The Storyteller Is On Vacation OR A Jedi Also Rises
by MJ (bonarbridge@hotmail.com)
Series: The Storyteller (9/?)
Pairing: Q/O
Category: Humor, Adventure, AU
Rating: G
Archive: MA
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Summary: In which we learn how The Mighty Qui-Gon and the
Plucky Obi- Wan became Master and Apprentice.
Feedback: Oh, yes, yes, yes! Always! Thank you!
Disclaimer: Mr. G. Lucas owns all rights to Qui-Gon and
Obi-Wan. I am merely tuning in to an Alternate Universe that is
tilted just a bit sideways from this one!
Note: Anyone who does not want the canon version of how
Master/Padawan pairs are formed messed with, had best go read
something else. [g] As for me, I may need new glasses...
Once Upon a Time, long before The Storyteller sat before a
group of Young Ones in the Garden of Generous Flexibility,
there was A Beginning. And here, in this Story, we learn of
this Beginning in all of its Splendor. For there was a Time
when the Mighty Qui-Gon Jinn and His Handy Apprentice, Obi-Wan
Kenobi, were not a team, did not soar around the Galaxy Saving
the Underdogs and Whomping the Nasties.
This then is the Story of how Our Guys became the Pair that we
know and love with all our hearts and bandaides.
And now, read on:
The jolly mood the crowd was in had lasted all day. And now
they were chatting, laughing, and cheering like a pack of Young
Ones. The day couldn't have been better: bright sunshine, light
fluffy clouds, gentle breeze and the perfect temperature. Oh,
it was enough to make the most solemn of Masters giddy. And
indeed, most of them were!
The last of the Events was drawing to a close and every Master
present felt his blood at fever pitch.
"Hey, Adi, who's next? Wait...here she comes...it's Peesha!"
Mace shaded his eyes as he watched the poised young Initiate.
The crowd hushed...
"Pull!" Poing!..................Thud!
"Not bad, Mace. Good trajectory, good arch..."
There was a sudden commotion.
"Look, look, look! It's Bant!" They watched as the Initiate
made her way up the steps.
"Pull!" Poing!............................Thonk!
"What a landing!" Both Masters applauded wildly.
The next figure up to the Initiate Launcher slipped into
place. Everyone held their breath.
"Excellent Form, Adi! Did you see how he slipped in that
Double Twist, right at the end?"
"You know, Mace old man, that Bruck is gonna go places." She
grabbed Mace's arm. "Ohmyohmyohmy! Kenobi's up. Now this
is gonna be good!"
Both Masters moved closer to the Safety Fence, eyes on the
slight youth stepping up to the Platform.
It was indeed the Exquisite Obi-Wan Kenobi, the most
extraordinary Initiate to come through Creche Towers, bar none.
At seventeen, he was considered Top Candidate for Padawan in
this year's Crop.
The Big Question was, who would he choose as Master?
Standing calm and ready upon the Launcher, young Kenobi
Centered, lifted his arms out to the sides and then, his soft
voice set the mark...
"Pull." Poing!.........................
Lithe body straight, Obi-Wan shot into the air, turning end
over graceful end in a lengthening arc, high..., ever so
high..., higher than anyone! The crowd of hopeful Masters
gawped as the courageous boy came down not only dead on target,
but standing upright on both feet.
The applause was thunderous. Master Tuche fell over in a dead
faint, while Masters Le'od'itl and Macca Deluwa settled for a
short bout of the Staggers. The rest of the Masters contingent
cheered and yelled as the Senior Initiates filed happily back
into the Temple Rumpus Room.
What a Grand Performance!
"Come on, Mace, let's go watch'em cool down!"
"I'm with you, Adi. But I can't seem to find Qui. Where could
he have gone?"
They hurried cheerfully off to the Rumpus Room, arms linked,
skipping a jolly step.
Behind them, hidden by an anonymous rock, stood Master Qui-Gon
Jinn, Diplomat Extraordinaire, Five-Time Champion Square-Knot
Bowler and Top Sock Hopper of the Tri-Planetary League. The
Intrepid Qui-Gon Jinn, able to thwart Hairy Foes by the dozen
and Awful Enemies by the handfull. The Lovely Qui-Gon Jinn,
known for his Dashing Saber, his Keen Perception, his Eloquent
Voice.
A tear trickled slowly through his neatly trimmed, well-kept,
really handsome beard.
The Excruciatingly Shy Qui-Gon Jinn. Tongue-tied, Lost for
Words, Blushing...Ready for his First Padawan and knowing he
would Never Be Chosen.
