The Last Night of the World

by Waldo. (

ARCHIVE: Master_Apprentice only. Anyone else interested in archiving this story, please contact me.

CATEGORY: A/U ('IT' never happened), Angst, First-Time and Hurt/Comfort in that this is the comfort before an unavoidable hurt.

RATING: NC-17 for graphic m/m sex

WARNINGS: Only for the sex. There is a mention of the rather strong posibility of massive hurt, including rape in the future, but nothing graphically described.

SUMMARY: Obi-Wan spends one night with his master before leaving on an important but very dangerous mission.

FEEDBACK: Okay, I'm not trying to be cheeky, but if I didn't care what you thought of it, would I show it to you? I write tons of stuff just for myself, but this I wrote for the list, so please let me know what you think. I want the very honest good, bad and ugly. On list or off, where ever you can be honest. Thanks.

THANKS TO: My beta readers who went over this in various stages - Katey, Mac and Cyn. And to Sockii for making this list the kind of place I feel safe posting to. For those who don't know me, I've not posted to a mailing list in over a year and a half and that was to a very private list. So I guess I owe thanks to everyone for making this such a great place.

In a place where that won't let us feel
In a life where nothing seems real
I have found you
I have hound you

In a world that's moving to fast

In a world where nothing can last

I will hold you

I will hold you

Our lives will change when tomorrow comes...

...So stay with me
and hold me tight
and dance
Like it's the last night of the world

from the musical Miss Saigon

Obi-Wan sat staring a small brook that ran through the Jedi Gardens. He was sitting on a large stone that was half submerged in the bank soil that fed and supported the trees and plants that gave Coruscant it's only patch of greenery. It was his favorite place to think. Had been since he'd been a young child.

He was still felt an overwhelming surge of relief every time he felt his master approach. Qui-Gon was still healing from their encounter with the Sith, but aside from lingering muscle soreness and the occasional nightmare, he was almost completely healed.

For the first time since that battle, Obi-Wan wasn't entirely sure he wanted to see his master. 'Former master,' he reminded himself. The Council had accepted all that had happened on Tatooine and Naboo as his trials and had held his Elevation ceremony as soon as Qui-Gon had healed enough to attend and perform his part. It had only been ten or eleven days, but to Obi-Wan it had felt like months. Waiting to see what kind of lingering effects a lightsaber through his master's body would have; waiting to see what his life would be like without the other man at his side.

And then the Council had approached him with this mission. On top of that they compounded the level of his distress by allowing him to decline the mission with no ill-feelings. He was used to following orders. He questioned - more than was strictly good for him Qui-Gon occasionally teased - but did as he was told. He wasn't prepared to make a decision of this magnitude.

"Padawan?" Qui-Gon sat on the ground next to Obi-Wan's stone.

Obi-Wan grinned a little at the title. It had always been something of an affectionate term between them. Regardless of if it was used kindly or in rebuke, it let Obi-Wan know that he held a special place in his master's heart. Obi-Wan had been glad when Qui-Gon neither dropped it from his vocabulary entirely, nor corrected himself after using it. They had come to silent agreement that Obi-Wan would always be Padawan to Qui-Gon.

"You've been upset most of the day, do you want to talk about it?" Qui-Gon asked quietly.

Obi-Wan sighed. He wasn't sure he should be telling Qui-Gon about this yet. Most people were still tip-toeing around him, letting him recover from his own ordeal. But he supposed that not telling him would probably lead to an even greater sense of worry, since the mind tended to come up with much worse scenarios than the true situation if left to imagine. Only in this case, Obi-Wan wasn't sure if that was possible. He hedged. "I thought the Council tried to pick a first assignment that would... allow a new Knight to distinguish themselves. Something that would help them to make their Jedi career their own, separate from their teachers'."

Qui-Gon nodded. "When possible. Sometimes there are no such missions available that would allow for that. Sometimes the particular skills of a new Knight are needed in a less... auspicious setting. Which is the case for you, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan sighed and rolled to his stomach, laying over the rock, letting his fingers trail in the water. "I've been asked if I would accept... a rather... difficult mission. I'm assured I can decline it if I do not feel ready to handle this sort of thing so soon after my Knighting, but ten days or ten years, I don't know if I'll be ready for something like this."

"What's happened, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked gently.

