A Glimpse Into the Future

by Ashlyn ( ashlynmorgan@yahoo.com )

Archive: Yes, to M_A. All others, just tell me where you put it.

Category: O/A, angst

Rating: PG

Warnings: CHARACTER DEATH, ANGST, SUICIDE...DPS story, continue if you want, but remember, you were WARNED.

Acknowledgements: First to And to Mystique and Aeshna, for the Dead Padawan Society. This is probably the coolest cyber tradition I've found yet. Especially for Halloween. It also inspired me to dive into this fandom as a writer. So Thanks for letting me play in your sandbox. To the write off guys of irc, you guys rock. I would have never actually did this without those fun contests. So, I will forgive you siding with Sheltie and calling me psycho. At and least (heh heh) I thanks my evil Sith little cyber sister Janie, known to most of you guys as either Sheltie or the Pup. It was her help with the brainstorming and her contstant insistance that I continue to torture both Obi Wan and Anakin until they both hurt pretty. Plus, she edited, so you gotta love that. Be gentle, this is my first Star Wars story :)

Feedback: Yes, please! Disclaimer: I don't own them; wish I did, but they belong to George. I'm sure he would sue me if he saw what I did to them.

Summary: A vision leaves a Padawan with a most difficult decision.

/../ indicates thought.

[...] indicates telepathy

Anakin sits alone in his room, his mind a million miles away. He keeps receiving these flashes...not really dreams, not even nightmares. Something within him tells him he must fight his fear and allow the vision to completely reveal itself. The teenager attempts to allow the Force to gather around him, but his uneasiness and restlessness prevents it from happening. /Why can't I be more like my Master?/ he thinks to himself. /Meditating is so easy for him./

"If you would clear your mind of all thoughts, Padawan, meditation would come much easier." The crisp, calm voice of his Master interrupts his thoughts as he opens his blue eyes and rolls them, as only a sixteen year old can. "That will help."

"You are mocking me." Anakin scolds.

"I'd never do that," comes the coy reply. "You awoke me with your restlessness. Is there something you wish to speak about?" When Obi-Wan receives no answer, he walks into the room and sits next to the younger man. "Nightmares?"

"No. I don't think it's a nightmare. It's more of..." His voice trails off as another vision flashes before him. He sees his Master ... years from now. Someone is standing over him ... someone dressed in black. "NOOOOOOOO!" Anakin screams as he recoils from the comforting touch of his Master.

"Ani!" Obi-Wan whispers softly, his heart aching for the boy. "Please, let me help you." When the boy curls up into a ball and covers his face in his hands, Obi-Wan is at a loss at what to do. He tries to patch into Anakin's thoughts to see what is troubling him, but Anakin has his privacy shields on. "Padawan, please."

/No. It's just a nightmare. It's just a bad dream and I will wake up./ Another flash and the picture becomes clearer, his Master isn't even fighting for his life. He is sacrificing himself...but for whom? Why does this bother Anakin so? He can feel Obi-Wan's tender touch and this time he allows himself to be pulled into the embrace. Tears prick at his eyes as he folds into his Master's arms, allowing himself to be rocked like a babe. "Make it stop," he whispers hoarsely.

"I want to, Padawan, but I need to know what it is, first," Obi-Wan soothes, using a hand to gently brush back his apprentice's soft golden hair. He hasn't held him so close since the first few nights after Master Jinn's death. Anakin had seemed so small and frightened, yet brave at the same time. He had left his mother and faced life with a man he didn't even know. The nightmares, they have come and gone with the years, but nothing this traumatic. "Perhaps we should go to the healers."

"No," Anakin demands as he pushes Obi-Wan away angrily. "You think I'm losing my mind."

"Anakin ..."

"You should shield your thoughts better, Master." The words are bitter and angry. They wash over the Jedi Master like ice-cold water.

"Why are you picking a fight, Padawan?" Obi-Wan demands. He reaches out into the Force to gain guidance but is met with only a feeling of nausea mounting in the pit of his stomach. Something is definitely not right with his apprentice. The younger man paces back and forth around the quarters like a wild, caged animal, his anger gripping at him, boiling beneath his skin. This anger the Council had sensed in him so long ago, but Obi-Wan had refused to listen to their guidance. His promise to his Master was more important. "Anakin ..."

"You believe I am becoming what they warned you about," Anakin growls, unable to control the fit of rage that consumes him. "I can feel your fear, Master. I can smell it. You doubt your ability to control me. I doubt it too."

