Master Apprentice
Archive
It Would Be Enough
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Rated: G? PG?
Pairing: Q/O
Feedback: Keeps the muse in glitter :)
Archive: m_a and my own site.
Synopsis: Five year anniversary. Obi-Wan's PoV.
Disclaimer: lyrics by Tim Rice, music by Andrew Lloyd Webber vocals by Madonna, characters by the Man in Plaid.
**Thank you to Lori for the quickie beta and the title ^_^
~Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me
I believed in you~
Obi-Wan sat at the small table alone, looking at the empty place across from him. His arms folded, he tipped his chair back and closed his eyes. Qui-Gon was late, as usual. He'd have an excuse. The initiates needed extra time in sabre practice. Or perhaps he was counselling a senior padawan on the choices he could make on his path serving the Force.
Not that he didn't believe what the older man told him. He knew it was true. He just wondered when they had managed to lose the excitement of being together. When was the grand passion replaced with comfort and complacency?
~Certainties disappear
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive,
As we used to do?~
The sound of his boots rang through the halls as he ran at top speed to the temple docking bay. Just in time to see the ship pulling away. He bit back a curse.
Anakin had sustained a nasty burn during a sparring match today and he'd been detained at the healers' longer than he'd expected. So he hadn't been there to see Qui-Gon off on his mission. Exchange final touches and murmured words of love and hope. A life together, a safe assignment. Come home to one another safe and whole.
Had Qui-Gon just sat back in his seat, expecting this or had he scanned the small crowd one last time anxiously, hoping to catch a glimpse of him before they were out of sight?
~Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me~
He lay in bed, the lump in his throat almost choking him as it held back all the words in his head. Some angry, some inquisitive, some passionate. It was giving him a headache. Very soon it would be five years together and he had so many questions.
Is this how Qui-Gon had imagined their life together?
He rolled onto his side and watched the older man as he slept. His heart constricted a little. He reached out and traced his fingers over the collar of the sleep shirt his lover wore. When was the last time they slept together nude, entangled and too exhausted to move?
But still, he loved this man. Simple words couldn't express it. He'd just be lost without him.
~Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed~
Obi-Wan could barely contain his surprise when he opened the small box. He looked up at his lover and smiled at him. "It's not much." The older man said and shrugged a little.
"Thank you." He said, feeling his heart lighten for the first time in a while. This gave him hope. Maybe this was normal. Things calming down, becoming routine. But underneath, nothing really changes.
Feeling grow and deepen even after the first blush of the passion fades.
"I just wanted to say thank you for keeping your useless old master around, padawan. Five years of letting this old body call you his own."
Obi-Wan chuckled at this. "Hardly useless, Qui-Gon, in fact I think I may still find uses for you yet."
His lover's deeper laugh joined his own as he slipped his arms around the other man's waist, pulling him close for a kiss.
~Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me~
When the kiss broke, Obi-Wan took the matching stone rings from the box. Polished smooth and black. They each carried with them the resonance of the original stone Qui-Gon had given him for his thirteenth birthday.
He slipped one of the rings onto lover's finger then the other on his own.
Unspoken worries and troubles were pushed into the back of his mind. Qui-Gon always said to live in the moment, and at this moment he knew he loved the other man and was loved in return. That would have to be enough.
The future was always changing and in motion, so who knew how much longer they would have together. If their roads would remain entwined or diverge. If one was significatly shorter than the other.
There was always going to be the possibility of facing life without the other, but he was not going to think about that right now.
He would just enjoy the five years of love he shared with Qui-Gon.
~You must love me~