"The Council is attempting to plant someone inside the Chetner'phanta Organization. They've asked me to ... pose as a potential initiate to find out who is running the new slaver ring that seems to be preying on children" A small fish had swum up to him and was letting Obi-Wan stroke it's scales.

Qui-Gon felt himself pale. The Chetner'phanta were one of the most organized and most feared crime rings in the known galaxy. No one knew who was actually in the organization, but there were rumors of everyone from Republic Senators to planetary government leaders to pirates and traders. They were notoriously difficult to find - for both those trying to stop them and those trying to join them. What little information had come out was mostly from failed applicants, who had barely managed to tell the stories of what their hazing had been like before gratefully surrendering to death. Stories of torture, rape, and of forcing the initiates to do the same had been hideous enough that embellishment hadn't been necessary to repulse anyone on the Light side and to convince the Senate to get the Jedi involved.

"Obi-Wan, do you know what the Chetner'phanta Organization requires of it's initiates?" Qui-Gon's voice had lowered until it reflected the same sadness that Obi-Wan's had.

"I know enough. I don't think I want to know the rest. But I keep asking myself if it isn't part of Jedi nobility to sacrifice myself if it means saving children from having to make the sacrifice themselves, without choice, without knowledge of what will happen to them." The fish had gotten bored and continued down the brook. For an unfathomable reason, Obi-Wan missed its company. It took several minutes for him to realize what was happening to him.

In his heart he'd all ready accepted to mission. His head was a little slower to wrap around the idea, but was gradually getting there. He couldn't live with himself if he'd let these atrocities continue while knowing he could have played an instrumental part in stopping them. What he knew he would soon be missing was something as simple as a fish, a brook, a tree. A concerned glance from a friend. The comforting hand that was now resting on his shoulder. He would be stuck, for an indeterminate amount of time in a place so dark and emotionally bereft that he knew he would be forever changed the moment he stepped foot on whatever cargo transport, moon or other desolate place the Chetner'phanta was currently using to 'break in' their initiates. He was all ready starting to miss himself. The self he was now. He wasn't sure he wanted to meet the person he was about to become.

"I ... I have to do what needs to be done... But I ... I'm terrified of what it will mean for me," Obi-Wan confessed to his master.

"Would they send you alone?" Qui-Gon asked quietly.

Obi-Wan nodded. "It would look far too suspicious for a number of young men and women to suddenly show up and try to align themselves with a group of people most people fear even passing on the streets. And..." Obi-Wan had to take long deep breaths before he could say the rest, "They do not wish to subject any more people than necessary to the... damage... the Chetner'phanta subject their initiates to."

Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder tightly. He spoke carefully, knowing that he could convince Obi-Wan to decline the mission with just one word. This decision must truly be his alone. "No one will force you to willingly subject yourself to rape and torture. Not the Council, and certainly not me. The Chetner'phanta are very selective of who they will accept into their ranks. I can only think of one or two others among the Jedi who would meet their requirements, as we understand them. In my opinion, only you have the inner strength necessary to survive a mission like this."

Obi-Wan nodded silently and began to trail his fingers in the water again. Qui-Gon moved close and began rubbing his student's - his friend's - back.

Obi-Wan's voice had dropped so low that Qui-Gon had to strain to hear him. "I appreciate the faith you place in me, Master." He took several deep breaths before adding, "I keep thinking that ... perhaps if I had... had been with another man before this had to happen, it wouldn't be so frightening." He blushed at his own weakness and hid his face in his arms.

Qui-Gon lifted him bodily - using the Force to bolster his own returning strength - and held him on his lap. Obi-Wan didn't even feign strength. He leaned into his master's warm shoulder, feeling the soft fabric of his tunic, listening to the heartbeat that had come all too close to stopping.

For a long time they just sat there clinging to each other. Neither bringing up the subject that they'd learned to leave alone more than six years ago, though this might be the first chance for them to face it, and the last chance to do anything about it. Obi-Wan had been nineteen when he finally admitted that his feelings for his master ran somewhat deeper than was particularly appropriate for a Padawan and his master. They'd been on a beautiful forest moon, searching out Force-adepts in the local population when Obi-Wan felt that he needed to clear the air before he embarrassed himself.

For two days he carefully composed his words for his master. He'd told him of feelings, but that he understood that they were inappropriate for them to share any other kind of relationship beyond Teacher/Student. And he ferverantly prayed that he wouldn't be patted on the head like a cute little Padawan and laughed off.