"That is enough, young one." Obi-Wan reprimands harshly. "Whatever is bothering you will not be worked out as long as you allow yourself to give into this anger."

"A Jedi feels not anger, not fear, not love...right Master?" Anakin practically screams as he closes his eyes, allowing the passion to flow through him like hot molten lava. "I feel them ALL." He turns suddenly and is gripped with a hysterical laughter. It is not the kind that comes from a child, but the laughter you hear when someone has gone crazy. "You should embrace it, Master. Feel what is around you! TAKE SOME OF THESE FEELINGS FROM ME!!!" The laughter is gone and replaced with fury.

"ANAKIN!" Obi-Wan pleads, desperately trying to reach his young apprentice. "Let me in on what is bothering you, lower your shields and allow me to help you."

The vision passes through Skywalker again .... dead Jedi, lots of dead Jedi ... Master Windu ... no ... "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Anakin drops to his knees, tearing at his hair with his hands in an act of complete and utter desperation. "Why? Why will they die?"

"Who, Anakin?" Obi-Wan demands as he, too, falls to his knees. He is careful as he reaches out to his young apprentice, and as expected, the boy recoils from the touch. "Who dies?"

"All of you," he says coldly, his voice so different from usual. "You all die, and I live."

"Anakin, let down your shields," Master Kenobi, pleads only to be met with cold, dead blue eyes that were once so lively and danced with excitement. "That is an order, Padawan. Let down your shields."

"You don't want to see it, Master," he whispers as he sags against the cool, hard wall of their quarters, his legs sprawled out, his hands fisted. "You don't want to see what I see. How would you handle knowing that Master Qui-Gon died because of me?" The words echo through the room as the younger man waits for an answer.

"Anakin, the Sith killed my Master," Obi-Wan replies softly.

"I am the Sith," Anakin moans as the visions flash again, this time more clearly than before. He doesn't even fight them anymore; he had already seen what will come. "I will be the most powerful of all the Jedi...you've heard me say it more than once. It is not overconfidence, Master; it is a statement of fact. I may be the chosen one, but which side of the Force chose me? Does anyone even know?"

"Anakin, you don't realize what you're saying." Obi-Wan demands, but something within him tells him the boy is speaking the truth. The words of the Council come back to him once again. /The chosen one he may be, but dangerous he is./ No. Not his Ani. Not the child he raised. He searches the boys face for some reminder of the child he knows but finds only a broken boy, his spirit drained. It breaks his heart as he watches the boy writhe in agony as memories continue to flood him. How can they be memories though? Nothing has happened yet.

"A Glimpse into the Future, Master." Anakin's voice is hollow, void of all emotion. "I warned you to shield your thoughts. Master Yoda was right; I am dangerous, more dangerous than you could possibly imagine. Tell me, if you could go back to the night Master Qui-Gon died, would you still promise to train me? Would you still take me on as your apprentice, your student? Seeing me now, would you still make that promise?"

"Anakin."

"If you could see what I see right now, would you have just left me alone on my planet. Left me to be the slave that I was born to be? Would you have struck me down and ended it then? Perhaps you did sense the evil in me, even back then. You felt jealousy." Anakin makes a dismissive sound. "Jealousy is forbidden, Master. Yet, you felt it when Master Qui-Gon wanted to take me on as his apprentice. So, if you knew that I would one day be the death of you, would you end my life now?" Anakin's blue eyes plead with his Master as he searches for the answers. "Would you trade the time we had together? Would you just throw that away and end it so that no more pain would be caused? Tell me, Master." When no answer comes, Anakin screams. "TELL ME!!! Tell me that you would end this! Tell me that you would make the pain STOP!! You said you wanted to help, so, by Force, HELP me!!"

"Anakin, I don't know what it is you wish for me to do?" Obi-Wan whispers, his voice cracking as his body shakes with sobs. The tears flow quickly and freely as the realization hits him. His Padawan wants him to kill him.

"Please, Master. End this."

"Anakin, I must take you to the Council," he demands. "We can stop this."

"There is only one way to stop this, Master." Anakin looks down at his hands and sighs. He is so tired and now the visions are continuous. "I was to marry Padme."

"What?"

"We would have had two children, a son and daughter. They would have helped to bring balance to the Force, but it would come at the price of so many lives. Lives that can still be saved." The teenager allows a smile as he looks into the tortured green eyes of his Master. "You were the closet person I ever had as a father. I love you. I may not have said it enough, but it is true. Do you remember when I was younger and I would drive you crazy with my antics?"

