In the Dark

by Nimori (nimorii@yahoo.ca)

Archive: M_A; anyone else, just ask
Category: Q/O, Q/other, first time, angst
Rating: R for non-graphic m/m sex
Warnings: the usual m/m stuff
SPOILERS: nope
Series: In the Dark, Promise, Silent Devotion
Summary - A tryst in the garden.
Feedback - Pretty please? On or off list.
Disclaimers: You the man, George. The only thing I'm getting for this is some cheap thrills and (hopefully) some feedback.
Notes: All things SW belong to Lucas, all mistakes belong to me, and all nekkid Jedi belong to my betas, KatBear, Master Jenn, and The Rose. Thanks for all the help!

I came across them in the gardens at dusk. The gardens. A place of public meditation, where anyone might stumble across them. Where I might stumble across them. They made no effort to hide their activities, and they certainly were not meditating.

I watched them for a time, a master and padawan groping and twining, moaning, thrusting together through disarrayed clothing. My mind told me I should turn away, go back to my quarters, meditate, while my heart screamed for me to run forward, tear them apart, avenge this betrayal of my trust. My body did neither. I watched, outwardly impassive, inwardly seething, as I catalogued each touch, each kiss, each whisper, each groan. Every drop of their sweat burned into my skin; every love bite tore my flesh.

I watched them, watched him screwing my competition against the wall of the gazebo in the Thousand-Terrace garden -- competition I had always known was there, but never thought would find an outlet in this manner.

I watched, and the little bastard looked up, looked right at me, and moaned. "Oh, Qui-Gon, yes! You know how I like it." And he wound his hands in that long hair -- hair which I had spent so many hours brushing to a burnished waterfall. And he moved with such wanton lust, wrapping his legs around Qui-Gon's waist. And-- how dare a padawan call a master by name! His effrontery appalled me, as did Qui-Gon's acceptance of it.

I almost called out, almost said something scathing that would humble and hurt the one I loved, trusted, respected. I barely restrained myself, certain that any embarrassment I caused for him would swiftly give way to fury -- a master must maintain his dignity before a padawan after all.

And the smug padawan bastard wanted me to speak.

He dared me with his eyes. Go ahead. Do it, they said. Call him out for this public display. Berate him for touching me. Reveal yourself for the jealous, childish fool you are.

I knew better than to answer that challenge. Gathering the shreds of my innocent, complacent former existence, I spun on a heel and went back to my quarters, stumbling down the garden paths with a final exultant shout lingering in my ears. "Qui-Gon, yes! Force, yes."

Far worse was the tender whisper that followed. "Padawan."

My rooms were cold and dark, and I threw my robe over the datapads littering the small table. They only reminded me he would be there shortly to go over some reports... and he would reek of sex when he arrived.

I have no claim to him, I reminded myself.

Berating myself for allowing my emotions to spiral out of control, I tried to meditate, but wound up sitting in the dark, watching the whirl of Coruscant traffic outside my window and wondering why the light and bustle seemed so far away.

So I sat in the dark, trying to meditate, but only seeing my master fucking Bruck Chun in the Thousand-Terrace garden at dusk.

*Finis*