The Masters Tap was the Biggest Event on the Jedi Temple
Social Calendar. Once a year, Senior Initiates who made the
grade had their pick of the Unattatched Masters at a Shindig
that was Revel, Banquet, Fete, Prom, and Blowout all rolled
into one. And this year promised to be a Humdinger!
The group of Initiates sitting in one corner of the Rumpus
Room could barely contain their excitement. Two days! Just two
days until they Chose their very own Master!
"Hey, Bant. Didja decide yet? I mean, come on! Let us in
already!"
Bant's big eyes rolled as she broke into a laugh. "Don't push,
Peesha! This is a Very Big Decision! I don't want to make a
mistake..."
There were chuckles all round as Bruck stuck out his tongue.
"Well, Smarty. We know who you're gonna pick anyway! Got to be
Master Le'od'itl, no way it's not!" Applause greeted this
observation and Bant blushed a pretty blue-green.
"How about you, Bruck old son?" Peesha poked the convenient
arm. "You got a Master picked out? Maybe...say...Master
Deluwa?"
This time it was Bruck's turn to blush, as delighted laughter
spread around the table. "Okay, okay!...Maybe!" He turned to
the Initiate slowly sipping a Koola beside him and his voice
took on a dramatic warble. "Oh, Great and Powerful Obi-Wan! Who
will be Your Choice as Master Of All Masters?"
The Lithesome Youth pulled a slow smile and swallowed. When he
spoke, his voice was as soft and sweet as New Season on
Tabella. "Well...I'm going to ask The Mighty Qui-Gon Jinn to
become my Master. If he'll have me."
There was absolute silence for a moment.
"Obi-Wan." Bant was disconcerted, but sympathetic. "Master
Jinn's never been chosen before." Her face appeared just a
little worried. "He's so...so..."
"Weird!" Bruck looked hard at his friend. "We've all had
classes with Master Jinn and I think I speak for most when I
say, Obi-Wan, he's really odd." Heads nodded up and down
the table. "Remember in Political Ramifications of Bipedal
Agreements 101? He had us sing the Rules of Qualifications
while he did some sort of jig!"
"Yeah." Peesha had a grin on her face. "And remember in
Biology of Crawling Deterrents, Third Year? We had to make
costumes for each of the 18 species and waylay Knights at the
Space Port. I never did remember that Third Official
Greeting..."
By now, everyone was laughing, Bant included. "Don't tell me
you don't remember that final in Senior Modified Instigations?"
She affected a deep voice with a light burr. "'Now class, I
wish you to place yourself in a Situation of Rapid-fire
Documentation.'" She slapped her hand hard on the table. "'Hark
ye! The Enemy cometh!'" Slap! "'Quick! Fold that piece of paper
into a weapon and Save the Day!'" Slap!
The laughter was full-blown now, tears rolling down the smooth
cheeks of every Initiate but one. Obi-Wan's smile was
appreciative but stern. As the laughter died down, he asked
softly, "Didn't each of you pass all of the classes? And with
flying colors? And can any one of you forget all the things you
learned, whether you sang, folded or danced?" He looked at the
now-serious faces surrounding him. "Master Jinn is the Greatest
Treasure this Temple has. And I intend to learn everything he
can teach me." He smiled once more. "Even if I have to do the
Jedi Jiggle in front of the Council!"
Laughing again, the group rose from their table, heading for
the Initiate Quarters in Creche Towers. As they passed through
the doors, Obi-Wan paused. "Something",...it felt like a nudge
from the Force, made him stop and look back.
From the opposite direction, walking slowly and gracefully
down the corridor, came Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan felt his heart
take a tiny flip. The Master turned to head down a side
corridor, then stopped a moment. As Obi-Wan watched, the noble
face looked his way, a small frown resting above the deep
sapphire eyes.
Obi-Wan smiled and bowed his head slowly, then, having
memorized the look in those eyes, he turned and headed after
his friends.
Qui-Gon stood rooted to the spot, heart thudding in a chest
that seemed too small. His muttering disturbed only the random
dustmotes floating in the vicinity. "This is not a problem.
Take a deep breath...That's it, Jinn. Okay. You need something
to do. Maybe...the Meditation of Irascible Ignorance. Of
course. And then, a pot of Woobang Suplong Tea. Yes, yes." And
as he walked, and muttered, the image of the young Initiate,
Obi-Wan Kenobi, sizzled around in his brain. "Maybe...maybe
he...but, probably...not..." And the Serene and Dignified
Master Jinn walked slowly down the corridor.