"Yes, Ani," Obi-Wan sobs. "I remember. You were just being a normal child. Your pranks and such, they were never really harmful."

"You used to tease me and say I would be the death of you ... you were right." Anakin's voice cracks as he allows the tears to fall. He doesn't even make an attempt to cover them. "I would have killed you. You would have sacrificed your life so that my son and daughter would live. I would have killed you, Master. I would have stood over you and slain my own father and I would have felt nothing." Sobs wrack his body as he covers his face in his hands and lets out a scream. "WHY?? Why me? WHY AM I THE CHOSEN ONE?" His weeping slows so that his sobs are silent; tears fall gently down his reddened cheeks as he looks up at the ceiling. "I never wanted this. I just wanted to be a Jedi. I wanted to make you and Master Qui-Gon proud. To one day return to Tatooine and free my mother and the other slaves. I wanted to be good, Master. I always wanted to be good."

"Ani, you are good. You must know that. I've raised you, I know how good and sweet you really are."

"That's not true, Master. There is so much dark inside of me. Sometimes it just boils beneath me until I can no longer control it. That's when you see my temper, Master. I try so hard to keep those emotions bottled deep inside, but I realize now that I can no longer control them. The Dark Side aches for me and forgive me for admitting it, there are times I ache for it, too." Clenching his hand into a tight fist, his eyes dance with almost an evil glint. "The power is intoxicating. It's so close, all I have to do is just reach out and grab it." Catching himself, Anakin manages to pull himself back to the Light. He focuses on his Master and the love he is sending to him and lets out a sad smile.

"Remember the first time you realized I would be taller than you?" Anakin asks softly, the sadness melting from his grin. He allows the happy memory to envelope him, keeping him safe from the rage that boils just beneath the surface. "You tried to act as if it wouldn't bother you, but I just couldn't let it rest. Did you ever figure out I was sewing my leggings up just a bit each night so that it looked as if I were growing faster and faster?"

Through his tears, Obi-Wan nods his head. "Yes, it took me a couple of days, but I figured it out. I also remember the time you decided that "borrowing" Master Windu's purple saber would be okay, just as long as he didn't find out. Of course, he found out and I had to explain you were just fascinated by its color."

Anakin laughs. "Of course, I couldn't resist adding that the only reason he had a purple one was because he wanted to be noticed in the battle field. I didn't realize one could receive that many extra duties in a month. How about the first time you lost me? When I disobeyed your order to stay at the Temple and study, and instead found an illegal pod race. Man, you were so mad at me." Anakin chuckles at the memory, attempting to make his pain vanish, if even for a short time. "When I saw you striding up the launch pad, I thought you were going to kill me for sure."

"I think, for a moment, I thought I might too. Then you gave me that look with those eyes of yours and I ended up just grounding you. You always loved to race," Obi-Wan remembers wistfully.

"It wasn't the racing so much as the flying. Of course, some of us don't have weak stomachs like others." The boy's voice is jovial as he delights in his Masters grin. "See, it wasn't always so bad having me around right?" The sad look returns to Anakin's face as he says softly. "I will miss you."

"Anakin, these are just nightmares. You can't know that these visions are the future," Obi-Wan pleads, desperate to reach the tortured young man. "I can help you, if only you will let me."

"I know this was the future, Master. Someone has given me a chance to make amends. To correct the mistakes I would have made. Someone is trying to save you from me. He wishes to save me from myself. I believe he is trying to rectify his own mistake." Anakin replies as Obi-Wan shakes his head in disbelief. "Master Qui-Gon is just trying to help us all."

"No. Master Qui-Gon would never do this. He is dead, Anakin. He would never cause you pain. "

"He is trying to prevent that pain, Master. Can't you see? I could let you see these glimpses into the future, but it would only hurt you, and I would never want to cause you pain. I have to see this, it is my knowledge, my legacy, not yours. I am sorry I asked you to assist me in this; it wasn't right." Anakin rises to his feet and brings himself to his full height. "He has tried to speak to you so many times, Master. He misses you so very much and is proud of the job you've done with me. Master Jinn will protect me on the other side."

"Anakin! NO. WHATEVER YOU HAVE IN MIND, YOU CAN'T DO IT." Master Kenobi pleads only to have his taller, yet younger apprentice grab him into a fierce embrace. Holding on to the boy for dear life, he breathes in the scent of his hair and begs into his chest. "Ani, please, don't do this. I love you, I can't have you do this."

