disclaimer: all characters belong to george lucas... don't sue
me, I don't make any money with that...
warning: can't imagine of any...
feedback: yes, please! criticism is also welcome...
note: this was a challenge from a friend of mine... well..
somehow it's absolutely AU, I think, because.. well, you'll
read it... it is one of my first fanfics.. I like the idea of
the fanfics, but not the way I wrote it....
summary:There's a king giving an banquet for both, Jedi and
Sith (they aren't happy about this,as you can imagine), and
they have to go hunt rabbits (white ones). BUT- oh what a pity-
Darth Maul and Obi-Wan are getting lost in the forest... please
excuse any spelling and/or grammatical mistakes.... tell me, if
you found any...
/Great! Now I'm lost in the forest with one of these fucking
Jedi. Why happens this kind of shit always to me?/ the Sith
thought.
"Damned. And what shall we do now?"
"I think it's the best to stay here." Obi-Wan said.
"Fuck. Why happens this fucking bullshit to me....." Maul
grumbled.
"Oh come on!"
"What?!"
"Don't use such words in front of me!"
"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!!!!" Maul tried to tease him. Obi-Wan turned
around and looked at him angrily.
"I'll try..."Maul murmured and sat down on a stone.
"And if they can't find us?" Maul asked.
"They will find us...I hope." Obi-Wan answered. He sat down
next to Darth Maul, but then jumped up quickly.
"What? Do ya think I gonna eat ya?"
"No." Obi-Wan answered,
"But I was sitting on something."
They looked at the place where Obi-Wan sat before, but there
was just a puddle of slime. Then Obi-Wan looked at his tunic.
There was a big stain of slime too.
"YYYYYYYuck!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, but Maul split his sides
laughing.
"Haha, very funny...."
"I'm sorry, but....bwhahahaha" Maul wasn't able to say more.
Obi-Wan took off his tunic, made a pillow out of it and lay it
on the stone. Then he sat down on it.
"Finished?" Obi-Wan asked sarcastically.
"Yes." Maul answered and grinned at him.
Both were sitting on the stone and looked in different
directions. Noone spoke.
"I've never seen one of your species before." Obi-Wan suddenly
said. Maul looked up.
"What?!"
"I..ehrm..forget it..."
"Ok."
Obi-Wan looked at the ground. He thought of his master and the
last night. He made a big grin. Maul recognized his
contentment.
"You're thinking of your master, aren't you?" Obi-Wan looked
at him, then he looked back at the ground.
"Yes. When I'm down I just think of him and then I feel
better."
"You don't think of him, you think of the wild nights you have
with him." Obi-Wan looked at Maul with amazement.
"Jealous?"
"Of your master? No way, man!"
Obi-Wan laughed.
"I have my own sex machine, don't worry!" Maul also began to
laugh. After a few minutes they stopped.
"I didn't knew how much fun I could have with a jedi!" Maul
said.
"I didn't knew how funny it could be with a Sith." Obi-Wan
replied.
"Why do ya wanna kill us?" Maul asked.
"Why do you want to kill us ?" Obi-Wan replied.
"Because....hmm...I asked fist!"
"Because you want to rule over the galaxy and want us to die?"
"Erm....forget my question."
Both didn't knew what to say, they were just looking in the sky
or at the ground. Suddenly, Obi-Wan looked up.
"Maul, look!" He pointed at the bushes. They were moving. Maul
took his lightsaber. Suddenly a white rabbit came out of the
bushes.
"The rabbit!" both shouted. They moved slowly towards the
rabbit. Maul jumped and tried to catch it, but it jumped away,
and Maul lay on the ground. He quickly stood up. The rabbit ran
towards Obi-Wan, Maul ran after the rabbit. Maul jumped again,
catched the rabbit and landed in front of Obi-Wan's feet.
"I got it!!" Maul said, but Obi-Wan giggled.
"Why are ya giggling?" Maul asked.
"It looked so funny when you tried to catch the rabbit. Why
didn't you use the Force?"
"Ehrm..the Force..Shite! Well, doesn't matter! We got the
rabbit, that means, we're the winners!"
"But they have to find us first!" Obi-Wan replied.
"Shite! You're right." While Maul was standing up, his stomache
rumbled.
"I'm hungry.." He looked at the rabbit.
"No, Maul! Don't even dare!"
"But I'm hungry!!"
"Can't you take it anymore? If you eat the rabbit, then we
don't win!" Obi-Wan tried to persuade him.
"And by the way, we haven't got fire where we could fry the
rabbit on!"
"I hate it when you're right!" Maul grumbled and sat down. He
looked at the rabbit.
"Not even a leg?"
"Raw??"
"Sure!"
"NO! Whether fried, nor raw!"
"Oh God, Obi-Wan, you sound like my master..." Obi-Wan smiled
and sat down next to Maul. He looked at the rabbit.
"How can you even think of eating such a cute, sweet,
lovely...."
"...fat, good tasting rabbit?" Maul interrupted.
"It's not very hard, Obi-Wan, when you're really hungry!"
Obi-Wan shook his head and stroke the rabbit, which sat on
Maul's lap.
