after you leave here tomorrow, Obi-Wan, but I won't be
any part of it. I need to know that anything that happens here
tonight is because you want it. We won't explore the reasons
now, we both know them well enough. But I want you to have a
safe place to return to when this is all over. Do you
understand?"
Obi-Wan nodded and let his head drop back against the couch. He
was way too wound up for this. Since he'd been in his early
teens, he'd known the basics, and he'd spent several hours that
afternoon researching the rest. He knew that he was going to
have to learn to relax himself - in ways he'd not really
thought about before - if he didn't want to get torn apart. He
leaned forward and took another sip of his tea. And this was
with his master. The man who just told him that he refused to
hurt him. What would it be like to walk into a situation where
he'd be all but asking someone to hurt him?
Qui-Gon set his tea cup on the table and pulled Obi-Wan close.
He ruffled the still short hair and found it to be slightly
damp. He smiled. Obi-Wan had thought this through. Knew what he
was asking for by showing up this evening. "We're going to take
our time, Obi-Wan. We have all night. I've asked around - your
ship leaves a few hours after sun-up. You have a four day
journey to rest. We must take this slow. I will not hurt you."
Obi-Wan leaned towards his master, letting his head fall
against Qui-Gon's shoulder. Qui-Gon gently kissed the top of
his head. "Do you want to go get in bed? I'll join you as soon
as I get the tea things put away."
Obi-Wan took a deep breath and steeled himself. Just as he was
about to rise, Qui-Gon reached up and gently touched his face.
It was the most intimate touch Obi-Wan had ever known from his
master.
"There is no point of no return, Obi-Wan. No point at all. Am I
understood?" Qui-Gon asked firmly.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said formally.
"Good," Qui-Gon said quietly and tipped Obi-Wan's head up, and
kissed his lips lightly. "Go climb in bed, I'll be there
shortly."
Obi-Wan set his tea cup on the tray, stood and went into his
master's bedroom, grateful for the few minutes alone. He looked
around the room through the pinpricks of light coming in
through the window. He had the room memorized, but felt the
need to take a last look around. While not being called a
suicide mission as such, Obi-Wan knew that there were
significant reasons to take a last look. To say good-bye to
those he cared about before he left.
Though Padawans had their own quarters in a nearby section of
the Temple, Qui-Gon had found a futon somewhere and procured
extra sheets and blankets for it for the nights Obi-Wan studied
too late or worked out too hard to make it home before falling
dead asleep. When not in use, it slid neatly under his master's
bunk, but the sheets and blankets were kept on it.
Obi-Wan had been just about to turn fourteen when that it had
shown up in his master's quarters. He hadn't known anything
about it, until he woke up on it, tucked under the blankets.
He'd been up most of the night studying as many trade
negotiation reports as he could find as he prepared for his
oral exam in his Advanced Diplomacy class the next morning.
It was the sort of thing that was barely spoken of. Obi-Wan had
simply learned that if he fell asleep while studying with his
master, that was more than likely where he'd wake up. He'd
always felt a bit embarrassed to admit how much he liked the
way his master took care of him, helping him get part-way
undressed and tucked under the covers. Usually without waking
him.
He had noticed over the years, that Qui-Gon tended to set the
trundle bed whenever Obi-Wan had gotten up just in time to run
to class or to the gym, instead of stripping it and putting the
blankets on a shelf or in a closet. It made him feel welcome.
It made him feel safe.
Not long after the futon had appeared he and Qui-Gon had been
assigned a rather difficult diplomatic assignment that had
failed utterly and messily. Obi-Wan hadn't ever had nightmares
like he did once they'd returned from that mission. It was
several hours after midnight on their first night home when
Obi-Wan could no longer stand the isolation of his own rooms.
He'd crept quietly into Qui-Gon's quarters and found the bed
pulled out and covers turned back. And for the next half dozen
nights, when the nightmares set in, a large warm hand would
reach down and rub his back until he fell asleep again.
Shaking himself from his thoughts, Obi-Wan began to undress.