Little Green Yoda was in a Quandary. And by golly, the same
every year, it was. Out of the comfy chair (sigh), watch a
passle of Initiates finagle the Force in New and Incredible
ways, attend a Dangity-Dang Party with too much noise, too much
dancing, and too much food! Wait, wait...no, too much food,
deal with, I can. But the hardest part, the part that made his
heart ache, was watching his former Padawan accept another year
without being chosen as Master, another year in which others
were Tapped by smiling, excited Initiates, another year of
Dancing Alone.
Of course, as he would be the first to acknowledge, The Mighty
Qui- Gon Jinn was...odd. Effective, successful, admired,
respected. Feared... Great Jedi is he, yes...but...figure him
out, even I cannot. Always studious, he was. Always obedient.
But always startled me, he did, with methods and ways no other
Jedi could ever imagine.
His gimmer stick clicking lightly along the corridor, he wove
among the hurrying beings, events of the past playing
themselves out in his mind.
No other Jedi, full strength Saber would set, and through the
side of the Teldarion Regent's barge, carve it.
No other Jedi, the Ruler of Baqqq would take, and up the Royal
Flagpole, hoist him.
No other Jedi, Gobe Worms would catch, and in the Queen of
Nakka's beauty bath, put them.
Little Green Yoda smiled and sighed as he lightly side-stepped
a fully-loaded catering trolley, bound for the overworked
kitchens. Admit, I must, that in every instance, successful he
was. Another trolley rumbled past as he zipped quickly into a
handy doorway. Averts wars, he does. Zip... Creates peace, he
does. Zip... But scares the hell out of everyone, also, he
does. Zip. Zip.
And me, this includes...
The Mighty Qui-Gon Jinn sat deep in meditation, but his
thoughts were far from serene. One face dominated the images in
his mind, one name spread itself over every synapse.
Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Long have I watched this one. He learns easily, expresses
himself well. Never makes a mess or blows up a lab. Always
courteous, blocking corridor traffic for Little Green Yoda,
fetching Mace's Shiny-shine Pate Polish (The Best Glow Ever!).
The Gentle Master smiled. He also plays a damn fine Biolina.
Not to mention the Boodle skirt he crocheted for that cute
little Bant. Or that he built his own Pulsar Powered Boot
Polisher . Or that he knows every step of the Jedi Jiggle...
Stop. Now. This will never do, Jinn. The young man has places
to go, things to do. He will pick a Master to suit the grand
and glorious plans I'm sure he has. You, my Self, are destined
to Walk Alone.
So be it.
And now it's time for that cup of Woobang you've been waiting
all day for.
And the Tired, Pensive Master slowly made his way to the small
kitchen to make himself a pot of tea.
For the next two days, the Temple rang with the sounds of
laughter and music. There were Important Things to discuss!
What would the Senior class sing? What was everybody wearing?
And, oh my gosh, do you think they'll let us have some Passa
Berry Wein? Then everyone would squeal and run off to find
another group to compare notes with.
Obi-Wan floated through the days on his own cloud. So
close...so close. Could it happen? Could he really
become a Padawan? It still seemed so unreal. Like that dream
where he jumped off the Temple roof and landed in Little Green
Yoda's cup of Heppera Tea. And if he asked Master Jinn...and
Master Jinn said Okay...wow... He wrapped his arms tight around
himself and trembled. I don't care what people think. He's the
Only Master for me.
And with a little skip of anticipation, he ran off to find
Bant, Bruck and the others. There were still Plans to be made!
See our dear old Jedi Tower,
Covered now with Age.
Ready in our Finest Hour
As we cut the Braid.
Dear old Tower, how we love you.
You are our best friend.
As we start a life that's brand new
With the Force we blend...
Oh, ghods! It's today, it's today!
The Force fairly sang through the Temple, eddies whirling
around corridors to ruffle frills and furbelows and slip under
unsuspecting robes to lightly goose the Serenity underneath.
Wooo!
In the Big Gym, all was ready. The Decorating Committee had
surely outdone themselves. This year's theme was Dagobah In
Your Dreams and the place looked wonderful! Huge crooky trees,
smoss hanging from craggy branches, a loop tape of authentic
sounds, tons of real snakes draped in strategic spots, and
hidden puddles of real Dagobahn swamp-water. You just
couldn't get any better!
