Epilogue

by The Rose and Kalujinn

Title: Epilogue
Author: The Rose and Kalujinn
Archive: M/A and my web site, http://www.sockiipress.org/~rose
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Q/O
Category: Point of View, Romance, Qui/Obi
Warnings: No
Spoilers: Nope
Series: This is the ninth and final installment in the "Glimpses" series, co-written by The Rose and Kalujinn. The series order is: "Qui-Gon's Treasure," "A Slow Healing," "A Gift for Qui-Gon," "Observations," "Sunsets," "Measure of a Man," "Daydreams," and "Focus."
Feedback: <waves hand slowly in air> You WILL send feedback. Ah, come on! You know you want to! Either on-list or off to: rosarocaminis@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: George Lucas owns all things Star Wars and makes a fortune off of them. Me, I write for the fun of it and give it away for free.
Summary: Qui-Gon has been freed, and he's declared his love for Obi-Wan. But, will the knight ever be able to return his feelings?
Authors' notes: We are planning a sequel.

Obi-Wan had made a promise, and as pointless as it seemed, he would not break it. He couldn't go back to his quarters to work through this, however. Anakin was there, hopefully studying, and though he would try not to be a distraction, his mere presence would keep Obi-Wan from concentrating fully on the matter at hand.

So, he went instead to the Starmap Room. It had been one of his favorite places in the Temple as long as he could remember. The room darkened immediately as it adjusted to his presence, the blackness of space appearing overhead lit by a million pinpoints of light.

He sank to the floor in the center of the room, folding his legs beneath him and closing his eyes. He drew a long, slow breath and forced himself to recall his former master's words.

"I've loved you for a very long time," Qui-Gon had said.

Obi-Wan had pretended to misunderstand. "I love you too, Master."

"I mean that I've been in love with you for a long time."

Even now, hearing it only as an echo in his mind, it was hard for Obi-Wan not to leap to his feet, not to try to run from those words.

"Is the idea so distasteful to you?" Qui-Gon had asked next.

Was it? No, not distasteful, just...

Obi-Wan tilted his head back and gazed up at the stars revolving slowly above him. What he had told Qui-Gon was true; he'd never seriously contemplated a relationship of that sort with another man.

There had been that time in adolescence when he'd had a crush on Qui-Gon. He'd passed it off as natural and normal and had never spoken of it. And, he'd refused to let his mind take the thought any further, never letting himself imagine what it would be like.

Now, he allowed himself that luxury, telling himself that it was his duty to fulfill his promise and to examine his feelings fully. He closed his eyes again and let himself sink into a nearly meditative state.

He remembered those years well. He had been awkward, feeling out of step with his own body, his hormones altering not only the timbre of his voice but his very balance and familiarity with himself. His master had chosen that time to teach him a very difficult kata called the Soaring Raptor. He said it would help him adjust to the changes in his body.

It had also nearly driven him insane.

Not only did it require the complete attention of the man that he suddenly found himself infatuated with, but it also required a lot of physical contact. He remembered well the first time he had fallen during one of the more difficult stances. He had felt like a complete klutz, but Qui-Gon had not laughed. His large hands had merely reached to draw Obi-Wan back to his feet, and had then guided him back into the correct position, this time settling on the young man's hips to steady him.

It felt incredible, and Obi-Wan had found himself wishing he'd stumble again just to feel it repeated. Gravity and the difficulty of the kata granted his wish, time and time again. And perhaps there were times when it wasn't gravity, Obi-Wan realized with an inward smile. He seemed to remember at least two occasions when the stumble hadn't been accidental, but planned, although he fervently hoped his master didn't know that.

Fortunately, his adolescence had been fairly short lived, overshadowed by mission after mission and by the sheer burden of a Jedi padawan's heavy training schedule.

Still, if he were going to be true to his promise to Qui-Gon, he would have to examine more deeply why that simple touch had affected him so. Strong, secure, and comforting as it was, his master's touch was nothing new, nothing unique. It had happened throughout his apprenticeship.

He sank deeper into his meditation and let himself remember.

He could almost feel those hands again, adjusting the angle of his shoulders here, the cant of his hips there, raising or lowering an elbow or shifting a foot to a more perfect position. Even in the later years, right before Naboo, a simple touch to his shoulder or a hand adjusting his braid could make him smile, could spread a warm feeling inside him.

Warmth.

Caring.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes in sudden realization. If he had had feelings for Qui-Gon before, even if they were those of a love-struck adolescent, then it was possible he could develop feelings for him again.

A soft rap at his door drew Qui-Gon's attention. He keyed off the datapad he had been reading and laid it in his lap. "Come in."

The door opened to reveal his former padawan. Qui-Gon's emotions went from joy to despair and back again, all in the matter of a moment.

"I can't stay. I'm headed out on a mission," Obi-Wan said, gesturing at the bag he had slung over one shoulder.

"I see," Qui-Gon replied.

"I wanted to tell you that I've done a lot of thinking about, well, you know…" Obi-Wan gestured at the space between them with one hand.

"And?"

"Well, uh…" Obi-Wan stammered uncomfortably. "What I'm trying to say is…"

"Yes?" Qui-Gon prompted as dread and hope warred for possession of his heart.

"I think it might be possible," Obi-Wan blurted quickly. A shy grin stole across his face just before he bolted back through the door and disappeared.

Qui-Gon stared at the space where his former padawan had stood, his mind whirling as it tried to process Obi-Wan's words. Finally, he smiled. While not the answer he'd hoped for, it was enough.

Yes. For now, it was enough.

End