With great care he folded his tunics and pants and set them on
the soft yellow and blue blanket that covered the futon. His
boots were tucked under the edge of the bed. He stood there for
several seconds before sliding under Qui-Gon's green quilt. It
felt odd to be laying in his master's bed, instead of his
smaller one on the floor. Sure, he'd had a few daydreams of
being in this place, for this purpose... but this wasn't how he
ever imagined them coming together.
Qui-Gon tapped quietly on the doorframe before coming in,
announcing himself. Obi-Wan sat up against the pillows, pulling
the blanket up to be sure it came at least to his waist.
Qui-Gon had undressed in the bathroom and donned a light robe
before coming in. He left the lights off too, as he slipped out
of the robe and lay it over the chair near the bed.
Obi-Wan kept his eyes fastened on the hem of the blanket.
Qui-Gon sat on the edge of the bed and took Obi-Wan's chin in
his hand. "You can look, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan blushed a little, but did look up at his Master. The
moonlight gave his skin a bluish-white pallor that should have
left him looking sickly, but only made him look ethereal.
Obi-Wan could see the contours of muscles in strong thighs and
arms, the darker outline of hair loose from it's leather
confine. It was nearly enough to make him forget their
circumstance. Nearly.
Qui-Gon set a small bottle and small towel on the night table.
He slid under the covers, next to Obi-Wan, but keeping a
discreet distance. "I'll only say this once more, but I need
you to know that this is important to me. If you change your
mind, you only need to tell me. I know we talked about coming
together like this, but never under these circumstances. I
won't be offended if you decide this isn't the way you want to
do this."
It was the second time his master had told him that. Qui-Gon
had never been the sort to repeat himself. He expected to be
heeded the first time. It made Obi-Wan worry. "Don't do this
just for me," he whispered. "Tell me you're here because you
want to be."
"Very much, Obi-Wan. Very much." And with that decided, Qui-Gon
pulled him close and kissed him gently.
The tender contact ignited something in Obi-Wan. Something that
was very determined to make the kind of memories that would see
him through the ordeal to come. He responded to the kiss with
much more passion than Qui-Gon had started it with. He pushed
himself up onto one elbow for leverage and pushed his master
onto his back. Qui-Gon completed the movement by wrapping his
arms around Obi-Wan's waist and pulling him on top of his own
body.
Obi-Wan was startled at the sudden intimate touch, but was
quickly lost again in the feel of soft beard rubbing against
his cheek and lips. The contact was electrifying. Obi-Wan had
always liked Qui-Gon's beard. That and the long hair gave him
such a distinguished look. Made him look ... roguish and at the
same time trustworthy, friendly. And the way it felt... so
soft. Obi-Wan groaned and as soon as his lips parted, Qui-Gon
was there, sliding just the tip of his tongue between them.
Obi-Wan slipped his hand under his master's head, wrapping his
fingers in silk-textured hair. Their kisses became deeper and
more frantic. Qui-Gon's hand slid over Obi-Wan's back and neck
until he too had tangled his fingers in his lover's hair. After
a few more passionate kisses, Qui-Gon pulled back. "Easy,
Obi-Wan. We're in no hurry." He smiled gently and began to
trace Obi-Wan's features with his fingertips. Obi-Wan closed
his eyes, delighting in the feather-light caresses.
He was stretching cat-like into the touches when Qui-Gon
gripped him once again and rolled them both until their
positions were reversed. Now free to run his fingers through
his master's long hair, Obi-Wan gently finger-combed out a few
tangles and then continued to just card his fingers through
heavy mass.
Qui-Gon was kissing his way across Obi-Wan's smooth jaw. Up to
his ear and back down along his throat. Obi-Wan arched into the
little licks and nips that punctuated the exploration.
As Qui-Gon gently explored Obi-Wan's chest, he could feel
Obi-Wan's penis against his stomach. Still soft, it was warm
and pliant, shifting with each breath Qui-Gon took against it.
He slid his arms under Obi-Wan's waist and pulled them down
until he had raised his apprentice's hips against him. At the
same time, he began a light, teasing awakening of one nipple.