Why he ever doubted his master, he wasn't sure. Qui-Gon had listened patiently and then taken his smaller hand gently between larger ones. "It takes a great level of maturity to confront your feelings when you know they cannot be made manifest. But I will suggest that perhaps when it would not be inappropriate, we should consider having this conversation again."

Obi-Wan had fallen forward, toward Qui-Gon's larger form, limp with relief at the compassion he'd be shown. And then Qui-Gon had hugged him tightly and said, "And there is another level of relationship that I would be honored to share with you while also still your teacher - that of friendship."

Obi-Wan had been too overcome to attempt to speak then. He just hugged Qui-Gon back tightly and watched over the next few weeks as their relationship transformed. Obi-Wan was rarely introduced as "my apprentice" after that, but as "Jedi Kenobi" or "my companion," allowing people to think them equals. And their friendship had grown. Enough so that Obi-Wan was easily able to live with the fact that the more physical parts of the relationship were not allowed. What he had was enough.

But knowing that Qui-Gon cared for him in the same way he cared for his master, kept him from taking a male lover. He'd been with women, on occasion, but despite the fact Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon would not be allowed to express themselves the way they wanted to each other, they still remained true to each other.

Then, less than twenty days ago, Obi-Wan's world had nearly been cut apart by the hands of a Sith Lord. Since then things had changed so rapidly that they hadn't had time to even think of the status of their relationship. Let alone changing it.

Obi-Wan's eyes drifted closed, but he did not sleep. He lay still in Qui-Gon's arms, soaking up the comfort he would so desperately crave soon. Qui-Gon was stroking his hair and whispering soothingly. Obi-Wan almost didn't hear the quiet question.

"Obi-Wan? Are you asking? Because if you are, I accept."

Obi-Wan looked up at his master through huge, bloodshot, glassy eyes. "I didn't mean to ask, master."

Their master/apprentice bond had only faded slightly. Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan didn't dislike the idea, but felt that he was making himself a burden.

"It's your decision, Obi-Wan. I'll be in my quarters after evening meal... should you choose to join me."

They sat in the gardens for another hour, watching the fish and the occasional amphibian. Not speaking. Not even moving much. Just sharing quiet companionship.

Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan trying to capture it. To store it for his long journey ahead.

Qui-Gon finally took pity on Obi-Wan. He could feel Obi-Wan standing outside the door, trying to find the strength to actually press the chime. After more than five minutes, Qui-Gon finally went to the door and opened it.

Obi-Wan stood there looking sheepish and scared. Qui-Gon led him in by the hand and sat him on the couch. "Tea?"

Obi-Wan blinked at the non-sequiter. He hadn't exactly come for tea and cookies. He nodded numbly.

Qui-Gon set the tray of tea on the low table near the couch and prepared Obi-Wan's for him. He handed him the warm cup and prepared his own. When it was clear that Obi-Wan wasn't about to start a conversation, he moved to sit next to him. Small talk would have been counter-productive, so Qui-Gon got straight to the heart of the matter. "I can't help what will happen after you leave here tomorrow, Obi-Wan, but I won't be any part of it. I need to know that anything that happens here tonight is because you want it. We won't explore the reasons now, we both know them well enough. But I want you to have a safe place to return to when this is all over. Do you understand?"

Obi-Wan nodded and let his head drop back against the couch. He was way too wound up for this. Since he'd been in his early teens, he'd known the basics, and he'd spent several hours that afternoon researching the rest. He knew that he was going to have to learn to relax himself - in ways he'd not really thought about before - if he didn't want to get torn apart. He leaned forward and took another sip of his tea. And this was with his master. The man who just told him that he refused to hurt him. What would it be like to walk into a situation where he'd be all but asking someone to hurt him?

Qui-Gon set his tea cup on the table and pulled Obi-Wan close. He ruffled the still short hair and found it to be slightly damp. He smiled. Obi-Wan had thought this through. Knew what he was asking for by showing up this evening. "We're going to take our time, Obi-Wan. We have all night. I've asked around - your ship leaves a few hours after sun-up. You have a four day journey to rest. We must take this slow. I will not hurt you."

Obi-Wan leaned towards his master, letting his head fall against Qui-Gon's shoulder. Qui-Gon gently kissed the top of his head. "Do you want to go get in bed? I'll join you as soon as I get the tea things put away."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and steeled himself. Just as he was about to rise, Qui-Gon reached up and gently touched his face. It was the most intimate touch Obi-Wan had ever known from his master.

