A challenge came over the M_A list a couple days ago from
Worship and it asked for fics where
Summary: Obi-Wan loses his memory
Category: It can be either Humorous OR Angsty, like H/C (i.e.
Obi-Wan getting frustrated over why he can't remember)
Restrictions: You can't just have Qui-Gon go into his mind and
fix the problem. There has to be something of a plot
there.
Rating: NC-17, if possible. =)
my first story (which has been revamped for the 3rd part now)
started out like the typical smut fest I seem to write but this
is what came out instead.
Subject: Q/O
Rating: PG for suggested relationship, Angst, POV, AU
Spoilers: Yes - big time
Archive: Master & Apprentice, The Nesting Place, OKEB,
QGEB, SWA-L
Feedback - Yes please, it's my version of the Force!
Disclaimer: Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon belong to the Force that is
George Lucas - he of the incredible luck and multi-million
dollars. My no have none of that!
Chocolate Obi-Wans and Qui-Gons covered in whipped cream to
Chris, Holly & Heather - my goddesses of beta.
This is the first of the 2 "prequels" to my version of
Worship's memory challenge - enjoy!
"I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner."
What? You can't! you have me...
"An apprentice you have already Qui-Gon, impossible to take
another."
Thank you Master Yoda.
"The code forbids it."
Listen to Master Windu, Qui-Gon, please.
"Obi-Wan is ready to take the trials. He is headstrong and
impatient and needs to trust more in the living Force but there
is nothing else I can teach him."
How can you say that? We are life-bonded - aren't we? Oh
Force, you don't want me any longer. Why didn't you teach me
this Master, teach me how much a shattering heart can hurt.
Have you stopped loving me? No - I will not show you how you've
ripped my heart out, I will not be weak in front of you.
"I am ready to face the Trials."
"Our own judgment we will keep as to who is ready Padawan.
Young Skywalker's fate will be decided later, more pressing
matters we must deal with now."
Do you sense my distress Master Yoda? Is that why you are
delaying the inevitable -he doesn't want me anymore.
"The Queen is returning to Naboo, this may escalate the
conflict"
Force above, no more, don't do this...
"And draw out her attacker."
The mysterious thing from Tatooine, the one who almost took
you from me Mas... No you no longer wish me to call you that,
do you?
"You will return with her to Naboo - this may be the clue we
need in solving the mystery of the Sith."
And then you will reject me... deny my place in your life as
you are denying I have a place in your heart.
"Yes My Masters."
Damn you Qui-Gon.
Bow to the Council Obi-Wan, don't forget your manners, the
traditions you've been taught.
I should wait for Qui-Gon to precede me from the room
but...I need to get away from here. Gods it hurts. He's probing
my shields, trying to get under them. NO! I won't let him hurt
me any more. I can't let him in - that last rejection, his
disappointment and disapproval of me would kill me, and I know
it.
I'm walking faster and faster, he has longer legs but he
also has the boy clinging to him so he can't catch up. For once
I am almost grateful. I can't really blame the child, he can't
help what he is, but he is dangerous. No - I will not
give in to those unworthy emotions. The boy is blameless - an
innocent in all this. It is Qui-Gon who chose to thrust all of
us in this maelstrom. I will not take my anger and pain out on
a child - to do that would make me unworthy to be Jedi, and if
I have my trials to face soon I must be prepared.
I had to try and understand what Qui-Gon was doing, but did
he have to thrust the blade deeper into my already shredded
soul?
"It's not disrespect Master, it's the truth."
"From your point of view, perhaps."
"The boy is dangerous. They all sense it, why can't
you?"
"The Council will decide Anakin's fate. That should be enough
for you. Now get on board."
"Master sir - I don't want to be a problem..."
He is so gentle and loving with the child, the way he used
to be with me. Even breathing hurts now, the pain is so all
encompassing. Can't he even feel my pain in the slightest? We
have a life-bond, if he wanted to know my feelings he could
discover them no matter how much I shield myself.
Face the facts Obi - he doesn't want to know your feelings.
He no longer has room for you in his life - he has "the chosen
one." You know he didn't really want you as Padawan in the
first place, after all remember Bandomeer. It took nearly dying
to make him realize that we'd already bonded. And now ... now
he has a grand and glorious destiny. Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master
to the Chosen One.
Gods above - I hurt.
If only I could make this pain go away. Please - Force be
merciful and please make this pain go away.
Archive 