Obi-Wan heard a little mewl of pleasure escape from his chest
as he twisted and shivered against the dual assault. His nipple
hardened almost instantly, and his cock began to do the same.
Qui-Gon felt the warmth against his stomach flush and then
surge, growing against him. He licked a path across to the
other nipple and began the same slow, delicate treatment. As he
continued to manipulate the one nipple with his mouth, he
pulled one hand out from under his Padawan to twist and tug at
the other. Obi-Wan threw his head back and moaned. Loudly.
Qui-Gon smiled at the unabashed sound. Taking it as
encouragement, he began to slide further down Obi-Wan's body,
gently pinching the smooth skin with his teeth, while his hand
continued to do the same to one hard nipple.
Obi-Wan had known a few women who would take him the way he
most enjoyed and it seemed that Qui-Gon was willing to do that
for him too. He forced himself to be calm and wait for it.
Qui-Gon was licking and sucking on the hard protrusion of his
left hip bone, moving steadily across the ridge with teeth and
tongue. His hands finally slid from where they were to rub
sensuously down strong, corded thighs.
Having never been terrifically shy in bed, Obi-Wan was almost
ready to ask for what he wanted, when he thought Qui-Gon was
moving to give it to him. He groaned in frustration when
Qui-Gon simply shifted and began to taste and stroke his right
hip and leg. "Please..."
He could feel Qui-Gon's smile against the sensitive crease
where his leg and body joined. The soft skin there was easily
tickled by the shifting of his master's beard. Obi-Wan spread
his legs even wider, begging silently with his body.
Qui-Gon continued to explore until he found the soft, heavy
sack of his Padawan's testicles. He sucked one into his mouth
and rolled it gently with his tongue while still pinching and
rubbing one hard nipple. Obi-Wan pushed his legs even further
apart and arched, his breath coming in fast, audible gasps.
Afraid that Obi-Wan was about to hyperventilate, Qui-Gon
shifted to a position that he could maintain comfortably for a
while. Obi-Wan collapsed against the sheets when his master's
mouth deserted him, slowing his breathing.
His respite was short lived though, and he closed his eyes and
surrendered to the warm heat that finally surround his
straining erection. His sigh was more of relief than anything,
his orgasm swelling inside him quickly.
Qui-Gon felt the butterflies of pleasure begin to course
through Obi-Wan's mind through their bond. He released
straining organ and lay his head on one well muscled thigh.
Before Obi-Wan could complain that he was being neglected, left
on the edge, Qui-Gon began to cover the shaft in tender little
kisses.
Obi-Wan felt like he was going to implode before he was allowed
his release. The soft kisses threatened to be his complete
undoing. He had a sudden, unwelcome, memory of why they were
doing this now. A fair portion of his ardor cooled as he
thought about leaving this incredible place, this incredible
person and walking into hell.
Qui-Gon felt the shift in his Padawan's attention and quickly
shifted to reclaim both his attention and his body.
Obi-Wan arched again, digging his head into the pillow and his
heels into the blanket as he felt Qui-Gon's soft beard tickle
his thighs and balls. He couldn't contain himself as strong
throat muscles began to work the head of his penis while an
incredibly agile tongue worked itself around his length.
Qui-Gon continued to work him as he felt the world coalesce
into a bright light in Obi-Wan's mind. He swallowed everything
Obi-Wan offered him and then cradled him gently in his warm
mouth as his apprentice softened and relaxed.
After several long minutes, Qui-Gon crawled up and pulled
Obi-Wan into his arms, cradling him softly against his chest.
"How do you feel?" Qui-Gon asked at length.
"Inarticulate?" Obi-Wan ventured.
"Relaxed?" Qui-Gon asked in return.
"Mm...yes."
"Roll over."
Obi-Wan felt a shiver of anxiety wiggle from his gut to his
heart. He rolled onto his stomach, pulling a pillow around on
angle to rest both his chest and head on.
"Close your eyes and remember how good you just felt. Focus on
that. This can feel just as good, maybe even better, if you
relax and let it." Qui-Gon continued to whisper quiet words of
support and affection as he reached for the small bottle on the
night stand.