"There is no point of no return, Obi-Wan. No point at all. Am I understood?" Qui-Gon asked firmly.

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said formally.

"Good," Qui-Gon said quietly and tipped Obi-Wan's head up, and kissed his lips lightly. "Go climb in bed, I'll be there shortly."

Obi-Wan set his tea cup on the tray, stood and went into his master's bedroom, grateful for the few minutes alone. He looked around the room through the pinpricks of light coming in through the window. He had the room memorized, but felt the need to take a last look around. While not being called a suicide mission as such, Obi-Wan knew that there were significant reasons to take a last look. To say good-bye to those he cared about before he left.

Though Padawans had their own quarters in a nearby section of the Temple, Qui-Gon had found a futon somewhere and procured extra sheets and blankets for it for the nights Obi-Wan studied too late or worked out too hard to make it home before falling dead asleep. When not in use, it slid neatly under his master's bunk, but the sheets and blankets were kept on it.

Obi-Wan had been just about to turn fourteen when that it had shown up in his master's quarters. He hadn't known anything about it, until he woke up on it, tucked under the blankets. He'd been up most of the night studying as many trade negotiation reports as he could find as he prepared for his oral exam in his Advanced Diplomacy class the next morning.

It was the sort of thing that was barely spoken of. Obi-Wan had simply learned that if he fell asleep while studying with his master, that was more than likely where he'd wake up. He'd always felt a bit embarrassed to admit how much he liked the way his master took care of him, helping him get part-way undressed and tucked under the covers. Usually without waking him.

He had noticed over the years, that Qui-Gon tended to set the trundle bed whenever Obi-Wan had gotten up just in time to run to class or to the gym, instead of stripping it and putting the blankets on a shelf or in a closet. It made him feel welcome. It made him feel safe.

Not long after the futon had appeared he and Qui-Gon had been assigned a rather difficult diplomatic assignment that had failed utterly and messily. Obi-Wan hadn't ever had nightmares like he did once they'd returned from that mission. It was several hours after midnight on their first night home when Obi-Wan could no longer stand the isolation of his own rooms. He'd crept quietly into Qui-Gon's quarters and found the bed pulled out and covers turned back. And for the next half dozen nights, when the nightmares set in, a large warm hand would reach down and rub his back until he fell asleep again.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Obi-Wan began to undress. With great care he folded his tunics and pants and set them on the soft yellow and blue blanket that covered the futon. His boots were tucked under the edge of the bed. He stood there for several seconds before sliding under Qui-Gon's green quilt. It felt odd to be laying in his master's bed, instead of his smaller one on the floor. Sure, he'd had a few daydreams of being in this place, for this purpose... but this wasn't how he ever imagined them coming together.

Qui-Gon tapped quietly on the doorframe before coming in, announcing himself. Obi-Wan sat up against the pillows, pulling the blanket up to be sure it came at least to his waist. Qui-Gon had undressed in the bathroom and donned a light robe before coming in. He left the lights off too, as he slipped out of the robe and lay it over the chair near the bed.

Obi-Wan kept his eyes fastened on the hem of the blanket.

Qui-Gon sat on the edge of the bed and took Obi-Wan's chin in his hand. "You can look, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan blushed a little, but did look up at his Master. The moonlight gave his skin a bluish-white pallor that should have left him looking sickly, but only made him look ethereal. Obi-Wan could see the contours of muscles in strong thighs and arms, the darker outline of hair loose from it's leather confine. It was nearly enough to make him forget their circumstance. Nearly.

Qui-Gon set a small bottle and small towel on the night table. He slid under the covers, next to Obi-Wan, but keeping a discreet distance. "I'll only say this once more, but I need you to know that this is important to me. If you change your mind, you only need to tell me. I know we talked about coming together like this, but never under these circumstances. I won't be offended if you decide this isn't the way you want to do this."

It was the second time his master had told him that. Qui-Gon had never been the sort to repeat himself. He expected to be heeded the first time. It made Obi-Wan worry. "Don't do this just for me," he whispered. "Tell me you're here because you want to be."

"Very much, Obi-Wan. Very much." And with that decided, Qui-Gon pulled him close and kissed him gently.

