We are the Jedi Knights who say ... Part B

by Master Yo-Gurt

Archive: Yes, M&A, Fanfiction.net, all others please ask

Category: Humor/Parody

Rating: PG

Spoilers: none

Warnings: Silliness at it's extreme!

Summary: TPM continues to meet Monty Python. This is the continuation of my first TPM/MP story, "We Are The Jedi Knights Who Say ..." DUH!

Disclaimer: Star Wars and all its characters are the ingenious creation of Mega Movie Mogul George Lucas, and some strange guys from England own the rights to Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Do I make money out of this? What is money???

Feedback: YES, YES, YES! Please at bogart_and_lily@yahoo.com

Notes: This will make more sense if you read the first part of it! Many thanks to Kaiburr and Fishgoat for their inspiration to this little piece of nonsense. Colleen, keep on writing that French scetch! It'll come to you some time!

As King Arthur and his knights are on their way to Theed to find a shoe outlet to purchase four pairs of pink fuzzy bunny slippers for the Jedi knights, they stumble across Darth Maul on the way.

KING ARTHUR: "Dear Sir, do you know where we may find a shoe outlet store that carries pink fuzzy bunny slippers?"

DARTH MAUL (growls): "GRRRRR! What do you seek fuzzy bunny slippers for, fools? Who send you? My Master Sidious?"

SIR LANCELOT: "No, no, we need to find fuzzy bunny slippers for the Jedi Knights who say May The Force Be With You!"

(Maul ignites one end of his light saber)

SIR BEDEVERE: "OOOOUUUHHH! Look at that! What a nice color! Do these come in blue as well?"

DARTH MAUL: "What do you mean, blue? Never seen any color but red!"

SIR BEDEVERE: "No? But the Jedi have ..."

(King Arthur to Bedevere: "Shut up!")

KING ARTHUR: "Dear Sith, do not be alarmed! We only need the bunny slippers ..."

DARTH MAUL: "NO! No fuzzy bunny slippers for you!"

(King Arthur takes his knights to the side)

KING ARTHUR: "We must do something to intimidate that creature!"

SIR LANCELOT: "We could send him to a good orthodontist?"

SIR BEDEVERE: "Or tell him if we won't get our slippers he'll for sure will be cut in half one day!"

KING ARTHUR: "No, no, ... er, we must really frighten him. ... We must say ..."

SIR LANCELOT: "Your tattoos look hideous?"

SIR BEDEVERE: "Your horns are made of plastic and will fall of?"

SIR LANCELOT: "Your Master Sidious is really the same as Palpatine?"

KING ARTHUR: "No, ... we must threaten to say May The Force Be With You!"

SIR LANCELOT: "Outch!"

SIR BEDEVERE: " No, you don't mean ...

KING ARTHUR: "Yes, May The Force ...eewhh ... Be ... With ... You! (Outch!)"

(King Arthur and his knights turn back to Darth Maul to face him)

KING ARTHUR: "Sir, if you do not tell us where we can find fuzzy bunny slippers we shall be forced to say May The Force Be With You!"

DARTH MAUL: "HA! You don't frighten ME!

SIR LANCELOT: "May The Force Be With You!"

DARTH MAUL: "Do your worst, scum! I've been told at night to focus on the living Force. During the day I heard that hideous green toad say to me size matters not. You can't scare me, fools! And no fuzzy bunny slippers for you or the Jedi!"

KING ARTHUR: "Then, May The Force Be With You!"

SIR BEDEVERE: "The Force Is With You!"

KING ARTHUR: "No, no, no! You're doing it wrong! It's like this 'May The Force Be With You!'"

SIR BEDEVERE: "The Force Maybe Is With You?"

SIR LANCELOT: "No, May The Force Be With You!!"

SIR BEDEVERE: "Hmm, may the force be with you."

KING ARTHUR: No, Bedevere, listen! May The Force Be With You!"

DARTH MAUL: "Amateurs! There will be no bunny slippers in your future, scum!"

SIR BEDEVERE:" May The Force Be With You!"

KING ARTHUR: "Yes, exactly! May The Force Be With You!

SIR LANCELOT: "May The Force ...