Obi-Wan tensed as a small splash of cool oil landed on his
bottom. He was prepared for Qui-Gon to get straight to the
point, but instead found himself relaxing under a strong
massage of his gluteal muscles. He'd just found that quiet
relaxed place he'd been in just after his orgasm when one
finger slid over his entrance.
By now Obi-Wan was too relaxed to tense at the idea of immanent
penetration. Qui-Gon was always careful with him. Even when
he'd been much younger and Qui-Gon had been teaching him more
dangerous lightsaber moves and acrobatics, Qui-Gon had always
taken great care to be sure that Obi-Wan hadn't been hurt. He
wouldn't let anything happen now.
He felt Qui-Gon's finger graze over the small entrance over and
over again. He was snuggled quite comfortably into his pillow
when more of the cool oil was poured over Qui-Gon's hand and it
dripped onto his skin.
Now he knew what was next. He could feel his muscles prepare to
tense, but forced them to remain soft and loose. He bit the
inside of his lip as the very tip of one large finger pressed
into him. It wasn't precisely painful, but it was a little
uncomfortable.
The finger withdrew slowly and carefully and Obi-Wan shivered
when a gentle kiss was pressed into the small of his back.
"Raise up, love. On your knees. It'll be easier this way."
Obi-Wan let Qui-Gon guide him into position, like he had shown
him hundreds of fighting stances and moves, until his head and
shoulders rested on the pillow he'd commandeered and his knees
were tucked up under his chest. He felt much more open and
exposed like this. He supposed it would make the penetration
easier, but he felt...vulnerable. A feeling he had never much
cared for.
Again, Qui-Gon slid his hands over Obi-Wan's back and bottom
before he focused again on the tight muscle he was working on.
He poured more oil onto all ready slick skin and gently but
firmly committed himself to the action.
Obi-Wan sucked in a sharp breath and held it as he felt the
first deep penetration of his master's finger. One steady push
had brought Qui-Gon into him up to the second knuckle. It was
tight, but made infinitely more bearable by the generous amount
of oil Qui-Gon was using.
Qui-Gon began rocking his finger just the tiniest bit. Up and
down, in and out, side to side. Small, barely perceptible
motions at first, but after a minute or so, Qui-Gon felt just
the slightest give in the tight muscle, it was enough for him
to slide his finger in all the way.
Obi-Wan let out a startled gasp as Qui-Gon's finger slipped in
and something started a nuclear melt-down in his brain. "Was
that..."
Qui-Gon laughed quietly at the startled question. "Yes. Should
I take that to mean you liked it?"
Obi-Wan snickered at the wise-ass question. "It's... different.
Good."
Qui-Gon pulled back slightly and then sought that place once
more. Several more strokes and he felt the loosening of the
muscle that would be necessary for him to move things along.
"Are you ready for more?" he asked quietly, leaning down to
brush a kiss across the oiled skin.
Obi-Wan nodded against the pillow.
Qui-Gon pulled out and re-entered with two fingers. Obi-Wan had
relaxed under the tender ministrations and quickly grew
accustomed to the greater girth inside him. Qui-Gon continued
to gently stroke in and out. Teasingly touching or not touching
Obi-Wan's prostrate, keeping him guessing, keeping him wanting
more. As he went, he began to gently scissor his fingers,
stretching the untried passage a tiny bit more each time.
Obi-Wan was panting from the new arousal his master had
produced in him by the time Qui-Gon pressed in gently with
three fingers. Even with the new layer of oil poured over them,
this was tight. Too tight. Slightly painful... "Master!"
"Easy Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon soothed before his Padawan could get
too tense, before he could undo all they'd done in getting him
relaxed. "You'll adjust. Just like before. Let yourself relax
into it. " Qui-Gon continued the gentle words as well as the
gentle strokes until Obi-Wan had once more relaxed and started
falling into rhythm again.