"Forgive me, Master. I do love you, too." Anakin whispers before using the weight of the Force to push his Master across the room. Hewatches him land against the weight of the wall with a sickening thud. The boy uses the momentary surprise and lapse of consciousness in his Master to quickly leave the room. Running down the corridor he makes his way to the flight pad and pushes past a pilot, using the Force to knock him away from his space cruiser. It's the yellow cruiser he'd been admiring for sometime now. Might as well go out in style. He can feel his Master awakening and realizes he must exit quickly. With one final look at the Temple, he engages the craft and takes off into space. [Master, you can't come after me] Anakin orders through their mental telepathy.

[Turn the pod around and come back, Anakin. Please, you must allow me to help you.] Obi-Wan climbs into a craft and attempts to follow his young apprentice. [I demand that you come back. I am still your Master and you are obligated to obey me!]

[Master, it will be easier for us both, if you just allow me to do this. Besides, you hate to fly.] Anakin forces a small smile to tug at his lips as he recalls their numerous adventures in the air together. His Master would never admit it, but he got airsick pretty easily. Not Anakin, no, this is where he feels the most at ease. He reaches out into the Force and latches on to a familiar energy. "You must help him, Master Qui-Gon. He will not listen to me. I am only his Padawan, you are still his Master."

Obi-Wan closes in on the runaway plane just as an image appears to him. He nearly crashes as he manages to choke out. "Master?"

"Let the boy go, Padawan. I will see to it that no harm will come to him." Master Jinn's voice is soothing, but Obi-Wan shakes with grief.

"No, I can't lose him. I haven't even gotten over losing you! Why? Why must this be now? He's just a child. Why must it end this way? He is determined to end his own life. By Force, he begged me to kill him. You have to assist me in bringing him back. I know he can be saved." Obi-Wan pleads, suddenly feeling much like a child himself. The presence of his Master does little to soothe him as he listens to the familiar voice.

"Obi-Wan, do you honestly wish to see what Anakin had to see? Do you really want to witness what will happen if he doesn't stop this now? He is the chosen one, but he has to be the one to make the choice. I struggled with this for some time now, but once I realized that you raised Anakin to be a boy who could handle this decision, I knew I had to at least make the attempt. If he doesn't end this now, then almost all of the Jedi will die. You, my young apprentice, you will die at his hands. Would you want your death on his conscience?"

"I don't believe you! This is some kind of Sith mind trick. Anakin would never hurt me," Obi-Wan asserts as agony takes hold of him.

"Anakin would never hurt you, but Darth Vadar will. I know that somewhere deep inside you, my Padawan, you know the Dark Side does indeed exist in that boy. One day, he will no longer be able to control it and Anakin will not only be lost, but in his place will be an evil no Jedi will survive. He has a choice to make, and you must allow him that freedom. Trust in the fact you have led him properly. Have faith that he will indeed make the right choice. If you intervene, then you set forth a course of action that will have devastating effects you can't possibly imagine. Padawan, my Obi-Wan, please, trust in me to protect him. He was my responsibility from the start."

"I can't let him go," Obi-Wan cries as he reaches out to his Master and Padawan's energy at the same time. "Please, don't make me let go. You both can't leave me."

"I am proud of you, Obi-Wan. One day, you will join us." Qui whispers reassuringly.

[Master, I must go now, but remember, I do love you. Thank you for making me into the man I am.] Anakin sends the message and crumples against his Master's agonizing reply.

[You are still a boy, Padawan. You are my child! I won't even get a chance to see you become a man.] Obi-Wan lets out a sob as his voice cracks. He knows it's too late. The decision has been made. Once more he reaches out to his beloved Padawan. [I love you too.] He pauses for a moment before sending out one last plea. [Not like this, Ani. Please, allow me to say goodbye properly. Let me be with you until you cease to remain. Give me my final moments with you, please.]

[Master Obi-Wan, I don't want to hurt you. It will be easier on you this way,] Anakin explains only to hear the anguish in Obi-Wan's voice.

[If I must let you go, by Sith, let me be with you when it happens. Turn the ship around or at the very least, land it. Anakin, I need to be with you, one last time. You are still my child.]

[Yes, Master. As you wish,] Anakin whispers, unable to deny the final plea. He lands the ship at a nearby planet in a remote part of the woods. He closes his eyes and focuses on Qui-Gon's instructions on how to bring about his own death in a painless and timely manner. If only there were a way to spare his Master of the pain. Climbing out of the spacecraft, he joins Obi-Wan by a tall tree that his Master is leaning on. It's as if he is afraid he will sink to the ground without the tree's sturdy support. "Master, are you certain you want to be here?"