All around were tables heaped with food of every description,
from Kaysac ribs and Pooscaboo Stew to Triscetmalaya and Ossa
Bulbs In Sweetnip. Little Green Yoda perched smack dab between
the Passa Berry Wein Punch and the Dobla Cheny pies, which
were, as he so carefully stated, between hiccups, the two most
dangerous things present when it came to the Safety of the
Initiates. Hiccup...
Against the South Wall, the Eligible Masters were clustered in
excited groups, Dress Browns done to a Crisp, Dress Ecrus as
Ecru as they could possibly get. This was it!
Moving into the room as unobtrusively as his height would
allow, Qui- Gon Jinn wished, for just a moment, that he was
someplace else entirely. With a small sigh, he stepped quietly
behind the largest group of Masters and firmly ignored the
little spike of hope that insisted on tweaking his heart.
And here they came. The Senior Initiates! There were fifteen
this year, all outstanding, all capable, all vivacious and
intelligent. All quite out of the ordinary.
Except one. The one walking at the head of the advancing
group.
Obi-Wan Kenobi. Dressed all in Palest Cream, set off by a
brilliant deep-blue sash. His Force color.
Obi-Wan Kenobi. The most amazing Initiate to hit Creche Towers
in uncounted years.
Obi-Wan Kenobi. Slender, elegant, enchanting. The Dream
Padawan of every Master in the room.
Tucked behind Mace and Adi, Qui-Gon watched the Initiates as
they filed solemnly to the North side of the room, where Master
Tuche stood on a little platform, a small snake draped over her
shoulder.
The Force settled in a fizzy blue foot-level layer, while all
around, voices hushed (hiccup), as one by one, the Initiates
were introduced from trembling little cards.
The Formal Tap had begun!
As the strains of "The Force Will Find You" softly permeated
the air, Master Tuche introduced the first Initiate.
"This is Bant, from Mon Calamari." Polite bows around the
Masters Wall as she walked slowly forward. "Bant loves to cook.
Her specialty is Asmaba, a native dish known for its use as an
aphrodisiac." Appreciative applause. "Bant can perform all
seven levels of the Force Gavotte and was this year's Champion
Spennis Player." Ooooo's and aaaahh's as Bant whirled lightly
on one foot. "And now, Initiate Bant, you may Tap the Master of
Your Choice."
All eyes followed Bant as she moved slowly up to the waiting
Masters and stopped in front of Master Le'od'itl. She bowed.
"Master, I wish to take you as My Master, to Guide my steps
and Teach me the Ways of the Force."
A look of delight spread over Pakla Le'od'itl's face as she
quietly spoke the Words of Acceptance. "Young Bant, I would be
Honored." The applause was loud and long as the new
Master/Padawan Pair moved happily off to the side.
Master Tuche slipped a new card to the front of her stack,
adjusted the snake, and looked with a smile at the next
Initiate.
"This is Peesha Marseneete, from Kemmil..."
And one by one, the Senior Initiates were introduced and
turned loose upon the waiting Masters. One by one, the Ritual
was followed to the letter, Master Tuche calling upon each
Initiate to claim the teacher of his or her choice.
In no time at all, there were only two youngsters left. Near
the opposite wall, Qui-Gon Jinn stood among the last of the
untapped and let the Force flow through his sense of impending
disappointment. It would be, after all, nothing new.
"This is Bruck Chun, from Maidore." Master Tuche grinned
around the room as Bruck walked slowly forward. "Bruck excels
at Spacial Platitudes and Directional Misdirection. He also
plays a mean Ditwalla!" Laughter and whistles. One hiccup.
"Bruck can perform the twelve levels of Morshev's Kata For
Timely Collusion and can create a nutritious meal out of Barni
beans and copy paper." More laughter and loud applause. "And
now, Initiate Chun, you may Tap the Master of Your Choice."
And Bruck marched straight up to Master Deluwa, bowed and
looked him square in the eye. "Master, I wish to take you as My
Master, to Guide my steps and Teach me the Ways of the Force."
He grinned. "Okay?"
Macca Deluwa swatted Bruck on one shoulder, then shook him
hard, chuckling around his answer. "Young Bruck, you scamp, I
would be Honored. And if you don't behave...!" He grabbed his
new Padawan around the waist, hoisted him up and hauled him to
one side as everyone cheered.
"And now, our last Initiate..." The room hushed into absolute
silence.
Not even a hiccup...
"This...is Obi-Wan Kenobi, from Haqmani Prime." The supple
young man stood before them in all his splendor. Master Tuche
cleared her throat a little, then went on, the tremble barely
audible in her quiet voice. "Obi-Wan excels in all forms of
Saber Joust. He has won the Singles event for the last four
years and has set the Standard for the Flying Radial Backhand
for years to come."