"I think it's sleeping." Obi-Wan said softly.
"It's better to put the rabbit away from me, or I'm going to
eat it." Maul menaced with a grin.
"Put it on my tunic." Obi-Wan suggested.
Said, done.
"And where do ya sit now?!"
"Maybe on your lap?" Obi-Wan answered and grinned impishly.
"Ehrm..Obi-Wan? Can I ask you something?"
"Sure!What is it?"
"At the banquet, do we have to dance?"
"Of course, we must dance.."
"And we must dance a waltz?"
"Yes, but why do you ask me?"
"Shite!!"
"Do you want to say you can't dance a waltz?" Obi-Wan asked
with amazement.
"No, I can't!! Can you dance a waltz?"
"Sure!"
"I'm going to look like an idiot when I have to
dance.....Shite!"
"I have an idea!" Obi-Wan suddenly said.
"What?"
"I teach you the waltz, right now!"
"Are you nuts?" Maul yelled.
"Why not? Or do you want to look like an idiot at the banquet?"
"......"
"Oh, come on! It's easy!" Obi-Wan grabbed Maul's hand and
pulled him up.
"Man or woman?" Obi-Wan asked.
"What?"
"Are you a man or a woman??"
"Have you got tomatoes on your eyes?? What do ya think I am?"
Maul hissed angrily. Obi-Wan sighed.
"No. For a waltz men and woman have different steps, and I
wanted to know if you want to learn the men's steps or the
women's."
"The men's of course!"
"OK. Well, it's easy. The right foot forward, then the left to
the side and close with the right one. Then the left foot
forward, the right to the side and close. That's it!"
"Aha.."
"You don't look like someone who understood this. Shall I
explain it again?"
"No, no, I understood. Let's try it!" Maul grabbed Obi-Wan and
pulled him near.
"Is that right?"
"Yes, but too close." Obi-Wan moaned and pushed himself a
little bit back.
"That's better. Ok, ready?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Maul said and grinned at Obi-Wan. Maul made the
first step, but he started with the wrong foot and stepped on
Obi-Wan's toes, who uttered a loud "Ouch!".
"I'm sorry!!" Maul tried to help Obi-Wan, who jumped around,
holding his foot.
"I'm soo sorry, Obi-Wan! Everything OK?!"
"My foot! My foot! OHHH!" Maul looked desperate, but Obi-Wan
slowly stopped to jump around.
"Ok, I'm fine. Let's try it again, and this time: Start with
your right foot!!!" Obi-Wan said with a strict voice.
"Yes, ma'am." They took their positions and started. This time
all went good.
"Great! Darth Maul, you got it!" Maul smiled.
"Maul, you have to look into my eyes." Obi-Wan said.
"But then I don't know where we are dancing."
"Just do it."
Maul looked up and into Obi-Wan's eyes.
/Beatiful eyes/ he thought and swallowed.
Suddenly Obi-Wan tripped over something and he fell on the
ground. Desperately Obi-Wan grabbed something which
unfortunately was Maul. He dragged the stunned Sith with him
onto the ground, and Maul fell onto Obi-Wan. They started to
giggle. Suddenly, at this moment, Qui-Gon and Darth Sidious
came out of the bushes.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Qui-Gon yelled as he saw
Obi-Wan lying under Darth Maul.
"Oops." Obi-Wan swallowed. Maul stood up and helped Obi-Wan to
get up.
"Did we interrupt you?" Darth Sidous asked and glared at Maul.
"It's not what it looks like." Obi-Wan tried to vindicate
himself.
"And what is it?" Qui-Gon sounded very angry, but Obi-Wan
could feel his hurt.
"It's not Obi-Wan's fault." Maul suddenly said, "He tried to
help me."
"I can imagine with what..." Qui-Gon turned around and went
on.
"Master, wait!" Obi-Wan ran after him.
"Wait! Qui-Gon!" Qui-Gon stopped, but he didn't turn around.
"Master, I...."
"Save your breath! I never have been so dissapointed of you!"
"Master, there was nothing between me and Maul! I just tried
to teach him the waltz!"
Qui-Gon turned around, his eyes wide opened with disbelief and
anger.
"WHAT!?!?! Obi-Wan, I've heard many lies, but this is the most
unbelievable!"
"It's not a lie! It's the truth! I would never dare to lie or
cheat you! Please, master..." Obi-Wan sounded desperately. He
went up to Qui- Gon and kissed him.
"It is very hard to believe that, Obi-Wan...but you are my
padawan, and I wouldn't believe you if you weren't."
"You'll see, master, I've told the truth." Obi-Wan said and
smiled.
*****Later at the banquet*****
"And the winners of our hunting are Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth
Maul!" the king yelled.
"Now the winners have to dance a waltz!"
"Darth Maul can't dance a waltz. It will be a great show to see
him stumbling around like an idiot." Darth Sidious whispered to
Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan and Maul went on the dance floor. As the music started,
they began to dance a perfect waltz.
"What the hell?! Where did he learn that from?"
Qui-Gon knew where from. His padawan had told the truth.
When Obi-Wan looked at him, he smiled at his padawan. Obi-Wan
knew what he wanted to say, and danced happily on.
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