"I can't allow you to go by yourself," Obi-Wan whispers as he places a hand on his Padawan's cheek, his fingers tracing over the soft skin. He takes in the boy's beauty and fights to find the strength to endure the inevitable. "Besides, Master Windu would come after you if you blew up his favorite ship." They both allow a sad laugh as Anakin places his forehead against his Master's.

"I will feel no pain, Master. Qui-Gon has instructed me on how to refuse my oxygen intake. I will fall into a slumber and then my breathing will stop. It will be quick, I promise." Pulling away, he takes in one final look of his Master's features and smiles. "I know you hate it, but you should keep the beard. It does make you appear wise." Anakin sinks to the ground as Obi-Wan takes a seat with him, his back resting against the stump of the tree.

He pulls Anakin into his lap, not caring how ridiculous it may appear to see the taller boy resting against him. This was his child and by Force, he would hold him till the very end. Nestling him close, he places a kiss on top of the boy's head before resting his chin against his soft blond hair. He looks down as Anakin closes his eyes and steels himself from taking in any oxygen. As promised, Anakin's breathing slowly begins to cease. Obi-Wan feels as if his own breathing will stop as he looks down at the ailing boy.

//Master, I am fine. There is no pain.//

Gently stroking the hair away from Anakin's face, he gathers the Force around him to help him handle his grief. He can feel the child slowly fading away. Anakin reaches up and lightly strokes his Master's beard one final time, before his arm falls to his side. There is barely any life left in the boy as Obi-Wan whispers one more time. "I love you, Ani." Within seconds Anakin lays lifelessly in his Master's arms. Completely broken, Obi-Wan cradles the boy's body close, rocking him as he allows his grief to wash over him. Time passes slowly until Obi-Wan manages to gather the strength to carry the boy's body to a clearing by the tree. Kneeling next to him, he lights a torch and then sets the body on fire, watching as his Padawan slowly leaves him. He is reminded of the time when he watched his own Master go in the same fashion. At least this time, he is granted privacy to grieve. "Goodbye, my child. I am so sorry I failed you."

[Master, you didn't fail me,] comes the happy response. [I am safe now. You gave me the strength I needed to make the right choice. I will never be completely away from you, I promise. You just have to allow me in, just as you allowed Master Qui-Gon in when you needed him most. It's okay, now. The Jedi will continue; there is balance in the Force. Can't you feel it? It's wonderful! You will have more Padawans and one day sit on the Council with Master Yoda. You helped me, Master, just as you helped all the Jedi. You helped me to stop the pain, just as you promised me you would. Please allow yourself to stop hurting too.]

[Is Master Qui-Gon with you?] Obi-Wan calls out into the Force, which he can now feel is balanced and peaceful. It wraps itself around him, attempting to offer him comfort, but Obi-Wan is still too raw to accept it.

[Yes, Padawan, I am with him. I will protect him until you join us, but that will be a long time from now. You must join the living, Obi-Wan and allow us to continue on our chosen path. We expect great things from you, Obi-Wan Kenobi. One day, you will be the greatest of all the Jedi,] Qui-Gon answers gently.

[No Master, Ani is already the greatest of them all. I can only hope to be as brave and wise when faced with the same difficult decisions that may come my way. I was fortunate to have had the best Master and Padawan, I love you both.] Obi-Wan turns the ship around and sets his course for Coruscant. He is too emotionally drained to explain to the Council the day's events; all he wants is to go to his quarters and rest.

No explanation is needed; he can feel that as he walks along the lonely corridors of the Temple. It offers him temporary relief. At least he won't have to share his pain, not yet. He enters his quarters and pauses at the room his Padawan once called his own. Metal parts are strewn around from various projects Ani was working on. His clothes piled in a corner of the room. Amazing, this always was a sense of annoyance before, and now it's comforting to see the traces of his apprentice. Entering the room slowly, he eases himself onto the bed and pulls Anakin's pillow close, hugging it tightly and breathing in the clean, sweet scent of the child he raised. Closing his eyes he allows memories to flood them and sees his Ani, blue eyes dancing, laughing loudly and running alongside his own tall and graceful Master. Qui-Gon and Anakin are reunited, just as fate had determined it should be. It is with this image that he finally succumbs to slumber.

The End