The tender contact ignited something in Obi-Wan. Something that was very determined to make the kind of memories that would see him through the ordeal to come. He responded to the kiss with much more passion than Qui-Gon had started it with. He pushed himself up onto one elbow for leverage and pushed his master onto his back. Qui-Gon completed the movement by wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan's waist and pulling him on top of his own body.

Obi-Wan was startled at the sudden intimate touch, but was quickly lost again in the feel of soft beard rubbing against his cheek and lips. The contact was electrifying. Obi-Wan had always liked Qui-Gon's beard. That and the long hair gave him such a distinguished look. Made him look ... roguish and at the same time trustworthy, friendly. And the way it felt... so soft. Obi-Wan groaned and as soon as his lips parted, Qui-Gon was there, sliding just the tip of his tongue between them.

Obi-Wan slipped his hand under his master's head, wrapping his fingers in silk-textured hair. Their kisses became deeper and more frantic. Qui-Gon's hand slid over Obi-Wan's back and neck until he too had tangled his fingers in his lover's hair. After a few more passionate kisses, Qui-Gon pulled back. "Easy, Obi-Wan. We're in no hurry." He smiled gently and began to trace Obi-Wan's features with his fingertips. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, delighting in the feather-light caresses.

He was stretching cat-like into the touches when Qui-Gon gripped him once again and rolled them both until their positions were reversed. Now free to run his fingers through his master's long hair, Obi-Wan gently finger-combed out a few tangles and then continued to just card his fingers through heavy mass.

Qui-Gon was kissing his way across Obi-Wan's smooth jaw. Up to his ear and back down along his throat. Obi-Wan arched into the little licks and nips that punctuated the exploration.

As Qui-Gon gently explored Obi-Wan's chest, he could feel Obi-Wan's penis against his stomach. Still soft, it was warm and pliant, shifting with each breath Qui-Gon took against it. He slid his arms under Obi-Wan's waist and pulled them down until he had raised his apprentice's hips against him. At the same time, he began a light, teasing awakening of one nipple.

Obi-Wan heard a little mewl of pleasure escape from his chest as he twisted and shivered against the dual assault. His nipple hardened almost instantly, and his cock began to do the same.

Qui-Gon felt the warmth against his stomach flush and then surge, growing against him. He licked a path across to the other nipple and began the same slow, delicate treatment. As he continued to manipulate the one nipple with his mouth, he pulled one hand out from under his Padawan to twist and tug at the other. Obi-Wan threw his head back and moaned. Loudly.

Qui-Gon smiled at the unabashed sound. Taking it as encouragement, he began to slide further down Obi-Wan's body, gently pinching the smooth skin with his teeth, while his hand continued to do the same to one hard nipple.

Obi-Wan had known a few women who would take him the way he most enjoyed and it seemed that Qui-Gon was willing to do that for him too. He forced himself to be calm and wait for it. Qui-Gon was licking and sucking on the hard protrusion of his left hip bone, moving steadily across the ridge with teeth and tongue. His hands finally slid from where they were to rub sensuously down strong, corded thighs.

Having never been terrifically shy in bed, Obi-Wan was almost ready to ask for what he wanted, when he thought Qui-Gon was moving to give it to him. He groaned in frustration when Qui-Gon simply shifted and began to taste and stroke his right hip and leg. "Please..."

He could feel Qui-Gon's smile against the sensitive crease where his leg and body joined. The soft skin there was easily tickled by the shifting of his master's beard. Obi-Wan spread his legs even wider, begging silently with his body.

Qui-Gon continued to explore until he found the soft, heavy sack of his Padawan's testicles. He sucked one into his mouth and rolled it gently with his tongue while still pinching and rubbing one hard nipple. Obi-Wan pushed his legs even further apart and arched, his breath coming in fast, audible gasps.

Afraid that Obi-Wan was about to hyperventilate, Qui-Gon shifted to a position that he could maintain comfortably for a while. Obi-Wan collapsed against the sheets when his master's mouth deserted him, slowing his breathing.

His respite was short lived though, and he closed his eyes and surrendered to the warm heat that finally surround his straining erection. His sigh was more of relief than anything, his orgasm swelling inside him quickly.

Qui-Gon felt the butterflies of pleasure begin to course through Obi-Wan's mind through their bond. He released straining organ and lay his head on one well muscled thigh. Before Obi-Wan could complain that he was being neglected, left on the edge, Qui-Gon began to cover the shaft in tender little kisses.