As he continued to stroke Obi-Wan's insides, he reached down
with his other hand and began to pull on his own half-awake
penis. Watching his hand slide in and out of Obi-Wan's body,
focusing on how tight the passage was helped him quickly ready
himself for the final step.
Qui-Gon withdrew his hand and wiped the excess oil off on the
towel. He draped himself over Obi-Wan's back, covering him, and
wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's chest, holding him tight. His
now-ready penis bobbed against Obi-Wan's ass. "Are you ready?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"Good." Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan's shoulder, gently biting the
protrusion of bone there until Obi-Wan moaned. "Remember, the
key to all of this is relaxing yourself. Lean into the Force if
it helps you. If there's any pain tell me. But then let it go
into the Force. And don't be afraid to show me what you feel.
No matter what that might be."
Obi-Wan nodded again as Qui-Gon pulled himself up and knelt
behind him. He took a deep breath and reached out for the Force
to give him an extra layer of calm.
He expected to be terrified. He'd managed to periodically push
circumstance from his mind, but now it was front and center.
And yet still he felt... calm... and excited. Qui-Gon had
always been attractive to him. Since he could remember having
interests of that sort he knew he wouldn't have resisted any
overtures his master might make towards him. But when he was
old enough that the issue had been serious enough between them,
he knew why they had to wait. But being mature enough to accept
the reasons didn't mean that he stopped appreciating the strong
body, handsome features and graceful movements of Qui-Gon Jinn.
He'd long hoped that when he was finally ready for this - the
most personal, most intimate sexual act - that it would be his
master he could share it with. And now hellish circumstances
had conspired to make a dream come true.
Warm hard skin, slick with what felt like a half inch thick
coating of oil was sliding up and down his ass. Finally there
was a pause as Qui-Gon lined himself up with his entrance and
pressed in. Slowly.
When Obi-Wan hissed and started to tense, Qui-Gon wanted to
withdraw. To tell Obi-Wan that trying to learn all of this in
one night was perhaps, not the wisest course of action. That
this was an act that should be led up to slowly. Unfortunately
they didn't have the luxury of time. He had to trust Obi-Wan to
tell him if this wasn't what he wanted, if it was too
uncomfortable, if it was the wrong time and the wrong way for
them to come together. He just had to hope that it wouldn't be
their only chance.
That thought brought sudden tears to his eyes and he had to
force those thoughts back. More than anything else, Obi-Wan
needed his strength tonight.
Focusing instead on the smooth, hard body in front of him,
around him, he pressed the head of his cock into Obi-Wan's
body. Obi-Wan gasped again. "Breathe, Obi-Wan. Breathe and
relax. Give everything else to the Force. "
He held still until he felt Obi-Wan gather the Force, take a
deep breath and release the discomfort and lingering
nervousness into the Force. He was much more calm and pliant
when Qui-Gon began to inch slowly inside him.
Obi-Wan was tight. Hot, tight, slick and right. Qui-Gon thought
he would want to pound into such a wonderful feeling, but
knowing what that would do to his Padawan kept his own libido
firmly in check. He slid slowly in, careful to graze Obi-Wan's
prostate as he did so, until he was completely ensheathed.
Obi-Wan groaned as he felt his master snuggled against his back
and backside. "Is that... are you... all the way in?" He hated
having to ask, but needed to know. He felt stretched, but not
to the point where he didn't like it. Though he doubted he
could take much more.
"Yes," Qui-Gon whispered against his back.
They remained that way for a few minutes before Obi-Wan began
to shift a little. Qui-Gon took the hint and began to slowly
slide back out. Out a little, in a little, out a little more...
Later, after it was all over, Obi-Wan would decide that the
Force was orchestrating their movements. He'd never fallen into
synch with another lover so fast, so completely before. Qui-Gon
knew just how fast he could move with out causing Obi-Wan any
pain and just how to move to make it feel very good.
Obi-Wan shifted a little as Qui-Gon reached down and began to
stroke him in counterpoint to his thrusts.
Their speed increased as Obi-Wan adjusted and threw himself
into the movements, pushing back to meet Qui-Gon's thrust. The
oil heated with the friction they created causing the slip
factor to increase, causing their speed to increase until
Qui-Gon shifted just so and pressed hard against
Obi-Wan's prostate.