The air seemed to hold its breath.
Across the room, Qui-Gon's feet carried him forward a step
with a fizzy Blue Swirl of the Force.
"He can complete six rotations on the gambolyne in two seconds
flat. He broke the standing record for Philharmonic Osmosis in
Scarcity. His quilts and comforters have won every award in the
Tri-Planetary League."
A gentle Blue tug took Qui-Gon one more step forward, as
Master Tuche took a deep breath along with the rest of the
room.
"Obi-Wan can complete every level of the Kata of Ritual
Sangfroid..." Gasps. "...Yes! And..." She paused to regain her
composure, hand lightly pressed to her throat. "...and...he has
just translated the final couplet of Dilblatt's Ode Upon a
Proximity Fuse..." Spontaneous applause and tearful eyes
greeted this last announcement. After all, no one had been able
to read Dilblatt's atrocious handscratch for 972 years.
Another step and Qui-Gon Jinn stood alongside the remaining
Masters, mesmerized, trying not to think, trying not to hope...
This splendid young Initiate would certainly chose one of the
other Masters still left. He knew it...
But, oh, if only...
Little Green Yoda caught sight of the Whirlpool of Force
forming between Obi-Wan and the remaining Masters. Pricking up
his ears, he swallowed a hiccup...
"And now, Initiate Kenobi,..." Master Tuche paused to steady
her voice. "...you may Tap the Master...of your Choice."
Time seemed to stop...
And the Enchanting young man walked slowly forward through the
billowing Force, his steps steady and sure, to the one Master
in all the Temple that was meant for him.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, Senior Initiate, came to a stop and stood,
solemn and still, before the Mighty Qui-Gon Jinn, eyes steady,
face glowing. A little smile played across his nubile mouth.
Heart beating wildly, the Elegant Master held his breath.
"Master Qui-Gon Jinn, I wish to take you as My Master, to
guide and teach me, to hold me steady and true in every
endeavor,..." The little smile crinkled. "...to instruct me in
the finer points of the Jedi Jiggle and the Pas de Coup,..."
The look in his eyes melted Qui- Gon inside and out. "...and to
show me the Finer Facets of the Force in our Quest to Right the
Wrongs of this Galaxy."
Not a molecule stirred...
The Mighty Jinn closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep
breath. "Would now be too soon... Padawan?"
Obi-Wan grinned.
The Temple shook...
And then, as the Force shimmied its way up the Joyful Qui-Gon
and his Jubilant Obi-Wan, every Padawan in the room cheered.
"Do the Jedi Jiggle! Do the Jedi Jiggle! Rah, rah, rah!
Yeaaaa!"
Grinning with all of his teeth, Master Jinn tossed his robe to
one side as the House Band, Jumpin' Wit Da Force, struck up
that beloved old standby, "Romp Around the Clock".
With a whomp, whomp, whomp!, every foot in the place was
stamping out the rhythm, every hand clapping along as the
Mighty Qui-Gon Jinn and His Handy Apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi,
showed just what they were made of.
"One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock Romp,
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock Romp,
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock Romp,
We're gonna Romp, Around, the Clock tonight...!"
It was a Whing to end all Dings. Hands locked together,
straight out to each side, upper bodies perfectly still with a
stillness rarely seen even in the Force Adept, Master and
Padawan Jedi Jiggled as if they'd been doing it together their
entire lives. Grins blazing, boot toggles flying, they kicked,
passed and sashayed, legs pumping, knees wiggling, heels
flashing. What a sight!
Without a doubt, these two were Meant To Be Together.
And, as the smoss swung wildly among the shellshocked snakes,
every corner of the Temple picked up the beat. Bomp, bomp,
bomp! Bomp- bomp, ba-bomp!
Among the food, Little Green Yoda swigged a good swig and
shook his head. For my former Padawan, happy I
am...hiccup...But, survive this, the Council will not...He
mosied past the Crulla fruit to the rapidly disappearing Passa
Berry Wein Punch. Perhaps...hiccup...the Force, in its Wisdom,
preparing us is, for Nasty Things to come...hiccup...
He paused among the Blaht Salad...
Hiccup...
Naaaaahhh...
Bomp, bomp, bomp! Bomp-bomp, ba-bomp!
And so the Legend Began.
And most of the Galaxy said, "We're cool with this."
But a big bunch of the Galaxy said, "Nyah! Prove it!"
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