Obi-Wan felt like he was going to implode before he was allowed his release. The soft kisses threatened to be his complete undoing. He had a sudden, unwelcome, memory of why they were doing this now. A fair portion of his ardor cooled as he thought about leaving this incredible place, this incredible person and walking into hell.

Qui-Gon felt the shift in his Padawan's attention and quickly shifted to reclaim both his attention and his body.

Obi-Wan arched again, digging his head into the pillow and his heels into the blanket as he felt Qui-Gon's soft beard tickle his thighs and balls. He couldn't contain himself as strong throat muscles began to work the head of his penis while an incredibly agile tongue worked itself around his length.

Qui-Gon continued to work him as he felt the world coalesce into a bright light in Obi-Wan's mind. He swallowed everything Obi-Wan offered him and then cradled him gently in his warm mouth as his apprentice softened and relaxed.

After several long minutes, Qui-Gon crawled up and pulled Obi-Wan into his arms, cradling him softly against his chest.

"How do you feel?" Qui-Gon asked at length.

"Inarticulate?" Obi-Wan ventured.

"Relaxed?" Qui-Gon asked in return.


"Roll over."

Obi-Wan felt a shiver of anxiety wiggle from his gut to his heart. He rolled onto his stomach, pulling a pillow around on angle to rest both his chest and head on.

"Close your eyes and remember how good you just felt. Focus on that. This can feel just as good, maybe even better, if you relax and let it." Qui-Gon continued to whisper quiet words of support and affection as he reached for the small bottle on the night stand.

Obi-Wan tensed as a small splash of cool oil landed on his bottom. He was prepared for Qui-Gon to get straight to the point, but instead found himself relaxing under a strong massage of his gluteal muscles. He'd just found that quiet relaxed place he'd been in just after his orgasm when one finger slid over his entrance.

By now Obi-Wan was too relaxed to tense at the idea of immanent penetration. Qui-Gon was always careful with him. Even when he'd been much younger and Qui-Gon had been teaching him more dangerous lightsaber moves and acrobatics, Qui-Gon had always taken great care to be sure that Obi-Wan hadn't been hurt. He wouldn't let anything happen now.

He felt Qui-Gon's finger graze over the small entrance over and over again. He was snuggled quite comfortably into his pillow when more of the cool oil was poured over Qui-Gon's hand and it dripped onto his skin.

Now he knew what was next. He could feel his muscles prepare to tense, but forced them to remain soft and loose. He bit the inside of his lip as the very tip of one large finger pressed into him. It wasn't precisely painful, but it was a little uncomfortable.

The finger withdrew slowly and carefully and Obi-Wan shivered when a gentle kiss was pressed into the small of his back. "Raise up, love. On your knees. It'll be easier this way."

Obi-Wan let Qui-Gon guide him into position, like he had shown him hundreds of fighting stances and moves, until his head and shoulders rested on the pillow he'd commandeered and his knees were tucked up under his chest. He felt much more open and exposed like this. He supposed it would make the penetration easier, but he felt...vulnerable. A feeling he had never much cared for.

Again, Qui-Gon slid his hands over Obi-Wan's back and bottom before he focused again on the tight muscle he was working on. He poured more oil onto all ready slick skin and gently but firmly committed himself to the action.

Obi-Wan sucked in a sharp breath and held it as he felt the first deep penetration of his master's finger. One steady push had brought Qui-Gon into him up to the second knuckle. It was tight, but made infinitely more bearable by the generous amount of oil Qui-Gon was using.

Qui-Gon began rocking his finger just the tiniest bit. Up and down, in and out, side to side. Small, barely perceptible motions at first, but after a minute or so, Qui-Gon felt just the slightest give in the tight muscle, it was enough for him to slide his finger in all the way.

Obi-Wan let out a startled gasp as Qui-Gon's finger slipped in and something started a nuclear melt-down in his brain. "Was that..."

Qui-Gon laughed quietly at the startled question. "Yes. Should I take that to mean you liked it?"

Obi-Wan snickered at the wise-ass question. "It's... different. Good."

Qui-Gon pulled back slightly and then sought that place once more. Several more strokes and he felt the loosening of the muscle that would be necessary for him to move things along.

"Are you ready for more?" he asked quietly, leaning down to brush a kiss across the oiled skin.

Obi-Wan nodded against the pillow.