DARTH MAUL: "HA! I fart in your general direction! NO FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS FOR YOU!

KING ARTHUR (resigned): "Humph, it's not working!"

(Queen Amidala appears riding a Kaduu)

AMIDALA: "Are you saying May The Force Be With You! To that poor Sith?"

KING ARTHUR: "Ehm, yes!"

AMIDALA: "Oh, what sad times we have come to when barbaric offworlders can say May The Force Be With You! at will to innocent passing Sith apprentices. There is an invasion going on this planet. Nothing is sacred any longer. Even I the Queen with my dozens of frilly purple and pink outfits and shoes to match find the economic pressure of the Trade Federation stressful and making my hair stand on it's edge!"

KING ARTHUR:" Did you say shoes?"

AMIDALA: "Yes, I owe over 100 pairs of shoes and slippers to go with my over 100 different costumes I change into for the most trivial of occasions."

SIR LANCELOT (rather aggressive): "May The Force Be With You!"

King Arthur: "No, not to her!"

Back in the forest of Naboo, King Arthur and his knights face the Jedi again.

KING ARTHUR: "Oh Jedi Knights who say May The Force Be With You!, we bring you here our sacrifice ñ nice pink and fuzzy bunny slippers for your aching feet!"

MASTER YODA (puts on a pair): "Nice, they are!"

MACE WINDU (puts on another pair): "And they are fuzzy!"

OBI-WAN (holds a pair to Qui-Gon's face): And look, Qui-Gon, these cute little bunny faces! Gutchy-gutchy-goo!"

QUI-GON: "Well, they are cute and they will go nicely with your purple night gown, Obi-Wan! -- But, there is one small problem."

KING ARTHUR: " What is that?"

QUI-GON: "We are no longer the Jedi Knights who say May The Force Be With You!

MACE WINDU: "May The Force Be With You!

MASTER YODA: "May ... The ...Force ...

OBI-WAN: "Shhhh! Stop it!"

MASTER YODA: "Oh!"

QUI-GON: "We are now the Jedi Knights who say We Have A Bad Feeling About This!

KING ARTHUR: "You WHAT?"

MACE WINDU: "May The Force Be With You?

QUI-GON: "Shhh, Mace, We Got A Bad Feeling About This!

MASTER YODA: "A Feeling That Is BAD?

OBI-WAN: "We Have A Very Bad Feeling About This!"

QUI-GON: "Therefore ... we are no longer contractually bound by any agreements previously entered into by the Jedi Knights who said May The Force be With You!

MACE WINDU: "We shall give you a new test, King of Arthur!"

KING ARTHUR: "No, King Arthur, not 'of Arthur'"

QUI-GON: "Whatever! You shall bring before us some matching purses for our pink fuzzy bunny slippers!"

SIR LANCELOT:" Matching purses? Is that not a bit crass, oh Jedi Knights who ... formerly said May The Force Be With You!

OBI-WAN: "I HAVE AN EXTREMELY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS!"

MASTER YODA: "Crass, it is not! Necessary, it is! Our sabers, where and how would we carry them?"

(Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon: "Shall I give them a hint, huh?" Grabs Qui-Gon's butt teasingly)

QUI-GON (hisses): " Stop that Obi-wan! I don't perform well with an audience!"

OBI-WAN (pensively) :Hmm, so the Council doesn't constitute an audience?"

(Qui-Gon to Obi-wan: "Shut the f**k up, Padawan!")

MACE WINDU: "Once you will have brought us the purses, you must then unravel Queen Amidala's hairdos with ... a toothpick!"

KING ARTHUR: " We shall do no such thing!"

SIR LANCELOT: "And mighty Jedi, that can't be done! Not with a toothpick!"

MASTER YODA: "Then say we must We Have Feelings That Are Bad!

OBI-WAN: "Master Yoda, you mean Qui-Gon and I should not ..."

QUI-GON (visibly aggravated): "Obi-Wan Kenobi, NO MASSAGE THERAPY FOR YOU TONIGHT!!!"

Will King Arthur and his knights find the matching purses for the pink and fluffy bunny slippers? Will they destroy Amidala's hair with just a toothpick? Will Obi-Wan really get no full body massage from Qui-Gon?

We shall find out!