Obi-Wan barely managed to stifle his scream into his pillow as
he came for the second time that night. He felt himself
collapse forward a little as Qui-Gon, who'd been holding back
his orgasm for sometime, came deeply within him.
Qui-Gon had gently extricated himself, and Obi-Wan had decided
that he disliked the empty feeling left behind even more than
he dislike some of the stretching full feelings that the
encounter had started with.
Now that it was over, Obi-Wan couldn't help but give in to the
intense feelings he'd been stuffing deep down inside himself
all day. Qui-Gon hadn't asked stupid questions like, "Are you
okay?" or "What's wrong?" when the tears began to slide down
his cheeks. His master had just quietly cleaned them both up,
tucked Obi-Wan under the sheets and brought the towel and the
oil into the bathroom.
When he came back out, he found that Obi-Wan had pulled his
discarded robe around himself and was clutching a pillow
tightly to his chest.
Qui-Gon dislodged the pillow and pulled Obi-Wan into his arms,
and pulled the blankets around them both.
"You can do this Obi-Wan. You're strong in the Force and it
will protect you. You know what's at stake and how many you
will help. And when it's over, when you come back here, I will
be waiting for you. I promise."
Obi-Wan listened to the encouraging words, bringing them deeply
into his heart and his memory, until he just couldn't keep his
eyes open any more. He hoped he would wake in his master's arms
come morning, but was, at the same time, afraid that if he did,
he'd never be able to leave them.
He snuggled deeply into Qui-Gon's shoulder and let himself
drift into the last safe night of sleep he could expect for a
long, long time.
In some respects, Qui-Gon was rather proud of himself. He'd
managed to suppress his own fear and tears until long after
he'd seen Obi-Wan to the transport that would take him to the
rim world where he'd begin his petition to join the
Chetner'Phanta.
Unsure of the best course of action, Qui-Gon had laid Obi-Wan
back on the pillows early in the morning and then remained on
the edge of the bed and just watched him sleep. Coruscant's
sole natural beauty remained its sky. Both sunrises and sunsets
were remarkable and the purples, pinks and oranges gave Obi-Wan
an angelic beauty.
His eyes had fluttered open long before the computer would have
to wake him for his flight. Obi-Wan dressed in the tunic and
pants he'd worn the night before and they shared a silent
breakfast of bread and fruit. Neither of them spoke beyond the
necessities of passing the bread basket or refilling their tea
cups. Neither of them had any idea what to say after one night
of stressful love-making before being separated for what would
likely turn out to be a suicide mission.
Obi-Wan had gone to his quarters and changed into his costume
and had his briefing with the Council after breakfast. He'd
thought he'd be taking his final steps alone, but before he'd
gotten more than ten feet past the Council chambers, his
footsteps were joined by the ones he'd come to expect to hear
next to his own.
Again they were silent as they walked through several miles of
Coruscant streets to the hanger. This side of the city-planet
was waking up and coming back to life as the two Jedi moved
unremarked through the sidewalks.
Obi-Wan found his hanger and prepared to wait for the shuttle
to arrive.
Qui-Gon had been thinking all morning about what to say now.
Words of love? Words of encouragement? A joke to break the
tension? Finally, as the shuttle landed, he settled on the
truth. "I'll miss you Obi-Wan. And I'll worry. Come back to me.
No matter how bad it gets out there, come back to me when it's
over."
Obi-Wan had spent most of the morning getting into the
character the Council had scripted for him. He barely allowed
himself to acknowledge his master's words. If he did, he would
certainly undo all the preparations he had done.
So with two words, he made a promise he wasn't at all certain
he could keep, before he walked up the waiting gangplank of his
shuttle.
"I will."
I still -
I still believe
You will return
I know know you will
My heart
Against all odds
Holds still
Yes, still
I still believe
I know as long as I can keep believing, I'll live
I'll live
Love cannot die
You will return
You will return
And I
Alone know why...
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