Qui-Gon pulled out and re-entered with two fingers. Obi-Wan had relaxed under the tender ministrations and quickly grew accustomed to the greater girth inside him. Qui-Gon continued to gently stroke in and out. Teasingly touching or not touching Obi-Wan's prostrate, keeping him guessing, keeping him wanting more. As he went, he began to gently scissor his fingers, stretching the untried passage a tiny bit more each time.

Obi-Wan was panting from the new arousal his master had produced in him by the time Qui-Gon pressed in gently with three fingers. Even with the new layer of oil poured over them, this was tight. Too tight. Slightly painful... "Master!"

"Easy Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon soothed before his Padawan could get too tense, before he could undo all they'd done in getting him relaxed. "You'll adjust. Just like before. Let yourself relax into it. " Qui-Gon continued the gentle words as well as the gentle strokes until Obi-Wan had once more relaxed and started falling into rhythm again.

As he continued to stroke Obi-Wan's insides, he reached down with his other hand and began to pull on his own half-awake penis. Watching his hand slide in and out of Obi-Wan's body, focusing on how tight the passage was helped him quickly ready himself for the final step.

Qui-Gon withdrew his hand and wiped the excess oil off on the towel. He draped himself over Obi-Wan's back, covering him, and wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's chest, holding him tight. His now-ready penis bobbed against Obi-Wan's ass. "Are you ready?"

Obi-Wan nodded.

"Good." Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan's shoulder, gently biting the protrusion of bone there until Obi-Wan moaned. "Remember, the key to all of this is relaxing yourself. Lean into the Force if it helps you. If there's any pain tell me. But then let it go into the Force. And don't be afraid to show me what you feel. No matter what that might be."

Obi-Wan nodded again as Qui-Gon pulled himself up and knelt behind him. He took a deep breath and reached out for the Force to give him an extra layer of calm.

He expected to be terrified. He'd managed to periodically push circumstance from his mind, but now it was front and center. And yet still he felt... calm... and excited. Qui-Gon had always been attractive to him. Since he could remember having interests of that sort he knew he wouldn't have resisted any overtures his master might make towards him. But when he was old enough that the issue had been serious enough between them, he knew why they had to wait. But being mature enough to accept the reasons didn't mean that he stopped appreciating the strong body, handsome features and graceful movements of Qui-Gon Jinn. He'd long hoped that when he was finally ready for this - the most personal, most intimate sexual act - that it would be his master he could share it with. And now hellish circumstances had conspired to make a dream come true.

Warm hard skin, slick with what felt like a half inch thick coating of oil was sliding up and down his ass. Finally there was a pause as Qui-Gon lined himself up with his entrance and pressed in. Slowly.

When Obi-Wan hissed and started to tense, Qui-Gon wanted to withdraw. To tell Obi-Wan that trying to learn all of this in one night was perhaps, not the wisest course of action. That this was an act that should be led up to slowly. Unfortunately they didn't have the luxury of time. He had to trust Obi-Wan to tell him if this wasn't what he wanted, if it was too uncomfortable, if it was the wrong time and the wrong way for them to come together. He just had to hope that it wouldn't be their only chance.

That thought brought sudden tears to his eyes and he had to force those thoughts back. More than anything else, Obi-Wan needed his strength tonight.

Focusing instead on the smooth, hard body in front of him, around him, he pressed the head of his cock into Obi-Wan's body. Obi-Wan gasped again. "Breathe, Obi-Wan. Breathe and relax. Give everything else to the Force. "

He held still until he felt Obi-Wan gather the Force, take a deep breath and release the discomfort and lingering nervousness into the Force. He was much more calm and pliant when Qui-Gon began to inch slowly inside him.

Obi-Wan was tight. Hot, tight, slick and right. Qui-Gon thought he would want to pound into such a wonderful feeling, but knowing what that would do to his Padawan kept his own libido firmly in check. He slid slowly in, careful to graze Obi-Wan's prostate as he did so, until he was completely ensheathed.

Obi-Wan groaned as he felt his master snuggled against his back and backside. "Is that... are you... all the way in?" He hated having to ask, but needed to know. He felt stretched, but not to the point where he didn't like it. Though he doubted he could take much more.

"Yes," Qui-Gon whispered against his back.

They remained that way for a few minutes before Obi-Wan began to shift a little. Qui-Gon took the hint and began to slowly slide back out. Out a little, in a little, out a little more...

Later, after it was all over, Obi-Wan would decide that the Force was orchestrating their movements. He'd never fallen into synch with another lover so fast, so completely before. Qui-Gon knew just how fast he could move with out causing Obi-Wan any pain and just how to move to make it feel very good.

Obi-Wan shifted a little as Qui-Gon reached down and began to stroke him in counterpoint to his thrusts.

Their speed increased as Obi-Wan adjusted and threw himself into the movements, pushing back to meet Qui-Gon's thrust. The oil heated with the friction they created causing the slip factor to increase, causing their speed to increase until Qui-Gon shifted just so and pressed hard against Obi-Wan's prostate.

Obi-Wan barely managed to stifle his scream into his pillow as he came for the second time that night. He felt himself collapse forward a little as Qui-Gon, who'd been holding back his orgasm for sometime, came deeply within him.

Qui-Gon had gently extricated himself, and Obi-Wan had decided that he disliked the empty feeling left behind even more than he dislike some of the stretching full feelings that the encounter had started with.

Now that it was over, Obi-Wan couldn't help but give in to the intense feelings he'd been stuffing deep down inside himself all day. Qui-Gon hadn't asked stupid questions like, "Are you okay?" or "What's wrong?" when the tears began to slide down his cheeks. His master had just quietly cleaned them both up, tucked Obi-Wan under the sheets and brought the towel and the oil into the bathroom.

When he came back out, he found that Obi-Wan had pulled his discarded robe around himself and was clutching a pillow tightly to his chest.

Qui-Gon dislodged the pillow and pulled Obi-Wan into his arms, and pulled the blankets around them both.

"You can do this Obi-Wan. You're strong in the Force and it will protect you. You know what's at stake and how many you will help. And when it's over, when you come back here, I will be waiting for you. I promise."

Obi-Wan listened to the encouraging words, bringing them deeply into his heart and his memory, until he just couldn't keep his eyes open any more. He hoped he would wake in his master's arms come morning, but was, at the same time, afraid that if he did, he'd never be able to leave them.

He snuggled deeply into Qui-Gon's shoulder and let himself drift into the last safe night of sleep he could expect for a long, long time.

In some respects, Qui-Gon was rather proud of himself. He'd managed to suppress his own fear and tears until long after he'd seen Obi-Wan to the transport that would take him to the rim world where he'd begin his petition to join the Chetner'Phanta.

Unsure of the best course of action, Qui-Gon had laid Obi-Wan back on the pillows early in the morning and then remained on the edge of the bed and just watched him sleep. Coruscant's sole natural beauty remained its sky. Both sunrises and sunsets were remarkable and the purples, pinks and oranges gave Obi-Wan an angelic beauty.

His eyes had fluttered open long before the computer would have to wake him for his flight. Obi-Wan dressed in the tunic and pants he'd worn the night before and they shared a silent breakfast of bread and fruit. Neither of them spoke beyond the necessities of passing the bread basket or refilling their tea cups. Neither of them had any idea what to say after one night of stressful love-making before being separated for what would likely turn out to be a suicide mission.

Obi-Wan had gone to his quarters and changed into his costume and had his briefing with the Council after breakfast. He'd thought he'd be taking his final steps alone, but before he'd gotten more than ten feet past the Council chambers, his footsteps were joined by the ones he'd come to expect to hear next to his own.

Again they were silent as they walked through several miles of Coruscant streets to the hanger. This side of the city-planet was waking up and coming back to life as the two Jedi moved unremarked through the sidewalks.

Obi-Wan found his hanger and prepared to wait for the shuttle to arrive.

Qui-Gon had been thinking all morning about what to say now. Words of love? Words of encouragement? A joke to break the tension? Finally, as the shuttle landed, he settled on the truth. "I'll miss you Obi-Wan. And I'll worry. Come back to me. No matter how bad it gets out there, come back to me when it's over."

Obi-Wan had spent most of the morning getting into the character the Council had scripted for him. He barely allowed himself to acknowledge his master's words. If he did, he would certainly undo all the preparations he had done.

So with two words, he made a promise he wasn't at all certain he could keep, before he walked up the waiting gangplank of his shuttle.

"I will."

I still -
I still believe
You will return
I know know you will
My heart
Against all odds
Holds still

Yes, still
I still believe
I know as long as I can keep believing, I'll live
I'll live
Love cannot die
You will return
You will return
And I
Alone know why...

from the musical: Miss Saigon